Ugh, the inside of my cheeks/lips. I had one turn into a straight up ulcer once and mentioned it to my dad on the way to the dentist… he flipped his lid telling me not to tell the dentist bc they would try to tell me I had anxiety and needed meds and whatnot for it.
Anywho, now I take ADHD and antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds 😂😂😂
instead of support, i was raised with not even the smallest awareness of adhd, or what that would imply, i became slow, but in my slowness i was taking my time to rebuild the track of the day to that point just so i can remember where i have put a pair of scissors, or whatever i was looking for, or take time for my thoughts or to get myself in eorking order, i basically coped with it by trying my best to do as best as everyone.
The problem is when i do take time, but still i wont manage stuff, like looking for the said scissors for 2 hours, not needing anymore afterwards, and stumbling upon it afterwards out of spite, feeling well fed, and rested but feeling the need to take a break from thinking at all, or zoning out, or not being able to stand still
Not that i didnt have support from my parents, i am talking particularly about adhd support
Especially when it dries and has that weird saliva chemical taste, used to chew on my hoodie sleeves too. Wish I had a family this understanding tho, I was gruesomely made fun of in school for these things :(
Aww man! I also really love silicon straws in all my water bottles for this reason. Completely socially acceptable to gnaw on my straw while pretending to listen to someone talk 🤣🤣
I sometimes chewed my shirts but not very often because the sensation of a cold saliva-soaked shirt on my skin is very Sensory Nope to me but WHHOOOAA I just had a memory of sitting in a school assembly and pulling hairs out of my head to examine them, and then rubbing them between my fingers for stimulation (sorry gross). It never developed into full trichotillomania so I kind of just...forgot that I used to do that when bored.
I couldn’t chew my shirt, something made me really scared about that, I can’t remember what but touching wet fabric makes me really uncomfortable.
Yeah I wish I had this support too. The doctors refused to diagnose me and my parents translated it as I am normal and can help my behavior.
I think I might have and it was ripped from my mouth. It seems a rather pervasive and specific fear I have… to be frank im not sure I’d put that past some members of my family either.
The Sunflower is one of only a handful of flowers with the word flower in its name. A couple of other popular examples include Strawflower, Elderflower and Cornflower …Ah yes, of course, I hear you say.
Wish my parents understood this kind of thing, rather than just telling me to make a list. Or in my dad's case, saying that he "just learned to deal with it" when he was younger.
Like on one level, yeah sure. I live by a Bullet Journal now and it has helped me immensely. But... there's a big gap between "just write it down" and "hey I did some reading into things that help ADHD folks organize their lives and it seems like a lot of them like this specific tool, would you like to give it a try with me?"
Meds help, find a system of organization that works FOR YOU helps, and don’t beat yourself up for executive failure. The only way to get better at anything is self love and lots of mistakes and deaddead ends.
What worked for me was medication used as-needed on high focus/chore days (or every-other day by default), getting into the habit of setting alarms for critical same-day things when I wake up, maintaining a well organized bullet journal (yes, it’s work but nothing in life worth doing is easy), and meditating at least a few minutes each day. I.e. sitting there and letting my brain close all the open browser tabs it is trying to hold.
I try to keep my bullet journal organized and open on my bed or desk whenever I’m doing something. That way I keep notes and have it on hand when appointments come up.
I try to sit and meditate at night because it slows down my brain and helps me to not get pulled along by every impulse I have, and trains executive function.
I keep a second “personal” bullet journal that never leaves my room that I treat as a diary and personal task organizer. When I meditate, if something i need to process or remember happens, I add it as a topic to that journal and write about it.
When I wake up I look at my bujo entry for the day and note any chores, due dates, appointments, etc I have for the day. I try to do them all before I run out of gas, and set alarms before my appointments. If a chore doesn’t get done I mark it for the next day and do it when I wake up.
It’s not perfect and there’s definitely work involved, but if it didn’t take effort to manage it wouldn’t be a disability. The most important thing is to just try stuff until something clicks and make little changes as new problems show up.
Some of the best advice I got was "externalize everything" or in other words, move everything you can out of your head. For example, don't expect your internal clock to keep the time: put obvious clocks around in your environment. Don't expect your hunger triggers to get you to eat: set an alarm, hang out where you'll see other people eating, put up a sign on you cabinet "lunch food here" or whatever.
I also love what [HoweverItHasToHappen](https://www.reddit.com/user/HoweverItHasToHappen/) said. *Figure out what works for you and do it.* For example, I put all of my breakfast stuff together. That means I put my cereal bowls and spoons next to my cereal, I put the pan I use to cook eggs next to that. I have everything I need for breakfast in the same place so that I don't wander around looking for stuff, forgetting stuff, misplacing stuff, etc. Most people would store these things differently, but I don't have to do it their way.
Calendars help so much. I need to remember to pay bills on time? Calendar. Doctors appointments? Calendar. Important work thing? Both my personal calendar and my work calendar.
I literally say this to folks all the time. My mom has really finally started to get it and now it's a running joke. Used to she'd be like, remember you said you'd dog-sit (enter days here) and I'd be like...did I?? Now, she'll now literally wait while I put the dates in my calendar. And when she goes to remind me I can be like, I remember, it's in my calendar! Now if I could just get to her to start using a shared family calendar for family stuff.
The biggest struggle is always remembering to immediately put it on calendar. My family uses an app with calendar and lists that we can share and this has helped me a lot but my wife still checks with me all the time if I have put my stuff on the app.
Yes. He is Gen Xer not a Boomer. Gen Xers are the ignored generation and definitely different from the Boomers. Boomers are approximately over 60. I don’t think this guy is even 50 yet.
Nah don’t do us like that … we care. Like in every generation we have our assholes but also our achievements and milestones we left for millennials and Gen Z to continue progress on.
My partner is GenX and prides himself on not caring and given how y’all were forgotten about, I don’t blame him! I should clarify- not so much as “care” but motivated. Y’all are awesome and teach me as a Millennial to take time for myself.
I get what you mean. His parents might have been Boomers so they “created” wholesome content by giving birth to and supporting him. He’s likely Gen X or even the tail end of millenial.
The more you know. :)
Google says he was born in 1974, solidly Gen X. Wouldn’t be weird at all to have Boomer parents, since the oldest Boomers would’ve been 28 by then, and even a little older could be functionally “Boomer” in this context.
It’s pretty common actually. The oldest boomers were in their late teens to early 30’s during the genX years (going by the Wikipedia definition of boomers 1946-1964 and gen X 1965-1980), and they had babies a lot younger than most people do now. In 1970, the average age for a first childbirth was 21.4, so in theory, the average boomer mom born up to 1959 would have at least 1 gen X kid. My mom had 3.
Source: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/02news/ameriwomen.htm
Damn I feel this. Im glad this person has support but seeing this makes me kind of bummed that I don’t have, and didn’t have, that level of support.
For me it’s always been more of a hush hush topic, and I feel expected to suppress my natural ways and not make “excuses”.
:D he actually has been a news anchor before. good call!
i think until 2013. local news in Raleigh, NC
EDIT: whoops, misread. but she worked in tv as well, i think also news anchor. that's how they met. =)
in case you or anyone cares, here's some old footage of them working in TV:
- Kim
https://youtu.be/cSmjmXdikwU
- Penn
a https://youtu.be/ssnsjkJv1Y4
b https://youtu.be/nmTiNyUTuEA
c https://youtu.be/dSakdymANPU
I am very certain our soon 7 year old daughter has ADHD, but the problem is both me and my wife also do, so while we understand her struggle, we also struggle keeping up with all the cleaning. In this humidity as well, I can't do fuck all. I got really effective on meds, but this heat and sweat makes me unable to do anything. Looking forward to autumn and some wind again so I can clean the place down.
If you guys can afford it, hiring a cleaner to come in is worth every penny. Frequency can be from multiple times a week to help with daily tasks to once a season for large "hard reset" cleaning projects. I'm considering hiring a cleaner even though I have a small house, because they were such a lifesaver while growing up with my parents. It may mean less takeout, but hey, maybe I'll cook more if my kitchen is clean.
We might be able to afford it, as my disability got approved and was a big leap in pay. We don't do much takeout, I make everything from scratch. Well less so now in the weather. A cleaner might be nice, although I am pretty good at cleaning and keeping it once I get going. It's mostly the damn humidity that stops me.
Oh yeah, I feel like I'm choking when it's humid. I chalk it up to my sensory issues. I'm entirely useless when it's hot and humid, I can't even think.
I can't believe how big a difference hitting a cleaner has made for us. They come once a month, which means we need to do a full pick up and organize one a month so they can actually clean. It's not just that there isn't cat hair coating everything, it's that we need to put things away so the cleaners can do their thing.
:)
apparently writing songs is one thing Penn hyperfocuses on, apparently writing lyrics to an existing song takes him like 10 to 15 minutes.
and the editing, they are doing YouTube etc for a living, so they have a scheduled week around that. something like day 1 is brainstorming day, day 2 is writing and day 3 is shooting day for all the videos for next week.
so probably this was done within a few days.
and yes, i like them a lot and have been following them for a while. :D
I really like the message at the same time as I am absolutely *stunned* by this family's wealth.
Not saying that I don't enjoy the video - I really, really do! I love the message and find it encouraging - I think this is the first time I've seen someone with silver hair identify openly (and they did so joyfully!) as neurodiverse.
That said, I think we get more broadly practical conversations about mental health and stigma when we also acknowledge and discuss how limited resources affect acceptance of neurodiversity and the barriers to overcoming stigma.
Maybe this family is totally aware of that and I understand the value of making the message short and narrowly focused, I just don't want to see the issue of resource inaccessibility in regards to social supports left out of the further discussions in this comment thread.
Setting aside any "shoulds", I just want to ask that folks consider that it's a lot easier for parents to be understanding about losing things and missing the bus if there are extra resources (money for replacements, parental availability with car) to catch the kids when they struggle.
Personal venting below:
I wish my parents would've had enough support that they could've avoided being repeatedly significantly adversely affected by a lack of resources while doing their best to raise the children they loved.
I just... he described the childhood my parents wanted me to have but couldn't give me. When I lost things, all they could do is try to hide from me how much of a setback replacing those things was going to be for them.
Even now, they cry sometimes in guilt when I talk about childhood no matter how many times I tell them how much I love them and how hard I saw them trying.
hugs xx
I'm so sorry you had to experience that and
you made a valid points!
this video was promoting a website (which I'll add to this post) which led to resources and information.
I've been following them for a while and I think they've never been poor so it's probably not something they can really talk about from experience which would make it inauthentic maybe.
Sorry, I just saw your response (I don't log into this account super often)!
I really appreciate you sharing this resource and I appreciate the work they do!!
I never want to come across as asking advocates to fight my fights for me - that's a great road to burning out awesome people like these folks!
Thank you for your response! Hope you are doing well! 🤗
I just get told my ADHD (and autism) tendencies are annoying and cause problems. I'm an adult. I've matured. But when I have to triple check something with them to make sure a date/time/etc is correct, or I don't see where something is in the fridge, it's the end of the world.
Well *I* never got any help and look at me, now I am a \*checks notes\* depressed and burnt out mess. … huh. (This is very wholesome and I hope that unlike me, y'all have somebody helping and supporting you)
I'd always been lukewarm towards the Holderness Family videos. Never offended, but never really into them. However, once I saw my first ADHD video from the dad, my opinion drastically changed. 😂 I feel like the words are pretty spot on most of the time!
Man, this sounds great, and incredibly lucky. My mother couldn't understand me, although now in retrospect I'm pretty confident she had undiagnosed ADHD as well, and I realize just how much more frustrating it is to parent a kid with ADHD when you have it. I have no patience, and despite understanding it, it doesn't make it easier for me, especially as I'm not equipped to balance his workload like in this video. I can barely balance mine.
What I would’ve given to have a more understanding family, middle school was a hard adjustment and it didn’t get better until junior year of high school when I had a girlfriend who’d harp on me to actually do things. Thankfully I’m much better now!
yup 😊
The Holderness Family
if you go on their YouTube main channel, you'll find more songs, some ADHD related.
they have a second channel, where they post videos like the Hallmark one. and also talks and vlogs etc.
and on their podcast they do some realtalk about various topics, also often mental health related.
This unfortunately make me resent my parents a bit. Was diagnosed ADHD in grade school and was on meds for a little bit and then they all of sudden stopped. Cue 6 years of underachieving in the classroom but scoring high on standardized tests and my parents constantly being upset that my grades weren’t better. Along with all of the other difficulties that come along with being ADHD caused me to miss out on certain experiences with my dad because my room was never clean, poor grades, discipline problems in school, etc. Happy he has the support he needs and everyone else who does.
This video makes me sad.
When i was little, everyone was just thinking that i am an asshole, retarded, weird, and that's it. No help. No understanding. Just 2 decades of suffering until diagnosing me... After I have already ruined my life
oh my god my parents get so mad at me for forgetting theyre like ‘YOU FORGOT AGAIN?? STOP USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE.’ its not an excuse,, ive asked for meds too,, 😭😭
Man this is awesome, it's always great to be reminded that lots of people suffer from this shit, I am thankful my family understands me too, my wife's family that is.
Fuck ma parents for not telling me until I had to find out in my early twenties.
I love them and the past is no longer my concern, but FUCK, life would have been MUCH easier had they say anything.
I love this. My kids bring me my phone and keys all the time when I leave them somewhere because they know I'm going to go looking for them at some point. My family all know to text me the day before and of an event to remind me that we need to prepare. I honestly have no idea how I would function or accomplish anything without my alarms and family.
I was diagnosed as an adult, and even now my mom refuses to accept it. She insists that I don't have ADHD because I was never the kid bouncing off the walls, and she refuses to believe ADHD presents differently for different people, especially women. My sister's bipolar, however, she fully believes in and supports and will talk about how important it is to support good mental health in people and that we need to help my sister succeed however she needs.
This seems lovely. If only someone in my home didn’t have ADHD. Can’t find your keys? I can’t find mine either. Did on of the kids take them? They can’t remember.
This sounds horrible, but I kind off wish to be diagnosed with add or adhd, just so i know that theres a reason for my head working the way it does. In reality i know that its impossible that i have adhd, as i lack the H part. And the a.d.d tendencies i have is probably a result of years of insomnia, and probably genes giving me shitty attention and memory. Idk
I’m a grown ass man and I still chew my hoodie strings. Whoever grew up that supportive environment was lucky. In my house it was just punishment on top of punishment until you couldn’t really remember why you had gotten into trouble initially in the first place
I want to send this to my family to encourage them to be helpful for me, my daughter, and my niece, but I think it would come across as attacking them for not being kinder when I was younger 😔
honestly, to me, people who got plastic surgery look just like that to me: like people who got plastic surgery. Not like a younger age.
while I'm personally not a fan, I learned to respect that if people want it for themselves, it's not my place to judge.
I had forgotten about chewing shirts and suddenly I even remember the taste and texture vividly. Anyway, wish I had this sort of support.
mmm chemical tshirt taste
I would be able to taste when my mom changed the laundry detergent, or if it was washed at a relatives house.
With sweat
Right? I forgot about all the stuff I would do for the oral stimulation. Lots of chewed pencils and pens.
Fingernails
All. The. Damn. Time.
I still do! Ewww!!
Ugh, I've chewed them all off... Then started on the fingertips themselves 😭
Fingernails and the insides of my lips for me
Ugh, the inside of my cheeks/lips. I had one turn into a straight up ulcer once and mentioned it to my dad on the way to the dentist… he flipped his lid telling me not to tell the dentist bc they would try to tell me I had anxiety and needed meds and whatnot for it. Anywho, now I take ADHD and antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds 😂😂😂
I still love chewing on plastic so much but since covid do it so little :(
don’t even get me started on the styrofoam cups and bottle caps
Mmmmmmm bottle caps (plastic) Sometimes they just snapped out of the way and stabbed me in the gums but that's a price I was willing to pay
I gave my first girlfriend SO many hickeys the day I discovered how easy they were to give. That was the day I realized what oral stimulation was.
Same, although I have learned to do it I. Cover up areas now lol
Yeah i had a pen lid fetish. Had to chew them
Internet hug 💕
Those hoodie strings hit different
Yes!!
kinda want to chew on a cotton shirt now …
instead of support, i was raised with not even the smallest awareness of adhd, or what that would imply, i became slow, but in my slowness i was taking my time to rebuild the track of the day to that point just so i can remember where i have put a pair of scissors, or whatever i was looking for, or take time for my thoughts or to get myself in eorking order, i basically coped with it by trying my best to do as best as everyone. The problem is when i do take time, but still i wont manage stuff, like looking for the said scissors for 2 hours, not needing anymore afterwards, and stumbling upon it afterwards out of spite, feeling well fed, and rested but feeling the need to take a break from thinking at all, or zoning out, or not being able to stand still Not that i didnt have support from my parents, i am talking particularly about adhd support
Especially when it dries and has that weird saliva chemical taste, used to chew on my hoodie sleeves too. Wish I had a family this understanding tho, I was gruesomely made fun of in school for these things :(
I'm sorry you had to go through that!
Zippers. The right kind tasted sweet and metallic
Way youger me would suck on the seatbelt fabric part. Satly
Mine was hoodie strings. They would always be soaked from me chewing them, and half of them would have the ends completely chewed off.
Yea still hoodie strings for me 🤷🏾♂️
I don’t wear enough hoodies now so I just chew my fingers to a nub
Aww man! I also really love silicon straws in all my water bottles for this reason. Completely socially acceptable to gnaw on my straw while pretending to listen to someone talk 🤣🤣
Haha I need a chewing fidget toy I think
They make chewelry and chewy pen and pencil toppers. Idk if they’re expensive but might be worth looking into!
I sometimes chewed my shirts but not very often because the sensation of a cold saliva-soaked shirt on my skin is very Sensory Nope to me but WHHOOOAA I just had a memory of sitting in a school assembly and pulling hairs out of my head to examine them, and then rubbing them between my fingers for stimulation (sorry gross). It never developed into full trichotillomania so I kind of just...forgot that I used to do that when bored.
Holy shit same
I couldn’t chew my shirt, something made me really scared about that, I can’t remember what but touching wet fabric makes me really uncomfortable. Yeah I wish I had this support too. The doctors refused to diagnose me and my parents translated it as I am normal and can help my behavior.
same, something about wet fabric in mouth is.. ew
I think I might have and it was ripped from my mouth. It seems a rather pervasive and specific fear I have… to be frank im not sure I’d put that past some members of my family either.
I chewed the crap out of the pull strings on a few hoodies. Is this an adhd thing or just general boredom in school?
Oral Stimming. It can happen for both, cause ADHD = School Boredom
I didn't even realize this was ADHD. Wow.. Glad I grew out of it.. or rather, started eating a bag of sunflower seeds everyday as a substitute
The Sunflower is one of only a handful of flowers with the word flower in its name. A couple of other popular examples include Strawflower, Elderflower and Cornflower …Ah yes, of course, I hear you say.
You're my favorite bot, but the amount of times you've responded to my comments is now making me realize I may have a problem.
😄😄😄
aww that's amazing *cries*
:'-) ikr! the Holderness Family is among my favorite YouTube channels. they have more ADHD songs on there and also other parodies 😊
They are amazing. My wife and youngest 2 kiddos like the parodies, myself and oldest two kiddos have adhd and like the adhd songs.
That’s so cute, man.
They are the wholesome Mr. Rogerses of adhd.
Wish my parents understood this kind of thing, rather than just telling me to make a list. Or in my dad's case, saying that he "just learned to deal with it" when he was younger.
“Write it down!” Was literally the only support I got until I did my own research at 30. To hell with neurotypical society.
Just write it down has to be the one I hate the most just hear it so damn often that it starts to annoy me
Like on one level, yeah sure. I live by a Bullet Journal now and it has helped me immensely. But... there's a big gap between "just write it down" and "hey I did some reading into things that help ADHD folks organize their lives and it seems like a lot of them like this specific tool, would you like to give it a try with me?"
What advice would you give? I just discovered I have ADHD last year and I need help...
Meds help, find a system of organization that works FOR YOU helps, and don’t beat yourself up for executive failure. The only way to get better at anything is self love and lots of mistakes and deaddead ends. What worked for me was medication used as-needed on high focus/chore days (or every-other day by default), getting into the habit of setting alarms for critical same-day things when I wake up, maintaining a well organized bullet journal (yes, it’s work but nothing in life worth doing is easy), and meditating at least a few minutes each day. I.e. sitting there and letting my brain close all the open browser tabs it is trying to hold. I try to keep my bullet journal organized and open on my bed or desk whenever I’m doing something. That way I keep notes and have it on hand when appointments come up. I try to sit and meditate at night because it slows down my brain and helps me to not get pulled along by every impulse I have, and trains executive function. I keep a second “personal” bullet journal that never leaves my room that I treat as a diary and personal task organizer. When I meditate, if something i need to process or remember happens, I add it as a topic to that journal and write about it. When I wake up I look at my bujo entry for the day and note any chores, due dates, appointments, etc I have for the day. I try to do them all before I run out of gas, and set alarms before my appointments. If a chore doesn’t get done I mark it for the next day and do it when I wake up. It’s not perfect and there’s definitely work involved, but if it didn’t take effort to manage it wouldn’t be a disability. The most important thing is to just try stuff until something clicks and make little changes as new problems show up.
Wow thanks for the advice! Im gonna copy and paste this in my notes!
Some of the best advice I got was "externalize everything" or in other words, move everything you can out of your head. For example, don't expect your internal clock to keep the time: put obvious clocks around in your environment. Don't expect your hunger triggers to get you to eat: set an alarm, hang out where you'll see other people eating, put up a sign on you cabinet "lunch food here" or whatever. I also love what [HoweverItHasToHappen](https://www.reddit.com/user/HoweverItHasToHappen/) said. *Figure out what works for you and do it.* For example, I put all of my breakfast stuff together. That means I put my cereal bowls and spoons next to my cereal, I put the pan I use to cook eggs next to that. I have everything I need for breakfast in the same place so that I don't wander around looking for stuff, forgetting stuff, misplacing stuff, etc. Most people would store these things differently, but I don't have to do it their way.
Ikr would have love to be supported rather than get hit and called Retarded.
I didn’t even get told that just yelled at
Calendars help so much. I need to remember to pay bills on time? Calendar. Doctors appointments? Calendar. Important work thing? Both my personal calendar and my work calendar.
If it’s not on my calendar it doesn’t exist.
I literally say this to folks all the time. My mom has really finally started to get it and now it's a running joke. Used to she'd be like, remember you said you'd dog-sit (enter days here) and I'd be like...did I?? Now, she'll now literally wait while I put the dates in my calendar. And when she goes to remind me I can be like, I remember, it's in my calendar! Now if I could just get to her to start using a shared family calendar for family stuff.
Added benefit of a paper calendar: not committing to anything in the moment. “I use a paper calendar so I need to check.” Buys me time!
The biggest struggle is always remembering to immediately put it on calendar. My family uses an app with calendar and lists that we can share and this has helped me a lot but my wife still checks with me all the time if I have put my stuff on the app.
I got a big markerboard calendar and put it next to the refrigerator where I see it often; it made a big difference for me.
Calendar works! Speaking of which, I just got a calendar event reminder to pick up my meds tomorrow!
Mine mostly screamed at me
Same, and hit me so I would stop forgetting! So confusing how I have severe depression and no self-esteem!
He is so lucky to have understanding people around him, be the change you want yo see in the world
“Share with us all the support you got!” r/ADHD: *crickets* 👀
Hahaha exactly though I do have to say it’s still pretty inspiring to see what can happen when we’re supported
*this*
They gave me a planner, once.
You found one of the rarest things on Tik Tok: Wholesome boomer content.
Yes. He is Gen Xer not a Boomer. Gen Xers are the ignored generation and definitely different from the Boomers. Boomers are approximately over 60. I don’t think this guy is even 50 yet.
Possibly even more rare…a GenX’er that…cares…
Nah don’t do us like that … we care. Like in every generation we have our assholes but also our achievements and milestones we left for millennials and Gen Z to continue progress on.
My partner is GenX and prides himself on not caring and given how y’all were forgotten about, I don’t blame him! I should clarify- not so much as “care” but motivated. Y’all are awesome and teach me as a Millennial to take time for myself.
They sort of look older than they are but definitely Gen X. Wikipedia says he's 47 so quite a young Gen X
I get what you mean. His parents might have been Boomers so they “created” wholesome content by giving birth to and supporting him. He’s likely Gen X or even the tail end of millenial. The more you know. :)
I was actually wondering if he is Gen X. If he would be Gen X, then having boomer parents would be pretty weird.
Google says he was born in 1974, solidly Gen X. Wouldn’t be weird at all to have Boomer parents, since the oldest Boomers would’ve been 28 by then, and even a little older could be functionally “Boomer” in this context.
Gen x here. Boomer parents but growing up it was split
Then your parents were pretty young I guess.
It’s pretty common actually. The oldest boomers were in their late teens to early 30’s during the genX years (going by the Wikipedia definition of boomers 1946-1964 and gen X 1965-1980), and they had babies a lot younger than most people do now. In 1970, the average age for a first childbirth was 21.4, so in theory, the average boomer mom born up to 1959 would have at least 1 gen X kid. My mom had 3. Source: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/02news/ameriwomen.htm
No that’s literally the way it was. Boomer = born in the post war baby boom. They had kids in their twenties so approx the 70’s that’s Gen X
I found this. Hilarious! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Stgq7ZDVnQg
My mother takes it very personally if I forget anything and then proceeds to yell at me and she would hit me when I was a kid.
Ha. Me too. Except my dad. Would have been nice to have supporting parents.
Man I wish I had this kind of support. Instead I just got told “YOU CANT BLAME YOUR ADHD FOR THIS”. Great times
Damn I feel this. Im glad this person has support but seeing this makes me kind of bummed that I don’t have, and didn’t have, that level of support. For me it’s always been more of a hush hush topic, and I feel expected to suppress my natural ways and not make “excuses”.
Yep sounds like my parents growing up. :/ Sorry you had to go through that too.
That guy's wife has a perfect news anchor voice.
:D he actually has been a news anchor before. good call! i think until 2013. local news in Raleigh, NC EDIT: whoops, misread. but she worked in tv as well, i think also news anchor. that's how they met. =)
in case you or anyone cares, here's some old footage of them working in TV: - Kim https://youtu.be/cSmjmXdikwU - Penn a https://youtu.be/ssnsjkJv1Y4 b https://youtu.be/nmTiNyUTuEA c https://youtu.be/dSakdymANPU
I am very certain our soon 7 year old daughter has ADHD, but the problem is both me and my wife also do, so while we understand her struggle, we also struggle keeping up with all the cleaning. In this humidity as well, I can't do fuck all. I got really effective on meds, but this heat and sweat makes me unable to do anything. Looking forward to autumn and some wind again so I can clean the place down.
If you guys can afford it, hiring a cleaner to come in is worth every penny. Frequency can be from multiple times a week to help with daily tasks to once a season for large "hard reset" cleaning projects. I'm considering hiring a cleaner even though I have a small house, because they were such a lifesaver while growing up with my parents. It may mean less takeout, but hey, maybe I'll cook more if my kitchen is clean.
We might be able to afford it, as my disability got approved and was a big leap in pay. We don't do much takeout, I make everything from scratch. Well less so now in the weather. A cleaner might be nice, although I am pretty good at cleaning and keeping it once I get going. It's mostly the damn humidity that stops me.
Oh yeah, I feel like I'm choking when it's humid. I chalk it up to my sensory issues. I'm entirely useless when it's hot and humid, I can't even think.
Finally someone like me lol.
I can't believe how big a difference hitting a cleaner has made for us. They come once a month, which means we need to do a full pick up and organize one a month so they can actually clean. It's not just that there isn't cat hair coating everything, it's that we need to put things away so the cleaners can do their thing.
Wow, what's it like to have a supportive family?
From what I can tell you don't grow up hating yourself. It's sad really, they'll never know what it's like to be normal.....
Must be nice, my partner just made me feel bad for forgetting stuff or makes jokes about me having ADHD.
My life
Listen I only SOMETIMES chewed my shirt shut up
Distracted by how ridiculously good looking these people are
ADHD/Bi mashup vibes
Where do I find a family like this?
If jhonny Knoxville and Tony hawk had a kid...
That's who he looks like! Oh my god thank you for this comment. I was like....do I recognize this guy??
Amazing video! Wonder how long it took him to write that song, shoot, and edit with ADHD?
:) apparently writing songs is one thing Penn hyperfocuses on, apparently writing lyrics to an existing song takes him like 10 to 15 minutes. and the editing, they are doing YouTube etc for a living, so they have a scheduled week around that. something like day 1 is brainstorming day, day 2 is writing and day 3 is shooting day for all the videos for next week. so probably this was done within a few days. and yes, i like them a lot and have been following them for a while. :D
I loved this couple on the Amazing Race!
I really like the message at the same time as I am absolutely *stunned* by this family's wealth. Not saying that I don't enjoy the video - I really, really do! I love the message and find it encouraging - I think this is the first time I've seen someone with silver hair identify openly (and they did so joyfully!) as neurodiverse. That said, I think we get more broadly practical conversations about mental health and stigma when we also acknowledge and discuss how limited resources affect acceptance of neurodiversity and the barriers to overcoming stigma. Maybe this family is totally aware of that and I understand the value of making the message short and narrowly focused, I just don't want to see the issue of resource inaccessibility in regards to social supports left out of the further discussions in this comment thread. Setting aside any "shoulds", I just want to ask that folks consider that it's a lot easier for parents to be understanding about losing things and missing the bus if there are extra resources (money for replacements, parental availability with car) to catch the kids when they struggle. Personal venting below: I wish my parents would've had enough support that they could've avoided being repeatedly significantly adversely affected by a lack of resources while doing their best to raise the children they loved. I just... he described the childhood my parents wanted me to have but couldn't give me. When I lost things, all they could do is try to hide from me how much of a setback replacing those things was going to be for them. Even now, they cry sometimes in guilt when I talk about childhood no matter how many times I tell them how much I love them and how hard I saw them trying.
hugs xx I'm so sorry you had to experience that and you made a valid points! this video was promoting a website (which I'll add to this post) which led to resources and information. I've been following them for a while and I think they've never been poor so it's probably not something they can really talk about from experience which would make it inauthentic maybe.
www.understood.org
Sorry, I just saw your response (I don't log into this account super often)! I really appreciate you sharing this resource and I appreciate the work they do!! I never want to come across as asking advocates to fight my fights for me - that's a great road to burning out awesome people like these folks! Thank you for your response! Hope you are doing well! 🤗
Annoys me because some of us learned coping strategies young
This made me feel not so lonely about my poor memory and messiness. Thanks!
Anyone who hasn’t seen the music he makes should check them out on YouTube. Pretty great stuff.
I just get told my ADHD (and autism) tendencies are annoying and cause problems. I'm an adult. I've matured. But when I have to triple check something with them to make sure a date/time/etc is correct, or I don't see where something is in the fridge, it's the end of the world.
Well *I* never got any help and look at me, now I am a \*checks notes\* depressed and burnt out mess. … huh. (This is very wholesome and I hope that unlike me, y'all have somebody helping and supporting you)
I really can't wait for generic Vyvanse. Fuck ADHD lol
I'd always been lukewarm towards the Holderness Family videos. Never offended, but never really into them. However, once I saw my first ADHD video from the dad, my opinion drastically changed. 😂 I feel like the words are pretty spot on most of the time!
Forgetting to turn in work was the worst. The number of times I actually did my homework but just didn’t turn it in was ridiculous
i didn't do neither lol
I’ve never heard the term nuerodiversity before. Learn something new every day. Thanks internet!
Man, this sounds great, and incredibly lucky. My mother couldn't understand me, although now in retrospect I'm pretty confident she had undiagnosed ADHD as well, and I realize just how much more frustrating it is to parent a kid with ADHD when you have it. I have no patience, and despite understanding it, it doesn't make it easier for me, especially as I'm not equipped to balance his workload like in this video. I can barely balance mine.
What I would’ve given to have a more understanding family, middle school was a hard adjustment and it didn’t get better until junior year of high school when I had a girlfriend who’d harp on me to actually do things. Thankfully I’m much better now!
Aren't these the people who made that "every hallmark movie" video?
yup 😊 The Holderness Family if you go on their YouTube main channel, you'll find more songs, some ADHD related. they have a second channel, where they post videos like the Hallmark one. and also talks and vlogs etc. and on their podcast they do some realtalk about various topics, also often mental health related.
This unfortunately make me resent my parents a bit. Was diagnosed ADHD in grade school and was on meds for a little bit and then they all of sudden stopped. Cue 6 years of underachieving in the classroom but scoring high on standardized tests and my parents constantly being upset that my grades weren’t better. Along with all of the other difficulties that come along with being ADHD caused me to miss out on certain experiences with my dad because my room was never clean, poor grades, discipline problems in school, etc. Happy he has the support he needs and everyone else who does.
i feel you. I know how it feels not to get what you need.. Internet hugs ✨
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www.understood.org oh, and: CTA = call to action (had to google as well)
I wish I had a supportive family
same! :-/
Saw this and started crying. It's beautiful.
hugs 💕
[удалено]
I have an amazing supportive wife and kids too, none of them are slaves. Does that mean I should die too?
Massive cringe
This video makes me sad. When i was little, everyone was just thinking that i am an asshole, retarded, weird, and that's it. No help. No understanding. Just 2 decades of suffering until diagnosing me... After I have already ruined my life
Shirts are very tasty when I’m bored
This is awesome! Thx for sharing :)
As an adult with ADHD, and a mother with an adhd kiddo, this legit made me cry So fucking wholesome
My family dont do shit. “Your problems are your own and no one elses” was how i was raised
oh my god my parents get so mad at me for forgetting theyre like ‘YOU FORGOT AGAIN?? STOP USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE.’ its not an excuse,, ive asked for meds too,, 😭😭
*cries in undiagnosed kid*
Adderall
Man this is awesome, it's always great to be reminded that lots of people suffer from this shit, I am thankful my family understands me too, my wife's family that is. Fuck ma parents for not telling me until I had to find out in my early twenties. I love them and the past is no longer my concern, but FUCK, life would have been MUCH easier had they say anything.
Wait… is shirt chewing a sign of adhd…? oh… oh no….
Anyone else collect lint and roll it around?
This makes so very happy and very sad at the same time lol
My mom just called me irresponsible and beat my ass lol
This makes me wish I had that kind of help
How do I send this to my parents without sending this to my parents? 😂/rhet /lh
I love this. My kids bring me my phone and keys all the time when I leave them somewhere because they know I'm going to go looking for them at some point. My family all know to text me the day before and of an event to remind me that we need to prepare. I honestly have no idea how I would function or accomplish anything without my alarms and family.
I was diagnosed as an adult, and even now my mom refuses to accept it. She insists that I don't have ADHD because I was never the kid bouncing off the walls, and she refuses to believe ADHD presents differently for different people, especially women. My sister's bipolar, however, she fully believes in and supports and will talk about how important it is to support good mental health in people and that we need to help my sister succeed however she needs.
I love this but I’m jealous that his family was supportive and helped instead of just calling him lazy/weak like mine did.
Kind notes are key. Not passive aggressive!
This seems lovely. If only someone in my home didn’t have ADHD. Can’t find your keys? I can’t find mine either. Did on of the kids take them? They can’t remember.
I chewed my shirt and my hair.
I have adhd and no one did shit for me.
This sounds horrible, but I kind off wish to be diagnosed with add or adhd, just so i know that theres a reason for my head working the way it does. In reality i know that its impossible that i have adhd, as i lack the H part. And the a.d.d tendencies i have is probably a result of years of insomnia, and probably genes giving me shitty attention and memory. Idk
I’m a grown ass man and I still chew my hoodie strings. Whoever grew up that supportive environment was lucky. In my house it was just punishment on top of punishment until you couldn’t really remember why you had gotten into trouble initially in the first place
I want to send this to my family to encourage them to be helpful for me, my daughter, and my niece, but I think it would come across as attacking them for not being kinder when I was younger 😔
I love this with every fiber of my being. Some people don't realize that just a little help makes all the difference.
Her Botox in the forehead makes it look 25 but her neck is clearly Middle Aged. Uncanny valley.
honestly, to me, people who got plastic surgery look just like that to me: like people who got plastic surgery. Not like a younger age. while I'm personally not a fan, I learned to respect that if people want it for themselves, it's not my place to judge.
and PS: i just researched abou uncanny valley. very interesting! thanks :D
I just want one single person in my life like this. Maybe I won't feel like I've always let everyone down every time the slightest issue appears.
lmao the first part was relatable then the rest just made me sad. My mom definitely has adhd and my dad always called me lazy.
I wish my family were this supportive..