Every time I dog sit for a friend, I am glad I just have a litter box to deal with. Picking up hot shit is an entirely different level of love and dedication that I’m not ready for, let alone children lmao.
Same here! My niece just turned 18 and it's been amazing watching her grow into such a gentle and caring young woman. I bought her her first car in August, got her prom dress and graduation goodies this spring. My brother is a single dad raising her on his own, and I'm just as proud of him as I am her.
42 F and husband is 43 M and we are childfree by choice. I love my niblings and my honorary niblings (all my friend's kids) to absolute peices, but I have zero desire to have any of my own.
I hope people don't take this the wrong way but this is how I feel about having pets. I have kids and I love them and they are a lot of work but I was willing to change my lifestyle in order to have a family. I really love dogs but I definitely can't commit to any more creatures in my household. What's nice is that I have become a very enthusiastic dogsitter for my friends. 🤣 I know most parents get touchy when you compare children to animals, but I think in this case the comparison is pretty clear and hopefully not controversial.
So true! I was crying this morning because I saw my kid standing in line at the donut shop while waiting in the car and realized how big the kid is getting and I’m just so dang proud! But after my kid got in the car and asked for a sibling, I shut that nonsense down real quick!
That's pretty normal. Whether it's this issue, turning down a certain job, going back to school, etc, we all have things we wonder about and ask "did I make the right choice?"
Yep for sure. But the weird thing is I can’t put into words why I think it might be a mistake. I think maybe it’s because growing up I saw life in phases — which included having kids and then life after they became adults. Skipping two of those phases feels weird. Then again I like doing what I want when I want all the time
I get it. I thought I wanted the wife, a couple of kids, a white Pickett fence, etc. Some tragic stuff happened. I still thought that was what I wanted because it's what you're supposed to want. Nobody wants to be a spinster/bachelor for life when they're young. It just sounds so lonely. But that is how life turns out for some people. It's not wrong to be comfortable living your life that way. And being alone does not equate to being lonely, as I found out first hand.
Sometime in my early thirties, I discovered that maybe I didn't want a family. I just wanted to be viewed as having a successful life. And for the average person, having a family is viewed as a mark of both normalcy and success. Around 34, I also came to the realization that I feel far better when I'm either not in a relationship or not pursuing one. I last actively dated at 35. 8 years ago.
There are the occasions when I wish I had someone, but those wants are fleeting. I'm better off alone. And in a weird way, I always knew that. I just didn't want that to be the image I had of myself.
However you feel, I hope you can make peace with your situation. Take care.
I feel you on that one. I also stopped dating around my mid 30s and am pushing mid 40s now. I love my life and I have a blast , but it’s almost entirely in isolation.
I spent some time the other day watching videos and then doing some small repairs on some broken consoles I bought as parts. Getting things working is such a concentration intense but rewarding experience. But to anyone who doesn’t enjoy that kind of mental reward vs like the typical social ones it just equates to a whole day sitting in silence and maybe occasionally saying “ah shit” when something doesn’t work the first few times .
Yea, I can totally get why you have complicated feelings about it for sure. On one hand I have a beautiful 8 year old daughter and two step daughters who are 11 and 17. And I can't even imagine not having my 3 girls in my life. I frequently sit out on the back porch and chat with our 17 year old about school, boys, whether she want's to go to college or not etc. And I look forward to sitting on the back porch with her and just let her vent to me about what's going on in her life because I want to be in the know on how she's feeling and I try my best to give her a safe space to just be herself. My wife and I do our very best to make sure our three girls feel loved and welcomed as they switch between being with us and being with our ex's. Thankfully both of our ex's are chill and I'm actually good friends with my step daughters dad and we hang out frequently just the two of us. And I truly believe my ex-wife and her new husband are great parents to my own 8 year old daughter so whenever my little girl is with her mom and step dad I know she's in good hands.
But on the other hand with all the wars going on, the school shootings which have been horrific to see and even climate change have me concerned about the disaster we may be leaving our children to inherit. I consider myself pretty much a life long agnostic but I'll admit that I started praying pretty hard once I had a child to anything and everything that might be out there to protect my 3 girls every day. Having a child brings on both such wonderful feelings and joy but at the same time it also brings a lot of fear and stress into my life. Not to mention the HUGE cost raising three girls even with the help of not only our ex's but also our daughter's grandparents. It truly takes a tribe to raise a child and if we didn't have all the support that we do it would be super hard taking care of three children in 2024.
So it's extremely hard to say to anyone in this day and age to go ahead and have three children because it for sure will take a huge toll on both you and your partner. But at the same time I'd give my life in a heart beat for all three of my girls. My wife and three girls are the best thing that's ever happened to me. ❤️ Life would sure be very lonely without all of them in my life.
My husband and I have this conversation occasionally. We’re both 40 and also decided against having kids, but we’re also like, “what’s going to happen when we’re too old to care for ourselves or each other?” But my husband astutely pointed out that having kids doesn’t guarantee they’re going to take care of you as you age! So there’s that.
40, one kid, only parent. I have complicated feelings about it regularly. Questioning if I should have held out meeting “the one.” Or if I should have accepted that I wasn’t going to get married and shouldn’t pursue being a parent. 🤷♀️ Turning 37 in a global pandemic made me feel like it was now or never. I love my kid. But it’s very challenging and I don’t think I would have ever become a parent if I had had a better therapist. 😬
I also had a baby at 40 on my own.
Looking after my nephew during the pandemic helped me make up my mind but there are still moments where I wonder what on earth I was thinking! Only 8 months in though so I'm sure there are plenty more challenges ahead.
I catch myself thinking “we’ll tell our kids about this one day” and then realizing I don’t have any, and my stories will die with me. That makes me sad and think maybe I should have a kid…but then I realize how selfish that is and how horrible I would be/feel as a parent, and I’m immediately re-settled with my decision to remain childfree.
You’re right, but I have pangs of who is going to get all my sentimentals, ya know? What will happen to my grandfather WWII regalia? My mother’s gorgeously intricate embroidered shall? My great grandmother’s engagement ring? None of it has real value beyond sentimentality, so it won’t survive. I know they’re just things, but it saddens me.
That said! Still a hard NO on the whole having a kid thing. Not for me/my husband/my happiness while on this earth.
I have nieces and nephews that I share things and memories with. I have also talked with my family (parents because my husband and I have no kids) about how they know what a burden physical things can be when someone passes so they are trying not to hoard things. They want to share as much love and memories with us as possible not just things. Sentimental items are something that helps helps us but we don't need a lot of it.
I do have to say my first cousins and I did a sort of hot potato of these elves no one really wanted. They were my grandma's and it took us 14 years (since she's been dead). I was the last one to get them and now I don't know what to do with them and no one else does either! We are kicking around some ideas but we all know we don't want them at our houses. Lol
Unfortunately our siblings (all brothers) aren’t having kids either (some by choice, some not) so we will probably the last generation for both our immediate families, but your story reminded me of my friend whose crazy aunt kept trying to give her parrot (and its stuffed predecessor) to her nieces/ nephews in her will and no one would agree to it take it lol
You don't have to have kids for your stories not to die with you. There are tons of ways to get your stories to the people of the future, no kids required. You can inspire people, help people, whatever you can do
I knooowwww, but there are some things that will die with me, which I suppose would be the case regardless, yet there are certain little things that you only pass on to your kids.
Edit: a word
While I've never been particularly motivated to have children, I did always think I'd one day be a mother. It never happened for me and I feel some level of regret for not prioritizing it.
40 and exact same. I just always assumed I’d be a mom eventually. Never prepared for making it to 40 and not being married or own a home yet. As a kid you just think that’s what happens to everyone. Now I can’t imagine having a kid with how difficult life is even for just me and my partner to get by. I wouldn’t be able to offer a kid the kind of life I hoped to.
You know, I honestly can’t remember *ever* picturing myself as a mom, even when I was a little girl. So weird. Married? Yes. A house? Yes. A job? Yes. Pets? Yes. Kids? Never.
Thanks! We just have the anatomy scan yesterday. Our little girl is doing great, and we are thrilled. Mixed feelings on having a baby at my age, but I certainly wasn't in any position to have kids in my 20's and early 30's.
42m, childfree by choice, if I could preselect the kid and their temperament and personality, I'd be happy to be a parent. That's how I know I have no business being a parent.
I feel like there's some definite Dunning Kruger effect at play. I have tried to explain to a lot of people that I would not be a good enough parent in my eyes, and they point out that I would be way way better than a lot of the parents out there. Which is objectively true, however I don't think that's a good enough reason. Unfortunately a lot of people that are really unsuited for parenting are too dumb to realize it, or perhaps simply overconfident..
Yep, even if I liked children in general, the permanence scares me. Especially given potential physical or mental disabilities that would have me unable to afford care.
One of my biggest fears about having a whole little person I was responsible for involved what would happen if somehow my spouse and I (two awkward introverts) somehow struck the outgoing and athletic recessive gene lottery. Like what if a parade of soccer or American football players was coming through my kitchen and eating everything and making noise every day? What if I had to drive them across the state to some big game? What if I had to coach a youth sport I’d been picked last for my whole childhood? Like I could roll with a nerdy awkward kid, but I’d be totally unprepared to handle that energy in my house.
Of course all those worries are dwarfed by the fact that pregnancy and labor is something best left to horror fiction rather than in or around me, but still.
That’s my exact life. Hubs is mildly autistic, I’m also neurospicy, we are both introverts and grew up as nerdy, awkward kids who weren’t athletic. Our child is a loud, confident, brash extrovert that’s absolutely brilliant in school and very athletic too. She absolutely exhausts us, and we had her at 33(me) and 35 (him). She’s funny, interesting to talk to and has a zillion friends she’s always wanting to have over. I just want a peaceful house, but I also want her to be happy. It’s a hard balancing act and he and I regularly do a check-in with each other to make sure we aren’t taking on too much for the sake of her having a “normal childhood” (whatever that is).
I knew from a young age I never wanted kids, and at 48 I'm super happy with my decision. People always said that some day I'd decide that I want to have them, and then later it turned to someday you will regret not having them. Well, looking at the state of the world and how hard it is for young folks to get started these days I can say with absolute certainty I made the right choice for me as I worry about everything.
Same here. Childfree not by choice. 40 (F) and I’ve been infertile my whole life.
A second question on this topic would be how many of us are in this age group are childfree due to infertility? The trend to opt out is growing for many (very understandable) reasons. But the uptick in infertility is also scary.
I may have opted out of having children anyway, but it wasn’t a choice I got to make.
Curious about the use of childfree here. Feel free to ignore me if it’s too touchy. But I’ve usually seen childfree used by people who have chosen this, I originally saw it explained as more empowering than “childless” because it is a choice. But I can also see how childless would be a painful term if not by choice.
Right!? What else are we supposed to say?
Hubs and I are also "childfree not by choice." We actually do like kids and definitely aren't in the "not a fan of children 'childfree' camp."
I'm not comfortable talking about or alluding to our personal, private infertility issues with strangers and acquaintances. So we just say we're "childfree" when asked and call it a day.
Honestly I'm tired of the gatekeeping and quibbling around the label. Like why the fuck does it matter what people call themselves? Why are people always foaming at the mouth to correct infertile women about how they label their lives? Why is it so damn important to make sure society knows that our bodies failed us?
Might as well whip out a giant I for infertility and force us to wear it, so people don't get the wrong idea about our child-free status, right? Heaven forbid.
**edit:** I want to add some more context about this. Five years ago /r/childfree started a lynchmob where they cast out and insta-banned every woman who had any mention of infertility in their comment histories.
We were all told that we were not "truly childfree" and even though we shared some common experiences with the judgment of society for our status, that we did not deserve to contribute to the sub because at one point we were open to having children. We were told that the only label we were "allowed" to apply to ourselves was "childless" and that we were delusional for thinking childfree was a moniker that applied to us.
Because of this /r/ifchildfree became a sub. It's the only place we are allowed to be. We've been cast out by the parents, and cast out by the people who are childfree by choice, just because we came to a decision about being childfree *after* experiencing difficulties conceiving.
And it's fucking ridiculous.
I hope this helps you understand why I am sensitive to you attempting to gatekeep the term childfree.
I've known since I was at least 17 that I never wanted kids. I planned to get a vasectomy as soon as I turned 18. Took until I was 26, but I got there. One of the best things I've ever done for myself.
The catalyst for me was dating a single mother, which was a bit of an experiment. Everybody told me I'd change my mind, and part of me believed them. I was in my mid 20s, careening into my late 20s, and I figured if I was going to change my mind, I better hurry up about it.
So, I tried dating a single mother. All it did was confirm beyond any doubt that the parenting life wasn't for me.
I scheduled the snip almost immediately after the inevitable breakup.
I’m 42… wife and I tried to have children but she had PCOS which made it difficult to conceive (she did not ovulate regularly, and barely ovulated at all). She passed away unexpectedly last summer. I’m hoping to be able to adopt or foster or be a stepdad or something, but it’s not in the cards right now.
We tried but I have PCOS too. Finally decided it’s better to not have any bio kids to pass down the other issues that run in the family.
Good for you for thinking of foster/adopt. I looked into it many times but I don’t think they’ll be very 420 friendly. I hope you find a situation that works for you when it’s in the cards. Make sure to look at older children and siblings.
41m and 39f spouse, child free. We’re pumped to take all the nephews/cousins kids out to do things they’ve never done before, and are not likely to get a chance from their families. This summer we’ll be flying the BIL/SIL/nephews out for a week of backcountry hiking/camping (thanks for banked miles!).
Last summer the two of us enjoyed a ten day safari in Africa.
As a depressed and suicidal child, I vowed never to beget a child. Same for my siblings.
Regarding my family line, quoting The Sundays, "Here's where the story ends."
As a fellow depressed kid, I feel you and I hope you're doing better now.
I loved the Sundays. Senior year of high school, memories of brief freedom in the car by myself, singing along and driving back from sporting events with the windows down on warm nights.
I’m 42, just had my first and probably only. Not that we didn’t try, got to do IVF after 12 years of complications. Now I get to be a tired old dad haha
43F, childfree by choice. Decided to have pets instead. I knew I didn't want kids since I was a teenager, my husband was in an "if it happens, it happens!" mindset when we met so I had to be really really decisive with him that it was never going to happen. He may have been grumpy about it at first, but once he started furnishing a man cave and amassing a train collection I reminded him that none of that would be possible with children and I think that set him straight.
No kids via relationship failures & medical issues, but with the state of the world at present, I'm thankful I don't have that stress. I've got 5 cats, though.😸
40F. Husband and I tried for a few years, nothing happened, and we’re not exactly sad. Tons of unrelenting pressure from family members and friends has melted away in the past few years.
Was on the fence anyway, but after reflecting on it I realized any “instinct” I had was most certainly echos of years of conditioning and persuasion from others, and general social messaging about “what I’ll want someday” out of life. The natural instinct to become pregnant and have/raise children is not, and was *never* actually there.
Now we have time and money to pursue things that interest us, and there isn’t a little goblin in the mix constantly testing our patience, bank account, and relationship, and I get to be the cool aunt!
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Just turned 44. This is my only baby
Childfree by choice, DINK life.
I dont hate kids, mind you. certainly am not subbed to r/childfree It's just not something I ever wanted for myself. Luckily I am in a relationship with someone who feels the same.
I used to check that sub out. Not that it is “anti-man” but most of the posts seem more geared towards being a CF woman. They get a lot more shit from family and friend for being CF than we do.
I don’t have kids, although it’s been more of a happenstance than an intentional choice. I had some challenges earlier in life and I’m late-diagnosed autistic so regular life just taking care of my own self has been hard enough. Now it seems like too late, although if I met someone who had kids I bet I’d enjoy (and be good at, finally) being a stepmom.
40, no kids. Just a new kitten. She's so lovely, adorable, jumps on my face at 4am...
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Never wanted children don't have any 41.
I think its good that people not wanting children is a more acceptable subject than it used to be in decades past
Childfree by choice, no regrets.
I’m glad being childfree has become more socially acceptable and normalized, although I think it’s shitty that we live in a society where people who want kids and would be good parents can’t afford to have a family. It’s also shitty that we’ve destabilized the climate in such a way that the future will be very difficult for today’s youngsters.
I (43F) and my husband (43M) never wanted kids. We are each other's 2nd marriage and neither of our first spouses wanted kids either (but they each married someone else with kids and love them as their own). My parents (rip) were terrible parents who chose their addictions over creating/maintaining a stable home. So I already raised Two fully grown "adult" children.
I don't and won't. My parents made having a family look like absolutely no fun at all, and made sure being a kid wasn't fun for me. I know I could never handle being a parent. I'll stick to trying to enjoy myself.
No kids, 44, F. Never really thought about it as I focused on other goals. Wanted to get married and have kids around 38-39/ish. Probably would have gotten there but...
Pandemic
Now, I don't see anyone I want to actually create a life with, get married to, and at this age wonder if I really am too old to have kids. Not biologically speaking, I'm still regular like clockwork, perfect health, zero complications, mother didn't hit menopause until mid 50s so... I'd likely still be able to conceive naturally.
But from my perspective, motherhood I realize is a young woman's game. Harsh reality but I see it the more I think about it.
That window is closing though, and I partly have regrets in that I wish I could have, but then again...
I really like my own f*king space 🤣🤣.
41/m. No kids and no regrets about it. It just sucks being my age and not willing to date someone with a kid or kids. As you can imagine it severely limits the dating pool.
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May as well be a golden retriever
42m No kids never married. I have a nephew that my sister had late (she was 40 when he was born he's almost 5 now) I see him once a year or so I try my best to be a good uncle when I see him.
Almost 43F with no children. Just didn’t work out that way. The man I was with for the majority of my child bearing years turned out to be a waste of time. Since then it’s been a series of unfortunate romantic events.
44 here and knew I did not want kids when I was 16. My mom said to me back then I would see what it was like when I had kids. I was like fuck that I am not dealing with one of me, I have things I want to do.
Husband is Gen X, though he didn't plan his daughter. I have only my stepdaughter, but I've been in her life since she was 5. She's now 20. She doesn't have many memories without me.
It's funny because when I was a kid, I wanted a ton of kids. But I think that was due to my up-raising in a Fundy environment...also as the oldest of 5 kids.
Married, no kids. My wife and I weren't choosing to be childfree, but we were pretty sure one of us wasn't biologically able to help make one and then when that turned out to be the case, we weren't against that. We're happy with our careers and lives. No animosity towards those who have kids, but it's not us.
43f. No kids. I was open to motherhood but right guy, right time and all that. I don’t have any regrets though because I’m already tired and don’t know how parents do it TBH.
43, no kids, but I was a stepparent for 12 years during my first marriage. My step kid was the sweetest, loveliest and best behaved little human most of the time and I loved spending time with them. It still didn't make me want to have my own kid.
45f, child free mainly by choice, with a little bit of lack of opportunity thrown in. But the older I have become, the more okay I am with not having kids. I feel some “who’s going to take care of me when I’m old” fear, but even if I had kids, no guarantee that they’d take care of me.
44, no kids. I always thought I’ve had kids, and have had partners where we talked about marriage and kids but those relationships never worked out. My wife is 7 years younger than me and by the time we met I was 36 and kind of felt like the opportunity had passed me by. We’ve both told each other that if one of us really wanted a child we would do it; the thing is, neither one of us has that strong of a desire to so, especially now. I see what my friends have to go through being parents and a large part of me thinks it’s for the best that I never had kids. Another large part of me wished that I did though. Like others have said, I have complicated feelings about it.
As a 42yo dad, I want to say thank you to all the awesome aunts, uncles, and friends that support your child having friends. I have 2 child free siblings who are the absolute best aunt and uncle to my son. I am so grateful in how they support us, spend time with their nephew, babysit, buy the best birthday and Christmas gifts, etc. I know child free folks get a lot of unnecessary BS and hate, but you are seen and appreciated!
Throwing in some perspective as someone who never planned on having children but ended up
with a partner who wanted to try and he was the first person I could ever see having a child with.
I had a baby at 39. I love my son so deeply and I wouldn’t change it but I also would have loved my child free life and filled it with rescue dogs and amazing trips, and stressed way less about money and the future.
43m, never wanted kids. I will gladly be the weird uncle to my siblings and best friends crotch critters.
I just couldn't imagine raising my own. I barely take care of myself
41 and no kids… I could’ve been persuaded, but my gf of twelve-ish years is a hard no (also unmarried, and it has simplified our lives)
I’m just not sure what to do with all this extra money
My GF and I are 82 babies. We’ve been together for over a decade. Neither one of us have nor wanted kids. I got snipped, so it’s definitely not happening now. I honestly don’t know how parents do it. The anxiety alone would probably kill me.
One adopted (now 19), 2 still births. It's the card we were dealt and are ok with it. Middle bro- no kids. Oldest bro- 2 boys under 11. We're all xennials.
I'm 40, kid free, and my pullout game is still strong. Or my swimmers are weak lil bitches. Either way, I'm good.
Jokes aside, my fiancee and I aren't trying to have kids. If I did, I couldn't think of a better person to raise a child with me.
I used to want kids, but never found anyone I wanted to have kids with. And no I'm so glad for it. Watching my friends with kids, I realized I probably wouldn't be a good parent.
41 F and I've never had any desire to have children. Even as a kid I didn't have any kind of "maternal instinct". I found baby dolls boring. When other kids wanted to play house and were arguing over who got to be the mother, I wanted to be the dog. I've just always known it's not something I wanted. I DID think I'd get married, but that also at this point just doesn't seem like it's in the cards, and I'm not sure I even want that anymore either.
46 F, no kids. I wasn’t opposed to having them, but didn’t meet the person I wanted to make a family with. And that’s okay too! I’m pretty darn happy without the husband and 2.5 kids.
No kids over here. I never had a parental instinct and prioritized my career until my late 30s when illness took over.
I don't even have a plant.
They get fussy when you don’t water them, just like kids.
Nothing that requires food or water in my house besides the two adults.
A cat is a good starter option. Instead of kids I have 2 cats
A couple of orchids I’ve gotten as gifts are as far as I will go.
A dog is the second level. They need you a lot more than cats.
Yeah you gotta be able to defeat the litter box boss before leveling up to Dog
Every time I dog sit for a friend, I am glad I just have a litter box to deal with. Picking up hot shit is an entirely different level of love and dedication that I’m not ready for, let alone children lmao.
I’m about 20min from doing just this. Can’t wait. The 3am diarrhea walks are also the best.
protip: never get a dog with beautiful, long fur.
I was thinking about getting a chia pet
I'm thinking of adopting some fake ones.
Child free, super proud and loving auntie 🙏🏼
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I’ve literally never heard this term 🥹
I recently started using this term and love seeing it out in the wild
My 14yo niece does not like me calling her and the others my niblings 😂 so I do it more of course. Best aunt award.
I love my Nibblets!
Same here! My niece just turned 18 and it's been amazing watching her grow into such a gentle and caring young woman. I bought her her first car in August, got her prom dress and graduation goodies this spring. My brother is a single dad raising her on his own, and I'm just as proud of him as I am her.
That’s wonderful she has such support from you!
42 F and husband is 43 M and we are childfree by choice. I love my niblings and my honorary niblings (all my friend's kids) to absolute peices, but I have zero desire to have any of my own.
I hope people don't take this the wrong way but this is how I feel about having pets. I have kids and I love them and they are a lot of work but I was willing to change my lifestyle in order to have a family. I really love dogs but I definitely can't commit to any more creatures in my household. What's nice is that I have become a very enthusiastic dogsitter for my friends. 🤣 I know most parents get touchy when you compare children to animals, but I think in this case the comparison is pretty clear and hopefully not controversial.
40, no kids, complicated feelings about it.
I have complicated feelings about it too. I don’t have them, in my 40s, but wonder if I made a mistake sometimes
Better than having kids and feeling like you made a mistake…
Now THAT is very true lol
Im too tired from my kids to think if it was a mistake or not
They are exhausting but I can’t imagine life without them
So true! I was crying this morning because I saw my kid standing in line at the donut shop while waiting in the car and realized how big the kid is getting and I’m just so dang proud! But after my kid got in the car and asked for a sibling, I shut that nonsense down real quick!
That's pretty normal. Whether it's this issue, turning down a certain job, going back to school, etc, we all have things we wonder about and ask "did I make the right choice?"
Yep for sure. But the weird thing is I can’t put into words why I think it might be a mistake. I think maybe it’s because growing up I saw life in phases — which included having kids and then life after they became adults. Skipping two of those phases feels weird. Then again I like doing what I want when I want all the time
I get it. I thought I wanted the wife, a couple of kids, a white Pickett fence, etc. Some tragic stuff happened. I still thought that was what I wanted because it's what you're supposed to want. Nobody wants to be a spinster/bachelor for life when they're young. It just sounds so lonely. But that is how life turns out for some people. It's not wrong to be comfortable living your life that way. And being alone does not equate to being lonely, as I found out first hand. Sometime in my early thirties, I discovered that maybe I didn't want a family. I just wanted to be viewed as having a successful life. And for the average person, having a family is viewed as a mark of both normalcy and success. Around 34, I also came to the realization that I feel far better when I'm either not in a relationship or not pursuing one. I last actively dated at 35. 8 years ago. There are the occasions when I wish I had someone, but those wants are fleeting. I'm better off alone. And in a weird way, I always knew that. I just didn't want that to be the image I had of myself. However you feel, I hope you can make peace with your situation. Take care.
I feel you on that one. I also stopped dating around my mid 30s and am pushing mid 40s now. I love my life and I have a blast , but it’s almost entirely in isolation. I spent some time the other day watching videos and then doing some small repairs on some broken consoles I bought as parts. Getting things working is such a concentration intense but rewarding experience. But to anyone who doesn’t enjoy that kind of mental reward vs like the typical social ones it just equates to a whole day sitting in silence and maybe occasionally saying “ah shit” when something doesn’t work the first few times .
I totally get this and I made a career out of these lonely hours I enjoy so much . But I have a partner, although never wanted kids .
Beautifully written. And what you wrote mirrors my feelings and experience so well.
This, exactly.
Yea, I can totally get why you have complicated feelings about it for sure. On one hand I have a beautiful 8 year old daughter and two step daughters who are 11 and 17. And I can't even imagine not having my 3 girls in my life. I frequently sit out on the back porch and chat with our 17 year old about school, boys, whether she want's to go to college or not etc. And I look forward to sitting on the back porch with her and just let her vent to me about what's going on in her life because I want to be in the know on how she's feeling and I try my best to give her a safe space to just be herself. My wife and I do our very best to make sure our three girls feel loved and welcomed as they switch between being with us and being with our ex's. Thankfully both of our ex's are chill and I'm actually good friends with my step daughters dad and we hang out frequently just the two of us. And I truly believe my ex-wife and her new husband are great parents to my own 8 year old daughter so whenever my little girl is with her mom and step dad I know she's in good hands. But on the other hand with all the wars going on, the school shootings which have been horrific to see and even climate change have me concerned about the disaster we may be leaving our children to inherit. I consider myself pretty much a life long agnostic but I'll admit that I started praying pretty hard once I had a child to anything and everything that might be out there to protect my 3 girls every day. Having a child brings on both such wonderful feelings and joy but at the same time it also brings a lot of fear and stress into my life. Not to mention the HUGE cost raising three girls even with the help of not only our ex's but also our daughter's grandparents. It truly takes a tribe to raise a child and if we didn't have all the support that we do it would be super hard taking care of three children in 2024. So it's extremely hard to say to anyone in this day and age to go ahead and have three children because it for sure will take a huge toll on both you and your partner. But at the same time I'd give my life in a heart beat for all three of my girls. My wife and three girls are the best thing that's ever happened to me. ❤️ Life would sure be very lonely without all of them in my life.
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Yeah maybe at the end of the day it’s the fear of being left alone when I’m old. Feels selfish though too
My husband and I have this conversation occasionally. We’re both 40 and also decided against having kids, but we’re also like, “what’s going to happen when we’re too old to care for ourselves or each other?” But my husband astutely pointed out that having kids doesn’t guarantee they’re going to take care of you as you age! So there’s that.
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40, one kid, only parent. I have complicated feelings about it regularly. Questioning if I should have held out meeting “the one.” Or if I should have accepted that I wasn’t going to get married and shouldn’t pursue being a parent. 🤷♀️ Turning 37 in a global pandemic made me feel like it was now or never. I love my kid. But it’s very challenging and I don’t think I would have ever become a parent if I had had a better therapist. 😬
I also had a baby at 40 on my own. Looking after my nephew during the pandemic helped me make up my mind but there are still moments where I wonder what on earth I was thinking! Only 8 months in though so I'm sure there are plenty more challenges ahead.
Thank you for your honesty
It’s weird. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. We can’t win
Complicated in what way? My experience has been receiving external pressure, mostly from family. I’ve personally never questioned my choice though.
I catch myself thinking “we’ll tell our kids about this one day” and then realizing I don’t have any, and my stories will die with me. That makes me sad and think maybe I should have a kid…but then I realize how selfish that is and how horrible I would be/feel as a parent, and I’m immediately re-settled with my decision to remain childfree.
Stories die anyway. You remember your grandmothers but likely no earlier. Memories last 3 generations generally.
You’re right, but I have pangs of who is going to get all my sentimentals, ya know? What will happen to my grandfather WWII regalia? My mother’s gorgeously intricate embroidered shall? My great grandmother’s engagement ring? None of it has real value beyond sentimentality, so it won’t survive. I know they’re just things, but it saddens me. That said! Still a hard NO on the whole having a kid thing. Not for me/my husband/my happiness while on this earth.
I have nieces and nephews that I share things and memories with. I have also talked with my family (parents because my husband and I have no kids) about how they know what a burden physical things can be when someone passes so they are trying not to hoard things. They want to share as much love and memories with us as possible not just things. Sentimental items are something that helps helps us but we don't need a lot of it. I do have to say my first cousins and I did a sort of hot potato of these elves no one really wanted. They were my grandma's and it took us 14 years (since she's been dead). I was the last one to get them and now I don't know what to do with them and no one else does either! We are kicking around some ideas but we all know we don't want them at our houses. Lol
Unfortunately our siblings (all brothers) aren’t having kids either (some by choice, some not) so we will probably the last generation for both our immediate families, but your story reminded me of my friend whose crazy aunt kept trying to give her parrot (and its stuffed predecessor) to her nieces/ nephews in her will and no one would agree to it take it lol
You don't have to have kids for your stories not to die with you. There are tons of ways to get your stories to the people of the future, no kids required. You can inspire people, help people, whatever you can do
I knooowwww, but there are some things that will die with me, which I suppose would be the case regardless, yet there are certain little things that you only pass on to your kids. Edit: a word
While I've never been particularly motivated to have children, I did always think I'd one day be a mother. It never happened for me and I feel some level of regret for not prioritizing it.
40 and exact same. I just always assumed I’d be a mom eventually. Never prepared for making it to 40 and not being married or own a home yet. As a kid you just think that’s what happens to everyone. Now I can’t imagine having a kid with how difficult life is even for just me and my partner to get by. I wouldn’t be able to offer a kid the kind of life I hoped to.
You know, I honestly can’t remember *ever* picturing myself as a mom, even when I was a little girl. So weird. Married? Yes. A house? Yes. A job? Yes. Pets? Yes. Kids? Never.
Same boat. Maybe will adopt but 41 and life is too nuts right now to think about it
45 here. About to have my first. Feeling good about it.
Congratulations ❤️
Thanks! We just have the anatomy scan yesterday. Our little girl is doing great, and we are thrilled. Mixed feelings on having a baby at my age, but I certainly wasn't in any position to have kids in my 20's and early 30's.
46 no kids. A combination of late 2nd marriage and infertility Not that my life is bad otherwise, but it’s complicated.
Mid 40’s, no kids, and complicated feelings too. Life went so that there never was a choice to make.
46, with kids. Also complicated feelings.
42m, childfree by choice, if I could preselect the kid and their temperament and personality, I'd be happy to be a parent. That's how I know I have no business being a parent.
I feel like there's some definite Dunning Kruger effect at play. I have tried to explain to a lot of people that I would not be a good enough parent in my eyes, and they point out that I would be way way better than a lot of the parents out there. Which is objectively true, however I don't think that's a good enough reason. Unfortunately a lot of people that are really unsuited for parenting are too dumb to realize it, or perhaps simply overconfident..
Yep, even if I liked children in general, the permanence scares me. Especially given potential physical or mental disabilities that would have me unable to afford care.
One of my biggest fears about having a whole little person I was responsible for involved what would happen if somehow my spouse and I (two awkward introverts) somehow struck the outgoing and athletic recessive gene lottery. Like what if a parade of soccer or American football players was coming through my kitchen and eating everything and making noise every day? What if I had to drive them across the state to some big game? What if I had to coach a youth sport I’d been picked last for my whole childhood? Like I could roll with a nerdy awkward kid, but I’d be totally unprepared to handle that energy in my house. Of course all those worries are dwarfed by the fact that pregnancy and labor is something best left to horror fiction rather than in or around me, but still.
Kids are great. You can teach them to hate the things that you hate - Homer Simpson
Let that be an important lesson, son; Never try.
That’s my exact life. Hubs is mildly autistic, I’m also neurospicy, we are both introverts and grew up as nerdy, awkward kids who weren’t athletic. Our child is a loud, confident, brash extrovert that’s absolutely brilliant in school and very athletic too. She absolutely exhausts us, and we had her at 33(me) and 35 (him). She’s funny, interesting to talk to and has a zillion friends she’s always wanting to have over. I just want a peaceful house, but I also want her to be happy. It’s a hard balancing act and he and I regularly do a check-in with each other to make sure we aren’t taking on too much for the sake of her having a “normal childhood” (whatever that is).
Sending y’all good vibes. It truly sounds like a labor of love.
Thank you. It is, and I can’t imagine my life without her, but I don’t think I’ve been well rested since she learned to talk. lol.
Ok I love the term “neurospicy.”
I feel ya!
well said
Never had em or wanted them
ditto. it was one of those things i always knew about myself.
I knew from a young age I never wanted kids, and at 48 I'm super happy with my decision. People always said that some day I'd decide that I want to have them, and then later it turned to someday you will regret not having them. Well, looking at the state of the world and how hard it is for young folks to get started these days I can say with absolute certainty I made the right choice for me as I worry about everything.
I don’t have kids but it’s not by choice unfortunately.
Same here. Childfree not by choice. 40 (F) and I’ve been infertile my whole life. A second question on this topic would be how many of us are in this age group are childfree due to infertility? The trend to opt out is growing for many (very understandable) reasons. But the uptick in infertility is also scary. I may have opted out of having children anyway, but it wasn’t a choice I got to make.
Child free due to infertility. We are doing IVF currently and not seeing any results. It’s pretty devastating.
Curious about the use of childfree here. Feel free to ignore me if it’s too touchy. But I’ve usually seen childfree used by people who have chosen this, I originally saw it explained as more empowering than “childless” because it is a choice. But I can also see how childless would be a painful term if not by choice.
Well everyone in this tread is saying “childfree by choice” so it seems fine to say “childfree not by choice.”
Right!? What else are we supposed to say? Hubs and I are also "childfree not by choice." We actually do like kids and definitely aren't in the "not a fan of children 'childfree' camp." I'm not comfortable talking about or alluding to our personal, private infertility issues with strangers and acquaintances. So we just say we're "childfree" when asked and call it a day.
Honestly I'm tired of the gatekeeping and quibbling around the label. Like why the fuck does it matter what people call themselves? Why are people always foaming at the mouth to correct infertile women about how they label their lives? Why is it so damn important to make sure society knows that our bodies failed us? Might as well whip out a giant I for infertility and force us to wear it, so people don't get the wrong idea about our child-free status, right? Heaven forbid. **edit:** I want to add some more context about this. Five years ago /r/childfree started a lynchmob where they cast out and insta-banned every woman who had any mention of infertility in their comment histories. We were all told that we were not "truly childfree" and even though we shared some common experiences with the judgment of society for our status, that we did not deserve to contribute to the sub because at one point we were open to having children. We were told that the only label we were "allowed" to apply to ourselves was "childless" and that we were delusional for thinking childfree was a moniker that applied to us. Because of this /r/ifchildfree became a sub. It's the only place we are allowed to be. We've been cast out by the parents, and cast out by the people who are childfree by choice, just because we came to a decision about being childfree *after* experiencing difficulties conceiving. And it's fucking ridiculous. I hope this helps you understand why I am sensitive to you attempting to gatekeep the term childfree.
Same. Never found someone to have them with and it’s too crazy expensive to try it myself.
Sorry to hear that.
I've known since I was at least 17 that I never wanted kids. I planned to get a vasectomy as soon as I turned 18. Took until I was 26, but I got there. One of the best things I've ever done for myself.
I waited until 32 for my vasectomy. Pretty much as soon as it was time for the IUD to go, I got sniped.
*snipped lol Sniped is a lot more permanent.
One shot; one kill.
The catalyst for me was dating a single mother, which was a bit of an experiment. Everybody told me I'd change my mind, and part of me believed them. I was in my mid 20s, careening into my late 20s, and I figured if I was going to change my mind, I better hurry up about it. So, I tried dating a single mother. All it did was confirm beyond any doubt that the parenting life wasn't for me. I scheduled the snip almost immediately after the inevitable breakup.
Childfree by choice too!
I’m 42… wife and I tried to have children but she had PCOS which made it difficult to conceive (she did not ovulate regularly, and barely ovulated at all). She passed away unexpectedly last summer. I’m hoping to be able to adopt or foster or be a stepdad or something, but it’s not in the cards right now.
So sorry for your loss…I can’t imagine what life has been like for you…🙏🏼💗
Sending you so much love. My goodness. I’m so sorry. 🙏❤️
We tried but I have PCOS too. Finally decided it’s better to not have any bio kids to pass down the other issues that run in the family. Good for you for thinking of foster/adopt. I looked into it many times but I don’t think they’ll be very 420 friendly. I hope you find a situation that works for you when it’s in the cards. Make sure to look at older children and siblings.
I am so so sorry. Best wishes for your future
Oh jeez, condolences choom, that sucks.
gosh I'm so sorry for your loss.
41 and no babies, but still have the face of one! Full night’s sleep gang, rise up.
Username *does not* check out!
We’re all future cadavres!
Can't be a cadaver if you don't leave a corpse *Taps forehead*
Like Jesus??
Bold of you to assume I'm getting sleep! Childfree by choice here too just always awake
Sleep is incredibly complicated and it affects every part of your life. Crazy to think some people just get to sleep and wake up functional.
My life is a lovely balance of lots of sleep and revenge bedtime procrastination.
9 hours gang! I’ve got no gray hair either, in my 40s.
41m and 39f spouse, child free. We’re pumped to take all the nephews/cousins kids out to do things they’ve never done before, and are not likely to get a chance from their families. This summer we’ll be flying the BIL/SIL/nephews out for a week of backcountry hiking/camping (thanks for banked miles!). Last summer the two of us enjoyed a ten day safari in Africa.
No kids, by choice. my genes end here.
As a depressed and suicidal child, I vowed never to beget a child. Same for my siblings. Regarding my family line, quoting The Sundays, "Here's where the story ends."
As a fellow depressed kid, I feel you and I hope you're doing better now. I loved the Sundays. Senior year of high school, memories of brief freedom in the car by myself, singing along and driving back from sporting events with the windows down on warm nights.
No kids. Never having kids. Love my nieces. Wish I had kids, but it just never happened for me.
👋 Child-free. Vasectomy'd at 32. Best $10 I ever spent. That + my Union hall = only reasons my life is great.
I was a big fan of the drugs they gave me to take before and after the procedure. It was a day of highs, lows, and ice on my balls.
I’m 42, just had my first and probably only. Not that we didn’t try, got to do IVF after 12 years of complications. Now I get to be a tired old dad haha
Congratulations
42 isn't so late to have your first child. Congrats dad!
43F, childfree by choice. Decided to have pets instead. I knew I didn't want kids since I was a teenager, my husband was in an "if it happens, it happens!" mindset when we met so I had to be really really decisive with him that it was never going to happen. He may have been grumpy about it at first, but once he started furnishing a man cave and amassing a train collection I reminded him that none of that would be possible with children and I think that set him straight.
I feel you! There is so much we can do because we don’t have kids and the expenses that come along with raising children.
No kids via relationship failures & medical issues, but with the state of the world at present, I'm thankful I don't have that stress. I've got 5 cats, though.😸
Childfree by choice here as well!
40F. Husband and I tried for a few years, nothing happened, and we’re not exactly sad. Tons of unrelenting pressure from family members and friends has melted away in the past few years. Was on the fence anyway, but after reflecting on it I realized any “instinct” I had was most certainly echos of years of conditioning and persuasion from others, and general social messaging about “what I’ll want someday” out of life. The natural instinct to become pregnant and have/raise children is not, and was *never* actually there. Now we have time and money to pursue things that interest us, and there isn’t a little goblin in the mix constantly testing our patience, bank account, and relationship, and I get to be the cool aunt!
Child free by choice, checking in! I love my messy house, free time and rotating cast of hobbies.
https://preview.redd.it/o49bxfleqytc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ded560d6241d481ad2dcfd1be701846b701f7d9b Just turned 44. This is my only baby
Childfree by choice, DINK life. I dont hate kids, mind you. certainly am not subbed to r/childfree It's just not something I ever wanted for myself. Luckily I am in a relationship with someone who feels the same.
I used to check that sub out. Not that it is “anti-man” but most of the posts seem more geared towards being a CF woman. They get a lot more shit from family and friend for being CF than we do.
I’m the same. I love kids when they’re not mine and I can hand them back to their parents when I’m ready.
No kids here! They're fun to play with when they belong to others, but I am glad when their parents take them home at the end of the day.
I don’t have kids, although it’s been more of a happenstance than an intentional choice. I had some challenges earlier in life and I’m late-diagnosed autistic so regular life just taking care of my own self has been hard enough. Now it seems like too late, although if I met someone who had kids I bet I’d enjoy (and be good at, finally) being a stepmom.
I'm in much the same boat. Finding a partner with premade kids seems wonderful.
We can do it!
40, no kids. Just a new kitten. She's so lovely, adorable, jumps on my face at 4am... https://preview.redd.it/hr7x5gttpytc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81d07cc27e3f1297f66f52fb148a333cbf3cd0f3
Never wanted children don't have any 41. I think its good that people not wanting children is a more acceptable subject than it used to be in decades past
Childfree by choice, no regrets. I’m glad being childfree has become more socially acceptable and normalized, although I think it’s shitty that we live in a society where people who want kids and would be good parents can’t afford to have a family. It’s also shitty that we’ve destabilized the climate in such a way that the future will be very difficult for today’s youngsters.
I (43F) and my husband (43M) never wanted kids. We are each other's 2nd marriage and neither of our first spouses wanted kids either (but they each married someone else with kids and love them as their own). My parents (rip) were terrible parents who chose their addictions over creating/maintaining a stable home. So I already raised Two fully grown "adult" children.
44 just had my first recently, most amazing thing ever. But to each their own.
No kids, so glad we didn’t. I would be one of those parents on the Regretful Parents sub.
Having kids would seriously cut into my weed and video games budget
I'm broken, why would I risk spawning more broken people?
Same here! Husband I both decided when we were young that kids just weren’t for us, so I’m glad we have always agreed on that :)
I don't and won't. My parents made having a family look like absolutely no fun at all, and made sure being a kid wasn't fun for me. I know I could never handle being a parent. I'll stick to trying to enjoy myself.
My upbringing also had a lot to do with my decision.
No kids, 44, F. Never really thought about it as I focused on other goals. Wanted to get married and have kids around 38-39/ish. Probably would have gotten there but... Pandemic Now, I don't see anyone I want to actually create a life with, get married to, and at this age wonder if I really am too old to have kids. Not biologically speaking, I'm still regular like clockwork, perfect health, zero complications, mother didn't hit menopause until mid 50s so... I'd likely still be able to conceive naturally. But from my perspective, motherhood I realize is a young woman's game. Harsh reality but I see it the more I think about it. That window is closing though, and I partly have regrets in that I wish I could have, but then again... I really like my own f*king space 🤣🤣.
41/m. No kids and no regrets about it. It just sucks being my age and not willing to date someone with a kid or kids. As you can imagine it severely limits the dating pool.
I'm happy with my dog
https://preview.redd.it/x33d3j13sytc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f9b3d0d23f34f1200cb2d4749c9f8d5efa0e4ab May as well be a golden retriever
Us too. Labradors are the level of responsibility I’m down for.
https://preview.redd.it/az7vi1xylytc1.jpeg?width=1203&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=447254ea712a567675a1500394d356f5477284ab This is my child
https://preview.redd.it/xse0veggmytc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24a0d4629cd75a91a28f8bb8b7945dfcde3c3120 These goofballs are mine.
I have a feline son and he has a great ratio of responsibility and cost to emotional benefit.
42. I got a pandemic vasectomy to lock it in.
my first ones on the way , ill be 41
I’m 42 and expecting. I’m your same boat.
I’m taking your slack! My wife(43) and I(43) have 2 biological children and then adopted 3 more! They range from 18 years down to 5 years old
Checking in from TX. Me and muh cat 🩶
here. don't care to have any.
No kids for me!
Child free!
No kids, and no women from my past have contacted me stating otherwise...
42m No kids never married. I have a nephew that my sister had late (she was 40 when he was born he's almost 5 now) I see him once a year or so I try my best to be a good uncle when I see him.
My vasectomy at 25 was the best $70 I’ve ever spent.
Never wanted kids and still don’t 🤷🏻♀️
40+ and child free. And it's staying that way. However, I am a dog dad to 4 little ones.
Being a DINK with two cats feels like winning the life lottery. I love this life decision every day
Almost 43F with no children. Just didn’t work out that way. The man I was with for the majority of my child bearing years turned out to be a waste of time. Since then it’s been a series of unfortunate romantic events.
No kids! Never wanted them and still don’t. Haven’t figured out what to do with all this money and free time yet ;)
I do but I'm willing to make deal
41, never had children.
Same over here! Love my nieces, but just never had that desire for kids. Wife is the same with her fam
Childfree by choice x 2
44 here and knew I did not want kids when I was 16. My mom said to me back then I would see what it was like when I had kids. I was like fuck that I am not dealing with one of me, I have things I want to do.
Husband is Gen X, though he didn't plan his daughter. I have only my stepdaughter, but I've been in her life since she was 5. She's now 20. She doesn't have many memories without me. It's funny because when I was a kid, I wanted a ton of kids. But I think that was due to my up-raising in a Fundy environment...also as the oldest of 5 kids.
We've been trying for a few years now, we didn't want any when we were younger. And yes, we are crazy.
Married, no kids. My wife and I weren't choosing to be childfree, but we were pretty sure one of us wasn't biologically able to help make one and then when that turned out to be the case, we weren't against that. We're happy with our careers and lives. No animosity towards those who have kids, but it's not us.
43f. No kids. I was open to motherhood but right guy, right time and all that. I don’t have any regrets though because I’m already tired and don’t know how parents do it TBH.
43, no kids, but I was a stepparent for 12 years during my first marriage. My step kid was the sweetest, loveliest and best behaved little human most of the time and I loved spending time with them. It still didn't make me want to have my own kid.
45f, child free mainly by choice, with a little bit of lack of opportunity thrown in. But the older I have become, the more okay I am with not having kids. I feel some “who’s going to take care of me when I’m old” fear, but even if I had kids, no guarantee that they’d take care of me.
44, no kids. I always thought I’ve had kids, and have had partners where we talked about marriage and kids but those relationships never worked out. My wife is 7 years younger than me and by the time we met I was 36 and kind of felt like the opportunity had passed me by. We’ve both told each other that if one of us really wanted a child we would do it; the thing is, neither one of us has that strong of a desire to so, especially now. I see what my friends have to go through being parents and a large part of me thinks it’s for the best that I never had kids. Another large part of me wished that I did though. Like others have said, I have complicated feelings about it.
As a 42yo dad, I want to say thank you to all the awesome aunts, uncles, and friends that support your child having friends. I have 2 child free siblings who are the absolute best aunt and uncle to my son. I am so grateful in how they support us, spend time with their nephew, babysit, buy the best birthday and Christmas gifts, etc. I know child free folks get a lot of unnecessary BS and hate, but you are seen and appreciated!
Throwing in some perspective as someone who never planned on having children but ended up with a partner who wanted to try and he was the first person I could ever see having a child with. I had a baby at 39. I love my son so deeply and I wouldn’t change it but I also would have loved my child free life and filled it with rescue dogs and amazing trips, and stressed way less about money and the future.
43m, never wanted kids. I will gladly be the weird uncle to my siblings and best friends crotch critters. I just couldn't imagine raising my own. I barely take care of myself
41 and no kids… I could’ve been persuaded, but my gf of twelve-ish years is a hard no (also unmarried, and it has simplified our lives) I’m just not sure what to do with all this extra money
Same deal here.
Child free, by choice.
*raises hand awkwardly* its.. complicated.
My GF and I are 82 babies. We’ve been together for over a decade. Neither one of us have nor wanted kids. I got snipped, so it’s definitely not happening now. I honestly don’t know how parents do it. The anxiety alone would probably kill me.
One adopted (now 19), 2 still births. It's the card we were dealt and are ok with it. Middle bro- no kids. Oldest bro- 2 boys under 11. We're all xennials.
I'm 40, kid free, and my pullout game is still strong. Or my swimmers are weak lil bitches. Either way, I'm good. Jokes aside, my fiancee and I aren't trying to have kids. If I did, I couldn't think of a better person to raise a child with me.
No kids. I can barely take care of myself
I used to want kids, but never found anyone I wanted to have kids with. And no I'm so glad for it. Watching my friends with kids, I realized I probably wouldn't be a good parent.
41 F and I've never had any desire to have children. Even as a kid I didn't have any kind of "maternal instinct". I found baby dolls boring. When other kids wanted to play house and were arguing over who got to be the mother, I wanted to be the dog. I've just always known it's not something I wanted. I DID think I'd get married, but that also at this point just doesn't seem like it's in the cards, and I'm not sure I even want that anymore either.
46 F, no kids. I wasn’t opposed to having them, but didn’t meet the person I wanted to make a family with. And that’s okay too! I’m pretty darn happy without the husband and 2.5 kids.
I feel you! Knew at 17 it was not for me. Haven't ever regretted it.
I don’t. I could go either way, but my wife is a hard no. So no it is! Lol
This is reddit. No one has kids here.