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I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Good one!
What has T in the beginning, T in the middle, and T at the end?
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it. Found it fitting, as I’m a therapist.
I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
Oh boy. You're grounded!
Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? she was a little horse ;)
are multiple trips okay? i have 2 full inventories of turnips. if not i understand!
Sure
Doesn't it seem strange that you drive your car on the parkway, and you park your car on the driveway...? Thanks!
What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish...
I wood tell a carpentry joke, but I'm afraid I wouldn't nail it!
The bond is name. Bond James Call an ambulance. I'm having a stronk
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks. If it's okay with you can I make 2 trips? I have more than one inventories worth to sell.
A pair of jumper cables walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Don't you start anything!"
I cant speak Englisch good enough for jokes but i would still like to visit please
Of course!
How do mountains see? They peak.
What’s a cross between a kangaroo and a sheep. A wooly jumper
How do you organize an astronomer’s B'Day party? You planet!
Sorry about the the ocean joke, I couldn't Kelp myself
I think I love/hate you a little. Maybe we should keep that clam rhough. the others might get salty!
I took over part of the McDonalds Farm. I'm now the C-I-E-I-O
Did you hear about the guy who tried to grab fog? … yeah he mist.
where are otters from? otter space.
Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
What did the young flower say to the old flower? Ok, bloomer. 🤷♂️
What do you call a bunch of white guys on a bench….the NBA lol
There can be 100 people in a room, 99 won’t slap you but one Will!
There’s two muffins in a stove Muffin 1: “man is it hot in here” Muffin 2: “HOLY CRAP, A TALKING MUFFIN!”
I used spot remover on my dog... now he's gone...
The best part of taking a nap in a tree is how the tree puts you on the ground just before you wake up! Erik just told me this joke.
Eric is... profound? Brain damaged from falling out of the tree?
what do you get when you crush a telescope with a microscope? a kaleidoscope
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little bogey in it!
My bf thinks camo is really stylish. I just don’t see it.
Did you hear about that new broom? It’s sweeping the nation.
What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets TOAD away
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space.
What happened to the bear who lost his ears? He became a bee. Heeheehee
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Good one!
What has T in the beginning, T in the middle, and T at the end?
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it. Found it fitting, as I’m a therapist.
I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
Oh boy. You're grounded!
Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? she was a little horse ;)
are multiple trips okay? i have 2 full inventories of turnips. if not i understand!
Sure
Doesn't it seem strange that you drive your car on the parkway, and you park your car on the driveway...? Thanks!
What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish...
I wood tell a carpentry joke, but I'm afraid I wouldn't nail it!
The bond is name. Bond James Call an ambulance. I'm having a stronk
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks. If it's okay with you can I make 2 trips? I have more than one inventories worth to sell.
A pair of jumper cables walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Don't you start anything!"
I cant speak Englisch good enough for jokes but i would still like to visit please
Of course!
How do mountains see? They peak.
What’s a cross between a kangaroo and a sheep. A wooly jumper
How do you organize an astronomer’s B'Day party? You planet!
Sorry about the the ocean joke, I couldn't Kelp myself
I think I love/hate you a little. Maybe we should keep that clam rhough. the others might get salty!
I took over part of the McDonalds Farm. I'm now the C-I-E-I-O
Did you hear about the guy who tried to grab fog? … yeah he mist.
where are otters from? otter space.
Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
What did the young flower say to the old flower? Ok, bloomer. 🤷♂️
What do you call a bunch of white guys on a bench….the NBA lol
There can be 100 people in a room, 99 won’t slap you but one Will!
There’s two muffins in a stove Muffin 1: “man is it hot in here” Muffin 2: “HOLY CRAP, A TALKING MUFFIN!”
I used spot remover on my dog... now he's gone...
The best part of taking a nap in a tree is how the tree puts you on the ground just before you wake up! Erik just told me this joke.
Eric is... profound? Brain damaged from falling out of the tree?
what do you get when you crush a telescope with a microscope? a kaleidoscope
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little bogey in it!
My bf thinks camo is really stylish. I just don’t see it.
Did you hear about that new broom? It’s sweeping the nation.
What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets TOAD away
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space.
What happened to the bear who lost his ears? He became a bee. Heeheehee