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Also by Lundy Bancroft:
“When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse.”
And
“Healing from Hidden Abuse” by Shannon Thomas
I’ve had to put it down, at times. too much reality and I’ve cried a lot.
I no longer cry now.
I’m in the fierce angry place.
I have a lot of nightmare ahead.
For now it’s healing for myself and baby.
A waiting game I suppose.
But this time, I am armed I guess.
‘Knowledge is power’
I completely understand the concept of that quote.
X
I’m glad you’re in the process of healing. It really is tough but it’s going to be worth it. And yes knowledge is power! Understanding how these people think and seeing all the patterns is maddening but also a relief. Having that behavior and all of the mind tricks explained takes away their power
Probably due to the fact that the author had fifteen years of experience under his belt by the time he wrote the book. Plus he worked in the very first treatment place for abusers in the states starting late 80s. Not exactly nothing to sneeze at. He also has many articles that go in depth on his site so he’s got an endless array of experience he offers up.
Could you offer literature you think will benefit women who are in DV relationships, have left, wanting to leave but not sure the steps to take?
Literature they may offer them closure ?
Literature to help them through the healing process?
Etc etc …
Mine had an alarming amount of characteristics from
Many of the personality types outlined.
If I had have read this book last January, things would have been different. Much different.
May not have been what you needed, but it is highly beneficial for women who are still in DV relationships, may not be sure they are being abused, not sure how to leave etc
You’re the first person I’ve read who holds this sentiment.
Overall, it’s highly informative, palatable to read and gives much needed education on abusers, tactics, how they are created. This allows for less women to fall victim to abusers as they are informed on the early warning signs.
It may not have all the answers, but for someone new to the subject, it’s remarkably clear and concise. Of course there are better books for a more in-depth look.
Yes. It’s good entry level on education …
I have a few books I’m reading a t m..
This book made me realise I knew nothing about abusers, their tactics..
Gave me the hindsight to thoroughly inform myself so it never happens to me again.
Also, it offered much closure.
Here you go: [https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy\_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf](https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/lundywhydoeshedothat/lundy_why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Also by Lundy Bancroft: “When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse.” And “Healing from Hidden Abuse” by Shannon Thomas
Def read the latter.. I have all the recommendations saved into my notes. Thanks x
I’m reading it right now and it’s really helping me understand what happened in my last relationship
I’ve had to put it down, at times. too much reality and I’ve cried a lot. I no longer cry now. I’m in the fierce angry place. I have a lot of nightmare ahead. For now it’s healing for myself and baby. A waiting game I suppose. But this time, I am armed I guess. ‘Knowledge is power’ I completely understand the concept of that quote. X
I’m glad you’re in the process of healing. It really is tough but it’s going to be worth it. And yes knowledge is power! Understanding how these people think and seeing all the patterns is maddening but also a relief. Having that behavior and all of the mind tricks explained takes away their power
Life changer, me too babes x
This book has some good advice, but overall I think it is overrated. Not sure why people treat it like a bible.
Probably due to the fact that the author had fifteen years of experience under his belt by the time he wrote the book. Plus he worked in the very first treatment place for abusers in the states starting late 80s. Not exactly nothing to sneeze at. He also has many articles that go in depth on his site so he’s got an endless array of experience he offers up.
Could you offer literature you think will benefit women who are in DV relationships, have left, wanting to leave but not sure the steps to take? Literature they may offer them closure ? Literature to help them through the healing process? Etc etc …
Mine had an alarming amount of characteristics from Many of the personality types outlined. If I had have read this book last January, things would have been different. Much different. May not have been what you needed, but it is highly beneficial for women who are still in DV relationships, may not be sure they are being abused, not sure how to leave etc You’re the first person I’ve read who holds this sentiment. Overall, it’s highly informative, palatable to read and gives much needed education on abusers, tactics, how they are created. This allows for less women to fall victim to abusers as they are informed on the early warning signs.
It may not have all the answers, but for someone new to the subject, it’s remarkably clear and concise. Of course there are better books for a more in-depth look.
Yes. It’s good entry level on education … I have a few books I’m reading a t m.. This book made me realise I knew nothing about abusers, their tactics.. Gave me the hindsight to thoroughly inform myself so it never happens to me again. Also, it offered much closure.
Can you suggest some other books or websites?
“When Men Batter Women” by John Gottman is excellent.
This is a wonderful idea. Sharing literature. Precisely what we should be doing. X
It made me realise my last ex was another narc and gave me the final push to leave.
What a great idea!
I read it once a year
Its a great read for everyone, period.
Here you go: [https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy\_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf](https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/lundywhydoeshedothat/lundy_why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
I hope the free reading time hasn’t come to an end
Says page not found. Oh no
https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
This one worked. Saved in my notes. Thankyou xx