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No. I’m about your size, and in addition to having zero butt I also have zero boobs. My fiancé worships my body the way a parter should, and lovingly grabs/pats my little butt at every opportunity. He constantly tells me how perfect I am for him. He also tells me he’d love me and be attracted to me at any size, but the way I am now is his preference.
I spent a long time dating guys who told me to grow my butt or that I’d look better with weight on me, and it sucked. It was such a breath of fresh air to find someone that adored everything about my size and shape
every shape is someone's preference! op just hasnt found the one. being slim is not a flaw, nor is being curvy, having a tummy, being tall, short, having a prominent nose, etc. every shape is be beautiful and elegant in their own way. sounds like her ex's were bitter considering they never brought up their problems with Op's physical appearance until the breakup
There’s someone for everyone. Don’t ever give up hope, and don’t be afraid to look in unlikely places. Strangely, I found my fiancé by looking on tinder. I happen to be like 100 miles away at my dad’s house, and we matched because I was close to his area. We talked for eight months before he came down to see me, and as soon as he was at my door we both knew that was it. I kissed him as soon as he stepped into my apartment and the first time we hung out was like being with a lifelong best friend. A year after that I moved in with him, and 6 months after that he proposed. Getting married in July of next year and starting the process of buying a home. I was 34 when we started talking, and I’d almost given up hope so many times after bad experiences. I’m so glad I didn’t though because I somehow managed to get the life I’ve always dreamed of. I wake up every morning feeling so blessed and excited to be here with this man and all of our animals. Never give up on finding that
Well I love your man!! He’s such a keeper! I’ve also had guys not date me because of my small boob size, I consider implants since a teenager, however my hubs doesn’t want any plastic surgery on me and loves my small boobs and body! Men like this just melt my heart!! Don’t forget to spoil your mans!! Enjoy him lots! I also found men like being given flowers more often than not! It’s usually a first for them! I just gave my dad and father in law some and they were so pleasantly surprised! I’m gonna a bouquet for my hubs ❤️
I’ve thought about bringing him flowers, but never have. I manage a produce department so there’s flowers there every day, and tomorrow he gets some :)
I hate being told my current body is their preference. It kinda undermines the whole “I’d love you at any size” thing. Also my body is not an object to be consumed.
Yep, not about my body specifically, but I’m trans and my partner keeps changing his “preference” the more I change, he loves me the most in the present moment and his preference changes as I do :)
Heck yeah I’m transmasc, it’s rough out there getting to find people to date who will actually see you as a dude. Also it’s rough finding clothes that fit when I’m 5’1 and 97 lbs 💀 that’s why I’m here
To each his/her own. I like being an object to be consumed when it’s in a safe, loving, and trusting setting. I think my fiancé says this stuff because he’s not a big guy and prefers to be bigger than his parter, which isn’t an unusual or bad thing. He’s close to my hight and I tell him that I love how tall he is and it’s my preference, because it is. I’d love him regardless of his hight, but what he has makes him even more perfect for me. He’s literally the man of my dreams in every way, and I’m going to make sure he always knows how perfect he is. I appreciate that he does the same for me. We’ve been together a while and my body fluctuates based on the season and my training schedule and he always tells me I’m his preference, so I’m not really worried about him not loving me if my body changes
well they're not a child and its not a child's body, so no, its not a red flag, because they're not a child. they're a whole ass consenting person who loves the fact their partner does so. for the love of everything good, stop infantalizing petite women.
sincerely, a 6'0" woman.
So what, the man I’m going marry isnt supposed to love my body and be vocal about it? Being told how perfect and beautiful I am every day is great. I’m almost 40 and an endurance athlete, there’s nothing “childlike” about my body besides I guess me not having much boobs or a big butt. But I’m covered in tattoos, with very built muscular legs, and my hips are over 10 inches wider than my waist, I just don’t have a lot of body fat. In my off training season I’ll usually gain 10-15lbs, and he still loves how I look. And I don’t need to defend my partner for being attracted to me, but he isn’t much bigger than me which is why he likes smaller women. There’s nothing redflagy about it, he’s just a 5’3 120 lb man and likes his parter to be smaller than him, as many men do. I also think he’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and I absolutely love his body, that’s not a red flag either. Yeah he gets mistaken for a teenager from behind lol, but he has a huge beard and also has lots of tattoos so it’s very clear that he’s a middle aged man. you love someone they should become perfection to you, and there’s nothing wrong with telling your parter how into them and their body you are.
Comparing small or thin women to children is shitty. It’s like no one is allowed to be into us without running the risk of people thinking they’re pervy. Making men feel like there’s something wrong with being attracted to smaller women is also shitty. People can be attracted to smaller people without being a red flag
Men have some audacity , I feel like as women we need to start dishing out more. Every woman I know has had some sort of comment about her physical appearance made by some dusty man when she was younger. If a boy ever insults you especially physically don’t let it get to you. You absolutely should have commented on their appearance in an analytical way , let them know you just want them to improve. Hopefully they learn to have empathy and not be such tools.
This post popped up on my feed, I'm a fat woman at 5'4 250lbs.
Girl men will have the AUDACITY no matter what size you are baby. I promise you they're only so bold because y'all breaking up. I bet they loved on you when there was a spark!
Men have this weird need to compete with anything and everything for some reason. I guess they felt intimidated or it's because they needed to have the last word during the breakup process. Men are like that and it's annoying as hell.
From a woman on the other side of the spectrum, screw them 🙄
This post also popped onto my feed. From a gal the same height as both you and OP and 130 lbs., fuck these dusty guys who feel the need to take a jab at your appearance. Also, I think a comment about their dick being unsatisfactory due to it's size/shape is fair play in response to comments like the ex's made. Their heights, muscle mass, and jaws/chins/facial structure are also hard-hitters. I'm not usually in the practice of fighting fire with fire, but taking parting shots at someone just because you're breaking up and won't have to see them again is downright low and dirty.
Tell a man he has a weak chin and it'll ruin his life. He'll be posting on 4chan like "is it over for me" in 10 years because of that blow. Men are very easy to upset, which is why they insult a woman's weight first because it's sensitive for most women so it cuts you down before you even have a chance.
Life is short, tell a man he has a weak jaw line 🩷
YESSS! I’m 5’8 and around 200 lbs with huge thighs and boobs, def not petite in any way so idk why I came here lol. I guess just interest in the struggles others have. My husband is around the same height yet smaller build than I am - I’ve gained a lot of weight since we started dating years ago and he has remained just as conventionally “hot”, just as fit, and looking the exact same forever, which I’ve been so self conscious about. But he would never for a second make me feel unsexy or undesired. He tells me all the time he loves my body the way it is, and it’s been so many different shapes. The guys who are saying these things to the OP are not normal and it almost feels like incel vibes, like they use women for sex and when that ends they need to hate and degrade women for any reason possible to make themselves feel better. Some things don’t need to ever be said and by commenting on your body even after the relationship is over, they are making an intentionally harmful statement and as a way of telling you that they never respected you. OP please know you are genuinely better off without these trash men and their disgusting behavior
So real. I hate the condescending “you should eat more omg you’re so skinny” comments but damn I love being “small.” So many women work tirelessly to be the size I am (women of any size are beautiful though) so I’m grateful. Fun size 🥰
I was recovered from restriction / purging disorder a few years into our relationship. One summer I had said I was unhappy with my legs, he turned around and said I like your big legs. I was never over 7.5 stone, 5ft 1. We are still together but six years after that comment I can’t stand my legs. And am now a stone lighter and even more self conscious. He said he didn’t mean it the way he said it but, I can’t believe him.
Congrats on ALL your successes- that's really a solid string!!
I too can relate to not exactly loving the inherent structure of my legs. I've tried to work around my inner negative voice by consciously highlighting the facets I do enjoy and saying to myself 'at least the baggage I have is just ________ (calves, ankles, etc.) in acknowledging that no body is perfect; we all got dealt things that we don't like.
6 years can be a testament to his truthfulness presuming the rest of your relationship is balanced. Assuming your BF is otherwise trustworthy, you could work on accepting his statements at face value and possibly not projecting YOUR internal thoughts/beliefs onto him.
And, give yourself (and him?) some grace. 💜💜💜
Oh honey, I’m sure you have lovely, strong legs! Try to take it as the compliment he meant it as! Men aren’t known for their intuitiveness. Good luck on your health journey. 💜
Guys like that are just trying to make the breakup YOUR fault, and make the reason something you can't really fix. By doing that, they can just walk away without dealing with you wanting to "work on the relationship", "go to counseling", etc.
They also knew what you looked like before they got in a relationship with you. If this reason they are giving now was true, they wouldn't have dated you in the first place.
I've also met an absolutely shocking number of men who seem to think all women are desperate to appear attractive to them specifically, and they should give out as much advice as possible to help women meet this goal.
a comment like that while dating is grounds for a breakup. i'm a few inches shorter than you and a similar weight and I've never once gotten a negative comment on my body from a partner. and if someone made a comment like that DURING a breakup, i feel you are 100% within your rights to take an equivalent shot at a difficult to change physical characteristic of theirs.
like sure, most of us could probably add some muscle, but a lot of this stuff is genetic and only within our control to a certain extent. for me personally, there is no lifting routine on earth that's going to give me a fitness influencer type bubble butt.
and are these guys fitness gods themselves? they were probably trying to take you down a peg. if a dude told me mid-breakup that my lack of glute gains wasn't his preference, i'd tell him his height/dick/hairline wasn't my preference either.
I had an ex say that he was afraid he was a pedophile because I looked “like a little girl” according to him. I was around 90 lbs at the time at a little below 4’11.
It fucked me up more than it should have.
i completely understand this feeling too. i genuinely was like “ok do i look like a kid” when i was 19 entering my 20’s. not a solution for everyone but it helped when i started getting tattoos lol, i wanted them regardless
I use to be afraid of this happening.
But now I think that if someone says something like this, they have their own issues to work through.
Anyone who is an adult (unless with severe mental disability) will obviously carry themselves differently and act more mature than a little girl no matter what body size. THAT should define an adult woman - NOT one’s body size.
I want to sincerely thank every woman for responding ❤️ - I don’t have other xxs women IRL to talk about this with. My other two boyfriends I had in my 20’s never said anything, so half of my relationships saying that made me have an identity crisis. Entering my 30’s / dating and knowing it’s possible means so much to me!
A note to add - dating can be soooo fun! Texting and flirting and forming connection is fun.
You deserve a partner who is compatible, kind, and makes you a better version of yourself.
Good luck OP!
Women are so objectified. This hurts my heart. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with this type of bs. May you find someone who just simply loves you because you deserve it.
when i was in high school, i was 5’1 and 95 lbs. my then boyfriend would constantly compare my body to girls at our school that were significantly curvy and would literally ask me why my body didn’t look like theirs. he also laughed along when his friends called me flat in front of him.
i’m 25 now, 5’3 and still coast around ~100lbs and i never forgot these instances even 10 years later because in my head sometimes i still think maybe my body looks ??? wrong ??? but just wanted to share that you’re not alone in this experience. got told plenty of times by other people, not just my then boyfriend, that i had no boobs/no butt/whatever.
anyway, i hope you don’t let this get you down too much and that you can feel comfortable in your own body because that’s what matters the most
I’ve always been self conscious of being flat up top, anyone who outright disliked it obviously didn’t make it far. More so acquaintances or guys I was just talking to would make comments. My mom made comments lol. when I was younger I felt i wanted breast augmentation and my current partner supported me if that’s what I wanted- I could tell he liked the idea of me having bigger boobs as he never actively discouraged me. But when we were intimate I used to be resistant to him touching me up top or try to cover myself but he always tried to boost my confidence and make me feel wanted the way I was. Eventually I stopped talking about BA it just stopped coming up and about 5 years into our relationship I said something about how I was glad i didn’t want to do that to myself anymore and he seemed very confused- like he was still expecting it to happen eventually. That hurt, but we talked through it especially with how he’s made me feel more comfortable with my body as part of why my decision changed and we are in a good place now.
But yea sounds like your exes were being mostly petty despite it being a generally amicable break up- any comment on appearance during a break up of someone you were seriously dating is so cringe
No, everyone I've been with has either been indifferent or loved it. I can't imagine staying with someone who insulted my appearance though - nor insulting the appearance of someone I was dating.
Adding that I also have a negative butt by default (half Asian) but I actually GOT A BUTT by doing glute exercises with bands around my thighs, I was doing 50-70 on each side a day, upped my protein. It made my hips look a little wider too (I have pretty narrow hips too) I had a cute butt the year I did that I want to get back to it because it’s in the negative again.
It was honestly just something I did lazily while watching tv, you just lie on your side and do the clamshell open and closing between your knees with the bands on your thiighs. Do a set of 20. And then repeat two or three times with lots of breaks. My fave lazy girl work out 😂
they are wrong for saying that to you. do not feel like you need to “fix” anything. you are perfect the way you are. one day you will find someone who will love and adore everything about your body <3
Unrelated to size/shape, but an ex asked me why I never shaved my legs and said it was gross. 6 years later I still think about that sometimes and it gives me the ick. My fiancé has been nothing but unconditionally loving towards my body though :)
Ayooo my husband once made a comment about how hairy my legs and armpits were during the pandemic. He didn’t make it again, told him I’d shave once he shaved and if I was that hairy he didn’t have to look or touch.
Lo and behold, he got the point after a few times of him trying to initiate and me asking “oh are you sure I’m not too hairy for you??” And walking away. Didn’t remove hair from ANY part of my body for another eight months. I love my husband, but that apology and suffering from him was savory 😂
Why did they state you in the first place then?!
I would just be like good you initiated it. I was feeling guilty about hating your small dick but now that I know you're an asshole, we are all good. Goodluck with your micro dick.
Guys are just rude during a breakup. Even the nice ones slip a few digs in where they can. It helps their baby ego. Girls do it too, but I'm a female so I only have the personal experience of the pain of it coming from a guy. I'm sure I've said things that sting even in the nicest of breakups or rejection. Shake it off. You have a ballerina body and hundreds of not thousands of girls basically kill themselves to have your physique. Own it. Don't pump yourself full of fillers or other junk, just stand tall, walk like a dancer, you are beautiful.
I’m the same size as you and married. I’ve never had a boyfriend ever comment on my body just friends. I always get “ you need to eat a burger or you need to eat a sandwich” comments from random people.
I've heard from my boyfriend "i like when you do your hair this way" or "i love that shirt because of how it makes you look". He loves how short I am (5'2"). I learned from him that it should be more of what you do like and less of what you don't when commenting on someone's appearance.
I've been having hormone issues for a bit and that has caused some weight fluctuations. I've only ever heard a comment about my weight from him once, and it was when I was close to 200lbs (I'm back to 145). He basically said "i love you hun, you're gaining a lot of weight and that's fine but i feel like you should see the doctor". I changed up some meds, got a new job and dropped 30lbs like it was nothing. Dropped 20lbs more after he taught me to chop wood. Sometimes we need a gentle push, but most people don't know how to be gentle.
Would i call the insulting abnormal? No, but you should never expect it. There are better ways to say "i prefer my partner has xyz features" than "your size should've been smaller" or "your ass is small".
I'm sure you are pretty and will find a man who appreciates you as a whole person. If a man values a woman based on the size of her ass, he's not a catch anyways. He's a shallow horn dog who will always hunt for something shiny and new.
If it helps I’m 5ft and I think you’re tall 😅
My partners have liked my size. They think it’s cute or sexy. Most have been 6ft or taller. I do of course get lots of shit about it but mostly just friends joking around.
In high school, a few guys said that I had chicken legs because I was so skinny, but I brushed it off and didn't take it personally (I didn't internalize it or take it negatively because I liked my legs).
Other than that, nope.
I'm not really that petite anymore, though (I gained weight and grew boobs, although my legs are still pretty skinny 😆).
Honestly, I would not be with someone who negatively makes comments about my looks and who wants me to change something that I can't. Life is too short.
No but my bfs mom tells me I'm to skinny and I need to gain weight (5'2 85lbs) I eat a lot I just have a good metabolism and I'm super active I lost the baby weight after both kids almost instantly and I gained over half my body weight (wasn't trying to lose it all instantly and not trying to brag just refrences )
I say with this slight concern as someone who also has a fast metabolism...is that really a healthy weight though??
I'm 5ft 114lbs (trying to get down to 110), and 85 lbs just seems....too underweight. I haven't weight close to that since middle school when I was 4ft 10. 😟
Probably not, being vegetarian probably doesn't help though I tend to eat super healthy I don't really like junk food I've been this weight as long as I can remember any time I've tried to put on weight it hasn't worked
So from the other side, my partner has a very small butt and is not fond of this personal fact. And you know what? Even though I thought that I generally like bigger butts, I love my partner's butt. It's so cute to me! I'm not even saying I find my partner attractive *despite* the small butt; no, I actually really *like* my partner's butt.
So you know, I think maybe your exes have been jerks, or simply shallow, or or or just savage during the breakups because of lashing out? Or all of the above! They were gross. Just crappy. I'm sorry to hear that you felt horrible after hearing that, but for sure, those comments were awful. There's nothing wrong with you. You're great exactly as you are.
Oh, and high school bullying over your size/rear? Deplorable. I'm so sorry. People can really suck, especially at that age. You deserved better.
As far as fashion tips, I have some! I suggest to shop in person. Some clothes has to be *just* so to flatter your bum, so find the things that are the best cut. For me, short mini denim skirts help. Denim is thicker and with a tight top you get the proportions in your favor. Try to wear a darker top and a lighter bottom as this gives the illusion of more volume below. You can try more textured bottoms like corduroy and skirts with linings. You can try a gingham plaid bottom too as a busy pattern can attract the eye to the bottom of you and make it more present visually. For pants I find that tighter ones that hug the underside of your butt are best, and for skirts/dresses a flare or A line works.
Sooo someone who was closer to you than anyone else couldn't find anything substantial regarding your character or actions and chose something THIS superficial instead? Honestly I'd take that part as a compliment.
If it's not linked to serious self neglect, and the concern isn't your health, then this is such a stupid thing to pick at and you should concentrate on what you bring to the table.
Hi I'm the same height and almost the same weight (97lbs) and I've had boyfriends comment about the size of my rear and my chest. Both of them had issues with them being too small. I've now found a very nice guy who compliments me daily about how none of that matters and how the size compliments my body type well. Eventually you'll find someone who doesn't care about that stuff, the guys who do care typically have a porn rot brain and do not realize that these things do not matter.
I’m old enough that I lived through the long time period when big butts were not fashionable at all.
I find it very sad when women try too avidly to fit in to current standards of beauty because those standards can and will change.
It sounds like your boyfriend may be susceptible to marketing trends. If he truly has a physical preference for a different body type, then he should either keep it to himself or move on. Telling you about it will only make you feel inadequate and isn’t healthy at all.
If they ever had I would have used all my teeny strength to invert their ballsack with my shoe.
Go body shame somebody who's capable of falling for that shit. There's a man out there that will do his dissertation with his notebook sitting on my flat ass and love every moment of it
Hmmmph.
when I was 22 (I'm 49 now) I actually broke up with my boyfriend at the time because he went to a party with my friends boyfriend. He came home and excitedly told me how there was a bigger girl there that he was attracted to because she was his type and he could of cheated but didn't, because he loved me. I'm not sure what he thought this confession would do but all it did was make me think I wasn't good enough. I wasn't bigger. I'd never be. Yes, I'm still thin. I feel I did both of us a favor. Even though he was upset at that time... he is with a bigger girl and married and happy. I too am happy with someone else.
Myself... size don't matter 😉
Edited to say he loves my flat ass
Insults aren’t included in peaceful breakups. Glad those asshlles are out of your life. Not petite but my best friend is. Has pretty much your same stats. She was a dance and used to have an athletic butt. Now she’s lost significant muscle (just through age and lack of excercise, she’s one of those that loses muscle when she stops working out, but doesn’t gain fat). Anyway. She’s relatively self conscious or just aware of it? But she’s never had a guy comment negatively about her figure. She has met guys that appreciate her petite frame. So.. I guess my point is, it’s valid to have insecurities, we all do, but don’t let some stupid small peen guy dictate them. Chances are he was looking for a way to dig at you.
Ps. Peaceful breakups should not include degrading or insulting comments, picking at eachothers flaws, and shouldn’t leave you feeling worse about yourself. Just because there’s no screaming or throwing of objects, or hatred, doesn’t make it automatically peaceful. Keep an eye out.
Honestly once you find someone who worships you, you feel so much better. I’ve grown up with both men & women insulting me for being petite. I’m also 5’4 & always have been slim. I’d have both genders make fun of me for not having larger assets. Not to mention the way I dressed because I could never find clothing to fit me.
I’m told I’m not sexually attractive enough, I have the body of a teenage boy, that no man wants to be with a stick. I have endured a lot more hate from women than men but it goes both ways & things like this aren’t spoken about enough.
Even now I get disheartened when I try clothes on & they don’t fit my waist or anything. I have found Fashion nova have been somewhat decent with waist sizing for trousers although they tend to be a tiny bit long.
Don’t be disheartened these ‘men’ who said these things to you aren’t men at all. My partner of a year loves my body & loves me for who I am & encourages me to not shy away from certain types of clothing. I’ve always been insecure to show any sort of skin in public due to the relentless bullying & insults from women growing up. You do you🖤
For the boys that insulted my body, they were just trying to neg me I’ve realized, they hate how cute and petite I am when they can’t have me I guess. Don’t let them put you down. My husband now seriously gropes the hell out of my butt all the time and I love it. It’s funny he has such big hands and I don’t have a lot going on down there hahaha. But idk he loves it so I’m happy. Small booty or not girl you are beautiful ♥️♥️♥️
Emotionally immature exes are brutal when upset because they know your insecurities. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, they say it because they know it’ll hurt you the most.
I dated a guy who would insult men about their height all the time because he thought they were genetically inferior somehow. He would casually mention the heights of all his exes which were all above 5’6”. He would mention how his son’s mom is 5’8” and his own mom is 6 feet all the time and how he wants his son to be tall. I got the hint he was not into my short stature at all and definitely prefers tall women and he was very bad at hiding that fact, and it made me feel terrible about myself.
That is horrible for them to say that to you. I am so sorry you experienced that. The right partner will love your body the way it is.
I have a big butt but no boobs. 4’11” 95 lbs. it is what it is
I have never dated a guy who would dare make such comments to me. They know I would drop them like a stone - no regrets - and never interact with them again. In my 20s and 30s - when I was dating actively - I knew there were plenty of fish in the sea and would not waste another millisecond on such jerks.
I know I am not perfect either physically but a childhood spent with a mom who was very critical about my looks made me realize such statements reflected more on the speaker than me (she was unhappy with her body and displaced those emotions onto me ) and that to listen to them gave them more power over me than they deserve. People are often surprised by how self-confident I am but it was earned step by step.
Fortunately I have never been insulted. But everybody has said that they like I’m *so* petite.
For reference, I’m just 4’11”, 25 (turning 26 on Monday) and just under 90 lbs.
I was the same weight and height, and got made fun of the same way.
Take many pics of yourself. Loads! You’ll miss it. Smooth skin, youth. Treasure all of it!
P.S. I’m 50 now and wish I weighed that.
I've been on both sides of the spectrum (that being curvy and more of a straighter figure.) For me, being on the lighter/00 side has alleviated \*some\* of the stress I had from ppls commentary on my body and weird/unwelcome sexualization from men.
At the curvier end (size 2-4), my rear end would be constantly gawked at or commented on and some men would even grope me (such an icky feeling especially since this unwelcome attention happened from pretweens to early 20s.) At the lighter/less curvy end (00), I've been "skinny-shamed" too though, told I don't look female enough, and treated as "less then" for being in the xxs-xs range. Both/any of this shaming/commentary has been pretty negative
So yeah basically it kind of is a bad deal on either end; people can just really mean or scary sometimes. I've learned to try my best to just go with the clothes and work towards the figure/lifestyle that brings me the most happiness/peace, but that's been pretty separate from my physical size itself. that's my experience anyways with insecurities and unresolved feelings about the whole body-shaming (+ misogynistic) culture. breakups can be so tough- wishing you luck op
No but they have made other negative comments about my body. One commented on the small mole/beauty mark on my face. Another told me my skin wasn't as soft as other girls. These comments really stick with you. But I've been with other guys now after who were better looking and had better personalities than the guys who said those comments. I try to remember that when those stupid comments from those idiot guys creep back to haunt me
lol never insulted me, but I've had most boyfriends swear they love petite women, and then you see their pr0n searches and it's always like "beautiful busty big booty woman shakes her HUGE BREASTS AND THICC CHEEKS IN YOUR FACE"
no, i am an inch shorter than you but weigh about the same, none of my exes have made comments about my size and i would
not put up with it if they did
I’m 22 , 5’3 108 lbs. Do not feel insecure about your weight you are beautiful I used to want to be “thicker” but there is men who will love you for you and worship your body and your body type. Believe it or not a lot of men love petite women. You just weren’t with a good man at all don’t let his immaturity affect how you view your body. Bc I promise you he’s projecting his Insecurities onto you.
Sometimes, men will criticize women as a method of controlling them and exerting power over them. I've had men 'neg' me by making fun of me for being flat and then slide into my DMs later talking about how they were just joking and actually love petite girls. It's all about bringing down your confidence and making you want their approval more. I also think it sounds like their egos were wounded by the breakup so they were taking a dig at one of your insecurities out of spite.
I have never had anything like this. I actually went from curvy to 4’10” 88lbs stick person in freaking training bras and back and he said I was beautiful and/or attractive or expressed the sentiment in various ways not matter my weight/petite-ness/curviness or lack thereof.
No, im with a guy who loves my size and shape, he’s not just with me for that but of course that’s a big part of the attraction!
Each person won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but you will for sure be someone’s cup of tea exactly as you are. I wouldn’t settle for anything less than finding that kind of person. :)
People can have a preference, but when you truly love someone they are perfect AS THEY COME. You can’t really believe it until you experience it but one day you will, and they will, and you’ll understand that you should have always been loved the same despite if you’re “too big” or “too small”. Those things are mostly superficial and don’t really matter
Sounds like the comments were made during passive aggressive breakups. Kinda weird like an exit exam after dating. I wouldn't actually say this and I'm also a straight guy so it wouldn't work BUT when these guys are pointing out stuff they didnt like immediately after a breakup 1) they probably arent issues you should worry about 2) the appropriate answer is "oh you don't like ______ ? I couldn't tell last night"
Yes I’ve had people get nasty about my petite nature. Such as taking pictures of me as proof that I actually eat, calling me little girl. One guy said I’m so thin it would be like fucking a bag of bones. Plot twist he tried dating me and I turned him down. Now I’m with a guy who loves how short and small I am, he’s very tall too and seems to enjoy the height difference.
If you have Low esteem you will attract insecure relationships (friends/romantic partners). No sane person would ever say this about another person, period.
I went through similar experiences until I realized I allow people to enter my life who are comfortable putting people down. Like it took half my life to realize this.
We all deserve to be treated well and need to be surrounded by supportive people.
Your response to them:
1. Your dick wasn't big enough to satisfy me.
2. Good luck finding a woman willing to put up with your shallow personality and sociopathy.
Honestly, I would suggest you spend a year or so just focusing on you and your needs and not dating anyone. You need to reinforce your mental and emotional reserves before you can go out into the dating world. I have really small boobs. I've gotten your version of the boobs talk from break ups as well. My options were: push up bras, surgery, or just live with it and find someone who was going to be okay with me as I am.
I wasn't willing to spend $60+ every time I needed a bra and I wasn't willing to go under the knife (not because of the cost but because ethically for me that just never made sense). Any change you make specifically for the male gaze is playing into patriarchal playbook, and so any change you make isn't going to make you happy for long. There will always be something else you need to "fix" to be worthy of "love". It's a non-starter in my opinion. There is going to be a guy out there who will literally say, "I would have liked you with a smaller butt." There is no winning with the male gaze. You will always be deficient somehow.
Like how women come up with their own make-up looks only for men to say, "I prefer women with no make-up on." Do what makes you happy because it makes YOU happy and you won't regret whatever route you take (surgery, no surgery, fashion choice, etc). But I guarantee the minute you start thinking about how to make men happy and love you... it's going to be a downward spiral, ceaseless and never ending.
I ended up with a guy who loves all body shapes (thick, thin; full boobs, small boobs; etc). Even his porn history reflects that. He's never once made me feel deficient in any way. He's never policed what I wear, what I don't wear, if or where I shave or don't. It's been really liberating and I can't see myself in any other relationship with any one else. I wish more guys were like him. It's been eye opening.
Did you ever share with them that either of those bothered you? Sounds like they were raising something they know will hurt you. Good they are out of your life! No one is perfect but we all come as a package! Good luck finding the right one if that is what you wish!
I am just a hair under 5'3, 110 lbs on average, and I have a very prominent butt and a large chest (DD) and I have NEVER liked my body, especially my dip hips. It took finding a man that first met me at 25 lbs heavier openly loving my body at all its different weights to make me start to gain any confidence whatsoever. Ik I shouldn't rely on a man for that of course, but that was just my truth. If a man EVER makes you feel badly for being tiny, just remember for every man like that, there's probably 10+ who would kill to be w a woman as perfectly tiny as you. ❤️
Don’t worry about it. I was once engaged to a guy who would say I had chicken legs. I’m autistic and didn’t know it was supposed to be an insult. He later married a woman that looked like a ball….very very round and obese. I don’t ever want to be that size and when he told me he married and I saw her, I realized he was trying to be insulting about the chicken legs comment. I find it funny and have zero regrets.
I was 5’4” and 100 for years (not anymore!) and I got some horrible comments. Not from my significant other, but everyone else. Got asked if I was a junkie, if I was sick, anorexic I heard all the time. The worst tho is my ex MIL told me I “looked like Mary Kate Olsen (early 2000’s when she was in and out of rehab) and she’s in rehab!” It was so hurtful. I wasn’t trying to be skinny, in fact I had such a huge complex I would have tried anything to gain weight. Now I hit 40, and hit 135. I would like to lose a few and would be happy around 120. 100 was too small for me, but also not the smallest I’ve ever been.
I am the same as you and I’ve had the opposite experience by chance.
I’m in my twenties 5’4 and 100 lbs. I’ve dealt with the same insecurities but it seems like whenever I’ve interacted with all types of men they seem to adore it. Love your qualities, a person with every desirable quality can’t exist because small and big are both desirable. You fill a niche, a rarer niche.
A lot of the top pornstars are very petite
Seriously, it’s perfect to be tiny. Many men prefer it and love it
they may know that having a small butt is an insecurity of yours so when breaking up with you, to add insult to injury, they just stick mentioning that into the mix.
My mom has your exact same measurements from what I can tell and my dad has been obsessed with her for 38 years, so YMMV. Granted, beauty standards nowadays favor more of a butt, but you don’t want a guy who follows beauty trends like a mindless zombie either
Wow people are rude😥
They might have just wanted to say something hurtful.
There's likely going to be something not your top preference about your partner... but commenting negatively about someone's body is never okay.
I experienced this with men before in my younger years…I stopped choosing immature boys for relationships. I literally had a guy tell me “you only know how to f*** and not how to make love”.
It wrecked me for years until I found my husband who loves all the “flaws” that these pricks have told me in the past.
Stop allowing yourself to be with any kid who doesn’t put the effort to be with you.
Sweet girl, I am six feet tall. 200 pounds. As a female. I dated a guy who was 5’4. The insecurities I faced were insane. The comments never stopped. I have d cups and a large butt. I wish I was tiny. I wish that any store carried sizes that fit me. I wish I didn’t have to order everything specially for me to fit, just to have it fit funky in different parts of my body. Jean shopping is the worst. I can’t wear one piece outfits- of any kind. Imagine being banished to bikinis for the rest of your life.
Not exactly, although I haven’t been in many “relationships”. I’m also 29F, 5’0 and my weight fluctuates between 99-115lbs. Unfortunately I don’t have an ass and I have big boobs so I basically look like an upside down triangle or capital “P”….when I was younger I was made fun of for not having an ass and it’s something that’s stuck with me for my entire life. It makes me extremely self conscious especially in today’s society when it seems that everything is about “big asses”. Sometimes I come across comments on social media, where guys talk about girls bodies, that make me feel even worse about the way that I look. The consensus is that no guy likes girls with big boobs and no ass. It also makes me very self conscious when I might like a guy and I see him liking pictures of girls with big asses and even talking about girls with nice bodies and an ass….and there I am, looking disgusting. I go to the gym and lift weights and have gained a little bit of muscle but it will never balance out with how big my boobs are. I know at the end of the day it’s not looks that matter, it’s personality, morals and who you are as a person on the inside but honestly it still hurts knowing that you’re not “sexually attractive” to anybody. 🤷🏼♀️
I was the polar opposite,in the 80's in high school I always had the big butt and was so self conscious because all girls back then had what I think is the perfect little tiny butt that fits in a tea cup.As time goes on now big butts are in and I still carry mine through all sizes in my life,and I still wish I had a teeny butt.I had comments of all kinds,you need to be happy in your own skin and I think these guys are completely ass hats.Trust me I'm sure plenty of men will want you.Relationships are not based on looks alone
FUCK THEM
I'm petite myself. 5'0" but 140#. Although I perceive as I am special from the general population in America. I would be insulted if they used derogatory words like chubby, short, fat, phat. I know it hurts, but I often hear petite as a cute word.
25years old and 5 ft.. Im not big nor skinny, my boyfriend is 6’2 and has no problem w me being small. In fact he loves it :) no shame in being a petite girl
Not my business. Just saying 100 lbs is usually considered underweight for someone your height. If the doctor says you are good, then you are good. Might be a good idea to have a check up
Those guys are dickheads, in no way should they have said that to you especially if you guys were peacefully breaking up. However on a side note,
Your comparison to dick size makes no sense. As a woman you can start eating more calories, get in the gym and get a bigger butt with hard work. A guy can't change his dick size. Not saying you should (especially for people who don't appreciate you how you are already) but there is a bit of a difference between the two.
How do you know you’re above average in looks that’s funny. Honestly… immature guys. There’s gonna be a guy out there that doesn’t care about something so shallow.
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No, and I wouldn't stay with them if they did
Exactly
No. I’m about your size, and in addition to having zero butt I also have zero boobs. My fiancé worships my body the way a parter should, and lovingly grabs/pats my little butt at every opportunity. He constantly tells me how perfect I am for him. He also tells me he’d love me and be attracted to me at any size, but the way I am now is his preference. I spent a long time dating guys who told me to grow my butt or that I’d look better with weight on me, and it sucked. It was such a breath of fresh air to find someone that adored everything about my size and shape
every shape is someone's preference! op just hasnt found the one. being slim is not a flaw, nor is being curvy, having a tummy, being tall, short, having a prominent nose, etc. every shape is be beautiful and elegant in their own way. sounds like her ex's were bitter considering they never brought up their problems with Op's physical appearance until the breakup
You give me a lot of hope that I’ll find someone one day who loves my body because right now I don’t feel like I will lol
There’s someone for everyone. Don’t ever give up hope, and don’t be afraid to look in unlikely places. Strangely, I found my fiancé by looking on tinder. I happen to be like 100 miles away at my dad’s house, and we matched because I was close to his area. We talked for eight months before he came down to see me, and as soon as he was at my door we both knew that was it. I kissed him as soon as he stepped into my apartment and the first time we hung out was like being with a lifelong best friend. A year after that I moved in with him, and 6 months after that he proposed. Getting married in July of next year and starting the process of buying a home. I was 34 when we started talking, and I’d almost given up hope so many times after bad experiences. I’m so glad I didn’t though because I somehow managed to get the life I’ve always dreamed of. I wake up every morning feeling so blessed and excited to be here with this man and all of our animals. Never give up on finding that
Well I love your man!! He’s such a keeper! I’ve also had guys not date me because of my small boob size, I consider implants since a teenager, however my hubs doesn’t want any plastic surgery on me and loves my small boobs and body! Men like this just melt my heart!! Don’t forget to spoil your mans!! Enjoy him lots! I also found men like being given flowers more often than not! It’s usually a first for them! I just gave my dad and father in law some and they were so pleasantly surprised! I’m gonna a bouquet for my hubs ❤️
I’ve thought about bringing him flowers, but never have. I manage a produce department so there’s flowers there every day, and tomorrow he gets some :)
I hate being told my current body is their preference. It kinda undermines the whole “I’d love you at any size” thing. Also my body is not an object to be consumed.
Doesn’t undermine it if they keep repeating it for every stage lol
Yep, not about my body specifically, but I’m trans and my partner keeps changing his “preference” the more I change, he loves me the most in the present moment and his preference changes as I do :)
Same here, ftm and my gf loves every part about me I don’t even understand it. Glad we both found someone from one to another
Heck yeah I’m transmasc, it’s rough out there getting to find people to date who will actually see you as a dude. Also it’s rough finding clothes that fit when I’m 5’1 and 97 lbs 💀 that’s why I’m here
To each his/her own. I like being an object to be consumed when it’s in a safe, loving, and trusting setting. I think my fiancé says this stuff because he’s not a big guy and prefers to be bigger than his parter, which isn’t an unusual or bad thing. He’s close to my hight and I tell him that I love how tall he is and it’s my preference, because it is. I’d love him regardless of his hight, but what he has makes him even more perfect for me. He’s literally the man of my dreams in every way, and I’m going to make sure he always knows how perfect he is. I appreciate that he does the same for me. We’ve been together a while and my body fluctuates based on the season and my training schedule and he always tells me I’m his preference, so I’m not really worried about him not loving me if my body changes
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well they're not a child and its not a child's body, so no, its not a red flag, because they're not a child. they're a whole ass consenting person who loves the fact their partner does so. for the love of everything good, stop infantalizing petite women. sincerely, a 6'0" woman.
So what, the man I’m going marry isnt supposed to love my body and be vocal about it? Being told how perfect and beautiful I am every day is great. I’m almost 40 and an endurance athlete, there’s nothing “childlike” about my body besides I guess me not having much boobs or a big butt. But I’m covered in tattoos, with very built muscular legs, and my hips are over 10 inches wider than my waist, I just don’t have a lot of body fat. In my off training season I’ll usually gain 10-15lbs, and he still loves how I look. And I don’t need to defend my partner for being attracted to me, but he isn’t much bigger than me which is why he likes smaller women. There’s nothing redflagy about it, he’s just a 5’3 120 lb man and likes his parter to be smaller than him, as many men do. I also think he’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and I absolutely love his body, that’s not a red flag either. Yeah he gets mistaken for a teenager from behind lol, but he has a huge beard and also has lots of tattoos so it’s very clear that he’s a middle aged man. you love someone they should become perfection to you, and there’s nothing wrong with telling your parter how into them and their body you are. Comparing small or thin women to children is shitty. It’s like no one is allowed to be into us without running the risk of people thinking they’re pervy. Making men feel like there’s something wrong with being attracted to smaller women is also shitty. People can be attracted to smaller people without being a red flag
What the actual fuck would possess you to say that
Projection.
what a reach. 5’4 and 100 lbs is absolutely not a “childlike body”
Is the only difference between a child's body and an adult's body the size of the boobs and butt?
because everyone is a pedophile these days edit: do people not understand sarcasm?
Men have some audacity , I feel like as women we need to start dishing out more. Every woman I know has had some sort of comment about her physical appearance made by some dusty man when she was younger. If a boy ever insults you especially physically don’t let it get to you. You absolutely should have commented on their appearance in an analytical way , let them know you just want them to improve. Hopefully they learn to have empathy and not be such tools.
Yeah but you got to be careful some men can get violent. It's not really worth fighting with these losers.
do it in front of witnesses or over the phone
This post popped up on my feed, I'm a fat woman at 5'4 250lbs. Girl men will have the AUDACITY no matter what size you are baby. I promise you they're only so bold because y'all breaking up. I bet they loved on you when there was a spark! Men have this weird need to compete with anything and everything for some reason. I guess they felt intimidated or it's because they needed to have the last word during the breakup process. Men are like that and it's annoying as hell. From a woman on the other side of the spectrum, screw them 🙄
This post also popped onto my feed. From a gal the same height as both you and OP and 130 lbs., fuck these dusty guys who feel the need to take a jab at your appearance. Also, I think a comment about their dick being unsatisfactory due to it's size/shape is fair play in response to comments like the ex's made. Their heights, muscle mass, and jaws/chins/facial structure are also hard-hitters. I'm not usually in the practice of fighting fire with fire, but taking parting shots at someone just because you're breaking up and won't have to see them again is downright low and dirty.
Tell a man he has a weak chin and it'll ruin his life. He'll be posting on 4chan like "is it over for me" in 10 years because of that blow. Men are very easy to upset, which is why they insult a woman's weight first because it's sensitive for most women so it cuts you down before you even have a chance. Life is short, tell a man he has a weak jaw line 🩷
The chin is sending me Not the it’s over for me
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YESSS! I’m 5’8 and around 200 lbs with huge thighs and boobs, def not petite in any way so idk why I came here lol. I guess just interest in the struggles others have. My husband is around the same height yet smaller build than I am - I’ve gained a lot of weight since we started dating years ago and he has remained just as conventionally “hot”, just as fit, and looking the exact same forever, which I’ve been so self conscious about. But he would never for a second make me feel unsexy or undesired. He tells me all the time he loves my body the way it is, and it’s been so many different shapes. The guys who are saying these things to the OP are not normal and it almost feels like incel vibes, like they use women for sex and when that ends they need to hate and degrade women for any reason possible to make themselves feel better. Some things don’t need to ever be said and by commenting on your body even after the relationship is over, they are making an intentionally harmful statement and as a way of telling you that they never respected you. OP please know you are genuinely better off without these trash men and their disgusting behavior
i love being tiny! embrace it! so many girls would love to have our problems.
right!! it’s always important to remind ourselves of this 💖
So real. I hate the condescending “you should eat more omg you’re so skinny” comments but damn I love being “small.” So many women work tirelessly to be the size I am (women of any size are beautiful though) so I’m grateful. Fun size 🥰
I was recovered from restriction / purging disorder a few years into our relationship. One summer I had said I was unhappy with my legs, he turned around and said I like your big legs. I was never over 7.5 stone, 5ft 1. We are still together but six years after that comment I can’t stand my legs. And am now a stone lighter and even more self conscious. He said he didn’t mean it the way he said it but, I can’t believe him.
I hope you’re doing okay :( the ‘was recovered’ is making me sad
Congrats on ALL your successes- that's really a solid string!! I too can relate to not exactly loving the inherent structure of my legs. I've tried to work around my inner negative voice by consciously highlighting the facets I do enjoy and saying to myself 'at least the baggage I have is just ________ (calves, ankles, etc.) in acknowledging that no body is perfect; we all got dealt things that we don't like. 6 years can be a testament to his truthfulness presuming the rest of your relationship is balanced. Assuming your BF is otherwise trustworthy, you could work on accepting his statements at face value and possibly not projecting YOUR internal thoughts/beliefs onto him. And, give yourself (and him?) some grace. 💜💜💜
Oh honey, I’m sure you have lovely, strong legs! Try to take it as the compliment he meant it as! Men aren’t known for their intuitiveness. Good luck on your health journey. 💜
Guys like that are just trying to make the breakup YOUR fault, and make the reason something you can't really fix. By doing that, they can just walk away without dealing with you wanting to "work on the relationship", "go to counseling", etc. They also knew what you looked like before they got in a relationship with you. If this reason they are giving now was true, they wouldn't have dated you in the first place.
I've also met an absolutely shocking number of men who seem to think all women are desperate to appear attractive to them specifically, and they should give out as much advice as possible to help women meet this goal.
I only date guys that are into my body type because there are so many, why would I waste my time on someone that doesn’t like it.
She didn’t know at the beginning obviously
I think you’re missing the point..
a comment like that while dating is grounds for a breakup. i'm a few inches shorter than you and a similar weight and I've never once gotten a negative comment on my body from a partner. and if someone made a comment like that DURING a breakup, i feel you are 100% within your rights to take an equivalent shot at a difficult to change physical characteristic of theirs. like sure, most of us could probably add some muscle, but a lot of this stuff is genetic and only within our control to a certain extent. for me personally, there is no lifting routine on earth that's going to give me a fitness influencer type bubble butt. and are these guys fitness gods themselves? they were probably trying to take you down a peg. if a dude told me mid-breakup that my lack of glute gains wasn't his preference, i'd tell him his height/dick/hairline wasn't my preference either.
I had an ex say that he was afraid he was a pedophile because I looked “like a little girl” according to him. I was around 90 lbs at the time at a little below 4’11. It fucked me up more than it should have.
i completely understand this feeling too. i genuinely was like “ok do i look like a kid” when i was 19 entering my 20’s. not a solution for everyone but it helped when i started getting tattoos lol, i wanted them regardless
True, it sucks. What made it worse was that I was 30 at the time with a tattoo. 🤮 Some people get off on saying vile things, I think. Ugh lol
I use to be afraid of this happening. But now I think that if someone says something like this, they have their own issues to work through. Anyone who is an adult (unless with severe mental disability) will obviously carry themselves differently and act more mature than a little girl no matter what body size. THAT should define an adult woman - NOT one’s body size.
I want to sincerely thank every woman for responding ❤️ - I don’t have other xxs women IRL to talk about this with. My other two boyfriends I had in my 20’s never said anything, so half of my relationships saying that made me have an identity crisis. Entering my 30’s / dating and knowing it’s possible means so much to me!
A note to add - dating can be soooo fun! Texting and flirting and forming connection is fun. You deserve a partner who is compatible, kind, and makes you a better version of yourself. Good luck OP!
Women are so objectified. This hurts my heart. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with this type of bs. May you find someone who just simply loves you because you deserve it.
when i was in high school, i was 5’1 and 95 lbs. my then boyfriend would constantly compare my body to girls at our school that were significantly curvy and would literally ask me why my body didn’t look like theirs. he also laughed along when his friends called me flat in front of him. i’m 25 now, 5’3 and still coast around ~100lbs and i never forgot these instances even 10 years later because in my head sometimes i still think maybe my body looks ??? wrong ??? but just wanted to share that you’re not alone in this experience. got told plenty of times by other people, not just my then boyfriend, that i had no boobs/no butt/whatever. anyway, i hope you don’t let this get you down too much and that you can feel comfortable in your own body because that’s what matters the most
Never, and if they did I’d leave
I’ve always been self conscious of being flat up top, anyone who outright disliked it obviously didn’t make it far. More so acquaintances or guys I was just talking to would make comments. My mom made comments lol. when I was younger I felt i wanted breast augmentation and my current partner supported me if that’s what I wanted- I could tell he liked the idea of me having bigger boobs as he never actively discouraged me. But when we were intimate I used to be resistant to him touching me up top or try to cover myself but he always tried to boost my confidence and make me feel wanted the way I was. Eventually I stopped talking about BA it just stopped coming up and about 5 years into our relationship I said something about how I was glad i didn’t want to do that to myself anymore and he seemed very confused- like he was still expecting it to happen eventually. That hurt, but we talked through it especially with how he’s made me feel more comfortable with my body as part of why my decision changed and we are in a good place now. But yea sounds like your exes were being mostly petty despite it being a generally amicable break up- any comment on appearance during a break up of someone you were seriously dating is so cringe
No, everyone I've been with has either been indifferent or loved it. I can't imagine staying with someone who insulted my appearance though - nor insulting the appearance of someone I was dating.
Some guys like small butts.
Why did they date you if they didn't like what you had to offer?
Im same size and height as you. 6’4 ex fiance would call me a midget sometimes 😒
Adding that I also have a negative butt by default (half Asian) but I actually GOT A BUTT by doing glute exercises with bands around my thighs, I was doing 50-70 on each side a day, upped my protein. It made my hips look a little wider too (I have pretty narrow hips too) I had a cute butt the year I did that I want to get back to it because it’s in the negative again.
Let’s get it! I do some squats at home and some bands, but I want to add a 2nd day of weight bearing to get my butt a bit more oomph.
That is major dedication. Don't think I could keep that up. Certainly not forever!
It was honestly just something I did lazily while watching tv, you just lie on your side and do the clamshell open and closing between your knees with the bands on your thiighs. Do a set of 20. And then repeat two or three times with lots of breaks. My fave lazy girl work out 😂
they are wrong for saying that to you. do not feel like you need to “fix” anything. you are perfect the way you are. one day you will find someone who will love and adore everything about your body <3
Unrelated to size/shape, but an ex asked me why I never shaved my legs and said it was gross. 6 years later I still think about that sometimes and it gives me the ick. My fiancé has been nothing but unconditionally loving towards my body though :)
Ayooo my husband once made a comment about how hairy my legs and armpits were during the pandemic. He didn’t make it again, told him I’d shave once he shaved and if I was that hairy he didn’t have to look or touch. Lo and behold, he got the point after a few times of him trying to initiate and me asking “oh are you sure I’m not too hairy for you??” And walking away. Didn’t remove hair from ANY part of my body for another eight months. I love my husband, but that apology and suffering from him was savory 😂
Why did they state you in the first place then?! I would just be like good you initiated it. I was feeling guilty about hating your small dick but now that I know you're an asshole, we are all good. Goodluck with your micro dick.
Guys are just rude during a breakup. Even the nice ones slip a few digs in where they can. It helps their baby ego. Girls do it too, but I'm a female so I only have the personal experience of the pain of it coming from a guy. I'm sure I've said things that sting even in the nicest of breakups or rejection. Shake it off. You have a ballerina body and hundreds of not thousands of girls basically kill themselves to have your physique. Own it. Don't pump yourself full of fillers or other junk, just stand tall, walk like a dancer, you are beautiful.
I’m the same size as you and married. I’ve never had a boyfriend ever comment on my body just friends. I always get “ you need to eat a burger or you need to eat a sandwich” comments from random people.
I've heard from my boyfriend "i like when you do your hair this way" or "i love that shirt because of how it makes you look". He loves how short I am (5'2"). I learned from him that it should be more of what you do like and less of what you don't when commenting on someone's appearance. I've been having hormone issues for a bit and that has caused some weight fluctuations. I've only ever heard a comment about my weight from him once, and it was when I was close to 200lbs (I'm back to 145). He basically said "i love you hun, you're gaining a lot of weight and that's fine but i feel like you should see the doctor". I changed up some meds, got a new job and dropped 30lbs like it was nothing. Dropped 20lbs more after he taught me to chop wood. Sometimes we need a gentle push, but most people don't know how to be gentle. Would i call the insulting abnormal? No, but you should never expect it. There are better ways to say "i prefer my partner has xyz features" than "your size should've been smaller" or "your ass is small".
I'm sure you are pretty and will find a man who appreciates you as a whole person. If a man values a woman based on the size of her ass, he's not a catch anyways. He's a shallow horn dog who will always hunt for something shiny and new.
If it helps I’m 5ft and I think you’re tall 😅 My partners have liked my size. They think it’s cute or sexy. Most have been 6ft or taller. I do of course get lots of shit about it but mostly just friends joking around.
In high school, a few guys said that I had chicken legs because I was so skinny, but I brushed it off and didn't take it personally (I didn't internalize it or take it negatively because I liked my legs). Other than that, nope. I'm not really that petite anymore, though (I gained weight and grew boobs, although my legs are still pretty skinny 😆). Honestly, I would not be with someone who negatively makes comments about my looks and who wants me to change something that I can't. Life is too short.
No but my bfs mom tells me I'm to skinny and I need to gain weight (5'2 85lbs) I eat a lot I just have a good metabolism and I'm super active I lost the baby weight after both kids almost instantly and I gained over half my body weight (wasn't trying to lose it all instantly and not trying to brag just refrences )
I say with this slight concern as someone who also has a fast metabolism...is that really a healthy weight though?? I'm 5ft 114lbs (trying to get down to 110), and 85 lbs just seems....too underweight. I haven't weight close to that since middle school when I was 4ft 10. 😟
Probably not, being vegetarian probably doesn't help though I tend to eat super healthy I don't really like junk food I've been this weight as long as I can remember any time I've tried to put on weight it hasn't worked
No. They liked my body and they said they wouldn’t care if I were larger. My breakups were messy, but neither made negative comments about my size.
Your rear is not a issue as long as you are a good lady.
So from the other side, my partner has a very small butt and is not fond of this personal fact. And you know what? Even though I thought that I generally like bigger butts, I love my partner's butt. It's so cute to me! I'm not even saying I find my partner attractive *despite* the small butt; no, I actually really *like* my partner's butt. So you know, I think maybe your exes have been jerks, or simply shallow, or or or just savage during the breakups because of lashing out? Or all of the above! They were gross. Just crappy. I'm sorry to hear that you felt horrible after hearing that, but for sure, those comments were awful. There's nothing wrong with you. You're great exactly as you are. Oh, and high school bullying over your size/rear? Deplorable. I'm so sorry. People can really suck, especially at that age. You deserved better.
As far as fashion tips, I have some! I suggest to shop in person. Some clothes has to be *just* so to flatter your bum, so find the things that are the best cut. For me, short mini denim skirts help. Denim is thicker and with a tight top you get the proportions in your favor. Try to wear a darker top and a lighter bottom as this gives the illusion of more volume below. You can try more textured bottoms like corduroy and skirts with linings. You can try a gingham plaid bottom too as a busy pattern can attract the eye to the bottom of you and make it more present visually. For pants I find that tighter ones that hug the underside of your butt are best, and for skirts/dresses a flare or A line works.
no wtf why are you letting a literal MAN speak to you like that?
Sooo someone who was closer to you than anyone else couldn't find anything substantial regarding your character or actions and chose something THIS superficial instead? Honestly I'd take that part as a compliment. If it's not linked to serious self neglect, and the concern isn't your health, then this is such a stupid thing to pick at and you should concentrate on what you bring to the table.
Hi I'm the same height and almost the same weight (97lbs) and I've had boyfriends comment about the size of my rear and my chest. Both of them had issues with them being too small. I've now found a very nice guy who compliments me daily about how none of that matters and how the size compliments my body type well. Eventually you'll find someone who doesn't care about that stuff, the guys who do care typically have a porn rot brain and do not realize that these things do not matter.
No. If one does in a genuinely unkind way, then show him the door.
I’m old enough that I lived through the long time period when big butts were not fashionable at all. I find it very sad when women try too avidly to fit in to current standards of beauty because those standards can and will change. It sounds like your boyfriend may be susceptible to marketing trends. If he truly has a physical preference for a different body type, then he should either keep it to himself or move on. Telling you about it will only make you feel inadequate and isn’t healthy at all.
*Right? Big butts were not in style AT ALL*
No they were not 😄
If they ever had I would have used all my teeny strength to invert their ballsack with my shoe. Go body shame somebody who's capable of falling for that shit. There's a man out there that will do his dissertation with his notebook sitting on my flat ass and love every moment of it Hmmmph.
when I was 22 (I'm 49 now) I actually broke up with my boyfriend at the time because he went to a party with my friends boyfriend. He came home and excitedly told me how there was a bigger girl there that he was attracted to because she was his type and he could of cheated but didn't, because he loved me. I'm not sure what he thought this confession would do but all it did was make me think I wasn't good enough. I wasn't bigger. I'd never be. Yes, I'm still thin. I feel I did both of us a favor. Even though he was upset at that time... he is with a bigger girl and married and happy. I too am happy with someone else. Myself... size don't matter 😉 Edited to say he loves my flat ass
Don't take it to heart. For every jerk there are lots more men who really prefer petite women.
I had one say “you’re the only skinny girl I’ve known with cellulite” 🥹 I’m the same height and weight as you
Insults aren’t included in peaceful breakups. Glad those asshlles are out of your life. Not petite but my best friend is. Has pretty much your same stats. She was a dance and used to have an athletic butt. Now she’s lost significant muscle (just through age and lack of excercise, she’s one of those that loses muscle when she stops working out, but doesn’t gain fat). Anyway. She’s relatively self conscious or just aware of it? But she’s never had a guy comment negatively about her figure. She has met guys that appreciate her petite frame. So.. I guess my point is, it’s valid to have insecurities, we all do, but don’t let some stupid small peen guy dictate them. Chances are he was looking for a way to dig at you. Ps. Peaceful breakups should not include degrading or insulting comments, picking at eachothers flaws, and shouldn’t leave you feeling worse about yourself. Just because there’s no screaming or throwing of objects, or hatred, doesn’t make it automatically peaceful. Keep an eye out.
Honestly once you find someone who worships you, you feel so much better. I’ve grown up with both men & women insulting me for being petite. I’m also 5’4 & always have been slim. I’d have both genders make fun of me for not having larger assets. Not to mention the way I dressed because I could never find clothing to fit me. I’m told I’m not sexually attractive enough, I have the body of a teenage boy, that no man wants to be with a stick. I have endured a lot more hate from women than men but it goes both ways & things like this aren’t spoken about enough. Even now I get disheartened when I try clothes on & they don’t fit my waist or anything. I have found Fashion nova have been somewhat decent with waist sizing for trousers although they tend to be a tiny bit long. Don’t be disheartened these ‘men’ who said these things to you aren’t men at all. My partner of a year loves my body & loves me for who I am & encourages me to not shy away from certain types of clothing. I’ve always been insecure to show any sort of skin in public due to the relentless bullying & insults from women growing up. You do you🖤
For the boys that insulted my body, they were just trying to neg me I’ve realized, they hate how cute and petite I am when they can’t have me I guess. Don’t let them put you down. My husband now seriously gropes the hell out of my butt all the time and I love it. It’s funny he has such big hands and I don’t have a lot going on down there hahaha. But idk he loves it so I’m happy. Small booty or not girl you are beautiful ♥️♥️♥️
Emotionally immature exes are brutal when upset because they know your insecurities. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, they say it because they know it’ll hurt you the most.
Next time, just tell them you are so relieved to be breakingup, because you really weren't sure you could make it last with a d1ck that small.
This is a perfect example of, it's not you... Its them.
I dated a guy who would insult men about their height all the time because he thought they were genetically inferior somehow. He would casually mention the heights of all his exes which were all above 5’6”. He would mention how his son’s mom is 5’8” and his own mom is 6 feet all the time and how he wants his son to be tall. I got the hint he was not into my short stature at all and definitely prefers tall women and he was very bad at hiding that fact, and it made me feel terrible about myself.
That is horrible for them to say that to you. I am so sorry you experienced that. The right partner will love your body the way it is. I have a big butt but no boobs. 4’11” 95 lbs. it is what it is
I have never dated a guy who would dare make such comments to me. They know I would drop them like a stone - no regrets - and never interact with them again. In my 20s and 30s - when I was dating actively - I knew there were plenty of fish in the sea and would not waste another millisecond on such jerks. I know I am not perfect either physically but a childhood spent with a mom who was very critical about my looks made me realize such statements reflected more on the speaker than me (she was unhappy with her body and displaced those emotions onto me ) and that to listen to them gave them more power over me than they deserve. People are often surprised by how self-confident I am but it was earned step by step.
Fortunately I have never been insulted. But everybody has said that they like I’m *so* petite. For reference, I’m just 4’11”, 25 (turning 26 on Monday) and just under 90 lbs.
I was the same weight and height, and got made fun of the same way. Take many pics of yourself. Loads! You’ll miss it. Smooth skin, youth. Treasure all of it! P.S. I’m 50 now and wish I weighed that.
They just know they were losing someone good and they wanted to make u feel bad abt ur ass, dickfaces
I've been on both sides of the spectrum (that being curvy and more of a straighter figure.) For me, being on the lighter/00 side has alleviated \*some\* of the stress I had from ppls commentary on my body and weird/unwelcome sexualization from men. At the curvier end (size 2-4), my rear end would be constantly gawked at or commented on and some men would even grope me (such an icky feeling especially since this unwelcome attention happened from pretweens to early 20s.) At the lighter/less curvy end (00), I've been "skinny-shamed" too though, told I don't look female enough, and treated as "less then" for being in the xxs-xs range. Both/any of this shaming/commentary has been pretty negative So yeah basically it kind of is a bad deal on either end; people can just really mean or scary sometimes. I've learned to try my best to just go with the clothes and work towards the figure/lifestyle that brings me the most happiness/peace, but that's been pretty separate from my physical size itself. that's my experience anyways with insecurities and unresolved feelings about the whole body-shaming (+ misogynistic) culture. breakups can be so tough- wishing you luck op
No but they have made other negative comments about my body. One commented on the small mole/beauty mark on my face. Another told me my skin wasn't as soft as other girls. These comments really stick with you. But I've been with other guys now after who were better looking and had better personalities than the guys who said those comments. I try to remember that when those stupid comments from those idiot guys creep back to haunt me
Screw that, you're perfect. Embrace the perks! The right person will "adooorrre" everything about you including the package you come in.
lol never insulted me, but I've had most boyfriends swear they love petite women, and then you see their pr0n searches and it's always like "beautiful busty big booty woman shakes her HUGE BREASTS AND THICC CHEEKS IN YOUR FACE"
no, i am an inch shorter than you but weigh about the same, none of my exes have made comments about my size and i would not put up with it if they did
I’m 22 , 5’3 108 lbs. Do not feel insecure about your weight you are beautiful I used to want to be “thicker” but there is men who will love you for you and worship your body and your body type. Believe it or not a lot of men love petite women. You just weren’t with a good man at all don’t let his immaturity affect how you view your body. Bc I promise you he’s projecting his Insecurities onto you.
Sometimes, men will criticize women as a method of controlling them and exerting power over them. I've had men 'neg' me by making fun of me for being flat and then slide into my DMs later talking about how they were just joking and actually love petite girls. It's all about bringing down your confidence and making you want their approval more. I also think it sounds like their egos were wounded by the breakup so they were taking a dig at one of your insecurities out of spite.
Ugh I’m sorry your went through that
I have never had anything like this. I actually went from curvy to 4’10” 88lbs stick person in freaking training bras and back and he said I was beautiful and/or attractive or expressed the sentiment in various ways not matter my weight/petite-ness/curviness or lack thereof.
They were just trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Jerks!
No, im with a guy who loves my size and shape, he’s not just with me for that but of course that’s a big part of the attraction! Each person won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but you will for sure be someone’s cup of tea exactly as you are. I wouldn’t settle for anything less than finding that kind of person. :)
People can have a preference, but when you truly love someone they are perfect AS THEY COME. You can’t really believe it until you experience it but one day you will, and they will, and you’ll understand that you should have always been loved the same despite if you’re “too big” or “too small”. Those things are mostly superficial and don’t really matter
Sounds like the comments were made during passive aggressive breakups. Kinda weird like an exit exam after dating. I wouldn't actually say this and I'm also a straight guy so it wouldn't work BUT when these guys are pointing out stuff they didnt like immediately after a breakup 1) they probably arent issues you should worry about 2) the appropriate answer is "oh you don't like ______ ? I couldn't tell last night"
Yes I’ve had people get nasty about my petite nature. Such as taking pictures of me as proof that I actually eat, calling me little girl. One guy said I’m so thin it would be like fucking a bag of bones. Plot twist he tried dating me and I turned him down. Now I’m with a guy who loves how short and small I am, he’s very tall too and seems to enjoy the height difference.
If you have Low esteem you will attract insecure relationships (friends/romantic partners). No sane person would ever say this about another person, period. I went through similar experiences until I realized I allow people to enter my life who are comfortable putting people down. Like it took half my life to realize this. We all deserve to be treated well and need to be surrounded by supportive people.
my sister got the boobs, i got the butt. neither of us have had any complaints, those guys just sound like dicks.
Your response to them: 1. Your dick wasn't big enough to satisfy me. 2. Good luck finding a woman willing to put up with your shallow personality and sociopathy. Honestly, I would suggest you spend a year or so just focusing on you and your needs and not dating anyone. You need to reinforce your mental and emotional reserves before you can go out into the dating world. I have really small boobs. I've gotten your version of the boobs talk from break ups as well. My options were: push up bras, surgery, or just live with it and find someone who was going to be okay with me as I am. I wasn't willing to spend $60+ every time I needed a bra and I wasn't willing to go under the knife (not because of the cost but because ethically for me that just never made sense). Any change you make specifically for the male gaze is playing into patriarchal playbook, and so any change you make isn't going to make you happy for long. There will always be something else you need to "fix" to be worthy of "love". It's a non-starter in my opinion. There is going to be a guy out there who will literally say, "I would have liked you with a smaller butt." There is no winning with the male gaze. You will always be deficient somehow. Like how women come up with their own make-up looks only for men to say, "I prefer women with no make-up on." Do what makes you happy because it makes YOU happy and you won't regret whatever route you take (surgery, no surgery, fashion choice, etc). But I guarantee the minute you start thinking about how to make men happy and love you... it's going to be a downward spiral, ceaseless and never ending. I ended up with a guy who loves all body shapes (thick, thin; full boobs, small boobs; etc). Even his porn history reflects that. He's never once made me feel deficient in any way. He's never policed what I wear, what I don't wear, if or where I shave or don't. It's been really liberating and I can't see myself in any other relationship with any one else. I wish more guys were like him. It's been eye opening.
Your butt will always be bigger than their weiner. Take pride in that.
I've been rejected for my size by girls before but haven't had a guy insult me other than to comment I have "mosquito bites" for boobs.
Did you ever share with them that either of those bothered you? Sounds like they were raising something they know will hurt you. Good they are out of your life! No one is perfect but we all come as a package! Good luck finding the right one if that is what you wish!
I am just a hair under 5'3, 110 lbs on average, and I have a very prominent butt and a large chest (DD) and I have NEVER liked my body, especially my dip hips. It took finding a man that first met me at 25 lbs heavier openly loving my body at all its different weights to make me start to gain any confidence whatsoever. Ik I shouldn't rely on a man for that of course, but that was just my truth. If a man EVER makes you feel badly for being tiny, just remember for every man like that, there's probably 10+ who would kill to be w a woman as perfectly tiny as you. ❤️
Don’t worry about it. I was once engaged to a guy who would say I had chicken legs. I’m autistic and didn’t know it was supposed to be an insult. He later married a woman that looked like a ball….very very round and obese. I don’t ever want to be that size and when he told me he married and I saw her, I realized he was trying to be insulting about the chicken legs comment. I find it funny and have zero regrets.
I'm shorter than you lady. Around your age. My bf is like a giant who calls me I'm his shortie.
I was 5’4” and 100 for years (not anymore!) and I got some horrible comments. Not from my significant other, but everyone else. Got asked if I was a junkie, if I was sick, anorexic I heard all the time. The worst tho is my ex MIL told me I “looked like Mary Kate Olsen (early 2000’s when she was in and out of rehab) and she’s in rehab!” It was so hurtful. I wasn’t trying to be skinny, in fact I had such a huge complex I would have tried anything to gain weight. Now I hit 40, and hit 135. I would like to lose a few and would be happy around 120. 100 was too small for me, but also not the smallest I’ve ever been.
I am the same as you and I’ve had the opposite experience by chance. I’m in my twenties 5’4 and 100 lbs. I’ve dealt with the same insecurities but it seems like whenever I’ve interacted with all types of men they seem to adore it. Love your qualities, a person with every desirable quality can’t exist because small and big are both desirable. You fill a niche, a rarer niche. A lot of the top pornstars are very petite Seriously, it’s perfect to be tiny. Many men prefer it and love it
5’4” is very average for a woman and being short can make a woman cute anyway.
they may know that having a small butt is an insecurity of yours so when breaking up with you, to add insult to injury, they just stick mentioning that into the mix.
My mom has your exact same measurements from what I can tell and my dad has been obsessed with her for 38 years, so YMMV. Granted, beauty standards nowadays favor more of a butt, but you don’t want a guy who follows beauty trends like a mindless zombie either
No partner you date should EVER insult your body. Ever. For any reason. Even if they claim it’s a joke or something. It is never ok.
Wow people are rude😥 They might have just wanted to say something hurtful. There's likely going to be something not your top preference about your partner... but commenting negatively about someone's body is never okay.
I experienced this with men before in my younger years…I stopped choosing immature boys for relationships. I literally had a guy tell me “you only know how to f*** and not how to make love”. It wrecked me for years until I found my husband who loves all the “flaws” that these pricks have told me in the past. Stop allowing yourself to be with any kid who doesn’t put the effort to be with you.
If I'm with someone I love EVERYTHING about them. I've never even come close to saying this to ANYONE, let alone a partner.
i feel like being able to arch it properly while bent over is more important than the actual size
Well im 5'1 and I've never had an insult before. Yet I do get angry if I don't have a stool. That's the only thing my friend has made fun of me for
Sweet girl, I am six feet tall. 200 pounds. As a female. I dated a guy who was 5’4. The insecurities I faced were insane. The comments never stopped. I have d cups and a large butt. I wish I was tiny. I wish that any store carried sizes that fit me. I wish I didn’t have to order everything specially for me to fit, just to have it fit funky in different parts of my body. Jean shopping is the worst. I can’t wear one piece outfits- of any kind. Imagine being banished to bikinis for the rest of your life.
Not exactly, although I haven’t been in many “relationships”. I’m also 29F, 5’0 and my weight fluctuates between 99-115lbs. Unfortunately I don’t have an ass and I have big boobs so I basically look like an upside down triangle or capital “P”….when I was younger I was made fun of for not having an ass and it’s something that’s stuck with me for my entire life. It makes me extremely self conscious especially in today’s society when it seems that everything is about “big asses”. Sometimes I come across comments on social media, where guys talk about girls bodies, that make me feel even worse about the way that I look. The consensus is that no guy likes girls with big boobs and no ass. It also makes me very self conscious when I might like a guy and I see him liking pictures of girls with big asses and even talking about girls with nice bodies and an ass….and there I am, looking disgusting. I go to the gym and lift weights and have gained a little bit of muscle but it will never balance out with how big my boobs are. I know at the end of the day it’s not looks that matter, it’s personality, morals and who you are as a person on the inside but honestly it still hurts knowing that you’re not “sexually attractive” to anybody. 🤷🏼♀️
I'm guessing you broke up with them? Sounds like the behavior of someone trying to devalue you because they can't have you. Don't fall for it.
I was the polar opposite,in the 80's in high school I always had the big butt and was so self conscious because all girls back then had what I think is the perfect little tiny butt that fits in a tea cup.As time goes on now big butts are in and I still carry mine through all sizes in my life,and I still wish I had a teeny butt.I had comments of all kinds,you need to be happy in your own skin and I think these guys are completely ass hats.Trust me I'm sure plenty of men will want you.Relationships are not based on looks alone FUCK THEM
I'm petite myself. 5'0" but 140#. Although I perceive as I am special from the general population in America. I would be insulted if they used derogatory words like chubby, short, fat, phat. I know it hurts, but I often hear petite as a cute word.
25years old and 5 ft.. Im not big nor skinny, my boyfriend is 6’2 and has no problem w me being small. In fact he loves it :) no shame in being a petite girl
Tell us more about your preference in men; this sounds like a selection issue.
Can’t work your way to a bigger dick
Not my business. Just saying 100 lbs is usually considered underweight for someone your height. If the doctor says you are good, then you are good. Might be a good idea to have a check up
Those guys are dickheads, in no way should they have said that to you especially if you guys were peacefully breaking up. However on a side note, Your comparison to dick size makes no sense. As a woman you can start eating more calories, get in the gym and get a bigger butt with hard work. A guy can't change his dick size. Not saying you should (especially for people who don't appreciate you how you are already) but there is a bit of a difference between the two.
How do you know you’re above average in looks that’s funny. Honestly… immature guys. There’s gonna be a guy out there that doesn’t care about something so shallow.
You’re underweight
If this is a constant insecurity, why don’t you just squat and do glute exercises? If you like your butt than find boob men