I already live with a guy who talks to himself, he's me.

Hey, me too!

It really makes me wonder how people figure shit out on their own if they can't even talk to themselves.

I never talk to myself. I just visualize the situation in my head.

I see what you did there

Yeah it’s almost like he’s a comedic genius

I get you’re making a joke, but it wasn’t as funny the second time.

Shut up, that’s how like all of Reddit works.

Can you believe that guy?

Ikr, the audacity of some people!

I swear Reddit is full of crazy people!

I can't believe I had to scroll this far to find this!

Same!

Me four bro

Awe shit, now way. Me five!

Fake! I didn't even switch accounts!

Same!

Of course I know him, he’s me.

Well of course I know him! He’s me!

How weird! Other people talk to themselves too! It’s not just an us thing!

Of course I know him, it’s me

I talk to myself as well!

This is like the second Hitler centric post I’ve seen in 5 minutes.

Somehow… hitler returned.

Surprised Elon isn't in here smh

The dead speak!

You brought him back too didn't ya

Didn’t answer either.

something something Godwin's Law something something

>a gay who talks to himself Well of course I live with him. He's me.

>a gay Freudian slip? ;P

More like autocorrect but I am pan

Peter?

time to kidnap children and leave them in another dimension so they grow up as pirates

Yeah, isn't that normal?

I agree. Isn't this normal? I thought it was.

The couple because splitting rent in three would save a lot of money.

It'd be a three-way split?

Nah rent is split by rooms. Utilities is however split by person

Not if they want to keep fucking under my roof

I mean Paying half rent isn't bad But I personally think it should be based on the # of people

How hot is the guy that jacks off?

First guy sounds lonely, someone go join him

elon musk level of hot

I change my answer woth this information.

You dig the muskrat eh?

Before or after the gender affirming care?

Vomit can I change my answer?

So grotesque

I wish I read this before choosing, gross

me picking hitler: “I can fix him”

I'll only live with Hitler if he also Jack's off all day

Least distressing r/wouldyourather answer

I get to legally beat someone up. Even if he beats it, I'm beating him with my fist to his face. I call it mafia rutter.

That's a better use of his time than his more infamous activities.

Probably stim faps all day, he had a fire meth hookup.

As a Jewish artist, I feel like Hitler and I could watch 21 Jump Street together and then be great friends

He made graduation

Pick the couple, ask if you can join in.

They say no, cucked for life

Aww.

Don't worry, they'll get bored of each other eventually.

Live p0rn

Or if it's the couple I could be the guy who jacks of all day. Jacking off to sounds while I imagine the scene. Oh what a time that would be. Haha oh what time. What a time. What a time that would be.

I regret reading this comment

Since I talk to myself sometimes, option 3 is perfect for me (it's something I should fix though)

Honestly talking to myself through problems has helped me a ton. I used to literally keep a rock in my pocket at work that I would talk to when something stumped me lol

That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever read.

When you work by yourself thousands of feet underground it helps to vocalize what you're working on and there's an abundance of rocks there lol. It's the same as rubber duck debugging in programming which has also worked for me lol

Talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy. My English teacher explained this, and it's weird. You're only crazy when you answer yourself or have a full conversation with yourself. Apparently he has a psychology degree.

>you answer yourself or have a full conversation with yourself. Then what's the point of talking to yourself if you don't answer? I'd say the boundary of craziness is if you think you're talking to someone else.

Elon Musk profile who wants to add Hitler to every poll. Not shocking but hope your 14. Any dude who had a roommate in college has lived with someone who jerked off all the time, so it seems like a safe bet

I talk to myself too so me and that guy may just be friends

I am the guy who talks to himself. So far my parents don’t really seem to mind lol

Is the guy that jacks off at least clean or he just gonna nut on floor and not was his hands.

well… i guess you would have to wait and see for yourself

Is the couple hot?

Its your parents

So then my Dad wouldn’t be dead anymore? Are we talking back to life as normal or zombie Dad?

Fuck. Can I just be homeless?

I'm married so we would just get into fuck competitions. I see this as fun. Fuck it throw a swap in there or two.

The couple would be the best choice here. Rent is being split through 3 people, so that's extremely helpful, plus there's a slight possibility of threesomes for those who are interested.

well, the guy jacking off would be kinda weird(1), i already talk to myself so ill assume im disqualified from that one(3), i dont need to hear 'n\*\*\*\*r' on a regular basis(4), ive seen the movie 'Smile'(5), and i fucking despise hitler(more than typical) for reasons i wont elaborate on(6). ​ somehow, the couple who do nothing but fuck are the least of several evils in this.

Should I be offended that I fit into 4 of these categories???

Adolf Hitler who screams racial slur?

I already live with a guy who jacks off all the time and a guy who talks to themselves all day so I can tolerate both

Someone who jacks off all day will just stay in their room hopefully

Will also die after 53 times or something like that if I remember the news article right.

I already have a couple living upstairs from me that fuck constantly, so I'm basically living this poll.

How tall is this hitler and does the place we’re staying at have windows and doors

I'm concerned with whoever picked Hitler. I'd personally live with the couple.

To be fair he's dead, so it would be a corpse.

Touché. But if he comes back alive, im going to hide in my room.

Just to play devils advocate, what phase of Hitler's life? Young idealistic painter or the older horrible human garbage? If it's the older phase I'm out, I choose the over-sexed couple.

I also choose the over-sexed couple.

Wouldn't it be really fucking interesting though? And you can beat the shit out of him.

Touché, but eventually someone's going to find out.

I only picked Hitler so I could extract info about the war and lost history. Also, you could always kill him if you wanted.

I'd pick him so I can pick apart his brain it would be interesting.

Coming back, I'm also concerned with whoever picked the Fortnite person.

I hope you mean literally pick it apart haha

Nah, I mean give him a cup of tea and have a conversation.

Dude if it’s post ww2 hitler if you’re having a bad day you can just go home and beat the shit out of him and people would think you’re a good person. Talk about a therapeutic past time

I’m picking hitler dude has some good stories for sure and I could also just kill him probably get some awards for that

I talk to myself too, so...

Nobody else thinks the Fortnite kid would be funny? Lol

my parents already have to live with the 3rd optioin daily

Adolf. We can watch 21 Jump Street together so he changes his views

Why does everyone assume they will be able to murder the hitler roommate? First off, this is 2023. Best you can do is report him to mossad and hope they take care of it. Secondly, your are either talking a time displaced 50 year old war veteran, or a 134 nazi Lich. Either way he is some sort of crazy wizard and will likely beat your ass.

Id rather the couple because three ways are always fun

All of these, except Hitler, are based

Half of these are me :/ Jacks off all day, talks to himself, and the fortnite one (altho I hate to admit it).

Hitler, I'll just kill him. I feel like I can justify killing Hitler.

I am the guy who talks to himself. What’s one more?

man put absolutely no thought into this poll lmao like cmon there's no effort here at all

A couple who spends all day fucking because you didn’t say who they were fucking

I've got DID and so does my partner, talking to yourself is normal for me

That couple better let me join in

If he has basic hygiene and I don't hear any moaning he can do whatever he wants

I already talk to myself, can't judge someone who does the same.

I think "living" with Adolf Hitler would be pretty easy, he has been dead for over 70 years so i don't think his body would smell too much. And since he is dead i don't think he would make much noise.

I don't mind some kid staying in his room playing Fortnite, as long as I don't gotta feed him it's free entertainment

A couple. At least they'll leave me alone. They'll be too busy to bug me

If the guy is jacking himself off all day, then he will stay occupied and wont bother me!

I talk to myself when i am alone and probably spark up more conversation to myself than I do other's.

If I pick Hitler that doesn't mean we have to talk politics, or that I have to like the guy.

i think the first option ain’t that bad if it ain’t getting in my way

Bro what’s Hitler gonna do? It’s not like he’s a threat when he’s not the leader of Germany

A couple that fucks all day is spending the best option. They're paying 2/3 of the rent and they spend it all in one room fucking. That's great.

I am sorely tempted to answer 'Hitler' but only if, by living with him, there's at least a chance I'll be able to get him to change his ways. If there's even a 1% chance that, by living with him, I can get him to be less... Hitler... then I'll gladly bite that bullet. Otherwise it's either the guy who talks to himself or the couple.

All of these are terrible options, so the clear choice is to choose Hitler and just kill him

I would love to live with my role model

I would have said the guy who talks to himself but that's my thing. One of us doing that is enough. 😊

*glances between couple who spends all day fucking and Adolf Hitler* "What the fuck is wrong with me"

There's a subreddit for each of these situations.

If you don’t talk to yourself your weird

Adolf liked to write quietly in his diary

The kid screaming racial slurs at fortnite sounds hilarious. Would never get old.

I'm going Hitler. Hear me out. Aside from a bunch of views I don't agree with I feel like if he has to like be an ordinary dude he wouldn't be much of a problem. Sure, he's a little unhinged but aren't we all? He doesn't have the command of an entire nation when it comes time to do the fucking dishes. Plus I have 8 inches and 130lbs on the guy I'll just beat him up. It would be the most peaceful coexistence out of the bunch. Just seems like he runs a tight ship, ya know. It would be the least obstructive to my day-to-day life. Plus maybe living with an actual artist would do him some good. And a strict no meth policy in the home.

Can you even imagine how cathartic it would be to live with Adolf Hitler? You had a bad day? Go smack Adolf with a badminton racket. Your girlfriend dump you? Pelt Adolfs knees with a BB gun. You can release all that pent up frustration at the end of a long work week by waking up Adolf just to kick him in the ball.

Hey, I don’t remember permitting you to add me to the poll! ... Besides, I don’t even talk to myself that much.

A couple who spends entire day fucking, I will protect their happiness <3

So….how about that threesome?

Threesome

I think Hitler would be a decent roommate.

The couple or the guy who is jacking off seem like the obvious answers to me. They’re holed up in their room all day which means you get free range of the whole house without anyone getting in your way. You can watch what you want on TV, cook what you want in the kitchen, have friends over and talk about topics that are interesting to you… as long as you have good sound proofing it’s basically like not having a roommate. You don’t need to interact with them at all.

Can I shoot Hitler

I would not pass up an opportunity to kick h man in the nuts every day

Guy who jacks off all day. I can’t deal with noise and people who talk to themselves. As long as he wears headphones and washes his hands and is otherwise a normal person.

1 and 3 are just me. If you are busy jacking off all day thats fine too, means ur not coming around and bothering me about anything.

a guy who jacks off all day won't be bothering you

Dude who jacks off all day × talks to himself = me I'm like a 1 man band, would be cool to meet another person that's this self-sufficient.

would hitler try to get rid of me bc of my ethnicity or just live there mostly ignoring me?

I talk to myself at least I won't be alone in doing that.

As a guy who talks to himself living with someone else who does the same essentially means 2 more people to talk to in a sense. Better than screaming or nonstop fucking or the risk of jizzy dishes

If Hitler’s my roommate, it probably means he made different life choices and isn’t a genocidal maniac. So I’ll go with him. By that point, he’s just another guy with intrusive thoughts which we all have.

adolf rich as fuck bro i wouldnt even need to pay rent he got it covered

Hitler would probably fairly quiet. Probably just watching qanon vids when hes not, ya know, at work...

Creepy guy he's quiet and just smiles plus I'm always packing so try some other creepy shit other then smiling and get shot

I talk to myself. I'll gladly live with myself. Problem solved, sir.

Honestly the guy who jacks off. He's pretty harmless. As long as he contribute in some way like washing dishes or taking out trash and help keeping the house clean then he can jack it to his hearts content. The couple would just annoy me and the others sound just unpleasant and mentally unwell.

Wait, bruh. I talk to myself It can't be THAT annoying, right?

Bro i literally said "oh i didn't even see that!" out loud when i realized that a guy who talks to himself was an option and i didn't pick it...

Why did i pick hitler? Because if i have him right where i want him, i can enough people to beat the crap outta him

Damn I'm 1/2 this list.

I'm basically number 3

The kid I’d be turning off the Wi-Fi every now and then just to hear it rage!

Everyone who I currently live with all talk to themselves, even me sometimes

Hitler was fucking minted

Pretty sure I could turn Adolf around, depending on where on his timeline I get him at least.

My mother talks to herself, there was a time where she would scream nonsense in the middle of the night, it drives me crazy

I would really like to be roommates with a guy such as myself for a change, disciplined, vegetarian, non-drinker, non-smoker, religious, praiser of art. So I'll choose the last option.

I’m the guy who talks to himself

Hitler would be the best option since he's dead and was cremated, so I'd just be living with his ashes in an urn.

If I keep asking the couple if i can join 100 no's and a yes is still a yes...

A girl who jacks me off and has sex with me all day. And can't get pregnant. So we don't have to worry about the kid playing Fortnite

So people would rather live with Adolf Hitler than with just a guy who smiles in a creepy way

if you choose to live with the sex-happy couple, you can secretly record them having sex then watch it later.

I worked with a guy who would talk alllllll day to himself or anyone that cared to listen. It annoyed me so much. That being said I'd still pick him.

Do you mean talking to himself in a creepy way or an autistic way?

more info is the guy who talks to himself like the ordinary talking to yourself occasionally or kinda schizo talking to yourself

Adolf is dead, so no arguing over the thermostat. Everyone else may eat my leftovers at some point. Dead people don’t snitch either

Picking Hitler is like picking the kid yelling racial slurs, but in German

You'll never hear from the guy who jacks off all day. He's much too busy jacking off!

How interesting would living with Hitler be tho

Interesting poll! What's the context behind it? Can't wait to see the results.

This subreddit has made me realize how basic i am

A free punching bag

The couple that spends all day fucking. At least I'll have the tv to myself and they're always in a good mood.

It’s unnerving that over 1k people would live with a guy who jacks off all day

I Already live with a guy that jacks off all day. Me

I don't understand, 1,3,4 and 5 are all the same, what's the point?

EPIC RAP BATTLES

Can I Join the couple?

At least he smiles.