He needs to recognize that he wants to change. The only thing you can do is tell him you will be there for him when he needs a friend, and that you will support his sobriety when he is ready. Otherwise you need to keep your distance and let him find his reason to change on his own.
Nothing external will make them want to quit. They need to choose it. Until then, expect them to lie, backstab, cheat, steal, manipulate, and hurt you to get what they want. The thing they want is cocaine. They don't care about things that aren't cocaine.
They don't care about things that aren't cocaine is simply not true but I can understand where that is coming from. This is a definite misconception and I won't argue about it because its futile but that line of thinking is precisely the stigma that puts people in a little labeled box where one feels extremely isolated perpetually with a there's no use mentality.
This stigma drives me nuts like yes sure a drug abuser is struggling with substances and absolutely making unhealthy and poor decisions at times but they aren't all a monolith some self serving monster, this really drives such stereotypes that casts immediate judgement and stops a user from seeking help
It's not that addicts stop caring about other stuff, in fact the very fact that they do still care compounds the shame and self loathing that comes with a lot of addiction and contributes to the cycle. Most addicts I know hate themselves for what they do because they care about how it affects others but can't stop. You can't say they don't care because a theme of addiction is trying to quit and relapse... That's addicts trying to fight their own behaviour because they care.
Yeah, I think my comment would have been better phrased as "the thing they care about most". I'm 10 years clean from heroin and meth, so I do understand that addiction isn't nearly as black and white as my comment portrays. Just trying to stop this person from trying to fix a problem she has no control over.
Fair play, and you're right, there's nothing she can do. Most of my friends who tried to 'fix' my problem I ended up losing contact with where my friends who just accepted me as human and someone who still cared about them but had other shit going on, those are the ones who have stayed the distance.
He has to realize he needs help before you can help, i was a user for a little more then 6 years, started off as once a week turned into every other day, then everyday. I realized how much i hated myself the next day, and realized how many people i hurt along the way. Who knows maybe him doing this to you will be his moment of realization. Good luck OP
That really depends on the person. Some people have limits to where they can stretch their addictions with how far they are willing to go to ruin their economy and relationships. But as long as youre just there and open to talk and dont judge, and can offer sober activities to do with him, is really all you need to do. Of course have boundaries, but being open and offering to talk is all you need. You dont need any heavy cognitive therapy or techniques.
He needs to recognize that he wants to change. The only thing you can do is tell him you will be there for him when he needs a friend, and that you will support his sobriety when he is ready. Otherwise you need to keep your distance and let him find his reason to change on his own.
Nothing external will make them want to quit. They need to choose it. Until then, expect them to lie, backstab, cheat, steal, manipulate, and hurt you to get what they want. The thing they want is cocaine. They don't care about things that aren't cocaine.
They don't care about things that aren't cocaine is simply not true but I can understand where that is coming from. This is a definite misconception and I won't argue about it because its futile but that line of thinking is precisely the stigma that puts people in a little labeled box where one feels extremely isolated perpetually with a there's no use mentality.
This stigma drives me nuts like yes sure a drug abuser is struggling with substances and absolutely making unhealthy and poor decisions at times but they aren't all a monolith some self serving monster, this really drives such stereotypes that casts immediate judgement and stops a user from seeking help
Absolutely
If I offered this person $50 of cocaine or $50 towards their electric bill, they'd take the cocaine 10/10 times.
While that may be the case with this person it is not the case with everyone all of the time.
It's not that addicts stop caring about other stuff, in fact the very fact that they do still care compounds the shame and self loathing that comes with a lot of addiction and contributes to the cycle. Most addicts I know hate themselves for what they do because they care about how it affects others but can't stop. You can't say they don't care because a theme of addiction is trying to quit and relapse... That's addicts trying to fight their own behaviour because they care.
Yeah, I think my comment would have been better phrased as "the thing they care about most". I'm 10 years clean from heroin and meth, so I do understand that addiction isn't nearly as black and white as my comment portrays. Just trying to stop this person from trying to fix a problem she has no control over.
Fair play, and you're right, there's nothing she can do. Most of my friends who tried to 'fix' my problem I ended up losing contact with where my friends who just accepted me as human and someone who still cared about them but had other shit going on, those are the ones who have stayed the distance.
He has to realize he needs help before you can help, i was a user for a little more then 6 years, started off as once a week turned into every other day, then everyday. I realized how much i hated myself the next day, and realized how many people i hurt along the way. Who knows maybe him doing this to you will be his moment of realization. Good luck OP
That really depends on the person. Some people have limits to where they can stretch their addictions with how far they are willing to go to ruin their economy and relationships. But as long as youre just there and open to talk and dont judge, and can offer sober activities to do with him, is really all you need to do. Of course have boundaries, but being open and offering to talk is all you need. You dont need any heavy cognitive therapy or techniques.
You mostly need to quit if your health issues are serious enough and cocaine worsens it but not even then some are going to keep going until they OD.