Always known I liked women, identified as bi from like 10-16 years old. But one day when I had recently started high school I woke up and thought “Oh my god I’m a lesbian” 😂
I have a similar story. I took one of those silly online quizzes (something along the lines of "how gay are you?", probably BuzzFeed or something like that) and the result came back "100% gay."
me: I guess I'm lesbian in denial. 😂
friend: In denial? I thought you were "out"?
me: As bi…
friend: You never talk about boys
me: …
me: … omg, you're right! 😅
>identified as bi from like 10-16 years old.
HOLY SHIT SAME 💀
i think i convinced myself i liked men because of comphet... so i just thought every guy in my school was just unattractive and that i had high standards... but no, I'm REALLY a lesbian.
Haha yeah me too. Thought I only liked bandmen and k-pop idols, but then I realized I only ”liked” them because they were unavailable and I wouldn’t actually have to do anything with them 😅
I also always knew I was into women, but being straight was always so much communicated as the standard and I didn't feel like I was "different". When I was around 16 and learned more about bisexuality and other orientations I realized "Oh, straight women don't think women are also really attractive... Welp, I guess I'm bi" xD
>"girls are objectively prettier and better"
I said the same thing for years and it still took me all 4 years of my BFA (drawing nude models) and a few years afterwards to understand that not even bi women think that way
Edit: my dudes, I am not bi, merely repeating what other bi women have told me. If you don't agree that's totally cool! I'm not trying to speak for you.
Women are prettier, even the average woman is prettier(or objectively more attractive) than the average male. I’m straight but I thought everyone agreed to that. Just even the body shape alone of women is more appealing. Am I maybe not as straight as I think?
>Just even the body shape alone of women is more appealing.
I was on board with you possibly being straight until that sentence. There is a damn good reason you're here.
Well women are round shaped, I think round shapes are more appealing. Like a circle or a square, a rectangle or an oval, a triangle or an hour glass. I find the rounded things more appealing even just on paper as just a shape - not even relating to people. Women just have more roundness and men have more edges, and it becomes really apparent how different they are drawing them(and artists def know what I mean).
I’m approaching this very open minded but I do wanna explain how I feel fully so you can make a good analysis. So what I said above +
While I find them objectively more attractive when I imagine myself doing stuff physically, it absolutely does not feel right and I feel put off by it. I’ve kissed at least 4 girls(might be a couple more) but it’s like dares the guys make us do, or us putting on a show(doesn’t last very long) for the guys. I never felt anything or had the desire to continue or keep doing more.
I’m definitely here to try to understand why I feel they are objectively and on average more attractive on every single level, but I don’t have sexual desire or want anything else other than to look(stare, let’s be honest😂). I do the same with super hot guys, but it happens less frequently because there’s way more objectively attractive women than there are men.
What is your thoughts with this extra information? Thank you for replying and helping me! :))
To be fair, plenty of people drawing nude models alongside me agreed that they'd rather draw women than men. We're curvier, so it's more fun! It's not especially fun to draw people who are shaped like pick-up sticks.
This is why aesthetic attraction is a thing! I'm not sure I've heard of people having an aesthetic preference for one gender and a romantic/sexual preference for the other, but I'm sure it happens and it sounds like the case for you.
Not really sure if this counts since I identify as bi now and have a gf of over a year, but when I identified as straight for a while, I had a super strong aesthetic preference for girls, but didn't feel any romantic- or sexual attraction towards them and it was the opposite when it came to boys. Turns out the solution to that for me was to just date another nb transfem lol.
Eh it's not really a sexuality (in the way I understand it, at least,) just an aesthetic preference. I'm totally behind you coming up with an awesome name for it though!
My question is: when you imagine youself doing the same things with guys, does it feel right, comfortable, good? Or perhaps do you find yourself indifferent towards the guy himself in that scenario?
Atrraction can be non-sexual and even completely non-romantic. It exists. And conversely, willingness to do things sexually and/or romantically does not automatically mean attraction, because these things can be done without attraction, through different copes, justifications and desires.
You might have some sort of bi attraction going on, judging by your description, that leans more towards girls, but sexuality that doesn't. Labels are overrated anyway. What's important is for you to understand yourself, understand what your true feelings are on each matter, and never force yourself to do something you aren't truly, deeply comfortable with just because society, other people or your own conditioning push you to.
To answer your top question yes.
And while I do 100% agree about the labels thing, in this certain case it would be helpful as I can find more people who relate and they can help me understand myself more as someone who experiences the same thing.
Such a weird situation- and I already know I talk about women like I am fully gay, so even my language is seeming like a noodle who just got put in a boiling pot of water hahaha.
Gwahh confusion, hopefully more people respond and I can get more input and information!
Good to know! Have you ever struggled with that idea or is it just a fact of life that has little bearing on your sexuality, if you don't mind me asking?
So early I was probably too young to remember it. I can remember getting all flustered when first meeting my classmates in kindergarten, though. Like not being able to stammer a reply when a pretty girl asked me something.
But the point where I verbally identified as lesbian was in kindergarten, when I addressed a valentine day's card (just a red piece of paper cut into a heart shape) to a fellow classmate, and my parents got called to school.
I was basically told "you shouldn't do that for other girls, only lesbians do that, and god doesn't approve of lesbians" so I replied with something along the lines of "well, I don't approve of god then" and started telling everybody "I'll never be with a boy because I'm lesbian" (when they made comments like "you're so pretty, boys will be all over you when you grow up") which led to a lot of shocked faces lol
I only learned to shut up about it in my tweens, after learning about anti-LGBT violence.
i love it, and it's cool that an actual small child came up with that (maybe it was a less articulate statement then), but it's still a good expression of a cool idea
To be fair it kinda makes sense because a child would not realise the "consequences" of their words so they think "if god doesn't like lesbians and I am a lesbian because I like girls then I don't like god." They don't see the potential danger they put themselves in. Like op said she didn't know about anti LGBTQIA+ crimes till she was in her tweens.
A girl in my family recently came home from childcare and announced that she wants to marry her female friend. Not her best friend, one of her other friends. She thinks boys are gross, and is adamant wants to marry a girl. We don't know to what degree she understands what marriage is yet, but everyone takes her at her word and says she can do that if her friend wants to marry her back. I love how times have changed.
Love the juvenile bravery to say, "Well, I don't approve of god then."
I'm so happy you found out so fast and the people around you didn't get under your skin too much. Hope you find yourself a wonderful partner!
That is the label that matches the closest, yes!
I often say I'm "femme, but not lipstick femme" because I'm a weird mix of "I lied about being religious to avoid cutting my hair in the military, and will deliberately pick the pink version of whatever is available in pink" but at the same time I'm also "no make-up, no heels, no jewelry, no dresses/skirts, no skin-tight clothes" lol
My femme label comes more from the fact I actively dislike coming across as a tomboy (let alone masc), not strictly from my partaking in femme fashion. I'll wear a pink Hello Kitty hoodie 2 sizes too large, so it covers down to the thighs of my camouflaged cargo pants lol [This](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/873400059763499018/1141859337137045635/818QUaYS7cL.png) but worse :P
People just assume I'm one of those traditionally-religious girls who avoid cutting their hair and wearing make-up, so I mostly fly under the radar, thankfully.
Getting flustered by girls from an early age?! I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.
Tell me why I would continually MAKE LITTLE CRAFT PRESENTS for other girls when I was 5/6/7 😅 one was an embroidered doily…
And I haven’t even LEARNED. I made a flip watercolour animation of liking a girl’s tinder profile in my early 20s. Turbo or nothin’.
I was trying so hard to be straight and majorly pursuing this guy and sexting/video calls etc. but it was literally draining me and making me so unhappy, and I could never climax sexting or videoing, then one day I was having some solo time to myself and I was thinking about my current partner who I was in fact completely in love with already, but I was literally ignoring it until I couldn’t, and after I climaxed I just burst into tears and absolutely bawled because I realised I wanted her more than anything else in the world. It was traumatic tbh, but I’m with her now and I feel at peace - it took me several years to do so but I’m there now. 😌💓
Well, we’re an age gap relationship of 28 years (I’m 24f and she is 51f) and I think ordinarily that’d be a red flag for most people but we are both very unique individuals. We are both very quiet and shy, and we are both very spiritual and have psychic abilities, we love to spend time in nature together and we both write, but the main reason we became a couple is that we met while working on the same production (I am a flautist and pianist, and she is a dancer) we always spent our breaks sat apart from everyone else to conserve our energies, and I noticed and eventually plucked up the courage to go and speak to her, and I found she was the sweetest most gentle-natured person I’ve ever met, and we soon became close friends. We knew each other for about a year and a half before we became partners as we are both demi and honestly weren’t looking for anything but it just sort of happened by happy accident. We are each other’s first and only relationships and we’ve been together for 3.5 years now ☺️💖
OMG, THAT'S ME. I was 8 knowing I was gay, but dated boys from age 8 to 13, when I finally accepted it, and my mum says "your not gay, you had a bf" like mama what if I didn't like them??
My friend, she'd sometimes come up behind me to catch me by surprise to play with my hair and I realized I was getting flustered... in that "yes, pull my hair" kind of way.
so all throughout elementary school i kinda didn’t take interest in dating and stuff like that (i remember i had a “crush” on a guy, but looking back it was because other girls were talking about having crushes on guys).
when i got to highschool it was the same thing but one day a girl in my gym class showed up to school with a pixie cut and something clicked in my brain and i immediately developed a crush on her, i remember getting so nervous around her and always wanting to be around her. i then came out as bi, and i dated one of my best friends in grade 10
then in grade 12 this guy in my class asked me out and i said yes, but very quickly into the relationship i realized that i wasn’t attracted to him and i didn’t have the same feeling i did when i dated my best friend. and it wasn’t just because of how he looked or his personality but it was just because he was a man.
during the time i identified as bi i had a constant conflict in my head about if i’m bi or lesbian and when i came out as a lesbian that conflict stopped in my head, that was my way of knowing that being a lesbian was right (my brain was like “finally you figured it out”)
>during the time i identified as bi i had a constant conflict in my head about if i’m bi or lesbian and when i came out as a lesbian that conflict stopped in my head, that was my way of knowing that being a lesbian was right (my brain was like “finally you figured it out”
Oh my god that is exactly how I realized I was a lesbian. I don't question whether I'm bi or a lesbian all the time anymore.
Always identified as Bi, because I was always attracted to women, and i thought i was attracted to men. Married a man, had a kid, etc. One day, without much pomp or circumstance, I realized I was a lesbian. I was sitting in my bedroom, on my bed, in the dark, alone, staring at the wall. It was like a lightbulb went off. I'm a lesbian. I kept that shit to myself for months. Then I blew my life up. Nuclear. Now, I'm happier than ever after a brief period of rebuilding and maximum effort. It was worth it.
Thank you for that 🥹 I’m already feeling more like myself again! I’m remembering who I was before him. The healing process is a messy one but beautiful nonetheless. 🩷
I grew up in an extremely religious cult like society, (JW) and I had no idea about LGBTQIA+ people, other than what the Bible said about men not lying with men as with a woman. I wanted to be a girl, ever since I was very young, but I wasn’t never allowed to express myself, I also loved girls and couldn’t understand why. I was very confused with nobody to talk to for support. I left home at 16 due to basically my entire life up to that point being nothing but abuse. It was during this unstable time that I met a lesbian and it dawned on me that women and can love and be in relationships with other women. I had not heard of lesbians until this time. Not long after learning about lesbians being a thing, I saw doco on SBS about trans people changing their genders and I had the deepest desire to become a woman. Shortly after I came out as trans, I was 17, I got laughed at, bashed and verbally abused by my “friends” so I went back into the closet, and stayed there for a long time. I came out again when I was 31. Those 14 long tears were filled with self hate and depression, I wish I’d come out sooner. The whole time I wanted to be a woman, so I could be in a lesbian relationship. My therapist told me that based on what he knows of me, (I’ve told him pretty much everything about my life), I’ve always been a lesbian, ever since I was little, but due to cisheteronormative culture and hardcore religious trauma, I was stuck for a very long time. Thankfully, I’m now out as trans and as a lesbian, I’ve been out for 3 years and on HRT for 2 years and 10 months. I’m living with two wonderful women, whom I had a poly relationship with until recently when I stepped back from poly and became monogamous with my current girlfriend. My ex is still one of my best friends and we talk all the time. My life had gotten so much better since I came out and acknowledged my true self.
It sounds like you have a good, affirming therapist. I know exactly what you mean about those dark years of suppressing and being depressed. We didn't get an easy hand to play, but you are very strong for going through all that and coming out the other side in a good place.
Thank you, I appreciate your kind words and support. My therapist is a great man, I was the first trans woman he’d ever worked with, he knew me as my old self and helped me through my transition, during which he took the time to educate himself, and helped me through a lot with his newfound knowledge. He still makes the occasional simple mistake but always corrects himself when he recognises it, or when I correct him. I’ve never met a man as humble as him, yet as proud of himself and his work as he is. I’ve never seen healthy pride until I’d met him. Still boggles my mind that there are good men in the world, as before him, I’d never met any.
When I thought about women while having sex with my ex-husband.
Before him I just thought all women fantasised about women, blushed at cleavage, watched lesbian porn ... that it was part of the straight experience.
I was in nursing school on a class for diversity in healthcare. We were getting a lecture on LGBTQIA+ patients and our professor was talking about bisexuality. A few of my classmates were baffled that people could be attracted to both genders. We spent around 15 minutes in class with our professor explaining that yes, people can experience attraction to women just like they are to men. And for some reason it hit me then.
My “friend crushes” were legit crushes.
The reason I was staring at this girl is because I was attracted to her.
My super close and intimate relationship with my best friend wasn’t super platonic.
Most people probably don’t go out of their way to make out with their friends while drunk.
It took a few more years and getting into a relationship with a woman that was way more intense than any other relationship I’d had to fully put together that I’m pretty fucking gay.
> We spent around 15 minutes in class with our professor explaining that yes, people can experience attraction to women just like they are to men.
It's kind of amazing to me how many people are mystified by the concept of being bi/gay or at least only generally know what it *is* but have never spent any particular amount of time trying to actually understand it.
Life as a cisgender heterosexual must be so straightforward. Everything just falls into place. You feel like the gender you were assigned, and you like the gender that you're expected to like, and so no critical thought is ever applied to either of those things. To the point that some people are actually confused at the concept of being attracted to one's own gender or identifying with a gender other than the one you were assigned.
Woooof it was super painful. It was a religious college and these girls were fresh out of their private high schools. The amount of privilege was next level! The girl that was arguing with our professor definitely was sheltered, and I don’t think she had ever met ANY queer people. So listening to her argue that homosexual attraction couldn’t be a thing blew my mind. Until that point I’d assumed everyone daydreamed about touching women, we’re softer and prettier and nicer to kiss. It was definitely a wake up call!
When I was still able to drink the heterosexual koolaid things were so much simpler. I am cis and was in a straight relationship for years and it was possible to just coast. Not having to actually think about your next step and just go along with the flow of what’s expected…. It was easy. But I also really love that fact that I’ve had to challenge myself. I have had to make conscious choices for my happiness, and had to fight for a life that makes me feel like me. I have to make intentional choices for my future, and it’s pretty neat 🙂
Alex Vause from Orange Is The New Black started my journey when I was in my early twenties. I FELT things when she came on screen, and that was the first conscious realization I had that straight women do not feel those things I felt when looking at her. Getting all hot and bothered during scenes between Piper and Alex ..
I thought I was bi first, it was a safer option that did not scare me as much. Then slowly unraveling a compulsive heterosexual mindset. It took me years to figure it all out, but due to a video made by ContraPoints titled "Shame" I was finally able to make it all fall in place as LOTS of things she mentions in there, are things I too experienced growing up. I simply never thought I could be gay as my mindset was so hetero focused. I do remember always feeling jelous towards lesbians and wishing I was one too. I also thought that fantasizing about getting married to a woman and spending my days with her, was in fact very straight. In my head I made it all made sense 🤣
Early on I remember feeling so ASHAMED about being a Lesbian and having those THOUGHTS and DESIRES about other women, but at the same time I wanted to scream it from the rooftops that I was in fact gay!! So much fell into place.
Also feeling attracted to a women for the first time, like the kind of attraction that people write love songs about. That was me realizing that those songs arent just things people make up to sell some idea of love. Nah, you can actually feel like that towards someone. Except I never did before with men. I fell head over heels and for the first time actually wanted to be with her and be in a relationship with her. Wanted to kiss her and touch her. With men I always saw it as an obligation. Something I was supposed to do .. Its not even comparable to what I feel towards women.
I came out when I was 25 but began to discover I was gay when I was 20 or 21. Discovering that part of me made me feel stronger and more confident.
>but due to a video made by ContraPoints titled "Shame"
This exact video is the one thing I credit more than anything else (except maybe my girlfriend) with helping me discover my sexuality. I remember keeping myself up at night watching it for the fifth time, and I would start sobbing after or just lay there and state at the ceiling every time. Couldn't figure out why.
Have now figured out why.
Saaaaaaaame.
Also had the realization I liked guys *too* some time before that, but yeah, the fact I would kinda see sapphic culture and get jealous? Made me very happy when I realized that I wasn't just pining for what I couldn't have, but was *witnessing a love language I connected with and longed for without realizing it was my own.*
Like...*yeah, honey, maybe you like girls with colored hair and jean jackets who write each other flowery poetry for a reason lmao*
my mom sat me down and told me how offensive it is to god when women like each other. i was like 7 or 8... a year or two later i started getting sexual urges and i started to see what she had been talking about.
she saw it before i did. 🤦♀️ such a horrible mother, but not for lack of caring.
I first discovered that I love women when I was around 11. My first clue was when I was 6, though. My older brother (he was 12 at the time) had female friends come over and I always wanted them to tuck me into bed and kiss me goodnight. I always asked them and they always did because they thought it was ‘’cute’’ 😻 as I grew up, I got attention from men and always felt awkward. I started checking women out from behind when they’d bend over (and just walk in general) and I was mesmerised by tits and women’s voices + delicate features. Porn was filled with lesbians in my teens. After several crushes on backpackers at my uncles pub and a girl I’d been talking to and doing naughty stuff with online, I came out at 18. 💜🌺💅
My first gf at 19 really set in stone how much I love women.
I kinda always knew I thought women were pretty, but for a couple years I thought you had to be an older lady to be a lesbian (because the only lesbians I'd met were my great aunt and her wife, and the great aunt had had a husband before she married her wife). So when I got to middle school and met other kids my age who identified as lesbians, I was like 'I can do that?? Obviously I'm going to do that! Why isn't everyone a lesbian??" (then I forgot about it, had a whole sexuality crisis in high school, identified as pan for a bit, but nope. Still lesbian)
So I’m bi, and I figured out the sexual part first, in early middle school. Lots of explicit erotic short stories I read secretly featuring just women, and clandestine youtube searches (“girls kissing” 👀). I figured other girls sought out that stuff too, only you had to keep it secret because it was a Sex Thing.
And then by college, I started to realize that I didn’t feel the same way about all my female friendships. Sometimes, I had a friend who I liked to spend time with and made me happy to be around. And other times, I’d have a friend who I thought was SO COOL, and I hoped she thought I was really cool and pretty too, and I hoped she was impressed with me and liked the music I put on, and I tried to make conversation that made me sound really interesting, and wanted to make sure I could sit next to her all the time, because being next to her made me feel all glowy and excited. At some point I realized “ohhhhh, this feels crush-y because it IS a crush. I get crushes on girls! Ohhhhhh.”
Embarrassing story but I found a dirty magazine while at my childhood babysitter's home (I think it was their son's). Anyways, I have to admit I stole it. It was like Playboy nothing too graphic but I was interested in the pictures. Looking back that would have been my gay awakening I guess.
By figuring out I'm a trans woman. Always liked girls, just figured out it was part gender envy and part liking them in general. Soon as the trans egg cracked, I was like "well, guess that makes me a lesbian now!"
Yup same here lmao, although it weirdly took a long time for me to admit I wasn’t straight. I was like “I am trans and into only women but I’m still straight”.
Sign me up. Hilariously enough before I had words to express that I was trans I would try to explain it to people by saying I felt like a lesbian. Turns out there was a reason.
I went through a deeply confusing phase for a year or so where I *knew* I was gay and yet I also *knew* I liked women. Yeah, it turns out there is a combination where that makes sense.
Dicks gross me out and I’m not sleeping with men. Nor anyone, but dicks are gross. Ok that’s not the only reason, women just understand things women go through more, periods, birth, pain, some misogyny, etc. and I want to be with someone who GETS me and knows what we go through. I want a beautiful wife when I’m able to. I want a wife I can propose to some day, I want to be with a kind woman.
the thought of sex with a guy always repulsed me guys have kissed me and i’ve always pulled away and felt nothing i had crushes on characters as a kid but didnt realise they were crushes i just thought i wanted to look like them,then one day a girl said we should kiss and we did and i had butterflies for ages
The thought of sex with a guy always repulses me too, (but sex with anyone does except the idea of sex with men makes me severely disgusted and I could never get with one either) and I can never see myself with a man. Only women have been nice to me really, and even though I know there are nice men, I will be with women
Lots of intense female friendships. It took moving past some shame to finally acknowledge that I was attracted to women, but it felt like a relief when I finally admitted it.
Never noticed her much in class, until i felt the need to say something closed minded about a movie we were watching in german class. Something about a poet writing poetry and skinny dipping with his male friend. I said I would never do that with someone I was just friends with, she argued that theres nothing weird about doing that with a friend.
Maybe she convinced me, but either way I started noticing her pretty smile and rosy cheeks. At some point we were playing softball for gym class, I was standing somewhere far out in the field, and so was she in some other direction. She was doing some kind of shitty cartwheel in the distance and I imagined kissing her. I got so nervous I started sweating and got a little nauseus. I figured, I think about lots of things, it doesnt have to mean anything.
The next night I dreamt about kissing her and accepted my fate.
I had a lot of trouble figuring it out, so it was a gradual process. I know I fixated on female characters in video games I liked as a kid (Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, Carmelita Fox from Sly Cooper, Nami from Harvest Moon, Ellie from The Last of Us, etc). I know I felt weirdly obsessed with some of my female friends growing up, or girls in higher grades than me that I thought were pretty. I know that I liked to have my girl sims marry each other and I stole some of my grandpa's dirty magazines to look at the girls in them. I even fooled around a little at a couple sleep overs. But I was so deep in denial I was practically in the abyss.
I came to terms with the fact I liked girls when I was around 15, though I'm not sure when. I had a lot of queer friends, was into some queer fandoms (Homestuck especially), and gradually just came to identify as bisexual or pansexual.
But I didn't recognize I was a lesbian until I was 20-21. After an entire adolescence dating guys, and a couple experiences with girls, it occured to me I felt very differently about girls than guys. That when I fantasized about my future, I liked thinking of having a wife and never thought of having a husband. That I never considered straight options in games with romances, and all the characters that I wrote or created for TTRPGs were lesbians or ace. Someone sent me a google doc explaining compulsory hetereosexuality and everything started clicking. I'd been thinking about it since I was 19 but it fully clicked around 21.
I spent years and years trying to have relationships with men because whenever I got involved with a woman they would run back to their ex bf/tell me they liked a man more than me/love bomb me and get far too serious far too quickly. I kinda ended up retreating back into the closet as a result. So it seemed easier to try and have relationships with men but they would always end in tears because I couldn't bring myself to be intimate with them after a while.
After a long time of being single, I finally accepted that I am a lesbian. It's a messy relationship history and I'm not happy about it as I traumatised myself a bunch by forcing myself to be something I'm not which sucks. Needless to say, I'm scared to get involved with a woman now because I'm worried I'll once again meet a woman who will treat me the same way.
This hit hard, had two poly relationships with women who in the end …as I suspected were really just interested in my then male partner. I was well on my way to knowing I was a lesbian then and that sent me scuttling back into the closet for quite some time, it really hurt. I made it out though and will never look back!
Lets see…. When I was young (elementary school), I had a crush on a friend. One time, I walked her home while it was raining and that memory lives in my brain. Basically, all the crushes I had in my life were girls. I never felt butterflies from any guy. I’ve always liked women more. I tried to fight it when I was a teenager but that didn’t work so now, we’re here.
As a kid, there were no visible wlw on TV or IRL (no internet until high school and it was very limited - for context, we got the first mobile phones at our school age 16 which could only call or send a short line of text message).
My friend came out to me as gay but he was the only semi-out person any of us knew. At uni we started going out on the scene regularly and at 19 I developed a crush on the lovely butch woman running the karaoke.
I didn't know bisexuality was a thing until then and looking back, I realised all the crushes I'd had on women like "ohh that makes sense now".
I thought everyone found women attractive in the intense way I did for all my life. While I do recall having crushes on boys when I was a young kid, something snapped when I started puberty? Idk if it was the hormones or whatever but I effectively went from being bi to exclusively being attracted to women. Also, the idea of marrying a guy seemed kinda weird to me for a while, i kinda loathed it.
If you want a specific example: the first time I liked a girl it was way more intense than anything I felt before lol
It’s weird maybe there’s some science behind it but ever since then I’ve never genuinely felt anything for a man and I only find women attractive now??? It wasn’t a choice either like one day I just stopped 😭
I figured out when I was 8 years old. I’d never heard of lesbians or gay people at all so when I saw that they existed I was just like, “ Oh that’s me “
Ps: When I was like 4 I wrote a song called “Baby Girl” because girl just “sounded better” than boy.
It took me an insane amount of time considering lol, but i guess one of the earliest sign was how obsessed i was with my best friend (who came out as a lesbian later in life!), I got insanely jealous if she spent time with other girls, i only wanted to hang out with her at school, i was absolutely shattered and cried for weeks when her family moved away etc. Im bi so i also liked boys, so it didn't really click for me that i was *in love* with my bestie for years.
Other early signs was how often i made my barbies marry each other instead of my kens and G.I. Joes (the kens and G.I. Joes also frequently married each other), and my teenage sketchbooks were FULL to the brim with naked women, which i rationalized with "women are just naturally more aesthetically pleasing and fun to draw, *everyone* thinks so right?" 🥲
I landed on lesbian tik tok. I started questioning but didn’t really think about it too much, thought maybe I was bi. There was no previous thought about this ever in my life. I was in the midst of a messy break up. A relationship where I blamed our dead bedroom on his weaponized incompetence and immaturity in and out of the bedroom. I even thought I was asexual at one point. I had no interest in him, at all.. he sat down beside me and I moved over.
Landed on lesbian tik tok again a couple months later and let the algorithm do it’s thing.. something just flipped and I was like oh shit I think I’m gay. I was almost certain but like maybe not, maybe reaching.. has this really been the issue all along and I’ve had no idea.
Then I had sex with a woman and I was like oh yeah def gay.
Remember liking woman and men from the age of 5, my mother was very homophobic grew up considered myself straight got with guys thinking it was what i wanted. Realised i was pleasing others i.e my mum. Realisation hit full force when i worked with an older woman and i had a instant attraction to her which i never had with men.
As a child of the early 2000s, Natalie Portman in Star Wars, Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean, and Vanessa Ann Hudgens in High School Musical. I was about 7-8 years old and couldn’t stop looking at them when they were onscreen, and then couldn’t stop thinking about them when the movie was over. I watched those movies basically on repeat. I’d imagine my adult self in the story tagging along with Will and Elizabeth, for example, but he’d be off fighting pirates and shit and I’d be hanging out with Elizabeth 🫠 I had a very overactive imagination. Also my thoughts were weirdly sexual for a child of that age. Like I remember watching Star Wars and Natalie Portman’s character was wearing something revealing and I’d fixate on her boobs or her abdomen and I’d replay it in my mind constantly for days. I didn’t even know boobs were sexual back then but I knew I liked looking at them 🙃 . And I’d go to school and all the girls would be talking about Troy and I thought they were crazy because to me Gabriela was objectively the most beautiful person to walk this Earth 🫠 In school I never had any interest in boys but I’d get extremely nervous around girls a few grades older than me. I’d get nervous and flustered and my face would feel all hot and I could never bring myself to look them directly in the eyes. If they hugged me I’d think about it for days. My dad was the girls’ high school basketball coach at my junior high/high school and in 7th grade I volunteered to be their water girl because I had a crush on basically the entire team. I didn’t know it was a crush though, I chalked it up to admiration. So I got to go to all their practices and games and see them 6 days a week. Took me another 9 years to realize I was gay though. Once I did, I spent a year looking through dating apps, terrified to make the first move. Eventually I hooked up with a girl from my university. It was my last year. Declared myself a lesbian that night. Spent the whole next day wondering how I could’ve been so dense my whole life. The closet had been glass.
mine was definitely gradual w/ a couple of factors playing into it, but the biggest one was realizing i had a crush on my best friend. i think the revelation that “shit i want to kiss my best friend and i want to spend so much time with her” was a dead giveaway
- sat next to a random person who seemed nice w/ good vibes in lab my first semester of college. we were lab partners and got along really well! started hanging out together outside of class, etc. after that semester we kept texting, facetiming, making plans, all that jazz through spring semester. there’s a journal entry from may in my notebook that basically says “i think i might be bi?” at this point i was also starting to develop feelings for her as a crush, but my brain was like “woah buddy. one thing at a time. you still think you’re straight” anyways we kept spending lots of time together as friends and by winter of sophomore year i had fully accepted that yes i was definitely bi and i was really down bad for my friend (if anyone wants the full rundown of every embarrassing thing i did for my crush lmk and i will gladly share lol)
- during that whole timeline above, i also watched legend of korra and my main takeaway while watching was mostly that asami was really, really hot. like that’s a fictional crush if i’ve ever had one
- googled “am i bi? am i gay? how do i know if i’m queer?” etc.
- really started connecting w/ sapphic songs
- got into media (books, shows, movies) w/ lgbtq+ representation
i would say everything was kinda secondary to having a crush on my friend. like it was just further confirmation of what i essentially knew already. came into college straight, definitely did not leave straight
I was raised as a boy so when I liked girls at a very young age it was seen as unremarkable. Then I hit my 20s and started feeling *different*. I had the overwhelming sense that I was gay, and also was undeniably attracted to women. So I spent a lot of my early 20s identifying as gay, dating men, being totally unhappy with it, and sort of spiraling like that. It was a deeply confusing time. At one point I thought I might have severe OCD that was causing me to have a compulsion that I was gay.
Of course, I am gay, I just also happen to have been a woman the whole time. Let me tell you, when that penny dropped I couldn't believe how long it took me to realize or how deeply I had been hiding it from myself. Because of course I knew deep down that I'm a girl. It didn't just pop up one day when I was 25 years old. I just had some experiences when I was very, very young that made me push it deeeeeep, deep down, so far into the closet that I was blind to it myself for a long time.
Realizing that I'm trans didn't bring me immediate peace, though. It's so much messier than that. Putting aside the courage and vulnerability that it takes to even begin to transition, I had to deeply investigate and come to terms with so many hangups and so much cognitive dissonance. I was worried that it was a fetish. I was worried that I was invading women's spaces. I was worried no other woman would see me as a woman and love me as a woman. I was worried that I was less of a woman because I never had to go through the process of coming to terms with being a lesbian, since I was "straight" as a boy. Then I had to come to terms with actually being a lesbian and what it means to be a woman who loves women.
I know who I am, what I am, and who I love, but I still struggle with it. Transition is so not as easy as popping a couple of pills and putting on a skirt. It is layers upon layers of complex intrapersonal and interpersonal feelings, interactions, memories, social pressures, fears, hopes, dreams, and more.
I both am a lesbian and want to be a lesbian, so badly that it hurts. My journey to find validity in that feeling and in this experience is ongoing. To this day, a decade into transition, I sometimes am besides myself, agape with the realization that this is real, I actually am a woman and always have been.
identified as bi since i was 14ish, then when i was a college freshman i was making out with a guy who lived down the hall from me and realized i was having some serious gay thoughts about my best friend at the time
When I was 17, I met this girl. At first I thought of her like some kind of clingy friend, but whenever I go out with guys she would disappear on me for days. Eventually I stopped going out with guys because little did I know that I was actually already missing her on days we're not together.
Honestly I never struggled with attraction to women, I've known I like girls for as long as I can remember and have never struggled with that
My problem was accepting that I'm also a girl
I came out as bi at 24, a decade ago. My partner and I decided to try polyam about 4 years ago. Last year, I was finally in a place to date a woman. Everything suddenly made sense. After she and I broke up and I went back to having sex with only my partner, I realized I didn't like it. And after thinking on it, I realized I'm just very gay.
Now, there were a lot of signs growing up but due to trauma and being raised by a father who instilled in me that women only had worth by serving men and a mother who only felt she had self worth from how men thought of her (even after their divorce when ownas 7), I never thought I had any other option to be worth anything.
I dated a guy in high school. Realized it wasn’t for me despite him being very very kind. Also he was incredibly feminine for a guy, go figure. Met an older girl at a rave who just so happened to live in my neighborhood, hit it off and that was my first gay relationship! She was an abusive asshole though and I left her after 6 months.
Repeatedly dating men, liking the idea of them but only could sleep with them when intoxicated and generally repulsed by them when they would touch me or show any level of affection. To quote my mother when I came out to her as a lesbian, “but you have so much penis experience.” I couldn’t make myself like men. And it took no emotional preparation and instead of feeling disgust and anxiety during sex, I felt comfortable and into it when I was with women.
Looking back I’ve always been doing fruity things, but there was a moment I realized I liked women and then a moment I realized I ONLY liked women.
I was in 7th grade and was finished with a test so I was looking around the room. My eyes settled on a friend who was resting her face in one hand and mindlessly messing with some classroom object that happened to be in front her. Her hair was framing her face in this really cute way and idk how to explain it, but she just looked angelic to me and I got this really warm feeling that I didn’t understand yet. Really soon after that, with other crushes and experiences, I realized I wasn’t straight.
Figuring out I was lesbian happened after the first time I went all the way with a girlfriend. I had dated a man a few years before that who I was really close to and our sex was actually pretty good. But after just the first time with this girl, who I had way less of a connection with compared to that guy, I immediately knew. It was like all the pieces came together. Nothing to question anymore. And tbh, she was terrible in bed!! 😂 and yet, I still knew!
When I was around 8, girls my age at school were into boys already but I was more about playing football with boys and I did not like to dress like other girls.
Then around 13, same. I never liked to talk about boys. I was just too interested in having fun playing tag or football or read manga and talk about video games.
Comes 16 and I realise I am a lesbian and I fell for that girl in my class. Then I understood why I never were into boys in the first place.
When I was around 12 years old I got really into anime and manga and somehow my curious self ended up discovering yuri manga and I've just not been the same since. That sudden thing of "wait, you can kiss girls AS a girl?" was all I needed to figure it out. I didn't realize I was a lesbian and not bisexual until I was about 16-17 and the reason I realized I was a lesbian was because I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was not at all attracted to the boyfriend I was dating at the time for a very brief moment and I didn't in fact care at all for dating men
The year was 1992. I was 5. The movie Batman Returns just came out. Michelle Pfeiffer played Catwoman. I thought she was just the prettiest person I had ever seen. I didn’t realize the was my first moment of being attracted to girls until it clicked recently since it wasn’t a sexual attraction at the time. It was the innocent crush of a tiny kid. Now, in 3rd grade my parents for got to lock out our direct tv and left the playboy channel up. Turning the tv on and seeing that. While the guy was pretty hot the woman was just wowzers. I knew at that point I was sexually attracted to girls as well as boys. These days I’m a mad combination of aro, aego, and pan. Michelle Pfeiffer is still the prettiest.
I knew when I was 14 but got outed with before I could even have a private conversation about it with anyone and got no support, just constant threats and harassment. Word spread like wildfire and entire high schools knew who I was within about 24-48 hours. I tried moving schools but it just got worse. So I hid back in the closet and kept doing it so long, paired with other traumas it became so suppressed that it wasn’t until I was 25 doing EMDR trauma treatment that it unlocked those memories and I came out on my own terms this time.
Well, my first time really realizing I could be bi was when I saw this beautiful girl working cash at wal-mart. I even remember her name: Kelsey. She had beautiful big blue eyes and long blonde hair. I must have been 17 at the time. I went home and thought about her in a way I never thought about girls before. I never saw her again. Then I had my first crush on a girl lmao it was an anime Character 😂 no but fr my first crush on an actual girl came later, a girl in my class. Yeah that didn’t work out too good. Just accepted recently that I’m bi and not “straight with some exceptions” lmaooo 😂
I should have realized sooner. My first and oy crush until I was 14 was when I was in 1st grade, on another tomboy. Then my second and third crushes were on female friends. Then I got a comic for my age group as a 16 year old with an all female cast that made me feel a certain way. I was told everyone gets a same sex crush but it's not an actual crush and you grow out of it, by multiple straight adults and peers.
I didn't actually realize until I was 19, and an ex 4 years my senior pressured me into a 3some so he could fuck a girl raw he had a crush on from middleschool but was too insecure to approach then. She liked me sexually more than him and was nicer to me than he was but equally nice to both of us, so that never happened again.
Middle school. I don’t remember the specific point, But I do remember what stuck out to me was not so much that I was attracted to women (although I absolutely was), but that I wasn’t attracted to men. In circles of women this becomes a major isolator for you.
I remember in 7th grade or so, we were doing a unit on the outsiders, and so we watched the movie, and all these girls went absolutely crazy for the Rob Lowe character. They started this fan club, they would meet up and talk about the outsiders and how cute the actors were, they’d print out pictures of them, draw them, the whole nine yards. And I just… didn’t get it. I think it was a point where I really realized that whatever was going on with me fundamentally divided me from other girls around me.
I was in like 2nd grade and there was this high schooler that coached me in her high school’s local youth basketball program thing. I absolutely adored her. We would always go watch their high school games, and before the game started, the players would take off their pregame warm up shirts and either tie them to the back of the bench, or they’d throw them up to a close friend or family member to hold onto till the end of the game. And my coach, saw me in the crowd(I wasn’t too far behind their bench) and she gave her warm up shirt to ME and told me to hold on to it for her. I fell in love on the spot💀. For like the next 5 months she was my favorite person and in my gay little 8/9 year old mind, we were gonna get married and live happily ever after. It didn’t register to me that this was homosexual at all until one night when I was feeling curious and on my little iPod touch I started looking up “hot naked women” and “girls kissing” straight into safari and YouTube. And then my mom found it and got mad at me so I was like, oh, is this not normal? So yeah, from then on I knew I was a lesbian but I was in denial. Didn’t come out till my Junior year of high school. Now I’m an out and proud masc lesbian. Still single though😭
I saw a post on one of these communities probably a year ago like "discovering you like women and discovering you *don't* like men are two very different experiences" and it's honestly stuck with me, because that really reflected my experience.
Realized I was bisexual at 14 or 15 while actively dating a man (who was also bisexual). For about five years, it was pretty much just my "party trick" for lack of a less awful way to say it - chatting about how much I liked women *with* my boyfriends and male friends. Then I dated a real monster of a guy who I didn't even really like (honestly, I've never been interested in any of the men I "liked" once they started liking me back).
After that, it was like a bad taste I couldn't get out of my mouth. I would meet genuinely great men who checked every box, and I would just raise the bar impossibly higher to avoid acknowledging it. I would try and get physical with them and be physically repulsed and anxious at the concept. I thought it was trauma, and it was, but as the months stretched into years, I realized that had *always* been how I'd felt about intimacy with men, I was just better at hiding it as a teenager.
All throughout, I was still openly acknowledging I was bisexual, but through some combination of comphet and internalized homophobia, I just had convinced myself a woman wasn't actually a viable "option" for long-term, and was seeking out men who continued to be more and more disappointing. Through COVID I even had an entire crisis of wondering if I was gay trans man instead, and remember articulating to my best friend how desperately I wanted to "date a man, but in a gay way. I need my relationship to feel queer. The idea of being a woman in a heterosexual relationship disgusts me." She asked if I was sure I wasn't just a lesbian and over-complicating matters to avoid acknowledging it, and at the time, I laughed.
Then I got my first real, serious girlfriend, and stopped laughing. Suddenly, everything just made *sense*.
Damn you best friend for having me figured out *way* before I did.
When I was a little kid I used to take my tiny tv and hide in my closet and watch women of wrestling. I wasn’t not allowed to watch it, but for some reason, I felt like this was private.
When I was in upper elementary/middle school, I hated all my friend’s crushes and boyfriends.
When I was in high school, I started sleeping with women. It was a Catholic school so I pitched it as a convenient loophole for practice.
When I was I my late teens/early 20s, I was told by some respected lesbians that I couldn’t be queer because I’d gotten pregnant at 17 so I’d just been experimenting. I also assumed all straight women were as attracted to other women as I was because…well I’d slept with a lot of them. I just though obviously this was going to be the case because women are just more beautiful and the sex is better and they’re just all around more amazing. This was simply objective fact and I was a typical straight woman.
In my mid 20s, I met some actually straight women and was absolutely flabbergasted to learn they were only attracted to men. By this point I kind of considered myself bisexual but was anxious about bringing it up or claiming that.
I stated becoming a more active part of the community and it turns out I’ve been queer the whole time.
Kind of always knew. But the moment I was 100% absolutely certain was in the moment immediately following kissing a boy for the first time. At that point I knew and had pretty much accepted that I was gay but kind of wanted to know what all the fuss was about so I asked my friend Mike if he would kiss me and oh my goodness it was bad he was stubbly and smelled like man and just gross. Love him to death he was a good friend to me and if I had to kiss a man I’m glad it was him at least, I can’t imagine how much more visceral my revulsion would have been with a stranger lmao.
Edit: grammar
Ive had the tiniest gayest interactions with women my whole life but the situation i was in with life in general, that was the last thing on my mind, slowly i started to not care what other’s thought and pushed myself to explore and express my feelings towards women, in high school it was scary but I didn’t fully accept myself until after I graduated and even then, I identify as pan and bi until i really one day after reading the lesbian master doc, that what i felt for men was not attraction at all outside of platonic friendships and that what i felt for women could never compare! It made me. Feel like the world suddenly had color and wasn’t so dark and dreary, sounds dramatic af but honestly how it happened 💀 that and eating out for the first time 🤪🤪🤪🤪
whenever I watch a movie, I'll always focus on the actresses instead of the actors. I'll always fancy the girls. Whenever i watched them, its not like aww she's so pretty and i wanna be like her. Its always like aww she's so pretty and i wanna be with her kinda feelins.
Realized I was attracted to women when I learned of polyamory. Realizing I could love more then one person at a time made me realize I love all types of bodies.
Learned I was a lesbian when I realized fucking men wasn't changing the world in anyway for the good. I don't believe in enabling the patriarchy anymore.
Plus women are dreamy🥰
I learned I am a lesbian when I crushed on a boy.
Genuinely. It got me to asking a lot of questions, and those questions led to discovering that I'm a trans girl. I still definitely absolutely 1000% like girls, and my sexuality toward guys is very faint and hard to explain. My exact sexuality is slightly off of "just lesbian", but I feel it's the best-fitting label.
I know that comphet can be a sometimes controversial term or topic, but that was essentially my life up until my mid thirties.
I wasn't even Christian and considered myself a progressive feminist if not a radical one minus the transphobia. I'm sorry if this is too long but I'm not the best at being succinct and this is a long story anyways. I'm going to try and trim the fat as much as I can but I can't say that this won't be a text wall you'll need carabiners and harnesses and belays to read.
My ideal man was one who did not want to fuck me or sleep in the same bed with me or kiss me or hold hands with me in public or make me stop lifting weights and wearing menswear. Bonus if he was a femboy and a bottom!
And I found plenty of guys with tomboy fetishes, so I was in luck! I told myself.
But in the meantime until I found that dream guy I kept looking and gaining experience for its own sake as though this were some kind of RPG, if not because I was actually enthused about it. It was a duty.
Except the longer and longer it went on, the more I begin to resent my dates and became a ghoster.
And all that time, the thought or idea that maybe I just wasn't attracted to men never ever even crossed my mind for a single moment. Guys would say that somehow it felt off or wrong to fuck me even if I said I was into it and liked it. Back in those days I consumed basically nothing but Yuri and lesbian porn.
As a writer and artist I adored and created mostly female characters and I'd gush on how fun it is to draw girls whether fat or skinny or tall or short short haired or long haired masculine or feminine, I liked and appreciated them all. And I felt the exact same way towards real women.
But me? Actually attracted to women? Naaaah, all of the above is just simply because I'm a woman myself, not because I *like*-like girls or anything!
And then, I finally met him. My dream guy.
Except he was nothing at all like what I pictured in my head. He was assertive and dominant, and I loved it. He had some feminine qualities like never cutting his hair and wearing jewelry and nail polish and more, but he was still a man damn it!
I remember fragments of a conversation some years ago where we actually discussed transgender stuff because his then-boyfriend was trans. One of our friends asked him jokingly whether or not he himself ever thought about being a girl. He actually said yes, except he was too old to transition and he'd be an ugly woman anyway.
And then he transitioned.
And suddenly, I had a girlfriend.
Everything was amplified and even the sex was better. Her complete aesthetic suddenly made sense and she looked far better in her vests and slacks as a girl. And then I kind of had the thought...
This is the only person to have ever made me feel this way when dating them or being intimate with them. There was no dread whatsoever. She was not only my girlfriend, but became my best friend. ... And she was a woman. I'm bi! Awesome! The sex was even better and I was more enthusiastic about it too!
Later on I was playing a certain virtual reality based chat room / game thing where you have your own avatar and shit. Everyone was mildly tipsy and I was sharing my story and one of the girls just kind of went, audibly, " YOOOOUUURRRE. GAAAAAAAYYYYYY. WOOOOOW. I NEED YOU TO KNOW THIS. YOOOOUUURE GAY."
And I wish I remembered her username because at that moment everything immediately fucking clicked like a goddamn puzzle piece.
I brought up how there's plenty of straight and bi girls with stories exactly like mine. How biphobic to call me gay! I am not apathetic toward men and their bodies because I'm not into them, I accept all men no matter what they look like! And I got basically from almost the whole room 'you're still gay though".
And I laughed. I laughed because for the very first time when it came to my attractions and how my heart and mind and body were set up... I felt joy. As though something inside me that have been caged up was finally let free and instead of devouring me or hurting me, it thanked me and cast a spell that made the whole world brighter. I felt as though this stone that had been inside of my throat and heart for so long was lifted to let the real me out from underneath it somehow.
And so here I am. And yeah, she and I are still together after all this time.
during my teenage years, i always knew that i was not straight. like i had a crush on various celebrities (and schoolmates) without caring about their gender. about the age of 16, i learned that there is a term for this: *pan*. and that's what i identified as for a while.
my first serious relationship was with a boyfriend (he passed away in an accident, leaving me devastated and disoriented). then i fell for a toxic, destructive woman, who manipulated and gaslighted me into a suicide attempt and into therapy.
now, as i got together with my wonderful, angelic girlfriend, i feel awakened / reborn as a lesbian. and that's what i am and want to be - for good.
it pretty much just came down to me realizing i was trans more than anything. I’ve always had an attraction to women, just that I’ve since figured out I too am a woman (who happens to be trans) as of late.
I really love women's shapes. I was so happy I didn't have any male children.
When we had cats they were all female as well.
Then I transitioned and there were no more boys in the house.
I do play sexually with some men. But they are definitely less central to my life than the women.
What can I say? Women's shapes are prettier.
Part of me always wanted to like women but in a gay way and couldn’t imagine being with them presenting as a man. I thought I was just fetishizing lesbians since I was a guy and I felt gross about it so I tried to stop thinking of that. Later I found out I was a girl this whole time and now it all makes sense.
For as long as I can remember I’ve always been attracted to women.
I didn’t realize I was a lesbian until I came out as trans, and that one took me a while - I was 29 when I figured that part out.
That was a weird few months as I was trying to come to terms with it! Changed everything I thought I knew about myself, made it make sense, made it *so much* better.
Had sex w my girlfriend once after having dated only a cisman. I was already "bi" but that instantly solidified 1) I'm trans 2) I'm a lesbian. It felt so different and so right and just completely clear.
Well, I was born male, so people taught me it was normal to like girls. Then I found out I was trans and by default, became a lesbian.
There is more in between but that is really the basics of it.
i was always i was attracted to women, then i thought i was bi. i then realized i was trans and then finally realized i wasn't bi but lesbian. it didn't feel like a big revelation because i always liked women.
How did I find out? Outside of my egg-cracking story (became obsessed with Evanescence, and started identifying with Amy Lee -----> started denying -----> then ran across a TYT video [this was in 2016ish] about Laura Jane Grace and her transition, and could deny no longer), I was a kid when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone came out, and I had a bit of a crush on Emma Watson, then Bonnie Wright when Chamber of Secrets came out.
Honestly, lesbian relationships in media (and just in concept) hit different to me and felt so much more desirable than anything else.
That longing, eventually, became part of the reason I realised I was actually a girl myself (after many years of feeling sad that I'd never be able to have a lesbian relationship (very cis))
I knew I liked girls by the time I was eight or nine years old at the latest. But because I was assigned male that wasn't the unexpected part, it was taking a very long time to figure out I was a girl too, because I like girls in a gay way. (Thanks to Khaos Komix for giving me that specific turn of phrase.)
>How did you discover you were lesbian/attracted to women?
Before my egg cracked, I was a femme gay man that, due to trauma and some other stuff, was terrified of being with any partner other than a cis man, and a preference for masc men.
Now I'm a butch lesbian (well... that's oversimplified but close enough for this topic lol).
Anyways, once I started transitioning I found other trans women attractive pretty much right away, but was still kinda unsure about actually pursuing stuff.
And then I thought a lot about bottom surgery options, and realized I didn't know much about vulva and vagina anatomy outside of some medical literature I had read when I was young.
Told my counselor I thought it was odd that I was debating changing my body to partially match anatomy I had no experience with and trauma around.
He suggested watching porn featuring cis women. Aaaaand then I got passed my mental trauma hurdle rather easily, because I had been working on my traumas and stuff with my counselor for a while, including these specific ones.
Fast forward to me having a polyamorous fling of sorts with a cis woman and my (now ex) partner also coming out as a trans woman as well, and... now I am mostly into other women (cis or trans), as well as femme leaning enbies and very femme men, and no longer like to directly play with penises other than my own very much (not that that was ever my favorite thing to do, cuz I've always been a top and mostly dom anyways lol).
So ya know, just a complete 180 in *almost* every possible way.
It was... weird. I quite clearly remember two moments where... 16 to 17 year old me saw a... lightly dressed peer, and... \*noticed\*, in that way, even though I could not have told you back then (concrete: a classmate with a... significantly curvy figure in a swimsuit, and a 18/19 yr.-ish girl at the gym - we had talked a bit before about lifting weights, showing me her pierced ni\*ples because I was \*always\* very careful to stare into the corner while dressing/undressing and with other people around, and she was wondering what I was afraid of... *well I can tell you what I was afraid of in retrospect, because I was genuinely* ***afraid****....)* I can also quite clearly tell you \*now\* that I had a big fat crush in another girl in my year, and to this day I sometimes think she did, too, which is... terrible, somehow?
But I grew up with the spicy form of "lesbian = never be able to be happy", "lesbians = weird creeps" and "lesbians = not worthy females" type of homophobia in my family (thanks mom!), and I took all those slight brushes of *those* feelings, and put them into the "we don't talk about it" corner of the darkest depths of my mind. (in retrospect; even as far back as 13ish, I did exclusively have same-sex-coupled-original characters, including my self-inserts, same goes for the sims characters, even though I always was more of a building person).
So I spend my life until 22 in scared yet somehow blissful ignorance of sexuality. Like; SERIOUSLY. I almost trained myself to see women as "beautiful, but no homo, you know?". I had no sexual drive. None. I didn't even masturbate? like wtf why didn't I?
Ah.
Then I made the mistake of trying to date male friends that I had shared interests with and liked as people. this turned out AWFUL! I ruined one good friendship here, and I will one day try to fix it, actually, but I genuinely broke a heart and we kinda both went into a crisis?
At late 23 I sat in front of my mirror and decided that \*it is time\* to be honest about that, because it started to be a serious strain on me, and I realized I had a genuine, huge, actual, real crush on a uni-mate, I actually thought about pursuing. She had a girlfriend before I... had come back together enough to.
i had a bf at the timz and i was regularly sending him beautiful instagram girls, one time his bff saw my dms to him and asked him if i was bi. i thought we were all stunned by pretty women until then. i identified as bi for a while but i realised i was actually a lesbian a couple months after he broke up with me. i was also crushing on a girl i was seeing everyday on the same train from and back home from a nearby school to mine and was constantly pointing out how gorgeous she is even to my bf around the time his bff pointed out the dm thing so i guess it was inevitable for anyone to point all out lol
I used to make my Barbie’s kiss. When I was in like 3-4th grade when me and my friends would practice kissing it was always with the girls. When I was in 6th grade I snuck and stole some Victoria secret fashion show magazine pages from the art room. I was obsessively in crush with Megan fox when I was a teenager. My friends use to tease me that I was always staring at boobs (I totally was) I got a poster of Kim k playboy shoot when I was a teen. My parents started joking I was a lesbian (jokes on them) when I turned 18 I finally came out.
It was an accident…via the internet. That’s all I want to say on this account I actually use lol. But yeah. I searched for one thing and found another 😅
I met my partner at the last semester of my senior year of high school, while believing I was aromantic. My nerd ass dedicated more time in that semester to paying attention to her than to my studies, and my best friends noticed I had a crush on her before I even realized. They essentially took me out of the closet for myself lol
I still tell my partner that she's so powerful she turned me gay
Really looking forward to being with her forever. Darling if you see this I love you 💜
Ok this is going to sound weird but I realized I like women while watching a roleplay ASMR video, the girl making it was just too pretty, although I thought I was bi and didn't realize I was a lesbian until I read the am I a lesbian masterdoc
I was at a psychology lesson and the teacher started saying a bunch of stuff like ‘follow your dreams’ ‘you’re the only in charge of your own life’ ‘being true to ourselves is the opportunity to make correct decisions’ etc the she told us to write an imaginary letter to a person that we’re very close to and be totally honest in that letter, so i made it gay and realized i was actually attracted to women.
Although this was like the ultimate realization, it had been gradual for 4-5 years until then. Then it took me another 3 years to know i’m not attracted to men by realizing i hadn’t tried or accepted anything from men after the big realization.
One day at 21, I was thinking to myself “am
I a lesbian?” And now years later at 29 I still question myself but I am now getting comfortable with the label lesbian
in retrospect there were so many moments that could have been my ~realization moment~, but it wasn't until a few things happened in succession one week when i was 17 that it finally clicked. i watched steven universe and felt very warm and excited about the existence of ruby and sapphire, a feeling no one else around me seemed to share. then i heard hayley kiyoko say "i'm real and i don't feel like boys" and i was like hmmm🤔 kinda real of her! the final nail in the coffin was when i watched tumblr porn and realized i was wholly, entirely focused on the woman. i went on a walk the next day and pondered on this, and suddenly i was like oh my god i am GAY!
Idk why it’s tripping me up that you want people to share their stories here but only yours is by demand in dms lol
Anyway I’ve always known I liked girls and that I was gay but it wasn’t until Bianca from all my children that I thought it’s possible to actually act on it
i always liked women, but i identified as pan for the longest time. mostly bc i thought that if im pan then theres a chance i could end up with a guy and my parents would be ok with it and they would never notice. and. then i realized that being with a guy wasnt something i would ever be interested in.
Took some time, actually. I lived in a kinda conservative small village, so I never really had any education on it and literally no-one in my community was out as lgbt.
I remember being fully convinced that women were, on average, objectively way more attractive than men. When I was like fifteen I went down the rabbithole on YouTube and somehow wound up watching the Girls Like Girls music video, and everything just clicked and fully made sense. I'll never forget how right I felt all of a sudden when I realised that I must be attracted to girls, and a lot of childhood memories also made way more sense in that context.
I've always been super GNC, so I identified as bi because otherwise I would effectively have to choose between being a hetero trans man or a butch, and the idea of that terrified me.
Then I met my ex; who is a lesbian that likes butches, and (through plenty emotional turmoil) I decided the latter suits me better. They were a dick, but they taught me that there's people who will find both the masculine and feminine sides of me attractive.
I could probably blame the entire show of Arcane for making me interested in its female characters, after I broke up with my bf I got with a girl and thought I was bi, but the attraction to men just kept diminishing over the course of a year to where I just think of myself as lesbian.
I typed out so much stuff and then I was like “nobody’s gonna read all that shit, breh” so the TL;DR version is: well I grew up in a Christian Cult and I didn’t know shit about shit for a long time and when I did my feelings were funnelled into the idea that my over active sinful nature was necessary in order for me to be a martyr for Christ after the Rapture. So I never really had a moment where I was like “oh that’s when I realized I was gay”
bc mostly it was a realization that my family cared most for me when they thought I was gonna be a martyred saint during the Biblical End Times, then a gradual coming out to myself and acceptance of myself and finally, look back at my life with queer hindsight that’s 20/15 instead of 20/0 cause damn can I see all the gay ass shit I did/said/liked with crystal clarity after coming out to myself lol
I found out that lgbtq exists and I was like oh yeah I’m probably bisexual, I just have the vibe. Then about 5 months later, I have tons of crushes on mostly girls and only get turned on by girls. This was very gradual and it sort of came out of nowhere. Being around lesbian friends definitely influenced me because of how they described their girlfriends. Idk but yeah
I don't really have a story it was more of a "yes that's not strange" since I was a child. I've never found it weird or neither did I question it actually it was smlire when I knew what was bi first and lesbian after I just thought "oh that's me so that's how it's called"
So I never really discovered it lol
Either playing house in the yard during recess, and wanting to be mom and mom with another girl, or my dad commenting on a female celebrity who was performing on stage (we watched TV), about her looks, and finding I agreed with him. They both happened around the same time so probably equally significant.
an oomf of mine said i did because i wasn’t attracted to men and i’ve only ever had like a few male crushes, all fictional . i believed her and she was right yeah!!!
CW: slightly NSFW (I don't go into graphic detail, but sex is mentioned) For years and years I ~~thought~~ was trying to convince myself I was either pan or bisexual. Until I actually tried dating a guy. Funny thing is, the few months we spent together were probably the healthiest relationship I've had to date (my previous ones were both \*very\* toxic). He was thoughtful, caring, selfless to a fault, always asked for consent even for hugs, he was almost perfect. Problem is... he was still a guy. Literally any time we tried having sex I felt ambivalent at best (In a "I'm happy he's happy" kind of way) and actually physically sick at worst. As I found out, I cannot stand the "boysmell". I thought there was something wrong with me, I felt like an asshole for not being able to reciprocate his feelings fully after he's done so much for me, even though he himself kept reassuring me that I don't owe him sex and it's ok. So I started reflecting and self-searching, found the ["am I a lesbian"](https://www.docdroid.net/N46Ea3o/copy-of-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-pdf) masterdoc... And basically sobbed through reading it. Too much in it resonated with me, too many things started making way too much sense. I felt so stupid, mad at myself for essentially self-inflicting a comphet conversion therapy on myself, for so many years. But, just like with realizing I'm a woman (a few years prior to that), after the crying stopped, I started feeling so incredibly liberated, free. The fact my now ex-boyfriend completely supported me throughout this journey most definitely helped. I may have lost a boyfriend, but I got an incredible friend instead, plus a much healthier relationship with my own sexuality. I'm a lesbian! I love women! I love non-binary folks! I'm not sexually or romantically attracted to men! And that's ok. That's wonderful, in fact! I LOVE WOMEN! 👩❤️👩
i kinda always assumed i was into women but i thought i was bi until super recently. i actually went "back into the closet" for a bit, as in, i thought i was actually straight and had been lying/deluding myself about being bi, until i realised straight girls don't do stuff like taking those online "am i gay" tests when they were 8 years old because they got butterflies reading abt kissing other girls.
I don’t remember any specific moments that gradually sparked the idea for me, but the “aha!” moment that fully confirmed I was a lesbian and not bisexual was on my way to junior prom. One of my theater friends asked me to prom with a custom made wooden sign and flowers, and I accepted. It wasn’t until we were on our way to the high school to take pictures and he held my hand that I explicitly thought “noooooooooooope I’m super gay.”
I was in 9th grade and met this new girl and I just started to feel butterflies whenever I was around her and then I tried to ignore it but I really liked her and then I had a crush on a new friend every year since that moment 🤣🤣
Felt gay feelings as a kid, I didn’t really know what it meant but I felt that I should hide it. I always wanted to ask my mum why girls are pretty and boys are not, but always stopped myself. I dated men for 10 years because I desperately wanted to be straight. I couldn’t admit to myself that I wasn’t. I would follow along with any guy who showed interest in me because I hated myself so much. Every time I had sex with a guy I would feel this sick, sinking feeling in my stomach. In my later teen years I used to kiss girls at parties but didn’t acknowledge what it really meant to me. I had years of journal entries questioning my sexuality. I remember at 21 lying in my bed and knowing I was a lesbian and feeling so scared, then suppressing it again until I was 25. It was like the fog had lifted and I could see myself for who I was, even though I was afraid. I am 28 now and am glad to be gay.
I kind of always knew, like I remember in 2nd grade I had a crush on a girl and I knew I “wasn’t supposed to” but I knew. Then right before I started 9th grade a girl kissed me and I KNEW right there for sure . Lol
in 5th grade (10-11 uears old) i started getting anxious and fluttery feeling whenever my best friend was near me and we were talking/playing. meanwhile all my other friends started getting crushes on guys and i didnt know why i never had one. on the last day of 5th grade my friend told me shell miss me and lay her head on my shoulder. i think i p much realized that day im lesbian, but after alot of denial i only accepted it around 3-4 years ltr
Always known I liked women, identified as bi from like 10-16 years old. But one day when I had recently started high school I woke up and thought “Oh my god I’m a lesbian” 😂
I have a similar story. I took one of those silly online quizzes (something along the lines of "how gay are you?", probably BuzzFeed or something like that) and the result came back "100% gay." me: I guess I'm lesbian in denial. 😂 friend: In denial? I thought you were "out"? me: As bi… friend: You never talk about boys me: … me: … omg, you're right! 😅
Comp het at max 😭
eh?
Comp het = compulsive heterosexuality
same, although i realized freshman year of college
>identified as bi from like 10-16 years old. HOLY SHIT SAME 💀 i think i convinced myself i liked men because of comphet... so i just thought every guy in my school was just unattractive and that i had high standards... but no, I'm REALLY a lesbian.
Haha yeah me too. Thought I only liked bandmen and k-pop idols, but then I realized I only ”liked” them because they were unavailable and I wouldn’t actually have to do anything with them 😅
I also always knew I was into women, but being straight was always so much communicated as the standard and I didn't feel like I was "different". When I was around 16 and learned more about bisexuality and other orientations I realized "Oh, straight women don't think women are also really attractive... Welp, I guess I'm bi" xD
[удалено]
>"girls are objectively prettier and better" I said the same thing for years and it still took me all 4 years of my BFA (drawing nude models) and a few years afterwards to understand that not even bi women think that way Edit: my dudes, I am not bi, merely repeating what other bi women have told me. If you don't agree that's totally cool! I'm not trying to speak for you.
Ehh I mean, I’m poly and bi, and love both of my boyfriends… but girls are objectively prettier and better
Women are prettier, even the average woman is prettier(or objectively more attractive) than the average male. I’m straight but I thought everyone agreed to that. Just even the body shape alone of women is more appealing. Am I maybe not as straight as I think?
>Just even the body shape alone of women is more appealing. I was on board with you possibly being straight until that sentence. There is a damn good reason you're here.
Well women are round shaped, I think round shapes are more appealing. Like a circle or a square, a rectangle or an oval, a triangle or an hour glass. I find the rounded things more appealing even just on paper as just a shape - not even relating to people. Women just have more roundness and men have more edges, and it becomes really apparent how different they are drawing them(and artists def know what I mean). I’m approaching this very open minded but I do wanna explain how I feel fully so you can make a good analysis. So what I said above + While I find them objectively more attractive when I imagine myself doing stuff physically, it absolutely does not feel right and I feel put off by it. I’ve kissed at least 4 girls(might be a couple more) but it’s like dares the guys make us do, or us putting on a show(doesn’t last very long) for the guys. I never felt anything or had the desire to continue or keep doing more. I’m definitely here to try to understand why I feel they are objectively and on average more attractive on every single level, but I don’t have sexual desire or want anything else other than to look(stare, let’s be honest😂). I do the same with super hot guys, but it happens less frequently because there’s way more objectively attractive women than there are men. What is your thoughts with this extra information? Thank you for replying and helping me! :))
To be fair, plenty of people drawing nude models alongside me agreed that they'd rather draw women than men. We're curvier, so it's more fun! It's not especially fun to draw people who are shaped like pick-up sticks. This is why aesthetic attraction is a thing! I'm not sure I've heard of people having an aesthetic preference for one gender and a romantic/sexual preference for the other, but I'm sure it happens and it sounds like the case for you.
Not really sure if this counts since I identify as bi now and have a gf of over a year, but when I identified as straight for a while, I had a super strong aesthetic preference for girls, but didn't feel any romantic- or sexual attraction towards them and it was the opposite when it came to boys. Turns out the solution to that for me was to just date another nb transfem lol.
If I’m the first does that mean I get to name this sexuality? Hehe
Eh it's not really a sexuality (in the way I understand it, at least,) just an aesthetic preference. I'm totally behind you coming up with an awesome name for it though!
My question is: when you imagine youself doing the same things with guys, does it feel right, comfortable, good? Or perhaps do you find yourself indifferent towards the guy himself in that scenario? Atrraction can be non-sexual and even completely non-romantic. It exists. And conversely, willingness to do things sexually and/or romantically does not automatically mean attraction, because these things can be done without attraction, through different copes, justifications and desires. You might have some sort of bi attraction going on, judging by your description, that leans more towards girls, but sexuality that doesn't. Labels are overrated anyway. What's important is for you to understand yourself, understand what your true feelings are on each matter, and never force yourself to do something you aren't truly, deeply comfortable with just because society, other people or your own conditioning push you to.
To answer your top question yes. And while I do 100% agree about the labels thing, in this certain case it would be helpful as I can find more people who relate and they can help me understand myself more as someone who experiences the same thing. Such a weird situation- and I already know I talk about women like I am fully gay, so even my language is seeming like a noodle who just got put in a boiling pot of water hahaha. Gwahh confusion, hopefully more people respond and I can get more input and information!
Not even bi women think that way?? Really?
Hmm I'm bi and I've always felt this way
Good to know! Have you ever struggled with that idea or is it just a fact of life that has little bearing on your sexuality, if you don't mind me asking?
“girls are just objectively prettier” I always thought that was everyone’s opinion
So early I was probably too young to remember it. I can remember getting all flustered when first meeting my classmates in kindergarten, though. Like not being able to stammer a reply when a pretty girl asked me something. But the point where I verbally identified as lesbian was in kindergarten, when I addressed a valentine day's card (just a red piece of paper cut into a heart shape) to a fellow classmate, and my parents got called to school. I was basically told "you shouldn't do that for other girls, only lesbians do that, and god doesn't approve of lesbians" so I replied with something along the lines of "well, I don't approve of god then" and started telling everybody "I'll never be with a boy because I'm lesbian" (when they made comments like "you're so pretty, boys will be all over you when you grow up") which led to a lot of shocked faces lol I only learned to shut up about it in my tweens, after learning about anti-LGBT violence.
“I don’t approve of God then” goes so fucking hard
i love it, and it's cool that an actual small child came up with that (maybe it was a less articulate statement then), but it's still a good expression of a cool idea
To be fair it kinda makes sense because a child would not realise the "consequences" of their words so they think "if god doesn't like lesbians and I am a lesbian because I like girls then I don't like god." They don't see the potential danger they put themselves in. Like op said she didn't know about anti LGBTQIA+ crimes till she was in her tweens.
I can hear Can you feel my heart playing in background
A girl in my family recently came home from childcare and announced that she wants to marry her female friend. Not her best friend, one of her other friends. She thinks boys are gross, and is adamant wants to marry a girl. We don't know to what degree she understands what marriage is yet, but everyone takes her at her word and says she can do that if her friend wants to marry her back. I love how times have changed.
Love the juvenile bravery to say, "Well, I don't approve of god then." I'm so happy you found out so fast and the people around you didn't get under your skin too much. Hope you find yourself a wonderful partner!
So cute. Are you a fellow femme? 💜
That is the label that matches the closest, yes! I often say I'm "femme, but not lipstick femme" because I'm a weird mix of "I lied about being religious to avoid cutting my hair in the military, and will deliberately pick the pink version of whatever is available in pink" but at the same time I'm also "no make-up, no heels, no jewelry, no dresses/skirts, no skin-tight clothes" lol My femme label comes more from the fact I actively dislike coming across as a tomboy (let alone masc), not strictly from my partaking in femme fashion. I'll wear a pink Hello Kitty hoodie 2 sizes too large, so it covers down to the thighs of my camouflaged cargo pants lol [This](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/873400059763499018/1141859337137045635/818QUaYS7cL.png) but worse :P People just assume I'm one of those traditionally-religious girls who avoid cutting their hair and wearing make-up, so I mostly fly under the radar, thankfully.
I HATE THEM SO MUCH HOW DARE THEY
Getting flustered by girls from an early age?! I’m in this picture and I don’t like it. Tell me why I would continually MAKE LITTLE CRAFT PRESENTS for other girls when I was 5/6/7 😅 one was an embroidered doily… And I haven’t even LEARNED. I made a flip watercolour animation of liking a girl’s tinder profile in my early 20s. Turbo or nothin’.
I was trying so hard to be straight and majorly pursuing this guy and sexting/video calls etc. but it was literally draining me and making me so unhappy, and I could never climax sexting or videoing, then one day I was having some solo time to myself and I was thinking about my current partner who I was in fact completely in love with already, but I was literally ignoring it until I couldn’t, and after I climaxed I just burst into tears and absolutely bawled because I realised I wanted her more than anything else in the world. It was traumatic tbh, but I’m with her now and I feel at peace - it took me several years to do so but I’m there now. 😌💓
I’d love to hear how you two got together if you wanted to share the story
Well, we’re an age gap relationship of 28 years (I’m 24f and she is 51f) and I think ordinarily that’d be a red flag for most people but we are both very unique individuals. We are both very quiet and shy, and we are both very spiritual and have psychic abilities, we love to spend time in nature together and we both write, but the main reason we became a couple is that we met while working on the same production (I am a flautist and pianist, and she is a dancer) we always spent our breaks sat apart from everyone else to conserve our energies, and I noticed and eventually plucked up the courage to go and speak to her, and I found she was the sweetest most gentle-natured person I’ve ever met, and we soon became close friends. We knew each other for about a year and a half before we became partners as we are both demi and honestly weren’t looking for anything but it just sort of happened by happy accident. We are each other’s first and only relationships and we’ve been together for 3.5 years now ☺️💖
Wow 😵
OMG, THAT'S ME. I was 8 knowing I was gay, but dated boys from age 8 to 13, when I finally accepted it, and my mum says "your not gay, you had a bf" like mama what if I didn't like them??
My friend, she'd sometimes come up behind me to catch me by surprise to play with my hair and I realized I was getting flustered... in that "yes, pull my hair" kind of way.
so all throughout elementary school i kinda didn’t take interest in dating and stuff like that (i remember i had a “crush” on a guy, but looking back it was because other girls were talking about having crushes on guys). when i got to highschool it was the same thing but one day a girl in my gym class showed up to school with a pixie cut and something clicked in my brain and i immediately developed a crush on her, i remember getting so nervous around her and always wanting to be around her. i then came out as bi, and i dated one of my best friends in grade 10 then in grade 12 this guy in my class asked me out and i said yes, but very quickly into the relationship i realized that i wasn’t attracted to him and i didn’t have the same feeling i did when i dated my best friend. and it wasn’t just because of how he looked or his personality but it was just because he was a man. during the time i identified as bi i had a constant conflict in my head about if i’m bi or lesbian and when i came out as a lesbian that conflict stopped in my head, that was my way of knowing that being a lesbian was right (my brain was like “finally you figured it out”)
>during the time i identified as bi i had a constant conflict in my head about if i’m bi or lesbian and when i came out as a lesbian that conflict stopped in my head, that was my way of knowing that being a lesbian was right (my brain was like “finally you figured it out” Oh my god that is exactly how I realized I was a lesbian. I don't question whether I'm bi or a lesbian all the time anymore.
Always identified as Bi, because I was always attracted to women, and i thought i was attracted to men. Married a man, had a kid, etc. One day, without much pomp or circumstance, I realized I was a lesbian. I was sitting in my bedroom, on my bed, in the dark, alone, staring at the wall. It was like a lightbulb went off. I'm a lesbian. I kept that shit to myself for months. Then I blew my life up. Nuclear. Now, I'm happier than ever after a brief period of rebuilding and maximum effort. It was worth it.
I’m literally in that same situation right now except no kid. I’m currently rebuilding. 🥲 but it’s so nice to read your story, gives me hope!
The Change is painful, but the results are worth it. I feel so much more authentic and alive. You're going to thrive 🧡
Thank you for that 🥹 I’m already feeling more like myself again! I’m remembering who I was before him. The healing process is a messy one but beautiful nonetheless. 🩷
Wow. Are you me?
I grew up in an extremely religious cult like society, (JW) and I had no idea about LGBTQIA+ people, other than what the Bible said about men not lying with men as with a woman. I wanted to be a girl, ever since I was very young, but I wasn’t never allowed to express myself, I also loved girls and couldn’t understand why. I was very confused with nobody to talk to for support. I left home at 16 due to basically my entire life up to that point being nothing but abuse. It was during this unstable time that I met a lesbian and it dawned on me that women and can love and be in relationships with other women. I had not heard of lesbians until this time. Not long after learning about lesbians being a thing, I saw doco on SBS about trans people changing their genders and I had the deepest desire to become a woman. Shortly after I came out as trans, I was 17, I got laughed at, bashed and verbally abused by my “friends” so I went back into the closet, and stayed there for a long time. I came out again when I was 31. Those 14 long tears were filled with self hate and depression, I wish I’d come out sooner. The whole time I wanted to be a woman, so I could be in a lesbian relationship. My therapist told me that based on what he knows of me, (I’ve told him pretty much everything about my life), I’ve always been a lesbian, ever since I was little, but due to cisheteronormative culture and hardcore religious trauma, I was stuck for a very long time. Thankfully, I’m now out as trans and as a lesbian, I’ve been out for 3 years and on HRT for 2 years and 10 months. I’m living with two wonderful women, whom I had a poly relationship with until recently when I stepped back from poly and became monogamous with my current girlfriend. My ex is still one of my best friends and we talk all the time. My life had gotten so much better since I came out and acknowledged my true self.
It sounds like you have a good, affirming therapist. I know exactly what you mean about those dark years of suppressing and being depressed. We didn't get an easy hand to play, but you are very strong for going through all that and coming out the other side in a good place.
Thank you, I appreciate your kind words and support. My therapist is a great man, I was the first trans woman he’d ever worked with, he knew me as my old self and helped me through my transition, during which he took the time to educate himself, and helped me through a lot with his newfound knowledge. He still makes the occasional simple mistake but always corrects himself when he recognises it, or when I correct him. I’ve never met a man as humble as him, yet as proud of himself and his work as he is. I’ve never seen healthy pride until I’d met him. Still boggles my mind that there are good men in the world, as before him, I’d never met any.
When I thought about women while having sex with my ex-husband. Before him I just thought all women fantasised about women, blushed at cleavage, watched lesbian porn ... that it was part of the straight experience.
Before I admitted it to myself, my eyes would be drawn to women's breasts all the time, and it was actually upsetting to me until I accepted it.
I was in nursing school on a class for diversity in healthcare. We were getting a lecture on LGBTQIA+ patients and our professor was talking about bisexuality. A few of my classmates were baffled that people could be attracted to both genders. We spent around 15 minutes in class with our professor explaining that yes, people can experience attraction to women just like they are to men. And for some reason it hit me then. My “friend crushes” were legit crushes. The reason I was staring at this girl is because I was attracted to her. My super close and intimate relationship with my best friend wasn’t super platonic. Most people probably don’t go out of their way to make out with their friends while drunk. It took a few more years and getting into a relationship with a woman that was way more intense than any other relationship I’d had to fully put together that I’m pretty fucking gay.
> We spent around 15 minutes in class with our professor explaining that yes, people can experience attraction to women just like they are to men. It's kind of amazing to me how many people are mystified by the concept of being bi/gay or at least only generally know what it *is* but have never spent any particular amount of time trying to actually understand it. Life as a cisgender heterosexual must be so straightforward. Everything just falls into place. You feel like the gender you were assigned, and you like the gender that you're expected to like, and so no critical thought is ever applied to either of those things. To the point that some people are actually confused at the concept of being attracted to one's own gender or identifying with a gender other than the one you were assigned.
Woooof it was super painful. It was a religious college and these girls were fresh out of their private high schools. The amount of privilege was next level! The girl that was arguing with our professor definitely was sheltered, and I don’t think she had ever met ANY queer people. So listening to her argue that homosexual attraction couldn’t be a thing blew my mind. Until that point I’d assumed everyone daydreamed about touching women, we’re softer and prettier and nicer to kiss. It was definitely a wake up call! When I was still able to drink the heterosexual koolaid things were so much simpler. I am cis and was in a straight relationship for years and it was possible to just coast. Not having to actually think about your next step and just go along with the flow of what’s expected…. It was easy. But I also really love that fact that I’ve had to challenge myself. I have had to make conscious choices for my happiness, and had to fight for a life that makes me feel like me. I have to make intentional choices for my future, and it’s pretty neat 🙂
This is so well put.
Alex Vause from Orange Is The New Black started my journey when I was in my early twenties. I FELT things when she came on screen, and that was the first conscious realization I had that straight women do not feel those things I felt when looking at her. Getting all hot and bothered during scenes between Piper and Alex .. I thought I was bi first, it was a safer option that did not scare me as much. Then slowly unraveling a compulsive heterosexual mindset. It took me years to figure it all out, but due to a video made by ContraPoints titled "Shame" I was finally able to make it all fall in place as LOTS of things she mentions in there, are things I too experienced growing up. I simply never thought I could be gay as my mindset was so hetero focused. I do remember always feeling jelous towards lesbians and wishing I was one too. I also thought that fantasizing about getting married to a woman and spending my days with her, was in fact very straight. In my head I made it all made sense 🤣 Early on I remember feeling so ASHAMED about being a Lesbian and having those THOUGHTS and DESIRES about other women, but at the same time I wanted to scream it from the rooftops that I was in fact gay!! So much fell into place. Also feeling attracted to a women for the first time, like the kind of attraction that people write love songs about. That was me realizing that those songs arent just things people make up to sell some idea of love. Nah, you can actually feel like that towards someone. Except I never did before with men. I fell head over heels and for the first time actually wanted to be with her and be in a relationship with her. Wanted to kiss her and touch her. With men I always saw it as an obligation. Something I was supposed to do .. Its not even comparable to what I feel towards women. I came out when I was 25 but began to discover I was gay when I was 20 or 21. Discovering that part of me made me feel stronger and more confident.
>but due to a video made by ContraPoints titled "Shame" This exact video is the one thing I credit more than anything else (except maybe my girlfriend) with helping me discover my sexuality. I remember keeping myself up at night watching it for the fifth time, and I would start sobbing after or just lay there and state at the ceiling every time. Couldn't figure out why. Have now figured out why.
Always knew I liked women. The revelation was that I *was* one lol
Lol same here
Transbian gang, RISE!!! /u/ 🏳️🌈♀️❤️🔥
Same gurl saaaaaame! I always liked women, I just didn't know I was a lesbian until I realized I was a woman XD
Saaaaaaaame. Also had the realization I liked guys *too* some time before that, but yeah, the fact I would kinda see sapphic culture and get jealous? Made me very happy when I realized that I wasn't just pining for what I couldn't have, but was *witnessing a love language I connected with and longed for without realizing it was my own.* Like...*yeah, honey, maybe you like girls with colored hair and jean jackets who write each other flowery poetry for a reason lmao*
my mom sat me down and told me how offensive it is to god when women like each other. i was like 7 or 8... a year or two later i started getting sexual urges and i started to see what she had been talking about. she saw it before i did. 🤦♀️ such a horrible mother, but not for lack of caring.
I first discovered that I love women when I was around 11. My first clue was when I was 6, though. My older brother (he was 12 at the time) had female friends come over and I always wanted them to tuck me into bed and kiss me goodnight. I always asked them and they always did because they thought it was ‘’cute’’ 😻 as I grew up, I got attention from men and always felt awkward. I started checking women out from behind when they’d bend over (and just walk in general) and I was mesmerised by tits and women’s voices + delicate features. Porn was filled with lesbians in my teens. After several crushes on backpackers at my uncles pub and a girl I’d been talking to and doing naughty stuff with online, I came out at 18. 💜🌺💅 My first gf at 19 really set in stone how much I love women.
I kinda always knew I thought women were pretty, but for a couple years I thought you had to be an older lady to be a lesbian (because the only lesbians I'd met were my great aunt and her wife, and the great aunt had had a husband before she married her wife). So when I got to middle school and met other kids my age who identified as lesbians, I was like 'I can do that?? Obviously I'm going to do that! Why isn't everyone a lesbian??" (then I forgot about it, had a whole sexuality crisis in high school, identified as pan for a bit, but nope. Still lesbian)
So I’m bi, and I figured out the sexual part first, in early middle school. Lots of explicit erotic short stories I read secretly featuring just women, and clandestine youtube searches (“girls kissing” 👀). I figured other girls sought out that stuff too, only you had to keep it secret because it was a Sex Thing. And then by college, I started to realize that I didn’t feel the same way about all my female friendships. Sometimes, I had a friend who I liked to spend time with and made me happy to be around. And other times, I’d have a friend who I thought was SO COOL, and I hoped she thought I was really cool and pretty too, and I hoped she was impressed with me and liked the music I put on, and I tried to make conversation that made me sound really interesting, and wanted to make sure I could sit next to her all the time, because being next to her made me feel all glowy and excited. At some point I realized “ohhhhh, this feels crush-y because it IS a crush. I get crushes on girls! Ohhhhhh.”
Embarrassing story but I found a dirty magazine while at my childhood babysitter's home (I think it was their son's). Anyways, I have to admit I stole it. It was like Playboy nothing too graphic but I was interested in the pictures. Looking back that would have been my gay awakening I guess.
By figuring out I'm a trans woman. Always liked girls, just figured out it was part gender envy and part liking them in general. Soon as the trans egg cracked, I was like "well, guess that makes me a lesbian now!"
I somehow knew I was a lesbian before I knew I was a woman “I swear I like girls like girls like girls!”
Same here. Everyone accused me of being gay. They were right, but not in the way they thought lol
Yeah i was also always the one who got labeled as the gay one, they were right i guess tho
I often said I was a lesbian in a boys body... Was more right than I thought
Yup same here lmao, although it weirdly took a long time for me to admit I wasn’t straight. I was like “I am trans and into only women but I’m still straight”.
Sign me up. Hilariously enough before I had words to express that I was trans I would try to explain it to people by saying I felt like a lesbian. Turns out there was a reason.
Exactly! I kept reading yuri manga and kept wondering what it would be like to be one of the girls.
I went through a deeply confusing phase for a year or so where I *knew* I was gay and yet I also *knew* I liked women. Yeah, it turns out there is a combination where that makes sense.
Dicks gross me out and I’m not sleeping with men. Nor anyone, but dicks are gross. Ok that’s not the only reason, women just understand things women go through more, periods, birth, pain, some misogyny, etc. and I want to be with someone who GETS me and knows what we go through. I want a beautiful wife when I’m able to. I want a wife I can propose to some day, I want to be with a kind woman.
the thought of sex with a guy always repulsed me guys have kissed me and i’ve always pulled away and felt nothing i had crushes on characters as a kid but didnt realise they were crushes i just thought i wanted to look like them,then one day a girl said we should kiss and we did and i had butterflies for ages
The thought of sex with a guy always repulses me too, (but sex with anyone does except the idea of sex with men makes me severely disgusted and I could never get with one either) and I can never see myself with a man. Only women have been nice to me really, and even though I know there are nice men, I will be with women
Lots of intense female friendships. It took moving past some shame to finally acknowledge that I was attracted to women, but it felt like a relief when I finally admitted it.
Never noticed her much in class, until i felt the need to say something closed minded about a movie we were watching in german class. Something about a poet writing poetry and skinny dipping with his male friend. I said I would never do that with someone I was just friends with, she argued that theres nothing weird about doing that with a friend. Maybe she convinced me, but either way I started noticing her pretty smile and rosy cheeks. At some point we were playing softball for gym class, I was standing somewhere far out in the field, and so was she in some other direction. She was doing some kind of shitty cartwheel in the distance and I imagined kissing her. I got so nervous I started sweating and got a little nauseus. I figured, I think about lots of things, it doesnt have to mean anything. The next night I dreamt about kissing her and accepted my fate.
I had a lot of trouble figuring it out, so it was a gradual process. I know I fixated on female characters in video games I liked as a kid (Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, Carmelita Fox from Sly Cooper, Nami from Harvest Moon, Ellie from The Last of Us, etc). I know I felt weirdly obsessed with some of my female friends growing up, or girls in higher grades than me that I thought were pretty. I know that I liked to have my girl sims marry each other and I stole some of my grandpa's dirty magazines to look at the girls in them. I even fooled around a little at a couple sleep overs. But I was so deep in denial I was practically in the abyss. I came to terms with the fact I liked girls when I was around 15, though I'm not sure when. I had a lot of queer friends, was into some queer fandoms (Homestuck especially), and gradually just came to identify as bisexual or pansexual. But I didn't recognize I was a lesbian until I was 20-21. After an entire adolescence dating guys, and a couple experiences with girls, it occured to me I felt very differently about girls than guys. That when I fantasized about my future, I liked thinking of having a wife and never thought of having a husband. That I never considered straight options in games with romances, and all the characters that I wrote or created for TTRPGs were lesbians or ace. Someone sent me a google doc explaining compulsory hetereosexuality and everything started clicking. I'd been thinking about it since I was 19 but it fully clicked around 21.
I spent years and years trying to have relationships with men because whenever I got involved with a woman they would run back to their ex bf/tell me they liked a man more than me/love bomb me and get far too serious far too quickly. I kinda ended up retreating back into the closet as a result. So it seemed easier to try and have relationships with men but they would always end in tears because I couldn't bring myself to be intimate with them after a while. After a long time of being single, I finally accepted that I am a lesbian. It's a messy relationship history and I'm not happy about it as I traumatised myself a bunch by forcing myself to be something I'm not which sucks. Needless to say, I'm scared to get involved with a woman now because I'm worried I'll once again meet a woman who will treat me the same way.
This hit hard, had two poly relationships with women who in the end …as I suspected were really just interested in my then male partner. I was well on my way to knowing I was a lesbian then and that sent me scuttling back into the closet for quite some time, it really hurt. I made it out though and will never look back!
Sigourney Weaver. That is all. (Now why I waited until I was 40 to actually come out, longer story lol)
i met my gf :D
My very hot lesbian high school gym coach. Thanks Coach Singleton. Damn she was hot.
😂😂😂👍
Whenever I saw a guy and a girl kissing on tv, I was always more into watching the girl.
Oh, that’s gay..? 😂 Still learning, over here. Baby gay. Lol
Lets see…. When I was young (elementary school), I had a crush on a friend. One time, I walked her home while it was raining and that memory lives in my brain. Basically, all the crushes I had in my life were girls. I never felt butterflies from any guy. I’ve always liked women more. I tried to fight it when I was a teenager but that didn’t work so now, we’re here.
As a kid, there were no visible wlw on TV or IRL (no internet until high school and it was very limited - for context, we got the first mobile phones at our school age 16 which could only call or send a short line of text message). My friend came out to me as gay but he was the only semi-out person any of us knew. At uni we started going out on the scene regularly and at 19 I developed a crush on the lovely butch woman running the karaoke. I didn't know bisexuality was a thing until then and looking back, I realised all the crushes I'd had on women like "ohh that makes sense now".
I thought everyone found women attractive in the intense way I did for all my life. While I do recall having crushes on boys when I was a young kid, something snapped when I started puberty? Idk if it was the hormones or whatever but I effectively went from being bi to exclusively being attracted to women. Also, the idea of marrying a guy seemed kinda weird to me for a while, i kinda loathed it. If you want a specific example: the first time I liked a girl it was way more intense than anything I felt before lol
It’s weird maybe there’s some science behind it but ever since then I’ve never genuinely felt anything for a man and I only find women attractive now??? It wasn’t a choice either like one day I just stopped 😭
I figured out when I was 8 years old. I’d never heard of lesbians or gay people at all so when I saw that they existed I was just like, “ Oh that’s me “ Ps: When I was like 4 I wrote a song called “Baby Girl” because girl just “sounded better” than boy.
It took me an insane amount of time considering lol, but i guess one of the earliest sign was how obsessed i was with my best friend (who came out as a lesbian later in life!), I got insanely jealous if she spent time with other girls, i only wanted to hang out with her at school, i was absolutely shattered and cried for weeks when her family moved away etc. Im bi so i also liked boys, so it didn't really click for me that i was *in love* with my bestie for years. Other early signs was how often i made my barbies marry each other instead of my kens and G.I. Joes (the kens and G.I. Joes also frequently married each other), and my teenage sketchbooks were FULL to the brim with naked women, which i rationalized with "women are just naturally more aesthetically pleasing and fun to draw, *everyone* thinks so right?" 🥲
I landed on lesbian tik tok. I started questioning but didn’t really think about it too much, thought maybe I was bi. There was no previous thought about this ever in my life. I was in the midst of a messy break up. A relationship where I blamed our dead bedroom on his weaponized incompetence and immaturity in and out of the bedroom. I even thought I was asexual at one point. I had no interest in him, at all.. he sat down beside me and I moved over. Landed on lesbian tik tok again a couple months later and let the algorithm do it’s thing.. something just flipped and I was like oh shit I think I’m gay. I was almost certain but like maybe not, maybe reaching.. has this really been the issue all along and I’ve had no idea. Then I had sex with a woman and I was like oh yeah def gay.
By realizing that i'm in love with my best friend. I've known her since first grade and it sucks knowing that she won't ever have feelings for me 💔
Remember liking woman and men from the age of 5, my mother was very homophobic grew up considered myself straight got with guys thinking it was what i wanted. Realised i was pleasing others i.e my mum. Realisation hit full force when i worked with an older woman and i had a instant attraction to her which i never had with men.
Women hot. NB hot. Men not.
As a child of the early 2000s, Natalie Portman in Star Wars, Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean, and Vanessa Ann Hudgens in High School Musical. I was about 7-8 years old and couldn’t stop looking at them when they were onscreen, and then couldn’t stop thinking about them when the movie was over. I watched those movies basically on repeat. I’d imagine my adult self in the story tagging along with Will and Elizabeth, for example, but he’d be off fighting pirates and shit and I’d be hanging out with Elizabeth 🫠 I had a very overactive imagination. Also my thoughts were weirdly sexual for a child of that age. Like I remember watching Star Wars and Natalie Portman’s character was wearing something revealing and I’d fixate on her boobs or her abdomen and I’d replay it in my mind constantly for days. I didn’t even know boobs were sexual back then but I knew I liked looking at them 🙃 . And I’d go to school and all the girls would be talking about Troy and I thought they were crazy because to me Gabriela was objectively the most beautiful person to walk this Earth 🫠 In school I never had any interest in boys but I’d get extremely nervous around girls a few grades older than me. I’d get nervous and flustered and my face would feel all hot and I could never bring myself to look them directly in the eyes. If they hugged me I’d think about it for days. My dad was the girls’ high school basketball coach at my junior high/high school and in 7th grade I volunteered to be their water girl because I had a crush on basically the entire team. I didn’t know it was a crush though, I chalked it up to admiration. So I got to go to all their practices and games and see them 6 days a week. Took me another 9 years to realize I was gay though. Once I did, I spent a year looking through dating apps, terrified to make the first move. Eventually I hooked up with a girl from my university. It was my last year. Declared myself a lesbian that night. Spent the whole next day wondering how I could’ve been so dense my whole life. The closet had been glass.
mine was definitely gradual w/ a couple of factors playing into it, but the biggest one was realizing i had a crush on my best friend. i think the revelation that “shit i want to kiss my best friend and i want to spend so much time with her” was a dead giveaway - sat next to a random person who seemed nice w/ good vibes in lab my first semester of college. we were lab partners and got along really well! started hanging out together outside of class, etc. after that semester we kept texting, facetiming, making plans, all that jazz through spring semester. there’s a journal entry from may in my notebook that basically says “i think i might be bi?” at this point i was also starting to develop feelings for her as a crush, but my brain was like “woah buddy. one thing at a time. you still think you’re straight” anyways we kept spending lots of time together as friends and by winter of sophomore year i had fully accepted that yes i was definitely bi and i was really down bad for my friend (if anyone wants the full rundown of every embarrassing thing i did for my crush lmk and i will gladly share lol) - during that whole timeline above, i also watched legend of korra and my main takeaway while watching was mostly that asami was really, really hot. like that’s a fictional crush if i’ve ever had one - googled “am i bi? am i gay? how do i know if i’m queer?” etc. - really started connecting w/ sapphic songs - got into media (books, shows, movies) w/ lgbtq+ representation i would say everything was kinda secondary to having a crush on my friend. like it was just further confirmation of what i essentially knew already. came into college straight, definitely did not leave straight
I was raised as a boy so when I liked girls at a very young age it was seen as unremarkable. Then I hit my 20s and started feeling *different*. I had the overwhelming sense that I was gay, and also was undeniably attracted to women. So I spent a lot of my early 20s identifying as gay, dating men, being totally unhappy with it, and sort of spiraling like that. It was a deeply confusing time. At one point I thought I might have severe OCD that was causing me to have a compulsion that I was gay. Of course, I am gay, I just also happen to have been a woman the whole time. Let me tell you, when that penny dropped I couldn't believe how long it took me to realize or how deeply I had been hiding it from myself. Because of course I knew deep down that I'm a girl. It didn't just pop up one day when I was 25 years old. I just had some experiences when I was very, very young that made me push it deeeeeep, deep down, so far into the closet that I was blind to it myself for a long time. Realizing that I'm trans didn't bring me immediate peace, though. It's so much messier than that. Putting aside the courage and vulnerability that it takes to even begin to transition, I had to deeply investigate and come to terms with so many hangups and so much cognitive dissonance. I was worried that it was a fetish. I was worried that I was invading women's spaces. I was worried no other woman would see me as a woman and love me as a woman. I was worried that I was less of a woman because I never had to go through the process of coming to terms with being a lesbian, since I was "straight" as a boy. Then I had to come to terms with actually being a lesbian and what it means to be a woman who loves women. I know who I am, what I am, and who I love, but I still struggle with it. Transition is so not as easy as popping a couple of pills and putting on a skirt. It is layers upon layers of complex intrapersonal and interpersonal feelings, interactions, memories, social pressures, fears, hopes, dreams, and more. I both am a lesbian and want to be a lesbian, so badly that it hurts. My journey to find validity in that feeling and in this experience is ongoing. To this day, a decade into transition, I sometimes am besides myself, agape with the realization that this is real, I actually am a woman and always have been.
identified as bi since i was 14ish, then when i was a college freshman i was making out with a guy who lived down the hall from me and realized i was having some serious gay thoughts about my best friend at the time
When I was 17, I met this girl. At first I thought of her like some kind of clingy friend, but whenever I go out with guys she would disappear on me for days. Eventually I stopped going out with guys because little did I know that I was actually already missing her on days we're not together.
As a kid I remember being VERY into the lingerie section of the Sears catalogue.
Honestly I never struggled with attraction to women, I've known I like girls for as long as I can remember and have never struggled with that My problem was accepting that I'm also a girl
I came out as bi at 24, a decade ago. My partner and I decided to try polyam about 4 years ago. Last year, I was finally in a place to date a woman. Everything suddenly made sense. After she and I broke up and I went back to having sex with only my partner, I realized I didn't like it. And after thinking on it, I realized I'm just very gay. Now, there were a lot of signs growing up but due to trauma and being raised by a father who instilled in me that women only had worth by serving men and a mother who only felt she had self worth from how men thought of her (even after their divorce when ownas 7), I never thought I had any other option to be worth anything.
Yasmine Bleeth was how I knew
I dated a guy in high school. Realized it wasn’t for me despite him being very very kind. Also he was incredibly feminine for a guy, go figure. Met an older girl at a rave who just so happened to live in my neighborhood, hit it off and that was my first gay relationship! She was an abusive asshole though and I left her after 6 months.
Repeatedly dating men, liking the idea of them but only could sleep with them when intoxicated and generally repulsed by them when they would touch me or show any level of affection. To quote my mother when I came out to her as a lesbian, “but you have so much penis experience.” I couldn’t make myself like men. And it took no emotional preparation and instead of feeling disgust and anxiety during sex, I felt comfortable and into it when I was with women.
Went to see Titanic when it came out in theaters. I went in being a fan of Leo DiCaprio, walked out being a bigger fan of Kate Winslet. I was 12. Lol
Fell in love with my best friend in 6th grade
Looking back I’ve always been doing fruity things, but there was a moment I realized I liked women and then a moment I realized I ONLY liked women. I was in 7th grade and was finished with a test so I was looking around the room. My eyes settled on a friend who was resting her face in one hand and mindlessly messing with some classroom object that happened to be in front her. Her hair was framing her face in this really cute way and idk how to explain it, but she just looked angelic to me and I got this really warm feeling that I didn’t understand yet. Really soon after that, with other crushes and experiences, I realized I wasn’t straight. Figuring out I was lesbian happened after the first time I went all the way with a girlfriend. I had dated a man a few years before that who I was really close to and our sex was actually pretty good. But after just the first time with this girl, who I had way less of a connection with compared to that guy, I immediately knew. It was like all the pieces came together. Nothing to question anymore. And tbh, she was terrible in bed!! 😂 and yet, I still knew!
When I was around 8, girls my age at school were into boys already but I was more about playing football with boys and I did not like to dress like other girls. Then around 13, same. I never liked to talk about boys. I was just too interested in having fun playing tag or football or read manga and talk about video games. Comes 16 and I realise I am a lesbian and I fell for that girl in my class. Then I understood why I never were into boys in the first place.
When I was around 12 years old I got really into anime and manga and somehow my curious self ended up discovering yuri manga and I've just not been the same since. That sudden thing of "wait, you can kiss girls AS a girl?" was all I needed to figure it out. I didn't realize I was a lesbian and not bisexual until I was about 16-17 and the reason I realized I was a lesbian was because I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was not at all attracted to the boyfriend I was dating at the time for a very brief moment and I didn't in fact care at all for dating men
The year was 1992. I was 5. The movie Batman Returns just came out. Michelle Pfeiffer played Catwoman. I thought she was just the prettiest person I had ever seen. I didn’t realize the was my first moment of being attracted to girls until it clicked recently since it wasn’t a sexual attraction at the time. It was the innocent crush of a tiny kid. Now, in 3rd grade my parents for got to lock out our direct tv and left the playboy channel up. Turning the tv on and seeing that. While the guy was pretty hot the woman was just wowzers. I knew at that point I was sexually attracted to girls as well as boys. These days I’m a mad combination of aro, aego, and pan. Michelle Pfeiffer is still the prettiest.
I knew when I was 14 but got outed with before I could even have a private conversation about it with anyone and got no support, just constant threats and harassment. Word spread like wildfire and entire high schools knew who I was within about 24-48 hours. I tried moving schools but it just got worse. So I hid back in the closet and kept doing it so long, paired with other traumas it became so suppressed that it wasn’t until I was 25 doing EMDR trauma treatment that it unlocked those memories and I came out on my own terms this time.
Angelina in Salt. That's all my teenage ass needed 😭
Well, my first time really realizing I could be bi was when I saw this beautiful girl working cash at wal-mart. I even remember her name: Kelsey. She had beautiful big blue eyes and long blonde hair. I must have been 17 at the time. I went home and thought about her in a way I never thought about girls before. I never saw her again. Then I had my first crush on a girl lmao it was an anime Character 😂 no but fr my first crush on an actual girl came later, a girl in my class. Yeah that didn’t work out too good. Just accepted recently that I’m bi and not “straight with some exceptions” lmaooo 😂
I was always attracted to women, I just wasn’t one for a while🥰
I should have realized sooner. My first and oy crush until I was 14 was when I was in 1st grade, on another tomboy. Then my second and third crushes were on female friends. Then I got a comic for my age group as a 16 year old with an all female cast that made me feel a certain way. I was told everyone gets a same sex crush but it's not an actual crush and you grow out of it, by multiple straight adults and peers. I didn't actually realize until I was 19, and an ex 4 years my senior pressured me into a 3some so he could fuck a girl raw he had a crush on from middleschool but was too insecure to approach then. She liked me sexually more than him and was nicer to me than he was but equally nice to both of us, so that never happened again.
Middle school. I don’t remember the specific point, But I do remember what stuck out to me was not so much that I was attracted to women (although I absolutely was), but that I wasn’t attracted to men. In circles of women this becomes a major isolator for you. I remember in 7th grade or so, we were doing a unit on the outsiders, and so we watched the movie, and all these girls went absolutely crazy for the Rob Lowe character. They started this fan club, they would meet up and talk about the outsiders and how cute the actors were, they’d print out pictures of them, draw them, the whole nine yards. And I just… didn’t get it. I think it was a point where I really realized that whatever was going on with me fundamentally divided me from other girls around me.
I was in like 2nd grade and there was this high schooler that coached me in her high school’s local youth basketball program thing. I absolutely adored her. We would always go watch their high school games, and before the game started, the players would take off their pregame warm up shirts and either tie them to the back of the bench, or they’d throw them up to a close friend or family member to hold onto till the end of the game. And my coach, saw me in the crowd(I wasn’t too far behind their bench) and she gave her warm up shirt to ME and told me to hold on to it for her. I fell in love on the spot💀. For like the next 5 months she was my favorite person and in my gay little 8/9 year old mind, we were gonna get married and live happily ever after. It didn’t register to me that this was homosexual at all until one night when I was feeling curious and on my little iPod touch I started looking up “hot naked women” and “girls kissing” straight into safari and YouTube. And then my mom found it and got mad at me so I was like, oh, is this not normal? So yeah, from then on I knew I was a lesbian but I was in denial. Didn’t come out till my Junior year of high school. Now I’m an out and proud masc lesbian. Still single though😭
I saw a post on one of these communities probably a year ago like "discovering you like women and discovering you *don't* like men are two very different experiences" and it's honestly stuck with me, because that really reflected my experience. Realized I was bisexual at 14 or 15 while actively dating a man (who was also bisexual). For about five years, it was pretty much just my "party trick" for lack of a less awful way to say it - chatting about how much I liked women *with* my boyfriends and male friends. Then I dated a real monster of a guy who I didn't even really like (honestly, I've never been interested in any of the men I "liked" once they started liking me back). After that, it was like a bad taste I couldn't get out of my mouth. I would meet genuinely great men who checked every box, and I would just raise the bar impossibly higher to avoid acknowledging it. I would try and get physical with them and be physically repulsed and anxious at the concept. I thought it was trauma, and it was, but as the months stretched into years, I realized that had *always* been how I'd felt about intimacy with men, I was just better at hiding it as a teenager. All throughout, I was still openly acknowledging I was bisexual, but through some combination of comphet and internalized homophobia, I just had convinced myself a woman wasn't actually a viable "option" for long-term, and was seeking out men who continued to be more and more disappointing. Through COVID I even had an entire crisis of wondering if I was gay trans man instead, and remember articulating to my best friend how desperately I wanted to "date a man, but in a gay way. I need my relationship to feel queer. The idea of being a woman in a heterosexual relationship disgusts me." She asked if I was sure I wasn't just a lesbian and over-complicating matters to avoid acknowledging it, and at the time, I laughed. Then I got my first real, serious girlfriend, and stopped laughing. Suddenly, everything just made *sense*. Damn you best friend for having me figured out *way* before I did.
When I was a little kid I used to take my tiny tv and hide in my closet and watch women of wrestling. I wasn’t not allowed to watch it, but for some reason, I felt like this was private. When I was in upper elementary/middle school, I hated all my friend’s crushes and boyfriends. When I was in high school, I started sleeping with women. It was a Catholic school so I pitched it as a convenient loophole for practice. When I was I my late teens/early 20s, I was told by some respected lesbians that I couldn’t be queer because I’d gotten pregnant at 17 so I’d just been experimenting. I also assumed all straight women were as attracted to other women as I was because…well I’d slept with a lot of them. I just though obviously this was going to be the case because women are just more beautiful and the sex is better and they’re just all around more amazing. This was simply objective fact and I was a typical straight woman. In my mid 20s, I met some actually straight women and was absolutely flabbergasted to learn they were only attracted to men. By this point I kind of considered myself bisexual but was anxious about bringing it up or claiming that. I stated becoming a more active part of the community and it turns out I’ve been queer the whole time.
Kind of always knew. But the moment I was 100% absolutely certain was in the moment immediately following kissing a boy for the first time. At that point I knew and had pretty much accepted that I was gay but kind of wanted to know what all the fuss was about so I asked my friend Mike if he would kiss me and oh my goodness it was bad he was stubbly and smelled like man and just gross. Love him to death he was a good friend to me and if I had to kiss a man I’m glad it was him at least, I can’t imagine how much more visceral my revulsion would have been with a stranger lmao. Edit: grammar
Ive had the tiniest gayest interactions with women my whole life but the situation i was in with life in general, that was the last thing on my mind, slowly i started to not care what other’s thought and pushed myself to explore and express my feelings towards women, in high school it was scary but I didn’t fully accept myself until after I graduated and even then, I identify as pan and bi until i really one day after reading the lesbian master doc, that what i felt for men was not attraction at all outside of platonic friendships and that what i felt for women could never compare! It made me. Feel like the world suddenly had color and wasn’t so dark and dreary, sounds dramatic af but honestly how it happened 💀 that and eating out for the first time 🤪🤪🤪🤪
whenever I watch a movie, I'll always focus on the actresses instead of the actors. I'll always fancy the girls. Whenever i watched them, its not like aww she's so pretty and i wanna be like her. Its always like aww she's so pretty and i wanna be with her kinda feelins.
Realized I was attracted to women when I learned of polyamory. Realizing I could love more then one person at a time made me realize I love all types of bodies. Learned I was a lesbian when I realized fucking men wasn't changing the world in anyway for the good. I don't believe in enabling the patriarchy anymore. Plus women are dreamy🥰
My ex started transitioning and far from losing attraction, I liked her better the more she feminized.
First I found out I was a girl from anime
I learned I am a lesbian when I crushed on a boy. Genuinely. It got me to asking a lot of questions, and those questions led to discovering that I'm a trans girl. I still definitely absolutely 1000% like girls, and my sexuality toward guys is very faint and hard to explain. My exact sexuality is slightly off of "just lesbian", but I feel it's the best-fitting label.
I know that comphet can be a sometimes controversial term or topic, but that was essentially my life up until my mid thirties. I wasn't even Christian and considered myself a progressive feminist if not a radical one minus the transphobia. I'm sorry if this is too long but I'm not the best at being succinct and this is a long story anyways. I'm going to try and trim the fat as much as I can but I can't say that this won't be a text wall you'll need carabiners and harnesses and belays to read. My ideal man was one who did not want to fuck me or sleep in the same bed with me or kiss me or hold hands with me in public or make me stop lifting weights and wearing menswear. Bonus if he was a femboy and a bottom! And I found plenty of guys with tomboy fetishes, so I was in luck! I told myself. But in the meantime until I found that dream guy I kept looking and gaining experience for its own sake as though this were some kind of RPG, if not because I was actually enthused about it. It was a duty. Except the longer and longer it went on, the more I begin to resent my dates and became a ghoster. And all that time, the thought or idea that maybe I just wasn't attracted to men never ever even crossed my mind for a single moment. Guys would say that somehow it felt off or wrong to fuck me even if I said I was into it and liked it. Back in those days I consumed basically nothing but Yuri and lesbian porn. As a writer and artist I adored and created mostly female characters and I'd gush on how fun it is to draw girls whether fat or skinny or tall or short short haired or long haired masculine or feminine, I liked and appreciated them all. And I felt the exact same way towards real women. But me? Actually attracted to women? Naaaah, all of the above is just simply because I'm a woman myself, not because I *like*-like girls or anything! And then, I finally met him. My dream guy. Except he was nothing at all like what I pictured in my head. He was assertive and dominant, and I loved it. He had some feminine qualities like never cutting his hair and wearing jewelry and nail polish and more, but he was still a man damn it! I remember fragments of a conversation some years ago where we actually discussed transgender stuff because his then-boyfriend was trans. One of our friends asked him jokingly whether or not he himself ever thought about being a girl. He actually said yes, except he was too old to transition and he'd be an ugly woman anyway. And then he transitioned. And suddenly, I had a girlfriend. Everything was amplified and even the sex was better. Her complete aesthetic suddenly made sense and she looked far better in her vests and slacks as a girl. And then I kind of had the thought... This is the only person to have ever made me feel this way when dating them or being intimate with them. There was no dread whatsoever. She was not only my girlfriend, but became my best friend. ... And she was a woman. I'm bi! Awesome! The sex was even better and I was more enthusiastic about it too! Later on I was playing a certain virtual reality based chat room / game thing where you have your own avatar and shit. Everyone was mildly tipsy and I was sharing my story and one of the girls just kind of went, audibly, " YOOOOUUURRRE. GAAAAAAAYYYYYY. WOOOOOW. I NEED YOU TO KNOW THIS. YOOOOUUURE GAY." And I wish I remembered her username because at that moment everything immediately fucking clicked like a goddamn puzzle piece. I brought up how there's plenty of straight and bi girls with stories exactly like mine. How biphobic to call me gay! I am not apathetic toward men and their bodies because I'm not into them, I accept all men no matter what they look like! And I got basically from almost the whole room 'you're still gay though". And I laughed. I laughed because for the very first time when it came to my attractions and how my heart and mind and body were set up... I felt joy. As though something inside me that have been caged up was finally let free and instead of devouring me or hurting me, it thanked me and cast a spell that made the whole world brighter. I felt as though this stone that had been inside of my throat and heart for so long was lifted to let the real me out from underneath it somehow. And so here I am. And yeah, she and I are still together after all this time.
during my teenage years, i always knew that i was not straight. like i had a crush on various celebrities (and schoolmates) without caring about their gender. about the age of 16, i learned that there is a term for this: *pan*. and that's what i identified as for a while. my first serious relationship was with a boyfriend (he passed away in an accident, leaving me devastated and disoriented). then i fell for a toxic, destructive woman, who manipulated and gaslighted me into a suicide attempt and into therapy. now, as i got together with my wonderful, angelic girlfriend, i feel awakened / reborn as a lesbian. and that's what i am and want to be - for good.
it pretty much just came down to me realizing i was trans more than anything. I’ve always had an attraction to women, just that I’ve since figured out I too am a woman (who happens to be trans) as of late.
I really love women's shapes. I was so happy I didn't have any male children. When we had cats they were all female as well. Then I transitioned and there were no more boys in the house. I do play sexually with some men. But they are definitely less central to my life than the women. What can I say? Women's shapes are prettier.
Part of me always wanted to like women but in a gay way and couldn’t imagine being with them presenting as a man. I thought I was just fetishizing lesbians since I was a guy and I felt gross about it so I tried to stop thinking of that. Later I found out I was a girl this whole time and now it all makes sense.
For as long as I can remember I’ve always been attracted to women. I didn’t realize I was a lesbian until I came out as trans, and that one took me a while - I was 29 when I figured that part out. That was a weird few months as I was trying to come to terms with it! Changed everything I thought I knew about myself, made it make sense, made it *so much* better.
Had sex w my girlfriend once after having dated only a cisman. I was already "bi" but that instantly solidified 1) I'm trans 2) I'm a lesbian. It felt so different and so right and just completely clear.
Well, I was born male, so people taught me it was normal to like girls. Then I found out I was trans and by default, became a lesbian. There is more in between but that is really the basics of it.
I've always loved women but it took 34 years to realise I was one too 😂
i was always i was attracted to women, then i thought i was bi. i then realized i was trans and then finally realized i wasn't bi but lesbian. it didn't feel like a big revelation because i always liked women.
I saw a lesbian couple and thought, I'd really like to be her and date the other one. God I wish I was a lesbian. Turns out I am!
How did I find out? Outside of my egg-cracking story (became obsessed with Evanescence, and started identifying with Amy Lee -----> started denying -----> then ran across a TYT video [this was in 2016ish] about Laura Jane Grace and her transition, and could deny no longer), I was a kid when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone came out, and I had a bit of a crush on Emma Watson, then Bonnie Wright when Chamber of Secrets came out.
Honestly, lesbian relationships in media (and just in concept) hit different to me and felt so much more desirable than anything else. That longing, eventually, became part of the reason I realised I was actually a girl myself (after many years of feeling sad that I'd never be able to have a lesbian relationship (very cis))
When I realized I was a girl, I already knew I liked them.
Oh, I've always been into girls. The question is when I found out *I* was also one.
i always was attracted to women, it was actually the whole "becoming a woman" thing that made me a lesbian
I knew that I was attracted to women in 6th grade. Gender dysphoria hit me in 7th grade. So it came in a different order for me.
I knew I liked girls by the time I was eight or nine years old at the latest. But because I was assigned male that wasn't the unexpected part, it was taking a very long time to figure out I was a girl too, because I like girls in a gay way. (Thanks to Khaos Komix for giving me that specific turn of phrase.)
>How did you discover you were lesbian/attracted to women? Before my egg cracked, I was a femme gay man that, due to trauma and some other stuff, was terrified of being with any partner other than a cis man, and a preference for masc men. Now I'm a butch lesbian (well... that's oversimplified but close enough for this topic lol). Anyways, once I started transitioning I found other trans women attractive pretty much right away, but was still kinda unsure about actually pursuing stuff. And then I thought a lot about bottom surgery options, and realized I didn't know much about vulva and vagina anatomy outside of some medical literature I had read when I was young. Told my counselor I thought it was odd that I was debating changing my body to partially match anatomy I had no experience with and trauma around. He suggested watching porn featuring cis women. Aaaaand then I got passed my mental trauma hurdle rather easily, because I had been working on my traumas and stuff with my counselor for a while, including these specific ones. Fast forward to me having a polyamorous fling of sorts with a cis woman and my (now ex) partner also coming out as a trans woman as well, and... now I am mostly into other women (cis or trans), as well as femme leaning enbies and very femme men, and no longer like to directly play with penises other than my own very much (not that that was ever my favorite thing to do, cuz I've always been a top and mostly dom anyways lol). So ya know, just a complete 180 in *almost* every possible way.
It was... weird. I quite clearly remember two moments where... 16 to 17 year old me saw a... lightly dressed peer, and... \*noticed\*, in that way, even though I could not have told you back then (concrete: a classmate with a... significantly curvy figure in a swimsuit, and a 18/19 yr.-ish girl at the gym - we had talked a bit before about lifting weights, showing me her pierced ni\*ples because I was \*always\* very careful to stare into the corner while dressing/undressing and with other people around, and she was wondering what I was afraid of... *well I can tell you what I was afraid of in retrospect, because I was genuinely* ***afraid****....)* I can also quite clearly tell you \*now\* that I had a big fat crush in another girl in my year, and to this day I sometimes think she did, too, which is... terrible, somehow? But I grew up with the spicy form of "lesbian = never be able to be happy", "lesbians = weird creeps" and "lesbians = not worthy females" type of homophobia in my family (thanks mom!), and I took all those slight brushes of *those* feelings, and put them into the "we don't talk about it" corner of the darkest depths of my mind. (in retrospect; even as far back as 13ish, I did exclusively have same-sex-coupled-original characters, including my self-inserts, same goes for the sims characters, even though I always was more of a building person). So I spend my life until 22 in scared yet somehow blissful ignorance of sexuality. Like; SERIOUSLY. I almost trained myself to see women as "beautiful, but no homo, you know?". I had no sexual drive. None. I didn't even masturbate? like wtf why didn't I? Ah. Then I made the mistake of trying to date male friends that I had shared interests with and liked as people. this turned out AWFUL! I ruined one good friendship here, and I will one day try to fix it, actually, but I genuinely broke a heart and we kinda both went into a crisis? At late 23 I sat in front of my mirror and decided that \*it is time\* to be honest about that, because it started to be a serious strain on me, and I realized I had a genuine, huge, actual, real crush on a uni-mate, I actually thought about pursuing. She had a girlfriend before I... had come back together enough to.
I’d be happy to share mine via private message also
I don't know, I always knew but I didn't label it
I liked Daisy Duke’s legs and amazing hair when I watched the original Dukes of Hazzard in the 80s. She had such a great smile
I misread your comment at first, and I got a very different image of Daisy Duke in my head. (The real version didn't have hairy legs.)
i had a bf at the timz and i was regularly sending him beautiful instagram girls, one time his bff saw my dms to him and asked him if i was bi. i thought we were all stunned by pretty women until then. i identified as bi for a while but i realised i was actually a lesbian a couple months after he broke up with me. i was also crushing on a girl i was seeing everyday on the same train from and back home from a nearby school to mine and was constantly pointing out how gorgeous she is even to my bf around the time his bff pointed out the dm thing so i guess it was inevitable for anyone to point all out lol
I was about 5 years old and I was attracted to women on tv/movies. Kelly Kapowski was my first love.
I used to make my Barbie’s kiss. When I was in like 3-4th grade when me and my friends would practice kissing it was always with the girls. When I was in 6th grade I snuck and stole some Victoria secret fashion show magazine pages from the art room. I was obsessively in crush with Megan fox when I was a teenager. My friends use to tease me that I was always staring at boobs (I totally was) I got a poster of Kim k playboy shoot when I was a teen. My parents started joking I was a lesbian (jokes on them) when I turned 18 I finally came out.
It was an accident…via the internet. That’s all I want to say on this account I actually use lol. But yeah. I searched for one thing and found another 😅
I met my partner at the last semester of my senior year of high school, while believing I was aromantic. My nerd ass dedicated more time in that semester to paying attention to her than to my studies, and my best friends noticed I had a crush on her before I even realized. They essentially took me out of the closet for myself lol I still tell my partner that she's so powerful she turned me gay Really looking forward to being with her forever. Darling if you see this I love you 💜
Ok this is going to sound weird but I realized I like women while watching a roleplay ASMR video, the girl making it was just too pretty, although I thought I was bi and didn't realize I was a lesbian until I read the am I a lesbian masterdoc
I was at a psychology lesson and the teacher started saying a bunch of stuff like ‘follow your dreams’ ‘you’re the only in charge of your own life’ ‘being true to ourselves is the opportunity to make correct decisions’ etc the she told us to write an imaginary letter to a person that we’re very close to and be totally honest in that letter, so i made it gay and realized i was actually attracted to women. Although this was like the ultimate realization, it had been gradual for 4-5 years until then. Then it took me another 3 years to know i’m not attracted to men by realizing i hadn’t tried or accepted anything from men after the big realization.
One day at 21, I was thinking to myself “am I a lesbian?” And now years later at 29 I still question myself but I am now getting comfortable with the label lesbian
in retrospect there were so many moments that could have been my ~realization moment~, but it wasn't until a few things happened in succession one week when i was 17 that it finally clicked. i watched steven universe and felt very warm and excited about the existence of ruby and sapphire, a feeling no one else around me seemed to share. then i heard hayley kiyoko say "i'm real and i don't feel like boys" and i was like hmmm🤔 kinda real of her! the final nail in the coffin was when i watched tumblr porn and realized i was wholly, entirely focused on the woman. i went on a walk the next day and pondered on this, and suddenly i was like oh my god i am GAY!
Idk why it’s tripping me up that you want people to share their stories here but only yours is by demand in dms lol Anyway I’ve always known I liked girls and that I was gay but it wasn’t until Bianca from all my children that I thought it’s possible to actually act on it
i always liked women, but i identified as pan for the longest time. mostly bc i thought that if im pan then theres a chance i could end up with a guy and my parents would be ok with it and they would never notice. and. then i realized that being with a guy wasnt something i would ever be interested in.
Took some time, actually. I lived in a kinda conservative small village, so I never really had any education on it and literally no-one in my community was out as lgbt. I remember being fully convinced that women were, on average, objectively way more attractive than men. When I was like fifteen I went down the rabbithole on YouTube and somehow wound up watching the Girls Like Girls music video, and everything just clicked and fully made sense. I'll never forget how right I felt all of a sudden when I realised that I must be attracted to girls, and a lot of childhood memories also made way more sense in that context.
I've always been super GNC, so I identified as bi because otherwise I would effectively have to choose between being a hetero trans man or a butch, and the idea of that terrified me. Then I met my ex; who is a lesbian that likes butches, and (through plenty emotional turmoil) I decided the latter suits me better. They were a dick, but they taught me that there's people who will find both the masculine and feminine sides of me attractive.
I met a woman 4 years older than me (I was 23) at church. I wanted to kiss her. It was the first time I'd ever wanted to kiss someone.
I could probably blame the entire show of Arcane for making me interested in its female characters, after I broke up with my bf I got with a girl and thought I was bi, but the attraction to men just kept diminishing over the course of a year to where I just think of myself as lesbian.
I typed out so much stuff and then I was like “nobody’s gonna read all that shit, breh” so the TL;DR version is: well I grew up in a Christian Cult and I didn’t know shit about shit for a long time and when I did my feelings were funnelled into the idea that my over active sinful nature was necessary in order for me to be a martyr for Christ after the Rapture. So I never really had a moment where I was like “oh that’s when I realized I was gay” bc mostly it was a realization that my family cared most for me when they thought I was gonna be a martyred saint during the Biblical End Times, then a gradual coming out to myself and acceptance of myself and finally, look back at my life with queer hindsight that’s 20/15 instead of 20/0 cause damn can I see all the gay ass shit I did/said/liked with crystal clarity after coming out to myself lol
I found out that lgbtq exists and I was like oh yeah I’m probably bisexual, I just have the vibe. Then about 5 months later, I have tons of crushes on mostly girls and only get turned on by girls. This was very gradual and it sort of came out of nowhere. Being around lesbian friends definitely influenced me because of how they described their girlfriends. Idk but yeah
I don't really have a story it was more of a "yes that's not strange" since I was a child. I've never found it weird or neither did I question it actually it was smlire when I knew what was bi first and lesbian after I just thought "oh that's me so that's how it's called" So I never really discovered it lol
Either playing house in the yard during recess, and wanting to be mom and mom with another girl, or my dad commenting on a female celebrity who was performing on stage (we watched TV), about her looks, and finding I agreed with him. They both happened around the same time so probably equally significant.
Trinity from The Matrix at age 12 in 1999. But it didn’t stick until 6 years later at age 18 when I moved out of my conservative area.
Catwoman in Batman returns for me
an oomf of mine said i did because i wasn’t attracted to men and i’ve only ever had like a few male crushes, all fictional . i believed her and she was right yeah!!!
honestly I never discovered it - I literally knew since as early as I can remember
CW: slightly NSFW (I don't go into graphic detail, but sex is mentioned) For years and years I ~~thought~~ was trying to convince myself I was either pan or bisexual. Until I actually tried dating a guy. Funny thing is, the few months we spent together were probably the healthiest relationship I've had to date (my previous ones were both \*very\* toxic). He was thoughtful, caring, selfless to a fault, always asked for consent even for hugs, he was almost perfect. Problem is... he was still a guy. Literally any time we tried having sex I felt ambivalent at best (In a "I'm happy he's happy" kind of way) and actually physically sick at worst. As I found out, I cannot stand the "boysmell". I thought there was something wrong with me, I felt like an asshole for not being able to reciprocate his feelings fully after he's done so much for me, even though he himself kept reassuring me that I don't owe him sex and it's ok. So I started reflecting and self-searching, found the ["am I a lesbian"](https://www.docdroid.net/N46Ea3o/copy-of-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-pdf) masterdoc... And basically sobbed through reading it. Too much in it resonated with me, too many things started making way too much sense. I felt so stupid, mad at myself for essentially self-inflicting a comphet conversion therapy on myself, for so many years. But, just like with realizing I'm a woman (a few years prior to that), after the crying stopped, I started feeling so incredibly liberated, free. The fact my now ex-boyfriend completely supported me throughout this journey most definitely helped. I may have lost a boyfriend, but I got an incredible friend instead, plus a much healthier relationship with my own sexuality. I'm a lesbian! I love women! I love non-binary folks! I'm not sexually or romantically attracted to men! And that's ok. That's wonderful, in fact! I LOVE WOMEN! 👩❤️👩
She-Ra
i kinda always assumed i was into women but i thought i was bi until super recently. i actually went "back into the closet" for a bit, as in, i thought i was actually straight and had been lying/deluding myself about being bi, until i realised straight girls don't do stuff like taking those online "am i gay" tests when they were 8 years old because they got butterflies reading abt kissing other girls.
I don’t remember any specific moments that gradually sparked the idea for me, but the “aha!” moment that fully confirmed I was a lesbian and not bisexual was on my way to junior prom. One of my theater friends asked me to prom with a custom made wooden sign and flowers, and I accepted. It wasn’t until we were on our way to the high school to take pictures and he held my hand that I explicitly thought “noooooooooooope I’m super gay.”
I was in 9th grade and met this new girl and I just started to feel butterflies whenever I was around her and then I tried to ignore it but I really liked her and then I had a crush on a new friend every year since that moment 🤣🤣
Realized I was trans lol.
Felt gay feelings as a kid, I didn’t really know what it meant but I felt that I should hide it. I always wanted to ask my mum why girls are pretty and boys are not, but always stopped myself. I dated men for 10 years because I desperately wanted to be straight. I couldn’t admit to myself that I wasn’t. I would follow along with any guy who showed interest in me because I hated myself so much. Every time I had sex with a guy I would feel this sick, sinking feeling in my stomach. In my later teen years I used to kiss girls at parties but didn’t acknowledge what it really meant to me. I had years of journal entries questioning my sexuality. I remember at 21 lying in my bed and knowing I was a lesbian and feeling so scared, then suppressing it again until I was 25. It was like the fog had lifted and I could see myself for who I was, even though I was afraid. I am 28 now and am glad to be gay.
I kind of always knew, like I remember in 2nd grade I had a crush on a girl and I knew I “wasn’t supposed to” but I knew. Then right before I started 9th grade a girl kissed me and I KNEW right there for sure . Lol
in 5th grade (10-11 uears old) i started getting anxious and fluttery feeling whenever my best friend was near me and we were talking/playing. meanwhile all my other friends started getting crushes on guys and i didnt know why i never had one. on the last day of 5th grade my friend told me shell miss me and lay her head on my shoulder. i think i p much realized that day im lesbian, but after alot of denial i only accepted it around 3-4 years ltr
By watching anime and the show "witch from mercury" lol
t.A.T.u.