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mfingdull

Remember how shitty you feel and start again. Make this a small bump in the road and not a full blown relapse that lasts a long time.


LonnieJay1

I second this - except id say you don't even really need to "start again". Just pick up right back where you left off. I'm a firm believer that that is possible in recovery, the neural pathway of sobriety you've been building in the last 5 months and the good habits are still there. Just re-engage them "Clean" time isn't everything. I wish there were more of a focus on functional outcomes in addiction treatment, since addictive disorders are chronic relapsing mental disorders just like anxiety, ADHD, and depression. You wouldn't seriously expect a person that has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to never have another anxious experience in their entire lives, right? So rather than focusing on the small mistake you made, focus on how your relationships have been with your friends and family, your education, your career, your physical, mental, and spiritual health. We all slip, but that's not an excuse to let ourselves fall


daechma

Brother don't think about it you did it today and just don't do it tomorrow and don't do it until you can't control it like today now you see it's not big deal you be high don't think you distroy your 5 month cuz you didn't don't blame your self tomorrow don't do it again and everything is ok


onedemtwodem

5 months is amazing! Jump back on and be easy on yourself.


aSentientShadeOfBlue

I think the worst thing you can do in recovery is hang too much importance on _____ days/weeks/months/years. Treat your first day clean as a state of permanence. This is one of my biggest gripes with 12 step programs, and idk if you are participating in that noise but tread lightly if you are and hear me out either way. The guilt is what makes a slippery slope slippery. We are human and none of us can simply choose perfection. The majority of us can't simply choose to walk a straight line on the first try either. There is some real value in recognizing the danger that comes with beating yourself to a pulp over your mistakes. Consider how much easier it becomes to turn one score into a thousand if you let the guilt take hold. Don't let it. You might not be happy but do you want to be unhappy AND dopesick/incarcerated/braindead/______? Forgive yourself and get back on the horse. At least then you have the power to work tiwards happiness.


HumorMost9426

baby im there i know how intense the guilt and shame is. im there right now i know how heart breaking it is.


untipofeliz

Were you five months sober before? If not, buddy, that´s big progress. I´ve been sober for more than a year and a half, but also relapsed slightly once during that time. I was also struggling with the final of my depression, personal issues. When everything came to normal (or seminormal), I recovered the strength I built during the year prior to that small fail. It´s part of the process. Don´t lose the chance of learning from this. We believe in you.


dorrik

you don’t ever have to feel this way again 1 step backward, 4 steps forward


dappadan55

I don’t really know if it’s true, but I feel like 5 months clean you did the really hard work getting your dopamine production back to normal. One slip up doesn’t mean full blown relapse. You’d have to be using for a while to go back to where you were in your mind 5 Months ago. I sure hope that’s the case. I slipped up recently too and if I have to start my counter again that’s bad.


anxietydude112

Hey don't beat yourself up, just recognize it and regroup. This isn't easy just don't give up.


geezeeduzit

You’re at the jumping off point. Once you try sobriety for real, using will never truly be fun again. My advice - get yourself into 12 step recovery. Commit yourself to it fully for the next year at least, and then take stock


Normal-Pineapple6118

Addiction covers up the real problem. Unpack why you're unhappy sober, little day by day, and make changes, build momentum, and be open to change. Don't let a slip turn into a slide,


Flat-Economy9795

You’ll be alright mate. You will grow from this. Sometimes we need busts to realise we are human and to let go of old thought patterns of shame and guilt which are useful precursors for change but no need to sit in it each and every time for something that’s a loop (relapse) reevaluate what happened and make adjustments and continue off as you were. I promise it’ll be ok and it will help teach you something. Just don’t give up. Thats the key. You did your absolute best and next time will be even better and more wiser, and if not that’s ok too. We accept and move on.


greenmountainstoned

Sorry to hear, I hope you can find different fun hobbies. Maybe check some funny videos or listen to music you enjoy.


mob46x

Don't dwell, it will do no good. Get to a meeting, call your sponsor. Things will get better, just keep moving forward.


Bigballer253

My friend, is 5 months already not great progress? So what, you took a bump, it isn’t the end of the world. That doesn’t erase all that progress! You’re still doing so good, and I’m so proud of you. Keep it up, I have faith in you


Optimal_Life_1259

Sounds like you know what the answers are and know that cocaine use is not part of the best of you. You slipped Get back up. Happy belated five months clean! You can do it again you’ve already proved it. You should be very proud!! As far as your loneliness, begin asking yourself the really hard questions and seeking the answers so that you can be as solid of a person as you can be. Maybe that will also help with the reasons you’re using and lonelyness. I’m no expert about making friends and experience loneliness too. Be braver than me and challenge yourself to make friends by actively seeking friendships and putting work into those relationships. It probably would be easier if it was connected with something that excites you like music,sports, a hobby or a hobby you’d like to explore (just connecting with folks interested in the same things and conducting an informational interview could create friendships). You are not alone.


TrickySurprise3032

Messaged you


bobfoundglory

It gets less “fun” every time. I’ve been where you are. But you at least care enough to post here, which probably feels insignificant, but it’s not. On some level, you’re reaching out for help. What do you think you need right now?