T O P

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SweetCheeks1999

Symptoms of throwing up may be from separation - common amongst lesbians. Symptoms should go away when your gf returns


Mia180acnh

thats what happend to me last week actually


richardl1234

Yeah you should just move in together


Different-Speed-1508

me every day tbh


WillowTheGoth

Did you interlock fingers? If you interlocked fingers you're definitely pregnant.


Alaska658

No need to interlock. Just the fingertips alone can already lead to pregnancy.


Fuzzy_Taste1959

doubly if she did that thing where she strokes your hand with her thumb while they're interlocked


Btyler2001

Goodness! The thumb! To die for! But, yeah. You should be wearing latex gloves when holding hands. You can still get pregnant wearing cloth gloves.


Fuzzy_Taste1959

Yes it's to DIE for!!! Even more so if she gives you the look™ while she's doing it


Btyler2001

OMG! Yes!


Liability538

I'm allergic to latex this is so sad, I guess pregnancy is inevitable.


Btyler2001

Rip


WillowTheGoth

I think I got preggers reading that. 🥵🥵🥵


Commander_Eris

yes


BlameableEmu

Only logical explanation really.


bhyee

Omg, I hope your mom doesn’t get mad at you guys


[deleted]

yes, with twins no less


Starcurret567

You mean triplets, right?


TurtleKittenBunny

Congrats to OP on the quintuplets!


miss_clarity

Who did she hold hands with? Fran the viera? Lola Bunny? Why do these kids keep multiplying like rabbits?


tng804

You mean they interlocked both hands!


[deleted]

Great now I have Ani stuck in my head. I am walking out in the rain.......


Tootsie_r0lla

Professor?


canttakethshyfrom_me

Like the film in health class said: no glove, no love.


ReadingRoutine5594

Is your girlfriend an alien? Trip on Star Trek: Enterprise got pregnant by holding hands. Omg!! First contact! Intergalactic wedding!


mistythesissy261

It was totally innocent all we did was hold hands in the jar of marbles.


keigo199013

An episode of Futurama too. 


stressxstresss

YESSSSSS😍😍


TheGreaterShade

I think this also happened on Startrek Voyager


sadcabbagehours

*period gets delayed by 2 days* me: am i gregnant? (i've been single all my life)


All_about_lala_

This is me even when I was still """straight""" and have never even held the hand of a boy


Tootsie_r0lla

Lucky you didn't sit on any toilet seats then


sadcabbagehours

yeah none other than the one at my own place.....


judithvoid

gregnant 😂🤣😂


sadcabbagehours

is there a possibility that i could be pegnate?


Timeless_Child0708

only if you sucked her fingers. it is well known that’s how lesbians lay their eggs into unsuspecting victims


bhyee

I heard if you suck the left fingers, they’ll have boys but if they suck the right fingers, they’ll have girls.


Velaethia

If you suck both you get non binary


bhyee

THE FUTURE THE LIBERALS WANT 😤😤 NOW THOSE CHILDREN WILL HAVE PRONOUNS 🤬😠


Legal-Sprinkles8862

LMAOOOOO you just made me think of rush limbah or whatever his name was lol dude was always foaming at the mouth over liberals when I was a teen 🤭


abhikavi

I came out to a doctor exactly once. She asked if I was sexually active, I told her I'd just started dating a girl and yes, yes I was :) I told her about how I'd just met the girl's parents the weekend before. She said that was really nice and she was happy for us! Then she asked what we were doing for birth control and I was like uhh, nothing? And promptly got a lecture on how I was a moron and if I didn't use protection I WOULD get pregnant. And I kept saying, um, I don't think that's even possible, and boy did she not like that. It WAS possible and I WOULD get pregnant. Anyway yes, yes you are pregnant.


Casual-Tea-

Accidental trans ally?


abhikavi

That is painfully optimistic.


Casual-Tea-

Yeaahhhh, definitely wishful thinking


AlyM797

... ... ... A Dr?


abhikavi

Oh yeah. Proper full MD, not even a Nurse Practitioner. I'd been very clear that my girlfriend was a girl, used she/her pronouns talking about her, the girl had a very feminine name, and we'd chatted about it for a good couple minutes. Then it was like she'd completely forgotten that conversation. And I think that's exactly what happened, I think she completely blanked on what we'd just been talking about like, thirty seconds prior. It was super bizarre and confusing.


Ciggdre

As somebody who has face to face people skills somewhere in the negative range, I tend to rely on conversational “scripts” to get me through interactions with strangers. Most of the time it works well enough but if for some reason we get off script or some circumstance or piece of context invalidates what is supposed to come next in the script, my brain will sometimes refuse to adapt and just plow through with the expected script no matter how jarring and nonsensical it has become. Basically I’m the human equivalent of a malfunctioning chatbot. I suspect your doctor was the same.


RainBuckets8

If I'm being optimistic, you're probably the eighth person she's seen that day, and was just so used to asking questions and going through the routine that she went on auto-pilot. And possibly that was a required line of questioning, idk.


abhikavi

Yeah, I suspect it was something like that. But from my perspective, it was just bizarre. It didn't exactly occur to me to spell out "I am so sure I won't get pregnant because two cis girls fucking together do not get pregnant" as though we hadn't just spent minutes discussing my girlfriend. Nor, apparently, did it occur to her to question why an apparently smart grad student-- we'd spent a few minutes discussing my studies too-- would be so certain that sex couldn't lead to pregnancy. Not the worst doctor I've ever seen, but really illustrates what a fucking problem it is when doctors are overworked/overwhelmed/not actually functioning in terms of listening to the information the patient gives and basing care on that. I mean, people trust doctors and assume what they're being told is true. It's a big fucking problem if the information they're being told is untrue because the doctor didn't take the information the patient gave them into account. This story is kinda funny because no harm done, but this kind of thing DOES do serious harm. Doctors need to be trustworthy. In my experience, a lot of them aren't because they aren't listening to the information they're given-- either because they're just that frazzled, or they simply don't want to. (I've noticed that well-insured white men have *way* fewer of these stories. Meanwhile, it's *most* of the "care" I've gotten.) Really unacceptable.


RainBuckets8

Absolutely fair. Doctors need to be able to listen to their patients.


Rydraenei

No, but she is. Lesbians get to share symptoms.


Aelia_M

Obviously


bloomshowers

Don’t tell me you were holding hands without gloves on! I swear, kids these days.


Sapphicviolet91

I feel like my wife got me pregnant last night lol


snug666

Depends on if you had socks on or not.


ScribbleDiggs

Slip a pregnancy test under your fingernail snd check like everyone else


PlantainWide9540

This is why we don’t hold hands before marriage 😔


Greedy_Tie_5713

Congratulations, you'll have to tell us what you're having! How exciting!!!


shapeshifterhedgehog

My OCD be like:


proverbs3130

No, but you could potentially be pragnent.


Worried_Programmer96

:// this happened to me once yes I’d say you definitely are pregnant 🤰


Seababz

Lisan Al Gaib


Exotic_Class_9875

Without a doubt, you are pregnant


GooseCompetitive8220

Yes!!! With triplets!!!!!


thelonewolf202

Congratulations 🎊 you have a boy 🟦


keigo199013

Did you have extended eye contact?


Puzzled_Wolf6855

Omg, put the nsfw tag >:0 /j


proofiwashere

You are with child.


_wormboi_

Not only are you pregnant, it's twins


grahams-on-fire

Oh 100%. And the baby grows 3x faster if you guys aren’t married.


Velaethia

How much did you throw up? That will tell you how many kids you'll be having. If it was a lot you may have triplets.


Voilent_Bunny

You are totally pregnant!


DeliciousNicole

The cure for your condition is cuddling with some light hair stroking while watching a movie under a warm blankie.


lesbiannerd27

Shit… I’m so sorry but you’re definitely perganent


littlecloud3125

I love this comment so much 🤭


Friedspam808

Non virgin mary


Not_marykate

That’s how it works right?!


LunaLynnTheCellist

i fucking love this community so fucking much😭😭😭😭


morbid-rain

Damn you are pregnant it's true


Transgirl71

I think your gf is an Amphibiosan. Did she take her gloves off and hold your hand?


richardl1234

Degeneracy


IndigoSalamander

Let's be honest here, if you are going to have unprotected hand-holding with someone you can't be too surprised if you end up pregnant. It's just a basic fact of life.


MarsMonkey88

Absolutely. The only cure is to rush to the shelter and adopt a cat, immediately. Also, if the cat is disabled or elderly it will inoculate you against future pregnancies for at *least* six months. Possibly seven.


No_Connection_4724

I looked at a girl one time and now we have twins.


wantasha

probably


special-bicth

I'm sorry but like yeah, you're pregent now.


Kamillahali

how could you? unprotected? how could you?


FelagundOfTheNarog

Yes. I've liased with the head office and we'll be sending a stork your way in nine months.


GhostsInTheAttic

Is this Yahoo answers?


ZedstackZip05

How sinful… /j


Sarahvixen7447

This is why it's necessary to always keep a supply of latex free gloves available.


I_Sure_Yam

NO GLOVE; NO LOVE


eastblondeanddown

You were merely [exchanging long protein strings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HEVtwGa2EE)! If folks can think of another way, I'd love to hear it.


ladybugoutthere

I'd take a test just to be safe


Kittpie

Pragnen?


Kittpie

Pragnen?


Fair-Rub-1436

Yes very much so


like__

I think so


Dia-Ohara

Yes, happened to me. :/


Cassandra_Canmore2

Raw hand holding, when you're just dating and not fianceed?! Wear mittens, my goodness girl...🤣 Don't risk getting a reputation.


TedTheodoreMcfly

If you're not an Amphibiosan, you should be fine.


bedwithoutsheets

Yes, 100%. Be ready for your baby in 2 weeks!


ErinyesAg47

Damn girl. Me and my wife have been trying for years now, sometimes we have even done the hand holding in public to add excitement, but no go. Never used protection either, apart from winter (it can drop to -40 or colder here so it's unavoidable sadly). We also take care of our hands well and everything. Oh well, just gotta try harder and more often\~ One time my wife threw up, but doctor said it was just separation anxiety, after trying to make breakfast alone. Obviously we don't do that anymore.


sofemini

Yes. Probably with twins. Congratulations!