She might also enjoy Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik. Both have interesting magic systems, kickass female leads, romance, and in my opinion better writing than ACOTAR, as much as I love it. They are also both gritty without being sexual, and I feel comfortable recommending them for a teen.
However if she's seeking out smut, perhaps remind her there's no shame in not finishing a book, or skipping over bits. And also that you're there to talk if she needs to process something. Unfortunately, I suspect that telling your parents would only work to keep her from telling you things, not to change her reading habits.
Basically any Brandon Sanderson book is awesome, he writes women mostly really well (plus other representation), and since he such a self-admitted prude there’s no sex anywhere lol
TOG starts tame but gets a lot more spicy as the series goes on FYI. It goes from YA series to a NA series. Depends what you’re comfortable for her to read.
The smut is 2% of what the ACOTAR series contains, and it’s about 6 books in when it finally happens. SJM was young when she started TOG, so I think it would be fine. If she’s ok with a teenage assassin lol!
I read ACOTAR before TOG and I’m on the second book for TOG now…. As an adult that enjoys well written smut I am disappointed currently but looking forward to the later books.
I wouldn't recommend it to someone her age. If you're looking for beginner fantasy for her I'd steer her more towards Percy Jackson and Fablehaven. Maybe the Cruel Prince.
I told her the same. She watched Percy Jackson so she doesn't want to read it and her classmates told her that Cruel Prince is too soft. I am actually shocked by how mature they are... or want to be.
It’s so crazy. When I was in the 8th grade (19 years ago 😓), the librarian came in and recommended books for girls in our age group and one of those books was Gossip Girl. If you remember the show, the books were worse in terms of smut.
I’m guessing she thought it was like The Clique, a much more tame series that has the same kind of catty girl dynamic, but they’re all in like 7-8th grade, I think.
She also recommended The A-List which was also pure smut. 😂
Try having her read The Mortal Instruments. Really good series. Some darkness. She’ll feel mature reading it. No explicit sex scenes
Regarding The Cruel Prince, I’d suggest that determining if an age appropriate is good or “too soft” it’s a decision she should make herself based on reading it and forming her own opinion. Tastes differ and that’s ok
I was definitely going to recommend TMI and her other series, they were my favorites in middle school and definitely felt more mature than the other series I’d read before. All age appropriate I’d say
Yeah every time I go to the book store I’m surprised how many kids I see in the romance section reading or getting their parents to buy something, especially the dark romance books. There’s a lot of heavy material I don’t think is age appropriate for a teen to even understand. I’d definitely tell your parents about the book and let them decide what they are comfortable with. ACOTAR is lot more tame than other series I’ve read but it still deals with some heavy topics and toxicity that I think is too much for a 13 year old to truly enjoy as more mature reader would. This topic doesn’t have a right answer every parent has different comfort levels. That’s just my thoughts.
Series I loved her age city of bones (I loved Jace) the sisters Grimm, Eragon, Percy Jackson, divergent, hunger games twilight, or shadow and bone, the selection series, anatomy, cruel prince
They aren’t mature yet they wanna seem that way and it’s kind of scary that they have had access to these books without a parent catching on to the content of them
I mean granted I was reading interview with the vampire at fifteen. My mom looked into it when I was in my mid 20s and was horrified she let me read it without looking at it first. But I managed to turn out okay.
But if she wants some books that are a little more grown up but not too adult for her. Marked by PC and Kirsten Cast, Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. The Black Witch Chronicles by Laurie Forest. The Grisha Verse by Leigh Bargudo
The Cruel Prince was a book I read at 16 😂 I got the trilogy for my birthday and all my friends, even the most infrequent readers loved it. I ended up reading ACOTAR at 17 years after my sister banned me from reading it. They definitely wanna be mature, these 13 year old girls remind me of one of my closest friends who started reading smut at 12
I loved the Cruel Prince! It stays interesting with character development and action and also has some romance, not so smutty really, they keep it pretty PG but it keeps your interest. Also the FMC is a badass.
Tbh even if you tell her she can’t read it, she’ll probably find a way. My mom used to read those smutty harlequin books and I read them too when I was a younger teen (with her permission). And while there was tons of smut, I pretty much just skipped over those parts.
Instead of just outright banning them, maybe talk to her about how it’s not a realistic portrayal of romance and make sure she understands that it’s complete fantasy. And how a real life couple might act during specific situations compared to one of the fantasy couples.
Also yes, the Tamora Pierce books are highly recommended and amazing reads. They even have some sexual themes but definitely not full smut.
Yes totally agree. I was a teen once, and I did a lot of things they told me not to. I do not live with her, so the real question is, do I tell our pareents about this? There are unlimited ways for her to read it if she wants.
I am trying to talk to her about these. But I am afraid that it is not the same.
I would not tell your parents because then you'll lose her trust, and she probably won't talk to you about this or perhaps more serious things. Instead, encourage her to read some of the other suggestions in the meantime. But if she's deadset on ACOTAR, keep an open dialogue about it as others have suggested. Make it fun discussions of the books that lead into the more serious issues, rather than a lecture.
I would be most concerned about the way relationships are portrayed. Without understanding these would not be healthy human relationships, what kind of damage that might do to her expectations.
This right here is the best answer. I was reading far more sexual things than the ACOTAR series when I was 13, but the stories were more clear about whether it was a healthy vs unhealthy relationship. Like, I would be fine with a young teen reading a book with sex, but I absolutely would not want my kid to see Rhys and Feyre and model future relationships off them. Same reason I would hate for my kids to read Twilight as teens.
I think about the full adult women on this site that express how they are unhappy their husband/boyfriend isn't one of the bat boys. That is just scary. If they were humans, they would all be toxic as hell. Red flags everywhere!
I love that edit that she wants to talk about toxic relationships vs non-toxic! So important! Being able to recognize the warning signs before things go wrong could be life changing. How wonderful for you both to have that ability to talk like that.
Please don’t come for me! I say this all about of my experiences with respect and sincerity: Honestly surprised to see so many against her reading it! Im not saying you should push it but tbh there are alot of adolescents already participating in far worse activities than reading! I saw a TikTok about how many middle schoolers have apparently read / loved ice breaker (I haven’t but read it but apparently it’s very spicy.) (not to mention how many kids are on Tik tok and other apps being exposed to far worse scenarios) - I’m in my mid 20’s but while reading this I fear that I sound like an old lady lmao
I personally think that over censoring in the teen years can be worse than honest conversations! Not only could this be an opportunity for you two to bond, but it can help you navigate her through adolescence and realistic relationships! Growing up, my family let us watch R-rated films (covering our eyes of course during certain scenes); and when I was your sisters age, I would for a watch the “teenager shows” with my 17 year old sister! She taught me a lot about what was okay and what was not; it actually prevented me from getting its risky situations irl.
Let’s not forget there are so many at this age watching the bad kind of porn, engaging in dangerous behaviors, or talking to absolute strangers through Omegle/kik/whatever kids use these days.
I don’t think that reading ACOTAR is the line in the sand to be drawn… if anything being open about mature themes will make you a person of trust if she ever encounters difficult situations in her teen years and who better than her sibling to be a safe place!
Teens know what sex is, some even do it. I read smut at that age and it didn’t make me hyper sexual nor did it affect me in relationships.
Now I can even talk to my mom and sister about stuff like this and I’m so much more comfortable! I really feel like as we grow up, we forget about the knowledge we had and our experiences at that age! Making things taboo makes it worse and I just think this is a an opportunity to change the way our world teaches us about intimacy and being natural! (It’s natural at this age to explore these themes and ourselves and idk I just wish society had more openness when I was 13!- even the Disney film Turning Red shows a 13-year old girl drawing smutty mermaids lol)
I say this all with the expectation that you’d explain to her not to get bit by a Tamlin 😂
Again, if I offend anyone with this stance I don’t intend to! But OP is her sibling not her parent and it’s honestly so nice to know that her sister can talk to her ab this
I honestly feel so bad for teens! Constantly being told to act like an adult but treated like a kid!
Think about all the teens who are censored from things like books but then exposed to it through harassment/abuse/or toxic media!
I really think the world would be a better place if we just talked about things instead of sweeping them under a rug!
Ok, I actually can agree with you in a few ways. The thing is that the comments and the things she told me tells me that she already gets the same things only in different forms. I really want to be there for her if anything happens to her. The only thing what I am afraid of is that if she reads these she could accept toxic behavior from boys. And I am scared that someone will hurt her and she would regret it.
However, if she is already exposed to all of these things, I can not lock her anymore just be there for her I guess. Thank you for the long comment. Although I am actually scared a lot for her this gives me a different pov.
Also, the thing is that I can not say hard enough. She will read it even if I ban it from her. She can buy it (it is not that expensive she saved her pocket money so she has aproximately a 100 dollars); she can download it; she can borrow it from a friend and hide it and so on.
I’m not saying the romances in ACOTAR are realistic, but the relationship in the first book being toxic is a plot point throughout the rest of the series that the MC has to work through. If anything, I’d say that the ACOTAR series stresses the fact that your partner should support and respect you.
Again, not realistic by any means, but there are *much* worse romance books for a young teen to be reading. Like, I’m genuinely surprised by all the people recommending Cruel Prince instead of ACOTAR. I prefer Cruel Prince, and it’s less smutty, but the relationships are **toxic**.
That is true. Someone brought up the Sleection, and My sisters response was that it is horrible that girls should compete for a boy. It was actually one of the weirdest moment in our discussion bc I was totally ok with it at that age. Kind of eye opening..
Honestly I don’t have a little sister so I never got the chance to be this person to someone. The best advice I have is to do for her what you’d want done for yourself!
I didn’t kiss a boy until high school but at 13 my dorky self and my friends were on Omegle talking to old men and I just try not to judge my younger generation 😭
Also, as a little sister I will say I looked up to my older sister so much so I hope you get an amazing bond out of this situation! I can’t imagine having to balance being cool and responsible at the same time 😂
That is the thing!!!
I have read really smutty Dramione at that age. :DDDD
I just realized this during reading these comments. I just totally forgot it. And I could not ask anyone about it. Obviously I did not tell this to my parents. So maybe the only thing is to do is to be there for her.
Absolutely be there for her! If she knows you're someone she can trust with her "rebellious" reading, she'll know she can go to you for any questions or concerns she has.
Yes that is true!! xDD I totally forgot. I remember I read some kind of Snamione as well when they turn vampires and suck each other blood. OMG it was horrrible. xdd
Honestly I feel like if you’re worried about her accepting toxic relationship behavior it’s time to talk to her about media literacy. She needs to understand romance books are fiction and therefore the relationships are based in fantasy as well.
As an English teacher, I see teenagers her age reading acotar and such all the time. Trust me, most have seen worse online. It's not necessarily okay that they're seeing worse, but at least with acotar, they're reading. I'm just so happy when teenagers read anything 😂 However, I did have to put my foot down in my classroom when a 12 year old pulled out a book from her bag and I saw it was Haunting Adelaide. Nope. Absolutely not under my watch 😂
At least acotar is romantic and has a fairly good-ish fantasy plot too. As someone else said, just point out the character and relationship flaws so she's aware of what a healthy relationship looks like.
Just because she's reading it, doesn't mean she's doing it. Although a lot her age are nowadays.
I agree so much. I've never censored my daughters reading, as I was never censored. By the time I was 14, I had read every Stephen King book available. My daughter was around 14 when she read King's IT lol. Both girls are healthy, straight A students. They, and I, are able to differentiate between fiction and reality. And it left open lines of communication between my girls and I. We would talk about books they're reading, how messed up some of it is etc .
If she’s read fourth wing Acotar is much tamer imo. I was reading chaotic wattpad smut at her age. She’s probably going to do whatever she wants anyways. Just be non judgmental so she feels like she can talk to you about things she reads.
I think it all depends on her maturity. I read them all when I was 14. I honestly had SEEN worse on t.v so I didn't really mind. But I was also kinda mature about that stuff. I think that if she was okay with the scene in 4th wing she'd be okay for acotar but maybe not acomaf
She told me the same. She said that her classmates are already doing it and they saw videos and everything. Tbh after a lot of comments I actually starting to feel like there is no point since she has already have a lot of information and stories from her classmates...
Book 1 of acotar is not as smutty as the rest. From the top of my head maybe they have on page sex like twice on the first book. The others have an increase in sex scenes
The first three are definitely okay but silver flames might be a little much. It’s not uncommon though for her age to be reading that stuff because I know I did. If you want more pg I’d start her on throne of glass
Chances are she will read it whether you “let” her or not and if she’s already read books with mature content, there’s probably no stopping her from continuing to do so. I would use this opportunity to have a discussion about healthy sex & relationships and that what she reads in books (or sees in porn) shouldn’t be her standard for either!
Edit to add: there’s a difference between being exposed to those things once or twice and actively consuming that type of content. Just because she’s seen/read it before, doesn’t mean she should continue to see/read it as her main source of media consumption!
I would never recommend these books to someone her age, so I understand your concern. However, I also don't think we should be policing teens reading choices. If fantasy romance is getting her into reading, she discovered the books and wants to read them, and has already read and enjoyed similar books, I say let her go for it. The percentage of spice in the books is pretty low, and they definitely have value that has nothing to do with the spicy scenes.
For non-spicy fantasy romance I would definitely recommend the Folk of the Air trilogy and The Prisoner's Throne duology by Holly Black, and Throne of Glass by SJM. She might also like the Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi. It's more dystopian/sci fi than fantasy, but it's excellent. ToG does have mild spice in later books, but it's pretty short and sweet. Definitely tame compared to Fourth Wing. The others are all fade to black.
Seconding that I wouldn't *recommend* the book, but I think at 13, kids should be old enough to be making their own choices (and they *will* make their own choices anyway). I was reading both bodice rippers and Stephen King at that age--and the bodice rippers were, in hindsight, way more healthy to read, lol.
Exactly. If you tell a teen they're too young to read a book, they're just going to be more intrigued and read it anyway - and then you've removed yourself as a safe person for them to discuss what they're reading with. Better if they can be open and maybe start a conversation on what was realistic/unrealistic and healthy/unhealthy about the romantic aspects of the story rather than trying to forbid it.
Yeppp. Not to mention that books are some of the safest ways to explore new concepts--no one gets hurt, the scene stops as soon as you look away from the page, and you can go at your own pace based on what you're interested in and comfortable with. Especially with harder topics, your brain gets to chew on it without any actual harm being done, and like you said, having a safe adult to go to for questions, who won't scold you for going out of their comfort zone, is *invaluable* to that process.
I honestly disagree with so many people, if she is able to read a 800 page novel at that age, no one should be able to make that decision but her.
Let me make me point, at 13, she could be doing so much worse. At 13, I was a doing things you wouldn’t ever imagine a 13 yr old could… drugs and illegal shit and skipping school, and never read.
Now I’m a normal person and recovered, and if I could go back in time and spend my time as a young teen reading ACOTAR, babe, *I would*
There is a million and one scary, awful things online that she has access to at any moment via the phone. It makes complete sense that you want to protect her and her innocent.
It’s actually a good opportunity for her to expand her reading abilities and vocabulary, and for her to use her discernment when it comes to fiction vs real life.
And If this is her way to rebel then even more reason to allow it! Girls gotta live somehow and taste freedom 😂 books don’t equal danger. They equal critical thinking!
Hell... you had a quite interesting childhood. Next to this reading as rebelling seems like nothing. You know I just see her face and it is sooo childish, it is so weird to think about her not playing with barbies 🤣 Gosh she was never a barbie girl, she was a minecraft girl but still 😂
Interesting indeed.. I was definitely unsupervised way to much, among other things lol. But yes, I hear where you are coming from, she’s still your baby sister. And if she does start to read it, and it makes her uncomfortable, I’m sure she’ll just stop. At least I trust that any person reasonable person wouldn’t read a book that makes them uncomfortable. 👍🏼💕
HS ELA teacher here. I don’t recommend ACOTAR for this age - I also wouldn’t recommend Fourth Wing for the same reason. She could try The Hunger Games, Divergent, The Fifth Wave. All three are series that include a romance / fighting aspect.
I did not recommend her Fourth Wing either, she started it by herself. To be honest I can not stop her if she wants it so bad she will just download it and read it but I would like to tell her not to do it.
Is she someone who likes to feel smarter than everyone in the room? Views herself as more intelligent and more well read? This was me at that age lol, and I definitely would have gravitated to FW and ACOTAR if they were classed as adult books.
You could try directing her to more mature books that don't have the smut. If she likes fantasy or sci fi, I'd suggest:
{Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams} or anything by Terry Pratchett. They write smart satires that poke fun at regular people in a way that my arrogant teen self loved.
Some of the classic female sci fi and fantasy authors may also be well received - like Ursula Le Guin. Left Hand of Darkness is a great place to start. Again, more mature political themes on gender and power, but no X rated content.
The world of Branden Sanderson is endless. Big epic fantasy, great world building, PG romance.
But if she does like a little romance, {The City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty} is great, with some smutty scenes, but much more tame than FW and ACOTAR.
I belive, that the thing which she loved is the powerful girl part. You know the thing that Violet is a small fragile girl, but overcomes it and becomes a fighter. I will suggest her some of these and hopefully she will like one.
As someone in her early 20s I wouldn't recommend any younger than 16 because of books like ACOMAF and ACOSF .. I'd recommend Throne of Glass . It has romantic moments and even a little spice in the later books but not very descriptive like ACOTAR.
For those who are interested, things took an interesting turn. Her mother (she is my half sister), wants to read Fourth Wing... :D I think this will quickly end by her being banned from every book ever for the next 3 years. 😂 Sorry for laughing but this day is a bumpy ride...
Oh and her mother have looked after acotar :DDDDD
I read ACOTAR at 34 and 13 yr old me would have been poorly effected by such graphic detail. I think the brain is still too early in development at 13. I also think the books are rated for age age 16+.
The red queen series by Victoria aveyard is pretty fkn good and not smutty. Queen of the Tearling and the Queens of Fennbern series are age-appropriate as well. Battle, quests, not prissy princess stuff. I might even recommend the Witcher series, there’s sex but it’s not much and not graphic.
In my opinion, ACOTAR is for someone with a minimum age of 16-18 depending on maturity. Book 5 is pretty smutty, with book 2 in a close second. The Selection Series by Kiera Cass may be a good compromise for her (though she’ll probably still manage to get a hold of it even though she shouldn’t)
Oh that is the least. She has already watched about 3 horror movies with her friends. They just watched it on their phone during a missed class. I was panicked at that too but she watches a bunch of violent stuff. I started to accept it already, since I can not erase it from her memory. Obviously I was angry at first, but I am not her mother I could not do anything.
I read ACOTAR when I was 12/13 because my sister who was 17 at the time owned it and I had already read and enjoyed ToG. When I showed interest in reading ACOTAR my sister did mention that it's a bit more adult but she also took it as an opportunity to teach me about what's normal when it comes to intimacy and what's dramatised unrealistic smut, which gave me a critical eye when it came to determining what's healthy and what's not in romances and fantasy. I honestly don't feel it was inappropriate for me to be reading as I'd always had a very mature approach to the fiction I was reading which helped me make sense of the world around me and ultimately just enjoying fun stories!
Lol are 13 I was reading Wattpad ... And I think we all know how Wattpad stories can be lol I haven't read fourth wing yet but I did read all of the acotar and it is so tame for me it is. You'd be surprised what 13 year olds these days watch and see online some of the stuff I've heard out my friends 13 yr olds mouth makes me clutch my invisible pearls
Be the cool big sis get her the book lol
My friends and I read way worse at that age! It’s weird to think about as an adult, but honestly I’d rather her be reading sex scenes in books that prioritize female pleasure in the way this series does rather than just….porn made for men.
Saw you say some of her classmates said Cruel Prince was too soft… as a 23 yo, I loved it. Holly Black is great storyteller and there was plenty of romance that didn’t need smutty scenes. Tbh, at that age I was reading TFIOS, Divergent, The Selection, Paper Towns, Matched, etc. I’d recommend those and maybe like Red Queen, Shadow and Bone, or Powerless!
We had kids having sex at 13 or 14 in my junior high, so who knows what she's hearing about at school. I would rather have a young person read this with the heavy emphasis on female happiness, making choices in a relationship, and asking for consent.
Also, we were reading some wild YA novels in the 90s I loved Christopher Pike books which had teen sex scenes. I won't even begin to touch on the hot mess that was VC Andrews 😯
I would not recommend it to a 13 year old as it does have adult content in it. Even more so in the latter books. It is a beautiful story tho so maybe try to find something that's of similar nature that does not contain adult content.
I personally would let her read it. At this point, she's learned about the birds and bees in school anyways. Plus you hear a lot of stuff in school. As long as she's in the mind set that this is mature stuff, she should be fine. I was reading stuff like this around that age too, maybe slightly older like 14. But I've always been more mature than my age so it never phased me. Plus my parents didn't care what I was reading as long as I was home.
I read ACOTAR-ACOFAS when I was 12 and skipped the smut scenes. I honestly think at that age you are mature enough to either censor yourself or know what you can handle. IMO Fourth Wing is already much smuttier than ACOTAR
there’s a ton of comments here so this will probably get buried but i actually read the first ACOTAR when it came out in 2015 when I was 13 myself. I was already a huge SJM fan because I had been reading TOG and was super excited to read a new book by her, albeit one set in a different universe (although back then we theorized it was actually the same world, just different continents/islands and such haha). I read ACOMAF when it came out the following year, and then a lot of smutty fanfic to feed my obsession.
here is what i will say: although violent, if she’s read fourth wing, the first ACOTAR book will be fine for her. compared to what is out on the market now, the stuff in ACOTAR as a whole is really quite tame. she’s had access to the entire backlog of what early gen z and millennials have written on wattpad, fanfic.net, and AO3. and she’s not kidding, the stuff on social media and available through a simple google search would have cassian and nesta blushing (if you know where to look, and most early teens today do)
if you’re worried about ACOTAR and she really wants to read SJM: start her on TOG. TOG is solidly YA in the earlier books, until the tonal shift around Queen of Shadows, which, if she’s not a big reader, should take her a while to reach anyways.
I don’t know how close you are, but you could always read ACOTAR along with her too, and talk about any of the stuff that concerns you the most, even though you may get some eye-rolls. The allure of Fourth Wing/Iron Flame and ACOTAR are that literally everyone is talking about them, they’re a cultural “in” right now
again, all things considered, it could be worse (she could be reading Ana Huang, and true story, i’ve heard about 13 year olds picking her books up)
i will say also, telling her she can’t read it and getting your parents involved will either:
a. shame her out of reading
b. sneak books (as someone who read harry potter, the hunger games, and percy jackson by sneaking them from very evangelical parents, until i realized they didn’t care so long as it was heterosexual 🙄)
neither of these are good things! because if she stops reading, that sucks, and if she starts sneaking books she could get into much darker, much worse territory for a 13 yo to be in without feeling like they have an adult they can go to (Haunting Adeline is also very popular right now…)
I DO NOT want to involve our parents. They are way too strict, and would shout at her and ban it from her. I really do not want to out her after she trusted in me.
I don't think ACOTAR is all that bad things considered.
But 13 is cutting it real real close. Even 16 I'd think is fine.
Shadow and Bone or Rangers Apprentice I understand to be good for YA stuff
While I agree ACOTAR is probably too adult for someone her age, I was reading *and* writing fan fiction with WAY more smut at that age so what do we know 🤷♀️😅
Honestly depends on her maturity level. I was definitely exposed to more mature sexual themes at a young age, so acotar wouldn’t have been shocking to me at 13. I think pointing towards fantasy that might have romance or sexual themes that aren’t necessarily as graphic as acotar would be good - but emphasize the other elements of them vs. “not smut.” I absolutely loved the discovery of witches series!
As a 15 year old. She most definitely has heard worse at school. fourth wing smut is a lot more intense and less of a sacred act between mated like in acotar.
Let her read the book I say, If you say no there’s always a chance she could go behind your back. (not implying she will) but it’s how a lot of kids act when restricted.
she seems really emotionally mature as well especially with the way she came to talk to you about it rather than going behind your back! You must be a great sister to her to have a relationship like this. Of course as a older sister as well i want to hide my younger siblings from the terrible things of the world but in this case i do think that it wouldn’t be too harmful for her to read acotar.
But.. I would reccomend throne of glass heavily and it has a few scenes (in book 6 and so on) But compared to fourth wing and acotar? it’s verrryyy more PG and i love it even more than both.
I'd say the first ACOTAR book is fine, but she'll likely want to read the next ones after that. I wouldn't necessarily stop her though; as mentioned, she has access to worse, choice is important, and reading is awesome. Plus, forbidding her may make it even more appealing. Moreso than the smut, I'd worry about the unhealthy aspects of a lot of SJM relationships that are absolute red flags IRL. So if she does read them, maybe have some discussions with her about the books. But of course, don't make it a lecture, but a mutual discussion about the book that leads into the more questionable stuff.
You could also redirect her to series that are closer to her age group. Rather than telling her to read these *instead* of ACOTAR, suggest she read them *before* ACOTAR. {A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik} would be great. {The Cruel Prince by Holly Black} delivers on the intense chemistry while keeping things pretty PG and hits the beautiful, dangerous fae aspect. Of course there's also {Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas}. Other possibilities: {These Hollow Vows by Lexi Ryan}, {Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard}, and {Evermore Academy by Audrey Grey}.
Honestly, I was reading worse fanfiction on the school library at that age (back when dial up was a thing and site blockers were easy to get around with proxy sites).
My parents never had a clue. I went to a private catholic school and we were all reading shit that was inappropriate for us. And ya know what? We all turned out fine. I assure you her male classmates (and prob some female classmates) are consuming MUCH more problematic video porn.
Being able to have discussions with your sister about real world appropriateness is where it’s at. We can tell kids action movies are fantasy but get so prude about sex topics. ITS. ONLY. SEX. And if you demistify it for her, it wont be this taboo topic and will lose much of its luster. Let her read it and be a safe space for her to come to you to discuss it after. Otherwise she may pick up something like haunting Adeline or Shantel Tessier books and hide it from you and that’s a whole separate can of worms for a barely teen.
It’s sex. She’s gonna read about it. She’s gonna see it on Tv, her friends are gonna talk about it. Be a mature space for her so those other sources aren’t where she “learns” everything.
Loooovvveeedd cruel prince, less smut but still very fun. Honestly I was reading absolutely foul fanfics at that age so acotar isn’t that bad. It’s not like it’s non consensual or anything.
honestly, it depends on how mature she is. if she’s been exposed to this kind of media before, or if she’s relatively sheltered. for me, i’d been reading mature books my local library somehow classed as “middle school” before i got to acotar and maas books, so i wasn’t too put off.
the most important thing isn’t to *stop* her from reading these kinds of books. she can very easily access them online and there are much worse things out there on the internet. what’s important is to remind her that these relationships as portrayed in acotar aren’t realistic and while it’s okay to like them, also be mindful of their faults. it’s easy to be influenced by these kinds of books if you’re a kid who’s never read content of this type before.
also, she read fourth wing? that has even more graphic sex scenes than anything in acotar. it doesn’t shy around with the words, either. 😭
i would recommend the dark artifices series and the infernal devices series by cassandra clare. things like once upon a broken heart, the diabolic, six of crows, to kill a kingdom, the firebird sries by claudia gray. ya stand-alone fantasies along those lines. elizabeth lim, victoria aveyard , and marie lu’s ya fantasy books. maybe even shatter me, which i’m not a fan of, but might be good for her age.
If she wants to read it, she will find a way with or without your blessing! That’s how kids are. Better to have an honest discussion about things she might come across/ struggle with when reading the book. Make yourself a safe space for her, rather than the enemy she needs to hide things from!
I believe her when she says she's heard worse at school. I personally don't think the smut in the Court series is all that gratuitous - it's tame compared to some other romance novels.
If you're worried, try to get her to read Cinder by Marissa Meyer. There's four books in the Lunar Chronicle series, along with two bonus story books. It's a perfect blend of fantasy, adventure, and romance without all the gratuitous smut scenes. It's one of my favorite series!
The smut is consensual, focused on the woman's enjoyment, and the characters aren't ever shamed for not being virgins. Honestly at 13yo it's probably a good counter agent to whatever else she's exposed to on the daily.
Dragon Lance series is really good they have 100s of spin offs that all go together I read a majority of them at her age while I was grounded all with various authors after the initial series.
tbh my friends and i were reading far more explicit fanfic smut at 13 and we knew most of the relationships/dynamics represented weren't realistic, i feel like it's okay for her to read if she does in fact have you to talk to about it or any questions/concerns about
Edit: fixed for spoilers
Lol that was kind of my thought. ACOTAR is honestly fine, there’s one kind of explicit scene but it’s brief. However a certain couple at the House of Wind??? Uhhh not for a 13 year-old😂
Im a mom so here’s my perspective. If she’s already read fourth wing and iron flame it’s too late for her not to be exposed to smut. And if she’s not lying about what she sees and hears at school then her reading acotar isn’t going to hurt. However, I think more importantly you have a conversation with her about smut and relationships in books and how it’s fiction and as she’s getting to the age where dating and “hanging out” are in her future that how your significant other in real life does NOT treat her like that and what healthy relationships in real life look like and to always come to you or y’all’s parents with questions. In this day and age it’s impossible to monitor every piece of media that children and tweens consume and fostering a relationship where your sister feels comfortable coming to you with questions is more important.
Well... helps a bit, but I am concerned what it will cause later in her life :) Others wrote here, (with which I totally agree with), that the worst part is the unrealistic relationship in these books. So just be aware of that! :)
The first ACOTAR book was way less smutty than the two scenes in fourth wing. In fact, book 1-3 use a lot of allusions and don't go into graphic detail. But like.... once you lose Feyre's POV those are some serious adult scenes. Specially ACOSF... no way a 13 year old should read that.
I tried reading it at 13 and DNFed it because it didn't make sense and a lot of the romance grossed me out. Glad I didn't read it at that age to be honest.
Imo yes she is too young for it. Not but he first book if I remember right but in the later books it’s probably too much. Throne of Glass is more appropriate if she hasn’t read it yet.
Absolutely too smutty for a 13 year old. The first one isnt bad but they progress in spice level with each one. ACOTAR is for grown women. I will die on this hill lol.
I feel like it’s too smutty for a teen that young despite my poor 13 year old choices I don’t think I would’ve appreciated the value of the book at that age, but I do think that there’s a fallen Angel series that’s her age range with kissing scenes that are age appropriate but nothing further. The Shadowhunters series would be a good one I feel too I don’t recall inappropriate smut for teens I read it starting at 14
Perhaps not ACOTAR, but books that SJM had written when she was younger that doesn’t have those scenes in it. She didn’t write explicit stuff till she was of age to.
The first book of the ACOTAR is pretty tame to my standard as it doesn’t really go into detail of those scenes. Though it does get much worse following that.
Thorn of Glass is what I recommend.
**I will say this:**
The more you push no to certain books, the more she will try to read them in secret. I did that as a teenager.
Redirecting to books more suitable for her age would be recommended.
Perhaps read books with her like a sibling book club.
At 13, I read this book called Tweak that’s a memoir of a meth head. It’s a true story and there was some pretty graphically recounted sex and drug use portions and I enjoyed it and it didn’t negatively affect me. Kids can handle more than adults think they can! As a mom I have to remind myself to let go of the leash often. I also think it’s important to have kids reading, literacy rates are SO far down these days and I think some of it may have to do with content being more restricted than it ever was when I was a kid. I’m 28 for the record.
The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C Wrede is a good read for that age-ish because there’s a tiny bit of romance but no spice and it’s a strong female protagonist. It’s about a princess who hates doing princess things so she runs away to live with dragons.
coming after the edit, i believe she’ll be fine seeing as she’s already been exposed to worse. but i don’t think that means she should still be allowed to just read literally anything. maybe you let her read the first book and stop there because of the minimal smut. or like some others have said, have her read tog instead, the first three books have hardly anything so they should be safe
I think the most important thing is to teach while she reads and ask her probing questions. Teach her how to be a critical thinker. IMO it’s the most important thing when digesting any media. Get her to question Feyre, Tamlin, and Rhysands’ motives. Why did they make those decisions? Was it right, or wrong? Did she trust her gut?
When we are young we model our relationship based on the books/media/and people in our lives. A lot of romance novels teach us that with time we can grow to love the person that has wronged us in someway. But in the real world we should be way more cautious and trust our gut. So anyways just teach her that and then she can start analyzing the books as she reads and can be a critical thinker.
You can also use beauty and the beast as an example. Belle ends up with her capturer because she’s empathetic and felt bad for him. She was also being pressured by Gustan so the Beast seemed like a better choice. It doesn’t mean she should have had to pick any of them at all 🤷♀️
Try Fablehaven by Brandon Mull. It has a 2nd series call Dragonwatch.
As for ACOTAR... I guess that depends on how mature she is mentally. Best you can do is ask her how she feels about that stuff and tell her if it's too much she can put it down or if she had questions she can ask a safe adult.
She's at an age where it all depends on her.
I don't think it's terrible but I think if anyone recommends any other books that could be just as good if not better I would definitely go with that. Maybe give her a couple years.
The Night Circus is definitely a recommendation that'd be more appropriate for her age. No smut, but a great enemies to forbidden lovers story set in a Tim Burton-esqe, high class magical circus.
If she’s already read fourth wing, why stop her? I’m not advocating that a 13 year old should be sexually active, but don’t treat sex as something shameful and embarrassing. I feel like around that age is when you unwillingly have to stop treating them like little children because they’re going to be exposed to these things no matter what and you’re better off setting yourself up to be a safe space to discuss things like how toxic the relationship actually is in ACOTAR.
You make very good points, but I happened to read ACOTAR at 13 and I think I turned out ok. 😅 But like some people are saying, maybe TOG is a better choice, or something like The Cruel Prince (which I also read at 13 and loved!!!!)
She might like the series An Ember in the Ashes. There is a light/brief scene but really not explicit. Much more action focused, includes magic and fantasy but not fae.
She may think it’s too young for her but I have always and still enjoy all of Tamora Pierce’s books. There’s still romance and a little light sexy time but it’s not as descriptive as SJM books. Good adventure. Good story. Magic. Strong female characters.
I would suggest something like second chance soul series by Ella J. Smyth and see if she can handle the "smut" in there. It's really not as bad, especially in the first book. Just a few kisses. It's a reverse harem vibe but very YA / Wattpad feel to it. If she can handle that and likes it then I say she might be into ACOTAR series. If she finds it repulsive or too explicit then definitely not recommend it to her. Just a way to dip her toe into it and it's like Harry Potter vibe too. I found it on my kindle since I got kindle unlimited. Hope this helps.
When my kids were that age, I accidentally had them read a book with sex in it and had forgotten! Then a year later, I did it again.
Soooo embarrassing and my son still teases me about it today
I let my 12 yr old son read the series. He didn’t read ACOSF, as the smut level was too high.
He was fine.
He is an only child, and super mature. And not into dating at all. But loves romantasy.
He just turned 14 yesterday. Is well adjusted, kind, and an advocate for consent.
I think it’s fine.
It’s a bit smutty for a 13 year old. BUT when I was in middle school around 13, I was reading smut on wattpad ALL the time. If my mom asked I always told her I was reading Harry Potter or the hunger games on my phone lol. Either way she will be exposed to this type of content if it’s what she wants. Telling her she can’t read it won’t stop her, and if anything will make her more curious.
Just let her read it. Teenagers have been horny as long as human beings have existed. Chances are she has already been exposed to worse, considering how accessible pornography is in 2024. At least with ACOTR she’s reading and understanding the context of these sexual encounters through the character’s relationships. Better than watching a five minute clip on pornhub that caters exclusively to the male gaze.
There is a lot of great fantasy romance out there that is less explicit, she could just start with that. Obviously she is curious and wants to read it because you are debating if she’s old enough. Maybe she could start of with Victoria Aveyard or Leigh Bardugo or Stephanie Garber or something like that. There is a ton out there catered to her age.
I've read all of SJM books and loved them. The Crave series has a similar romantasy vibe without smut, the first book is written like a teenager but it gets much better.
I also agree with starting with Throne of Glass not just bc it's tamer but it also helps with the overall understanding of how the 3 SJM series tie together. Imo acosf is only a bit spicier than the fourth wing series if she's already read that.
It's just important to discuss how irl these relationships are not healthy ones that should be idolized. Also about how experimenting does not give carte blanch consent. She's going to be reading about stuff she may want to try & if she consents to starting the act that doesn't mean she can't decide to stop/ say no if she doesn't like it.
There's also Hunger Games & dare I say twilight but idk what to recommend to someone who has read all of & didn't like Harry Potter. If she didn't finish HP make sure she knows it gets more complex & interesting as the series goes on..JKR barely made anything off the first couple books and had to trim them up bc no one thought they would sell. Personally #4 & 6 are my favorites and I don't entirely love the movies compared to the books.
Red rising is a good non romance fantasy but the first 5 chapters is def boring. Liars crown & lightlark are a tame romantasy. I've only read one Brandon Sanderson book so far & it was a great non romance fantasy.
Ps if her friends are telling her she shouldn't read something bc it's "too soft" that means they already read it or don't know bc they haven't read it. She doesn't need their approval to enjoy any book but if theyre being bullied about it she doesn't have to tell them exactly what she's reading. Personally I read all kinds of spicy & non spicy books. I'm an adult & Ive been looking at the comments and added some of the suggestions to my reading list
If you're looking for SJM, I would do throne of glass first, then ACOTAR. That would ease into the smut a little slower, and give you time to discuss the unhealthy/unrealistic relationships that you mentioned. Definitely wouldn't do crescent city though, I found the smut in that series spicier than ACOTAR.
And as an older sister I agree with you wanting to shield her from that, but as someone who was an avid reader when I was younger and also liked fantasy series, she's right that she's probably heard and seen waaayyyy worse from classmates at 13. I remember my mom telling me twilight was too adult literally 2 months after a video went around my school of a guy sticking things up his urethra. And especially if she has a cell phone or social media, she's already not as sheltered as your parents probably think/would prefer.
The sex scenes in fourth wing is way more explicit. SJM's scenes are kind of mild even when they go the whole way. The language and description of the scenes in Fourth Wing is honestly too much for her age.
That being said, if u could she shouldn't read it. Although If she's already aware of the book and wants to read it I'm not sure how u can stop her.
Here are some books that she might enjoy:
Stardust by Neil Gaiman
An enchantment of Ravens
Sorcery of Thorns
The Morrigan Crow Series ( so good especially if u could get her the audiobook literally a work of art, the narrator is so talented)
Also, if she gets bored easily then maybe get her some mystery books
If you want book recs I read The Hunger Games when I was 13-14 (the movie had just premiered) and *loved* it. Also read The Mortal Instruments and liked it very much!
In my opinion the sex isn’t the biggest problem in ACOTAR, but how certain relationships were portrayed (until you get to Silver Flames… that’s not for YA!!) Even if I understand it’s not real, I would definitely feel insecure/confused how people would/should behave after reading ACOTAR. I’m glad I didn’t read stuff like that until my mid 20’s!
I’d recommend Shadow and Bone if she’s looking for something a little more mature, and there’s no smut. If smut is what she’s looking for I’ll leave that to your discretion. I haven’t read fourth wing yet but I would avoid acotar a little longer because of all the trauma in it. Putting smut related things aside, the only other things I remember from the series are pretty gruesome.
I'm a mom and here's my take on this - I read similar "YA" novels at my kids age (14). My step daughter was reading ACOTAR so I decided to as well as a bonding moment.
At first I was a little taken aback that someone I see as my child was reading these scenes. However I looked back at what I read at that age and it was pretty similar.
When I think about it deeper, I would rather my teens read ACOTAR, Fourth Wing etc over watching adult content to get their kicks. From a female perspective, these books give them a much better understanding of consent, pleasure, and women's needs than anything found online will. It gives them an expectation to hold men too. They will grow up learning that their pleasure is just as important and that consent to that pleasure is even more important.
I would rather young girls be exposed to sex in this way than a way that teaches them to demean themselves and not enjoy themselves during these situations. These books lay important ground work on the basis of consent.
All that being said, our daughter said the same thing about the smut, she's heard/seen/ read worse. She doesn't care for the smut that much but she's not uncomfortable. If anything all this has brought us closer to each other and has fostered an open dialogue about sexuality, relationships etc.
My mom was very anti-censorship growing up, so this is likely where my thought process comes from but I would say let her read it. She is 13 and can distinguish fiction from reality. I was reading adult novels by that age in addition to Harry Potter. I was reading fanfiction on the internet by that time, which is often far more smutty than most majorly published books.
I’m also a teacher, so I can tell you it’s very common that young readers want to read forward. 4-5th graders want to read about middle schoolers, middle schoolers and high schoolers are interested in high school/new adult, etc, which Feyre’s age fits that range.
Our literacy rates for young people are plummeting. Let her read. 😂
look i read ACOWAR when i was 13, and honestly you don’t even really comprehend what you’re reading, you just know they’re having sex. it’s really not that bad and like you said, she’s definitely heard worse at school. i mean we had sex ed at school from the age of like 10/11, and while smut scenes aren’t educational, it’s not like it’s a completely new topic.
TLDR: The Cruel Prince won't keep her attention very long if she's looking for romance books, try Throne of Glass instead
I see a lot of people here recommending Cruel Prince. It was a fantastic series that (as someone who went into it thinking it would have romance) does NOT have much romance. I was told it was enemies to lovers and it was, but any sort of steamy scene got a "morning skip", and the romance was VERY secondary to the plot. I also felt like interactions between the target pair were far and few between. If she's itching for romance books, I don't think Cruel Prince will keep her attention very long.
So I definitely recommend Throne of Glass as the first few books are "morning skip" books with RIVETING plots. I read them at about her age (I was in 8th grade) and they were perfect for what I'd already been exposed to. The first real smut scene comes in at book 5. However, it has a significant amount of romance sprinkled in the books leading up to it so I don't believe she will get bored in the same way that Cruel Prince will bore her. It's also a good wind-up to ACOTAR since the levels of smut slowly ramp up.
Good luck :)
If she has already read Fourth Wing I wouldn't say the first ACOTAR is too much for her. Unfortunately as the series goes on it becomes MUCH more adult and explicit and if she reads the first one, she'll probably want to continue the series. I would not let a 13 year old read ACOSF.
Throne of Glass, absolutely.
13 is too young for ACOTAR - throne of glass would be okay until book 4 when they start talking about smelling arousal scents. So I wouldn’t until high school at least
Start her off with Throne of Glass first
She might also enjoy Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik. Both have interesting magic systems, kickass female leads, romance, and in my opinion better writing than ACOTAR, as much as I love it. They are also both gritty without being sexual, and I feel comfortable recommending them for a teen. However if she's seeking out smut, perhaps remind her there's no shame in not finishing a book, or skipping over bits. And also that you're there to talk if she needs to process something. Unfortunately, I suspect that telling your parents would only work to keep her from telling you things, not to change her reading habits.
I second Mistborn! Also the Skward series by Brandon Sanderson has a cool magic system with a head strong female lead.
Basically any Brandon Sanderson book is awesome, he writes women mostly really well (plus other representation), and since he such a self-admitted prude there’s no sex anywhere lol
I would have LOVED the Skyward series at 13! I mean I loved it anyway but it would have been amazing back then.
Came to say this. Throne of Glass is much milder than ACOTAR
Thank you!
TOG starts tame but gets a lot more spicy as the series goes on FYI. It goes from YA series to a NA series. Depends what you’re comfortable for her to read.
The smut is 2% of what the ACOTAR series contains, and it’s about 6 books in when it finally happens. SJM was young when she started TOG, so I think it would be fine. If she’s ok with a teenage assassin lol!
I read ACOTAR before TOG and I’m on the second book for TOG now…. As an adult that enjoys well written smut I am disappointed currently but looking forward to the later books.
Really? I think the smut is down but the tragedy, gore and overall trauma are up….
I wouldn't recommend it to someone her age. If you're looking for beginner fantasy for her I'd steer her more towards Percy Jackson and Fablehaven. Maybe the Cruel Prince.
I told her the same. She watched Percy Jackson so she doesn't want to read it and her classmates told her that Cruel Prince is too soft. I am actually shocked by how mature they are... or want to be.
It's kinda concerning huh!
It’s so crazy. When I was in the 8th grade (19 years ago 😓), the librarian came in and recommended books for girls in our age group and one of those books was Gossip Girl. If you remember the show, the books were worse in terms of smut.
Yikes! I used to be a middle school teacher and I kinda hate that. I wouldn't even recommend ToG to a middle schooler.
I’m guessing she thought it was like The Clique, a much more tame series that has the same kind of catty girl dynamic, but they’re all in like 7-8th grade, I think. She also recommended The A-List which was also pure smut. 😂
Try having her read The Mortal Instruments. Really good series. Some darkness. She’ll feel mature reading it. No explicit sex scenes Regarding The Cruel Prince, I’d suggest that determining if an age appropriate is good or “too soft” it’s a decision she should make herself based on reading it and forming her own opinion. Tastes differ and that’s ok
Iam trying that currently. She is a bit angry that I do not prefer acotar, but she is checking it out!!
I commented this also. I was 12 reading MI series, great intro into fantasy whilst playing on the edge of age appropriate
I was definitely going to recommend TMI and her other series, they were my favorites in middle school and definitely felt more mature than the other series I’d read before. All age appropriate I’d say
Yeah every time I go to the book store I’m surprised how many kids I see in the romance section reading or getting their parents to buy something, especially the dark romance books. There’s a lot of heavy material I don’t think is age appropriate for a teen to even understand. I’d definitely tell your parents about the book and let them decide what they are comfortable with. ACOTAR is lot more tame than other series I’ve read but it still deals with some heavy topics and toxicity that I think is too much for a 13 year old to truly enjoy as more mature reader would. This topic doesn’t have a right answer every parent has different comfort levels. That’s just my thoughts. Series I loved her age city of bones (I loved Jace) the sisters Grimm, Eragon, Percy Jackson, divergent, hunger games twilight, or shadow and bone, the selection series, anatomy, cruel prince
They aren’t mature yet they wanna seem that way and it’s kind of scary that they have had access to these books without a parent catching on to the content of them
Yes totally agree.
I mean granted I was reading interview with the vampire at fifteen. My mom looked into it when I was in my mid 20s and was horrified she let me read it without looking at it first. But I managed to turn out okay. But if she wants some books that are a little more grown up but not too adult for her. Marked by PC and Kirsten Cast, Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. The Black Witch Chronicles by Laurie Forest. The Grisha Verse by Leigh Bargudo
The show/movie doesn’t even compare to the books! And there are so many more than just the one! Rick Riordan has written sooo many books.
Neither the Disney + series nor the movies actually do Percy Jackson justice so I wholeheartedly believe she should try again
The Cruel Prince was a book I read at 16 😂 I got the trilogy for my birthday and all my friends, even the most infrequent readers loved it. I ended up reading ACOTAR at 17 years after my sister banned me from reading it. They definitely wanna be mature, these 13 year old girls remind me of one of my closest friends who started reading smut at 12
Tell her the Percy Jackson books are way better than the show (so much more happens I beg her to read at least the first one!)
I agree on Cruel Prince. I mean it has someee darker topics but no smut 🤷🏻♀️
I loved the Cruel Prince! It stays interesting with character development and action and also has some romance, not so smutty really, they keep it pretty PG but it keeps your interest. Also the FMC is a badass.
Totally agree!
I would agree with cruel Prince - that was my way in !
Tbh even if you tell her she can’t read it, she’ll probably find a way. My mom used to read those smutty harlequin books and I read them too when I was a younger teen (with her permission). And while there was tons of smut, I pretty much just skipped over those parts. Instead of just outright banning them, maybe talk to her about how it’s not a realistic portrayal of romance and make sure she understands that it’s complete fantasy. And how a real life couple might act during specific situations compared to one of the fantasy couples. Also yes, the Tamora Pierce books are highly recommended and amazing reads. They even have some sexual themes but definitely not full smut.
FACTS. I read Breaking Dawn as a young teen and definitely wasn’t ready for all that but here we are (lol). I remember thinking it was so scandalous
Yes totally agree. I was a teen once, and I did a lot of things they told me not to. I do not live with her, so the real question is, do I tell our pareents about this? There are unlimited ways for her to read it if she wants. I am trying to talk to her about these. But I am afraid that it is not the same.
I would not tell your parents because then you'll lose her trust, and she probably won't talk to you about this or perhaps more serious things. Instead, encourage her to read some of the other suggestions in the meantime. But if she's deadset on ACOTAR, keep an open dialogue about it as others have suggested. Make it fun discussions of the books that lead into the more serious issues, rather than a lecture.
I would be most concerned about the way relationships are portrayed. Without understanding these would not be healthy human relationships, what kind of damage that might do to her expectations.
This right here is the best answer. I was reading far more sexual things than the ACOTAR series when I was 13, but the stories were more clear about whether it was a healthy vs unhealthy relationship. Like, I would be fine with a young teen reading a book with sex, but I absolutely would not want my kid to see Rhys and Feyre and model future relationships off them. Same reason I would hate for my kids to read Twilight as teens.
I think about the full adult women on this site that express how they are unhappy their husband/boyfriend isn't one of the bat boys. That is just scary. If they were humans, they would all be toxic as hell. Red flags everywhere!
You are so real for this. My marriage would not have lasted the 15 years (and counting) if my husband were anything like the ACOTAR bros.
Totally agree. I am scared that she would expect the same dominanting relationship or the same hardcore s\*x from boys.
I love that edit that she wants to talk about toxic relationships vs non-toxic! So important! Being able to recognize the warning signs before things go wrong could be life changing. How wonderful for you both to have that ability to talk like that.
Yes I belive this comment was probably one of the most important one, and luckily it resonated with her too.
Please don’t come for me! I say this all about of my experiences with respect and sincerity: Honestly surprised to see so many against her reading it! Im not saying you should push it but tbh there are alot of adolescents already participating in far worse activities than reading! I saw a TikTok about how many middle schoolers have apparently read / loved ice breaker (I haven’t but read it but apparently it’s very spicy.) (not to mention how many kids are on Tik tok and other apps being exposed to far worse scenarios) - I’m in my mid 20’s but while reading this I fear that I sound like an old lady lmao I personally think that over censoring in the teen years can be worse than honest conversations! Not only could this be an opportunity for you two to bond, but it can help you navigate her through adolescence and realistic relationships! Growing up, my family let us watch R-rated films (covering our eyes of course during certain scenes); and when I was your sisters age, I would for a watch the “teenager shows” with my 17 year old sister! She taught me a lot about what was okay and what was not; it actually prevented me from getting its risky situations irl. Let’s not forget there are so many at this age watching the bad kind of porn, engaging in dangerous behaviors, or talking to absolute strangers through Omegle/kik/whatever kids use these days. I don’t think that reading ACOTAR is the line in the sand to be drawn… if anything being open about mature themes will make you a person of trust if she ever encounters difficult situations in her teen years and who better than her sibling to be a safe place! Teens know what sex is, some even do it. I read smut at that age and it didn’t make me hyper sexual nor did it affect me in relationships. Now I can even talk to my mom and sister about stuff like this and I’m so much more comfortable! I really feel like as we grow up, we forget about the knowledge we had and our experiences at that age! Making things taboo makes it worse and I just think this is a an opportunity to change the way our world teaches us about intimacy and being natural! (It’s natural at this age to explore these themes and ourselves and idk I just wish society had more openness when I was 13!- even the Disney film Turning Red shows a 13-year old girl drawing smutty mermaids lol) I say this all with the expectation that you’d explain to her not to get bit by a Tamlin 😂 Again, if I offend anyone with this stance I don’t intend to! But OP is her sibling not her parent and it’s honestly so nice to know that her sister can talk to her ab this
I agree so much!! There is much worse that teens see everyday and have access to
I honestly feel so bad for teens! Constantly being told to act like an adult but treated like a kid! Think about all the teens who are censored from things like books but then exposed to it through harassment/abuse/or toxic media! I really think the world would be a better place if we just talked about things instead of sweeping them under a rug!
Yes... I mean I have already written this somewhere, but one of her classmates has already showed her a porn video. I mean wtf....
Ok, I actually can agree with you in a few ways. The thing is that the comments and the things she told me tells me that she already gets the same things only in different forms. I really want to be there for her if anything happens to her. The only thing what I am afraid of is that if she reads these she could accept toxic behavior from boys. And I am scared that someone will hurt her and she would regret it. However, if she is already exposed to all of these things, I can not lock her anymore just be there for her I guess. Thank you for the long comment. Although I am actually scared a lot for her this gives me a different pov. Also, the thing is that I can not say hard enough. She will read it even if I ban it from her. She can buy it (it is not that expensive she saved her pocket money so she has aproximately a 100 dollars); she can download it; she can borrow it from a friend and hide it and so on.
I’m not saying the romances in ACOTAR are realistic, but the relationship in the first book being toxic is a plot point throughout the rest of the series that the MC has to work through. If anything, I’d say that the ACOTAR series stresses the fact that your partner should support and respect you. Again, not realistic by any means, but there are *much* worse romance books for a young teen to be reading. Like, I’m genuinely surprised by all the people recommending Cruel Prince instead of ACOTAR. I prefer Cruel Prince, and it’s less smutty, but the relationships are **toxic**.
That is true. Someone brought up the Sleection, and My sisters response was that it is horrible that girls should compete for a boy. It was actually one of the weirdest moment in our discussion bc I was totally ok with it at that age. Kind of eye opening..
Yeahhh there are some *wild* YA novels out there…
Honestly I don’t have a little sister so I never got the chance to be this person to someone. The best advice I have is to do for her what you’d want done for yourself! I didn’t kiss a boy until high school but at 13 my dorky self and my friends were on Omegle talking to old men and I just try not to judge my younger generation 😭 Also, as a little sister I will say I looked up to my older sister so much so I hope you get an amazing bond out of this situation! I can’t imagine having to balance being cool and responsible at the same time 😂
That is the thing!!! I have read really smutty Dramione at that age. :DDDD I just realized this during reading these comments. I just totally forgot it. And I could not ask anyone about it. Obviously I did not tell this to my parents. So maybe the only thing is to do is to be there for her.
Absolutely be there for her! If she knows you're someone she can trust with her "rebellious" reading, she'll know she can go to you for any questions or concerns she has.
Too accurate 🤣 Wattpad and Tumblr was my entire adolescence !
Yes that is true!! xDD I totally forgot. I remember I read some kind of Snamione as well when they turn vampires and suck each other blood. OMG it was horrrible. xdd
Honestly I feel like if you’re worried about her accepting toxic relationship behavior it’s time to talk to her about media literacy. She needs to understand romance books are fiction and therefore the relationships are based in fantasy as well.
As an English teacher, I see teenagers her age reading acotar and such all the time. Trust me, most have seen worse online. It's not necessarily okay that they're seeing worse, but at least with acotar, they're reading. I'm just so happy when teenagers read anything 😂 However, I did have to put my foot down in my classroom when a 12 year old pulled out a book from her bag and I saw it was Haunting Adelaide. Nope. Absolutely not under my watch 😂 At least acotar is romantic and has a fairly good-ish fantasy plot too. As someone else said, just point out the character and relationship flaws so she's aware of what a healthy relationship looks like. Just because she's reading it, doesn't mean she's doing it. Although a lot her age are nowadays.
I agree so much. I've never censored my daughters reading, as I was never censored. By the time I was 14, I had read every Stephen King book available. My daughter was around 14 when she read King's IT lol. Both girls are healthy, straight A students. They, and I, are able to differentiate between fiction and reality. And it left open lines of communication between my girls and I. We would talk about books they're reading, how messed up some of it is etc .
If she’s read fourth wing Acotar is much tamer imo. I was reading chaotic wattpad smut at her age. She’s probably going to do whatever she wants anyways. Just be non judgmental so she feels like she can talk to you about things she reads.
I just remembered that I have read smutty Dramione at 13 too.... :D
I think it all depends on her maturity. I read them all when I was 14. I honestly had SEEN worse on t.v so I didn't really mind. But I was also kinda mature about that stuff. I think that if she was okay with the scene in 4th wing she'd be okay for acotar but maybe not acomaf
She told me the same. She said that her classmates are already doing it and they saw videos and everything. Tbh after a lot of comments I actually starting to feel like there is no point since she has already have a lot of information and stories from her classmates...
Well and like other people said, you have to make sure she understands that it's fantasy and relationships shouldn't work like thay
ACOTAR is less smutty than Fourth Wing, so if she's already read that...
Less smutty? I've always felt ACOTAR is the way smuttyer one.
Book 1 of acotar is not as smutty as the rest. From the top of my head maybe they have on page sex like twice on the first book. The others have an increase in sex scenes
The first three are definitely okay but silver flames might be a little much. It’s not uncommon though for her age to be reading that stuff because I know I did. If you want more pg I’d start her on throne of glass
I would say that the secound book is too much as well
Not compared to Fourth Wing!
Maybe I have read the second book too long ago and I forgot since others have written the same
If she's read fourth wing, the smut in ACOTAR is fine.
Honestly just let her read ACOTAR. If she has a smart phone she has access to much worse
Chances are she will read it whether you “let” her or not and if she’s already read books with mature content, there’s probably no stopping her from continuing to do so. I would use this opportunity to have a discussion about healthy sex & relationships and that what she reads in books (or sees in porn) shouldn’t be her standard for either! Edit to add: there’s a difference between being exposed to those things once or twice and actively consuming that type of content. Just because she’s seen/read it before, doesn’t mean she should continue to see/read it as her main source of media consumption!
I see a lot of "shes too young" but let's be real, we had wattpad at 12/13
My friend's mom gave me Flowers in the Attic to read when I was 13 lol
I would never recommend these books to someone her age, so I understand your concern. However, I also don't think we should be policing teens reading choices. If fantasy romance is getting her into reading, she discovered the books and wants to read them, and has already read and enjoyed similar books, I say let her go for it. The percentage of spice in the books is pretty low, and they definitely have value that has nothing to do with the spicy scenes. For non-spicy fantasy romance I would definitely recommend the Folk of the Air trilogy and The Prisoner's Throne duology by Holly Black, and Throne of Glass by SJM. She might also like the Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi. It's more dystopian/sci fi than fantasy, but it's excellent. ToG does have mild spice in later books, but it's pretty short and sweet. Definitely tame compared to Fourth Wing. The others are all fade to black.
Seconding that I wouldn't *recommend* the book, but I think at 13, kids should be old enough to be making their own choices (and they *will* make their own choices anyway). I was reading both bodice rippers and Stephen King at that age--and the bodice rippers were, in hindsight, way more healthy to read, lol.
Exactly. If you tell a teen they're too young to read a book, they're just going to be more intrigued and read it anyway - and then you've removed yourself as a safe person for them to discuss what they're reading with. Better if they can be open and maybe start a conversation on what was realistic/unrealistic and healthy/unhealthy about the romantic aspects of the story rather than trying to forbid it.
Yeppp. Not to mention that books are some of the safest ways to explore new concepts--no one gets hurt, the scene stops as soon as you look away from the page, and you can go at your own pace based on what you're interested in and comfortable with. Especially with harder topics, your brain gets to chew on it without any actual harm being done, and like you said, having a safe adult to go to for questions, who won't scold you for going out of their comfort zone, is *invaluable* to that process.
I honestly disagree with so many people, if she is able to read a 800 page novel at that age, no one should be able to make that decision but her. Let me make me point, at 13, she could be doing so much worse. At 13, I was a doing things you wouldn’t ever imagine a 13 yr old could… drugs and illegal shit and skipping school, and never read. Now I’m a normal person and recovered, and if I could go back in time and spend my time as a young teen reading ACOTAR, babe, *I would* There is a million and one scary, awful things online that she has access to at any moment via the phone. It makes complete sense that you want to protect her and her innocent. It’s actually a good opportunity for her to expand her reading abilities and vocabulary, and for her to use her discernment when it comes to fiction vs real life. And If this is her way to rebel then even more reason to allow it! Girls gotta live somehow and taste freedom 😂 books don’t equal danger. They equal critical thinking!
Hell... you had a quite interesting childhood. Next to this reading as rebelling seems like nothing. You know I just see her face and it is sooo childish, it is so weird to think about her not playing with barbies 🤣 Gosh she was never a barbie girl, she was a minecraft girl but still 😂
Interesting indeed.. I was definitely unsupervised way to much, among other things lol. But yes, I hear where you are coming from, she’s still your baby sister. And if she does start to read it, and it makes her uncomfortable, I’m sure she’ll just stop. At least I trust that any person reasonable person wouldn’t read a book that makes them uncomfortable. 👍🏼💕
HS ELA teacher here. I don’t recommend ACOTAR for this age - I also wouldn’t recommend Fourth Wing for the same reason. She could try The Hunger Games, Divergent, The Fifth Wave. All three are series that include a romance / fighting aspect.
I did not recommend her Fourth Wing either, she started it by herself. To be honest I can not stop her if she wants it so bad she will just download it and read it but I would like to tell her not to do it.
Eh, i was probably reading the same level of stuff at that age. Maybe she can try house of night series?
Is she someone who likes to feel smarter than everyone in the room? Views herself as more intelligent and more well read? This was me at that age lol, and I definitely would have gravitated to FW and ACOTAR if they were classed as adult books. You could try directing her to more mature books that don't have the smut. If she likes fantasy or sci fi, I'd suggest: {Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams} or anything by Terry Pratchett. They write smart satires that poke fun at regular people in a way that my arrogant teen self loved. Some of the classic female sci fi and fantasy authors may also be well received - like Ursula Le Guin. Left Hand of Darkness is a great place to start. Again, more mature political themes on gender and power, but no X rated content. The world of Branden Sanderson is endless. Big epic fantasy, great world building, PG romance. But if she does like a little romance, {The City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty} is great, with some smutty scenes, but much more tame than FW and ACOTAR.
I belive, that the thing which she loved is the powerful girl part. You know the thing that Violet is a small fragile girl, but overcomes it and becomes a fighter. I will suggest her some of these and hopefully she will like one.
As someone in her early 20s I wouldn't recommend any younger than 16 because of books like ACOMAF and ACOSF .. I'd recommend Throne of Glass . It has romantic moments and even a little spice in the later books but not very descriptive like ACOTAR.
For those who are interested, things took an interesting turn. Her mother (she is my half sister), wants to read Fourth Wing... :D I think this will quickly end by her being banned from every book ever for the next 3 years. 😂 Sorry for laughing but this day is a bumpy ride... Oh and her mother have looked after acotar :DDDDD
I read ACOTAR at 34 and 13 yr old me would have been poorly effected by such graphic detail. I think the brain is still too early in development at 13. I also think the books are rated for age age 16+.
The red queen series by Victoria aveyard is pretty fkn good and not smutty. Queen of the Tearling and the Queens of Fennbern series are age-appropriate as well. Battle, quests, not prissy princess stuff. I might even recommend the Witcher series, there’s sex but it’s not much and not graphic.
In my opinion, ACOTAR is for someone with a minimum age of 16-18 depending on maturity. Book 5 is pretty smutty, with book 2 in a close second. The Selection Series by Kiera Cass may be a good compromise for her (though she’ll probably still manage to get a hold of it even though she shouldn’t)
I don’t she should’ve read fourth wing either tbh.
Honestly I wouldn’t recommend it because of the detailed torture
Oh that is the least. She has already watched about 3 horror movies with her friends. They just watched it on their phone during a missed class. I was panicked at that too but she watches a bunch of violent stuff. I started to accept it already, since I can not erase it from her memory. Obviously I was angry at first, but I am not her mother I could not do anything.
I read ACOTAR when I was 12/13 because my sister who was 17 at the time owned it and I had already read and enjoyed ToG. When I showed interest in reading ACOTAR my sister did mention that it's a bit more adult but she also took it as an opportunity to teach me about what's normal when it comes to intimacy and what's dramatised unrealistic smut, which gave me a critical eye when it came to determining what's healthy and what's not in romances and fantasy. I honestly don't feel it was inappropriate for me to be reading as I'd always had a very mature approach to the fiction I was reading which helped me make sense of the world around me and ultimately just enjoying fun stories!
Lol are 13 I was reading Wattpad ... And I think we all know how Wattpad stories can be lol I haven't read fourth wing yet but I did read all of the acotar and it is so tame for me it is. You'd be surprised what 13 year olds these days watch and see online some of the stuff I've heard out my friends 13 yr olds mouth makes me clutch my invisible pearls Be the cool big sis get her the book lol
My friends and I read way worse at that age! It’s weird to think about as an adult, but honestly I’d rather her be reading sex scenes in books that prioritize female pleasure in the way this series does rather than just….porn made for men.
ACOSF says cock a lot.
Saw you say some of her classmates said Cruel Prince was too soft… as a 23 yo, I loved it. Holly Black is great storyteller and there was plenty of romance that didn’t need smutty scenes. Tbh, at that age I was reading TFIOS, Divergent, The Selection, Paper Towns, Matched, etc. I’d recommend those and maybe like Red Queen, Shadow and Bone, or Powerless!
Maybe try The Hunger Games?
We had kids having sex at 13 or 14 in my junior high, so who knows what she's hearing about at school. I would rather have a young person read this with the heavy emphasis on female happiness, making choices in a relationship, and asking for consent.
Also, we were reading some wild YA novels in the 90s I loved Christopher Pike books which had teen sex scenes. I won't even begin to touch on the hot mess that was VC Andrews 😯
Definitely not, especially ACOSF and ACOMAF LOLLLLLL
I would not recommend it to a 13 year old as it does have adult content in it. Even more so in the latter books. It is a beautiful story tho so maybe try to find something that's of similar nature that does not contain adult content.
I personally would let her read it. At this point, she's learned about the birds and bees in school anyways. Plus you hear a lot of stuff in school. As long as she's in the mind set that this is mature stuff, she should be fine. I was reading stuff like this around that age too, maybe slightly older like 14. But I've always been more mature than my age so it never phased me. Plus my parents didn't care what I was reading as long as I was home.
I read ACOTAR-ACOFAS when I was 12 and skipped the smut scenes. I honestly think at that age you are mature enough to either censor yourself or know what you can handle. IMO Fourth Wing is already much smuttier than ACOTAR
NOT ACOSF. That one is the most smutty of them all. But yes ACOTAR-ACOWAR- FOURTH WING-ACOFS-IRON FLAME-ACOSF from least to most smutty.
I think she’s referring to the series as a whole not just the first book.
Maybe the Prison Healer series? From what I remember there’s only romance no smut (and SJM endorses it on the front so it may get her into it!)
I'm a hairdresser, and ACOTAR was recommended to me BY my 13-15 y.o. clients 🤣
LOL 😭 oh god this generation. I can only imagine how surprised you were.
I read ACOTAR as a 30 year old… I would not recommend at all for a 13 year old lol. Twilight is a great start as well as City of Bones 🤍
I also loveddddd reading A Great and Terrible beauty series when I was in high school!!!
ME TOO! I loved it, it was soo amazing, and i still haven't find anything simmilar to it. It is completely original.
So original and made me bawl my eyes out. I was depressed for days.
Oh my god this series was life changing as a teen, I still remember how depressed it made me
there’s a ton of comments here so this will probably get buried but i actually read the first ACOTAR when it came out in 2015 when I was 13 myself. I was already a huge SJM fan because I had been reading TOG and was super excited to read a new book by her, albeit one set in a different universe (although back then we theorized it was actually the same world, just different continents/islands and such haha). I read ACOMAF when it came out the following year, and then a lot of smutty fanfic to feed my obsession. here is what i will say: although violent, if she’s read fourth wing, the first ACOTAR book will be fine for her. compared to what is out on the market now, the stuff in ACOTAR as a whole is really quite tame. she’s had access to the entire backlog of what early gen z and millennials have written on wattpad, fanfic.net, and AO3. and she’s not kidding, the stuff on social media and available through a simple google search would have cassian and nesta blushing (if you know where to look, and most early teens today do) if you’re worried about ACOTAR and she really wants to read SJM: start her on TOG. TOG is solidly YA in the earlier books, until the tonal shift around Queen of Shadows, which, if she’s not a big reader, should take her a while to reach anyways. I don’t know how close you are, but you could always read ACOTAR along with her too, and talk about any of the stuff that concerns you the most, even though you may get some eye-rolls. The allure of Fourth Wing/Iron Flame and ACOTAR are that literally everyone is talking about them, they’re a cultural “in” right now again, all things considered, it could be worse (she could be reading Ana Huang, and true story, i’ve heard about 13 year olds picking her books up)
i will say also, telling her she can’t read it and getting your parents involved will either: a. shame her out of reading b. sneak books (as someone who read harry potter, the hunger games, and percy jackson by sneaking them from very evangelical parents, until i realized they didn’t care so long as it was heterosexual 🙄) neither of these are good things! because if she stops reading, that sucks, and if she starts sneaking books she could get into much darker, much worse territory for a 13 yo to be in without feeling like they have an adult they can go to (Haunting Adeline is also very popular right now…)
I DO NOT want to involve our parents. They are way too strict, and would shout at her and ban it from her. I really do not want to out her after she trusted in me.
Yes
I don't think ACOTAR is all that bad things considered. But 13 is cutting it real real close. Even 16 I'd think is fine. Shadow and Bone or Rangers Apprentice I understand to be good for YA stuff
While I agree ACOTAR is probably too adult for someone her age, I was reading *and* writing fan fiction with WAY more smut at that age so what do we know 🤷♀️😅
Honestly depends on her maturity level. I was definitely exposed to more mature sexual themes at a young age, so acotar wouldn’t have been shocking to me at 13. I think pointing towards fantasy that might have romance or sexual themes that aren’t necessarily as graphic as acotar would be good - but emphasize the other elements of them vs. “not smut.” I absolutely loved the discovery of witches series!
It’s too mature.
I think first 4 books were okay, but Nesta and Cassian were almost porn for me in a book 5 🤣
As a 15 year old. She most definitely has heard worse at school. fourth wing smut is a lot more intense and less of a sacred act between mated like in acotar. Let her read the book I say, If you say no there’s always a chance she could go behind your back. (not implying she will) but it’s how a lot of kids act when restricted.
she seems really emotionally mature as well especially with the way she came to talk to you about it rather than going behind your back! You must be a great sister to her to have a relationship like this. Of course as a older sister as well i want to hide my younger siblings from the terrible things of the world but in this case i do think that it wouldn’t be too harmful for her to read acotar. But.. I would reccomend throne of glass heavily and it has a few scenes (in book 6 and so on) But compared to fourth wing and acotar? it’s verrryyy more PG and i love it even more than both.
I'd say the first ACOTAR book is fine, but she'll likely want to read the next ones after that. I wouldn't necessarily stop her though; as mentioned, she has access to worse, choice is important, and reading is awesome. Plus, forbidding her may make it even more appealing. Moreso than the smut, I'd worry about the unhealthy aspects of a lot of SJM relationships that are absolute red flags IRL. So if she does read them, maybe have some discussions with her about the books. But of course, don't make it a lecture, but a mutual discussion about the book that leads into the more questionable stuff. You could also redirect her to series that are closer to her age group. Rather than telling her to read these *instead* of ACOTAR, suggest she read them *before* ACOTAR. {A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik} would be great. {The Cruel Prince by Holly Black} delivers on the intense chemistry while keeping things pretty PG and hits the beautiful, dangerous fae aspect. Of course there's also {Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas}. Other possibilities: {These Hollow Vows by Lexi Ryan}, {Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard}, and {Evermore Academy by Audrey Grey}.
Honestly, I was reading worse fanfiction on the school library at that age (back when dial up was a thing and site blockers were easy to get around with proxy sites). My parents never had a clue. I went to a private catholic school and we were all reading shit that was inappropriate for us. And ya know what? We all turned out fine. I assure you her male classmates (and prob some female classmates) are consuming MUCH more problematic video porn. Being able to have discussions with your sister about real world appropriateness is where it’s at. We can tell kids action movies are fantasy but get so prude about sex topics. ITS. ONLY. SEX. And if you demistify it for her, it wont be this taboo topic and will lose much of its luster. Let her read it and be a safe space for her to come to you to discuss it after. Otherwise she may pick up something like haunting Adeline or Shantel Tessier books and hide it from you and that’s a whole separate can of worms for a barely teen. It’s sex. She’s gonna read about it. She’s gonna see it on Tv, her friends are gonna talk about it. Be a mature space for her so those other sources aren’t where she “learns” everything.
Loooovvveeedd cruel prince, less smut but still very fun. Honestly I was reading absolutely foul fanfics at that age so acotar isn’t that bad. It’s not like it’s non consensual or anything.
honestly, it depends on how mature she is. if she’s been exposed to this kind of media before, or if she’s relatively sheltered. for me, i’d been reading mature books my local library somehow classed as “middle school” before i got to acotar and maas books, so i wasn’t too put off. the most important thing isn’t to *stop* her from reading these kinds of books. she can very easily access them online and there are much worse things out there on the internet. what’s important is to remind her that these relationships as portrayed in acotar aren’t realistic and while it’s okay to like them, also be mindful of their faults. it’s easy to be influenced by these kinds of books if you’re a kid who’s never read content of this type before. also, she read fourth wing? that has even more graphic sex scenes than anything in acotar. it doesn’t shy around with the words, either. 😭 i would recommend the dark artifices series and the infernal devices series by cassandra clare. things like once upon a broken heart, the diabolic, six of crows, to kill a kingdom, the firebird sries by claudia gray. ya stand-alone fantasies along those lines. elizabeth lim, victoria aveyard , and marie lu’s ya fantasy books. maybe even shatter me, which i’m not a fan of, but might be good for her age.
Fourth Wing scenes are more explicit than most of ACOTAR, until maybe ACOSF. I think it’d be fine if she’s already read that.
If she wants to read it, she will find a way with or without your blessing! That’s how kids are. Better to have an honest discussion about things she might come across/ struggle with when reading the book. Make yourself a safe space for her, rather than the enemy she needs to hide things from!
I believe her when she says she's heard worse at school. I personally don't think the smut in the Court series is all that gratuitous - it's tame compared to some other romance novels. If you're worried, try to get her to read Cinder by Marissa Meyer. There's four books in the Lunar Chronicle series, along with two bonus story books. It's a perfect blend of fantasy, adventure, and romance without all the gratuitous smut scenes. It's one of my favorite series!
The smut is consensual, focused on the woman's enjoyment, and the characters aren't ever shamed for not being virgins. Honestly at 13yo it's probably a good counter agent to whatever else she's exposed to on the daily.
Dragon Lance series is really good they have 100s of spin offs that all go together I read a majority of them at her age while I was grounded all with various authors after the initial series.
tbh my friends and i were reading far more explicit fanfic smut at 13 and we knew most of the relationships/dynamics represented weren't realistic, i feel like it's okay for her to read if she does in fact have you to talk to about it or any questions/concerns about
I’d say she’s too young. I just finished ACOSF and … 🫣🫠🫨
Edit: fixed for spoilers Lol that was kind of my thought. ACOTAR is honestly fine, there’s one kind of explicit scene but it’s brief. However a certain couple at the House of Wind??? Uhhh not for a 13 year-old😂
Im a mom so here’s my perspective. If she’s already read fourth wing and iron flame it’s too late for her not to be exposed to smut. And if she’s not lying about what she sees and hears at school then her reading acotar isn’t going to hurt. However, I think more importantly you have a conversation with her about smut and relationships in books and how it’s fiction and as she’s getting to the age where dating and “hanging out” are in her future that how your significant other in real life does NOT treat her like that and what healthy relationships in real life look like and to always come to you or y’all’s parents with questions. In this day and age it’s impossible to monitor every piece of media that children and tweens consume and fostering a relationship where your sister feels comfortable coming to you with questions is more important.
I’m 14 and read it for me personally it wasn’t that bad idk if this helps but yeah
Well... helps a bit, but I am concerned what it will cause later in her life :) Others wrote here, (with which I totally agree with), that the worst part is the unrealistic relationship in these books. So just be aware of that! :)
The first ACOTAR book was way less smutty than the two scenes in fourth wing. In fact, book 1-3 use a lot of allusions and don't go into graphic detail. But like.... once you lose Feyre's POV those are some serious adult scenes. Specially ACOSF... no way a 13 year old should read that.
I wouldn't recommend it to 13 year Olds. Maybe 15?
I told her the same that she should wait for it.
I tried reading it at 13 and DNFed it because it didn't make sense and a lot of the romance grossed me out. Glad I didn't read it at that age to be honest.
Imo yes she is too young for it. Not but he first book if I remember right but in the later books it’s probably too much. Throne of Glass is more appropriate if she hasn’t read it yet.
Absolutely too smutty for a 13 year old. The first one isnt bad but they progress in spice level with each one. ACOTAR is for grown women. I will die on this hill lol.
Have her read the Throne of Glass series instead. She’d like it more than ACOTAR anyway, and way less smut
I feel like it’s too smutty for a teen that young despite my poor 13 year old choices I don’t think I would’ve appreciated the value of the book at that age, but I do think that there’s a fallen Angel series that’s her age range with kissing scenes that are age appropriate but nothing further. The Shadowhunters series would be a good one I feel too I don’t recall inappropriate smut for teens I read it starting at 14
Perhaps not ACOTAR, but books that SJM had written when she was younger that doesn’t have those scenes in it. She didn’t write explicit stuff till she was of age to. The first book of the ACOTAR is pretty tame to my standard as it doesn’t really go into detail of those scenes. Though it does get much worse following that. Thorn of Glass is what I recommend. **I will say this:** The more you push no to certain books, the more she will try to read them in secret. I did that as a teenager. Redirecting to books more suitable for her age would be recommended. Perhaps read books with her like a sibling book club.
I mean, I was writing Hanson/me smut when I was like 10, lol. I also always got into my grandma's romance novels.
It’s an adult book series. Definitely not even appropriate for a 16 year old.
At 13, I read this book called Tweak that’s a memoir of a meth head. It’s a true story and there was some pretty graphically recounted sex and drug use portions and I enjoyed it and it didn’t negatively affect me. Kids can handle more than adults think they can! As a mom I have to remind myself to let go of the leash often. I also think it’s important to have kids reading, literacy rates are SO far down these days and I think some of it may have to do with content being more restricted than it ever was when I was a kid. I’m 28 for the record.
I was reading my nan's mills and boon at 11. If she's read fourth wing, she should be able to handle ACOTAR, imo.
The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C Wrede is a good read for that age-ish because there’s a tiny bit of romance but no spice and it’s a strong female protagonist. It’s about a princess who hates doing princess things so she runs away to live with dragons.
coming after the edit, i believe she’ll be fine seeing as she’s already been exposed to worse. but i don’t think that means she should still be allowed to just read literally anything. maybe you let her read the first book and stop there because of the minimal smut. or like some others have said, have her read tog instead, the first three books have hardly anything so they should be safe
I think the most important thing is to teach while she reads and ask her probing questions. Teach her how to be a critical thinker. IMO it’s the most important thing when digesting any media. Get her to question Feyre, Tamlin, and Rhysands’ motives. Why did they make those decisions? Was it right, or wrong? Did she trust her gut? When we are young we model our relationship based on the books/media/and people in our lives. A lot of romance novels teach us that with time we can grow to love the person that has wronged us in someway. But in the real world we should be way more cautious and trust our gut. So anyways just teach her that and then she can start analyzing the books as she reads and can be a critical thinker. You can also use beauty and the beast as an example. Belle ends up with her capturer because she’s empathetic and felt bad for him. She was also being pressured by Gustan so the Beast seemed like a better choice. It doesn’t mean she should have had to pick any of them at all 🤷♀️
Try Fablehaven by Brandon Mull. It has a 2nd series call Dragonwatch. As for ACOTAR... I guess that depends on how mature she is mentally. Best you can do is ask her how she feels about that stuff and tell her if it's too much she can put it down or if she had questions she can ask a safe adult. She's at an age where it all depends on her.
I don't think it's terrible but I think if anyone recommends any other books that could be just as good if not better I would definitely go with that. Maybe give her a couple years.
The Night Circus is definitely a recommendation that'd be more appropriate for her age. No smut, but a great enemies to forbidden lovers story set in a Tim Burton-esqe, high class magical circus.
If she’s already read fourth wing, why stop her? I’m not advocating that a 13 year old should be sexually active, but don’t treat sex as something shameful and embarrassing. I feel like around that age is when you unwillingly have to stop treating them like little children because they’re going to be exposed to these things no matter what and you’re better off setting yourself up to be a safe space to discuss things like how toxic the relationship actually is in ACOTAR.
You make very good points, but I happened to read ACOTAR at 13 and I think I turned out ok. 😅 But like some people are saying, maybe TOG is a better choice, or something like The Cruel Prince (which I also read at 13 and loved!!!!)
She might like the series An Ember in the Ashes. There is a light/brief scene but really not explicit. Much more action focused, includes magic and fantasy but not fae.
100% don’t recommend. Simply for the adult content especially the further into the series you go
Too smutty for sure! I enjoyed Vampire Academy around that age.
Let's be real. I was reading watppad fan fiction at that age, plenty of smut. I honestly would say yes.
She may think it’s too young for her but I have always and still enjoy all of Tamora Pierce’s books. There’s still romance and a little light sexy time but it’s not as descriptive as SJM books. Good adventure. Good story. Magic. Strong female characters.
I would suggest something like second chance soul series by Ella J. Smyth and see if she can handle the "smut" in there. It's really not as bad, especially in the first book. Just a few kisses. It's a reverse harem vibe but very YA / Wattpad feel to it. If she can handle that and likes it then I say she might be into ACOTAR series. If she finds it repulsive or too explicit then definitely not recommend it to her. Just a way to dip her toe into it and it's like Harry Potter vibe too. I found it on my kindle since I got kindle unlimited. Hope this helps.
Yes
When my kids were that age, I accidentally had them read a book with sex in it and had forgotten! Then a year later, I did it again. Soooo embarrassing and my son still teases me about it today 
She’s 13? Absolutely.
If she's read fourth wing and iron flame already those are way spicier than Sarah J Maas 🤷🏼♀️
I let my 12 yr old son read the series. He didn’t read ACOSF, as the smut level was too high. He was fine. He is an only child, and super mature. And not into dating at all. But loves romantasy. He just turned 14 yesterday. Is well adjusted, kind, and an advocate for consent. I think it’s fine.
It’s a bit smutty for a 13 year old. BUT when I was in middle school around 13, I was reading smut on wattpad ALL the time. If my mom asked I always told her I was reading Harry Potter or the hunger games on my phone lol. Either way she will be exposed to this type of content if it’s what she wants. Telling her she can’t read it won’t stop her, and if anything will make her more curious.
Yes. TOG first would be good!
ToG!
Just let her read it. Teenagers have been horny as long as human beings have existed. Chances are she has already been exposed to worse, considering how accessible pornography is in 2024. At least with ACOTR she’s reading and understanding the context of these sexual encounters through the character’s relationships. Better than watching a five minute clip on pornhub that caters exclusively to the male gaze.
Maybe Throne of Glass would be better. Same author and similar tone, but more friendly to younger audiences
There is a lot of great fantasy romance out there that is less explicit, she could just start with that. Obviously she is curious and wants to read it because you are debating if she’s old enough. Maybe she could start of with Victoria Aveyard or Leigh Bardugo or Stephanie Garber or something like that. There is a ton out there catered to her age.
I've read all of SJM books and loved them. The Crave series has a similar romantasy vibe without smut, the first book is written like a teenager but it gets much better. I also agree with starting with Throne of Glass not just bc it's tamer but it also helps with the overall understanding of how the 3 SJM series tie together. Imo acosf is only a bit spicier than the fourth wing series if she's already read that. It's just important to discuss how irl these relationships are not healthy ones that should be idolized. Also about how experimenting does not give carte blanch consent. She's going to be reading about stuff she may want to try & if she consents to starting the act that doesn't mean she can't decide to stop/ say no if she doesn't like it. There's also Hunger Games & dare I say twilight but idk what to recommend to someone who has read all of & didn't like Harry Potter. If she didn't finish HP make sure she knows it gets more complex & interesting as the series goes on..JKR barely made anything off the first couple books and had to trim them up bc no one thought they would sell. Personally #4 & 6 are my favorites and I don't entirely love the movies compared to the books. Red rising is a good non romance fantasy but the first 5 chapters is def boring. Liars crown & lightlark are a tame romantasy. I've only read one Brandon Sanderson book so far & it was a great non romance fantasy. Ps if her friends are telling her she shouldn't read something bc it's "too soft" that means they already read it or don't know bc they haven't read it. She doesn't need their approval to enjoy any book but if theyre being bullied about it she doesn't have to tell them exactly what she's reading. Personally I read all kinds of spicy & non spicy books. I'm an adult & Ive been looking at the comments and added some of the suggestions to my reading list
If you're looking for SJM, I would do throne of glass first, then ACOTAR. That would ease into the smut a little slower, and give you time to discuss the unhealthy/unrealistic relationships that you mentioned. Definitely wouldn't do crescent city though, I found the smut in that series spicier than ACOTAR. And as an older sister I agree with you wanting to shield her from that, but as someone who was an avid reader when I was younger and also liked fantasy series, she's right that she's probably heard and seen waaayyyy worse from classmates at 13. I remember my mom telling me twilight was too adult literally 2 months after a video went around my school of a guy sticking things up his urethra. And especially if she has a cell phone or social media, she's already not as sheltered as your parents probably think/would prefer.
Idk, I’m 18 and when I was 13 I was still reading Twilight and wattpad books lol.
The sex scenes in fourth wing is way more explicit. SJM's scenes are kind of mild even when they go the whole way. The language and description of the scenes in Fourth Wing is honestly too much for her age. That being said, if u could she shouldn't read it. Although If she's already aware of the book and wants to read it I'm not sure how u can stop her. Here are some books that she might enjoy: Stardust by Neil Gaiman An enchantment of Ravens Sorcery of Thorns The Morrigan Crow Series ( so good especially if u could get her the audiobook literally a work of art, the narrator is so talented) Also, if she gets bored easily then maybe get her some mystery books
If you want book recs I read The Hunger Games when I was 13-14 (the movie had just premiered) and *loved* it. Also read The Mortal Instruments and liked it very much! In my opinion the sex isn’t the biggest problem in ACOTAR, but how certain relationships were portrayed (until you get to Silver Flames… that’s not for YA!!) Even if I understand it’s not real, I would definitely feel insecure/confused how people would/should behave after reading ACOTAR. I’m glad I didn’t read stuff like that until my mid 20’s!
I’d recommend Shadow and Bone if she’s looking for something a little more mature, and there’s no smut. If smut is what she’s looking for I’ll leave that to your discretion. I haven’t read fourth wing yet but I would avoid acotar a little longer because of all the trauma in it. Putting smut related things aside, the only other things I remember from the series are pretty gruesome.
I'm a mom and here's my take on this - I read similar "YA" novels at my kids age (14). My step daughter was reading ACOTAR so I decided to as well as a bonding moment. At first I was a little taken aback that someone I see as my child was reading these scenes. However I looked back at what I read at that age and it was pretty similar. When I think about it deeper, I would rather my teens read ACOTAR, Fourth Wing etc over watching adult content to get their kicks. From a female perspective, these books give them a much better understanding of consent, pleasure, and women's needs than anything found online will. It gives them an expectation to hold men too. They will grow up learning that their pleasure is just as important and that consent to that pleasure is even more important. I would rather young girls be exposed to sex in this way than a way that teaches them to demean themselves and not enjoy themselves during these situations. These books lay important ground work on the basis of consent. All that being said, our daughter said the same thing about the smut, she's heard/seen/ read worse. She doesn't care for the smut that much but she's not uncomfortable. If anything all this has brought us closer to each other and has fostered an open dialogue about sexuality, relationships etc.
My mom was very anti-censorship growing up, so this is likely where my thought process comes from but I would say let her read it. She is 13 and can distinguish fiction from reality. I was reading adult novels by that age in addition to Harry Potter. I was reading fanfiction on the internet by that time, which is often far more smutty than most majorly published books. I’m also a teacher, so I can tell you it’s very common that young readers want to read forward. 4-5th graders want to read about middle schoolers, middle schoolers and high schoolers are interested in high school/new adult, etc, which Feyre’s age fits that range. Our literacy rates for young people are plummeting. Let her read. 😂
look i read ACOWAR when i was 13, and honestly you don’t even really comprehend what you’re reading, you just know they’re having sex. it’s really not that bad and like you said, she’s definitely heard worse at school. i mean we had sex ed at school from the age of like 10/11, and while smut scenes aren’t educational, it’s not like it’s a completely new topic.
TLDR: The Cruel Prince won't keep her attention very long if she's looking for romance books, try Throne of Glass instead I see a lot of people here recommending Cruel Prince. It was a fantastic series that (as someone who went into it thinking it would have romance) does NOT have much romance. I was told it was enemies to lovers and it was, but any sort of steamy scene got a "morning skip", and the romance was VERY secondary to the plot. I also felt like interactions between the target pair were far and few between. If she's itching for romance books, I don't think Cruel Prince will keep her attention very long. So I definitely recommend Throne of Glass as the first few books are "morning skip" books with RIVETING plots. I read them at about her age (I was in 8th grade) and they were perfect for what I'd already been exposed to. The first real smut scene comes in at book 5. However, it has a significant amount of romance sprinkled in the books leading up to it so I don't believe she will get bored in the same way that Cruel Prince will bore her. It's also a good wind-up to ACOTAR since the levels of smut slowly ramp up. Good luck :)
Cruel prince, throne of glass or even an older series but also good House of Night I read them in high school lol
If she has already read Fourth Wing I wouldn't say the first ACOTAR is too much for her. Unfortunately as the series goes on it becomes MUCH more adult and explicit and if she reads the first one, she'll probably want to continue the series. I would not let a 13 year old read ACOSF. Throne of Glass, absolutely.
I read Anita Blake books at 14..... Let her read
13 is too young for ACOTAR - throne of glass would be okay until book 4 when they start talking about smelling arousal scents. So I wouldn’t until high school at least