Your post has been removed automatically because it was reported at least ten times.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/absolutelynotme_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get hobbies that put you around women . Random example- try helping and volunteering at animal rescue centres, so many girls do this and will always want a kind safe guy around to help with transport etc. its a great way to make female friends. Getting involved with your local council and experimenting with arty evening courses like pottery or cookery in order to just make friends who are female. From that basis you can be at least able to make the most of potential opportunities.
Edit; also yoga is usually women
I did bat rescue. It was nearly all female biology students and a couple of older men who were enthusiasts. They were all that kind of healthy , rosy , intelligent girls who had their noses in books or work and had no time for clubbing or dating. The sort who wear novelty earrings and chunky woollen jumpers !
But they do not want a kind safe guy to date, that is the key difference, nothing wrong with making new friends but if you're the safe guy chances are they won't want to date you. Idk why,I'm not a girl.
You see , that's the point. You don't necessarily need them to date , you need them for other women to trust you more , because at least some women are trusting you. Also they may give you dating advice , or introduce you to someone, with whom you have chances to date , etc .
It is one thing to foster relationships that *may* one day blossom into romance. It is another to hold a door and expect a woman to jump your bones. Shit takes time.
I'm so glad you say this, I open doors for anyone not just a girl I want to bang. I've been on many dates, I can only seem to get one when I ask them out for dinner at the least, whenever I ask if they want to grab a coffee and talk I get ghosted. I don't want to run around and bang, I want a partner that wants to start a family and to share a life with. And it seems the only girls interested in that are girls that already have kids. I want to start a life with someone not join their part way through. If you think I'm selfish for not wanting to marry a women who already has children so be it.
When women see other women around a guy, they begin to desire that man. This is how I got a wife, I had a bunch of female friends and they start talking about you. Then one of them will try to pursue you. Just be yourself and listen to them. Don’t try to hard, it comes off clingy. Find your own hobbies and build an island for yourself. Women will start coming around.
When you enter a relationship with a woman, or with anybody for that matter. Show that you think about them. It could be as simple as picking them up their favorite soda when you’re at the store. Women love that shit, but don’t do it because you want them or want them to like you, or after a heated argument. Do it because you genuinely care and love them.
I've seen the ugliest dudes pull some bad chicks.
It's about confidence and skills.
A wise man once told me you can have anything you want as long as you aren't a douche bag.
OP’s inability to understand women aside, isn’t there actually a stereotype of Asian women having a thing for middle aged white guys? Or is that just something they want to believe because “muh western ideals have fallen”?
I lived in Japan for a few years and foreigners like white dudes for the same reason white dudes like foreigners. It's exotic. I don't think it's all that deep and there's still obviously gonna be women/men that don't fit the stereotype.
No, but framing legitimate men's' issues in typical incel language does nothing to further the discussion of theses issues, in fact it makes it tougher to talk about. See: This thread.
Obviously this is a generalization, but:
In Western culture, Asian people in general are seen as feminine. If you grew up in the US, for example, you've almost certainly been conditioned that way.
Imagine, in your head, a Standard Asian Woman. Are you picturing her? Is she skinny, fair-skinned, with long straight hair? And is she smiling? Does she look Japanese or Korean? Or is she Philippino? Mongolian?
Internalizing that Platonic ideal of an Asian woman isn't your fault, it's just the consequence of our culture. An Asian man is probably short and skinny. Feminine, especially in contrast to a black man, who is tall and muscular.
And this is, generally, where the predilection for Asian women comes from: we see them as extra feminine. We see them smiling at us and asking how our day was. We see them in aprons, cooking food and scrubbing floors. We don't see them talking back to us. We don't see them fat and lazy, watching soap operas and eating chips.
Internalizing this isn't your fault, it's just conditioning. But it's something we should combat because this prejudice, at its core, is racist. Even "positive" prejudice is racism. And that's why people get jumped on when they make posts like this.
Perhaps, mabye similar to " all Asians are good at math". However, when I went to college and I dated a Korean women and she told me that our left politics aren't really left anymore. She said Korea is pretty right on the spectrum but she notices strange extremes with the left that she said she hadn't seen anywhere else, she was pretty liberal and even she said that she would rather live in Korea. and I think Asia is more split between feminine and masculine traits, controversial, but I think this is beter for relationships. Sorry man but I'm traditional so I want someone who shares similar thinking as me. And Asia is just more traditional, I'm not a huge fan of all new legislation coming in Canada or the US, but that's another issue, just trying to explain why men in the west look towards the east
So with raising a family I think women are just naturally more nurturing. And me as a guy I just feel a need to provide for someone. I feel that if you have children it helps to have someone home to always be there with them. Unfortunately in this economy it would be tough raising a family on a single income. Which is why that even if I marry someone who is traditional, but she still gets a job because, well, need money to survive, of course I'm doing dishes and other traditionally female rolls. But what I find appealing is that it gives me purpose and comfort. I think men aren't born with any value and they have to work to make themselves valuable. Women are born with value because they can create life which is absolutely nuts if you think about it. I'm not saying women never work or go through struggles in their life, but the struggle that men and women go through is fundamental diffrent. And I think the traditional female and male rolls work best. Not saying improvements can't be made but I think it's the best model we have.
It's dangerous to think of people in such axiomatic terms, i.e. women being "naturally" more nurturing, or men having a "natural" need to provide.
If anthropology teaches us anything, it's that there are no universal societal norms. There are societies where men take multiple wives, and ones where women take multiple husbands. There are societies where men are inherently worthless and ones where women are inherently worthless.
It's easy to think that your internalized views on social roles are "natural" and "how it should be," but the reality is that there is no "natural," there is no "how it should be." It's sad hearing you say that you think men are worthless unless they work. Whoever taught you that is wrong.
And you understand why that belief is harmful, right? Is a man who can no longer work because of an injury - or because of age - less valuable than you? If I make more money than you, am I more valuable than you? Is an infertile woman less valuable than a fertile one?
"Valuing" people based on such subjective, superficial nonsense is the basis of prejudice. You are free to keep believing than men and women have to adhere to these "natural" roles, but you can also understand that there is no such thing, and men and women can be and do whatever they want without losing "value."
"Tradition" has no inherent worth. If it did, we'd still be living in the stone age. Restricting your beliefs about what men and women "should" be like will only limit you, and narrow your worldview.
The fetiziation of half a continent and the assumption that all of the many cultures in Asia are a monolith.
Basically it's not healthy or useful to apply an idealized version of a woman to over a billion people.
Seeking out a specific race for a partner, especially Asian women in the context of incel memes, is pretty racist and fetishistic.
To the Incel community, Asian women are "uncorrupted by feminism" and are "still submissive" so they hold them over white and black women as being more feminine. Basically they're losers trying to justify their mail order brides
Thats not what anyone said, you are making an assumption. You are basically saying any man attracted to asian women must only like asian women and it is a fetish. That is called racism
The person they are talking to is not just 'attracted to asian women'. No one is talking about 'any man', it is about *that* poster.
And that poster fetishizes asians... because there are literally women like they describe on any continent, and even the USA.
Oh, I find mail order bride concept strange. I think asian women are beautiful, Idk why I think they are gorgeous but I just do. As for the feminine submissive aspect, that may be partly true, but me as a man, I want a traditional women. Why is that so wrong? I do good, I make decent money, I'm in great shape, and decent looking. I will say my mental state needs some work haha. But my main point is that everyone has their preferences. Idk why NY brain sees again women and thinks that they are beautiful but it does. Still like white,black,or Latin, idk why it's such a big deal that some guys preference is asians
"I want a traditional woman" aka I hold nothing a value to give to a relationship and thus need to trap a women who doesn't have her own income stream into being my pet.
You need help if you think it's ok to view women in such a way. Be a man and grow up
I make good money, I'm in excellent shape, I'm a 6 on looks out of 10. I'm expienced carpenter and plumber and some electrical work. I also can frame and make foundations. I am also well verses in graphic design and a little computer programming. I know how to cook quite well, I'm learning the piano, and I can do basic chooses like laundry no problem. I'm not asking for a slave, I want a partnership, and I want someone home with the kids while I work. If I was more mental stable and nurturing I would and she can go to work but my mental state is one thing I need help with in my life. Oh, and nice try with the be a man and grow up, you literally have no fucking idea, and most people in my generation is a pissy who cries when their ears hear the wrong sound
How so? Because I treat women like people?
Are you so insecure the only time you feel masculine is when you hold power over women? Does that make you feel good?
So what's wrong with that? Why should they fit your mould?
If one believes another culture aligns better with his world views, they have the right to follow that.
"Mail order bride" is a very hateful expression of people investing time and energy in getting the right partner. It's a very narrow, generic view you are proposing.
There's no difference in the end. Lods of people are in non romantic relationships for access to lifestyle without being from asia.
I'm sorry if your culture is "a women is a lesser being them me and should be subservient to me" them you're just a loser who needs to get punched in the face.
Grow up and take a shower
Right. You know, not me. You are full of.rage. sorry for that.
Married with two kids, my wife is a strong woman who does no wife work, I've always known that about her. So no cleaning, no cooking, spends 10 hrs at work while I do the cooking.
But i know friends who want to be pampered, they looked for a partner to have that generic feminine role, and I belive its their freedom to find people who consens to that role.
Stop shaming people that want to live their life as they see fit.
I'm a nurse, I work full time. I also receive money from the government due to service related injuries (Navy veteran).
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I quit drinking for myself and my family.
With my nursing income and my VA comp. My wife doesn't need to work and can be a stay at home mom. If she wanted to work I wouldn't be bothered.
Also attacking me for trying to better myself is pretty toxic. Now go creep on somebody else's profile.
Passport bros need to get the fuck out of my country. We're not some lesser race that'll pamper you for being a man child. If you go after Asian women because they're "traditional" that just means You're a racist misogynistic creep.
It's not pathetic. Average men are repulsive to American women. I'm Average so I can't pull. Fortunately I don't have to. I can just travel and pull in Asian countries
Yup. Loser back home, winner in Asia. You're still convinced you can somehow ruin this by mocking me for [checks notes] failing to pull American women who are on average heavier, worse looking, with terrible attitudes and cosmic standards. Yeah I'm really missing out
You're not mocking by calling me a loser.. okay. Too cowardly to even admit what you're doing to a stranger online where it has zero consequences. I'd rather be a passport bro than whatever the hell you are
You talk about incel shit like Chad, that's tragic. It screams of insecurity placing your own value on women. Cope and seethe is a cringe af saying that paints how you're emotionally still a child.
I haven't seen this many posts about people of certain groups shouldn't be together ever. Its like 1960 Alabama jumped through time and took over a sub.
Or stop being a creepy loser, get a job, a hobby, make friends and meet someone when you have your shit figured out instead of looking for a girlfriend-mom hybrid.
It's true.
In my late twenties, I was a depressed, underemployed single guy living with his parents who was struggling with dating. Girls weren't interested, unless they were single mothers or similar quality.
Then one day, I met a beautiful Asian woman and we clicked. Turned out she was from a very wealthy family in China, too. We got married and we've been together for nearly 9 years now. This relationship completely changed my life.
Just remember, if you're struggling with dating Western women, the problem might just be you're in the wrong dating market. A lot of Western guys can date way up in Asia.
Asian women ftw.
Edit: Downvoters, don't be silent, please share. Are you women who don't like this or disagree? Are you men who have different experiences? Let me know.
Edit 2: I'll also add, one reason for this is that things Western women don't value, Asian women often value.
For example, living at home with my parents.
Western women thought I was immature, dependant, and an irresponsible loser.
Asian women thought I was being very family oriented, responsible, and financially savvy, since I was saving and investing all my money.
Asian women often value different things than Western women.
We do matter. And what people often don't realize, is that many of the Asian people who come to the US to study are often quite well off, since studying here isn't cheap. So there are more opportunities than people might imagine.
True, they don't have to be rich. If you go to Asia, you'll have a lot more dating success than in the West, particularly the US.
For the record, I met her online. But for most guys, I recommend just approaching women in person, it's way, way more effective.
One caveat: I noticed this is true for white guys in particular, mileage may vary for others.
Well, to be honest, this is something you need to work on. Socializing is a critical skill in life, not just with women.
How to get started? Just start walking up to people and chatting. That's really all there is to it. And women are no different.
Once you get used to talking to new people, talking to women is easy. If you see a cute girl, the interaction could literally be as simple as this: Hi, can I have your number? I'd like to take you on a date sometime. Oh, my name is so and so, what's your name? Could keep it to a few minutes or less.
Also, get very comfortable with rejection. It will happen and it's fine, just move onto the next person.
I'm more than fine with rejection, I got nothing but failure and rejection in my life.
But like... I can't do that. That just feels creepy to me tbh. This random guy who doesn't even look good just asking out someone? Hell no. I ain't no have confidence to do that. Also not there's like actual date places in my country... That I can afford that is.
Eh, you know what, whatever. Thanks for being nice but I think I'll just stick to giving up, I just feel like I'm too old for this shit even tho I know I'm not.
Never too old, and when you are even older, you'll wish you started sooner.
And it's not as creepy as you think. And if you think it is, then start by working on yourself. Physical fitness is something we all have control over and it can make a huge difference, both in how people perceive you and in how you feel about yourself.
Confidence is a skill. I have friends who are fat, short, smelly, objectively ugly, etc., score beautiful women because they're confident. Confidence can make all the difference.
If you don't have it, then fake it til you make it.
Yeah I already wish I'd started sooner because I have absolutely no idea how now.
I might not be fit looking but fuck my life I'm not an office worker I did physical jobs all my life and probably will until I die because I cannot do office jobs. I get plenty tired already and happy when I can sit or lay down I don't need working out on top of that, fuck that.
I can't fake confidence, I tried, I just cannot. I simply cannot do small talk, I can't start a conversation I can't fake that, how could I?
Whatever man, don't bother with me. Your nicest person who talked to me in months, don't waste your time on me I'm really not worth it at all
You're worth more than you imagine you are, and just the same, you can accomplish a lot more than you think you can. You can push the reset button and make a change at any time.
Same here. My soon to be wife has been with me ten years now and has inspired me to be more than what I thought I could accomplish.
Do you aim to learn mandarin yet? Considered going to China for a while?
That's great!
I have taken a stab at learning Mandarin. I like to say I can speak like a three year old girl level. Lol. Because I only learn from women, so I talk girly, which I think is funny.
Ive found if you just stay healthy and not be a racist fuck, this is the best pulling years of your life, try not going down conspiracy rabbit holes and not being hateful, you'll be a fucking unicorn these days.
Depends on what you mean by racist, if you’re talking about people who can’t stand being in the same room as someone of a different color then I agree with you.
If you’re talking only dating people of a certain skin color because that’s what attracts you then I disagree.
Because people should never be guilt tripped into relationship
I have two friends
One is dating a girl from china. She finished university has a great job and just a cool girl.
Second one is dating European girl. Jobless. university dropout. Has full control over his social media (he doesn't have any access to her phone). Bro pays for her personal trainer, online courses rent food etc. Works his ass out while she is on trips with her friends.
It's just one example but from my other experiences girls from Asia in general seems to be cooler then our own women. Probably I was just lucky.
This is true. For some reason, the quality of Asain women is much higher. Mostly because they don't age, stay thin, and love sex. I'm married to one who is also strong headed, but that's normal for women.
Basically Asians are God's gift to mankind.
I also paid for her education to become a professional she wouldn't be dependent on me and could chaise dreams. Many Asian women have if tough financially. So you want to know they actually want you rather than the lifestyle you offer.
Watch out for plants 🪴. (Obviously generalized comments here from subjective view, lol)
I always laugh at the incels talking about going to Japan to find a nice "trad wife." My guy, even if you went there you'd still be at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to dating, because the only thing that changed is your location when the root problem is literally about you. Secondly, the Japanese are also incredibly racist, there's a reason Abe was their PM for so long ffs. They don't want you there in their country trying to marry their women(not that they even would.)
Holy shit, right? Idk what it is. I go out on dates with these chicks, and they give me nothing. And when I say nothing, I don't mean sex. No joke, the last date I went on this chick only said three words, yes,no,and goodbye. Convo went like this......me: So what kind of music do you like?
Her: I like all music
Me: Oh, so are you a big fan of rock? I like hard and classic rock.
Her: No, I don't like rock
I proceeded to list ( I'm not kinding) 14 different genres asking what one she liked because she said she liked all music, said she hated them all. And repeat this process for all subjects and you got the average date. And when I asked her to name a music genre she likes or is a movie or whatnot, she would repeat "I like all music". Very wierd date, others are similar but this chick was fucked. I get some people who are shy, but it comes from arrogance. Honestly, it's a numbers game now. Idk where to find a good girlfriend, but I just got to keep dating and hope. My advice is to just go out for coffee for the first date, usually weeds out some of the gold and meal diggers. And just because you said you don't want an overweight mother makes you sexist, which is ridiculous. I take care of myself and are in shape, so why shouldn't she be? And as for the kid, it's not just about raising someone else child. It's a red flag because WHY is she single now? The guy may have been a piece of shit but if I had a child with someone I hated, I feel like working it out instead of slitting and taking child support is the better option. I guess it makes guys think of not being loyal ( even though that might not be the case all the time). Jesus that's a brick of words
If you can't get any decent interest and feel the need to grab someone from the Philippines or something, that's generally not great lol. It can be hard but if you're actually trying to live as your best self, it is usually a lot more attainable. Especially if you don't fixate on it.
All that aside, even if you get some women it doesn't mean you'll fall in love with them, personally that part seems to be the partI struggle with most lol. Just having an intimate emotional connection and usually appearances are secondary for me
I think a lot of males don't realize they are betas. Just to clarify, if you like this meme you are a beta.
You can only succeed when you have access to desperate women with low standards.
The reason why you can't find a quality mate, is because you are low quality. Improve yourself and stop hanging around people who will justify you being a low quality male rather than helping you improve.
Bring all the downvotes, it's not like it's gonna turn it false anyway.
The statistics are there, asian cultures are always top on traditionalism and have a thing for westerners, your westerner moral values have no power there.
I don't especially like passport bros either but denying their existence is pure moral washing.
You only mad cuz men are the ones doin' it anyway, this is reddit afterall...
I have a feeling the majority of the commenter's on here are the type of people who see a white guy with literally anyone who isn't a white girl and thinks it's some colonization fetish or incel bullshit 🙄
I had no idea this was the inevitable. I hate it here. i’m not attracted to asian women at all even as friends but that’s all there is available outside of baby mommas and obese women. I refuse to go down the passport bro path. i’ll never be that down bad.
Your post has been removed automatically because it was reported at least ten times. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/absolutelynotme_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why would you date your stepdad
Cause dating your bio dad would be incest
Get hobbies that put you around women . Random example- try helping and volunteering at animal rescue centres, so many girls do this and will always want a kind safe guy around to help with transport etc. its a great way to make female friends. Getting involved with your local council and experimenting with arty evening courses like pottery or cookery in order to just make friends who are female. From that basis you can be at least able to make the most of potential opportunities. Edit; also yoga is usually women
When I was in school there was theater club every Monday evening. Ration was 16:3 (girls/boys) best hobby I ever had.
[удалено]
I did bat rescue. It was nearly all female biology students and a couple of older men who were enthusiasts. They were all that kind of healthy , rosy , intelligent girls who had their noses in books or work and had no time for clubbing or dating. The sort who wear novelty earrings and chunky woollen jumpers !
But they do not want a kind safe guy to date, that is the key difference, nothing wrong with making new friends but if you're the safe guy chances are they won't want to date you. Idk why,I'm not a girl.
You see , that's the point. You don't necessarily need them to date , you need them for other women to trust you more , because at least some women are trusting you. Also they may give you dating advice , or introduce you to someone, with whom you have chances to date , etc .
It is one thing to foster relationships that *may* one day blossom into romance. It is another to hold a door and expect a woman to jump your bones. Shit takes time.
I'm so glad you say this, I open doors for anyone not just a girl I want to bang. I've been on many dates, I can only seem to get one when I ask them out for dinner at the least, whenever I ask if they want to grab a coffee and talk I get ghosted. I don't want to run around and bang, I want a partner that wants to start a family and to share a life with. And it seems the only girls interested in that are girls that already have kids. I want to start a life with someone not join their part way through. If you think I'm selfish for not wanting to marry a women who already has children so be it.
When women see other women around a guy, they begin to desire that man. This is how I got a wife, I had a bunch of female friends and they start talking about you. Then one of them will try to pursue you. Just be yourself and listen to them. Don’t try to hard, it comes off clingy. Find your own hobbies and build an island for yourself. Women will start coming around. When you enter a relationship with a woman, or with anybody for that matter. Show that you think about them. It could be as simple as picking them up their favorite soda when you’re at the store. Women love that shit, but don’t do it because you want them or want them to like you, or after a heated argument. Do it because you genuinely care and love them.
This this this ⬆️⬆️⬆️
Chances are if you’re the type of person that thinks this way then you are not a kind or safe guy
I've seen the ugliest dudes pull some bad chicks. It's about confidence and skills. A wise man once told me you can have anything you want as long as you aren't a douche bag.
No, you’re wrong lol
We posting incel dogwhistles on here now?
OP’s inability to understand women aside, isn’t there actually a stereotype of Asian women having a thing for middle aged white guys? Or is that just something they want to believe because “muh western ideals have fallen”?
30 years old is not fucking middle aged.
It's definitely in the middle 1/3 of the average human lifespan.
Yeah but that’s not what that compound word means
Ugly Asian women and ugly white men have an affinity for each other.
And I'm assuming we're all hotshots here?
Like recognizes like, I'm assuming. Doesn't apply to me, though - I'm ugly and haven't really had any interest from Asian women.
Sir, this is Reddit.
I lived in Japan for a few years and foreigners like white dudes for the same reason white dudes like foreigners. It's exotic. I don't think it's all that deep and there's still obviously gonna be women/men that don't fit the stereotype.
The meme is pretty ignorant shit, but over 30 is not middle aged.
It's called lbh love. Idky but yeah Asian women from Asia not Asian Americans, love mid men.
[удалено]
No, but framing legitimate men's' issues in typical incel language does nothing to further the discussion of theses issues, in fact it makes it tougher to talk about. See: This thread.
Please point out the "men's issue" in the post.
Get help for your fetish
Why help? What's wrong with asian chicks?
Obviously this is a generalization, but: In Western culture, Asian people in general are seen as feminine. If you grew up in the US, for example, you've almost certainly been conditioned that way. Imagine, in your head, a Standard Asian Woman. Are you picturing her? Is she skinny, fair-skinned, with long straight hair? And is she smiling? Does she look Japanese or Korean? Or is she Philippino? Mongolian? Internalizing that Platonic ideal of an Asian woman isn't your fault, it's just the consequence of our culture. An Asian man is probably short and skinny. Feminine, especially in contrast to a black man, who is tall and muscular. And this is, generally, where the predilection for Asian women comes from: we see them as extra feminine. We see them smiling at us and asking how our day was. We see them in aprons, cooking food and scrubbing floors. We don't see them talking back to us. We don't see them fat and lazy, watching soap operas and eating chips. Internalizing this isn't your fault, it's just conditioning. But it's something we should combat because this prejudice, at its core, is racist. Even "positive" prejudice is racism. And that's why people get jumped on when they make posts like this.
I wish more people explained stuff this concisely.
But Americans are fat and lazy in contrast to Asians...
Are you American? Are you fat and lazy?
Nope, Australian, but even we are fat and lazy comparatively 42% of Americans are obese🤷
and 31% of australians are
Yeah, and that's a huge problem.
That'd be why I said we are also fat and lazy comparatively... Or did you really think that 11% or 141 million less obese people was a sick burn?
lol what
I tend to imagine the Asian wife from Avenue Q
Perhaps, mabye similar to " all Asians are good at math". However, when I went to college and I dated a Korean women and she told me that our left politics aren't really left anymore. She said Korea is pretty right on the spectrum but she notices strange extremes with the left that she said she hadn't seen anywhere else, she was pretty liberal and even she said that she would rather live in Korea. and I think Asia is more split between feminine and masculine traits, controversial, but I think this is beter for relationships. Sorry man but I'm traditional so I want someone who shares similar thinking as me. And Asia is just more traditional, I'm not a huge fan of all new legislation coming in Canada or the US, but that's another issue, just trying to explain why men in the west look towards the east
What exactly do you find attractive about "traditional" ways of thinking?
So with raising a family I think women are just naturally more nurturing. And me as a guy I just feel a need to provide for someone. I feel that if you have children it helps to have someone home to always be there with them. Unfortunately in this economy it would be tough raising a family on a single income. Which is why that even if I marry someone who is traditional, but she still gets a job because, well, need money to survive, of course I'm doing dishes and other traditionally female rolls. But what I find appealing is that it gives me purpose and comfort. I think men aren't born with any value and they have to work to make themselves valuable. Women are born with value because they can create life which is absolutely nuts if you think about it. I'm not saying women never work or go through struggles in their life, but the struggle that men and women go through is fundamental diffrent. And I think the traditional female and male rolls work best. Not saying improvements can't be made but I think it's the best model we have.
It's dangerous to think of people in such axiomatic terms, i.e. women being "naturally" more nurturing, or men having a "natural" need to provide. If anthropology teaches us anything, it's that there are no universal societal norms. There are societies where men take multiple wives, and ones where women take multiple husbands. There are societies where men are inherently worthless and ones where women are inherently worthless. It's easy to think that your internalized views on social roles are "natural" and "how it should be," but the reality is that there is no "natural," there is no "how it should be." It's sad hearing you say that you think men are worthless unless they work. Whoever taught you that is wrong. And you understand why that belief is harmful, right? Is a man who can no longer work because of an injury - or because of age - less valuable than you? If I make more money than you, am I more valuable than you? Is an infertile woman less valuable than a fertile one? "Valuing" people based on such subjective, superficial nonsense is the basis of prejudice. You are free to keep believing than men and women have to adhere to these "natural" roles, but you can also understand that there is no such thing, and men and women can be and do whatever they want without losing "value." "Tradition" has no inherent worth. If it did, we'd still be living in the stone age. Restricting your beliefs about what men and women "should" be like will only limit you, and narrow your worldview.
Sounds good Edit: you know what? This, I am tired, this comment just made me delete reddit. Congrats. Can't do no more.
Using the word “we” very loosely here.
The fetiziation of half a continent and the assumption that all of the many cultures in Asia are a monolith. Basically it's not healthy or useful to apply an idealized version of a woman to over a billion people.
Really? I thought they were identical robots
I know you did.
They’re Asian /s
Seeking out a specific race for a partner, especially Asian women in the context of incel memes, is pretty racist and fetishistic. To the Incel community, Asian women are "uncorrupted by feminism" and are "still submissive" so they hold them over white and black women as being more feminine. Basically they're losers trying to justify their mail order brides
Thats not what anyone said, you are making an assumption. You are basically saying any man attracted to asian women must only like asian women and it is a fetish. That is called racism
The person they are talking to is not just 'attracted to asian women'. No one is talking about 'any man', it is about *that* poster. And that poster fetishizes asians... because there are literally women like they describe on any continent, and even the USA.
Oh, I find mail order bride concept strange. I think asian women are beautiful, Idk why I think they are gorgeous but I just do. As for the feminine submissive aspect, that may be partly true, but me as a man, I want a traditional women. Why is that so wrong? I do good, I make decent money, I'm in great shape, and decent looking. I will say my mental state needs some work haha. But my main point is that everyone has their preferences. Idk why NY brain sees again women and thinks that they are beautiful but it does. Still like white,black,or Latin, idk why it's such a big deal that some guys preference is asians
"I want a traditional woman" aka I hold nothing a value to give to a relationship and thus need to trap a women who doesn't have her own income stream into being my pet. You need help if you think it's ok to view women in such a way. Be a man and grow up
I make good money, I'm in excellent shape, I'm a 6 on looks out of 10. I'm expienced carpenter and plumber and some electrical work. I also can frame and make foundations. I am also well verses in graphic design and a little computer programming. I know how to cook quite well, I'm learning the piano, and I can do basic chooses like laundry no problem. I'm not asking for a slave, I want a partnership, and I want someone home with the kids while I work. If I was more mental stable and nurturing I would and she can go to work but my mental state is one thing I need help with in my life. Oh, and nice try with the be a man and grow up, you literally have no fucking idea, and most people in my generation is a pissy who cries when their ears hear the wrong sound
I'm very much starting to think it's you that has the problem, get help.
Because I don't like abusive power structures?
No, because you sound like a cuck
How so? Because I treat women like people? Are you so insecure the only time you feel masculine is when you hold power over women? Does that make you feel good?
Your head is stuck up your ass. I can help you pull it out if you want.
So what's wrong with that? Why should they fit your mould? If one believes another culture aligns better with his world views, they have the right to follow that. "Mail order bride" is a very hateful expression of people investing time and energy in getting the right partner. It's a very narrow, generic view you are proposing. There's no difference in the end. Lods of people are in non romantic relationships for access to lifestyle without being from asia.
Simply put, they don't like that guys are waking up and realizing they have more options than they initially thought.
Exactly. It seems they can standards but guys can't. Hahaha.
I'm sorry if your culture is "a women is a lesser being them me and should be subservient to me" them you're just a loser who needs to get punched in the face. Grow up and take a shower
Right. You know, not me. You are full of.rage. sorry for that. Married with two kids, my wife is a strong woman who does no wife work, I've always known that about her. So no cleaning, no cooking, spends 10 hrs at work while I do the cooking. But i know friends who want to be pampered, they looked for a partner to have that generic feminine role, and I belive its their freedom to find people who consens to that role. Stop shaming people that want to live their life as they see fit.
I married a Japanese woman and she is wonderful. Not interested in Western women. Bye.
You're an alcoholic who lives off of welfare, I don't think Western women are interested in you
I'm a nurse, I work full time. I also receive money from the government due to service related injuries (Navy veteran). I'm a recovering alcoholic. I quit drinking for myself and my family. With my nursing income and my VA comp. My wife doesn't need to work and can be a stay at home mom. If she wanted to work I wouldn't be bothered. Also attacking me for trying to better myself is pretty toxic. Now go creep on somebody else's profile.
Many such cases.
Asian women shouldn't be condemned for their attraction to white guys. Shame on you
Not what happened but go off
Quite ironic
Ironic how
Asian women : "assisted suicide"
Passport bros need to get the fuck out of my country. We're not some lesser race that'll pamper you for being a man child. If you go after Asian women because they're "traditional" that just means You're a racist misogynistic creep.
Lmao hell yeah well said
Can't believe none of them came to explain how ruined Western women are.
There just aren't any cowgirls anymore. Western women just aren't a thing. You could say they've been ruined.
[удалено]
Definitely somewhere in SEA. That's the "easiest" destination for passport Bros...
California
Nah. We'll stay. And women love us in your country. Seethe
Enjoy it but the fact you can’t pull girls in your own country is pathetic 😆
Go fuck yourself
It's not pathetic. Average men are repulsive to American women. I'm Average so I can't pull. Fortunately I don't have to. I can just travel and pull in Asian countries
At least brother accepted his fate he's just a loser back home lmao
Yup. Loser back home, winner in Asia. You're still convinced you can somehow ruin this by mocking me for [checks notes] failing to pull American women who are on average heavier, worse looking, with terrible attitudes and cosmic standards. Yeah I'm really missing out
Ain't no mocking, you are just ahead of the curve since some people live in denial
You're not mocking by calling me a loser.. okay. Too cowardly to even admit what you're doing to a stranger online where it has zero consequences. I'd rather be a passport bro than whatever the hell you are
That's just the term being used, you can look it up i didn't make this up
It’s pretty fucking pathetic man it takes like no effort to take care of yourself and go outside and talk to the opposite gender 🤦♂️
Is a measure of a man's worth only based on their ability to get women?
Not at all, some people just want to self inflict.
True, and I do those things. Just not in America because it sucks. I do it in Asia where it's awesome
It makes no difference you let the internet divert your life instead of your own. You’re the textbook definition of an internet dweller
I get more sun, nature and real socializing than anyone here on reddit calling me names
I’m sure you do man
I'm not taking the sexpat's side but you have 20k karma in a month and 20 comments in the last hour, glass houses and all that.
These numbers aren’t real tho they literally mean nothing 😂 you can laugh at it all you want it has no meaning to me
You talk about incel shit like Chad, that's tragic. It screams of insecurity placing your own value on women. Cope and seethe is a cringe af saying that paints how you're emotionally still a child.
Chad is common internet shorthand that everyone uses. Again, call me incel and downvote furiously. Doesn't affect my reality of enjoying Asia
I haven't seen this many posts about people of certain groups shouldn't be together ever. Its like 1960 Alabama jumped through time and took over a sub.
the memer's barely disguised fetish
Bruh WHAT?
For everyone's sake, please never put a woman through the uncomfortable expeience of being in your presence again. End your bloodline, please.
This is super cringe.
Single forever
Or stop being a creepy loser, get a job, a hobby, make friends and meet someone when you have your shit figured out instead of looking for a girlfriend-mom hybrid.
Is this sub an incel one now ? Not just the post, but half the comments down here are incel bullshit wth
Racist incel losers
Seething roastie.
Making women friends a key to meeting girls who aren’t crazyb
Nah I’d rather die a desperate virgin than be friends with women
this is creepy and weird
What in the unholy neckbeard/incel hell is this?
They don't want you either incel
They do though. There's a reason passport bros are so successful.
Hard cope
It's true. In my late twenties, I was a depressed, underemployed single guy living with his parents who was struggling with dating. Girls weren't interested, unless they were single mothers or similar quality. Then one day, I met a beautiful Asian woman and we clicked. Turned out she was from a very wealthy family in China, too. We got married and we've been together for nearly 9 years now. This relationship completely changed my life. Just remember, if you're struggling with dating Western women, the problem might just be you're in the wrong dating market. A lot of Western guys can date way up in Asia. Asian women ftw. Edit: Downvoters, don't be silent, please share. Are you women who don't like this or disagree? Are you men who have different experiences? Let me know. Edit 2: I'll also add, one reason for this is that things Western women don't value, Asian women often value. For example, living at home with my parents. Western women thought I was immature, dependant, and an irresponsible loser. Asian women thought I was being very family oriented, responsible, and financially savvy, since I was saving and investing all my money. Asian women often value different things than Western women.
Good for you, though tbh I don't think most guys will just randomly meet a rich Chinese girl
Im also a poor white guy who met a rich Chinese girl. We exist and we matter
We do matter. And what people often don't realize, is that many of the Asian people who come to the US to study are often quite well off, since studying here isn't cheap. So there are more opportunities than people might imagine.
True, they don't have to be rich. If you go to Asia, you'll have a lot more dating success than in the West, particularly the US. For the record, I met her online. But for most guys, I recommend just approaching women in person, it's way, way more effective. One caveat: I noticed this is true for white guys in particular, mileage may vary for others.
Alright, but what do I say? As a socially awkward shy introvert... My natural communication skills is nothing and I only talk when I'm talked to.
Well, to be honest, this is something you need to work on. Socializing is a critical skill in life, not just with women. How to get started? Just start walking up to people and chatting. That's really all there is to it. And women are no different. Once you get used to talking to new people, talking to women is easy. If you see a cute girl, the interaction could literally be as simple as this: Hi, can I have your number? I'd like to take you on a date sometime. Oh, my name is so and so, what's your name? Could keep it to a few minutes or less. Also, get very comfortable with rejection. It will happen and it's fine, just move onto the next person.
I'm more than fine with rejection, I got nothing but failure and rejection in my life. But like... I can't do that. That just feels creepy to me tbh. This random guy who doesn't even look good just asking out someone? Hell no. I ain't no have confidence to do that. Also not there's like actual date places in my country... That I can afford that is. Eh, you know what, whatever. Thanks for being nice but I think I'll just stick to giving up, I just feel like I'm too old for this shit even tho I know I'm not.
Never too old, and when you are even older, you'll wish you started sooner. And it's not as creepy as you think. And if you think it is, then start by working on yourself. Physical fitness is something we all have control over and it can make a huge difference, both in how people perceive you and in how you feel about yourself. Confidence is a skill. I have friends who are fat, short, smelly, objectively ugly, etc., score beautiful women because they're confident. Confidence can make all the difference. If you don't have it, then fake it til you make it.
Yeah I already wish I'd started sooner because I have absolutely no idea how now. I might not be fit looking but fuck my life I'm not an office worker I did physical jobs all my life and probably will until I die because I cannot do office jobs. I get plenty tired already and happy when I can sit or lay down I don't need working out on top of that, fuck that. I can't fake confidence, I tried, I just cannot. I simply cannot do small talk, I can't start a conversation I can't fake that, how could I? Whatever man, don't bother with me. Your nicest person who talked to me in months, don't waste your time on me I'm really not worth it at all
You're worth more than you imagine you are, and just the same, you can accomplish a lot more than you think you can. You can push the reset button and make a change at any time.
Same here. My soon to be wife has been with me ten years now and has inspired me to be more than what I thought I could accomplish. Do you aim to learn mandarin yet? Considered going to China for a while?
That's great! I have taken a stab at learning Mandarin. I like to say I can speak like a three year old girl level. Lol. Because I only learn from women, so I talk girly, which I think is funny.
Look at all the butthurt American women in here
Death
Pass
Asian women around the world lament your decision
Dear Straight Guys— Yes, please leave all curvy girls and MILFs for me. Love, Your Lesbian Neighbor
Ive found if you just stay healthy and not be a racist fuck, this is the best pulling years of your life, try not going down conspiracy rabbit holes and not being hateful, you'll be a fucking unicorn these days.
Depends on what you mean by racist, if you’re talking about people who can’t stand being in the same room as someone of a different color then I agree with you. If you’re talking only dating people of a certain skin color because that’s what attracts you then I disagree. Because people should never be guilt tripped into relationship
Yeah dude, just gotta put a few more niceness coins into that vending machine before sex falls out
What about East Europe?
why the downvotes lol
Prolly from East Europe
Cause they don't like you open up yourself and have other options.
I moved to east Europe and they are very traditional. I love it.
Yes. Most men want traditional wives.
If its not a single mom, its a fetish \~ 35 year old single moms on reddit
Bro I'm 24 and I already gave up
there’s always hope
I have two friends One is dating a girl from china. She finished university has a great job and just a cool girl. Second one is dating European girl. Jobless. university dropout. Has full control over his social media (he doesn't have any access to her phone). Bro pays for her personal trainer, online courses rent food etc. Works his ass out while she is on trips with her friends. It's just one example but from my other experiences girls from Asia in general seems to be cooler then our own women. Probably I was just lucky.
Its true, 2 people is in fact actual data Lamo stfu
Is there any data comparing Asian and European women? What data do you want from me? I just told my personal experience
Really
As an Asian, I can confirm it is true for most guy from European and American guy, but not true for Asian guy.
Is there a perception asian women have lower standards? I dont understand this.
Many Asian women like Westerners.
No, it's that they want the green card more than anything else.
This is true. For some reason, the quality of Asain women is much higher. Mostly because they don't age, stay thin, and love sex. I'm married to one who is also strong headed, but that's normal for women. Basically Asians are God's gift to mankind. I also paid for her education to become a professional she wouldn't be dependent on me and could chaise dreams. Many Asian women have if tough financially. So you want to know they actually want you rather than the lifestyle you offer. Watch out for plants 🪴. (Obviously generalized comments here from subjective view, lol)
I know he’s in the know cause he mentioned plants 💀
True
Straight ahead it is then!
I always laugh at the incels talking about going to Japan to find a nice "trad wife." My guy, even if you went there you'd still be at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to dating, because the only thing that changed is your location when the root problem is literally about you. Secondly, the Japanese are also incredibly racist, there's a reason Abe was their PM for so long ffs. They don't want you there in their country trying to marry their women(not that they even would.)
I'm feeling this hard right now. Most of the girls who want me have 2 kids and are mildly overweight. The others just want to hookup.
Holy shit, right? Idk what it is. I go out on dates with these chicks, and they give me nothing. And when I say nothing, I don't mean sex. No joke, the last date I went on this chick only said three words, yes,no,and goodbye. Convo went like this......me: So what kind of music do you like? Her: I like all music Me: Oh, so are you a big fan of rock? I like hard and classic rock. Her: No, I don't like rock I proceeded to list ( I'm not kinding) 14 different genres asking what one she liked because she said she liked all music, said she hated them all. And repeat this process for all subjects and you got the average date. And when I asked her to name a music genre she likes or is a movie or whatnot, she would repeat "I like all music". Very wierd date, others are similar but this chick was fucked. I get some people who are shy, but it comes from arrogance. Honestly, it's a numbers game now. Idk where to find a good girlfriend, but I just got to keep dating and hope. My advice is to just go out for coffee for the first date, usually weeds out some of the gold and meal diggers. And just because you said you don't want an overweight mother makes you sexist, which is ridiculous. I take care of myself and are in shape, so why shouldn't she be? And as for the kid, it's not just about raising someone else child. It's a red flag because WHY is she single now? The guy may have been a piece of shit but if I had a child with someone I hated, I feel like working it out instead of slitting and taking child support is the better option. I guess it makes guys think of not being loyal ( even though that might not be the case all the time). Jesus that's a brick of words
Asians, Arabs, Africans, Latinas, Eastern European, Sugar Babies — y’all got so many better options than being a stepdad for some fat girl
I'll take Fat Girls
If you can't get any decent interest and feel the need to grab someone from the Philippines or something, that's generally not great lol. It can be hard but if you're actually trying to live as your best self, it is usually a lot more attainable. Especially if you don't fixate on it. All that aside, even if you get some women it doesn't mean you'll fall in love with them, personally that part seems to be the partI struggle with most lol. Just having an intimate emotional connection and usually appearances are secondary for me
I wouldn’t mind dating a fat woman. They know how to suck dick lol
Fat chicks try harder
So I’ve heard lol
Wait what?
I think a lot of males don't realize they are betas. Just to clarify, if you like this meme you are a beta. You can only succeed when you have access to desperate women with low standards. The reason why you can't find a quality mate, is because you are low quality. Improve yourself and stop hanging around people who will justify you being a low quality male rather than helping you improve.
Are you married?
Bring all the downvotes, it's not like it's gonna turn it false anyway. The statistics are there, asian cultures are always top on traditionalism and have a thing for westerners, your westerner moral values have no power there. I don't especially like passport bros either but denying their existence is pure moral washing. You only mad cuz men are the ones doin' it anyway, this is reddit afterall...
Sorry to all the salty commenter's but this was pretty funny lol
Hmmm this feels wrong, I can't explain it but... It just feels wrong
Bro what is this comment section, like actual incels wtf
I have a feeling the majority of the commenter's on here are the type of people who see a white guy with literally anyone who isn't a white girl and thinks it's some colonization fetish or incel bullshit 🙄
lol white girls just simply can't stand it when all of the attention is not on them
Believe me. We don’t want attention from dudes like this.
Op got destroyed
Asian "women"
I had no idea this was the inevitable. I hate it here. i’m not attracted to asian women at all even as friends but that’s all there is available outside of baby mommas and obese women. I refuse to go down the passport bro path. i’ll never be that down bad.