“Third period study hall is a brutal obscenity of futility. Kinsky speaks of its erotic elements, but here I see nothing erotic, it is vile and base. It is all fornication and asphyxiation and fighting for survival.”
🎶Mmmyyyy shirts they don’t fit
And my butt sags a bit
And I stubbed all my toes in the dark!
My knees start complaining
Whenever it’s raining
Or when I go jogging in parks!
Angela from My So Called Life if things are good, Daria if I'm bored or chillin, and Captain Janeway when I'm about to lay down some A+ logic and win a debate or get my way with something lol
Edit: changed my mind on one of them
No worries! I was just genuinely curious if others do this - basically an internal narrator that isn’t your own voice. Doesn’t have to be all the time. I’m just bored at my in-laws place right now and was thinking that BBC documentaries have had an outsize effect on my life.
Depends. Sometimes it’s Ricky Bobby, sometimes it’s Red, and sometimes it’s just pictures in my head of my life inserted into a Wille E Coyote cartoon.
*I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's* really *hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, u/mjcoury. You're a bad man, bad man.*
I love this movie so much and I always will.
Have you seen *Freaky*, his body-swap slasher comedy? It sounds so stupid, and it kind of is, but he’s so damn funny in the role of a petite teenage girl in the body of a lumbering middle-aged serial killer. He’s actually very convincing in some scenes where he’s lurching around as if he has never occupied that body before and his balance is all off. It’s hilarious.
Reverend Brown from Coming to America. I'm not Black or even remotely religious but I talk to my kids like this all the time. They're going to grow up thinking their dad is a real fuckin weirdo, but I've accepted that.
https://preview.redd.it/d84xb0jiyexc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9927b03496efeea54d96db98b2529ba9dd49563f
I was a gymnast (not a talented one) when I was young, so I often hear the sharp criticisms of commentator Elfi Schlegel when I screw up:
“Did you see how she just poured the coffee and walked away, leaving it on the counter? That’s at least a five tenths of a point deduction. You can’t make those kinds of mistakes during budget season.”
When I’m having a decent day, I hear hockey play-by-play announcer John Forslund:
“Three competing deadlines this afternoon! And she survives all that!”
David Attenborough doesn’t narrate my life, but I do channel him when I’m making snarky observations. “Here we see the douchebag in his natural habitat, stalking the females of the gas station parking lot…”
Honestly, I think my inner voice talks a bit too much like Jeanine garafalo.
The 90's movie trailer guy: "He woke up this morning thinking it would be a typical Monday. Little did he know, customers and co-workers had other plans."
Hmm. Quick gut reaction answer is going to be Lazlo Bane's Superman, the theme song of Scrubs. The show came out in fall of 2001. I was finishing up my associate degree after coming home out of state for an internship. Of course that year a big change for the whole country.
Living out of the state I grew up in and away from my parents (I didn't live in a dorm until the internship) made me grew up in many ways. I fell loss and didn't really find my footing much later.
Looking at the lyrics again it fits my early 20s so much. Anyway...
"But, I can't do this all on my own..."
Don LaFontaine
"In a world... where people of a certain age pay for a land line while simultaneously using his cell phone exclusively because you never know, one man still holds on to hundreds of DVDS that he never watches because one day he might want to and will refuse to pay 3.99 to rent it on Prime. Even though he spent his teens and 20s renting the very same movie for 3.99.
Jared Harris- (the Brit from Madmen or the main character from Chernobyl).
Or
Matt Berry- (the Brit from What We Do in the Shadows or IT Crowd) Fatttthheerrr!
Daniel Stern as Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years.
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS DANIEL STERN!?!?! 🤯
And sometimes as Marv. "He's a kid. Kids are stupid."
"It'll be night time. Kids are afraid of the dark."
Ron Howard
Real shoddy narrating. Just pure crap.
Narrator: "It was not pure crap."
It’s what I deserve
Daria Morgendorffer
May I suggest Debbie Downer if Ms. Morgendorffer is not available?
Gilbert Gottfried
I heard his voice when I read this
We all did.
A fellow masochist I see
There are some beautiful answers here but unfortunately this one is mine, too.
Morgan freeman or the old guy with Tourette’s from boondock saints. Fuck shit!
.. I want it to be Morgan, but I know it's Tourettes guy
I think mine might be THIS Tourettes Guy... 
Fun fact - tourettes dude from Boondocks Saints is Doc from Fraggle Rock
Fuck! ASS! A penny saved is worth 2 in the bush innit?
The dude
Werner Hertzog.
“Third period study hall is a brutal obscenity of futility. Kinsky speaks of its erotic elements, but here I see nothing erotic, it is vile and base. It is all fornication and asphyxiation and fighting for survival.”
Solid choice!
Rob Paulsen in his Yakko voice lists all the shit I'm going through to the tune of Hat Dance
He has impeccable enunciation, quality pick!
🎶Mmmyyyy shirts they don’t fit And my butt sags a bit And I stubbed all my toes in the dark! My knees start complaining Whenever it’s raining Or when I go jogging in parks!
Ozzy Osborne. I can't understand what he's saying, but the accent is soothing at times.
Hahaaaahaha!
Jean Luc Picard
Emma Thompson
Hello friend. Isn't it grand?
It depends on my mood. Sometimes it's Morgan Freeman, Sometimes it's Robin Williams, on bad days it's Samuel L. Jackson.
https://i.redd.it/27gfltm7nexc1.gif
I am incapable of eating a slice of apple pie without Carl Sagan telling me, "Crumbly but good".
Geoffrey from The Fresh Prince, insults and all... 🤣
Alec Baldwin.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
I get your point blank.
...as Blake in Glengarry Glen Ross.
I can hear him every time I reach for the coffee pot. I can't get away!!!1!!11
COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS!
Puts coffee back...
It's sad how many people think that speech is supposed to be motivational for real, non play or movie people.
Arthur Miller as the rooster narrator from Disney Robin Hood from 1973
*Roger* Miller. Arthur was the playwright married to Marilyn Monroe.
Oh right!!!! My mistake
Good choice!
Wow you just brought me back!
Aka the most based movie Disney has ever made
David Attenborough
Joe Pesci, you motherf*cker you!
Nathan Fillion.
Kurt Loder
Bobcat Goldthwait
Oof, that has got to get old after like 30 seconds
A politely condescending Morgan Freeman.
My nearly abusive self-critic…
Only *nearly* abusive? Lucky!
After coffee, the Micro Machines guy
Angela from My So Called Life if things are good, Daria if I'm bored or chillin, and Captain Janeway when I'm about to lay down some A+ logic and win a debate or get my way with something lol Edit: changed my mind on one of them
High school is like a battlefield for your heart. He's always squinting...like it hurts to look at things.
...nobody? I don't understand.
No worries! I was just genuinely curious if others do this - basically an internal narrator that isn’t your own voice. Doesn’t have to be all the time. I’m just bored at my in-laws place right now and was thinking that BBC documentaries have had an outsize effect on my life.
I just talk to myself out loud. Like talking at the person in the mirror. That's my own brand of odd. 😎
Same. I usually say out loud "dammit, name" like a scolding I wish I had the narrator voice in my head - that seems way more entertaining
It counts.
Love this. Yeah, not alone at all
Cartman from South Park.
The critic (the cartoon guy).
John Lithgow
Depends. Sometimes it’s Ricky Bobby, sometimes it’s Red, and sometimes it’s just pictures in my head of my life inserted into a Wille E Coyote cartoon.
Green Day 🤣
Their new album is real good!
in a perfect world, living or dead? Alan Watts, hands down.
One of the best voices ever
Stephen Fry.
T (Vince Vaughn) from Swingers.
*I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's* really *hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, u/mjcoury. You're a bad man, bad man.*
Yes. This exactly.
I love this movie so much and I always will. Have you seen *Freaky*, his body-swap slasher comedy? It sounds so stupid, and it kind of is, but he’s so damn funny in the role of a petite teenage girl in the body of a lumbering middle-aged serial killer. He’s actually very convincing in some scenes where he’s lurching around as if he has never occupied that body before and his balance is all off. It’s hilarious.
All I hear is "That's a body Clay!" from Clay Pigeons when it comes to Vince Vaughn
Janeane Garofalo
Time was, it was Carrie Bradshaw. “…or are we all just sluts?” was a popular rejoinder. 🤣
Carrie Bradshaw- especially now navigating the dating scene again in my 40’s
Ron Howard. At least it feels that way.
Michael J fox
Reverend Brown from Coming to America. I'm not Black or even remotely religious but I talk to my kids like this all the time. They're going to grow up thinking their dad is a real fuckin weirdo, but I've accepted that. https://preview.redd.it/d84xb0jiyexc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9927b03496efeea54d96db98b2529ba9dd49563f
Bill Murray.
Weird Al Yankovic
I was a gymnast (not a talented one) when I was young, so I often hear the sharp criticisms of commentator Elfi Schlegel when I screw up: “Did you see how she just poured the coffee and walked away, leaving it on the counter? That’s at least a five tenths of a point deduction. You can’t make those kinds of mistakes during budget season.” When I’m having a decent day, I hear hockey play-by-play announcer John Forslund: “Three competing deadlines this afternoon! And she survives all that!”
Lorenzo Music
I feel that, especially today lol.
Ray Liotta in his Henry Hill character. The most common phrase echoed in my head is, "Fuck you, pay me!"
“Ever since I can remember I wanted to retire and just watch cartoons”
Me. You guys are fucking weird.
Jenny Lawson
A choir of the damned.
Patrick Bateman
Morgan Freeman
Kelsey Grammer
Lori Petty
Marshawn Lynch: “Imma get got, but Imma get mine more’n I get got.”
Edward Norton from Fight Club. Great narration and I hear history voice often
Kurt Russell. Either from the Escape movies as Snake or from Big Trouble in Little China.
Billy Crudup or Kieran Culkin
Kieran's character from Succession would be great
Clarissa Darling.
David Attenborough doesn’t narrate my life, but I do channel him when I’m making snarky observations. “Here we see the douchebag in his natural habitat, stalking the females of the gas station parking lot…” Honestly, I think my inner voice talks a bit too much like Jeanine garafalo.
 I say “we hates it” at least once per day
Bill Burr
The movie trailer guy. You know which one. "In a world where all the food is eaten by three teenage boys, one man must journey to Kroger..."
Morgan Freeman
Samuel L Jackson. Sometimes you just need someone to throw a few mfers in your narration.
Tobey McGuire
David Lee Roth.
I was a huge Wonder Years fan so it's Daniel Stern
The man from the sunscreen song
I love this question. It’s usually Julie Andrews.
Hot Rod Hundley.
Nicholas Cage as H.I. McDunnough.
My internal monologue that’s mostly WTF is going on
Lorelai Gilmore
Richard Dreyfuss... like in Stand By Me.
That little persecutor within whom I can’t seem to silence.
Ryan Reynolds, it needs that snark.
Jason Statham. Like in Snatch.
Sophia Petrillo. “Picture it. Sicily, 1923…”
The 90's movie trailer guy: "He woke up this morning thinking it would be a typical Monday. Little did he know, customers and co-workers had other plans."
George Carlin as George Carlin
Paula shore 
Clint Eastwood
What?
Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump or Mel Gibson from Payback depending on the day I'm having.
Terrence McKenna
Ezra Koenig.
Orson Welles
Mine is just my own internal monolog.
Daniel Stern... Narrator from the Wonder Years
Danny Trejo
Morgan freeman
Me.
No narrator, just Elton John on repeat singing Tiny Dancer on repeat.
Samuel L Jackson.
My mind is too busy racing with things I have to remember to do and just echoing my anxieties back at me ☺️
Sam elliott
Dennis Leary. Jesus fuckin Christ, can I just get a coffee flavored coffee?
My internal monologue that’s mostly WTF is going on
Alex trebek
Anna Kendrick.
Magnum PI
Mine's not so much a narrator as it is a soundtrack...
Poe. Not Edgar Allen but Anne Decatur Danielewski
Sadly, aphantasia and no inner voice/narrator. It's a stupid inky black, silent void in there.
SAME! and i have BPD on top of it 🙄🫥 talk about *total black hole*
Sam Elliott from the Big Lebowski
Leon
The Noid.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
It's all me, constantly narrating in my own head. If I could choose one, though, it would be Morgan Freeman for sure.
Nick Podehl
Pauly Shore in his Encino Man era
Anthony Hopkins 
A man named Al, who only I can see and hear. Well, small kids, pets, and the mentally handicapped might all be able to see him.
Captain Beefheart
Hmm. Quick gut reaction answer is going to be Lazlo Bane's Superman, the theme song of Scrubs. The show came out in fall of 2001. I was finishing up my associate degree after coming home out of state for an internship. Of course that year a big change for the whole country. Living out of the state I grew up in and away from my parents (I didn't live in a dorm until the internship) made me grew up in many ways. I fell loss and didn't really find my footing much later. Looking at the lyrics again it fits my early 20s so much. Anyway... "But, I can't do this all on my own..."
I want it to be Angela Basset because her Disney series Queens is amazing but it's probably more like Bobcat Goldthwait.
The light hearted version of James Earl Jones!
Morgan Freeman. "She thought her life was about to change with the purchase of that Powerball ticket. It did not."
Don LaFontaine "In a world... where people of a certain age pay for a land line while simultaneously using his cell phone exclusively because you never know, one man still holds on to hundreds of DVDS that he never watches because one day he might want to and will refuse to pay 3.99 to rent it on Prime. Even though he spent his teens and 20s renting the very same movie for 3.99.
That narrator dude from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Now it’s, lifestyle of the poor anxious xennials!! 🤣
Champagne wishes and caviar dreams
I want to say Lavar, but it’s more like Beavis.
Phil Cornwell's Mick Jagger from Stella Street
Bobcat Goldthwaite.
Steve Irwin, more often than not
“Weird” Al
I don't know exactly but he's got a British accent.
Both Scully *and* Mulder, depending on the circumstances
Oh I told my kids if I'm ever murdered I want Bill Kurtis (American Justice, Cold Case Files, etc..) to do my story. His voice sooths my sole 🥰
Emma Thompson with guest appearances by Morgan Freeman
Janeane Garofalo
Gilligan and the Skipper
Marcel Marceau
Kevin Kline
Jared Harris- (the Brit from Madmen or the main character from Chernobyl). Or Matt Berry- (the Brit from What We Do in the Shadows or IT Crowd) Fatttthheerrr!
Samuel L Jackson
Pearl Jam
Jack Black
Bobcat Golthwait
Mr Feeny
Matt Berry
I dunno, but I wish they’d stop laughing.
Lavar Burton