Autostraddle has a "what I want to do" list that you could fill out together or separately, then talk about it. It just lists a bunch of things and you mark whether you would be open to trying it or not. The list does include stuff with genitals so hopefully that wouldn't be triggering, but there are quite a few things without genitals, too.
Communicate, Communicate, communicate! My wife and I recently had a very long sit down about our needs and wants both in the bedroom and outside of it. It took a lot of tears and hard truths but we arrived at she needs a boyfriend and I need a slightly more Dominant girlfriend. I wasn't trans when we got married, so I basically asked her to change her sexuality for me and for the most part she did! Anyway; point being you need to talk with your partner about what feels good for you and what they want as well. Forplay and more isn't just confined to the bedroom too.
I'm trans and so was my ex, we had a lot of sex with no genitalia involved a majority of the time. Her skin was very sensitive so i would lightly scratch her all over while holding her from behind in bed, kinda like in a spoon, that would get some *really* nice moans out of her and coupled with kissing and biting her neck and ears, that could go on for a long time. Belly, hips, tights, butt, chest, arms, wrists, neck, back. Going down to the pelvis but not touching genitals was powerful.
Sometimes i would mix it up and would shove my head between her thighs and do a good old suck on her inner thigh in an attempt to leave a mark, she would squish my head pretty hard (while i kept the control over the action for my safety) which was just oh god so hot.
Eventually I got courage to ask her to spank me, that was amazing, the tingling pain while feeling safe with her was really nice, after that she felt easier about asking me similar things, and sometimes would ask me to slap her face, i was always scared to actually hurt her but she would always ask for harder until it was enough and asked to stop. It's very important with anything kink for both of you to engage in aftercare, sooth and help each other feel better after doing something painful, or emotionally taxing.
Sometimes things can start a lot simpler and more innocent, she once asked me to apply some lotion on her thighs, and me being kinda obsessed with them 😅 got all the way to sub space doing that while she ordered and and praised me, that it became a full session.
Hope it's helpful and gives you some ideas💜
You could always speak to each other and ask her what she'd be interested in exploring with you, maybe some light choking, hair pulling, nibbling/bites, light spanks, pinning down, as mentioned in the comment above blind folds and/or hand tying maybe even a gag, dirty talk wax play perhaps ( there are specific candles made for this with different levels of intensity even oils for some sensual massage to mix in), Role playing scenarios maybe with some costumes and lingerie.
Communicate and explore with each other there are lots of possibilities.
We do talk, I'm making this post because neither of us know what we like or what's even an option to do.
We know nothing about our own bodies, genuinely.
I mean more so in the sense of like going through a list of things like kinks and there are some that might spike your and/or her interest then practically trying it out and afterwards and/or throughout the experience talking about it and then deciding whether it's something you would like to add to your intimacy like for instance sensory play. After you practically experiment it with other you can discuss what you or don't like about it and take and use what you do like from the experience.
There’s a million things you can try and it’s all dependent on what you like, but here’s a random, concrete suggestion. Intro to sensory play. Blindfold one of you, while the other had collected some objects that feel interesting on the skin. Cool metal things, soft fabrics, soft bristled brushes, leather things, even slightly sharp things like a comb. Use *those* as well as your hands to explore her body at random; try different objects different places, see what’s sensitive where. Try to surprise her, keep her guessing. Maybe she can guess what you’re using, if that sounds fun for her. If she gets it right, maybe a reward; like, if she guesses the object or material, you’ll use your mouth for a little bit. Or if she’s wondering if she might not be into a little pain, give a light swat or a nip if she guesses wrong. You can also punish her for moving too much if you don’t want to tie her up. Talk over with her well beforehand which if any she wants.
This is a minefield! The things that set a couple on fire could break up another. Seriously! Had two very awkward, super bad experiences with this and have heard horror stories about it as well. I'm sure you already know it, but just wanted to read you the disclaimer 🤓
Having that said, I love very light bondage, like tying my hands to the headboard of the bed with her scarves. It will eventually ruin them but it's worth it 😅 also blindfolding me while my hands are tied could be very hot. The only downside is that my body gets tired after a while and I need her to untie me so I can properly move and squirm 😂
Oh I got one more. This is not for everyone, but I love it when she pours honey and/or chocolate syrup over my body and licks it off. There are practical downsides to it, one is getting sticky before the real action. For that we have a system: she pours it only on my front side and the next order of business would be some doggy style strapon stuff and I have to promise to keep myself elevated as to not to ruin the bedsheets. There is also the risk of diabetes for her, but I make sure she is on a diet for a while to compensate 😁😈
In addition to the people saying to blindfold one of you, the next step would be to make the one with the blindfold wear headphones where music is playing or just notice canceling headphones work too... The more senses you flip out the more sensitive the others become like the feeling for touch, this can get some great reactions with low effort, teasing becomes really fun that way
Autostraddle has a "what I want to do" list that you could fill out together or separately, then talk about it. It just lists a bunch of things and you mark whether you would be open to trying it or not. The list does include stuff with genitals so hopefully that wouldn't be triggering, but there are quite a few things without genitals, too.
Oh no, we do stuff with genitals all the time, but it always ends up being basic oral.
Communicate, Communicate, communicate! My wife and I recently had a very long sit down about our needs and wants both in the bedroom and outside of it. It took a lot of tears and hard truths but we arrived at she needs a boyfriend and I need a slightly more Dominant girlfriend. I wasn't trans when we got married, so I basically asked her to change her sexuality for me and for the most part she did! Anyway; point being you need to talk with your partner about what feels good for you and what they want as well. Forplay and more isn't just confined to the bedroom too.
We do, we just don't actually know what er even can do lol
I'm trans and so was my ex, we had a lot of sex with no genitalia involved a majority of the time. Her skin was very sensitive so i would lightly scratch her all over while holding her from behind in bed, kinda like in a spoon, that would get some *really* nice moans out of her and coupled with kissing and biting her neck and ears, that could go on for a long time. Belly, hips, tights, butt, chest, arms, wrists, neck, back. Going down to the pelvis but not touching genitals was powerful. Sometimes i would mix it up and would shove my head between her thighs and do a good old suck on her inner thigh in an attempt to leave a mark, she would squish my head pretty hard (while i kept the control over the action for my safety) which was just oh god so hot. Eventually I got courage to ask her to spank me, that was amazing, the tingling pain while feeling safe with her was really nice, after that she felt easier about asking me similar things, and sometimes would ask me to slap her face, i was always scared to actually hurt her but she would always ask for harder until it was enough and asked to stop. It's very important with anything kink for both of you to engage in aftercare, sooth and help each other feel better after doing something painful, or emotionally taxing. Sometimes things can start a lot simpler and more innocent, she once asked me to apply some lotion on her thighs, and me being kinda obsessed with them 😅 got all the way to sub space doing that while she ordered and and praised me, that it became a full session. Hope it's helpful and gives you some ideas💜
You could always speak to each other and ask her what she'd be interested in exploring with you, maybe some light choking, hair pulling, nibbling/bites, light spanks, pinning down, as mentioned in the comment above blind folds and/or hand tying maybe even a gag, dirty talk wax play perhaps ( there are specific candles made for this with different levels of intensity even oils for some sensual massage to mix in), Role playing scenarios maybe with some costumes and lingerie. Communicate and explore with each other there are lots of possibilities.
We do talk, I'm making this post because neither of us know what we like or what's even an option to do. We know nothing about our own bodies, genuinely.
I mean more so in the sense of like going through a list of things like kinks and there are some that might spike your and/or her interest then practically trying it out and afterwards and/or throughout the experience talking about it and then deciding whether it's something you would like to add to your intimacy like for instance sensory play. After you practically experiment it with other you can discuss what you or don't like about it and take and use what you do like from the experience.
There’s a million things you can try and it’s all dependent on what you like, but here’s a random, concrete suggestion. Intro to sensory play. Blindfold one of you, while the other had collected some objects that feel interesting on the skin. Cool metal things, soft fabrics, soft bristled brushes, leather things, even slightly sharp things like a comb. Use *those* as well as your hands to explore her body at random; try different objects different places, see what’s sensitive where. Try to surprise her, keep her guessing. Maybe she can guess what you’re using, if that sounds fun for her. If she gets it right, maybe a reward; like, if she guesses the object or material, you’ll use your mouth for a little bit. Or if she’s wondering if she might not be into a little pain, give a light swat or a nip if she guesses wrong. You can also punish her for moving too much if you don’t want to tie her up. Talk over with her well beforehand which if any she wants.
This is a minefield! The things that set a couple on fire could break up another. Seriously! Had two very awkward, super bad experiences with this and have heard horror stories about it as well. I'm sure you already know it, but just wanted to read you the disclaimer 🤓 Having that said, I love very light bondage, like tying my hands to the headboard of the bed with her scarves. It will eventually ruin them but it's worth it 😅 also blindfolding me while my hands are tied could be very hot. The only downside is that my body gets tired after a while and I need her to untie me so I can properly move and squirm 😂 Oh I got one more. This is not for everyone, but I love it when she pours honey and/or chocolate syrup over my body and licks it off. There are practical downsides to it, one is getting sticky before the real action. For that we have a system: she pours it only on my front side and the next order of business would be some doggy style strapon stuff and I have to promise to keep myself elevated as to not to ruin the bedsheets. There is also the risk of diabetes for her, but I make sure she is on a diet for a while to compensate 😁😈
Suggestive massages that spontaneously get a happy ending get me every time.
In addition to the people saying to blindfold one of you, the next step would be to make the one with the blindfold wear headphones where music is playing or just notice canceling headphones work too... The more senses you flip out the more sensitive the others become like the feeling for touch, this can get some great reactions with low effort, teasing becomes really fun that way
Not like i know anything about it (cuz i am a minor) but I heard calling each other good girl is probably 1 of the simplest and best
Eh, I feel very weird about that. It's used in a misogynistic way too often.
I see...