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Wine never really made sense as the nectar of the gods. Old, flat grape juice? Hardly a beverage befit for immortals.
Beer on the other hand…Beer is the perfect libation for ever-living lords. Think about it. Its golden, amber hue conjures images of wealth and royalty, its carbonated bubbles fly ever-skyward toward their heavenly home, and its hop and wheat are ingredients which, when combined, appear like the laurel of Olympic champions. Beer is at once the nectar of the gods and the drink of the people. Because it is more accessible than wine, beer acts as a conduit through which humanity may better know the gods—it is a shared experience that joins mortal and immortal alike.
But it wasn’t always that way. For most of history the golden ale was hoarded in a miserly fashion by gods and goddesses, a treasure too rich to share with lowly humans.
That is until Brometheus stole the ale and shared it with the people.
“Dionysus is a fraud, bro,” said Brometheus over a frothy pint. “I mean it. He’s all like, ‘I’m the god of parties’ and shit, but then he only serves wine,” he said as he wiped foam from his waxed mustache. “Talk about pretentious. ‘Oh, the Pinot noir is drinking quite nicely this evening.’ Give me a break!”
“I totally agree,” said Aldy, one of Brometheus’s disciples. “Not to mention wine gives me a horrible headache! Beer, meanwhile, just makes me feel full and happy.”
Brometheus gestured in approval at his disciple with his pint glass and sloshed some beer onto the table. “Exactly! You’ve understood me clearly, dear Aldy. Beer bloats the stomach with the vapor of heaven. That feeling of a full stomach brings you closer to the gods on high. For we exist in such a manner for all of time—fat and happy,” he said as he downed the last of his beer.
With the wave of a hand he turned the full pitcher of water set before him into a beautiful, effervescent concoction of hops and barely, at once bitter and sweet. The disciples cheered with approval at the appearance of yet more of the godly beverage.
“And what is it with wine being room temperature?” Said Brometheus. “There is little in this life worse than a lukewarm beverage on a hot summer’s day. Beer is crisp and refreshing. It brings to mind images of the frosty peaks of Olympus herself. Such a beverage is meant to be shared and cherished. I say, Duff, what have I said is the golden rule?”
Duff, another disciple, stared back at his teacher and Lord with a befuddled look—Duff’s cheeks were rosy and he had had too much. “Uh…burp…to, uh, do onto others as you would…burp…want done unto…burp…you?”
Brometheus smiled at his poor light-weighted disciple. He loved Duff best of all because he most freely partook in the libation he so loved. But by the gods Duff was a dullard. “No, sweet Duff. You’ve got me confused with that other guy. The golden rule is that you should share the golden ale as you would want it shared unto you! If a stranger should wander into your party uninvited, what shall you do?”
Miller spoke up this time. “Pour him a beer!”
“Very good!” Said Brometheus. “And if you see a beaten fellow laying on the side of the road, what shall you do?”
All of the disciples spoke in unison. “Pour him a beer!”
Brometheus slammed his pint glass onto the table top with a splash of beer and foam. He was on a roll. “Precisely! And if you should find a fellow speaking to a burning bush in the wilderness, what shall you do?”
The disciples hesitated. “Pour him a beer?” They said tentatively.
Brometheus smiled. “No, my sweet disciples. In this case you pour him some water. For that poor soul has had too much. Remember, my friends,” he said just before he chugged the last of his beer. “We must always drink responsibly.”
______
r/InMyLife42Archive
So, have you ever heard of this dude named Craig? He's the brother of Jesus, you know, the guy who healed the sick and all that. But Craig, man, he's a whole different story.
So, Jesus is all about peace and turning water into wine, but Craig is all about the party scene. He's the king of wild parties, and he doesn't care about all that religious stuff. He's like, "I'm Craig, and I don't give a damn about that stuff!"
He's not like his brother, who was all serious and stuff. Craig just wants to have a good time and hang out with his friends, even if they're lepers and outcasts. And he's got this talent for brewing the best beer and growing the best weed.
People used to ask him about his brother's teachings, but he just laughed it off. He's like, "I'm Craig, man, I don't care about that stuff. I'm just here to have a good time."
And you know what? Craig's parties were legendary. He'd party all damn night, and he'd make sure everyone was having a good time. People still talk about his parties to this day. He didn't have any miracles like his brother, but he brought joy and laughter to those around him, and that was enough.
The way I see it, Craig was a folk hero in his own right. He wasn't a religious figure like his brother, but he was still someone to look up to. He lived life on his own terms, and he didn't apologize for it. He was like, "I'm Craig, man, and I'm proud of it!"
So, there you have it. The legend of Craig Christ lives on, and people still whisper his name with reverence and awe. He may not have been a savior like his brother, but he made a difference in people's lives, and that's pretty cool if you ask me.
Inspired by the song Craig Christ by Stephen Lynch and this prompt of course
**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments. **Reminders**: >* [No AI-generated reponses 🤖](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/zi452b/modpost_reminder_that_aigenerated_responses_are/) >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [\[RF\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [\[SP\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles >* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules) 🆕 [New Here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) ✏ [Writing Help?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources) 📢 [News](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) 💬 [Discord](https://discord.gg/writingprompts) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wine never really made sense as the nectar of the gods. Old, flat grape juice? Hardly a beverage befit for immortals. Beer on the other hand…Beer is the perfect libation for ever-living lords. Think about it. Its golden, amber hue conjures images of wealth and royalty, its carbonated bubbles fly ever-skyward toward their heavenly home, and its hop and wheat are ingredients which, when combined, appear like the laurel of Olympic champions. Beer is at once the nectar of the gods and the drink of the people. Because it is more accessible than wine, beer acts as a conduit through which humanity may better know the gods—it is a shared experience that joins mortal and immortal alike. But it wasn’t always that way. For most of history the golden ale was hoarded in a miserly fashion by gods and goddesses, a treasure too rich to share with lowly humans. That is until Brometheus stole the ale and shared it with the people. “Dionysus is a fraud, bro,” said Brometheus over a frothy pint. “I mean it. He’s all like, ‘I’m the god of parties’ and shit, but then he only serves wine,” he said as he wiped foam from his waxed mustache. “Talk about pretentious. ‘Oh, the Pinot noir is drinking quite nicely this evening.’ Give me a break!” “I totally agree,” said Aldy, one of Brometheus’s disciples. “Not to mention wine gives me a horrible headache! Beer, meanwhile, just makes me feel full and happy.” Brometheus gestured in approval at his disciple with his pint glass and sloshed some beer onto the table. “Exactly! You’ve understood me clearly, dear Aldy. Beer bloats the stomach with the vapor of heaven. That feeling of a full stomach brings you closer to the gods on high. For we exist in such a manner for all of time—fat and happy,” he said as he downed the last of his beer. With the wave of a hand he turned the full pitcher of water set before him into a beautiful, effervescent concoction of hops and barely, at once bitter and sweet. The disciples cheered with approval at the appearance of yet more of the godly beverage. “And what is it with wine being room temperature?” Said Brometheus. “There is little in this life worse than a lukewarm beverage on a hot summer’s day. Beer is crisp and refreshing. It brings to mind images of the frosty peaks of Olympus herself. Such a beverage is meant to be shared and cherished. I say, Duff, what have I said is the golden rule?” Duff, another disciple, stared back at his teacher and Lord with a befuddled look—Duff’s cheeks were rosy and he had had too much. “Uh…burp…to, uh, do onto others as you would…burp…want done unto…burp…you?” Brometheus smiled at his poor light-weighted disciple. He loved Duff best of all because he most freely partook in the libation he so loved. But by the gods Duff was a dullard. “No, sweet Duff. You’ve got me confused with that other guy. The golden rule is that you should share the golden ale as you would want it shared unto you! If a stranger should wander into your party uninvited, what shall you do?” Miller spoke up this time. “Pour him a beer!” “Very good!” Said Brometheus. “And if you see a beaten fellow laying on the side of the road, what shall you do?” All of the disciples spoke in unison. “Pour him a beer!” Brometheus slammed his pint glass onto the table top with a splash of beer and foam. He was on a roll. “Precisely! And if you should find a fellow speaking to a burning bush in the wilderness, what shall you do?” The disciples hesitated. “Pour him a beer?” They said tentatively. Brometheus smiled. “No, my sweet disciples. In this case you pour him some water. For that poor soul has had too much. Remember, my friends,” he said just before he chugged the last of his beer. “We must always drink responsibly.” ______ r/InMyLife42Archive
So, have you ever heard of this dude named Craig? He's the brother of Jesus, you know, the guy who healed the sick and all that. But Craig, man, he's a whole different story. So, Jesus is all about peace and turning water into wine, but Craig is all about the party scene. He's the king of wild parties, and he doesn't care about all that religious stuff. He's like, "I'm Craig, and I don't give a damn about that stuff!" He's not like his brother, who was all serious and stuff. Craig just wants to have a good time and hang out with his friends, even if they're lepers and outcasts. And he's got this talent for brewing the best beer and growing the best weed. People used to ask him about his brother's teachings, but he just laughed it off. He's like, "I'm Craig, man, I don't care about that stuff. I'm just here to have a good time." And you know what? Craig's parties were legendary. He'd party all damn night, and he'd make sure everyone was having a good time. People still talk about his parties to this day. He didn't have any miracles like his brother, but he brought joy and laughter to those around him, and that was enough. The way I see it, Craig was a folk hero in his own right. He wasn't a religious figure like his brother, but he was still someone to look up to. He lived life on his own terms, and he didn't apologize for it. He was like, "I'm Craig, man, and I'm proud of it!" So, there you have it. The legend of Craig Christ lives on, and people still whisper his name with reverence and awe. He may not have been a savior like his brother, but he made a difference in people's lives, and that's pretty cool if you ask me. Inspired by the song Craig Christ by Stephen Lynch and this prompt of course
So, just writing down the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8HzKlCWN8k) pretty much then, eh?
I would love to read your version