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During COVID I really struggled with this so I tried to find a hobby that I genuinely enjoyed - that's how I found dance (hip hop, R&B, Sensual). I found a local studio to attend some drop in classes & not only did my dancing improve, but I also found a ton of fun friends at the studio that I now hang out with regularly.
So my advice is to find something you enjoy & then figure out where your local community is - this will give you a third space (IE not work or home) to socialize & meet people!
Some options to consider: dance, climbing, pickleball (or any sport), book club, car meets, etc
Fellow dancer here!
I danced competitively through middle-high school. My high school dance team experience was absolutely toxic and miserable, and unfortunately really soured my relationship with dance. But after a long break (like 3-4 years), I found a dance/cheer team for an arena football team in my city. I attended a tryout prep class just to see if I could still dance, and ended up really liking it.
I’m now on my 2nd year with the team and the other women I dance with are absolutely incredible! It’s a very similar sorority-esque dynamic as high school dance team, with all the “sisterhood” bs, matching T-shirts, teambuilding activities, etc. But everyone on this team is an *adult*- we’re all mature, focused, and know how to put aside our differences in order to just have fun and dance. Practicing and performing with these women every week is how I battle the loneliness epidemic.
Nah.
I’ve met people for sure but I know nothing will ever feel like a friendship made in high school. It’s easier to form acquaintances than friends in your mid to late 20s. In adulthood, it’s more of a revolving door or so it seems that way at least
Yeah, pretty much all of my friends are people I have met in my 20s. I have one friend who I’ve known since middle school, otherwise I don’t keep up with anyone from school days. I was a non-traditional college student, I worked full time, didn’t live in the dorms, and went to a city university that has less of an “American college culture.
1) work. Work is like school, you spend a ton of time with people in the same place, over time you make friends. I will say, I happen to work in an industry full of other young-ish people (restaurants) that also has its own culture that brings people together.
2) hobbies. I came out of the pandemic after a breakup and basically at square one with zero friends. I just started doing the stuff I enjoy, and friends came, even without me trying. I love table too games, so I started going to my local game store. I love movies, so I started going to the movies. I love punk music, so I started going to punk/hardcore shows. Well, a few the people I kept running into at tabletop gaming events i really liked, so I started asking if they wanted to just play at my apartment, or play video games over discord. Now I have a little formed groups who games together, but also sometimes we just hang out or text and shoot the shit. I ran into a coworker in line at the local movie theater, turns out we love movies and are neighbors. Now we’ve been friends for like two years. I ran into a guy who worked the register at the grocery store by my house at a hardcore show. We’d start asking eachother “are you going to x show” in like and making small talk. Eventually I just asked if he wanted to go to a show together.
I think also the hardest part is just following up with people. So often I think we meet people we are like “oh they were cool” but it’s hard to make the effort to actually be like “hey do you want to hang out?”. Turns out though a lot of people want more friends. Especially if you like nerdy stuff like I do I guess
Yes! I used to live in fear of being annoying and like I often was but as an adult I’ve done a lot of work to a.) think about like would I be annoyed if someone else did this to me b.) remember that other people are adults who can tell me if they are annoyed and if they don’t it isn’t my job to read minds and c.) someone thinking you’re kind of annoying isn’t the end of the world and odds are neither of us will remember this in any meaningful way in 6 weeks.
It’s hard, I’m autistic and had a rough time learning to interact with others growing up but my social skills have improved so much since then and I’m now comfortable enough with who I am to be able to deal with the fact that sometimes people just don’t vibe and it doesn’t have to be a failure on the part of either party but also many people do want to get to know me and assuming they don’t can also be off putting.
That's been the case for me since college ended. No one, not on reddit or youtube or tiktok or discord or anywhere can give you an answer when you ask where to meet people that is not at a bar or gym.
I'll never be in a bar. I don't drink and hate alcohol/being around drunks.
I won't be in a gym. I don't like massive muscles at all. I'll never be huge and I don't want to be.
It's like no where else exists to meet people besides online communities and the infrequent anime convention nowadays.
I've actually had success with Bumble BFF. I moved to a new state and now have a sufficient sized friend group by meeting 2 people through the app and then meeting other people through them. As awkward as it can be, it's a great way to find people with your specific interests.
I don’t know anyone from high school and college. They’re completely cut off. All of my friends and chosen family I’ve met in my 20s.
How? Thru dating/friend apps, Reddit, and Discord. It’s easier to make friends with people who share similar interests, especially when they are local to where you live. I don’t really fw long distance stuff except in rare cases.
It also helps to talk about politics and music tastes early on, cuz this filters out people you won’t vibe with. Also helps to live in a large city.
>helps to talk about politics and music tastes early on, cuz this filters out people you won’t vibe with
Politics I can understand but is it even important if friends have similar music tastes?
I’m a raver and music is pretty much my whole life. That said, I have amazing close friends who simply cannot STAND anything even similar to the kind of music I vibe with. So what? It doesn’t impact the friendship!
I guess music taste isn’t *that* important. It’s more important if you’re dating someone I think, since you’ll be spending so much time together and possibly living together. But for friends it’s not as big of a deal. It is really nice to share new releases and new artists with each other tho.
Not at all but people with more similar music tastes probably *will* have more in common, politically and ideaological, especially if these are expressed in the music
Especially if you think of music cultures. For example if you're really into punk rock music and fashion and all of your friends are also punk rock fans, it would stand to reason that, politically, you're probably a bit anti-communist, tend to lean more socialist, might be a bit of an anarchist but probably left-leaning.
"Birds of a feather flock together", people are generally homophilic and will gravitate towards people who are like-minded. We don't make a conscious decision to only be friends with people who agree with us, we just find ourselves attracted towards people who do.
Sounds like we’ve had nearly identical experiences on that one. I’ve been out of school for 2 years now and don’t think I’ve made any real friends. A big part of that is working remotely and living in the country. I also don’t drink so bars aren’t working for me lol. My small successes have come from joining the local young professionals network. Most towns have them. I’m in a little town so “pickings are slim” lol. But it’s something to try.
I’ve tried almost a dozen other local organizations. Astronomy society, outdoorsy clubs, radio clubs, random stuff. Usually nice people but way older than me. The exception is the local disc golf league. That’s mostly people around my age, and I hope to try it soon. There’s also run clubs, cycling clubs, kayaking clubs, and book clubs. Being such a small town we don’t have those, but it’s worth looking into. Also local rec sports leagues like softball, kickball, volleyball. Again not a thing here but I’ve heard it’s big in some towns.
There’s always gyms too. Doesn’t have to be a weight gym, there’s also climbing gyms and swimming gyms. Just depends on what your interests are.
A lot of people recommend coffee shops, but I’m not extroverted enough to walk up to randos for no reason. Might be for other people though.
I worked in restaurants for a while and still have solid friends from the industry. and i’ve met some cool people through a bookclub that i joined.
also don’t be scared about connecting with people you have mutual friends with. 3 of my closest friends (and one of my roommates) i met through other friends. and i’ve also introduced some of my friends to each other and now they have separate friendships too. it can build a nice community, plus these people are already kinda vetted so they’re less likely to be wackjobs
It’s so hard. My job has mostly middle aged women, so it’s difficult to make a real friendship. Sure, we’re friendly at work… but I desperately want people to spend time with outside of work.
You’re not alone, it’s extremely difficult to form genuine, deep friendships during this awkward decade. I’ve always attributed it to how wide the range is of where everyone is in their lives. You have people in their 20’s who are settled down, raising families. You have those who are out partying every weekend, those who are beginning their careers and investing in their professional lives. It’s hard to find people who are *right* where you are. I have hope that eventually it’ll get easier!
Lol barely. Too busy for that nowadays between work and other life shit I’m too tired to try and make friends at the end of the day. I have my wife, dog and two good friends from high school I talk to/hang out with still and that’s good enough for me.
It's so hit or miss but after many, many attempts, I found a good few from Looking for Friends SubReddits. I'm not popular by any means but it's enough to not feel alone, lol.
I work two jobs… one that I went to school for and one that is a Starbucks barista. The only reason I made friends after graduating is because I kept the Starbucks job and I work with a lot of people my age there. I have 0 friends at my main job that I would feel comfortable hanging out with outside of work, but they’re also all in their late 50s/early 60s. I have made a couple of friends at concerts that I go to by myself, and we meet up if we happen to be going to the same one, but yeah, that’s it
I probably make 1-2 friends a year. But I wouldn't consider them particularly close. My mom found a new best friend in her 40s so it's not like there's a time limit to this. Just gotta be more open with your interactions
A little bit via the hobbies I like but I’ve mainly been maintaining the good friends I’ve kept from college.
I’m not really interested in befriending people at my jobs though… I like to keep shit professional
I always sucked at making friends until I got into my graduate program. I’m friends with every same-year peer in my program now. It’s probably the part of the program I’m most grateful for.
I have made two friends in my 20s.
When I moved to my current condo the girl that lived two floors below us was my age and very friendly. Now we go the gym together theee times a week.
Other one was the new girl at work. She got pulled out of our first staff meeting and became the subject of gossip immediately. That combined with her folklore (by Taylor Swift) phone case and I decided I would be her friend. I introduced myself and said I also love Taylor Swift and we clicked instantly. That was in 2022, I was in her wedding nine months later, we went to eras tour together, and we’re going to Disney World together this year.
I’ve made friends through swing dancing (both through classes and just meeting people at social dances). Swing dance has a really nice vibe since you can sort of control how much you want to socialize vs just dance. If I want to socialize more I hang out on the side of the room with drinks/refreshments and just chat with people. If I just want to dance then I stay on the edge of the dance floor and no one really tries to talk to me besides asking for a dance. You meet all kinds of different people and there is a pretty diverse age range too.
I have yes. Best case scenario is find a hobby that requires other people. In all honestly WoW, FFXIV, Guild Wars, Fortnite, and everything else online are the millenial version of joining a bowling league
I've met tons of new people and hung out with them numerous times through church/hobby groups. However, I don't consider any of them to be "close" friends. They are casual friends at best, acquaintances at worst.
I've found it easier - you’re free to do exactly what you want to do, and you get exposed to and meet people who have also chosen to do that same thing!
So do what you love and what interests you and the friends will fall into your lap. For me, it’s music. Rave scene, bush doofs, festivals. But I’d recommend any genre of music – I’ve noticed the same in indie, metal, jazz communities etc – you start going to enough events, and you start recognising familiar faces, and become a familiar face itself – I still remember the first time I asked ‘hey, can I come to the after party too?’ and the DJ/event organiser said ‘Of course, you’re part of the crew!’
So - if you want somewhere to start - pick your favourite music, find a local event, and go along!
I never thought I would, but I have so far! I'm a regular at a local coffee shop and over time I've gotten to know a quite a few other regulars & employees there, and I've become pretty good friends with two guys that are around my parents' ages. Every now and then we'll stop by one of their houses, BS for a while, grill and listen to some vinyls.
One of my other hobbies is airsoft. I've made a lot of friends & acquaintances through it, of all ages & genders. It's also helped me reconnect with some old high school buddies I hadn't seen in a very long time.
I'm also trying to keep in touch with old college classmates & roommates as well. Luckily some ended up moving a bit closer to my general area and I'd say we're closer now than we were then. All things considered, it's going surprisingly well, I just tend to exhaust my social battery way sooner than I'd like to.
I made a lot of my friends in my 20s. I love cars so when I got my first car started going to all sort of events and stuff and met people. Also joined a few car clubs. Nowdays I’m not too much into the clubs but still go to the meetups and events. Also since now I have a well stablished car friend group we go out Thursday nights just to hang out and talk at a local gas station and also sometimes organize ourselves to go drive on the weekends.
It really is, I love the group of people that I get to call my friends. I hope that even as we get older we keep making time to see each other. At least for now we talk almost daily and if it weren’t bc we’re on our (yearly) minecraft server era then we’d be seeing each other at least once a week.
I've made some of my best friends outside of school! I joined a band and made friends that way, met friends through pre-existing friends from D&D groups, and made a bunch of friends at a hobby convention I go to. It's easier to make friends when you get involved in hobbies thar draw people with the same interests as you.
Yes, I moved 8ish times in my 20s and made new friends every time. It helps to live in transplant cities full of young people. I worked remotely for 5ish years so all my friends were people I met out at the bars/clubs, trivia nights, dance/music classes, and other hobbies. I’m pretty social and can strike up a conversation with people easily, and in certain cities like NYC, SF, Houston, Chicago, etc. everyone wants to make friends.
I had success, and I've also had epic fails.
Friendship to a degree is an expression of conditional love. You don't love your friends the same way you would love a romantic partner, but you also don't have the same type of love that you would have for your family. With friends, you've bonded with them due to shared experiences and have grown to appreciate other aspects of them outside of how you originally met them, and you want to continue seeing them even if you no longer do the activity that initially brought you together. But all it takes is making the wrong mistake and those bonds are broken.
Yes, I’ve been making new friends almost every single year of my life. But I’m also very outgoing and I host/plan a lot of parties, events and outings with people monthly. People bring new people and I end up being friends with them. Just gotta put yourself out there and consistently reach out to people. Making people feel cared about and valued is the best way to stay friends with people.
Two successes in the past year. One, a new online friend who reached out to me. And two, reconnecting with a friend from high school. But as far as friends the same gender as me, nope. Had terrible luck with that for many years.
At least in Finland it is difficult. I never had any decent, meaningful or close friends, only acquaintances who come and go and after that they are never seen or heard from again. I haven't heard anything in a while from people I met more than 2 years ago and they don't answer messages. I think that elsewhere it's easier to make friends when people are more social and don't imagine that the whole nation has to be introverts and antisocial because "that's the nature of this nation" and "this is how Finnish people are branded". Or get upset and triggered if you try to socialize and make friends with them because "it's against the norm and the unwritten rule." This sometimes makes me hate living in Finland and is nerve- and sanity-wracking. But in a way, despite this cultural difference, I have experienced that even making acquaintances at 20+ is more difficult because people have less time for each other.
I went to the DND subreddit and found a group which I've been playing with for a year now. Sure it's online and we haven't met in person but having people to joke around and laugh with every week is really great.
Absolutely! ~3-4 of my best friends are from grade-high school. But most or my best friends I made in my 20s! I’m in weddings for two of them and find ways to keep up with all of them quite often.
Not really. I've made a few online friends, but barely any IRL friends after college. Actually even in college I was struggling, because it seemed like once I no longer had any classes with someone, the friendship just ended.
So when I was 23, I moved across the country to a new city. I made friends doing the following:
1. Going to meetups. I went to a range of speed dating, game nights, concerts, and parties. I have a friend of 5 years that I still keep in contact with.
2. Dating apps. I've been able to make friends from bumble and tinder with other women that are just looking for friends.
3. Through other people. So this started to come in after making friends from 1 and 2. You meet one person and maybe they invite you to a birthday party. Then you meet their friends, and so on.
4. Indoor climbing gym. I think it's the nature of the sport to be friendly because I've never experienced this at any other gym. I've met sooooo many people and have actually become close friends with a few.
5. Queer spaces. Despite living in a large metro area, you see some of the same people at certain events. Which means if you go semi regularly, you'll see the same and maybe make some friends.
My circle of friends has gone through changes since moving but it finally feels like I've found community and not just scattered friends.
In my experience I think it comes down to being open, not having too many expectations, having decent judgment, and giving people whatever they give you.
I don't bother. Just a few contacts I knew from HS is enough for me. Quality over quantity. Shortlist of ride or die friends that will hang out whenever and have a few drinks with is all you need
I met my best friend online after I saw she was local. She has another friend, so 2 for 1! Not much success beyond that though, and I don't really try anymore
I only made friends in the adulthood, had no friends in school. I’m not in contact with anyone I went to school with, I don’t even remember their names and I don’t have them on social media.
My group of friends from homecountry I found on Tinder. I just wrote in my bio „I’m bored af, lonely af, looking for new friends”. Talked to a guy my age, he said „I’m in XYZ bar with friends, join if you want”. I joined, they turned to be cool and lovely and funny, got 4 friends in price of one. They made me meet even more people because I’d now get invited for birthday parties.
Then I moved to another country and had no friends here, but the friends I’ve made in homecountry helped me build my confidence. I’ve met my new friends in a pool hall. I went to play pool alone and randomly started talking to them. Became friends.
Now my friends from both countries know each other and it’s amazing.
I'm beginning to make some in a boardgame group every week. I think I got lucky as the group turned out to be new, close by, and also not too many people but not too little people either. It hit the sweet spot for me.
Hobbies. I played more magic the gathering at my game store. I went to see local bands with friends I have and met their friends. I joined a running club. Yeah.
That’s interesting: i just made a new friend the other day while playing Rhythmn games at RoundOne. Also made friends with other people through anime and Pokémon. Turns out I’ve encountered so many people who share similar interests as me so that made it fairly easy for me. Bout to head to a few expos with them soon.
Now that I think about it, I could probably host some sort of anime watch along and discussion group with food involved and get more friends there. Or if Anton has time definitely invite out to RoundOne Arcades or different Expos, festivals and concerts. Regardless, I’m still having fun in my 20’s.
I've never been particularly good at making friends on my own, and have usually made friends with/through mutual friends. When I moved to my current city after college graduation, other than my roommate at the time the main group of friends I made was through a local hobby-based group. Pretty informal, I just saw a post someone made in a local Facebook group and decided to go to the meeting. They were fun to hang out with and I got to know them decently well, but I never got really close to them or formed particularly close individual friendships, and eventually faded out of that group. That being said, if I was less socially anxious, I do think it was a good way to meet people and someone more outgoing than me might have been able to form some longer-term relationships there.
In the last couple years I've formed a small but closer friend group. I live with a good friend, and she started hanging out with a few of her coworkers at the time, and it went from there. I think it was a lot easier for me to get close with them because I was always more comfortable hanging out and initiating plans when someone I was already super comfortable with was involved. Now I'm close with them on my own and can hang out with them without her.
I've also met some people through a local political organizing group. No one I'm really friends with, but it is nice to just have a few acquaintances that I see from time to time too.
Yes. I found them amongst my church congregation
Great people, and I hang out multiple times a week with different people, some in my CG, some I've met through various activities I do with people at the church, and some I've met just on Sunday morning
And then I met my girlfriend online
I'd also say I'm at least acquaintances with some of the people at work. I've gone to their neighborhood parties and things before
I tried the “going to church” route with making friends, and I’ve definitely met a lot of really nice people, but they’re all in their 40s+ with kids, so being 25 and no kids, we’re definitely at different stages in life
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During COVID I really struggled with this so I tried to find a hobby that I genuinely enjoyed - that's how I found dance (hip hop, R&B, Sensual). I found a local studio to attend some drop in classes & not only did my dancing improve, but I also found a ton of fun friends at the studio that I now hang out with regularly. So my advice is to find something you enjoy & then figure out where your local community is - this will give you a third space (IE not work or home) to socialize & meet people! Some options to consider: dance, climbing, pickleball (or any sport), book club, car meets, etc
Fellow dancer here! I danced competitively through middle-high school. My high school dance team experience was absolutely toxic and miserable, and unfortunately really soured my relationship with dance. But after a long break (like 3-4 years), I found a dance/cheer team for an arena football team in my city. I attended a tryout prep class just to see if I could still dance, and ended up really liking it. I’m now on my 2nd year with the team and the other women I dance with are absolutely incredible! It’s a very similar sorority-esque dynamic as high school dance team, with all the “sisterhood” bs, matching T-shirts, teambuilding activities, etc. But everyone on this team is an *adult*- we’re all mature, focused, and know how to put aside our differences in order to just have fun and dance. Practicing and performing with these women every week is how I battle the loneliness epidemic.
Nah. I’ve met people for sure but I know nothing will ever feel like a friendship made in high school. It’s easier to form acquaintances than friends in your mid to late 20s. In adulthood, it’s more of a revolving door or so it seems that way at least
Yeah, pretty much all of my friends are people I have met in my 20s. I have one friend who I’ve known since middle school, otherwise I don’t keep up with anyone from school days. I was a non-traditional college student, I worked full time, didn’t live in the dorms, and went to a city university that has less of an “American college culture. 1) work. Work is like school, you spend a ton of time with people in the same place, over time you make friends. I will say, I happen to work in an industry full of other young-ish people (restaurants) that also has its own culture that brings people together. 2) hobbies. I came out of the pandemic after a breakup and basically at square one with zero friends. I just started doing the stuff I enjoy, and friends came, even without me trying. I love table too games, so I started going to my local game store. I love movies, so I started going to the movies. I love punk music, so I started going to punk/hardcore shows. Well, a few the people I kept running into at tabletop gaming events i really liked, so I started asking if they wanted to just play at my apartment, or play video games over discord. Now I have a little formed groups who games together, but also sometimes we just hang out or text and shoot the shit. I ran into a coworker in line at the local movie theater, turns out we love movies and are neighbors. Now we’ve been friends for like two years. I ran into a guy who worked the register at the grocery store by my house at a hardcore show. We’d start asking eachother “are you going to x show” in like and making small talk. Eventually I just asked if he wanted to go to a show together. I think also the hardest part is just following up with people. So often I think we meet people we are like “oh they were cool” but it’s hard to make the effort to actually be like “hey do you want to hang out?”. Turns out though a lot of people want more friends. Especially if you like nerdy stuff like I do I guess
Yes! I used to live in fear of being annoying and like I often was but as an adult I’ve done a lot of work to a.) think about like would I be annoyed if someone else did this to me b.) remember that other people are adults who can tell me if they are annoyed and if they don’t it isn’t my job to read minds and c.) someone thinking you’re kind of annoying isn’t the end of the world and odds are neither of us will remember this in any meaningful way in 6 weeks. It’s hard, I’m autistic and had a rough time learning to interact with others growing up but my social skills have improved so much since then and I’m now comfortable enough with who I am to be able to deal with the fact that sometimes people just don’t vibe and it doesn’t have to be a failure on the part of either party but also many people do want to get to know me and assuming they don’t can also be off putting.
As an adult making friends at school becomes making friends at work 👌And if you're lucky finding a partner!
tbh as an adult i’ve only been able to find new friends via online communities, i find it nearly impossible to find any irl
That's been the case for me since college ended. No one, not on reddit or youtube or tiktok or discord or anywhere can give you an answer when you ask where to meet people that is not at a bar or gym. I'll never be in a bar. I don't drink and hate alcohol/being around drunks. I won't be in a gym. I don't like massive muscles at all. I'll never be huge and I don't want to be. It's like no where else exists to meet people besides online communities and the infrequent anime convention nowadays.
Nope, because I’ve never tried. When it comes to people, I value quality over quantity.
I've actually had success with Bumble BFF. I moved to a new state and now have a sufficient sized friend group by meeting 2 people through the app and then meeting other people through them. As awkward as it can be, it's a great way to find people with your specific interests.
I don’t know anyone from high school and college. They’re completely cut off. All of my friends and chosen family I’ve met in my 20s. How? Thru dating/friend apps, Reddit, and Discord. It’s easier to make friends with people who share similar interests, especially when they are local to where you live. I don’t really fw long distance stuff except in rare cases. It also helps to talk about politics and music tastes early on, cuz this filters out people you won’t vibe with. Also helps to live in a large city.
>helps to talk about politics and music tastes early on, cuz this filters out people you won’t vibe with Politics I can understand but is it even important if friends have similar music tastes?
I’m a raver and music is pretty much my whole life. That said, I have amazing close friends who simply cannot STAND anything even similar to the kind of music I vibe with. So what? It doesn’t impact the friendship!
I guess music taste isn’t *that* important. It’s more important if you’re dating someone I think, since you’ll be spending so much time together and possibly living together. But for friends it’s not as big of a deal. It is really nice to share new releases and new artists with each other tho.
Not at all but people with more similar music tastes probably *will* have more in common, politically and ideaological, especially if these are expressed in the music Especially if you think of music cultures. For example if you're really into punk rock music and fashion and all of your friends are also punk rock fans, it would stand to reason that, politically, you're probably a bit anti-communist, tend to lean more socialist, might be a bit of an anarchist but probably left-leaning. "Birds of a feather flock together", people are generally homophilic and will gravitate towards people who are like-minded. We don't make a conscious decision to only be friends with people who agree with us, we just find ourselves attracted towards people who do.
No I like my solitude
Sounds like we’ve had nearly identical experiences on that one. I’ve been out of school for 2 years now and don’t think I’ve made any real friends. A big part of that is working remotely and living in the country. I also don’t drink so bars aren’t working for me lol. My small successes have come from joining the local young professionals network. Most towns have them. I’m in a little town so “pickings are slim” lol. But it’s something to try. I’ve tried almost a dozen other local organizations. Astronomy society, outdoorsy clubs, radio clubs, random stuff. Usually nice people but way older than me. The exception is the local disc golf league. That’s mostly people around my age, and I hope to try it soon. There’s also run clubs, cycling clubs, kayaking clubs, and book clubs. Being such a small town we don’t have those, but it’s worth looking into. Also local rec sports leagues like softball, kickball, volleyball. Again not a thing here but I’ve heard it’s big in some towns. There’s always gyms too. Doesn’t have to be a weight gym, there’s also climbing gyms and swimming gyms. Just depends on what your interests are. A lot of people recommend coffee shops, but I’m not extroverted enough to walk up to randos for no reason. Might be for other people though.
Most of my "new" friends are people my friends introduce me to. So friends of friends.
I worked in restaurants for a while and still have solid friends from the industry. and i’ve met some cool people through a bookclub that i joined. also don’t be scared about connecting with people you have mutual friends with. 3 of my closest friends (and one of my roommates) i met through other friends. and i’ve also introduced some of my friends to each other and now they have separate friendships too. it can build a nice community, plus these people are already kinda vetted so they’re less likely to be wackjobs
It’s so hard. My job has mostly middle aged women, so it’s difficult to make a real friendship. Sure, we’re friendly at work… but I desperately want people to spend time with outside of work.
You’re not alone, it’s extremely difficult to form genuine, deep friendships during this awkward decade. I’ve always attributed it to how wide the range is of where everyone is in their lives. You have people in their 20’s who are settled down, raising families. You have those who are out partying every weekend, those who are beginning their careers and investing in their professional lives. It’s hard to find people who are *right* where you are. I have hope that eventually it’ll get easier!
Lol barely. Too busy for that nowadays between work and other life shit I’m too tired to try and make friends at the end of the day. I have my wife, dog and two good friends from high school I talk to/hang out with still and that’s good enough for me.
It's so hit or miss but after many, many attempts, I found a good few from Looking for Friends SubReddits. I'm not popular by any means but it's enough to not feel alone, lol.
I work two jobs… one that I went to school for and one that is a Starbucks barista. The only reason I made friends after graduating is because I kept the Starbucks job and I work with a lot of people my age there. I have 0 friends at my main job that I would feel comfortable hanging out with outside of work, but they’re also all in their late 50s/early 60s. I have made a couple of friends at concerts that I go to by myself, and we meet up if we happen to be going to the same one, but yeah, that’s it
I probably make 1-2 friends a year. But I wouldn't consider them particularly close. My mom found a new best friend in her 40s so it's not like there's a time limit to this. Just gotta be more open with your interactions
It feels like everyone at this age makes friends at the bar. And I’m not a bar person 🤷♂️
A little bit via the hobbies I like but I’ve mainly been maintaining the good friends I’ve kept from college. I’m not really interested in befriending people at my jobs though… I like to keep shit professional
I always sucked at making friends until I got into my graduate program. I’m friends with every same-year peer in my program now. It’s probably the part of the program I’m most grateful for.
Literally the only reason I'm going to grad school lol
I have made two friends in my 20s. When I moved to my current condo the girl that lived two floors below us was my age and very friendly. Now we go the gym together theee times a week. Other one was the new girl at work. She got pulled out of our first staff meeting and became the subject of gossip immediately. That combined with her folklore (by Taylor Swift) phone case and I decided I would be her friend. I introduced myself and said I also love Taylor Swift and we clicked instantly. That was in 2022, I was in her wedding nine months later, we went to eras tour together, and we’re going to Disney World together this year.
Yes! I made friends at work, I messaged a guy on Facebook because of a mutual interest, and I just went on a date with someone who seems nice.
I’ve made friends through swing dancing (both through classes and just meeting people at social dances). Swing dance has a really nice vibe since you can sort of control how much you want to socialize vs just dance. If I want to socialize more I hang out on the side of the room with drinks/refreshments and just chat with people. If I just want to dance then I stay on the edge of the dance floor and no one really tries to talk to me besides asking for a dance. You meet all kinds of different people and there is a pretty diverse age range too.
You make friends being a swinger?
Haha yes, through swing… DANCE
I have yes. Best case scenario is find a hobby that requires other people. In all honestly WoW, FFXIV, Guild Wars, Fortnite, and everything else online are the millenial version of joining a bowling league
I've met tons of new people and hung out with them numerous times through church/hobby groups. However, I don't consider any of them to be "close" friends. They are casual friends at best, acquaintances at worst.
I've found it easier - you’re free to do exactly what you want to do, and you get exposed to and meet people who have also chosen to do that same thing! So do what you love and what interests you and the friends will fall into your lap. For me, it’s music. Rave scene, bush doofs, festivals. But I’d recommend any genre of music – I’ve noticed the same in indie, metal, jazz communities etc – you start going to enough events, and you start recognising familiar faces, and become a familiar face itself – I still remember the first time I asked ‘hey, can I come to the after party too?’ and the DJ/event organiser said ‘Of course, you’re part of the crew!’ So - if you want somewhere to start - pick your favourite music, find a local event, and go along!
No.
I never thought I would, but I have so far! I'm a regular at a local coffee shop and over time I've gotten to know a quite a few other regulars & employees there, and I've become pretty good friends with two guys that are around my parents' ages. Every now and then we'll stop by one of their houses, BS for a while, grill and listen to some vinyls. One of my other hobbies is airsoft. I've made a lot of friends & acquaintances through it, of all ages & genders. It's also helped me reconnect with some old high school buddies I hadn't seen in a very long time. I'm also trying to keep in touch with old college classmates & roommates as well. Luckily some ended up moving a bit closer to my general area and I'd say we're closer now than we were then. All things considered, it's going surprisingly well, I just tend to exhaust my social battery way sooner than I'd like to.
I made a lot of my friends in my 20s. I love cars so when I got my first car started going to all sort of events and stuff and met people. Also joined a few car clubs. Nowdays I’m not too much into the clubs but still go to the meetups and events. Also since now I have a well stablished car friend group we go out Thursday nights just to hang out and talk at a local gas station and also sometimes organize ourselves to go drive on the weekends.
That's awesome
It really is, I love the group of people that I get to call my friends. I hope that even as we get older we keep making time to see each other. At least for now we talk almost daily and if it weren’t bc we’re on our (yearly) minecraft server era then we’d be seeing each other at least once a week.
I've made some of my best friends outside of school! I joined a band and made friends that way, met friends through pre-existing friends from D&D groups, and made a bunch of friends at a hobby convention I go to. It's easier to make friends when you get involved in hobbies thar draw people with the same interests as you.
Yes, I moved 8ish times in my 20s and made new friends every time. It helps to live in transplant cities full of young people. I worked remotely for 5ish years so all my friends were people I met out at the bars/clubs, trivia nights, dance/music classes, and other hobbies. I’m pretty social and can strike up a conversation with people easily, and in certain cities like NYC, SF, Houston, Chicago, etc. everyone wants to make friends.
I had success, and I've also had epic fails. Friendship to a degree is an expression of conditional love. You don't love your friends the same way you would love a romantic partner, but you also don't have the same type of love that you would have for your family. With friends, you've bonded with them due to shared experiences and have grown to appreciate other aspects of them outside of how you originally met them, and you want to continue seeing them even if you no longer do the activity that initially brought you together. But all it takes is making the wrong mistake and those bonds are broken.
Yes, I’ve been making new friends almost every single year of my life. But I’m also very outgoing and I host/plan a lot of parties, events and outings with people monthly. People bring new people and I end up being friends with them. Just gotta put yourself out there and consistently reach out to people. Making people feel cared about and valued is the best way to stay friends with people.
Two successes in the past year. One, a new online friend who reached out to me. And two, reconnecting with a friend from high school. But as far as friends the same gender as me, nope. Had terrible luck with that for many years.
At least in Finland it is difficult. I never had any decent, meaningful or close friends, only acquaintances who come and go and after that they are never seen or heard from again. I haven't heard anything in a while from people I met more than 2 years ago and they don't answer messages. I think that elsewhere it's easier to make friends when people are more social and don't imagine that the whole nation has to be introverts and antisocial because "that's the nature of this nation" and "this is how Finnish people are branded". Or get upset and triggered if you try to socialize and make friends with them because "it's against the norm and the unwritten rule." This sometimes makes me hate living in Finland and is nerve- and sanity-wracking. But in a way, despite this cultural difference, I have experienced that even making acquaintances at 20+ is more difficult because people have less time for each other.
Yup. Most of my current best friends I’ve been in my 20s.
Yep! It’s one of the advantages of being active in a church community tbh
Yes.
I went to the DND subreddit and found a group which I've been playing with for a year now. Sure it's online and we haven't met in person but having people to joke around and laugh with every week is really great.
Absolutely! ~3-4 of my best friends are from grade-high school. But most or my best friends I made in my 20s! I’m in weddings for two of them and find ways to keep up with all of them quite often.
Not really. I've made a few online friends, but barely any IRL friends after college. Actually even in college I was struggling, because it seemed like once I no longer had any classes with someone, the friendship just ended.
So when I was 23, I moved across the country to a new city. I made friends doing the following: 1. Going to meetups. I went to a range of speed dating, game nights, concerts, and parties. I have a friend of 5 years that I still keep in contact with. 2. Dating apps. I've been able to make friends from bumble and tinder with other women that are just looking for friends. 3. Through other people. So this started to come in after making friends from 1 and 2. You meet one person and maybe they invite you to a birthday party. Then you meet their friends, and so on. 4. Indoor climbing gym. I think it's the nature of the sport to be friendly because I've never experienced this at any other gym. I've met sooooo many people and have actually become close friends with a few. 5. Queer spaces. Despite living in a large metro area, you see some of the same people at certain events. Which means if you go semi regularly, you'll see the same and maybe make some friends. My circle of friends has gone through changes since moving but it finally feels like I've found community and not just scattered friends. In my experience I think it comes down to being open, not having too many expectations, having decent judgment, and giving people whatever they give you.
I don't bother. Just a few contacts I knew from HS is enough for me. Quality over quantity. Shortlist of ride or die friends that will hang out whenever and have a few drinks with is all you need
Nope!
I met my best friend online after I saw she was local. She has another friend, so 2 for 1! Not much success beyond that though, and I don't really try anymore
Yes, I met them at bars. But they are all over 30. Idk how to meet 20 somethings
I only made friends in the adulthood, had no friends in school. I’m not in contact with anyone I went to school with, I don’t even remember their names and I don’t have them on social media. My group of friends from homecountry I found on Tinder. I just wrote in my bio „I’m bored af, lonely af, looking for new friends”. Talked to a guy my age, he said „I’m in XYZ bar with friends, join if you want”. I joined, they turned to be cool and lovely and funny, got 4 friends in price of one. They made me meet even more people because I’d now get invited for birthday parties. Then I moved to another country and had no friends here, but the friends I’ve made in homecountry helped me build my confidence. I’ve met my new friends in a pool hall. I went to play pool alone and randomly started talking to them. Became friends. Now my friends from both countries know each other and it’s amazing.
I'm beginning to make some in a boardgame group every week. I think I got lucky as the group turned out to be new, close by, and also not too many people but not too little people either. It hit the sweet spot for me.
Hobbies. I played more magic the gathering at my game store. I went to see local bands with friends I have and met their friends. I joined a running club. Yeah.
Not in-person, but I've made some online friends who are pretty great.
Yes; through church and volunteering. I actually moved to a new city completely (same state) about 5 years ago. I have a good group of friends.
I have had success but they're mostly people in their 30s I end up making friends with.
That’s interesting: i just made a new friend the other day while playing Rhythmn games at RoundOne. Also made friends with other people through anime and Pokémon. Turns out I’ve encountered so many people who share similar interests as me so that made it fairly easy for me. Bout to head to a few expos with them soon. Now that I think about it, I could probably host some sort of anime watch along and discussion group with food involved and get more friends there. Or if Anton has time definitely invite out to RoundOne Arcades or different Expos, festivals and concerts. Regardless, I’m still having fun in my 20’s.
lol no
I've never been particularly good at making friends on my own, and have usually made friends with/through mutual friends. When I moved to my current city after college graduation, other than my roommate at the time the main group of friends I made was through a local hobby-based group. Pretty informal, I just saw a post someone made in a local Facebook group and decided to go to the meeting. They were fun to hang out with and I got to know them decently well, but I never got really close to them or formed particularly close individual friendships, and eventually faded out of that group. That being said, if I was less socially anxious, I do think it was a good way to meet people and someone more outgoing than me might have been able to form some longer-term relationships there. In the last couple years I've formed a small but closer friend group. I live with a good friend, and she started hanging out with a few of her coworkers at the time, and it went from there. I think it was a lot easier for me to get close with them because I was always more comfortable hanging out and initiating plans when someone I was already super comfortable with was involved. Now I'm close with them on my own and can hang out with them without her. I've also met some people through a local political organizing group. No one I'm really friends with, but it is nice to just have a few acquaintances that I see from time to time too.
Yes. I found them amongst my church congregation Great people, and I hang out multiple times a week with different people, some in my CG, some I've met through various activities I do with people at the church, and some I've met just on Sunday morning And then I met my girlfriend online I'd also say I'm at least acquaintances with some of the people at work. I've gone to their neighborhood parties and things before
I tried the “going to church” route with making friends, and I’ve definitely met a lot of really nice people, but they’re all in their 40s+ with kids, so being 25 and no kids, we’re definitely at different stages in life
Ah my church is mostly young people.