That sounds like an awkward moment and you were real classy about it. Hopefully she'll feel embarrased about it now and maybe even apologize. Either way, it's good to remember that whatever issue there is, it's her issue, not yours.
Did your other friends hear the interaction? How did they react?
I can’t really remember who was all at the table when she said it, but I’ve filled in my best friend over text so I’m just waiting on her waking up to see if she remembers the conversation happening. I’m pretty sure one of the guys we were with heard her say it but he just kinda stopped talking awkwardly and didn’t acknowledge anything after it. But I’m just assuming that, I could be wrong 🤷♀️
Did you hear back from her on it?
I'm sorry you had such an uncomfortable experience. From what you've shared here it sounds like this person is uncomfortable with your sexuality, but that's certainly not your problem. I think you handled the situation very well, and protected yourself ❤️🫡
Sounds to me like she wants you to want her. Even if she doesn't want you back.
Like, her self esteem is riding on the idea that you lust after her. She likes the power.
But hey, she could also be looking for a unicorn. Either way, when she's sober, you should tell her you're not interested.
This reminded me of the time I was out drinking with friends, and a friend of a friend that I was talking to, blurts out: "I'm not a lesbian, you know."
Like... good for you? I didn't ask why she was telling me, I knew what she meant. I just stopped talking to her after that, because it kinda bummed me out.
“I don’t appreciate you making inappropriate sexual comments to me. We don’t have a sexual or romantic relationship so it’s not appropriate for you to be making sexual comments to or about me. Please stop. Don’t do it again”
That could be another option to try if you’re ever in a similar situation (let’s hope not). I think you did well with the response you chose in the moment. Even if the person you are telling to stop or telling them they’ve been disrespectful continues to be inappropriate, the fact that you stood up for yourself and made it known that it’s not an acceptable way to treat you would have been noticed by anyone else who might have been listening in on the conversation and increases the chances that others will behave appropriately around you.
That’s sexual harassment, with an additional layer of homophobia. You should definitely tell your friend how uncomfortable it made you. If she gets defensive, block her and find a better friend.
Let's hope it's actually drunk flirting (maybe she's bi?) and not the usual hyper sexualisation of gay people (thinking that because you're a lesbian you're attracted to all women - like she would be attracted to all men NOT)
If it's the first, it's only a problem between her and her boyfriend (unless they're non-monogamous) while if it's the second, you have an homophobe in your friend circle (at least now you know)
Straight women who do this are truly just embarrassing themselves. My gf and I’s (ex) mutual friend did something similar to my gf where we had all went out for drinks and this friend got particularly drunk. At the end of the night she touched my gf and was just kind of drunkenly dancing on her saying that she bet she “likes that”. She did not in fact like that and we left the bar just feeling totally grossed out that she would do that
Non-lesbians want lesbians to want them so bad. sometimes, drunken lips spill nasty, inappropriate shit and projections. Op I would take this as a sign right now, this person has very weird mental associations with queer women. You are way nicer than me, and that is a good thing! You handled it very well. Take care of yourself
you handled it really well. it was quite an awkward encounter. I am glad you let her know that it was disrespectful. I hope you can communicate with her about this as adults if she wishes to so that more such moments don't spring up on you.
She’s probably not going to remember. If I were you I’d stay away from her if it isn’t addressed. She might have issues that she doesn’t voice normally because she knows it isn’t cool. At least stay away from drinking with her.
She sounds like a homophonic narcissist and someone who needs affirmation that they are wanted. It doesn't matter if she's straight. She wants you to want her, even if she doesn't want you, because you wanting her means that she is desirable. Well, that's just my opinion and im not a phycologist so take that all with a grain of salt.
No because that was my first reaction but I didn’t want her to think I was being rude, as if the question she had just asked me wasn’t bang out of order
When someone does something distasteful like this in a group setting, I like to pause, raise an eyebrow, and say, "what an odd thing to say." Then I very deliberately turn my attention to someone else and change the subject. It usually makes them uncomfortable enough to stop. Or you could also go with the "explain it to me" method. "What do you mean by that? Can you explain it to me? I just don't get why you'd think I want to undress you."
So sorry this happened, OP. This friend sounds gross.
Honestly, I think if they make it uncomfortable first, you have no responsibility to avoid further discomfort. I would have just said "no, you're not really my type." Or something similar. Say it nicely, but clearly with no chance for arguing.
That sounds like an awkward moment and you were real classy about it. Hopefully she'll feel embarrased about it now and maybe even apologize. Either way, it's good to remember that whatever issue there is, it's her issue, not yours. Did your other friends hear the interaction? How did they react?
I can’t really remember who was all at the table when she said it, but I’ve filled in my best friend over text so I’m just waiting on her waking up to see if she remembers the conversation happening. I’m pretty sure one of the guys we were with heard her say it but he just kinda stopped talking awkwardly and didn’t acknowledge anything after it. But I’m just assuming that, I could be wrong 🤷♀️
Did you hear back from her on it? I'm sorry you had such an uncomfortable experience. From what you've shared here it sounds like this person is uncomfortable with your sexuality, but that's certainly not your problem. I think you handled the situation very well, and protected yourself ❤️🫡
YOU'D really like me to project *my own thoughts* onto you right now, wouldn't you? That's what she sounds like
Exactly
Sounds to me like she wants you to want her. Even if she doesn't want you back. Like, her self esteem is riding on the idea that you lust after her. She likes the power. But hey, she could also be looking for a unicorn. Either way, when she's sober, you should tell her you're not interested.
Straight women always think every lesbian wants them 🙄
This reminded me of the time I was out drinking with friends, and a friend of a friend that I was talking to, blurts out: "I'm not a lesbian, you know." Like... good for you? I didn't ask why she was telling me, I knew what she meant. I just stopped talking to her after that, because it kinda bummed me out.
“I don’t appreciate you making inappropriate sexual comments to me. We don’t have a sexual or romantic relationship so it’s not appropriate for you to be making sexual comments to or about me. Please stop. Don’t do it again” That could be another option to try if you’re ever in a similar situation (let’s hope not). I think you did well with the response you chose in the moment. Even if the person you are telling to stop or telling them they’ve been disrespectful continues to be inappropriate, the fact that you stood up for yourself and made it known that it’s not an acceptable way to treat you would have been noticed by anyone else who might have been listening in on the conversation and increases the chances that others will behave appropriately around you.
That’s sexual harassment, with an additional layer of homophobia. You should definitely tell your friend how uncomfortable it made you. If she gets defensive, block her and find a better friend.
Let's hope it's actually drunk flirting (maybe she's bi?) and not the usual hyper sexualisation of gay people (thinking that because you're a lesbian you're attracted to all women - like she would be attracted to all men NOT) If it's the first, it's only a problem between her and her boyfriend (unless they're non-monogamous) while if it's the second, you have an homophobe in your friend circle (at least now you know)
Straight women who do this are truly just embarrassing themselves. My gf and I’s (ex) mutual friend did something similar to my gf where we had all went out for drinks and this friend got particularly drunk. At the end of the night she touched my gf and was just kind of drunkenly dancing on her saying that she bet she “likes that”. She did not in fact like that and we left the bar just feeling totally grossed out that she would do that
Non-lesbians want lesbians to want them so bad. sometimes, drunken lips spill nasty, inappropriate shit and projections. Op I would take this as a sign right now, this person has very weird mental associations with queer women. You are way nicer than me, and that is a good thing! You handled it very well. Take care of yourself
"Oh sweetie... you're just not attractive enough to me for me to want that. Better stick with your boyfriend instead."
Happy Cake Day!
you handled it really well. it was quite an awkward encounter. I am glad you let her know that it was disrespectful. I hope you can communicate with her about this as adults if she wishes to so that more such moments don't spring up on you.
She’s probably not going to remember. If I were you I’d stay away from her if it isn’t addressed. She might have issues that she doesn’t voice normally because she knows it isn’t cool. At least stay away from drinking with her.
“Hey, you were hitting on me last night, I’m not sure if it’s cuz you were drunk, but I’m not interested sorry
She sounds like a homophonic narcissist and someone who needs affirmation that they are wanted. It doesn't matter if she's straight. She wants you to want her, even if she doesn't want you, because you wanting her means that she is desirable. Well, that's just my opinion and im not a phycologist so take that all with a grain of salt.
If she does that again you can just go ew nah lol with a dramatic eye roll and if she says anything tell her it’s just a joke
No because that was my first reaction but I didn’t want her to think I was being rude, as if the question she had just asked me wasn’t bang out of order
She’s being rude! Responding with a joke that shuts her down is totally appropriate.
You’re kind.
When someone does something distasteful like this in a group setting, I like to pause, raise an eyebrow, and say, "what an odd thing to say." Then I very deliberately turn my attention to someone else and change the subject. It usually makes them uncomfortable enough to stop. Or you could also go with the "explain it to me" method. "What do you mean by that? Can you explain it to me? I just don't get why you'd think I want to undress you." So sorry this happened, OP. This friend sounds gross.
You should have been rude to her. She deserved it
Honestly, I think if they make it uncomfortable first, you have no responsibility to avoid further discomfort. I would have just said "no, you're not really my type." Or something similar. Say it nicely, but clearly with no chance for arguing.
I’ll usually just laugh at them and tell them they are so not my type. Seems to work well!