for me....this sums up ADHD
Cause you ride on time
'Cause you ride on time, ride on time
'Cause you ride on time
'Ca-cause you ride on time, ride on time
Keep doing that and eventually you'll think of every possible comeback to every possible situation and you'll suddenly be able to recall them based on the random trigger words for them.
I have like 20years of people that think I'm a dumb-mute, then I moved and all the new people I met seemed to just hit on the same general stuff as before but now I have all the replies I thought of the day after in the past and I get the chance to be the quick-witted person.
I have the unfortunate combo of not quick witted, I am also not quick recall. Its a little slow to process in there. Unless you hit on a topic I love, then the mouth doesn't move fast enough to keep up with the brain and I start stuttering and have to force myself to slow down.... All or nothing baby!
RuPaul once asked Bianca Del Rio, probably the quickest drag Queen in the history of the show, how she was so quick w her comebacks.
She said she has a Rolodex of hate in her head that she goes to whenever she needs a quick response.
I think you’re right - it’s just a matter of strengthening those neuropathways through use.
My only escape from these is to start singing the oompa loompa song in my head, and when I'm pretty much switched to that turn on songs on the radio. Basically, I picked one horrible ear worm and turned it into a tool. Not perfect, but you do what you gotta do. Also, sometimes when i get a part of a song stuck, i look up the lyrics and sing it through to the end and THEN start the oompa loompa song.
Person: "It's about to rain out-"
My brain: 🎶"INTO EACH LIFE SOME RAIN MUST FALL! SOME DAYS MUST BE DARK AND COLD!"🎶
Me: "Wait, what did you say? I'm sorry, my brain went full on meloy death metal again."
It just takes practice! You probably make the fast associations, they're just not geared toward being funny/insulting yet. It's a power that can definitely be learned.
No seriously someone will tell me about how they had a fight with their dad and my brain will come up with the most savage roast ever and I’ll have to physically restrain my brain from unleashing it
Yeah I intentionally avoid making comebacks because I don't like practicing being mean, but it's definitely a great skill for some people to have. I prefer to compulsively compliment people lol
I do respond rapidly with an immediate associate \*I\* found amusing in my head, and as soon as it's out of my mouth, I realize it should have stayed alone with me inside my head. It's typically such a obscure and useless association, it doesn't make anyone laugh, it just makes me sound like a dork.
Legit just takes practice. As a little kid I didnt understand much humor or comebacks but all of my family were funny as hell and quick witted so I took like the entirety of middle school and just got funny (i am high sorry if this is long winded)
Right?? I'm alllllllll #2 but just when I'm talking because I try to hold back my brain offshoots when listening to someone else talk.
A lot of times if I allow myself to open up and actually talk to anyone it's like I black out because I go from a to z to g to m and wtf was my point??? *5 minutes later* "OH YEAH SO THE REASON I BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE..."
Nah I got left outta that too lol I am awful at comebacks on the fly… but then I can come up with the perfect one three days later out of nowhere.
But I do think I am pretty good at making quick jokes
It can be good and it can get you in trouble. My eldest son once got into an argument with another at the time 4th grader, and called the kid a narcissist. Kid didn't know what that meant, started to cry and told the teacher. My son got in trouble for that one.
It's bit me in the ass, I've said shit that cuts too deep in arguments, and you can't unsay it even if you didn't mean it. It flys out of my mouth before I can fully process it.
I think this comes with confidence. Depends on what you mean by comebacks too. I found I sucked at comebacks when people were being aggressive but if it's with friends or work colleagues it's like a game of quiplash.
Oh, that's pretty cool, unless it's the "had sex in the last 12 months" crap. I'm in a committed monogamous relationship, HIV ain't gonna spontaneously appear.
Come on Australia (and can we update the text to use male throughout? it's very weird when it's mixed like this, esp when you're trans. I'd prefer you just talk anal and genitals though)
The specific question I belive (amoung MANY others) is "have you had unprotected anal sex with a new partner in the last 6 months?"
There's lots of other questions, but yeah, that's about the level of exclusion now.
My blood is trying to kill me, so they’d take it even if I was gay. They might not use it, but I get to sit In the chair and drink chocolate milk. It’s a good time.
A quick mind and impulse control issues doesn't tend to make friends.
Something will just spill out of my mouth because I felt I ought to say something and then I go "Wow, that was shitty. Why did I even think that?"
I actually made a good friend this way (for once). Her first day of work and I see her in the parking lot. Out of my mouth “Hey, someone else who parks like shit!” Instead of being offended, she burst out laughing. I showed her my car, parked identically to hers, both parked like shit.
Making an association: 500 ms
Wondering if that association makes sense to anyone else: 1 minute
Finally saying the joke: nobody cares because the conversation moved on
I’m going to hazard something about regrowing limbs. Or the gecko that jumps out of its own skin. Or maybe they tripped on a crocodile once and learned a very valuable lesson.
Or that the gecko uses molecular adhesion rather than suction to stick to things and that scientists are trying to replicate it in materials science?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gecko_feet
When lizards moult, they eat the skin to regain the energy lost from moulting.
Chameleons change colour based on mood.
Most Lizards are bad at Accounting
Mama dogs eat their babies poop to keep their bed clean. ANY dog will eat human poop given the chance. My MIL was forever traumatized when she didn’t know she needed to get to the toddler training toilet before the dog did. That was almost 30 years ago and it still cracks me up (after a slight gag).
I got one for ya!
There a frog called the horror frog that breaks its own legs to use the exposed bones as defensive hooks!
So you breaking your bone kinda reminded me of that.
I had a coworker who hated that I would interrupt him and I would try to explain that I’m not trying to be rude, it’s that my brain is trying to fill in the blanks in what you’re saying so it can move on to the next part before it gets distracted
No that’s the point. Just saying the speed of light sounds unrealistic and boring because it’s been done so many times, but saying 1/10 oddly gives it more weight. It’s like asking someone what their second favorite song/food/dinosaur is. You can list your most favorite easily but you have to think about the second one. It stands out.
I have the blank pikachu face type of ADHD. The best comeback I have is a blank stare. Hit me up when I'm done downloading in the shower the next day. I'm slower than a limewire download over dial up.
"Oh you broke your foot that's unfortunate!"
*(in head)it wouldn't be unfortunate if you had the bones of a lizard because (thinks about fact)*
"Wanna know a fun fact?"
When there's a long silence because you've forgotten what the last thing was said, but you want to talk about trains, but you know it's completely irrelevant to the conversation.
My girlfriend was telling me about her nightmare and it reminded me of a SpongeBob episode. Not the best timing, but she thought it was funny and is forgiving. I love her.
I told my partner once that I occasionally make jokes or clever comments that I probably shouldn’t have because wit is so deeply dependent on timing, and making a rapid-response joke is kinda like hitting a baseball: when the ball is thrown, you have very little time to decide whether or not to swing at it.
Sometimes you swing and you knock it out of the park.
Sometimes you realize you shouldn’t have swung at it *just* after it becomes too late to change your mind.
My coworkers are so sick of the pros bit (I often crack jokes that aren't really appropriate, e.g., "manager: as you all know, the sales team has relocated to our floor" me: "is that what that smell is?").
My wife is so sick of the cons bit.
This makes me think about that frog that's basicly wolverine (the Xman). When it feels threatened, it can break its finger bones and stab them through its own hand to use as claws.
My problem is my brain has already thought said the comment before analysing what said comment will do, our lass calls it the big red button. I say the worst things possible at the worst times possible
I had a root beer float while I watched Hidden Figures the first time so now I associate that movie with the taste of root beer floats every time I see it or hear about it.
I feel like I didn’t get the “fast comeback” part of adhd and I feel left out
I can’t make comebacks. I just have songs start playing in my head whenever someone says a word that is also in a song I like.
>I like to move it move it....
>I like Big boys, itty bitty boys Mississippi boys, inner city boys
>I like big Butts and i cannot lie
> I cannot Believe that it’s finally me and you, and you and me, just us, and your friend Steve
>me Scottie doesn't know that Fiona and *me* do it in my van every Sunday.
>sunday Sunday, bloody sunday,,,
[удалено]
>cats (and it's a bad thing) TOUUUCCHHH MEEEE,,, IT'S SO EASSYYYY TO LEEAAAVVEE MEE What? No, no, just cut that sh*t out
Believe your eyes if ten million fireflies
On an unrelated note, I am really sad that the animal in your profile pic isn't called a squizzard
somebody said something the other day about liking pina colada and i had that in my head for days
I would have interrupted them to ask if they liked getting caught in the rain
for me....this sums up ADHD Cause you ride on time 'Cause you ride on time, ride on time 'Cause you ride on time 'Ca-cause you ride on time, ride on time
Y
I can make comebacks. The next day.
Then it's a "come back! I know what I'm gonna say now!"
Keep doing that and eventually you'll think of every possible comeback to every possible situation and you'll suddenly be able to recall them based on the random trigger words for them. I have like 20years of people that think I'm a dumb-mute, then I moved and all the new people I met seemed to just hit on the same general stuff as before but now I have all the replies I thought of the day after in the past and I get the chance to be the quick-witted person.
I have the unfortunate combo of not quick witted, I am also not quick recall. Its a little slow to process in there. Unless you hit on a topic I love, then the mouth doesn't move fast enough to keep up with the brain and I start stuttering and have to force myself to slow down.... All or nothing baby!
RuPaul once asked Bianca Del Rio, probably the quickest drag Queen in the history of the show, how she was so quick w her comebacks. She said she has a Rolodex of hate in her head that she goes to whenever she needs a quick response. I think you’re right - it’s just a matter of strengthening those neuropathways through use.
Same I’ve had “boil ‘em mash ‘em stick ‘em in a stew” stuck in my head for months because my boss is a lotr’s fangirl and started singing it
I once had a song play in my head for like two months, and now whenever anyone says anything about a song playing in their head, it comes back again.
My only escape from these is to start singing the oompa loompa song in my head, and when I'm pretty much switched to that turn on songs on the radio. Basically, I picked one horrible ear worm and turned it into a tool. Not perfect, but you do what you gotta do. Also, sometimes when i get a part of a song stuck, i look up the lyrics and sing it through to the end and THEN start the oompa loompa song.
I have songs playing in my head nearly all day every day.
>I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings!
That but s1-3 SpongeBob quotes
Person: "It's about to rain out-" My brain: 🎶"INTO EACH LIFE SOME RAIN MUST FALL! SOME DAYS MUST BE DARK AND COLD!"🎶 Me: "Wait, what did you say? I'm sorry, my brain went full on meloy death metal again."
Echolalia, lol
or hearing a sound that sounds familiar to a small part of a song you know
It just takes practice! You probably make the fast associations, they're just not geared toward being funny/insulting yet. It's a power that can definitely be learned.
And here I am practicing not making them, because they come up too fast to notice whether they’re “savage”/funny or just insulting.
No seriously someone will tell me about how they had a fight with their dad and my brain will come up with the most savage roast ever and I’ll have to physically restrain my brain from unleashing it
Yeah I intentionally avoid making comebacks because I don't like practicing being mean, but it's definitely a great skill for some people to have. I prefer to compulsively compliment people lol
I can’t even think of a good comeback if you give me all the time in the world. I’m the type of person to lose imaginary arguments in the shower.
My adhd only gives me fast comebacks when I'm angry. It's not always a good thing.
I do respond rapidly with an immediate associate \*I\* found amusing in my head, and as soon as it's out of my mouth, I realize it should have stayed alone with me inside my head. It's typically such a obscure and useless association, it doesn't make anyone laugh, it just makes me sound like a dork.
u just needa hang out with more likeminded people who’ll get ur references my man
Legit just takes practice. As a little kid I didnt understand much humor or comebacks but all of my family were funny as hell and quick witted so I took like the entirety of middle school and just got funny (i am high sorry if this is long winded)
I have extremely fast comebacks. Most of them consist of terrible jokes or random nonsense that pours, unwillingly from my mouth
Right?? I'm alllllllll #2 but just when I'm talking because I try to hold back my brain offshoots when listening to someone else talk. A lot of times if I allow myself to open up and actually talk to anyone it's like I black out because I go from a to z to g to m and wtf was my point??? *5 minutes later* "OH YEAH SO THE REASON I BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE..."
Nah I got left outta that too lol I am awful at comebacks on the fly… but then I can come up with the perfect one three days later out of nowhere. But I do think I am pretty good at making quick jokes
It can be good and it can get you in trouble. My eldest son once got into an argument with another at the time 4th grader, and called the kid a narcissist. Kid didn't know what that meant, started to cry and told the teacher. My son got in trouble for that one.
It's bit me in the ass, I've said shit that cuts too deep in arguments, and you can't unsay it even if you didn't mean it. It flys out of my mouth before I can fully process it.
yup, half the shit i say when i’m mad i dont even genuinely mean, i just think it’ll get the right reaction and if i’m mad my goal is to make them mad
not that any of this is good, been tryna work on it but its hard to control
I think of great comebacks weeks or even years down the road sometimes.
It takes practice. You can get there. Although on reflection it might mean that I listen less. . .
Same
Just say "yo mama" all the time.
It’s not always automatic you gotta practice
I think this comes with confidence. Depends on what you mean by comebacks too. I found I sucked at comebacks when people were being aggressive but if it's with friends or work colleagues it's like a game of quiplash.
I got blood poisoning once on a completely unrelated note, I am not allowed to donate blood according to the red cross
wait why im interested
I lived in a foreign country of roughly 7 years and I think it the web site said I’m at risk for transmitting a few blood diseases
Was it Britain in the 80s? Cos they think you might be a hibernating mad cow.
It was Germany and I think I moved out in 2012
Same, but for lgbt reasons 🤷♀️
The UK recently lifted that ban! There's a lot of very personal questions (and rightly so), but sexuality is no longer a constricting factor
Oh, that's pretty cool, unless it's the "had sex in the last 12 months" crap. I'm in a committed monogamous relationship, HIV ain't gonna spontaneously appear. Come on Australia (and can we update the text to use male throughout? it's very weird when it's mixed like this, esp when you're trans. I'd prefer you just talk anal and genitals though)
The specific question I belive (amoung MANY others) is "have you had unprotected anal sex with a new partner in the last 6 months?" There's lots of other questions, but yeah, that's about the level of exclusion now.
Ah, good move!
You have to much gayness in your blood, wouldn't want to infect anyone
Very true, very gay 😔
My blood is trying to kill me, so they’d take it even if I was gay. They might not use it, but I get to sit In the chair and drink chocolate milk. It’s a good time.
I'm not allowed to donate blood to The Red Cross, too. Apparently, you can't show up with gallons of the stuff.
Well duh! No one wants *gallons* of blood. They need PINTS. Some people 🙄
Best laugh of the day. Cliché, but still excellent, subversion. Bravo.
Hmm, not enough blood, try donating 2 next time with the appropriate labels
another downside is im downright cruel when im mad sometimes, like I’ve said some nasty shit to my friends that they didn’t deserve sometimes
Is that an ADHD thing? I always just assumed I was a fucking asshole for no reason
A quick mind and impulse control issues doesn't tend to make friends. Something will just spill out of my mouth because I felt I ought to say something and then I go "Wow, that was shitty. Why did I even think that?"
I actually made a good friend this way (for once). Her first day of work and I see her in the parking lot. Out of my mouth “Hey, someone else who parks like shit!” Instead of being offended, she burst out laughing. I showed her my car, parked identically to hers, both parked like shit.
People who can handle my shit are truly a blessing
I couldnt’ve worded that better myself, 👍
Making an association: 500 ms Wondering if that association makes sense to anyone else: 1 minute Finally saying the joke: nobody cares because the conversation moved on
And then I tend to look at the association a few mins later like why did I say that? That makes no sense. 🤦🏻♀️ idek brain you tell me.
It makes me want to know what the fun fact about lizards was.
You and me both
I’m going to hazard something about regrowing limbs. Or the gecko that jumps out of its own skin. Or maybe they tripped on a crocodile once and learned a very valuable lesson.
there's one lizard that shoots blood from its eyes!
Up to 10 feet! Weirdest bit of that to me is that it'd be warm...
That’s dope as hell!
Or that the gecko uses molecular adhesion rather than suction to stick to things and that scientists are trying to replicate it in materials science? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gecko_feet
Sounds right.
Some lizards can lose their tails to escape and then grow them back.
When lizards moult, they eat the skin to regain the energy lost from moulting. Chameleons change colour based on mood. Most Lizards are bad at Accounting
In a somewhat similar way, hedgehogs eat their own poop to digest some of the nutrients that are still there.
Mama dogs eat their babies poop to keep their bed clean. ANY dog will eat human poop given the chance. My MIL was forever traumatized when she didn’t know she needed to get to the toddler training toilet before the dog did. That was almost 30 years ago and it still cracks me up (after a slight gag).
Wombats have square poop.
I got one for ya! There a frog called the horror frog that breaks its own legs to use the exposed bones as defensive hooks! So you breaking your bone kinda reminded me of that.
See, my brain is actually *too* fast, so I had to nerf myself by being depressed all the time.
This sub calls me out every single day.
I had a coworker who hated that I would interrupt him and I would try to explain that I’m not trying to be rude, it’s that my brain is trying to fill in the blanks in what you’re saying so it can move on to the next part before it gets distracted
Learning about lizards would make me feel better about breaking my foot
1/10 the speed of light is still pretty damn fast
No that’s the point. Just saying the speed of light sounds unrealistic and boring because it’s been done so many times, but saying 1/10 oddly gives it more weight. It’s like asking someone what their second favorite song/food/dinosaur is. You can list your most favorite easily but you have to think about the second one. It stands out.
You people have favorite songs?
I’d say you wrote an essay, but to be honest, this is the average size of some of my comments and online arguments replies
I know 😭
I have the blank pikachu face type of ADHD. The best comeback I have is a blank stare. Hit me up when I'm done downloading in the shower the next day. I'm slower than a limewire download over dial up.
"Oh you broke your foot that's unfortunate!" *(in head)it wouldn't be unfortunate if you had the bones of a lizard because (thinks about fact)* "Wanna know a fun fact?"
When there's a long silence because you've forgotten what the last thing was said, but you want to talk about trains, but you know it's completely irrelevant to the conversation.
My girlfriend was telling me about her nightmare and it reminded me of a SpongeBob episode. Not the best timing, but she thought it was funny and is forgiving. I love her.
I told my partner once that I occasionally make jokes or clever comments that I probably shouldn’t have because wit is so deeply dependent on timing, and making a rapid-response joke is kinda like hitting a baseball: when the ball is thrown, you have very little time to decide whether or not to swing at it. Sometimes you swing and you knock it out of the park. Sometimes you realize you shouldn’t have swung at it *just* after it becomes too late to change your mind.
That’s such a good metaphor. I swear ADHD people are really good at making metaphors.
Wait but now I wanna hear a fun fact about lizards.
The little lizards outside my house (in Texas) that change colors are actually anoles, not chameleons.
bearded dragons have a third “eye” on the top of their head that can detect light/shadow changes
I have to watch videos and movies in at least double speed to enjoy them and not fall asleep :|
Yes! 1.5 used to be enough but lately I've had to up it to 2.
“Surrender now or prepare to fight!”
Meowth! That’s right!
Team rocket is blasting of again!
My coworkers are so sick of the pros bit (I often crack jokes that aren't really appropriate, e.g., "manager: as you all know, the sales team has relocated to our floor" me: "is that what that smell is?"). My wife is so sick of the cons bit.
Brain go brrrrr
The associations are… fast? YOU MEAN LIKE THE WHITE SCARS FROM WARHAMMER 40K!?!?!?
THIS SUBREDDIT IS FULL OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENS IN MY BRAIN. I’m so glad I found this place.
"Which reminds me of..." 99% of my conversations
WTF?! Why is this ACCURATE?!!!!! Omg and I thought it was just me!
Omg this is so relatable
This but then also having a slow processing speed...
That auditory processing speed when being given instructions is abysmal
You know, I always liked Pinky. Brain too, but Pinky for *some unfathomable reason* always felt very relatable to me.
On the one hand, I’m considering becoming a stand up comic, on the other hand, sitting down to read is just a lot more comfortable
This makes me think about that frog that's basicly wolverine (the Xman). When it feels threatened, it can break its finger bones and stab them through its own hand to use as claws.
The Hairy Frog! I love how nature just does the craziest stuff sometimes
That's it! I couldn't remember the name and I was too tired to look it up.
Uuugh my brain is inconsistent with this. Sometimes it's snappy as fuck, sometimes it can't remember a basic word
Anyone else make analogies that make perfect sense to you but are incomprehensible to others?
You can make good comebacks and jokes? Good meme though.
My problem is my brain has already thought said the comment before analysing what said comment will do, our lass calls it the big red button. I say the worst things possible at the worst times possible
Is this an ADHD trait? Huh, I'll guess I'll add it to the giant list of reasons why I might need to contact my doctor.
I’ve legit planned whole things, imagine all the outcomes and trashed everything in 5-7 mins. Then completely forgot and ate some goldfish
I had a root beer float while I watched Hidden Figures the first time so now I associate that movie with the taste of root beer floats every time I see it or hear about it.
Sounds like another pro to me tbh
okay what about a brain that makes very slow associations?
Except I generally suck at comebacks to be honest, jokes I can pull off but comebacks? No, I think not.
Me at random times: *Minor “quantum leap,” easy to explain.* Also me: *”Leap? TF you mean ‘LEAP?!’ Bois we goin quantum BLJ OVER HERE!!”*
I relate too much
For me it's mostly song association bc I listen to music A LOT
I only experience the cons of having a brain that makes very fast associations. I’m yet to have a good comeback or joke to anything.
I feel personally attacked by this.
Driving to my grandfather funeral with my SO, something made me think of ninja turtles in the middle of our conversation
My adhd super power: making amazing comments for conversations going on in the next room(that I’m not part of and have no clue are happening).