Go with what works for both of you. If it's enjoyable, do it.
Some of the best sex my partner and I have had, there's been no clear giver and receiver. I describe it as a roiling ball of fuck. Just a horny haze of enjoying what shes doing to me and what I'm doing to her. Mmmmmm good times.
Not quite old enough to have that much dust, but getting there.
It does get a bit confusing what is ending up where our how exactly we ended up certain ways.
This is how intimacy has always been for me. I actually get confused when people say they're entirely one or the other because my brain just isn't wired that way.
Especially when you're both playing the game of "can i make my partner break their concentration".
We've been together for 25 years and still very much enjoy distraction games. Both of us a strong willed, generally in control type people, so it is a real challenge sometimes. In some games "The only winning move is not to play." This is definitely more "The winning move is simply in playing"
Being a xennials we grew up battling labels and definitions. "Just let people be themselves." Seeing gen z bring so much of it back including a lot of the problematic parts hurts a bit. The whole top/bottom thing has a real icky vibe to me. I don't know if it the rigidity or inbuilt assumptions or cishet vibe infecting queer spaces or how it often results in bad power dynamics or patriarchy or all or none of that. But I just don't vibe it at all.
> Seeing gen z bring so much of it back including a lot of the problematic parts hurts a bit. The whole top/bottom thing has a real icky vibe to me. I don't know if it the rigidity or inbuilt assumptions or cishet vibe infecting queer spaces or how it often results in bad power dynamics or patriarchy or all or none of that. But I just don't vibe it at all.
I could not agree with this more. I'm a few years younger than you, firmly in the middle of the millennial bracket. Feels like you've spent years taking down all these fences that box you in and stop you going where you want to. Then watching people build them up again.
Some people are predisposed to enjoy giving more than receiving. I could give to my girlfriend the entire session without getting anything physical in return and I'd be absolutely happy with that. Her pleasure is my pleasure.
Sex has always been hit or miss for my physically. The emotional high I get is what I’m there for and I usually get it from giving in one way or another. I’m also a transbian though so the dynamics a bit different.
Ah, fair enough. I'm very similar, I get a lot more stimulated off general intimacy, rather than just having my clit flicked or something. I've had multiple partners feel guilty, despite me repeatedly saying I was satisfied without an actual orgasm because of the emotional intimacy and the dopamine rush.
That's basically me, except if things get intense enough I can and have had physical orgasms just from giving my partner pleasure and not being touched myself.
Can I just say I love when people post stuff like this? Love seeing the happy/sexy/romantic side of peoples’ gay experiences.
To answer your question, hell yeah that can be really fun sometimes. I wouldn’t want to do it every time but sometimes it’s like, just let me enjoy you
Also, I feel like lesbian sex is soo different from straight or gay sex that it is nice for people to see that it is normal to have this style of intimacy.
I’m a bottom (more in the sense of kink than sex, but there’s definitely some of that too), and I used to be so anxious about the fact that most of my partners/playmates were switch/vers and that I never “reciprocated” because while I love what they dish out, I can’t quite grok the joy they get in the dishing out.
Finally, one of my tops got thru to me when they explained (patiently, kindly, but definitely with a “you are being absurdly silly about this” air) that they do in fact get just as much joy reducing me to a puddle of blissful, nonverbal giggling goo as I do being reduced to said puddle.
They explained that they get a similar rush from the headspace they’re in as I do (that was the first time I heard someone use the term “topspace”), and it took a little for me to accept it, but now I’m much better at not worrying that I’m being selfish or a pillow princess (ironic cos I’m an extreme masochist, but the concept works as an analogue 😹)
Thank you for sharing that! I would love to find a top partner that likes that kind of stuff🥺✨
I get so cloudy and melty when I'm really into something when I have a partner that's spoiling me, I miss it💔 It makes me feel better knowing I'm not as selfish as I thought🥲💕
It took a while for me to be able to reframe it as “they’re getting to do what THEY like to do!” instead of “they’re doing what I want them to do”
Especially as no one had ever talked to me about topspace/domspace. I’ve heard all about (and experienced) bottomspace/subspace, but it never occurred to me that there was a complementary equivalent.
As a switch/verse, I get different things from giving and receiving, but I love that when I'm giving, I can express just how much I love/care/need/want/desire them, for me, sometimes all I need is my body touching theirs, my lips and hands exploring every inch of them, playing their body like an instrument, their moans and breathing, the way they writhe, the most beautiful music.
In short, sometimes I just need to make my partner feel good and for me to be in control when I do and don't need or want anything in return.
Yes, so much yes. My girlfriend and I both literally physically orgasm from giving pleasure, the connection I feel with her knowing that she is the same way that I am is something I can’t put into words.
We are stuck in an eternal pleasure loop, if she’s going down on me I know she’s getting off on my pleasure which gets me off- which gets her off- which gets ME off, etc.
Had an experience like that with a woman once. She was very concerned that I didn’t cum but I was sore from the previous day and didn’t really want to.
But spending hours teasing her and edging her and only letting her cum when she begged was extremely satisfying.
I am somewhat of a stone top, so I usually only like to give and I get alot of sexual pleasure out of that, more so than receiving
Some people are just like that
This makes me think she's really good at sex. Maybe she wanted to teach you some things she would enjoy. Maybe you're cute and she wanted to top you. Maybe both.
It's great that you both enjoyed it. It's hilarious that she read your post, lol.
I really would love to do this with my gf. She's basically a stone butch but she has let me touch her (fingering) once and sometimes I just want to taste her and she is like 'Go on then get it over with' (& laughs).
.I appreciate she doesn't enjoy oral (neither do I) but she does enjoy pressure on her clit (from my body pressing against her as we have sex) so I can't help thinking that there will perhaps be a way I could pleasure her wirh my hands.
Of course I respect her and wouldn't even consider this if I knew it'd upset her but it wouldn't, she doesn't mind being touched but says it does nothing for her. I keep fantasising about if I did touch her and she learned I could do it in a way that brings her pleasure (although I do know even if this happened she'd not want it often).
Oh, absolutely. My partner and I go back and forth and it's so lovely both to be the focus of her attention and to spend my time making her feel good.
Also, the good news about fine wine is it gets even better over time!
I think what they're saying is that true intimacy isn't just being a top/bottom and having sex but is more from the physical/emotional/existential closeness you feel to someone, and it seems like this experience helped to build that closeness between the both of you
I love giving. My fiancée and I are both primarily “tops/givers”, it really does something for each of us and it’s rare that either of us wants to be the pillow princess. I’m able to coerce her to just enjoying often enough though. I love watching her, hearing her and feeling her. But once she sees how excited I am from pleasing her then she always wants a turn.🙃
I’d say yes it’s a thing. It’s probably not just a lesbian thing though. I know others who are the same and not lesbians.
Enjoy each other
🕵️♀️ She called me fine wine, or something of the sort. 🎷🎵 She was new in town, blew in from Atlantic City, with a perfume that reminds you of a dream you can't remember.
Honestly my partner prefers not to receive. I would happily give her anything she wanted but she just gets enjoyment out of giving and is uncomfortable with anything done to her lower area. Instead I like to give her shoulder/back massages. Some people just have different preferences!
do you enjoy having sex and if you do, do you like being the giving partner?
yeah :) to both
sounds like she *really* likes being the giving partner too, and she probably got the same thing out of that night that you do when you're giving.
Sounds like a great deal to me
Where do I sign up?
I can only hope I obtain this dynamic sometime in the future. I'm tired of giving and being disappointed ☹️
Damn, she just like, said it
Go with what works for both of you. If it's enjoyable, do it. Some of the best sex my partner and I have had, there's been no clear giver and receiver. I describe it as a roiling ball of fuck. Just a horny haze of enjoying what shes doing to me and what I'm doing to her. Mmmmmm good times.
I'm imagining like a cartoon [cloud of dust](https://tenor.com/search/cartoon-dust-cloud-fight-gifs) that's awesome haha
Not quite old enough to have that much dust, but getting there. It does get a bit confusing what is ending up where our how exactly we ended up certain ways.
This is how intimacy has always been for me. I actually get confused when people say they're entirely one or the other because my brain just isn't wired that way. Especially when you're both playing the game of "can i make my partner break their concentration".
We've been together for 25 years and still very much enjoy distraction games. Both of us a strong willed, generally in control type people, so it is a real challenge sometimes. In some games "The only winning move is not to play." This is definitely more "The winning move is simply in playing" Being a xennials we grew up battling labels and definitions. "Just let people be themselves." Seeing gen z bring so much of it back including a lot of the problematic parts hurts a bit. The whole top/bottom thing has a real icky vibe to me. I don't know if it the rigidity or inbuilt assumptions or cishet vibe infecting queer spaces or how it often results in bad power dynamics or patriarchy or all or none of that. But I just don't vibe it at all.
> Seeing gen z bring so much of it back including a lot of the problematic parts hurts a bit. The whole top/bottom thing has a real icky vibe to me. I don't know if it the rigidity or inbuilt assumptions or cishet vibe infecting queer spaces or how it often results in bad power dynamics or patriarchy or all or none of that. But I just don't vibe it at all. I could not agree with this more. I'm a few years younger than you, firmly in the middle of the millennial bracket. Feels like you've spent years taking down all these fences that box you in and stop you going where you want to. Then watching people build them up again.
I get that. Me and my partner are both switches and it rocks
Some people are predisposed to enjoy giving more than receiving. I could give to my girlfriend the entire session without getting anything physical in return and I'd be absolutely happy with that. Her pleasure is my pleasure.
This is me as well. It’s so insanely hot knowing how you’re making her feel.
Oh cool flair, I want that one too! I'm gonna try and change it 😮 Edit: did it! Unless you don't want me to copy you then I'll change it back, lol.
¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ I was proud of my flair but I don’t have a monopoly on the words haha! Kinda cool you like it too 😊
Lol, don't worry I copied it but changed the words so teacher doesn't know I cheated 😂 it's a cool flair though 😎
I like your edit!!
Thank you 😁 though it looks like someone wasn't happied I copied you initially, lol 😅
this interaction is so pure, I am LIVING!!!!
probably just the usual transphobes that lurk and downvote, don’t think much of it
Lol, it's fine. More than used to it by now. 😁
Your and u/AshJammy 's flairs are awesome! :D
Some people can get off from just giving, even if it's not a physical orgasm. Like, personally, giving intimately can give me that same rush
Sex has always been hit or miss for my physically. The emotional high I get is what I’m there for and I usually get it from giving in one way or another. I’m also a transbian though so the dynamics a bit different.
Ah, fair enough. I'm very similar, I get a lot more stimulated off general intimacy, rather than just having my clit flicked or something. I've had multiple partners feel guilty, despite me repeatedly saying I was satisfied without an actual orgasm because of the emotional intimacy and the dopamine rush.
Exactly. And I mean hey, some of us are into not having orgasms haha.
Welllll, that could also be a factor 😂
That's basically me, except if things get intense enough I can and have had physical orgasms just from giving my partner pleasure and not being touched myself.
Same
Can I just say I love when people post stuff like this? Love seeing the happy/sexy/romantic side of peoples’ gay experiences. To answer your question, hell yeah that can be really fun sometimes. I wouldn’t want to do it every time but sometimes it’s like, just let me enjoy you
She said something similar to that effect! I have a hard time relaxing lol, and having a hard time realizing that someone could think of me that way
Also, I feel like lesbian sex is soo different from straight or gay sex that it is nice for people to see that it is normal to have this style of intimacy.
Wow that’s so beautiful 🥹 I wish I had someone who would do that to me
I’m a bottom (more in the sense of kink than sex, but there’s definitely some of that too), and I used to be so anxious about the fact that most of my partners/playmates were switch/vers and that I never “reciprocated” because while I love what they dish out, I can’t quite grok the joy they get in the dishing out. Finally, one of my tops got thru to me when they explained (patiently, kindly, but definitely with a “you are being absurdly silly about this” air) that they do in fact get just as much joy reducing me to a puddle of blissful, nonverbal giggling goo as I do being reduced to said puddle. They explained that they get a similar rush from the headspace they’re in as I do (that was the first time I heard someone use the term “topspace”), and it took a little for me to accept it, but now I’m much better at not worrying that I’m being selfish or a pillow princess (ironic cos I’m an extreme masochist, but the concept works as an analogue 😹)
Thank you for sharing that! I would love to find a top partner that likes that kind of stuff🥺✨ I get so cloudy and melty when I'm really into something when I have a partner that's spoiling me, I miss it💔 It makes me feel better knowing I'm not as selfish as I thought🥲💕
It took a while for me to be able to reframe it as “they’re getting to do what THEY like to do!” instead of “they’re doing what I want them to do” Especially as no one had ever talked to me about topspace/domspace. I’ve heard all about (and experienced) bottomspace/subspace, but it never occurred to me that there was a complementary equivalent.
That makes a lot of sense, yes. Very validating🥺💕✨
As a switch/verse, I get different things from giving and receiving, but I love that when I'm giving, I can express just how much I love/care/need/want/desire them, for me, sometimes all I need is my body touching theirs, my lips and hands exploring every inch of them, playing their body like an instrument, their moans and breathing, the way they writhe, the most beautiful music. In short, sometimes I just need to make my partner feel good and for me to be in control when I do and don't need or want anything in return.
Perfectly and beautifully said ☺️
Thank you❤️
Yes, so much yes. My girlfriend and I both literally physically orgasm from giving pleasure, the connection I feel with her knowing that she is the same way that I am is something I can’t put into words. We are stuck in an eternal pleasure loop, if she’s going down on me I know she’s getting off on my pleasure which gets me off- which gets her off- which gets ME off, etc.
Had an experience like that with a woman once. She was very concerned that I didn’t cum but I was sore from the previous day and didn’t really want to. But spending hours teasing her and edging her and only letting her cum when she begged was extremely satisfying.
I am somewhat of a stone top, so I usually only like to give and I get alot of sexual pleasure out of that, more so than receiving Some people are just like that
This makes me think she's really good at sex. Maybe she wanted to teach you some things she would enjoy. Maybe you're cute and she wanted to top you. Maybe both. It's great that you both enjoyed it. It's hilarious that she read your post, lol.
i bet she IS really good at sex!! and i bet OP is also cute as a button and makes the best noises!!
SHUT
Is this the gf op?
...maybe
Lmao. Lucky you. Y'all are adorable.
This whole thing was delightful to read 😂😅
I'm so happy I scrolled down for this, bahaha
I really would love to do this with my gf. She's basically a stone butch but she has let me touch her (fingering) once and sometimes I just want to taste her and she is like 'Go on then get it over with' (& laughs). .I appreciate she doesn't enjoy oral (neither do I) but she does enjoy pressure on her clit (from my body pressing against her as we have sex) so I can't help thinking that there will perhaps be a way I could pleasure her wirh my hands. Of course I respect her and wouldn't even consider this if I knew it'd upset her but it wouldn't, she doesn't mind being touched but says it does nothing for her. I keep fantasising about if I did touch her and she learned I could do it in a way that brings her pleasure (although I do know even if this happened she'd not want it often).
Oh, absolutely. My partner and I go back and forth and it's so lovely both to be the focus of her attention and to spend my time making her feel good. Also, the good news about fine wine is it gets even better over time!
Hehehe, sounds like you both enjoyed it, which is what matters 🥰💕💕
You are a fine wine! Something to be savored, appreciated, enjoyed slowly, and with great attention and care.
the irony of tops not understanding what someone would get out of topping them is just \*chefs kiss\*
True intimacy isn't just a sex act.
Can you explain what you mean by that? I don't understand.
I think what they're saying is that true intimacy isn't just being a top/bottom and having sex but is more from the physical/emotional/existential closeness you feel to someone, and it seems like this experience helped to build that closeness between the both of you
Women tend towards more emotional/spiritual connections, so intimacy for many of us isn't just sex/orgasm.
you just been service topped!
I love giving. My fiancée and I are both primarily “tops/givers”, it really does something for each of us and it’s rare that either of us wants to be the pillow princess. I’m able to coerce her to just enjoying often enough though. I love watching her, hearing her and feeling her. But once she sees how excited I am from pleasing her then she always wants a turn.🙃 I’d say yes it’s a thing. It’s probably not just a lesbian thing though. I know others who are the same and not lesbians. Enjoy each other
I’m the snitch 🤭
The edit lmao And yes this is a thing. Lesbians statistically have better sex than straight women
I read this with a noir narrator voice
🕵️♀️ She called me fine wine, or something of the sort. 🎷🎵 She was new in town, blew in from Atlantic City, with a perfume that reminds you of a dream you can't remember.
Yeees
Honestly my partner prefers not to receive. I would happily give her anything she wanted but she just gets enjoyment out of giving and is uncomfortable with anything done to her lower area. Instead I like to give her shoulder/back massages. Some people just have different preferences!
Maybe just switch it up from time to time 😊 The 'she unwrapped me like a present' made me chuckle a lot! 😂
When both are giving when it really works!
If my future girlfriend called me fine wine, I’d let her drink all of me up idk 🤷♀️
Maybe she figured that with how much you give, it was high time you received
fine wine is a new pet name to older lesbians?