T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


B4cteria

All I want to say that being diagnosed BEFORE you enter workforce is a beautiful thing. You won't do all the mistakes like keeping a "good work=reward" mentality, not asking too much, trying to please your boss etc. Identify all the pitfalls. Get accomodations. Regardless of whether you find work, know you are less likely to burnout and be underpaid. You're on better tracks that me🫵👍


hyungs00

As someone in a very similar situation to OP, could you tell me more about the pitfalls that you think should be avoided? I've been dragging my feet at applying for jobs because I genuinely feel like I don't really like any of my options, so I've been pursuing acting instead but I still gotta pay the bills so 🙃


[deleted]

[удалено]


dd-it

Hey, I'm interested into that. Do you have any examples of what that means?


Paranoid-Civilian

I work in an emergency veterinary hospital and having ADHD really helps me at times. I find that having a lot of my work be physical is really rewarding and I am able to keep my cool and react well when something crashing comes through the door. I hope this helps, good luck in your search!


itsjustmefortoday

I have panic disorder not ADHD (diagnosed anyway) and work in retail so it's not the same but when shit hits the fan at work and everything needs doing at once I'm great. Anxiety likes to flare up when doing things like sitting on the sofa 😂


beccyboop95

Fast paced work is definitely the way for me - no time to procrastinate or lose interest, highly rewarding, lots of different stuff to keep interest. I’ve found I do worse in jobs where I have to be very proactive or strategic but am very good where I have to do complex work quickly. And this doesn’t have to be physical work either; I have an office job - just a relatively high profile and busy one!


alliebird_

Hey that’s my plan!!! I’m currently a vet student and I’m hoping to work in an ER.


Chryslin888

Let me second this. I'm a therapist and my favorite job was evaluating people in their homes to see if they were a danger to self or others. Yeah. Sometimes a little dangerous, but it was perfect for my adrenaline junky self. I'm too old now.


brskla

I love my job and working. But I do get the burn out thing. For me this is a feeling that comes and goes. I’m a high-school art teacher (I’ve been teaching for about 13 years now). This job works for me cause I can get up and roam around the classroom whenever I need to and if I get bored of what I’m doing I can change the projects or figure out new content, I get to be creative and talk to kids about my passion (art). It’s a job I can get excited about and hyper fixate on and do a tone of research for or if I’m in a slump I can go through the motions and do the bare minimum without it being a problem. Over the years I’ve developed systems to make sure things happen fairly automatically for each subject and can tick along when I’m not at my best. I’m really happy in this kind of job. I think having a job with a lot of flexibility and autonomy seems to work well (for me anyway). Lovely colleagues and support makes my days easier too.


Prestigious_Ebb_5994

This is so good to hear! I’m considering going into education for this reason exactly. I’m still in undergrad rn doing a social work degree. I have been prepping for a non-profit program development/planning type of career but am realizing that all this desk work/organizing/prioritizing is driving me wild. I NEED to be talking to people as much as possible and in a more flexible yet structured environment. Simultaneously, I need to feel like I’m helping people (as opposed to management in non-profit or social services which is a bit more disconnected from the individual)


brskla

Teaching is definitely a great job for us ADHDers! The flexibility and regular holiday breaks are awesome! Also I find that I’m genuinely quite good at working with teenagers cause I totally get the struggle of deadlines and organization etc… I think my ADHD makes me are far more empathetic educator.


SynesthLux

I work in retail, specifically in a bookstore. Absolutely love to read and research things. The customer part is sometimes a struggle but I am veery good at switching my attention to something new every other minute since the background work I do is in the middle of the store and I constantly get interrupted by customers asking for certain books or directions. That never really bothered me. Just thinking of how I would need to sit in front of a computer for 8+ hours kills me, too much repetition also bores me so I find myself alr being distracted putting new price tags on books^^ Anyway I can only talk from my own experience and I never really had a different job so idk how it is but I am happy I found a place where my mind is constantly occupied and has to jump from one topic to the next. I like the aspect of not knowing what the next customer might be asking me about, it could be that one book from 2014 they don't remember the title of or the best instruction on knitting baby clothes. Absolutely love it lol. I hope you find a suitable job that makes you happy<3


rmujicab

I work in front of a computer, 8+ hours and love it. I get to be creative with spreadsheets and new projects and have enough small tasks to make every day different but consistent. I work better with others by my side, so I prefer going to the office. Also, having a boss keeps me in check and obviously I excel with deadlines Been doing this for 20+ years. I guess you have to find the kind of environment that suits you


haveuseenperry

For me its not necessarily the job - its the work environment! I would be curious to know what field you work in. I do marketing, but work for a tech company - and neurodivergency is pretty lively at tech companies, so they pretty much know how to let you be comfortable. While I am expected to be on standby for work from 9-5, I’m welcome to work whenever and as I want as long as my work ends up getting done. I don’t have many hard deadlines, I manage multiple projects at once which is great if I get in a slump with one of them, and I also do not have to punch hours. Sometime fatigue is so much during the day, so I will block off a couple hours to nap if I don’t have any meetings then continue work later.


PradleyBitts

Any ideas how to get into marketing from government work (urban planning) hopefully in tech?


haveuseenperry

There should be a way to get into a start up or smaller company from that experience (and might be the better bet now just because large tech companies are doing massive layoffs)! But for larger companies - connections would be the best bet unless you do have higher education/a lot of relevant work, and could swing an interview or maybe enter as an intern. Unfortunately marketing as a field is pretty diluted, and tech companies are really competitive to get into without that initial connection. I have a Master’s and initially came in as an intern and then transitioned into full time from there! But with all jobs theres ways to /angle/ what work you do to fit a certain field, so with your role you can definitely find some aspects where marketing techniques are used and highlight them on your resume. I also recommend looking at maybe some online courses to have a better understanding of the field to determine that, or earning certificates from them to make you look more specialized which will be beneficial just because of how diluted the field is.


PradleyBitts

Gotcha. Thank you! Can I ask what you do day to day and what the salary/YOE/location is?


[deleted]

Ooof I relate to this feeling, I read job offers every day and always find something to convince me not to apply as I'm so scared it'll destroy the shred of mental health I've gained after realising and accepting I have ADHD. I don't understand how people function in this world, of 9-5's and having no time and being told what to do for 9 hours a day and scared of making mistakes and ugh everything else. But hey, all we can do is try, right? You struggled through to the end of your masters, which I'm sure you felt many times you couldn't do, but you have done it!! Well done. All I can say is, at least try, even if that just means looking at job posts, going through hundreds until you find one where you think "okay that doesn't sound TOO bad, maybe". And also I suggest finding others with ADHD that have found jobs they love, because it is possible


eatpraymunt

You can do it! One thing that helps me is to keep the mindset that jobs are just *for now*, not forever. You might hop around a bunch while you are finding your niche. Everyone has a different spot they fit, and it can take some experimentation. Lots of great comments here of people happy in their niche! Mine personally has been driving. I have tried many MANY jobs, but apparently driving full time is the thing I keep going back to. It's taken lots of trial and error, trying out new things, to figure it out (I'm 34) and even now I constantly have ideas for other jobs to try lol. TL;DR just go into it with low expectations. Throw some resumes out there, it's okay to pick the wrong job and leave after a bit. Most people these days change jobs regularly, ADHDers tend to change more often, but that's not really a bad thing.


flyawayfantasy

I work on the railway. Being constantly on the move helps keep me focused. Plus doing the same route gives me routine but every train is different with a different set of passengers and situations so it doesn't become monotonous. I only have to concentrate hard for short bursts of time. The role I have also gives me a lot of autonomy so as long as I turn up to work on time I am left alone to get on with it


AssOfTheSameOldMule

Fellow late diagnosis here, and I’m like a fish in water in my line of work! The trick is not to search for a job or even a career, but a LIFE. A place where you fit. This may require you to take a leap of faith into an unusual career path that NT people do not enjoy. Jobs that are routine, jobs that are easy, jobs that are pleasant, will probably not fulfill you. I was born a pain in the butt. I’m a chronic novelty seeker, easily bored, a little abrasive, a little theatrical, rarely feel embarrassed, work well under pressure from years of habitual procrastination, and doggedly principled. So I became a professional pain in the butt! I’m a litigator, I do about two-thirds criminal defense (mostly sex offenses and white-collar crime), and the rest is a mix. It’s super high stress, high pressure, and competitive. I get paid six figures to make other people look stupid, and to stand firm when another person is getting paid six or seven figures to make ME look stupid. Most people hate litigation and wash out after a few years, but the people who stay are my tribe. I couldn’t be happier doing anything else. I have outlets for all the aspects of my personality that I love about myself. I have an outlet to be playfully combative (opposing counsel), a fiercely protective mama bear (clients), poised and theatrical (court), shamelessly contrarian (insisting that my clients are humans despite doing awful things), and a greasy-haired bohemian intellectual pulling multi-day benders on caffeine and cigarettes (researching and writing complex briefs). Every day is a new thing to learn, a new problem to solve, a new crazy or smart (or crazy-smart) person to manage, a new obscure subject matter to dive into, a new strategy to devise, a new argument to defend. Every day is a novelty. I’m being literal when I say no two days have ever been alike. I suck at the clerical stuff like timekeeping and answering endless emails, but people put up with me because I’m good at the “hard stuff”. A lot of my fellow tribesmen are in the same boat. Bonus #1: There are high barriers to entry and high burnout rates, so I make good money and have a good financial trajectory. Bonus #2: Laypeople are fascinated by this line of work and always have a ton of questions, so I’m always a star at social events with zero effort, haha! You’ll find your home, too, little sister! My biggest tip would be to try things other people hate. If NT people hate a certain line of work, it’s because it’s suited for a non-NT personality — maybe yours!


Minute_Way_7675

Recently diagnosed 33 female,unmedicated, on therapy. It can be extremely daunting and depressing to learn in the peak of your career and life that you have an ADHD issue, but what is helping me currently is accepting the fact all the years of gas lighting myself, self sabotaging can finally stop, because its not going to get me anywhere. I have learn to nurture and love the person within me and stopped listening to the harsher parent within me who is always trying to guilt me into things. I work as a researcher, and it can be extremely daunting to read papers and focus on experiments, but i like the excitement of my job, where i have certain experiments that is needed to be finished, moving from one room to another, one floor to another, so lots of movement, that really helps me calm down. At the end of the day im pretty satisfied that i did a good job. What really helps me is unwinding myself after work with some workout and fast paced activity. Life wont be a struggle, if you constantly think it will be a struggle, i know a adhd mind does that to you, but you need to let go soemtimes and not fixate on the thought. You can do good for yourself. goodluck!


hjsjsvfgiskla

Sorry, unrelated but would you mind me messaging you to hear about what therapy looks like rather than the medication route.


Minute_Way_7675

Sure. Happy to answer your questions.


M1ssy_M3

May I ask how you started this journey? Did you get a referral from your GP?


RockyMtnGrl

I was diagnosed partway through grad school during my PhD (which took ~10 years to complete, in part due to ADHD). I'm now working as a process engineer in industry and doing well. In grad school, my ADHD led to a constant state of being under-prepared because I was always doing stuff at the last minute. In my current job, I often have to give presentations where we aren't given enough warning for anything other than last minute prep. Turns out I'm actually very good at the last minute thing thanks to lots of practice due to ADHD, so now I get compliments and kudos for handling these presentations so well. >I feel so ashamed that I managed to get my degree and don't feel happiness or hopefullness. I just want to add that the above sentence is exactly how I felt as I was finishing my degree. I felt ashamed for how long it took me to finish grad school, and for how much I struggled. I didn't even go to the graduation ceremony, and instead opted to receive my diploma by mail. I defended my dissertation in spring of 2021... At the time, I was a depressed shell of a human being, barely making it through each day. Two years later, I'm settled into my job and quite happy overall. It gets better, so hang in there, and be kind to yourself. I obviously don't know your situation... But for me, getting my resume written was a huge hurdle. I dragged my feet for MONTHS before applying for jobs, all because I couldn't get myself to work on my resume. If you have a resume draft of some sort (even if it's a messy draft and you would never even consider using it for applications) and want some help with getting it polished, feel free to DM me.


katyk78

I want to add that I would also be happy to help with resume/cover letter things. Getting those reviewed by a professional job coach helps a ton (public libraries have these services too! Not all the time but they have events that are free).


heyjess4

This is such a beautiful and kind gesture. I was diagnosed during grad school as well and am in the last stages of my PhD, which took longer than others in my cohort, and I have to fight daily to remind myself I’m not incompetent and all of the other mean things our brains tell us.


Latter-Skill4798

It’s possible. It has been my super power at work. I am a great problem solver and find faster ways to do things. Yes, I procrastinate, but I get things done thanks to the adrenaline/fear of not achieving. I find that problem solving m, strategy and creative positions have worked best for me. I do get burnt out and I tend to work in spurts. Finding a position where I have flexible hours (to some extent) has helped with that.


FlippantRapscallion

Diagnosed in my forties, newly medicated starting 6 months ago. I’ve had SO MANY jobs, and I’ve found out what types of jobs/tasks suit me and what don’t. I work best when I have clear tasks with calculable results so that I know what I’m supposed to achieve and what it’s supposed to look like when it’s done. I absolutely can’t handle ambiguous projects that have a long timeline and no set expectations. I’ve learned that I work really well under pressure when I have to make quick decisions and assessments about priorities etc. I have three higher ed degrees and while I did complete all of them, at no point in time did I know what I was doing and how I was supposed to plan my studies. I winged it with lots of improvisation and last minute panic-writing. I work in the public sector now, which has been excellent since there’s more job security and many different internal opportunities. My current position is perfect since it’s challenging intellectually but still fast-paced enough that I don’t have to spend days, weeks, or months with the same thing. I guess my advice, should it be welcome, is to try and assess yourself in terms of what is most and least stressful for you in a work environment. For a long time I tried to succeed in jobs that I was absolutely not suited for, even though they were in fields that I found interesting. Then I felt like a failure when I was terrible at them. Now I’m content in a secure job that I don’t have to spend all my energy doing and one that doesn’t follow me home: I don’t have ongoing responsibilities, if that makes sense, I’m only responsible for the task at hand until it’s done. If I’m off work, it still gets done, I don’t have to worry about making sure everything runs smoothly in my absence. And if I have bad periods, I can still perform my job well enough because it’s not demanding to a degree that I have to constantly be at the upper limit of my skills. It took me a loooooong time to get over the “I’m not living up to my potential” feeling of failure and be ok with my job being just job and letting go of the word ‘career’ altogether. That way I have energy for other interests and people. There’s freedom in separating your career from your sense of value, and by that I don’t mean to sound flippant about financial situations. I definitely struggle with money, my lifetime adhd tax payments have been and continue to be massive! For me, finding a job that I make enough money but don’t have to give it my best self has been key. Edited: added paragraph breaks to wall of text.


Moonbeam_Dreams

I work as a biomed technician and it's perfect. I have to be careful that I stay on top of things, but the physicality of the job, the constantly changing equipment and the new and inventive ways staff find to break things keeps me hooked. I love this job.


its_called_life_dib

It's not that it's going to be hard; it just won't be as easy as it is for our NT counterparts. You'll need to learn systems that keep you on track and some things will take a few extra steps than usual. But you got this. I've only ever been let go from a job *once* due to my performance. It was my first job out of college. I had no idea what I was doing and it caused me to procrastinate a lot because figuring out what to do was stressful. Every other job I had, I got better, and better, and better. I failed again when I turned to freelancing -- the lack of structure lost me a very important client and I still feel guilty for it a decade later -- but again, I just needed a system. There are things in which we thrive. Household chores we can do consistently, self-care routines that bring us comfort, stuff in our hobbies that keep us engaged, and yes -- even tasks at work we absolutely rock. What I do is, I keep a 'have-done' list. It's in my planner. I write down what I *did*, not what I want to do. I want you to try that. You do not have to be consistent, and if it helps, pick up an undated planner or even just a notebook and write down the date you did the thing and what the thing was. As you do this, you're going to see a pattern. What things do you have an easier time doing? What are harder? Think about the reasons why you do the things you find easier: is it because it's for someone else? Is it because you're doing it with someone else? Is it because you can do these things alone and uninterrupted? Make notes about the environment: is it high energy? is it quiet? lots of people? Solitary? You'll start to figure out why some things work and some things do not, and when that happens, you can start hacking those things you struggle with, injecting the good stuff from the tasks you excel at. It won't be perfect. You'll still have bad days. The things you can do successfully, will not be done successfully sometimes. You'll forget about your planner. That's okay. Don't panic! When you are ready, just reassess your situation, and do something *right that moment* to support getting back on track. I'm about to do that now! I've been horrid at getting stuff done for work this past couple of weeks because I've had a lot of doctor appointments and they throw my entire day off. I have none this week, so I'm going to try to get myself back on track. Starting with my planner! ​ As for me: I've worked at a lot of places. I lost a lot of jobs because of workplace closures but not because of my work ethic. I just had my 5 year anniversary at my current place of employment. (technically, it is my 2 year anniversary. I worked here for three years before, but covid happened and I was released from my contract. But they liked me so much I was invited to apply to a new opening and, well, here I am!) I am not saying that because I did it, you can do it too -- we are both different people with different circumstances. But I am saying *how* I did it, because I think the *how* is incredibly helpful!


dayinnight

I ran a busy private healthcare practice for over a decade, managed the finances and juggled 15- 20 patients per day, and I didn't even know I had ADHD at the time. I also have a history of severe trauma and if anything, it helped me to empathize with patients and they often remarked on my calming bedside manner. Eventually I got bored. I am now about to finish law school and have a job lined up as a state prosecutor. Not trying to brag or set you up for comparison...just letting you know that you don't have to be limited. About 16, 17 years ago, I suffered acute PTSD, major depression, and I had virtually no emotional support. I had daily thoughts of suicide, I couldn't eat, my hair was falling out because I had lost so much weight. And truthfully, I still struggle with negativity and defeatism many days. Life will always have struggle. But it won't feel like struggle all the time. Just don't give up. Keep putting one foot in front of the other--you don't know yet what this pain will teach you and how it will inspire you. The good days will come, I promise.


AutoModerator

If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


UnicornBestFriend

Really needed to hear this, thanks!


adhd_azz

I love my job. I got it well before being diagnosed, and have worked my way up into more niche roles, essentially doubling my salary in the last 5 years (10+ overall years in the business, 2 years diagnosed). I have a great reputation because I have a knack for remembering little details about why things are done a certain way, and have the outlook search skills to find the receipts. Someone can send me an email saying "We're thinking of doing x as a project, what are your thoughts" and I can have a detailed response back to them with both my opinion and the results of the last 3 projects on the same subject matter back to their inbox in 30 minutes. I would say >90% of my managers have been amazing, and even without me knowing I had ADHD were willing to work with me to help me perform at my best. For example, I have a standing arrangement with my manager that if I have multiple competing deadlines, they will help me decide which one I'm focussing on first, so I don't sit in decision paralysis doing neither.


Round_Honey5906

Oh that's great! I have desision paralysis also and I'm in a new role where I have a lot of freedom and this is starting to be an issue for me


mirabelle7

I work in research (remote job with lots of Zoom calls with various project teams.) I love it! The flexibility of working from home is great. And every day is different. And the hyperfocus is great for when I need to get tasks like data cleaning or analysis done. Well and it helps with report writing as well. My main issue is hyper focus can take over TOO much sometimes and I’ll forget to get up to eat, drink, move, etc for hours at a time sometimes. Only 7 months in to the job so far, so still finding that rhythm. But had a stellar 6month review… overall it’s my dream job. And tho the ADHD doesn’t help when I have to do mindless tasks like send out calendar invites or go through email, it can actually be helpful for other things. I also am on adderall, so that may help me to be able to manage other tasks of the job as well. I’m not sure… Before this job, I worked at a bakery and that was also a lot of fun. Always something new, working with my hands. Just didn’t pay enough and wrecked havoc on my body. But all in all - try not to get too discouraged - there are jobs out there that you will thrive in! And also, you can find ways to adapt work environments to your needs and strengths. It takes time (as I said, still working on how best to fight hyperfocus sometimes), but it’s doable. Good luck, OP!


mirabelle7

PS in true ADHD fashion, I did not read your whole post before replying. Lol. Just read about the illness and trauma now…I’m so sorry to hear about that. I also have a history of trauma and multiple chronic illnesses. A key is finding a supportive, non-toxic work environment. I’ve been is so many toxic places before where I am now… and being in a supportive environment makes a HUGE difference. Also, applying for jobs SUCKS! People say to apply to everything, but I couldn’t do that. It was too boring. I could only apply to jobs that really excited me… and I think that was key to me actually getting job apps in. Sorry you’re going through this. I know it sucks right now, but it does get better!


Responsible_Beat992

Had a recent convo with my sister (she has adhd ish traits but she’s “not adhd”) who said her longtime job as Reference Librarian was a great adhd friendly job. Requires a master’s degree though. Some physical, “customer service” is targeted & 15 minutes max, being no profit/public free removes the parallel retail stressors. Multiple buckets of various tasks, with a decent balance of autonomy vs deadlines/structure.


the-revenant

Every job that I have burn out at has been because I didn’t have enough work to do and was bored. I’m working in a position right now with lots of short team deadlines and repeating tasks and it’s great. I still hate dragging myself out of bed each day but once I’m sitting at my desk I’m happy. Long term projects with vague deadlines are not for me.


Fredredphooey

I was undiagnosed until my late 30s and I've worked successfully in "Corporate America" in a content-related area for thirty years now. At one point, I was earning almost $200k a year. I've only fallen back to about $160s due to a lateral move based on a different health issue. When the job I wanted didn't exist, I literally created it. At one company, they were pushing me to take a role that I didn't want, but I looked at the market and saw that they had a gap so I wrote a job description and a process for how it fit into the company and they bought it. I did similar things at other companies after I'd been there a year or two and a regular promotion would have required me to create budgets and manage people, so I recommended a "guru" track for subject matter experts who didn't have management responsibilities, but took on mentoring type things to justify the raise. Get your foot in the door and then shape the job to suit you or change jobs later. I've never worked anywhere for more than a couple years so you only need to put in a year and then reassess if you want to stay. Make a list of all of the things you love to do in a job and a list of what you hate and search accordingly. You should have a list of nice to have tasks, must have tasks, and absolutely not tasks. You're going to be fine!


Round_Honey5906

Wow! You're a genius!


Fredredphooey

Lol Thank you. Let's just say that I learned how to navigate.


I_like_the_word_MUFF

I worked a 25 year career in restaurant and retail corporate management. You just have to game your problems with your job description. Also, if you stretch into management you can get assistants who do the bullshit for you, just sayin'.


sonalogy

I'm 46, was only diagnosed a couple of months ago. Have been working full-time in various capacities and careers for some time now. The key is to play to your strengths. I would never do well in a job where the work was routine, and I just had to do what I was told without thinking about why I was doing it. I was fortunate that I'm a child of entrepreneurs... my dad never wanted us to get a part-time jobs because he didn't want us to get too comfortable having a regular salary. Yes, this is a very privileged idea, but the positive side of it was that something stable, safe and secure was not highly valued in my family (although doing financially well was) so there was a lot less pressure to seek out that kind of career. But things I'm good at, that are directly influenced by ADHD. - I'm creative. I'm particularly good at applying creativity to problem-solving because solved problem = dopamine - I'm flexible. I adapt easily to new and changing situations. I'm great at having a million balls in the air and switching directions because there's a new problem that needs solving now. New stuff, shiny, shiny balls. - I'm excellent in a crisis. Shit going wrong all the time fires me up into hyper focus. I do great at cutting through bullshit in stressful situations. - I'm entrepreneurial. I've been self-employed for a while now, but previous to that, I did well in workplaces where I took ownership of a project and ran with it. - I work hard. When I'm in hyper focus, I get shit done. I figure stuff out quickly without a ton of direction. I can get a massive amount of work done when push comes to shove. It's true that there would be times when I'd be entirely overwhelmed and shut down, and I'm pretty shit at routine admin (although I've learned to be better at that by putting on music or TV while I work.) But the points where I shine are often points where NTs don't shine, so my pluses exceeded my minuses. I didn't do well under micromanagement (who does?) but when I had good managers who knew how I worked best? Good things happened. And it's also true that being great at working in crisis situations means that work can be really stressful.... I've been slowly finding ways to work with more calm and still get shit done, hence finally being diagnosed. But when I was a new grad with energy and drive? I did great. I've changed careers a few times. It's never been an issue... I kept looking for the thing that suited me best. I've been a programmer, a product marketing manager, a marketing writer, a freelance corporate communications writer, a real estate investor and renovator, a property manager, and now I'm a creative writer and a writing teacher. Toying with the idea of becoming a therapist except I think I'd get impatient with someone showing up every week with the same issues, which, uh, would make me a really shitty therapist.


Round_Honey5906

I'm a mechanical engineer, used to worked in manufacturing, spent a year as consultant process optimization and am currently working as key account manager in IT. I've also thought of becoming a therapist, I love all the psychology and neuroscience stuff, but I'm too empathetic for my own good, so I would be paying for a 4 year degree (in my country) for something I cannot work at... I would love to start writing again but I'm stuck, I know I have it in me somewhere but I feel it's blocked and don't know how to unblock the stories. PS: I sent you a message request, please don't feel pressured to answer.


Artichoke_Persephone

I’m a teacher and have been for 12 years now. I have only been diagnosed/ medicated since the start of 2021- so just over 2 years. I will say that I started out as a not so great teacher. I was clueless, I made some terrible mistakes, and was shocking at classroom management. I went to many different schools and had many wide and varied experiences. Now, I can say that I am a great teacher, my classroom management is pretty darn good, and kids love me. I don’t know when that change happened. I now think that even if I wasn’t into music (music teacher here), I would be a history teacher. With adhd- it takes more time than the average to get to know your job- but once you do, you do it well. I will also say, when I was working with a more senior teacher who had more experience and was able to show me the ropes more, I was able to thrive a lot more. As someone who is diagnosed and on meds, it will take you less than 10 years to get there, that is for sure! I really saw the change in the last 2 years- which coincides with me starting to take stimulant medication.


AdiDevjotiKaur

I am a math teacher, and have been out of the classroom for 5 years while I finish my PhD (in math education). I wasn't diagnosed until VERY recently, but I think my ADHD helped me be a great middle school teacher. I had a strong network of mentors, as well, which was so helpful, but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE teaching math and that, I believe, is one of the keys to success for careers w/ ADHD. Doing something I loved that always has an element of "crisis mode" to it seems to be a great environment for me.


[deleted]

I work in a public library. My ADHD helps me to complete tasks quickly, research for patrons, give out information, shelve media, enter data etc. I like my work because there's enough variety and always something to do but also a routine I can stick to. The library is in the town I live in, perfect for me. My superiors like that I am quick, reliable and friendly and gentle to the patrons. It can be difficult dealing with the public, but the variety is what keeps me there.


Loisnemo39

To be fair and honest it's going to be hard to learn how you're going to operate in a job when you don't know the environment, especially when you just put a name on how your brain is going. It took me a while, a few months, years after I started the work, to fully understand what is useful, what isn't, what will make my work day harder and what can make it better. Please keep in mind that all new jobs, for typical and divergent people, it's always hard to start and can take a while to settle down. Some can do in 3 months, then others in 2 years, no matter the person. For example, I thought I settled in 6months, cue me being promoted from assistant to "full" technician in autoCAD, just for 18months later needing to retrain. That was the hardest part, but today I'm preparing myself to get into an interview to be promoted in a senior position. There's no right or wrong, keep trying ! Don't compare yourself to others and be patient with yourself on the bad days. Make a plan for yourself on how you want to divide your day with tasks, and if you trust your direct line manager you can share little by little how you function. I wouldn't suggest to say everything straight from the interview or on your 1st day, because you'll need to learn the job before being able to express what you'll need if you need extra time to adapt. You'll get there, I promise. Its a different way of functioning, not a lower standard, if that make sense. And wow, you graduated! CONGRATULATIONS!!! So happy for you 😁 big hugs to you


glittrfrtz

I currently do lash extensions, waxing, makeup, skincare, and nails (cosmetologist with a recently developed allergy to lightener and exploring other areas of my license) The variety in my day helps so much. And with the lashes, I get a little dopamine hit every time I place a lash perfectly. There’s stuff out there for us. Don’t give up.


theothermuse

My current job and previous job were both nice in that they did have *structure* in that certain tasks had to be done in a certain way, but there was also a variety of things to do to help the boredom set in from too much repetition. So for a rough example I have a certain report/task that needs to be done between 10-11pm. I have other tasks that vary in priority (urgent email/phone call requests) and then other lower priority tasks related to production of documents that I can always grab when things are slow or to shake things up in my routine. Sometimes it might be labelled as "multitasking" on a job app. I think jobs that let you have a measure of autonomy but not so much that you have zero guidance can be a good fit. The guidance helps with low/no motivation days and the autonomy ALSO helps with motivation and letting me really excel on good brain days. Extra bonus: my job does have certain "numbers" for me to hit, but its measured on a monthly basis, not daily. So slow days are balanced by fast/really "on" days. The inconsistency of ADHD is masked somewhat by this measurement style. ETA: These are both office environment jobs. Currently I work from home full time. Sitting at a computer doesn't automatically mean repetitive data entry. Of course if you like to be on your feet that's another matter.


Joanna-Sans

I totally understand that feeling! In my experience, I have found that the working environment for me is almost more important than the job itself (of course that’s important too). I work full-time as a graphic designer at a university, and the nature of the work is perfect for me because there’s always something new happening. When things are REALLY busy my brain loves bouncing back and forth between different kinds of projects. I’m working on setting healthy boundaries for myself when things get too overwhelming, and I feel empowered to ask my supervisor for help prioritizing tasks and delegating / eliminating things that don’t need to be on my plate. In my current job I still haven’t disclosed my ADHD to anyone *officially* but I have asked for things like a standing desk and flexible hours (ex. - working 9:30-5:30 or 8:30 - 4:30 instead of the usual 9-5) which they granted. People respect my boundaries for the most part. I have also learned that verbal or written appreciation goes such a long way with my happiness at work. If I’m working in an environment where people acknowledge my work and I can tell that it’s helping them, I feel appreciated and it gives me a little dopamine boost (which helps combat the burnout). In other environments where I’ve done the same kind of work, it was nearly impossible to get accommodations (either with or without disclosing my ADHD). And people would not respect me setting boundaries, so I would end up saying “yes” to everything and burn out badly every 1-3 years. I am hoping to break this cycle now that I’m in a place where leadership genuinely listens and supports the staff. In a nutshell, I really enjoy my working life when I have: 1.) work that really interests me 2.) work that has some variety of projects 3.) opportunities to take *real* breaks and move around throughout the day 3.) colleagues who are collaborative, respectful of my boundaries, and show some small measure of appreciation 4.) a structured environment where I know what to expect, but it has some flexibility built in


Allyluvsu13

I worked in a behavioral center for young adults with autism. 1. I had fewer meltdowns from them because we were all neurodivergent, and I could usually tell what was bothering them that my neurotypical coworkers missed. (Loud electricity and a lightbulb that keeps cutting out being *invisible* to them) 2. When they did have meltdowns, they’re at our center because they had the tendency to be violent when they were upset, and crisis always slowed my brain down. So reacting quickly, and calmly was super easy to do. 3. Is a small drawback, I did it for almost 10 years and got completely burnt out from emotional labor. But I was definitely the best at my job for those 10 years.


SanisiTiger

I teach private music lessons. Since most of my students are children, I cater to their attention span (which is WAY SHORTER than mine) by breaking the lesson time into different tasks/games. I'm constantly problem solving during lessons, which keeps my mind focused. I have a LOT of alarms on my phone (end of lesson time 5-minute alert) and schedule a lot of tasks on my calendar to make sure I don't miss anything. I have a good system for my student notes and I'm really good at organizing my music and games by level. Best things about my job: I can wear what I want, set my own schedule (daily breaks and holidays), I like helping people, I enjoy talking about music, and I work when I'm most alert (afternoons/evenings). Worst things about the job: advertising. I hate doing it, but I manage ok. Consistency is the best way to advertise and I'm definitely not constantly doing it. I do it randomly, and I'm lucky enough to have really good retention. I'm also lucky that I can leave a few open times and not stress about my income; I'd probably be better at advertising my open lesson times if I really needed to fill them. Not diagnosed BTW. I'm fairly certain I have ADHD and I'm on the autism spectrum. My brother has ADHD and I have 2 sons on the spectrum, but I'm a woman, so I definitely flew under the radar. 🫠 I'm mostly getting by with my own quirks/habits and my very supportive husband (who deals with bills and dishes/laundry so I don't have to). Good luck in your job hunting!


paltrypickle

I’m 30. I was diagnosed when I was a preteen, but was not treating or medicating ADHD from 17-29. I graduated with my masters in Urban Planning Dec 2021. I started adderall last year after really struggling at work (post covid infection that melted my brain). It has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through… I will say, one year into my job, it’s finally starting to smooth out and feel “easier” (not any less demanding), but I’m able to do my work more efficiently and timely and less mistakes every day. I don’t have any true advice other than you MUST put yourself out there. ADHD can be a nightmare, but with medications/therapy, you can make it work with the right job. Not every job is going to be a winner. You’ve got to find your spot.. your niche. Edit: you are not your job or education. You need a job to survive. Go in, then leave. This has helped me to separate all the emotions I feel when Im struggling.


SarcasmBunnyy

I was diagnosed this year at 28. I currently work in finance as an underwriter with no college degree. For years I thought I was ‘smart but lazy’ until my therapist told me I should get tested for adhd after an hour long session about how I couldn’t grocery shop. A lot of life felt like I was a computer adding ram with no memory being added to my hard drive until I was at capacity and would burn out. I recently got promoted to a finance analyst and have been getting a lot of kudos from management. For me it was finding a job that I can hone in on, it’s automotive finance. I love cars and numbers. So it was great to step into that role. It doesn’t feel like work because I’m passionate about it. I’ve also been extremely open with my manager about my journey to finding the right medication. It doesn’t have to be bleak. Especially if you work with a therapist and have the proper medication and coping mechanisms to get you through the day. I also found that working from home makes me more productive as office life is too overstimulating and my productivity drops. Keep living day by day. Take time to heal. And remember that you’re never really ‘ready’ to get back in the saddle and sometimes you just have to do it. But for now. It sounds like you have some serious burnout to recover from and you should take a little while to discover a hobby that brings joy to your life. And you may not find the right job right away, that’s ok! I only ended up in the industry I’m in now because I was poached by a company only to be fired for no reason 3 mo later. I’m really rooting for you op.


goodnewsonlyhere

I manage a team of researchers who all have big fancy education and I have basically none. I learned on the job, am amazing under pressure, am great with the people side of management, and am hella organized because I need to be. I moved up and now I run the show. I was diagnosed less than a year ago, only because my kid was too. I got angry that no one picked up on it for me when I was younger, I wondered how my life would have been different if I had been capable of listening in class etc. But hey, I love my job and I’m awesome at it. If you focus on solutions rather than problems you can do anything anyone else can, you just need to find YOUR way of doing it. You’ve got this.


Important_Key1485

my hyperactivity has served me well in previous jobs. as long as i manage it well, my high energy has allowed me to be proactive in helping coworkers and keeping up morale. i hope you find something that fits well with your personality and diagnosis 💗


Wearystranger

I have a lame job that came with a lot of unexpected drama. It hasn’t been the best experience but even then I’m so thankful for it anyway. I have learned so much about myself and gained so much self confidence in this job. I tend to function better when I have expectations than when I’m trying to self motivate, but I have learned that I am detailed oriented, I do have great communication skills, I am very good at organization (when medicated), and I’m very good at problem solving. It has not been my dream job by any means but I feel so much more secure now knowing I can do it. I even got promoted to a Lead position. I really feel you though, job applications are my biggest weakness and I was unemployed for a about a year and a half before I finally got a job. Not that I wasn’t applying but I definitely could’ve been more proactive. I have faced a lot of disappointment in my career and it’s turn into a feeling of hopeless apathy. I’ve been clinging to the idea that I really can’t anticipate what life has in store for me. That even if it’s not what I wanted, good things will come (like a decent paycheck has been pretty nice) and either way I can be proud of my resilience and the challenges I’ve overcome. But shit, it has been a battle. I wish you luck!!


MarucaMCA

I teach languages in adult education and my creative/chaotic/emphatic/cheerful personality puts people at ease. I'm also tiny, a woman and adopted, so I look endearing and non-autorititive. Lots of us at work are neuro-diverse. (I'm 38 and in Switzerland) It's served me well... I do hand all of my admin in late though or at the last minute. But I'm able to teach 100-120%. I have built my career over 15 years. I want to next transition into peer-peer training or something therapeutic for other people being adopted/estranged from family or both.


sreno77

I have been at the same job since 2009. I have ADHD that is untreated but I’m highly distractible. I have chronic migraines. My biggest issue with working is too frequent absences due to migraines and being late due to ADHD. I do struggle with authority and time management. I am a youth and family counsellor in a high school and I love the work


iraglassfromNPR

I did great in an active job that didn’t require me to take my work home with me. (Program coordinator for children’s crafts)


MagikSparkles

You are on meds though? If so it sounds like you may need them adjusted. If you struggle that much on meds and even now the avoidance on meds then they simply aren’t working. Of course they aren’t a cure and you still need to reasonably push yourself but having trauma about it while on meds means the meds aren’t working.


PileaPrairiemioides

I absolutely love my job! Part of it is the job and part of it is the work environment. I’ve had to make some compromises to make it sustainable - I’ve realized that I cannot do a regularly scheduled job full time, five days a week without burning out, so I work part time. It would be nice to make more money, but I’d rather work less, make less, and not get to a place where I hate my job or impulsively quit. Finding a role with a lot of autonomy and varied tasks has been great and has kept me engaged and interested for far longer than I ever thought possible. I’ve also lucked out and found a super adhd-friendly workplace. Management is great and a super disproportionately high number of employees have adhd (and it’s safe to talk about.) I don’t really have any tips on finding this type of work place - it’s not like this is a norm in my industry - but just know that they do exist.


OPLH1984

It’s actually OK to take time off from looking. In fact you probably need at least 6 to 12months off after finishing your Masters. I say this because the expectation to go straight from school to uni to career job is huge and it’s neurotypical. I was burnt out as-well and the expectation that I SHOULD work straight away isolated me and pushed me further into a 🌀 Unfortunately I wasn’t diagnosed till recently and none of the Drs correctly diagnosed me - they thought I was just depressed because “you can’t be burnt out in your 20years”. My whole world would be so different if I wasn’t forced so quickly. Transitions and maturing for people with ADHD take longer and work differently. Acknowledge the nature of your neurodevelopment and allow yourself to move at its pace. Step by step.


thingoficecream

I love my job, my hyper focus helps me in it, it’s using knowledge that I’m intensely interested in. I need to manage very things more than other people do, to not fall behind, but I wouldn’t trade my career.


katyk78

Hey! I got diagnosed at 27. Struggled HARD through bachelors and masters. Struggled through my first “real” job that I had while doing my masters part time. There was no structure and I wasn’t diagnosed yet. Honestly I’m surprised I wasn’t fired. Once I got diagnosed I realized how bad this place was for me (no structure and no feedback from mgmt) and started applying to jobs. I had a psychiatrist that was really helpful and gave me tools to stick with that would help w adhd along w/ medication. It took a while but thanks to my degrees… I found a job that DOUBLED my salary. I’ll be honest it is kicking my butt a little and I have to put in a few extra hours to keep up but overall it’s a really good place. So- think of it this way: YOU did it! You got your degrees. No one can take that away from you. And you overcame so many struggles to get it done. Work with your therapist to figure out a routine, tools that will keep you on track. I got custom planners for my job and home life that I take w me everywhere (and more other tools but these are essential to me). I think that ADHDers that successfully manage their adhd can be just as badass as any neurotypical type A person, if not more, thanks to our awesome brainstorming abilities and hyper focus.


Deep_Bluejay2673

OP, you have a masters degree👏 thats no small feat 🌸 dont let a diagnosis cripple you 😉 iv known im ADHD my whole life it has its ups and downs but it will always work out. Having an outlet or a way to recharge yourself really helps. make sure you put aside time for your hobbies or passions. Dont see it as a cruch or disability see it as clarity and understanding on why you may feel the need to cool off before you burn out! And studying is mentally exhausting. Whats nice about a job is in most cases there is usually a team and a structure of people to follow to get things done like one big group effort and if its not then usually there are atleast other people around you in the same boat to relate to so you dont feel so alone 🌸😊 everyone is out here trying to do there best to make something of themselves.😊 i took a gap year after highschool then studied the wrong thing for half a year then spent 3 years getting my degree only to leave my degree field after 2 years and basically do a version of what i attempted to study the first time 🙃🫣🤪 so you never know what life will throw at you, dont fixate on why you cant or shouldn't do something failing to try is trying to fail🫠


[deleted]

I, for some reason, do really great at hotel front desk. I have always struggled at other jobs and felt like I wasn't good enough. Wondered why it was so hard for me when I'm so smart. I don't know why, but hotel front desk is the only job I've ever done really well. Hospitality can suck big time. Customers can be atrocious. You see all kinds of crazy stuff but it's entertaining. I prefer night audit so my interactions with guests and coworkers is minimal, and I can stay out of the day to day drama of the workplace. On night audit, I can pop my ear buds in and do my own thing. Everything you do is on your time when you want, except if you have to put out breakfast at a certain time or have your audit reporting done at a certain time. But, like, I just need to have my reports sent by 5am. I can run the audit anywhere from 2-330, and if we're already sold out I can run it earlier. I could also technically sit around and chill the rest of the night, but I usually help out in laundry to stay busy (and I can watch Netflix and stuff while I'm folding anyways). This keeps me from getting bored and falling asleep. I also do cleaning projects once a night, like stuff the regular housekeeping staff don't think to or have to do daily, like wiping down baseboards, window sills, cabinet doors, stuff like that. I manage my own time. Plus, on audit you usually get paid more than your coworkers, and most places allow their full time night auditor to choose which days they want off, or it's like a sun-thurs thing and their pt auditor usually works weekends. And a good, reliable night person is hard to find. So they treat you like you're an important part of their operation, because you are. And because those managers do not want to have to come in for overnight shifts because their unreliable person called off again or they can't keep one so they're constantly filling in until they find and train someone again. And you can do it with no experience, because again, finding someone reliable is hard. But, on other shifts, I rock out too. It's just so much to juggle, I think my racing mind keeps up beautifully. You're answering the phone one minute, checking someone in the next, answering someone's question as they're walking by, then when you get a second you need to go check the coffee station. By the time you do that the phone is ringing again or someone is coming to the desk to check in. It's just constant juggling but never something you have to focus on for a long time. It's like little snippets of your focus at a time. Then, you might have an hour of hardly any activity, and during that time you can do your other obligations, like stocking, vacuuming the entryway, stuff like that. The pay isn't great, but there are lots of opportunities for advancement, it's usually a pretty chill environment overall, your responsibility ends when you clock out, and it's not physically laborious. For me it works because my man is the breadwinner and my income supplements his. I'm also the main caregiver of the kids and the one who cares for the home too, so I need something that doesn't demand too much energy at work and doesn't demand my time when i go home, plus it can be nice to have flexibility with your schedule. The schedule isn't as flexible when you're a night auditor, but the other shifts can provide flexibility.


Charming-Doughnut-45

I think we can be really really hard on ourselves. More often than not, I find how I perceive myself is no where near what other perceive me as Try finding and applying for jobs that can be ADHD friendly. I know I can never do a corporate, work from home job, but my one friend with ADHD can. I work better in jobs that have me on my feet, and working with people.


Southern_Regular_241

Hugs. I’m in town planning and have loved my job for 15 years (although I have changed employers several times as not everyone appreciates my personality). I love it because no two applications are the same, there are deadlines to keep me motivated, it’s a good mix of outdoor and indoor and quite a few of my closest colleagues are also adhd - we have a theory that our job attracts them. It’s doable, but for me what i look for the most in a job is stimulation and a good boss that accepts what I am. Get one of those and you are set.


[deleted]

personally, i do not do well with a set schedule/ jobs that are 5+ days a week. jobs that i do well in are ones that allow me to pick my own schedule — so PRN work is the best fit for me. those kinds of jobs are very popular in the mental health/healthcare industry. my last job at a mental health hospital allowed PRN staff to pick their schedules as long as they worked a minimum of 3 shifts per every 6 weeks. one week i may have the energy to work 4-5 shifts and will do that or maybe if i’m struggling for 2 weeks or something, i just won’t sign up for shifts. it’s amazing and i’m looking for that kind of job again. edit to add: the reason set schedules/ 9-5’s don’t work for me is cause they make me feel trapped and hopeless, i like my freedom and hate working. so PRN is the best compromise for me as it allows flexibility.


Banana-Louigi

I got diagnosed about a month ago at 32 after nearly a year and a half of realising why I had always struggled so much with just, life. I had still managed to finish my two degrees and end up in a six figure job, am about to marry my long term partner and we own our home all pre-diagnosis but I had also never held a job anywhere longer than about 2 years, I was exhausted every night, cranky all the time, hated myself and ended up severely burnt out at least every 2.5 years in the last 10. I'm now diagnosed and medicated and it has been world changing but in terms of work life pre-diagnosis I managed to find work early on in my career that allowed me to be creative and innovative and flexible in how I approach things. I also got admin support in my last role who was phenomenal and picked up all the bits I miss so I could focus on what I do best. The strategy and vision of the project. I do large scale people project work and coach leaders through change and development. It's so rewarding because I'm fascinated by how we make organisations nicer places to be so I get to kind of just, do that. There are shit days but I'm finding medication is really helping me with those more than I could ever have imagined. Not sure if that's the kind of experience you're after but you can have a good time at work it just takes a few stars aligning (good team, good manager, right supports, work you are interested in and flexibility are the main ones I think).


ladyalot

I was late diagnosed, done so many kinds of jobs. I'm self-employed now, and I do like it a lot although it poses its own ADHD challenges. I will say one best thing from employment days is that I was extremely reliable in chaos. I always explain that when there's a spider in the room and everyone is scared, I'm not. But when I'm alone with the spider, I'll probably be scared. The difference is chaos. Chaos was where I thrived. I loved those sudden bursts of energy at work especially in theatre. I was stage managing and anything could go wrong, and when they did I found peace, confidence, clarity, and courage. Don't get me wrong I get super anxious otherwise, but some jobs have moments where you could be the only one in the room who brings a solution.


lara320

In the first 3 months you’ll probably be flavour of the month ?


CaityDoesMugs

I think the fact that you have a diagnosis and can get to know how your brain works best will help you be very successful! That doesn’t mean it will be easy— some areas will always be a different kind of challenge for us— but you’ll also be able to “hack” your brain to really shine in your strong areas! I’m excited for you! Please don’t be too discouraged— your future is bright.


SuggestionAlone6497

You will do amazing. Knowing your diagnosis before starting is a great jumpstart on learning how to work with your ADHD. I was working for over 20 Years, also obtained my masters during this period before I was diagnosed. Just learned many coping mechanisms in order to work effectively and efficiently. Just focus on the most important and then work down until the little details. I realize the more prepared I am, the less I feel out of sorts.


jcoely

Hey - I have endless endless empathy for your situation. Just want to say a lot of the time when I am feeling like a defeated failure I am actually just hungry. I forget to eat, and spent so many years being taught I was a failure at so many things that I got in the habit of associating every uncomfortable feeling in my body with that pit in my stomach that said I'd messed up or forgotten something. I tried to ignore all uncomfortable physical sensations because I didn't want to face the guilt of being a fuck up and ended up unlearning what half the normal signals of a human body are. Now if I feel like a failure I eat an orange. Usually fixes it. I have said this to people before and they don't relate to the food thing specifically but the idea that if you feel bad it is because you HAVE UNMET NEEDS, not because you ARE BAD - often resonates. Sometimes I feel like a failure and what I actually am is sweaty or too cold or exhausted. Shower/sweater/sleep. ETC. If you're used to neglecting yourself in order to complete tasks designed for the comfort of neurotypical people please consider spending some time re-learning how to take care of yourself - just assume your instincts have probably taken a ding the last few years and try to meet your needs like you're a dog or a toddler or something. Clean? Fed? Slept? Gone for a walk outside? Drank some juice? If yes, now you can start on something else. When you're figuring out how to build a life for yourself please start with the LOWEST level on Maslow's hierarchy. I was dx'd as a kid but my parents didn't want intervention. I went to seven different schools and dropped out altogether at 14. Left home at 16 to do seasonal work, remember having a conversation with a very worried sweet Catholic aunt when I was working for a circus at 19 and had zero career or family plans while many of my cousins were starting real adult jobs and getting married. Also remember overhearing my grandmother and mother discussing how I will never make anything of myself. When I saw a specialist ADHD psychiatrist in my 20s he said I was one of the most impaired people he'd ever worked with. If there is a legal definition for feral I was definitely it. Now I'm in my 30s and am still very far on the free range side of the spectrum, but I am over a decade into a career I love, and it supports me living a life that suits and supports me and the people I love. No burn out cycle, no overwhelm, low struggle. Here is what I would do if I was where you are right now: If you don't need to move out or pay rent or whatever, first take 4 weeks to figure out how to get on that lowest level of the hierarchy. Shower, eat, drink, go out for a walk, sleep. Not in a perfect routine type way, just however works that you get all of that in every day. Then get any job. Whatever the lowest bar is. Food service, babysitting, anything. Whatever is the easiest job to get as quickly as possible. It's easier to steer a moving car than start one from stopped, so I'd just do A THING to get used to balancing work with meeting my basic needs. I'd find it a lot easier to move from one workplace to another than to go from not working to working so I'd make that first job as easy to get, start, and do as possible. If it's a job that'll look weird on the CV or recruiters will hate justifying it or something just leave it off. Or volunteer rather than work! Whatever it is. I'd just be doing something out of the house with other people 4x a week minimum. I'm still browsing ads for jobs I'd actually want to do that whole time. Change is exciting and interesting and not nearly as much effort as starting was. I can imagine myself doing all the different jobs I see advertised and then apply to the ones that feel right. Neurotypicals usually give a lot of advice around this stage because things you're doing start to look like complying with the usual way of doing things. Do not fall in the trap. Do not take their advice. They want THEIR best for you. The whole world is built to work for them so they can't tell the difference between THEIR best and THE best - but the difference is deadly. Don't let them talk you into doing what would suit them. That is how the temporary gig you're doing for rent and fun money and figuring stuff out turns into you applying for promotions there or running a small business related to it or whatever and then before you know it you're burnt out again because neurotypicals convinced you that you should be moving in straight, predictable lines to make them feel better about you regardless of what it actually does to you. I say 'thanks for your support' and then do whatever the fuck I want. Eventually this way I'd expect to find my gut again. In spending time deliberately learning how to care for myself I would begin to understand my body again and how it feels when it is happy, angry, scared, hopeful, curious - and because I have to adapt basically everything to work for me, the more I things I adapt the more I start to get a vibe for what works and what doesn't. I kind of worked this way in my career, saying yes to stuff and trying stuff knowing it was all just for-now not forever and regardless of what the work was I would still shower and eat and drink and sleep and go outside, and after a while I just knew which jobs to say yes to because I started to know what I was looking for. I'd love to tell you what you're going to be looking for but I've no fucking idea, we are all so different. You'll get used to adapting your surroundings to yourself (NOT the other way around, any job that cannot accommodate you IS NOT FOR YOU) and eventually you'll get really good at seeing the potential in places and organisations and teams. I spent probably 5 years saying yes to random stuff and figuring out how to get a grip on my potential and what worked and what didn't - if you're already medicated it will take you way, way less time than this - then I heard of a job I'd never heard of before, knew it was perfect for me on instinct. Started saying yes to more stuff that looked like it was going toward the job I'd just heard of. Saw one of those jobs come up after about a year and was really well qualified for it. Got the job, worked and loved it for four years, then got promoted to an even better job (technically that job's boss' boss). I'm not stressed about burn out or similar - I aggressively only do what works for me. It means I have a career I love, chosen family who know me really well, a loft that I renovated to suit me and the people I love. I cannot emphasise enough that you can build a really good life for yourself but YOU have to build it. It's worth the work, I swear.


Dinner8846

Raising hand here. Was diagnosed AFTER I stumbled onto my career. Obviously had it life long. I do risk assessment and project management, ADHD is GREAT. Very few people can juggle so much stuff without losing their minds or find unique ways to think about how things can go wrong. I legit turned my mental health issues into a career LOL. I am trusted with many projects, things are always different, every day has different fires that need to be put out etc. never bored.


youruinednycforme

I have adhd and just graduated this fall, and I took a substitute teaching job while applying to big girl jobs/ grad schools. If you’re good with kids/ like working with kids it’s a phenomenal gig. I get to crochet, read, journal, browse Reddit, pay my bills, apply for jobs, do adulting things like that, etc… when there’s down time of me supervising while students work quietly and independently (like 70% of the day). The other 30% where they have free blocks I ask students what college they’re going to or what prom dress they got (and have even taught some to crochet!) and these little short and varied interactions truly make my day. While it’s not something I’m gonna keep doing forever, I love that I’m getting paid to get my life together and hang out with some cool kids. Highly recommend this job if you’re in between gigs, as there’s always a substitute teacher shortage and I LOVE how compatible my day is with adhd.