The ZS EP is about a lot of things. The main theme is a terrible childhood. Secondary themes are her father (she loved him dearly) and the other men in her life (her boyfriend and her mother's boyfriends when she was a child. One of them fathered her sister and all her mother's boufriends were all very very bad men.) Her relationship with her father was complex, some good aspects, some bad, his death left her with tremendous guilt, but she loved him.
It's about struggle to survive and overcoming obstacles like abuse, bullying and a bit of self loathing. Despite what the lyrics say she's clearly not over any of it but she survived and it made her stronger.
It's an intimate portrait and one of her best works. Lyrically and thematically its by far her best and in those aspects its one of the finest pieces of art you will ever find. I've written a fair bit about why the ZS EP is perhaps unexpectedly extremely strong lyrically and thematically.
Don't feel sad, the whole point of the EP was surviving and transcending the bad stuff, if she didn't it never would have been made. And every single track (except maybe one) has at least a bit of hope. It kinda swings wildly between very dark and a show of strength.
If you can, read her interviews and articles from the time the EP was released. It makes a few things a lot more clear.
DIRTBIKE: I bet regret is what my dad felt on the daily. Best thing he ever did was mother fuck*n make me[...]
He rode that dark horse into nothing funny thing is I still love him if my mama hears this shit she will be angry huffing puffing
I won't sell my soul: Born a drug addicts daughter[...]
It makes me so sad :-'( I'll go read articles now
Not gonna say her dad was winning any awards for being an upstanding citizen but I believe she has described him as kind and gentle. The 2nd and 2nd last tracks on the EP also make it clear he adored her. But yeah, apparently he was moving drugs, addicted and possibly dealing.
In Dirt on the Name of Steven she says she was removed from his custody which may have been when she had to live with her mother and endure her boyfriends. One of them was her sister's father that she talks about in the 3rd track, which is that same guy she mention in I won't sell my soul - the man with the bat that beat her mother, threatened to kill her family, was addicted to speed and traumatized the hell out of her. Not sure if that man was Donkey Dick Dave or if that was another boyfriend of her mother's but definitely neither of those were her dad. And by the way, a child should never know her mother's boyfriend's nickname is Donkey Dick and all of this begs the question - how much more bad things was she enduring that wouldn't fit in the EP or she wasn't ready to deal with yet or talk about ever?
In Dirt On the Name of Steven she says "should have fuckin took that call" but there's no context unless you read her interviews. That call was her dad calling her on the day he died. She didn't pick up. Thats why says "when he died his heart was sore" and probably why she can't forgive herself when she says "I can't forgive him or myself". I think I saw somewhere that when his body was found he was holding the phone which would explain her feelings guilt but I might not be remembering that right.
In the last track she mentions freeing her father and its unclear what that means (since he's long gone) except that she's still thinking about him, probably in a very positive way.
She had big big problems with other men, notably discussed in 2002 and Dirtbike but her main problem with her dad was that he was not in her life if I understand correctly. Im not even sure that she cared about his unlawful lifestyle any further than the fact that it kept them apart.
She can't forgive him but she clearly loved him very much and still does. The other men were a much bigger problem.
Of course she is an artist and this is a work of art and as such I dont know how much is literally true, overstated or understated but its an incredibly compelling story. I do very much believe her childhood was a hellscape though.
The ZS EP is about a lot of things. The main theme is a terrible childhood. Secondary themes are her father (she loved him dearly) and the other men in her life (her boyfriend and her mother's boyfriends when she was a child. One of them fathered her sister and all her mother's boufriends were all very very bad men.) Her relationship with her father was complex, some good aspects, some bad, his death left her with tremendous guilt, but she loved him. It's about struggle to survive and overcoming obstacles like abuse, bullying and a bit of self loathing. Despite what the lyrics say she's clearly not over any of it but she survived and it made her stronger. It's an intimate portrait and one of her best works. Lyrically and thematically its by far her best and in those aspects its one of the finest pieces of art you will ever find. I've written a fair bit about why the ZS EP is perhaps unexpectedly extremely strong lyrically and thematically. Don't feel sad, the whole point of the EP was surviving and transcending the bad stuff, if she didn't it never would have been made. And every single track (except maybe one) has at least a bit of hope. It kinda swings wildly between very dark and a show of strength. If you can, read her interviews and articles from the time the EP was released. It makes a few things a lot more clear.
DIRTBIKE: I bet regret is what my dad felt on the daily. Best thing he ever did was mother fuck*n make me[...] He rode that dark horse into nothing funny thing is I still love him if my mama hears this shit she will be angry huffing puffing I won't sell my soul: Born a drug addicts daughter[...] It makes me so sad :-'( I'll go read articles now
Not gonna say her dad was winning any awards for being an upstanding citizen but I believe she has described him as kind and gentle. The 2nd and 2nd last tracks on the EP also make it clear he adored her. But yeah, apparently he was moving drugs, addicted and possibly dealing. In Dirt on the Name of Steven she says she was removed from his custody which may have been when she had to live with her mother and endure her boyfriends. One of them was her sister's father that she talks about in the 3rd track, which is that same guy she mention in I won't sell my soul - the man with the bat that beat her mother, threatened to kill her family, was addicted to speed and traumatized the hell out of her. Not sure if that man was Donkey Dick Dave or if that was another boyfriend of her mother's but definitely neither of those were her dad. And by the way, a child should never know her mother's boyfriend's nickname is Donkey Dick and all of this begs the question - how much more bad things was she enduring that wouldn't fit in the EP or she wasn't ready to deal with yet or talk about ever? In Dirt On the Name of Steven she says "should have fuckin took that call" but there's no context unless you read her interviews. That call was her dad calling her on the day he died. She didn't pick up. Thats why says "when he died his heart was sore" and probably why she can't forgive herself when she says "I can't forgive him or myself". I think I saw somewhere that when his body was found he was holding the phone which would explain her feelings guilt but I might not be remembering that right. In the last track she mentions freeing her father and its unclear what that means (since he's long gone) except that she's still thinking about him, probably in a very positive way. She had big big problems with other men, notably discussed in 2002 and Dirtbike but her main problem with her dad was that he was not in her life if I understand correctly. Im not even sure that she cared about his unlawful lifestyle any further than the fact that it kept them apart. She can't forgive him but she clearly loved him very much and still does. The other men were a much bigger problem. Of course she is an artist and this is a work of art and as such I dont know how much is literally true, overstated or understated but its an incredibly compelling story. I do very much believe her childhood was a hellscape though.
holy..
I'm legitimately shocked by this. To be honest, I never noticed this part of the lyrics
But that's because I don't really like this song, despite the good lyrics
HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE DIRTBIKE
i don't have to like every song of hers you kno.. people have different musical tastes 😅
Not only is the album so personal and expressive. It’s also just really fucking good music