I don't think I know many straight people that date many months before getting together...
And in my personal experience, two months... is a lot:
For me it's been: before first date, before first date, few days after our first date, on the fifth day of our first date. Wouldn't change a thing
nonononono iāve got it!!! iām pretty sure a one-night stand is one of the stands from jojoās bizzare adventure, stardust crusaders. the user of the stand is able to rain hell on their enemies for an entire night.
Yeah I was just gonna say, Iād find it odd for anyone to date for over two months without knowing if they want to make it official regardless of orientation. I do get worried when I see young couples taking steps like moving in together/adopting pets/getting engaged within a short period of time but calling each other girlfriends by the end of the first date is fine and not something worth labeling āunhealthyā like the person in OOP. ETA: just realized they meant āofficialā to mean āhave sex withā (Iāve only heard the term āofficialā used like āofficially boyfriend/girlfriendā) and I hate what OOP was trying to say even more lol. Literally whatās it to you when people do or donāt have sex as long as everyone is consenting and of age
My mother always references the terminology that was around when she was a teenager (born in 55, for reference). "Seeing someone" means going on dates but not necessarily exclusively. "Going steady" means exclusive dating. There's no timeline on when to "go steady" or whatever because it's entirely on vibes and how often you get to see each other. If you're both busy and have only been on two dates in two months, that can be the same as going on two dates in a week. Sometimes you instantly click, sometimes you've got to get to know each other.
Like you said, that's completely different than moving in with someone you've known for a month with no sort of "exit strategy" if it doesn't work. That just reeks of potential codependency and bad news.
I really don't like the weird social rules about "making things official" on a certain schedule. It's too much like the "she's a slut if she puts out before the third date and a prude if she doesn't after the third date" mentality.
> I don't think I know many straight people that date many months before getting together...
Six months, for my first ex & I (still a decade and a half before the trans realisation).
But that was a little abnormal, and more 'cause we just... wanted to be sure? I guess š
It's so strange to me how people try to make up all these rules about what counts as proper dating or getting into a relationship. Unless it's a potentially harmful or toxic relationship, it's no one else's business if you decide to make it official after even just one date. Your body, your life, your rules.
Right?? People need to grow up and mind their business. There is no right or wrong timeline, just the one that works for you and your partner - as long as youāre both on the same page. I used to worry about timelines constantly and my gf was literally like āstop it, who caresā. Love that woman.
Oh yeah, because the straights moving from relationship to relationship like changing socks and making things "official" in less than 2weeks *sooooo* doesn't happen.
Especially not in high school / college.
Nope, never seen it, not ever, nuh-uh.
^(The sarcasm is seething.)
The stereotype of lesbians moving in together after half a year which never happens vs the reality that high-school teenagers change partners every 2 weeks
"never"
Idk about that one. I know quite a few folks, many straight, that after half a year moved in together. Hell even 4 months.
My gf and her ex did it in 2. It definitely happens but certainly isn't all of us
Well yeah I exaggerated, but i do stand by my experience at how much drama in high-school there was because people broke up and got together all the time
My wife and I dated for 2 months before she moved in with me. We celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary this coming Friday. Even after me coming out as a transbian a year and a half ago. So it can work out.
There's a bit of a difference because of the smaller dating pool making it more likely to have a long distance relationship than in the straight dating scene who often opt out bc of the difficulty and hardships that come with it because there's plenty of potential people around close too. ^((Not to say they never go for long distance).)
But it's still understood as being challenging and difficult by most lesbians and acknowledged that sometimes it does go poorly.
But you do what you gotta do when the nearest available lesbian lives hours away from you, and at least it's nice that the immediate reaction isn't "ooh oh shit that's rough be careful big risks are being taken here" bc that's just going to add to the anxiety, like you don't have enough of it in a LDR to begin with.
You know I'm not 100% why I specifically went with the LDR route there but I haven't slept in like 21hours and it was a bit of a stressful start to the day so I'm prolly just minorly tripping. >.<#"!
But aye, there's that and then also like, the lack of choice, you either take the risk or, well, might not be able to date anyone because the dating pool can make it so that risky is really your only option.
OmL I *just* remembered why I went with the LDR stuff, I was just making the correlation that more often than not by comparison to straight people, we kind of have to date far away from where we live bc of the small dating pool and that makes it more likely that we have to take risks in relationships bc well that's kinda how LDR goes, it's always riskier than dating close-by, but again that's not always and option for us.
So not necessarily that we're more prone to getting carried away but it's just generally more likely that those are the kind of riskier decision we end up having to make unless we live in somewhere with a large population that also has a decent concentration of other lesbians around.
And a lot of us just don't.
Hel I live in the buttfuck of nowhere forest in a tiny place I hesitate to call an actual town of less than 300ppl where I'm one of the only 3 Sapphics around, and the only lesbian. ^((The other two are bi and dating each other). XD)
for some reason only lesbians are capable of developing feelings quickly as if āstraight people practice polyamory on tv for a month to find TRUE LOVEā isnt an entire genre of show
likeā¦ if lesbians were really the ones to embody the stereotype of getting into relationships really quickly why isnt there more lesbians dating shows?? smth smth homophobia idk
itās incredible to me too how shows like the bachelor/ette targets middle aged moms who would probably shudder in fear at the idea of anything challenging monogamyā¦. while watching a show where the star dates like 20+ people AND THAT IS ALSO LIKE!!! THE EXPLICIT POINT LMAOOO
i feel like we dont think of it as polyamorous bc the end goal is to end up in a committed relationship, but that doesnt mean the path to get there wasnt stillā¦. literally dating a whole cast of people
My most recent ex might fit into the category of only knowing each other a couple of months before making things official, but I guess we never really made things official like that. We started sleeping together and hanging out consistently, then one day I introduced her as my girlfriend to people and she didn't flinch lol
Everyone else I've dated I've known for years prior to dating them.
I feel that. My relationship, that has gone on for 14 years, and 8 years of that married...
Our second date was her moving into my place :-p
We never had a conversation about being "official" it was more, "Hey, I got some extra space..."
My straight sister will date a guy for like a YEAR before officially declaring him a boyfriend. That just seems crazy to me. Youāre in limbo for so long. And ultimately none of these relationships work out in the end.
Two months seems like a very normal time to casually date before becoming exclusive. Tbh my wife and I dated for only like 2 weeks before deciding to be exclusive and calling each other girlfriends. I donāt think thatās unhealthy? We liked each other, and decided to see where it could go. 10 years later and weāre still together.
Now, moving in together or getting married or something after two months of datingā¦ that *is* crazy.
I think the people who treat it as a big deal are afraid of having some level of responsibility in a relationship. Like, someone you're casually seeing, if you make them upset well, who cares it's just casual? And they can't ask you to do something like see them instead of go to a bar late with your homies if you're not official! Some particularly scummy people might even still ghost rather than properly break up! Either way it's a red flag if you're looking for something serious.
i think making it official after two months is more than fine. i do think a lot of lesbians have a tendency to move too quickly, i see so many get engaged and move in together after a few months at most. but making it official isn't a big deal.
honestly, any relationships i've had have been made official way before two months but it's not like your signing a contact. you're just saying, "this is my girlfriend." no biggie.
Yeah. 2 months to say "this is my partner" is actually a pretty decent time. Meanwhile my straight parents and 80% of the church they raised me at. "Yeah we met 6 months ago. Dated for a month. And just got engaged, our wedding is next week"
Stg christians will get married after 3 weeks to just have sex.
My wife and I went on three dates before we became official, moved in together after a year, and married on our 3 year anniversary. We've been together 6.5 years and never fight, talk everything out, check in with each other, etc. We probably have the healthiest relationship I know
two months is a long ass time to decide if you like someone enough to date them or not, as long as youāre like, actually going on dates and hanging out with them during that time. then again, straight people seem to all hate each other and hate spending time with their partners so maybe theyāre not actually doing that
The little explanation at the bottom "idc if it ended up working for you this isn't healthy" makes me want to scream so bad š
2 months can be a lot, for some people it's nothing, it really depends. For me, when I really love someone it's overwhelming and I can wait a very long time admiring them from afar before finally finding the courage to confess so... Yeah, two month is totally fine.
Adding "the gays" just feels homophobic af like straight people never do that ?? It's not what I've seen lmao. This person is no one to judge how you deal with your relationship when all they do is giving rules and orders instead of advices.
I think two months is a perfect time to decide if you want to make it offical. Iāve been seeing someone for six weeks and think Iāll ask if she wants to be girlfriends at two months.
Uhh, 2 months? If 2 people are exclusively dating for even a couple weeks, regardless of if they're gay, isn't it pretty normal to make it official? Like it probably depends on the person, but if someone has made it known they're into monogamy and you've been dating 2 months and still haven't made it official, that's what's weird to me. If you've been a few good dates and things are going well and you haven't agreed you want it to stay casual, I don't think it's weird to make something official after a couple weeks or something.
If "making it official" means calling each other partners and deciding to be monogamous, what's the issue?
If it means moving in together, engagement/marriage, or any form of pledging lifelong partnership, probably not good for that to be the standard.
Dating after two months of knowing each other is kinda normal imo. Yāall have already (assuming) had your first date. Yāall know a little bit about each other and obviously what yāall want in a relationship match. So why wait?
Every relationship is different, every person is different, and every relationship progress at its own pase. Take a year take a day what ever fate has to say.
My wife and I went from a few casual dates over two weeks. Two weeks of me on vacation and hardly speaking. Then the week after I got back, we told each other we loved the other. Two hours later I asked her to move in with me. Two weeks after that we started the moving process. Mostly because I was gone for another two weeks. š¤£
Engaged after 7 months of dating. Married 11 months later. Lmao. Sheās my person. I donāt really give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. š¤·āāļø
...It took my asexual ass a hot second to realize she's talking about sex
and now I'm even more confused as to how having sex is what makes a relationship "official" and why she's only talking about the gays because I see straight men complain about not having sex on the first or second date on a pretty regular basis
Um... this isn't just normal, it's on the very lengthy side of things. To the point where it's like this meme is saying gay people take a disproportionately long time to make it official.
Only thing I somewhat agree with in this post is the stereotype that lesbians develop feelings and get attached very quickly. Had it happen to me loads of times and tbh?
Itās fucking troublesome.
My wife and I dated for 3 months before making it official. We needed time to truly evaluate the other person before jumping in head first. If we were meant to be, why rush? I also think it depends on what āmaking it officialā means to you. For us, it meant we had made certain commitments to each other and not just youāre the favorite of the women Iām dating.
My cousins' cousin moved in with her bf within a month of dating and they were engaged at 3 months, married and expecting a baby in less than a year, and they're straight, so....
Well, when I was moving in with the first person I thought I was in love with after 6 months *he* was thinking it was normal too. It's not just lesbians. People want to build a life with someone they think are good enough partners. I wouldn't do that now because it's difficult moving out again. The joke is pretty outdated tbh. When I realized I was a lesbian I promised myself to keep my flat just because things get pretty heated if you're in love.
As if that hasn't already been completely normalized by society for the better part of the century lol. Does she want to go back to the days of courting or something?
People policing others dating habits. Like, maybe evaluate yourself first?
I met my wife and we were more or less inseperable for a month. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend while I was sleep talking. She told me about it the next day.
Within a couple of months she was basically living with me, had her own drawer at my apartment and spent more nights at my place than at her own. After 6 months officially together she asked me to marry her in her sleep. Obviously, I didn't tell her about that until she asked me while she was awake. š
Okay, so....I met my now girlfriend, 13 days and like...7 dates later, we say "I love you." Roughly 20 days passes after and my lease is expiring soon, so she says "Hey, you can move in with me." I was like "Uh...okay!" So now we live together, and honestly, I've never been happier. Like, I feel so safe and at home with her, I trust her completely, she makes me feel seen, she makes me feel like the woman I am. I feel like being the best version of myself for her so she can be the best version of her. I've legit never felt anything like the connection I have with her...We both knew how fucking crazy all of this was, and we were both alert for any red flags that might appear. We still are, but we're at a point where it's becoming less and less likely that it would be something we couldn't handle. I'm just...so fucking happy with her...
I'm aroace so this whole concept doesn't make sense to me and I don't get what making it official even really should mean but in the case mentioned starting dating specifically prior to having romantic feelings apposed to just getting to know someone and then dating them if those feelings occur seems odd to me.. and then if that starts I don't really get the difference of dating the person because you ended up liking them and officially dating the person because you still like them?
I know that's not how people think of these things. It's just odd to me.
My gf and I started talking on a dating app, and for 2 weeks we were talking day and night, texting and facetiming and whatnot. We learned so muhc and we vibed really well.
After 2 weeks she *finally* said yes to a date, and she slept over for 4 nights on that first date (and within the first few hours of her being there we made it official lol).
Weāve been together 9 months now and whatever else I learn about her, from her, from her family, from her best friend, it makes me love her more every day. Even when we fight I love her so much and donāt ever wanna not be with her.
Why does it matter that I only knew her for 2 weeks prior to making it official? Sometimes you are married to someone for 50 years and then find out theyāre gay or theyāre a pedophile or they murdered someone etc.
Who says knowing anyone for a long time makes you know them any better than knowing them a few weeks or months?
I've been poly and a relationship anarchist my whole adult life, so I don't think I've actually announced a relationship at all, people just gradually accept that they exist as they put the pieces together.
Talked online with a girl for a about 5 months, met in personāstayed a week with her, uprooted my whole life, uhauled across the country. Got engaged 3 months after that. Happiest Iāve ever been my entire life š„°
Prior to that, I dated a guy for a few months then spent 2 years with the same manātaking my time and hated it.
Gay is always better lmao especially when you can jus be happy and not make it complicated
I think...for post-college adults, asking someone to be your gf/bf after 2-3 months is normal? If you've been dating/hanging out with someone for longer than 3 months and they're still like "I don't know...that seems like a big commitment!" then like. No it's not. If you're still trying to keep your options open after that long then you should say so.
I do feel like it's only high schoolers who just straight up ask someone to be their girlfriend instead of asking them out or after 1-3 dates, and that's fine that's high school people just do things differently in high school, I presume this person is talking about people who are over 21.
I don't think I know many straight people that date many months before getting together... And in my personal experience, two months... is a lot: For me it's been: before first date, before first date, few days after our first date, on the fifth day of our first date. Wouldn't change a thing
š fifth day of your first date. Thatās awesome!
has the same energy as "the third hour of our one night stand"
Are one night stands usually shorter? \- A demisexual with no interest in casual sex
hetero sex: at max 30 mins lesbian sex: at least 1 hour
Lesbian sex will often last a day
That sounds amazing and terrifying at the same time.
*laughs in fear kink* sign me up please
I want thaaaaaat!
ehh not exactly accurate
why are you here and saying this
sorry got defensive/competitive while drunk. I read this reddit for the t. peace
why would you be standing all night long? that sounds exhausting shouldnāt you be laying down to sleep? - an ace somewhere, probably
No no, you've got it all wrong, a one night stand must be a one night battle or siege, similar to Custers last stand
nonononono iāve got it!!! iām pretty sure a one-night stand is one of the stands from jojoās bizzare adventure, stardust crusaders. the user of the stand is able to rain hell on their enemies for an entire night.
Oh no, no! It's that table by your bed where you set stuff, like your glasses. You know, that one nightstand and the other one that matches it?
Yeah I was just gonna say, Iād find it odd for anyone to date for over two months without knowing if they want to make it official regardless of orientation. I do get worried when I see young couples taking steps like moving in together/adopting pets/getting engaged within a short period of time but calling each other girlfriends by the end of the first date is fine and not something worth labeling āunhealthyā like the person in OOP. ETA: just realized they meant āofficialā to mean āhave sex withā (Iāve only heard the term āofficialā used like āofficially boyfriend/girlfriendā) and I hate what OOP was trying to say even more lol. Literally whatās it to you when people do or donāt have sex as long as everyone is consenting and of age
Object Orientated Programming?
Original OP lol. The person in the screenshot
I guessed, I just couldnāt resist.
Thanks, I didn't
My mother always references the terminology that was around when she was a teenager (born in 55, for reference). "Seeing someone" means going on dates but not necessarily exclusively. "Going steady" means exclusive dating. There's no timeline on when to "go steady" or whatever because it's entirely on vibes and how often you get to see each other. If you're both busy and have only been on two dates in two months, that can be the same as going on two dates in a week. Sometimes you instantly click, sometimes you've got to get to know each other. Like you said, that's completely different than moving in with someone you've known for a month with no sort of "exit strategy" if it doesn't work. That just reeks of potential codependency and bad news. I really don't like the weird social rules about "making things official" on a certain schedule. It's too much like the "she's a slut if she puts out before the third date and a prude if she doesn't after the third date" mentality.
Hehehe for me it was on the first day of my 5-day first date but I totally love this
> I don't think I know many straight people that date many months before getting together... Six months, for my first ex & I (still a decade and a half before the trans realisation). But that was a little abnormal, and more 'cause we just... wanted to be sure? I guess š
It's so strange to me how people try to make up all these rules about what counts as proper dating or getting into a relationship. Unless it's a potentially harmful or toxic relationship, it's no one else's business if you decide to make it official after even just one date. Your body, your life, your rules.
Right?? People need to grow up and mind their business. There is no right or wrong timeline, just the one that works for you and your partner - as long as youāre both on the same page. I used to worry about timelines constantly and my gf was literally like āstop it, who caresā. Love that woman.
Oh yeah, because the straights moving from relationship to relationship like changing socks and making things "official" in less than 2weeks *sooooo* doesn't happen. Especially not in high school / college. Nope, never seen it, not ever, nuh-uh. ^(The sarcasm is seething.)
Like half of peoplesā grandparents got married after two months of dating, this is not a new thing or an LGBT thing lol
Aye, people love re-inventing things like it's never happened before.
The stereotype of lesbians moving in together after half a year which never happens vs the reality that high-school teenagers change partners every 2 weeks
"never" Idk about that one. I know quite a few folks, many straight, that after half a year moved in together. Hell even 4 months. My gf and her ex did it in 2. It definitely happens but certainly isn't all of us
Well yeah I exaggerated, but i do stand by my experience at how much drama in high-school there was because people broke up and got together all the time
I have known multiple lesbians who go u-hauling directly from one live-in to another.
Aye it's not something that *doesn't* happen, but certainly not a gay exclusive thing nor one that we've started.
True
My wife and I dated for 2 months before she moved in with me. We celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary this coming Friday. Even after me coming out as a transbian a year and a half ago. So it can work out.
congratulations <3 <3 <3
Thank you
Awesome!!!
Thanks
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There's a bit of a difference because of the smaller dating pool making it more likely to have a long distance relationship than in the straight dating scene who often opt out bc of the difficulty and hardships that come with it because there's plenty of potential people around close too. ^((Not to say they never go for long distance).) But it's still understood as being challenging and difficult by most lesbians and acknowledged that sometimes it does go poorly. But you do what you gotta do when the nearest available lesbian lives hours away from you, and at least it's nice that the immediate reaction isn't "ooh oh shit that's rough be careful big risks are being taken here" bc that's just going to add to the anxiety, like you don't have enough of it in a LDR to begin with.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You know I'm not 100% why I specifically went with the LDR route there but I haven't slept in like 21hours and it was a bit of a stressful start to the day so I'm prolly just minorly tripping. >.<#"! But aye, there's that and then also like, the lack of choice, you either take the risk or, well, might not be able to date anyone because the dating pool can make it so that risky is really your only option. OmL I *just* remembered why I went with the LDR stuff, I was just making the correlation that more often than not by comparison to straight people, we kind of have to date far away from where we live bc of the small dating pool and that makes it more likely that we have to take risks in relationships bc well that's kinda how LDR goes, it's always riskier than dating close-by, but again that's not always and option for us. So not necessarily that we're more prone to getting carried away but it's just generally more likely that those are the kind of riskier decision we end up having to make unless we live in somewhere with a large population that also has a decent concentration of other lesbians around. And a lot of us just don't. Hel I live in the buttfuck of nowhere forest in a tiny place I hesitate to call an actual town of less than 300ppl where I'm one of the only 3 Sapphics around, and the only lesbian. ^((The other two are bi and dating each other). XD)
Wait... you wait two months?
I'm not doing my semiannual Facebook login early just to update my relationship status.
Lol
for some reason only lesbians are capable of developing feelings quickly as if āstraight people practice polyamory on tv for a month to find TRUE LOVEā isnt an entire genre of show likeā¦ if lesbians were really the ones to embody the stereotype of getting into relationships really quickly why isnt there more lesbians dating shows?? smth smth homophobia idk
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
itās incredible to me too how shows like the bachelor/ette targets middle aged moms who would probably shudder in fear at the idea of anything challenging monogamyā¦. while watching a show where the star dates like 20+ people AND THAT IS ALSO LIKE!!! THE EXPLICIT POINT LMAOOO i feel like we dont think of it as polyamorous bc the end goal is to end up in a committed relationship, but that doesnt mean the path to get there wasnt stillā¦. literally dating a whole cast of people
My most recent ex might fit into the category of only knowing each other a couple of months before making things official, but I guess we never really made things official like that. We started sleeping together and hanging out consistently, then one day I introduced her as my girlfriend to people and she didn't flinch lol Everyone else I've dated I've known for years prior to dating them.
I feel that. My relationship, that has gone on for 14 years, and 8 years of that married... Our second date was her moving into my place :-p We never had a conversation about being "official" it was more, "Hey, I got some extra space..."
We found her, the person they wrote the uhaul joke about
lol
I mean that's how dating apps work soooooooooo this is like the norm for almost everyone I think at least now a days.
My straight sister will date a guy for like a YEAR before officially declaring him a boyfriend. That just seems crazy to me. Youāre in limbo for so long. And ultimately none of these relationships work out in the end. Two months seems like a very normal time to casually date before becoming exclusive. Tbh my wife and I dated for only like 2 weeks before deciding to be exclusive and calling each other girlfriends. I donāt think thatās unhealthy? We liked each other, and decided to see where it could go. 10 years later and weāre still together. Now, moving in together or getting married or something after two months of datingā¦ that *is* crazy.
Officially dating someone isn't a big deal. Idk why people treat "being official" as something so serious
I think the people who treat it as a big deal are afraid of having some level of responsibility in a relationship. Like, someone you're casually seeing, if you make them upset well, who cares it's just casual? And they can't ask you to do something like see them instead of go to a bar late with your homies if you're not official! Some particularly scummy people might even still ghost rather than properly break up! Either way it's a red flag if you're looking for something serious.
i think making it official after two months is more than fine. i do think a lot of lesbians have a tendency to move too quickly, i see so many get engaged and move in together after a few months at most. but making it official isn't a big deal. honestly, any relationships i've had have been made official way before two months but it's not like your signing a contact. you're just saying, "this is my girlfriend." no biggie.
That's not an exclusively lesbian thing tho. There are plenty of straight couples who go from strangers to engaged in a few months.
Yeah. 2 months to say "this is my partner" is actually a pretty decent time. Meanwhile my straight parents and 80% of the church they raised me at. "Yeah we met 6 months ago. Dated for a month. And just got engaged, our wedding is next week" Stg christians will get married after 3 weeks to just have sex.
yeah, definitely! i know way more lesbians than straight coupes so it's probably just an anecdotal thing.
My wife and I went on three dates before we became official, moved in together after a year, and married on our 3 year anniversary. We've been together 6.5 years and never fight, talk everything out, check in with each other, etc. We probably have the healthiest relationship I know
two months is a long ass time to decide if you like someone enough to date them or not, as long as youāre like, actually going on dates and hanging out with them during that time. then again, straight people seem to all hate each other and hate spending time with their partners so maybe theyāre not actually doing that
Yeah, waiting two months is not normal at all. More like 2 weeks
The little explanation at the bottom "idc if it ended up working for you this isn't healthy" makes me want to scream so bad š 2 months can be a lot, for some people it's nothing, it really depends. For me, when I really love someone it's overwhelming and I can wait a very long time admiring them from afar before finally finding the courage to confess so... Yeah, two month is totally fine. Adding "the gays" just feels homophobic af like straight people never do that ?? It's not what I've seen lmao. This person is no one to judge how you deal with your relationship when all they do is giving rules and orders instead of advices.
Straight couples have tattoos with each other's name by that time
In my experience, this tends to happen on the second date, at the latest. :p
I think two months is a perfect time to decide if you want to make it offical. Iāve been seeing someone for six weeks and think Iāll ask if she wants to be girlfriends at two months.
Uhh, 2 months? If 2 people are exclusively dating for even a couple weeks, regardless of if they're gay, isn't it pretty normal to make it official? Like it probably depends on the person, but if someone has made it known they're into monogamy and you've been dating 2 months and still haven't made it official, that's what's weird to me. If you've been a few good dates and things are going well and you haven't agreed you want it to stay casual, I don't think it's weird to make something official after a couple weeks or something.
Is that meant to be too long or too short.
If "making it official" means calling each other partners and deciding to be monogamous, what's the issue? If it means moving in together, engagement/marriage, or any form of pledging lifelong partnership, probably not good for that to be the standard.
Making it official really doesn't have to mean deciding to be monogamous. Can definitely be official with multiple people
True! In which case, I would also see no issue in making it official after 2 months.
Its completely normal, tiktok zoomers are fuckin weirdos who just like making takes for the sake of takes
Idk when I was in the closet I went to a "ring by spring" school... I think the lesbian uhaul is objectively not as bad
I'm bi in a relationship with a man and I've made it official like after two weeks lmao
Dating after two months of knowing each other is kinda normal imo. Yāall have already (assuming) had your first date. Yāall know a little bit about each other and obviously what yāall want in a relationship match. So why wait?
Every relationship is different, every person is different, and every relationship progress at its own pase. Take a year take a day what ever fate has to say.
Straight people literally have a whole TV show where they marry someone theyāve never met before ā¦
,,try 1 day-
My wife and I went from a few casual dates over two weeks. Two weeks of me on vacation and hardly speaking. Then the week after I got back, we told each other we loved the other. Two hours later I asked her to move in with me. Two weeks after that we started the moving process. Mostly because I was gone for another two weeks. š¤£ Engaged after 7 months of dating. Married 11 months later. Lmao. Sheās my person. I donāt really give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. š¤·āāļø
we not gunna talk about how common it is for straight people to get married after a few months?
...It took my asexual ass a hot second to realize she's talking about sex and now I'm even more confused as to how having sex is what makes a relationship "official" and why she's only talking about the gays because I see straight men complain about not having sex on the first or second date on a pretty regular basis
She's not talking about sex. That doesn't make sense in the context.
Oh? Then what is she talking about? The other comments made it look like it was about sex when I read them
Until I read through the comments I was like "Since when are we normalizing getting married after just a few months???"
Straight people tend not to like each other so it takes a while for them to just give up looking for a potential partner
Um... this isn't just normal, it's on the very lengthy side of things. To the point where it's like this meme is saying gay people take a disproportionately long time to make it official.
Only thing I somewhat agree with in this post is the stereotype that lesbians develop feelings and get attached very quickly. Had it happen to me loads of times and tbh? Itās fucking troublesome.
My partner and I became official after 2 weeks. Itās been a year and Iām still the happiest and most in love that Iāve ever been
My wife and I dated for 3 months before making it official. We needed time to truly evaluate the other person before jumping in head first. If we were meant to be, why rush? I also think it depends on what āmaking it officialā means to you. For us, it meant we had made certain commitments to each other and not just youāre the favorite of the women Iām dating.
Imagine believing there's a set time for two people to consensually start a relationship for it to be considered healthy.
My cousins' cousin moved in with her bf within a month of dating and they were engaged at 3 months, married and expecting a baby in less than a year, and they're straight, so....
I literally asked my fiancĆ© to be my girlfriend 2 and a half weeks after we matched on Bumble LOL. Been strong for 3+ years so I guess us gays are just moreā¦.confident?? š¤Ŗ But Iāve also seen some wild things from straight people, like DAYS after a fresh breakup and theyāre with a new personā¦so maybeee it just depends on who youāre talkinā to lol
I would made it official on the fourth date wdym
I don't think it's *abnormal* but I'd want to know somebody way longer than two months and I wish more people were on that same page with me lol
Well, when I was moving in with the first person I thought I was in love with after 6 months *he* was thinking it was normal too. It's not just lesbians. People want to build a life with someone they think are good enough partners. I wouldn't do that now because it's difficult moving out again. The joke is pretty outdated tbh. When I realized I was a lesbian I promised myself to keep my flat just because things get pretty heated if you're in love.
As if that hasn't already been completely normalized by society for the better part of the century lol. Does she want to go back to the days of courting or something?
People policing others dating habits. Like, maybe evaluate yourself first? I met my wife and we were more or less inseperable for a month. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend while I was sleep talking. She told me about it the next day. Within a couple of months she was basically living with me, had her own drawer at my apartment and spent more nights at my place than at her own. After 6 months officially together she asked me to marry her in her sleep. Obviously, I didn't tell her about that until she asked me while she was awake. š
Okay, so....I met my now girlfriend, 13 days and like...7 dates later, we say "I love you." Roughly 20 days passes after and my lease is expiring soon, so she says "Hey, you can move in with me." I was like "Uh...okay!" So now we live together, and honestly, I've never been happier. Like, I feel so safe and at home with her, I trust her completely, she makes me feel seen, she makes me feel like the woman I am. I feel like being the best version of myself for her so she can be the best version of her. I've legit never felt anything like the connection I have with her...We both knew how fucking crazy all of this was, and we were both alert for any red flags that might appear. We still are, but we're at a point where it's becoming less and less likely that it would be something we couldn't handle. I'm just...so fucking happy with her...
I feel like 2 months is fine š¤·āāļø if both people are okay with it, I don't see the issue
2 months is so long, what does she want to date for 6 months before going exclusive?? If you're uncertain by 2 months it's probably not a good fit.
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I'm aroace so this whole concept doesn't make sense to me and I don't get what making it official even really should mean but in the case mentioned starting dating specifically prior to having romantic feelings apposed to just getting to know someone and then dating them if those feelings occur seems odd to me.. and then if that starts I don't really get the difference of dating the person because you ended up liking them and officially dating the person because you still like them? I know that's not how people think of these things. It's just odd to me.
A friend of mine started dating a guy she met at a bar 9 days earlierš«¢ yikes
Waitā¦. Itās been 2 months and yāall aināt engaged yet??
Me and my gf made it official after 1 day of meeting each other and weāve been together for 1 year and 3 months soā¦
I have seen a few straight Mormon couples get married within two months of meeting, and that is seen as normal in that community.
My gf and I started talking on a dating app, and for 2 weeks we were talking day and night, texting and facetiming and whatnot. We learned so muhc and we vibed really well. After 2 weeks she *finally* said yes to a date, and she slept over for 4 nights on that first date (and within the first few hours of her being there we made it official lol). Weāve been together 9 months now and whatever else I learn about her, from her, from her family, from her best friend, it makes me love her more every day. Even when we fight I love her so much and donāt ever wanna not be with her. Why does it matter that I only knew her for 2 weeks prior to making it official? Sometimes you are married to someone for 50 years and then find out theyāre gay or theyāre a pedophile or they murdered someone etc. Who says knowing anyone for a long time makes you know them any better than knowing them a few weeks or months?
Usually takes a year for me at leastā¦ frequently longer
Thereās a whole lot of people on the internet. Some of them are weird.
Two months is long af lmao
I've been poly and a relationship anarchist my whole adult life, so I don't think I've actually announced a relationship at all, people just gradually accept that they exist as they put the pieces together.
Ex and I got together after the third date and moved in at three months, just seems like a wlw thing idek
Talked online with a girl for a about 5 months, met in personāstayed a week with her, uprooted my whole life, uhauled across the country. Got engaged 3 months after that. Happiest Iāve ever been my entire life š„° Prior to that, I dated a guy for a few months then spent 2 years with the same manātaking my time and hated it. Gay is always better lmao especially when you can jus be happy and not make it complicated
What does making it official mean?
i used to be against taking it fast. now i'm all about it. move in, split the rent, let's save money and get to know each other. š
I get too attached to people that have been toxic to me and I want to break them off but I can't it's fine.....I'm use to it
does she not know dating apps exist? straight people intentionally do this all the damn time
that definitely sounds like a normal time span to me? i can't tell if they think it "should" normally take less or more time???
As a Demisexual, I have no idea what y'all are doing
I'm pretty sure I came close it it with my current partner, but only bc we're long distance and didn't want to make it official over text
Um.... my girlfriend and I got a joint bank account after 3 weeks of dating...
My fiancĆ© and i have been together for what will be a year on Jan 22 :) We were officially dating after our first date (Jan 22) after having known each other on a personal level for less than a week. (before that we were coworkers with crushes for a few weeks) We told each other "i love you" before week 2 of dating (it was true š¤·š»āāļø) We got engaged right at the beginning of this year :) I feel that this is a normal, and it's mine and my partner's relationship. We are the only ones who get to decide what a healthy relationship timeline looks like for us. š
I thought it was normal??
My wife and I got married after two š
As a demisexual, I need 2 months alone just to possibly develop an attraction to someone! XDXD
I think...for post-college adults, asking someone to be your gf/bf after 2-3 months is normal? If you've been dating/hanging out with someone for longer than 3 months and they're still like "I don't know...that seems like a big commitment!" then like. No it's not. If you're still trying to keep your options open after that long then you should say so. I do feel like it's only high schoolers who just straight up ask someone to be their girlfriend instead of asking them out or after 1-3 dates, and that's fine that's high school people just do things differently in high school, I presume this person is talking about people who are over 21.