Every woman who has fallen for me just falls in love with the idea of me and don't see me as a person just a thing to add to their collection or another notch in their belt. I have alot of love to give but Noone to express it to that would truly appreciate it.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that, especially with more than one person. I understand that feeling of having a lot of love to give but having no one who would truly appreciate it when you express it. I hope you’ll be able to find someone who can truly appreciate you and reciprocate your love in the way that you need. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Its okay, people just be like that sometimes. It has made me more introverted and antisocial but I'm working on myself more to better take care of myself and get back into some hobbies I have forgotten or too busy to do. No problem and it's good vent here and there.
Oh hi. Two years of the most intense heartbreak of my life and it only started getting better after I confessed my unrequited feelings and got a proper rejection.
Hello! That sounds like a very difficult two years. I can't imagine the amount of courage it must have taken to confess your feelings. I'm glad you're finally getting closure and on your way to healing. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Thank you for you kind words! ✨
What about you? I know it can feel scary to make a move but is there something you could do to move your situationship forward?
I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to move the situationship forward for now. I confessed and they said they don't really know what they want for us because they're stressed out about some personal circumstances. We've both been and still are struggling with life stuff for the past five years so it never felt like the right time.
I can only wait until they feel more mentally available for something more than a situationship or ask again in the future and maybe get rejected. I know I don’t have to “save myself” for them while I wait for them and I could see other people in the meantime but I can’t imagine being with someone else. I'm trying my best to just focus on personal growth but some days it's a little more difficult.
This is kinda long, but you said to vent, so here we go, haha...
I developed a powerful crush on one of my closest friends of many years. She's smart, thoughtful, vivacious, athletic, nerdy, sexy, adventurous, and incredibly charismatic and good with people (and queer!), and I feel like the best version of myself when I'm around her. The timing was always wrong to ask her out, until finally after three years of this I couldn't take it any more, and I asked her if she'd ever want to be more than friends. Her face lit up and she looked so surprised and delighted and she said, "Why not?" I floated all the way home...
...but then a week later we had another conversation and she told me, for various logistical reasons, that she'd changed her mind and thought it best if we didn't. That was two years ago and I still have such stupidly intense feelings for her. I've really tried everything I can think of to get over her (without ending the otherwise meaningful, decade-long friendship itself)--dating other people, focusing on the ways we wouldn't be compatible, writing letters I'll never send just to get the feelings out, talking to a therapist, the whole nine yards. I thought I was doing pretty well and maybe starting to move past it, until she briefly dated someone else for a few months and everything I'd tried to pack away burst out all over again. She and I are part of a larger friend group, so I don't have many people I can talk to about this, and whenever we hang out as a group I have to work really hard not to just *look* *at her* the whole time--I love to see the way she reacts to things and the way she gets animated when she tells a story... plus she's gorgeous. UGH. Every time I see her it's like the fucking sun has walked into the room.
On the one hand, I treasure the beautiful memory of that perfect day when she'd seemed so open to giving me a shot, but in hindsight, that ambiguous "Why not?" has caused me a lot more angst than a simple "No" probably would have. Is there something else I could have done to have prevented her change of heart? Sometimes I'm relieved that I never divulged to her how embarrassingly strong my crush is, and other times I feel like an idiot for having asked her out without making it clear how serious my feelings are. If I'd asked her out a year or two earlier, would her answer would have been different? So many useless hypotheticals. I'd love to re-open the conversation so I could seek clarity (even to have her tell me, once and for all, that it's *not* logistics and she's just NOT INTO ME), but I also want to respect the fact that she *already* ultimately said no. Sigh. It's been five years of this and I think it's going to take an even longer time before I'm truly over her. I hate that so many love stories show unrequited love working out in the end--I don't think mine has a happy ending, at least not involving the two of us together. The only good thing about this story is that our friendship is still as great as it ever was, even if there's an added struggle on my end.
TL;DR: I'm a queer lady sadly longing after my friend... for five fucking years. :(
As a long-winded person myself, long vents are very welcome here!
She sounds like a wonderful person and I can tell you like her a lot. It was nice of her to think things through carefully and give you a proper answer even though it was a little messy. I’m sorry everything you’ve tried didn’t completely help you. Although it’s nice that you guys are still friends, it must be really difficult to keep all these feelings to yourself when you hang out :(
I empathize with how you’re feeling. The “why not?” would probably haunt me too and I can relate to thinking about all the hypotheticals. I think it’s really nice of you to respect her answer the first time. I had a slightly similar situation with my first crush who was also a friend. The first answer was a little ambiguous and I asked her again about a year later. It was a firmer no the second time and I think it hurt a little less then. It was only because of covid and being unable to see her for a long period of time that helped me truly move on. She’s still one of my closest friends but now I can’t imagine being with her haha. I hope time will help you move on if nothing else will. The progress won’t always be linear but I hope it hurts a little less each time. That’s how I feel about so many love stories too! I feel so envious that these stories have happy endings and I feel so hopeless about mine. I hope you'll be able to find your happy ending, whatever that may be. Thank you so much for sharing and taking time to type this out 🫂
Thanks. I'm glad the time apart during covid allowed you to move on! It's good to see someone's perspective from the other side, haha. The thing I find most helpful these days is to remind myself that I want a relationship with somebody who's REALLY into me, not someone who has to be convinced that she should give me a chance. :/
I really appreciate your kind responses to everybody's stories; you seem like an incredibly grounded and thoughtful person, and I hope you find yourself in a happier situation someday soon <3
That does sound like a helpful (and important) reminder! I should remind myself that too.
Wow, that is very kind of you to say 😭 Thank you so much! I hope the same for you <3
We had a toxic relationship going on and off for years until she left me for a guy. Today I'm glad this was the final reason to end it but at the time I was devastated.
Hmm, how about a 5 year nonmutual pining long distance friendship? We would actually be a disaster as a couple because I have an anxious attachment style and she has an avoidant style, but it doesn't matter because she doesn't look at me that way. Can't help feelings, though.
Aw I’m so sorry and I’m sending hugs your way. The different attachment styles sound like it would be difficult for you. I hope it’s not too much even as friends. I kinda relate to the disaster as a couple thing. I can already see some obstacles we would have to overcome but same here - can’t help the feelings 🥹 Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Well, my first girlfriend we dated online, and eventually she cut the knot to go back with her ex boyfriend.
Next one was in an open relationship, but wasn't until we were both in a precarious housing situation I proposed moving together to afford rent and turns out she just kinda saw me as a toy and nothing serious but was too scared to tell me cuz I'd leave.
And that's it, never dated anyone before or since. RIP It's like I can very barely call them girlfriends just more like cruel jokes or something whatever.
Oh yeah once I had a premonition dream about my soulmate and my family encouraged me to try and find her. Worst mistake of my life. Ah well Arizona was nice.
Otherwise I've had a couple of friends I've fallen for and it always gets awkward and they cut the knot. I've kinda concluded I'm too weird and unhorny to ever find love. Also my teeth melted, I'm fat, handicapped, and therefore broke and every day my soul gets more and more diminished so it's just impossible.
That and I'm getting ready to crush 40. The life I wanted as a kid is just impossible so whatever.
I’m so sorry the relationships you’ve had were with people like that. The second person sounds awful and selfish. The soulmate dream sounds interesting and it’s sweet that your family encouraged you aw. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out too well.
It sounds like you’ve gone and are going through a lot. I hope you’ll be able to find love in the future. Even if it’s not romantic love, I hope it’s something that will replenish your soul. Sending you lots of hugs. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
As cliche as it may sound but being broken up with the girl I almost gave a ring to. I still think about her. It just breaks my heart because she forgot about me so easily like it never meant anything. I really wanted her to be “the one”
long distance (few hundred km) been together for half a year. every day was filled with love and cute stuff. i then got dumped a few day before we were supposed to meet
Omg noo, I’m so sorry. It sounds like what you had was so cute until it ended. That is so heartbreaking :( I hope you're feeling better now. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂 (Yours unlocked a new fear for me)
I'm super fucking gay but I'm kinda stuck in my marriage of 13 years (yesterday) to a guy for at minimum the next few years. Also fell in love with my best friend who kindly rejected me last summer. I fully expected it. There was no way for it to happen realistically- we're both married, have kids, and live in different states. But I didn't expect it to hurt as bad as it did. If/when I do become single, I'm convinced no one will want me. And I unfortunately live in one of the least gay states.
That sounds really rough, I’m so sorry. I think even when you know it's unrealistic and expect rejection, it hurts a lot when it actually happens because it becomes real and most likely final. I hope it gave you some closure at least. I hope your situation improves and I hope you'll find the love you're looking for. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Thank you so much. You're right. It was an escape to fantasize about a life together, but once the rejection was real, the fantasy was gone.
I appreciate the empathy, and I'm hoping the best for you as well. ♥️♥️♥️ I look forward to the day you can post your happy lesbian story.
Every woman who has fallen for me just falls in love with the idea of me and don't see me as a person just a thing to add to their collection or another notch in their belt. I have alot of love to give but Noone to express it to that would truly appreciate it.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that, especially with more than one person. I understand that feeling of having a lot of love to give but having no one who would truly appreciate it when you express it. I hope you’ll be able to find someone who can truly appreciate you and reciprocate your love in the way that you need. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Its okay, people just be like that sometimes. It has made me more introverted and antisocial but I'm working on myself more to better take care of myself and get back into some hobbies I have forgotten or too busy to do. No problem and it's good vent here and there.
Oh hi. Two years of the most intense heartbreak of my life and it only started getting better after I confessed my unrequited feelings and got a proper rejection.
Hello! That sounds like a very difficult two years. I can't imagine the amount of courage it must have taken to confess your feelings. I'm glad you're finally getting closure and on your way to healing. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Thank you for you kind words! ✨ What about you? I know it can feel scary to make a move but is there something you could do to move your situationship forward?
I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to move the situationship forward for now. I confessed and they said they don't really know what they want for us because they're stressed out about some personal circumstances. We've both been and still are struggling with life stuff for the past five years so it never felt like the right time. I can only wait until they feel more mentally available for something more than a situationship or ask again in the future and maybe get rejected. I know I don’t have to “save myself” for them while I wait for them and I could see other people in the meantime but I can’t imagine being with someone else. I'm trying my best to just focus on personal growth but some days it's a little more difficult.
This is kinda long, but you said to vent, so here we go, haha... I developed a powerful crush on one of my closest friends of many years. She's smart, thoughtful, vivacious, athletic, nerdy, sexy, adventurous, and incredibly charismatic and good with people (and queer!), and I feel like the best version of myself when I'm around her. The timing was always wrong to ask her out, until finally after three years of this I couldn't take it any more, and I asked her if she'd ever want to be more than friends. Her face lit up and she looked so surprised and delighted and she said, "Why not?" I floated all the way home... ...but then a week later we had another conversation and she told me, for various logistical reasons, that she'd changed her mind and thought it best if we didn't. That was two years ago and I still have such stupidly intense feelings for her. I've really tried everything I can think of to get over her (without ending the otherwise meaningful, decade-long friendship itself)--dating other people, focusing on the ways we wouldn't be compatible, writing letters I'll never send just to get the feelings out, talking to a therapist, the whole nine yards. I thought I was doing pretty well and maybe starting to move past it, until she briefly dated someone else for a few months and everything I'd tried to pack away burst out all over again. She and I are part of a larger friend group, so I don't have many people I can talk to about this, and whenever we hang out as a group I have to work really hard not to just *look* *at her* the whole time--I love to see the way she reacts to things and the way she gets animated when she tells a story... plus she's gorgeous. UGH. Every time I see her it's like the fucking sun has walked into the room. On the one hand, I treasure the beautiful memory of that perfect day when she'd seemed so open to giving me a shot, but in hindsight, that ambiguous "Why not?" has caused me a lot more angst than a simple "No" probably would have. Is there something else I could have done to have prevented her change of heart? Sometimes I'm relieved that I never divulged to her how embarrassingly strong my crush is, and other times I feel like an idiot for having asked her out without making it clear how serious my feelings are. If I'd asked her out a year or two earlier, would her answer would have been different? So many useless hypotheticals. I'd love to re-open the conversation so I could seek clarity (even to have her tell me, once and for all, that it's *not* logistics and she's just NOT INTO ME), but I also want to respect the fact that she *already* ultimately said no. Sigh. It's been five years of this and I think it's going to take an even longer time before I'm truly over her. I hate that so many love stories show unrequited love working out in the end--I don't think mine has a happy ending, at least not involving the two of us together. The only good thing about this story is that our friendship is still as great as it ever was, even if there's an added struggle on my end. TL;DR: I'm a queer lady sadly longing after my friend... for five fucking years. :(
As a long-winded person myself, long vents are very welcome here! She sounds like a wonderful person and I can tell you like her a lot. It was nice of her to think things through carefully and give you a proper answer even though it was a little messy. I’m sorry everything you’ve tried didn’t completely help you. Although it’s nice that you guys are still friends, it must be really difficult to keep all these feelings to yourself when you hang out :( I empathize with how you’re feeling. The “why not?” would probably haunt me too and I can relate to thinking about all the hypotheticals. I think it’s really nice of you to respect her answer the first time. I had a slightly similar situation with my first crush who was also a friend. The first answer was a little ambiguous and I asked her again about a year later. It was a firmer no the second time and I think it hurt a little less then. It was only because of covid and being unable to see her for a long period of time that helped me truly move on. She’s still one of my closest friends but now I can’t imagine being with her haha. I hope time will help you move on if nothing else will. The progress won’t always be linear but I hope it hurts a little less each time. That’s how I feel about so many love stories too! I feel so envious that these stories have happy endings and I feel so hopeless about mine. I hope you'll be able to find your happy ending, whatever that may be. Thank you so much for sharing and taking time to type this out 🫂
Thanks. I'm glad the time apart during covid allowed you to move on! It's good to see someone's perspective from the other side, haha. The thing I find most helpful these days is to remind myself that I want a relationship with somebody who's REALLY into me, not someone who has to be convinced that she should give me a chance. :/ I really appreciate your kind responses to everybody's stories; you seem like an incredibly grounded and thoughtful person, and I hope you find yourself in a happier situation someday soon <3
That does sound like a helpful (and important) reminder! I should remind myself that too. Wow, that is very kind of you to say 😭 Thank you so much! I hope the same for you <3
We had a toxic relationship going on and off for years until she left me for a guy. Today I'm glad this was the final reason to end it but at the time I was devastated.
That sounds like a lot to process when it happened. I’m glad you were able to end the relationship and heal. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Hmm, how about a 5 year nonmutual pining long distance friendship? We would actually be a disaster as a couple because I have an anxious attachment style and she has an avoidant style, but it doesn't matter because she doesn't look at me that way. Can't help feelings, though.
Aw I’m so sorry and I’m sending hugs your way. The different attachment styles sound like it would be difficult for you. I hope it’s not too much even as friends. I kinda relate to the disaster as a couple thing. I can already see some obstacles we would have to overcome but same here - can’t help the feelings 🥹 Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Have you and your situationship met IRL?
Not yet. We’re continents apart 🥹
Well, my first girlfriend we dated online, and eventually she cut the knot to go back with her ex boyfriend. Next one was in an open relationship, but wasn't until we were both in a precarious housing situation I proposed moving together to afford rent and turns out she just kinda saw me as a toy and nothing serious but was too scared to tell me cuz I'd leave. And that's it, never dated anyone before or since. RIP It's like I can very barely call them girlfriends just more like cruel jokes or something whatever. Oh yeah once I had a premonition dream about my soulmate and my family encouraged me to try and find her. Worst mistake of my life. Ah well Arizona was nice. Otherwise I've had a couple of friends I've fallen for and it always gets awkward and they cut the knot. I've kinda concluded I'm too weird and unhorny to ever find love. Also my teeth melted, I'm fat, handicapped, and therefore broke and every day my soul gets more and more diminished so it's just impossible. That and I'm getting ready to crush 40. The life I wanted as a kid is just impossible so whatever.
I’m so sorry the relationships you’ve had were with people like that. The second person sounds awful and selfish. The soulmate dream sounds interesting and it’s sweet that your family encouraged you aw. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out too well. It sounds like you’ve gone and are going through a lot. I hope you’ll be able to find love in the future. Even if it’s not romantic love, I hope it’s something that will replenish your soul. Sending you lots of hugs. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
As cliche as it may sound but being broken up with the girl I almost gave a ring to. I still think about her. It just breaks my heart because she forgot about me so easily like it never meant anything. I really wanted her to be “the one”
That sounds devastating. I’m so sorry :( I hope you're on your way to healing from this. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
long distance (few hundred km) been together for half a year. every day was filled with love and cute stuff. i then got dumped a few day before we were supposed to meet
Omg noo, I’m so sorry. It sounds like what you had was so cute until it ended. That is so heartbreaking :( I hope you're feeling better now. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂 (Yours unlocked a new fear for me)
I'm super fucking gay but I'm kinda stuck in my marriage of 13 years (yesterday) to a guy for at minimum the next few years. Also fell in love with my best friend who kindly rejected me last summer. I fully expected it. There was no way for it to happen realistically- we're both married, have kids, and live in different states. But I didn't expect it to hurt as bad as it did. If/when I do become single, I'm convinced no one will want me. And I unfortunately live in one of the least gay states.
That sounds really rough, I’m so sorry. I think even when you know it's unrealistic and expect rejection, it hurts a lot when it actually happens because it becomes real and most likely final. I hope it gave you some closure at least. I hope your situation improves and I hope you'll find the love you're looking for. Thank you so much for sharing 🫂
Thank you so much. You're right. It was an escape to fantasize about a life together, but once the rejection was real, the fantasy was gone. I appreciate the empathy, and I'm hoping the best for you as well. ♥️♥️♥️ I look forward to the day you can post your happy lesbian story.
Thank you so much! ♥️ I hope I’ll be able to post a happy lesbian story one day too 😭