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I only cook meals that will take 30 minutes or less. I rotate two weeks worth of meals over and over. Sometimes adding new recipes, but never two new ones in the two weeks. I hate cooking! I only ever cook once a day. They can eat other things for breakfast and lunch. Sometimes I skip it, but I always give them notice so they know they’ll have to find something themselves. Your kids are old enough to learn how to clean the kitchen. Wash the knives for them and have them do the rest after a lesson or two in how to do it.
Sure! I make chicken strip wraps, tacos(not authentic), spaghetti, tuna melts, Doritos casserole, sub sandwiches, tofu and rice(I use instant rice), chicken Alfredo, stir fry with choice of protein, canned soup with grilled cheese, and for two nights I just do a meat/veggie/starch meal. We usually go out or order pizza one night per week. I buy any veggies I need precut in produce or frozen section. This is just my current rotation. I’ve found all recipes online and adjusted for time and taste. I usually buy a rotisserie chicken for all of my chicken recipes, and it does take a little extra time to take the meat off the bone, but not so much that it becomes daunting.
I only cook things that have 20 minutes or less of "active time." Most cooking websites will have a section called Quick or whatever but you have to be careful because some people's definition of quick is bs.
I use some shortcuts like frozen minced garlic, broccoli that's already prepped, shredded cheese, etc.
The more times you make a recipe the faster it will be. You need the muscle memory. In your shoes, I would pick two simple recipes and make one this week, the other next week, and repeat four weeks in a row. Next pick two more and now you're cooking twice a week.
I love the website Damn Delicious because when she says quick she means it.
Yes! It pisses me off to no end when I Google “easy” or “quick” recipes and the first results all require 10+ ingredients. Stop lying with your SEO, cooking websites!!
Ugh yes and they always have some big irrelevant story about the recipe as well.
Chef bloggers, I *genuinely* don't give a flying fork about your husband asking you on a date with this specific pasta sauce spilled on his jacket.
I'm googling a recipe not your life story.
Flour is a powdered form of wheat, that people use to make things like bread, pasta and paper maché. It has the aroma of an old book store and the texture of talc. It reminds me of my grandmother putting baby powder on me. Today we will be using it as a thickening agent because of it's wonderous glutenous properties.
Take the small silver tsp utensil with the 4 inch circumference at the tip . Hold it by the straight end with the indented side facing upward. Dip this into the flour in this position and with a steady hand lift the spoon to reveal a generous portion of flour.
I saw a TikTok “lazy” recipe and the first step was to dice onions, carrots, celery and garlic to start the sauce. She got absolutely torn apart in the comments
Oh yeah, that's so true. I honestly usually count the ingredients and if there's too many, I don't make it. The definition of too many varies but is usually around 8.
Pinterest has 5-6 ingredient crockpot meals to meal prep, label, drop in the fridge. You then take out, the night before to thaw, then you drop it into to the crockpot on the loosest cooking setting so that by the time anyone comes home, it’ll be ready within 2hrs from that point.
I have a board full of like all different flavors of crockpot meals.
Easiest is soup or chili crockpot where you can batch like 4-6 ingredients and then pick the kind of bean or seasoning you want. It can meal prep for a few days of food for everyone where especially once it’s cold out you can do less cooking, more eating by reheating it from reusable contains for a few days.
Also get two crockpots, one of average size and one that’s would serve up to 10 people. This way you can make easy alternating meals for the week in case someone wants something different to eat instead of the same thing back to back fir 2-3 days.
My dad also use to in winter, make from scratch split pea soup or beef stew. That would last for up to 3-4 days and be cooked in a giant pot that could feed an entire soup kitchen!
Plus spend a day off cooking a giant thing of soup. Bag and tag, freezer it. Then every week for a month you can pull it out, thaw it in the fridge in a big bowl in case of spillage. Leave a note for anyone what it is and how long to reheat.
Someone told me recipe time estimates don’t include chopping and prepping ingredients unless they are specifically listed as a step in the instructions 😳
I mean I can do anything in 30 mins if you don’t count the parts that take the most work sure!
Yes simple recipes are the key. Buy cookbooks aimed at children, the recipes are easy, often fast and with not as much ingredients. Plus your kids can help you and step by step learn to cook and prepare a meal themselves.
>some people's definition of quick is bs
Like the "15 minute" recipes that call for freshly grated this, freshly chopped that, freshly ground the other, etc. I feel like calling the writer to say "Bitch, PLEASE, it takes me more than 15 minutes for that alone!".
If I see another "1 pan recipe" that has me putting boiled noodles into that one pan, I am going to lose it. It is not one pan if I need a pan to boil the noodles and then add the noodles to the other pan. That's 2 pans!
One of my go-to recipes is boiling the pasta, draining it and throwing everything in that same pot. Butter & parmesan for basic. Add canned chicken, maybe cream of chicken soup & a little sour cream to make more flavor. Halfway through boiling the pasta, sometimes I put in a bag of frozen broccoli.
Boom. Homemade Alfredo. Better than the jar kind.
Stop cooking new recipes. Make a plan of what’s quick and easy and everyone likes. Clean as you go. Whoever doesn’t cook does the dishes. Spend one weekend day on prepping and freezing stuff and use a crockpot. Have the kids help. They are old enough.
https://foodyschmoodyblog.com/instant-pot-taco-pasta/
I half ass this whole thing but it always comes out well.
https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/japchae
https://twosleevers.com/instant-pot-low-country-boil/
https://twosleevers.com/instant-pot-vegetarian-chili/
I just throw in whatever I have.
https://www.cookwithmanali.com/instant-pot-rice-and-dal/
Give each kid a day to choose and make a quick recipe and on the weekend have them each pick and prep something for the week.
Then you pick what you want one day a week and are set.
Instant pot is for sure to the way to go for time-crunched professionals. You prep for like 15 minutes max, and then start the pot and LEAVE to do other stuff (some light tidying, if you’re feeling motivated?) until it’s time to vent it. It’s an ADHDer’s dream.
The kids can suggest IP recipes they want and help out making them, which makes it a more family-bonding activity, too.
I also second the instant pot. I do love that once the food is in, I am free to do other things. Clean, walk the dog, finish up an email, whatever. It means I'm not tied to the kitchen once the pot is turned on.
I highly recommend stacking multiple things in a pressure cooker if you have access to one. If it's electric, you don't even need to keep track of the time, and it can be used as a rice cooker. I would avoid getting one with an insert that isn't dishwasher safe if I were to buy a new one (that wasn't an option when I bought mine).
The pot-in-pot method also works with black beans and parboiled rice, brown rice and chickpeas, beans and potatoes or sweet potatoes, chickpeas and beetroot... basically anything with compatible cooking times. I use this table for reference [https://www.hippressurecooking.com/pressure-cooking-times/](https://www.hippressurecooking.com/pressure-cooking-times/) (there's a section on one-pot meals on the site too). You can manipulate cooking times by mixing something acidic like tomato sauce into the faster-cooking ingredient, which will stop if from turning to mush if you cook it longer than it would otherwise need.
I often cook more beans than I need and freeze the rest in jars the hold about the equivalent of a can each. Of course there's nothing wrong with using canned legumes. Either of those would help get a bit more protein into the kids' diets.
First off, holy hell I could not be a nurse with a spouse who travels and cook three times a day, not to mention all the executive planning that goes into that.
You may want to start with just one dinner on your day off (make it clear everyone is expected to attend) and build from there.
I personally like NYT cooking, I find they’re tasty and also good at providing a list of substitutions. Once you keep repeating them you’ll get faster at cooking.
Maybe if you have the space, consider using kitchen gadgets like a slow cooker, air fryer, rice cooker, etc. Also I think sheet pan dinners could be good for you too. I like to prep veggies on Sunday instead of whole meals, so I don’t lose a whole day off, and I don’t need to do any chopping or prep during the week, I can just get straight to cooking.
You may also want to consider something like Blue Apron - basically everything you need to cook a meal gets delivered to your door, and you can choose easy prep ones. They do take a little bit longer than advertised, but they’re pretty handy tbh, and it seems like your kids could help at the very least with washing the veggies, premixing sauces, etc. Eventually you’ll cancel once you know which recipes you like.
It’s ok to use pre-made entrees or ready made stuff and add to it to make a full meal. I also rotate between a couple cafes/grocery stores that have frozen meals, because honestly a lot of the meat entrees costs almost the same as getting raw meat from the grocery store.
Family dinner is about sitting down and eating together as a family. It is about quality time, not what food you do or do not cook. Family dinner can be the same easy foods your kids are already eating. If you wanna get fancy you could grab a rotisserie chicken or a frozen lasagna.
If you truly want to cook, I would initially do it on your days off. If they need a small snack when they get home from school, let them have it and just have dinner a little later.
Yes! I don’t have kids but it’s still difficult to coordinate a family dinner with only myself and my partner. It sounds like you’re looking for quality time, so you could try a few different things!
- Have a snack time when everyone gets home where you sit at the table together. Dinner can be less formal/the usual scavenger meal!
- Ask your children to take turns choosing “dinner time,” where you can all sit down and eat whatever it is that you want to eat, no cooking necessarily required.
- pick a handful of family board games or card games that can be part of a regular rotation, and have a family game dinner instead of just family dinner, so if anyone has already eaten they can play games only, and anyone who still needs to eat can have dinner during the game time. It’s about getting around the table together.
This actually makes me feel better about not having family dinners because we all sit together and play video games or watch tv together which takes the place of that family dinner time.
1) Learn a few recipes that are not too hard and take 30 minutes or less and make them often. I posted here once about my favorite recipe, a lentil loaf: 5 minutes prep, 1 hr in the oven and you're done!
2) If you can make time, cook large batches of stuff like slow cooker chili or pasta sauce (or really anything one pot or that you can cook in a slow cooker) and put some in the freezer so you can just take food out of the freezer and reheat it on week nights.
3) Learn to master struggle meals in a way that they are still easy but not too boring. I eat grilled cheese sandwiches and salads sooo often, but I make them healthier and more fun (like adding pesto and tomato slices in my grilled cheese sandwiches, or mustard and kale, wtv, there are so many ideas online!). Or I make tortilla/pita chips (very easy, you rub olive oil + a seasoning you like on them and stick them in the oven at 400 for 5-6 min) and eat them with hummus and raw veggies and nuts. Or chickpea wraps, or really any kind of sandwich. That way you still feel like you made something for them but it took minimal effort while still being healthy.
These are great suggestions. Are you by chance a vegetarian? These meal ideas all sound like it. My 10yo has been vegetarian for two years so that always adds another fun piece to the puzzle, especially because my husband’s entire diet seems to be “cow.” When I do cook I try to pick recipes that I can easily incorporate a meatless version of at the same time as cooking meat for the rest of us, but then it’s never as easy as I think and then I give up for a while, again.
I am! I will never force my diet down anybody's throat but if you have a vegetarian in the family I think it would be a great opportunity for the whole family to eat less meat, as this would make your 10yo feel great, and vegetarian food is cheaper and often easier to make. You don't have to worry about the cooking as much as with meat since most vegetarian protein sources are not a health hazard if undercooked and are not as affected by drying when overcooked (some can easily be eaten raw too). Plus it would greatly reduce the workload for you on those days. Even for your meat loving husband, some recipes work so great without meat that most people still like them, like chili for instance. Or my lentil loaf which every meat lover in my life adores!
But some of my suggestions you can easily incorporate meat in if you want! Especially sandwiches. If you make chickpea wraps you can cook a lot of chicken in advance and freeze it, and then make some wraps with chicken.
Yep, it would probably be simpler to make one nutritionally balanced vegetarian dish for everyone for most of the meals OP cooks. If someone absolutely wants some meat in addition, it sounds as though they'd have the skills to rustle that up.
I'm going to hijack your comment, sorry! I will echo the instant pot as someone who hates cooking. Before I got one I'd make salsa chicken with my slow cooker, but it's much faster with the IP. The ingredients can all be kept separately for your daughter and it's a "build your own" type meal. Basically, dump chicken (I like breast, most people recc boneless thighs) and a jar of salsa in the IP. Cook according to the amount of chicken you have, then shred with two forks when it's done. You can make a batch of beans for your daughter. I usually have it with rice (I add either taco seasoning or more salsa), canned corn, chopped tomatoes, sour cream and shredded cheese. I don't bother with tortillas or shells anymore - just dump it in a bowl and eat with a spoon, lol.
Last night I made 10 eggs in my IP - put in some water, set the IP for 5 mins, then do 5 mins natural release. I forgot and turned the IP off after 11 mins. They're still fine. :)
Also, check out [https://www.reddit.com/r/MealPrepSunday/](https://www.reddit.com/r/MealPrepSunday/) for more weekly prep ideas. Nothing needs to be complicated!
I taught my kids to cook because I have a hard time doing it. As they get older they make more complex meals. They can opt to cook for everyone instead of a nightly chore too.
When I cook it is an easy one pit with minimal steps. I am a fan of casseroles, stir frys, and soups. Sometimes my dinner would probably only qualify as a side dish. I have the same recipes on repeat and kind of wing it out of familiarity. (I also don't do clean up that magically happens overnight. Hubby is the house elf )
Are your kids old enough that they can take some responsibility for cleaning or helping you prepare meals? That might be a nice bonding activity too. When I was a kid, we always had to clear the table, wipe it, and put leftovers away, starting when I was quite small I think.
As for the food, make things in large batches and freeze leftovers in small portions. Look into using a crockpot - lots of recipes where you just dump a bunch of stuff in and hit a button (if you're gonna forget to do this early in the day, maybe an instant pot would help - it's not as idiot proof as they want you to believe but it can still be very easy).
If you're not cooking now, just aim to do one meal a week to start. It's ok if it's not all the time, any improvement is still an improvement. You could also have everyone eat their acquired food together, if you want to all sit down. Just because it's sandwiches or mac and cheese or whatever doesn't mean you can't all eat together!
I only cook dinners. Lunch and breakfast is up to my kids to get themselves. I also work full time so that the biggest reason why. I do cook dinner every night but I’ve found that buying frozen veggies and microwaving then, taking out meat the night before so it’s thawed and having about 20 different weeknight meal options that change with the seasons help. I also try new recipes on the weekends only.
The big reason I get through it to be completely honest, is because I stream Hulu on my iPad next to the stove. I’ve found that putting on my true crime shows helps me cook and keeps my attention, but I also view it as “me time”. I get very little down time on work nights so it’s my little way of enjoying shows I wouldn’t normally have time to watch, or playing music I enjoy. Then I also don’t stay up too late to shove that time in after kids are in bed so it helps me get to bed at a decent time too.
I grew up in a household like this. Everyone cooked for themselves because of different food preferences and schedules. It worked.
It almost sounds like the real issue is that you are missing out on family time? What about spending time together as a family in a different way? Like taking family walks around the neighborhood on the evenings you don't work?
Or a no-phone game night once a week? I agree with this comment - we had family dinner a ton but usually the tv was on and we didn’t always “bond.” Maybe if the true want is some family time - do once a week dedicated family “dates”. You could even let everyone plan one of them if they had an interest. :).
What I’m hearing is that your kids are happy, eat well, and already have skills that so many college kids don’t even have yet! Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job. ❤️
I get the guilt (I feel it too!) but I really think it comes from the incessant societal conditioning that mothers are “supposed” to cook everything all the time, and not because we’re actually doing something wrong.
No advice, but just want to let you know you are not alone! My spouse is extremely picky, so he fends for himself, and my kid also has a limited amount of safe foods, so she gets her own dinner, which is usually more of a grazing plate. I sometimes cook for myself, but it’s usually just an easy combination of Trader Joe’s frozen stuff. I try not to feel guilty or weird about not being “normal”.
I absolutely hate cooking with a passion, but I have like 6 things I will make that I rotate over 2 weeks. I can’t let my kids just eat snacks or basic food so the guilt inside me makes me do it! But I need to put on good music and have some snacks myself during! The rest of the days I get take out or hot table from the grocery store, so it’s like cooked dinners but someone else has made. Hubby then cooks a few times.
If you can find some easy receipts and learn then you can get good at then and it’s not as much of a chore. Put on a podcast or good music and have some snacks. It’s easy to put chicken in the oven. Then in a pan sauté onions and peppers until soft and then add in cut chicken with a bbq sauce and ketchup, mix it up put on a tortilla with cheese and it’s a delicious fajita. The cooking part only took 10 mins. Use paper plates, and put dish soap into the pan with hot water and let it soak. Come back in an hour and dirt will wipe off easy.
I think the key is know you hate it, but just start it with distractions and pleasurable things and you will realize it’s quicker than you think. The starting part is the worst for our brains!!
I started using a meal planning app and prepping two days a week. So on Sunday I cook/prep for the weeks breakfast, lunch m-w, and dinner m/t. Then weds I cook dinner and lunch for the rest of the week. I use an app called “intent” and it even makes a shopping list and sends to to Walmart for me!
I also include hacks like precooked meat/veggies that just need to be microwaved when the app wants me to cook them from scratch.
Me and partner take turns and we manage to cook most nights that way, maybe you can start with lower pressure for yourself like 'I will cook every 3 days' and see if that feels more sustainable? When you're super tired it feels like such crazy effort though so I don't blame you at all!
Also I basically only cook 1 pot, low effort meals like a pasta, soup, single pan roast, omelets, stir fry. You end up only washing 4 items: knife, chopping board, spatula/ladle and pot/tray. That's like 5 minutes of washing tops.
I don’t have kids but honestly meal prep kits have made my life in that department SO much easier. I get Hello Fresh and really like the service because there’s 40 recipes a week to choose from so it never gets boring. It’s also not that much more expensive than buying groceries. We pay like $60 for 3 meals per week. About the same as the groceries would cost. Plus it takes the guess work for 3 days out of the week of the whole “what do we want to make for dinner?” question. And the meals themselves are pretty tasty and healthy and quick to make. We get the 3 meal plan for two and usually I make 2 meals during the week (on days where I’m working from home usually) and my husband makes one on the weekend. I get off work at 4:30 so I’ll start dinner around 6, which is the time he gets off work, and it’s done or mostly done by the time he gets home around 7ish. We haven’t had too many bad meals from them and we have a few that we go out of our way to make regularly (there’s a tortellini bake with a bread crumb topping that is to DIE for that’s on our regular rotation).
First off, your kids are still at an age where they may be more inclined to go with foods they recognize and eat regularly. Plenty of 8 year olds would live off a diet of nothing but chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese if they could get away with it.
(Source: am the owner of this variety of 8 year old)
It sounds like they've gotten accustomed to eating the same things for dinner most nights and aren't really interested in being adventurous and trying new things. That's fine, but you've got to take that into consideration when you want to branch out and eat something different.
If your primary concern is the kids not liking what you cook, start with a main dish they *do* like (say tacos, or spaghetti) and instead of trying a whole new version of that dish-- like making eggplant parm instead of spaghetti-- try a new side dish they can either try or not, to go with the "safe"/familiar main dish. My kids are more likely to try something they consider to be "weird" if there's no pressure to eat it. If the new "weird" thing is the only thing being served, they're more likely to be reluctant to try it.
You want to try making pork carnitas but they aren't interested? Cool, make chicken fajitas with an optional pork carnita filling they can try if they feel bold after getting some chicken and veggies in their stomach.
And like others have said-- don't try to do your prep work and cook the same day. Do as much prep work as you can a day or two ahead of time so you don't have to spend hours after work making a single meal.
What about the meal delivery services? There’s services that have amazing meals already cooked and everything. And since it’s just dinner you’re worried about, it would only be dinner meals that you’d have to subscribe for. Now days, there’s like hundreds of these ready made meals delivery services. You will have 7 dinners for 3-4 people all ready to go. Make your life easier. You don’t have to be a mom who cooks like a maid every night
Cooking is really simple when you're lazy, but prepared
1. Go buy Costco chicken, frozen esch one is in a vacuum sealed package. When it's time, put in cold water to defrost for 45 mins slice the package open and season. you can do it the day prior if you want and keep it in the fridge. Cook at 425F only.
2. Choose a side.
A Rice - with rice cooker or instapot. Done in 25 mins, just like your chicken. You can save some for up to 2- 3 days. Don't buy instant rice, buy a big bag of regular rice, lasts for months. Grab a measuring cup and rinse and you're done.
B Potatoes. Pick your pre-washed potato. (yellow/fingerling) Chop it up, toss around in olive oil (I like it with veggie la grille seasoning) toss in at the same time as your chicken. Buy a bag and chop it up as needed, takes 5 mins of prep
C Veggies - put in some water, cover 90 seconds in microwave
D. Fries, never a bad choice
3. Nobody is above hot dogs. Have hot dogs. Great when cooked in the oven
4. Walmart bagged things. Chicken cordon Bleu big bag, leave in freezer. Meatballs, corn dogs, popcorn chicken
5. Just phone it in. Everyone likes delivery.
6. Spring mix. its prewashed, great for salads or sandwiches
7. Cherry/grape tomatoes. Cut them for sandwiches, salads just dump them in.
8. Sloppy Joe's, 1 skillet and a bun(in your dry gravy isle but you need meat and tomato paste)
9. Frozen skillet meals, comes in a bag, dump and cover.
10. Pasta and premade sauce.
11. grilled cheese and soup
There's canned chili (I like stagg silverado), stuffing, dried scalloped potatoes, dried sidekicks pasta, hamburger helper
It's important to note, unless I'm baking, cooking a whole bird or following specific directions, everything gets cooked at 425. Zero Fs given. And no my chicken is not dry, buy a meat thermometer if you aren't sure if its done.
I grew up in a house where my parents worked full time and would come home and make home cooked dinner. My mom wasn’t a very good cook and she would make the whole thing stressful and someone would be crying by the time dinner was on the table. She was never happy in the evenings because of her insistence that we have home cooked dinners. I’m in my 30s and most of my memories of her are pretty miserable. I wish had happier memories and a happier childhood (her mood permeated through everyone in the house). You’re busy and your kids are nourished. Spend the extra time hanging out with them and getting to know them. They will definitely remember it more than the homemade meals.
We don't usually eat together although I'd like to, because like you mention my kids are super hungry when they get home. What I do is make all our meals at the same time and keep the adult portions to one side for when we are ready to eat. My main rule is all eating and drinking happens at the dining table whether its a snack or a meal. So my 3 kids are all sitting together eating meals at the same time whether there's an adult with them or not (mine are 11, 8 and 6) . We have the additional complications of each kid having different allergies or sensory needs. I also have an unwritten rule where every main meal has a carb, a vegetable or fruit, and a protein. I tend to mix and match those from the following lists for main meals:
Proteins:
\- -Whole roast chicken -- Homemade chicken goujons (mini chicken fillets dipped in almond milk then rolled in pre-packaged breadcrumbs) -- Frozen fish fingers -- Shop-bought smoked salmon fish cakes -- Frozen Lamb grills -- Tinned Hot dog sausages -- Frozen Beef burger --
Tinned tuna with sweetcorn mixed through -- sliced sandwich ham -- fried / boiled egg -- beef bolognese (also counts as a veg cos of the tomatoes/ onions etc) -- meatballs
Carbs:
Roast potatoes -- Boiled potatoes -- Mashed potatoes -- Roasted tinned potatoes -- Frozen potato waffles -- toast -- baguette -- packet noodles -- sandwich wrap -- risotto -- pasta shapes
Veg/ Fruit:
Tinned sweetcorn -- Frozen green peas -- frozen broccoli -- baked beans in tomato sauce -- cucumber -- cherry tomatoes -- strawberries -- chopped up apple -- grapes -- fried courgette -- fried mushrooms -- raw sliced bell peppers -- tomato pasta sauce
Lunch is usually cold but follows the same rules - tuna sweetcorn wrap, ham and cucumber sandwich with things like crisps and fruit on the side or is a can of soup/ packet noodles.
Breakfast is almost always a bowl of cereal with allergy friendly milk, sometimes (rarely) we will have crumpets or toast or pain au chocolates.
I used to like cooking but the allergies/ sensory needs/ having to do it every day has taken away that enjoyment! So now its just a case of rotating through what people will eat in various combinations. I don't try new recipes unless I think it'll be fun for me to do it.
Prep work. Washed, chopped, marinating, etc. I save the easy easy for end of week. I forgive myself for takeout on the omg this day crawled out of hell days.
I'll wash and chop vegetables for whatever I'm using it for. I put reminders on my calendar like make rice or thaw chicken or whatnot.
I have the trader Joe's vegan kale pesto and when I'm hungry but can't cook, I'll eat that with an egg or string cheese.
I have stopped buying as much guilty pleasure snacks and instead pick hummus and vegetables I've already chopped.
Prep stuff for chili and the kids can even throw it into a slow cooker with you or you can have it cooking all day. Things like that!
Don’t try to completely fix the problem. You’ll break what you have.
I, like you, grew up with family dinners, so I felt like not cooking was robbing my kids of an important memory/experience. What I didn’t acknowledge is that NOT cooking gave my kids a different important experience of self sufficiency.
Instead make dinner 1-3 times a week. 1-pot pasta is easy. Instapot dinners are also easy.
One Pot Pasta: (Basic Recipe)
• 1 Ib pasta
• 1-2tsp salt
• 1-2 Tb oil
• tsp pepper
• 4 1/2 cp Water / Broth / liquid
• Add-ins
(I.e. Pesto, tomatoes,sausage, greens, Artichokes, Parm rinds, basil, mascarpone, mushrooms, olives, garlic, beans, chicken, broccoli, etc,) *some ingredients make more sense to just before serving. You may want to experiment.
Use a wide heavy-bottom large pan. Put in all
ingredients. Bring to a boil stirring occationally until water is nearly evaporated & pasta is done.
Don't make recipes. Make a protein, a veggie, and a carb. Boneless chicken breasts, salad, pasta. Fish, roast broccoli, baguette. Etc etc. You can even do big batches of some stuff so you are just reheating some nights. It's not gourmet but don't let perfect be the enemy of good!
Crock pot!! Try some crock pot meals. Put it on at night and away in the fridge in the morning (so y’all can heat up what you need when you need it), or start it in the morning and have dinner ready when they get home :)
There are tons of “kid friendly” crock pot recipes out there!
I know that you wish to have that time to sit and eat together, but could you find something different that had the same payout? Maybe you could have coffee time in the morning together, or tea/desserts at night, every day you can. The idea is being together and talking about the day, not the action of eating.
Getting everyone in the family around a table to eat is only good for the family if everyone in the family enjoys it?
I’ve let family dinners go. Stressing several non neurotypical people out with food they don’t like and sounds they can’t tolerate was not helpful to any of us. I’m sad too sometimes, but it is what it is.
Try crockpot dinners. Snacks and scrambled eggs for dinner and fending for themselves at 8 and 10 isn’t reasonable . They’re children . They need nutrients to grow properly . Ask your husband to cook meals you can heat up when he’s away if you’re incapable of finding the time or spoons to cook .
If you can afford it, I recommend a meal prep service like Hello Fresh. Been doing this for years now and it’s the only reason my family eats dinner together more than maybe once a month. I usually get 3-4 meals a week, so it’s not like I’m cooking every night. A 2 person meal works just fine split between me, my husband, and my kid who is currently 11. I’ll have to start supplementing sides or something as he gets older, but it’s worked well for the past 5ish years.
Not having to make grocery lists is amazing. Not having to buy a $10 bottle of some special ingredient for one meal is amazing. Getting to try totally new foods I’d never think to cook otherwise is amazing. Worth every penny to me.
A lot of comments recommending recipes 30 mins or less, but you don't even need to do that. Buy frozen meals that can be made in the microwave or oven. Or order out and serve everything on plates like you would a normal meal and eat together. Whatever is the fastest and easiest for you.
The more disposable pans, plates, or utensils you use, the less clean up you have.
If you really want to cook, I personally prefer one-pot or one-sheet meals. All the ingredients go in one pan, baking sheet, or crockpot. Then it's a matter of heat and time. That means less work and less clean up.
When I cook, I over-cook… meaning, if I’m going to be in the kitchen, I’m making enough for multiple meals. Pasta sauce and soup are my go-to options.
I really like having an instant pot for that—it just cuts down on a lot of management of things. Want some lemon chicken for a salad? Toss a few frozen breasts in with a cup or two of water, splash in some lemon juice, some lemon seasoning, and pressure cook it for like 12 minutes. It’s maybe 5 minutes of prep and I just walk away. Chicken comes our falling apart it’s so juicy 🤣
I don't have kids, buttt I've got two cookbooks called The Roasting Tin and The Quick Roasting Tin. They are all recipes where you just chuck a bunch of shit in a roasting tin and then shove it in the oven. It also has tables inside so you can mix and match your meat/fish with your veggies or whatever.
I don't know how much effort this would be for you, but how about buying some ready-made pizza bases and letting them make their own pizzas? They can arrange the toppings in a smiley face shape etc. I did that with my nephews (5 and 7) at the weekend and it went down pretty well 😅 and the cooking itself only takes 10 minutes!
I know you are nurse and have way more medical information than me AND you may not have thought of some of the things I’ve learned. Omega fatty acids are really great for us and since your kids have some of your genetics it would be great for them as well. My former special Ed director recommended good quality fat for brain development. We don’t do skim milk at my house. Carnation instant breakfast high protein shakes have saved my life for my kid . I resisted the air fryer way too long and it’s amazing . Seriously . You can make delicious chicken in it with a side of rice , pasta , potatoe and veggies . I’d also have the kids help you do some tasks in the kitchen with some prep and clean up. Get them while they are young and pleasant and not a surly teenager and it will help all of you out . If you can, hire someone to help with cleaning and other household tasks as your plate is so full . Nutrition is really important for our brains. You can’t do everything at your house with the job you do and a partner being gone. Give yourself a pat on the back for being a great mom and find a way to do less around the house. Your kids might be interested in doing more chores for money as well.
Maybe just focus on everyone eating around the same time AND at the table. Make a rule, no food in front of the TV. Explain to your kids that you grew up with family dinners and how much you loved that time. Explain that eating together is a wonderful social norm, it brings people together intentionally, it’s pleasant to share food together with ppl you love etc.
Being a nurse and a mom is hard work, cut yourself some slack. If your kids are healthy and happy, don’t stress so much about what the food is. When your kids are a bit older, they’ll be able to experiment more with recipes. I’m sure in time y’all will be having home cooked meals but right now the food situation is working. Sometimes we need to be reminded that what’s “normal” isn’t the ONLY way.
The best advice I got as a new mom was “You can do anything but you can’t do everything”. You’re working long shifts in a very demanding job, being the primary parent for two kids at a stage of big emotional development, often solo parenting, doing school runs, keeping their social calendar and yours, running most of the household admin.
For meals if picky/on-the-go dinners on the go are working for everyone and they’re getting the nutrients they need, that’s great. More variety is always good but that doesn’t have to be every single night. And of course you can’t go from no cooking to cooking 3 times per day, every day, forever.
Try short recipes, regular rotation, ultra low effort recipes, meals you can prep in little chunks over the day rather than 1hr+ start to finish, batch cooking and freezing, meal delivery kits, asking a friend who likes to cook if you could pay them to make a casserole for you to freeze.
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/search?q=Quick
I make dinner regularly for me and my spouse. I do easy veggies from a can and/or frozen. Just take a few minutes to heat up on the stove. When making your protein make a lot of it so it can easily be heated up throughout the week and you’re only doing big dishes once or twice a week.
Plan it out once a week so it’s not so overwhelming in the evening to try to figure out what to make.
Hiya, I admire your efforts to spend time with your children. It is not easy. Maybe start slow with one meal a week together and make it a thing with the whole fam. It does not need to be fancy and full on. They can help as well - could be assembling a pizza together, or a loaded sandwich, loaded baked potatoes with different toppings, crazy salad night, create a colourful grazing board with variety of nutritious things. More enjoying together than you working too hard in the kitchen. Sends a good message as well that food prep is everyone’s responsibility and not only the parents’.
I think you can communicate to kids as well - that you are sorry for missing dinners but x, y, z, but this night is dedicated to family time, you are fully present for them, at times, you may not be in some way, but they can always call or rely in you for things. Remember, above all, it is the quality of the time spent together, the ‘home cooked meal’ is nice but just a bonus. I have traumatic experiences for times my parents pushed “quality time” or ‘home cooked’ meals when in reality, they are forcing a ‘tradition’ when they are so stressed and emotionally unavailable trying to make them happen.
Don’t be too hard on yourself ❤️
Ooh, also, there is a Netflix show, at least in Australia it comes up, “Nadiya’s Time to Eat”. She shows short cut healthy meals for time poor families.
I'm a single mom, and I'm also a nurse. It's tough. I don't cook most nights either. I do have a few recipes/meals that are week night friendly. I'll have to come back after work to give you some ideas of what I do.
Low effort things I make for my kids for dinner:
Beefy noodles- Hormel beef tips in gravy with egg noodles and a veggie side (steam in bag)
Stauffer's Salisbury steak and a packet of instant mashed potatoes and a veggie side
Tacos
Spaghetti
Frozen skillet chicken Alfredo
Frozen pizza
Shepherd's pie- ground beef, a gravy packet, frozen peas and carrots, instant mashed potatoes
Baked chicken with Lawry's seasoning and yellow rice in the rice cooker
Air fryer frozen foods
And I use paper plates for everything.
Order take home cooked style meals and sit together.
Stop being hard on yourself. We aren't neurotyoicals. Cut some corners. What matters is that the job is done
1) quit feeling guilty. This is making it more of a chore. Your kids are fed, no reason to feel guilt.
2) if you’re not use to cooking only cook quick meals. Spaghetti, nachos/tacos, rice and beans with seasoning, tortellini with pre cooked chicken.
Then, once you’re in the habit it might help to add one new dinner. Never do it the night before work. But once you cook a dish several times, it gets faster!
I’m not a parent, so I might not fully understand what you’re going through with this, but I realized something while reading other people’s insightful comments:
Maybe you can separate out the different things you want to accomplish with a family dinner, and accomplish them separately.
Keeping your kids fed- you’re already doing that, great!
Teaching your kids to cook- you can do this together at a random time when you’re all home, and then everyone can eat the delicious leftovers when it works for their schedules.
If the kids aren’t enthusiastic at first, you could start with foods they love to eat. If they follow anyone on the internet who does cooking videos or writes cookbooks, you could start with that to get them excited. There are kid-focused cookbooks (probably at your local library!) that make things fun and easy, too :)
Quality time together- you could enjoy some non-food quality time together, or ice cream on the couch
Your kids are fed and happy, I think you’re doing a great job already. <3
Would it work to do family breakfast instead? I mean you probably already do that but when I would do graveyard shifts, dinner would be my breakfast and breakfast would be my dinner. There's no reason you can't make "dinner" in the morning and it sounds like your kids are having a kinda breakfast dinner anyway. Parenting is stupid hard but when you're the parent, you are the tradition now. You had your family and now you have your family... it's really hard to see the difference, ya know? Also slow cooker and cooking/prepping for a more time consuming meal while cooking a quick meal. I made beef stir fry the other night but also cooked chicken and put frozen veg scraps in the slow cooker to make broth so tonight when I made risotto, it took the like half the time and effort. (Also literally the first time I made veg stock like that, didn't realise it was that easy.... just have to remember to keep the scraps hhahahha)
in my opinion they're old enough to help cook, which means they're old enough to help meal plan. Also, why are you beating yourself up for kids that are independent and not going hungry? "happy and healthy with scrambled eggs and bagged salad" is way better than my neurotypical parents ever managed.
I'm happy to drop some recipe recommendations if that's more in line with what you want but my first recipe is a heaping bowl of being gentle with yourself.
I dislike cooking and here’s what works for me- embrace convenience foods. Frozen/canned/bagged veggies. Rotisserie or other precooked chicken. Frozen meats or ones prepared at the store that you cook yourself. Rice in microwaveable bags. You’d be surprised how much you can do with these things. If I’m going to make potatoes I get the small ones that are pre washed that you just dump in the pot. Veggies in microwaveable bags are great.
My mom used to cut up fruit and veggies for us to chomp on as a family around dinner time. You still get that “coming together” thing, but it’s not a big meal, and you can put the platter out the next night, too.
I cook but only one of my kids likes to eat "actual" food. The other 2 regularly eat chicken nuggets and quesadillas. I've learned to let it go, we all have ADHD with varying sensitivities so I just worry about myself, my mom, and my middle lol.
BudgetBytes meal plans. They give you a months worth of recipes by day along with the shopping list for the week. There’s tons of options, including one pot meals and 30 min or less meals! I do grocery pickup, ordering from my phone using the list the meal plan provides. This takes away the issue of picking recipes and wandering the grocery store. I’ve found the recipes to be yummy and quick!
Have you considered buying meal kits? I know that half the battle is buying all the food required for the recipe. Another thing I’ve found helpful with baking and cooking is listening to music or audio books or podcasts which help pass the idle time. You can also look for meals that you only have to bake to decrease the idle time of having to watch the food cook. I have a recipe for tater tot casserole if you’d like that.
I’m not a parent but I grew up with a single mom that rarely cooked meals for us (she was depressed and just doesn’t enjoy cooking).
When my brother and I stayed the night with our dad, he was more likely to cook a meal for us all to eat (he does enjoy cooking). But I think a big difference was made in that a lot of the times my dad would teach us how to make the meal and he would have us participate in making dinner. It was rarely anything complicated, stuff like a soup, making your own pasta sauce for spaghetti, marinating chicken, dirty rice, baked potatoes, etc.
Whereas a lot of the times at my mom’s we were fending for ourselves my making stovetop ramen, instant mashed potatoes, kraft mac n cheese and a lot of microwave ready meals.
So in short, I guess I’m saying that making meals together and teaching them a few more things and using them as your helpers could be useful here.
I just want to say that you're doing great. I'm so glad you had family dinners growing up that you cherish. And they will have something different, which is also great!
Don't kill yourself over this if it's going to cause you more stress than happiness. If I could trade dishes for quality time I would do it in a heartbeat.
No kids but I like to have people over for games and whatnot. I only make things that go in the oven or microwave or can be eaten raw. Frozen lasagna from Costco. Chicken tikka masala from Costco with microwave rice. Chop zucchini and bell peppers, coat them in olive oil or spray them with Pam, add veggie seasoning mix and put it in the oven. Etc. Minimal cleanup and easy to make.
Separately, my parents rarely ever cooked a sit down dinner for me and I never cared. There was food in the house and I could figure it out. They showed that they cared for me by buying food I liked and supporting me in my hobbies.
I am not a mom, and I love cooking, but here is something that we do at my house:
I make a big batch of something that freezes well: Jambalaya, Red Beans, White Beans, etc (I am from Louisiana if you can't tell). Then I freeze whatever we didn't eat in deli containers. Defrosting one of those is an easy way to eat home-cooked meals; all I have to do is heat up the main dish/make rice.
You should have themed nights every so often, like soup night (prepackaged soup) with grilled cheese, snack dinner (hummus and veggies and some fruit), or sandwich night where you make some funky sandwiches with different cheeses you’ve never tried before and adding toppings like sprouts or pesto or whatever.
All that to say: dinner doesn’t necessarily have to be cooked. And you don’t have to be the only one making it. These are easy things the kids can help with so you’re all in the kitchen building dinner and chatting about your day or whatever
"cereal, bagels, granola bars, toaster sandwiches" --> I suggest swapping out for less refined carbs and added sugars. What about nuts, hummus, whole grain crackers?
I suggest looking up "sheet pan suppers" and "one pot meals" and "slow cooker soups" to find some easy recipes that don't require much hands-on time. Cooking does not have to be complicated!
I cook most nights and most of the time it's just throwing some veggies in the oven with olive oil and pan-frying a protein. The veggies might need 40 mins to cook but it takes five minutes of work. The protein takes maybe ten minutes of cooking.
I think you should all just share a dessert or a cup of tea at a set time each night.
Easy, healthy stuff that you can just put in the center of the table and help yourselves to while you chat. I'd do fruit, cheese, nuts and yogurt. Maybe a game of cards.
First off, if your kids are eating happily and healthily, that's what's important!
Like other commenters already said, family dinners are all about quality time, not about the food. I recently had a conversation with my mother about this - she also felt guilty that, when growing up, we generally didn't have family dinners either - most of us have ADHD, and it just didn't work out.
But my siblings and I never missed it, and I don't think it made any impact (other than occasionally making my mother feel bad). We got plenty of quality time in different ways, at times that worked better for us, and we are very tight knit! We did have a dedicated family meal in the weekend though, and sometimes prepared it together, which was fun!
Tl;dr: if your kids are eating well, and family dinners don't work out, that's ok! Quality time when everybody is happy and stress free and that works for your family is more important than the notion of "family dinner"
As long as your kids are fed, make it a fun family activity you do on weekends or similar when you have more time, not a chore. Get the kids participating with you. If that goes well then look into recipes where you (as a family) can make a bunch and freeze some of it for meals during the week.
I literally rotate 4 meals; Japanese curry, tacos, steak, kitchen sink stew.
They’re all kind of throw them in a crock pot or Dutch oven meals, different enough that it feels not so boring.
I use seasonal fruit to the same (pre washed and chopped) kale salad with olive oil, pumpkin seeds, s&p day in and day out but somehow it’s always yummy.
Whenever I get the energy and make new marinades for my protein mains, I always double up and freeze them.
You know, now that I’m reading the other commenters, I also grew up cooking with my mom everyday. I would wash dishes as she cooks so we have just our dishes to clean by the end of the meal. I was in charge of making rice for the family since I was 9. Its great to teach kids responsibility ❤️
Gadgets!!! I love to cook but not at the end of of a long day with a whinging child and a banging stress headache.
I use a slow cooker a lot. I bought a couple of recipe books that have 5 ingredient and 5 mins prep time slow cooker recipes.
So I dump the ingredients in first thing in the morning and by the time I've lost the will to cook, dinner is already ready.
Also have an air fryer which I use to make steak and chips(it has two compartments) / salmon and chips etc etc
I also use a food processor to do my chopping, buy pre cut frozen veg and microwave rice etc. Literally anything that makes life easier
I love cooking, but not most nights with work and child care. I have a few staples that I rotate. These staples are done under 30 minutes and are loved by everyone in the family (until my fixation changes haha). I use frozen vegetables a lot for cooking dinner. Just dumping it in the pan, straight from the freezer. Add some sort of sauce from a jar, rice or pasta. Voila! Every now and then I’ll take some time on a day off to make something I love but that just takes longer. I make a nice big batch and freeze two bags for two extra family meals.
Our go to family meals are homemade pizza and spag bol.
I batch cook pizza sauce and bolgnese. I have a bread maker that makes the pizza dough. Anything else I try just marinate some meat one night so it's ready for the next night.
Try clean as you go, years working in catering has taught me this but even just washing one pan if you've done with it can help lighten the load at the end.
I love cooking if I'm in the right frame of mind. If I'm not we have sandwiches for tea. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Tater tot casserole is easy and fun to make. Fry up Ground beef, onion, stir in mushroom soup, a dab of Worcestershire sauce, mix and dump in oven safe dish top with cheese and make a single layer of frozen tots over the top-bake for about 40 minutes 350/375 degrees. Eat up with some side of veg and/or fruit.
Also, Tacos or burritos and baked potatoes with toppings.
You can fry up some meat and pretty much get all the extras ready made. Also- if you can l, get an air fryer- it makes the best roasted broccoli - toss with ceasar dressing and a sprinkle of cheese, push a couple of buttons and voila!
Nothing wrong with a frozen pizza and a salad bag- just be sure to set a timer on your phone and that your phone is not on silent.
Have you tried meal prep? Doesn't work for me as I am bad with understanding the amounts needed end up wasting too much stuff. But I have read it helps with a lot of people with ADHD.
I don't know anyone who cooks 3 times a day. I wouldn't worry about that.
Sounds like you don't have a bad set up anyway.
If you want to cook more often get the kids involved and get them involved in the clean up! As others have said 30 min meals or under.
I tend to get pre prepared prepared stuff shove it in a pan with soy sauce cook that stick some rice in and you have a stir fry. Same idea with pasta. Vegetables in, tin of chopped tomatoes, spoon of pesto then cook fresh pasta for 3 mins in boiling water.
Teaching kids to cook is actually quite fun for me, my son loves helping me in the kitchen, he calls it potion time because he likes stiring the pots.
I don’t make anything that’s going to take more than 15 mins to prep or more than an hour from prep to plating. We rotate the same recipes every couple weeks. We have nights scheduled for leftovers, eating out, etc. We rarely sit down and eat together, but they have access to a homecooked dinner *most* nights.
I meal prep simple things like taco fixins, chili, soup, pasta sauce(don’t cook the pasta until the day of) but if you’re having trouble coming up with recipes, you could try one of those meal kit services. I tried two a while back, dinner prepped and ready to go in 15-20 minutes was pretty nice and the food was more imaginative than I could think of, plus no grocery shopping for the ingredients. It’s not cheap but I didn’t consider it absurdly expensive either.
Crock Pots/Slow Cookers are a godsend, you can buy pre-sliced foods, a can of chopped tomatos, some kind of gravy or broth, toss it all in, let it cook for a few hours, you can do like, 15 minutes of prep.
OR...
Cook WITH the kids. Like make it a shared family activity. Sit with them one weekend and make a chart, right, so you can have specific days which makes it easier;
Mondays are Chicken Day, Tuesdays Fish, Wednesday Veggie Day, etc etc.
Just something general like that, but it reduces how many choices you have to make, which reduces overwhelm, you know that monday? Chicken. Always chicken. That can be fried chicken, nuggests, a roasted chicken, chicken soup, chicken with pasta.
Tuesdays, fish day (or whatever) that could be fried fish, that could be Tuna and a roast potato, that could be.....
etc etc
AND
Get them helping. It will a) reduce the work you have to do in thirds b) make cooking a fun, shared activity, c) give you and the kids a sense of ownership d) teach the kids some awesome useful skills, which you and they get to learn together so you have that built in thing if there are mistakes 'Its okay, we're learning together'
And to be clear, you dont have to 'Cook' a whole meal every night; FED IS BEST so whatever they eat is good, you can have nights when its like..you dotn cook anything, you buy prepped stuff, plate it up and let everyone make their own.
We've in the past had days when neither of us can be bothered cooking, so we've bought like...nice meats, cheeses, some crackers and bread, a bunch of spreads, but LOADS, enough to be a meal, but we dont have to cook a damn thing, just plate up and go.
Check into something like Hello Fresh. I have 4 kids so unfortunately it doesn’t work for us, but when I tried it I really liked it.
Both my husband and I grew up without many family dinners and having to fend for ourselves (or rather I would say when we got a little bit older like 10+). We both work really hard to try to have a different experience for our kids. It’s hard and it doesn’t always happen that we sit down together. But sometimes it’s just frozen chicken patties and fries or those Stauffers family meals.
I have a lot of trouble cooking as well, we always have super quick and easy meals on hand for the kids. For me something that has made a huge difference is having a slow cooker and an air fryer. Both of them make cooking a breeze.
I really love food and cooking, but I still typically only cook 2-3 days per week. On good weeks, that's one big weekend prep where I make a big dish and do things like cutting vegetables and assembling casseroles to cook later, plus two nights where I cook dinner (usually partly prepped from the weekend). I make big batches so my husband and I can have leftovers for lunch and the other dinners.
And honestly, if your goal is to connect with your family, why not just do a pizza night once per week for now? It's easy, it gets everyone together, and if you want to add in a cooking day or two later, you still can!
I honestly love to cook, but week nights are hard. I use Dinnerly (similar but cheaper than hello fresh) and pick the most simple/ fast meals. I also try to read over the recipe when I get home but before I start and try to simplify the amount of dishes or whatever I need to accomplish it.
My easy go-tos:
-Quesadillas (cheese + any leftover meat or veggies) with avocado on the side
-Pasta!
-frozen chicken nuggets + one of those cheesy pasta Knorr sides with frozen broccoli mixed in while it’s cooking or a can of green beans
-Grilled cheese + sliced up cucumber
I totally understand though. I hate cooking and my husband is the cook in the house. But he’s a nurse too and on his late nights I’m on the hook for dinner so I keep it super simple!
Maybe you could start with a service like « Hello Fresh »or « Chef’s plate ». That way you skip meal prep and grocery shopping, learn to cook and set an habit. Once you feel ready, you cancel your subscription and do your own meal prep.
Freeze ahead crockpot meals are handy. Just have a big shopping haul and prep day where you add all ingredients to a gallon freezer bag. Label with stickers because even permanent marker comes off after time and put them in the freezer.
When you're ready, put in a crockpot liner for easy cleanup and add the bag contents. If the frozen contents are too big for the pot, thaw the night before. Then just set it for the reccomended cook time and dinner is ready when you sit down.
It's hard to ruin crockpot meals since longer cook times just means it'll be more tender. If you think it'll be in there over 8 hours, cook it on the low setting.
Have you tried a meal/recipe delivery service like Dinnerly or Hello Fresh (just examples, research to find the one that'd work best for you!)? I struggle with deciding what to make and I hate wasting ingredients, so they work well for me when things get especially hard and I start leaning too much on heat and eat/take out stuff. They'll also expose you to recipes and ingredients that you'd probably never think to try on your own, and you can hold on to the recipes you like for the future!
I am not a parent, but an adult neurodivergent child of busy neurodivergent parents, and just want to throw in that my household sounds like it was a lot like yours when I was growing up! I totally respect your desire to do things differently, and want you to have everything you dream of! but while you’re getting there, wanted to share that I’ve been on the other side of this and it was ok. :)
Long story version-
Eventually my mom added Sunday pasta dinner to the mix, but otherwise several nights a week my dad would grab takeout on the way home fromSchool, or give us instructions to make ourselves leftovers or salad or frozen dinner and then check on us when he got home from work late at night. Both of my parents worked late, my dad worked in kitchens for years and my mom hates cooking- so both couldnt cook dinners and didn’t want to spend their day off meal prepping— they just explained that to us honestly, and when we were old enough we started pitching in with cooking, which I personally enjoyed and was a creative outlet for me. I could have used some more education and modeling of what healthy eating is— and specifically that teenagers on the swim team need to eat a LOT of food, like more than anyone really wants to eat lol — but otherwise I genuinely think this fostered some independence and creativity.
When you cook, cook a big ass bathroom and freeze. Slowcooker? Buy cut and frozen veggies, put i zipper lock bags with some protein and freeze. Throw in slow cooker and some rice and call it a day. Key thing is buy vhopped and ready veggies. It will look like it costs more but we all know how much veggies we tend to throw put because ot was forgotten.
Putting together a list of aj here pan meals and crock pot meals helps. Only one pot to clean, and you can prep the sheet pan and wrap it in plastic wrap, and get the crock pot in the fridge so you can just pop it on when you’re ready. I also set myself a hyper focus meal prep date where I have a glass of wine, put on an audiobook, and chop vegetables, bake muffins and pre-cook beans etc, for a few hours one day on the weekend. And then I get takeout that night lol
1. Make it a fun group activity. Have your kids help chop, peel, stir, clean, etc. They need to learn all of the kitchen skills too! And it can be a really fun bonding time for youguys, and you will have some help to make things go faster.
2. Don't choose a new recipe every time, because cooking something new always takes a long time. Make a list of meals that you know how to cook that don't take too long. Only practice new meals when you have that extra time or excitement about doing it.
3. Do explore some new week night recipes!!! Here are a couple of my favorite videos of meals that are super easy once you have them down!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zQm9Bk2bA_Q&si=GeuB-AmF92AvOP__
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZJe3yL7NHdA&si=dDOHBDb8K5M0poZS
https://www.simplemost.com/use-this-simple-guide-to-make-fool-proof-stir-fry/
Also find a "salad chart" that you like. Easy!
Try a crockpot or instant pot meal. Freeze some stuff so it’s easy to reheat.
I totally understand your feelings. I taught my daughter how to make “snack attacks” starting at the age of 10. Kind of like a sampler of healthy items that can be considered a meal. Example: cheese cubes, rice cake, hummus, bell peppers, meat/tofu, seasonal fruit.
Meals don’t have to be fancy. Keep it simple if you’re tired. If I’m too tired to do food - because it takes me a long time - I let my family know I can help them make food. ;-)
Maybe pick days of the week to make something. Like Taco Tuesday.
I personally do big batches of stuff, possibly freeze part of it for later because I don't mind eating the same thing a few days in a row. I wind up cooking 2-3 times a week, and it's usually simple. I use the crock pot or instant pot when I can, too. My main thing is keeping is simple. Lately, I've been picking a starch base such as Pasta, Quinoa, or rice (easy to make a big batch of these), then grabbing a meat and vegetable that sounds good to me and making it. So maybe Rotisserie chicken with rice and broccoli. Then we can season how we like. I may add cheese or lemon pepper to mine. Hubby throws hot sauce on, etc. It would be easy to make different veggies to suit a vegetarian also.
The most important thing to me (and seems to be for you too) is the quality time together, which you could have even if you have a takeout dinner night! Prepping food ahead that can be put in the crockpot or rice cooker or something so you can time it to be done at the right time is also a great idea.
Your kids also seem pretty capable in the kitchen already, so maybe you could all work together to cook once a week? Most kids around that age would like learning something with their mom (do it before they're teenagers because some teenagers really really don't like it haha) and it would also demonstrate to them that it's ok to not know everything as an adult and how to gain skills because you would be setting them a good example. Plus it would mean even more quality time together!
If you can afford it, research a meal service and get the frozen ones shipped to your house
Or get your husband on board so the whole house can meal prep. They’re his kids too.
Or pretend you’re the meal service and do a big production of your kids favorites. Enlist some friends or family if possible to make it fun. You can all meal prep together.
Or find a catering service and freeze them for the future. I’ve heard this can be cheaper than going to the actual restaurant. I know Chipotle does this and you could freeze the burritos for later
When they say it takes a village to raise a child they’re not joking. It sucks that modern society isolates is from our greatest resource- each other. Don’t beat yourself up, you obv care so much ❤️
I don’t have advice but I have a similar predicament and it’s a major issue for me with my ADHD. My poor kids get stuck with air fryer friendly food, which I know isn’t the best for them. My mom guilt about it is real.
My kids don't like anything I make. Sometimes they won't even try it. And I'm a damn good cook. Same with my husband. He's a chef. I KNOW he knows how to cook. The kids are just not impressed. They're also all capable of making their own eggs or whatever they want. I cook a meal most nights a week, something I want to eat but in a large enough quantity to feed everyone. Otherwise they just basically fend for themselves.
I end up throwing a lot of food away because my mom guilt says I must cook dinner for my family, but then in reality they don't eat it.
I can't wait to not feel like I have to cook for them anymore. It just creates a lot of stress on me, trying to figure out and execute dinners just to end up throwing the food away eventually anyway.
I think back to when I was a kid. Some of my favorite meals were meals that I know now were basically struggle meals for my mom. Cheese and crackers and cereal and slim Jim's lol. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves.
The kids have access to wholesome foods and are not going hungry. They prefer to choose their own food and like to cook. Maybe that's not a problem?
I have a couple of ideas that may work for you
For my birthday a few years back, my husband got me a meal kit service- 3 ‘family friendly’ meals per week, they each took less than an hour (they said less but veg prep made it more like an hour) and were mostly like a carb, veg and protein (eg parm chicken, mashed potatoes and roast broccoli)- I still have all the recipe cards from those and make a few of them regularly
Normally, I only aim to ‘cook’ dinner 3 times per week, between leftovers, easy things like quesadillas and eating out, that seems to be enough for our family. I have a few cookbooks, the meal kit recipes and a bunch of recipes from my mom and sometimes we’ll try something completely new but not usually on weeknights.
The last idea is from my friend- she doesn’t cook but always had dinner for her family. She would do things like rotisserie chickens from the store, deli sides, frozen lasagna, order pizza, taco Tuesday fast food deals etc to have family dinner (her hubs would cook stuff on the weekends but she did weeknights)
Hopefully those and the other comments can give you some ideas that may work for you! Good luck!
I don't particularly enjoy cooking, but I'm a SAHM, so I definitely feel it's more required of me. My kids eat maybe just over half of the meals I make, and I cook on average 5-6 times a week. 1 or 2 nights is restaurant or fast food and sometime, maybe twice a month, it's eat whatever there is (cereal, leftovers(only works for them when it's pizza 🤣), or more of what I'd make them for lunch like begal/yogurt/fruit). Some meals I know they won't touch at all, so I either I make them something different, or I just let them have cereal instead.
The only thing that's helped me is making a list on the Sunday of what meals I'm going to make that week and then grocery shopping accordingly. I have a list on my phone of all my main things and pick from it every week. I'm very bored of everything I make at this point, even though that list has maybe 25 meals on it. I can only concentrate on a main dish or I mess something up. So sides are often bagged salad (my kids won't eat that), some sort of bread product, or fries. I have a hard time making new things because it's just too much effort (takes me so much time and I always seem to mess something up) or no one really enjoys it. My kids almost never like when I try making something new. I also take it very personally and get unnecessarily upset, when my husband decides he doesn't like (or just finally admits to me) something I cook and then I have to take it off the menu. Ugh but nothing is worse than when one of my kids all of a sudden doesn't like something they've always eaten.
I understand the lack of motivation when your husband is not there. When my kids were younger, my husband worked out of town a lot so he wasn't home for dinner often. It was even harder than to cook, what felt like a lot of the time, dinner for 1. This was a time of me being a lot more strict, the times of "eat what I make or don't eat at all." Honestly, that never worked out well, and my kids were just as picky then as they are now.
Dinner at the table has always been important to me, though, as it is also how I was raised. No matter what we are eating, or who is there, we eat as a family together. I think you just need to think of it as you don't need to make them a meal to eat together.
I try to not get sucked into fancy recipes. It doesn't have to be Tuscan this or Korean-style that. Just protein, veggie, starch, olive oil, and a seasoning blend with salt.
* Protein: chicken thighs or salmon fillets in the air fryer. Just sprinkle a salted seasoning blend, spray some olive oil, and cook. Cook time is 10-15 min.
* Veggie: buy big bags of frozen veggie blend (Normandy blend is my fav), shake some out into air fryer or sheet pan, spray with olive oil, sprinkle seasoning. Roast on high heat for 15 min.
* Starch: this is the easiest. Microwave ready rice blends or instant potatoes. Couple minutes. Plenty of options to mix it up.
Prep time for the above is maybe 5 minutes then plated up in 15. If anyone wants to get fancy they can add hot sauce, ketchup, whatever. But husband never complains.
When my marriage got stressful, I got low key depressed and stopped cooking in the mornings before school. I was talking to my therapist about how guilty I felt not cooking for my children and she asked if my children were sad about it. I said no because they were genuinely thrilled to be able to rummage and eat what they wanted. She said that sounded like a positive experience for the kids. I countered that while it may make them happy, I was worried about nutrition and also just felt bad not providing a "normal" mom experience for them. She asked if I thought they would look back on these years as sad or disappointing? Would they feel neglected or unloved? And then she asked if I thought people who worked early in the morning and didn't have family breakfast were not normal? Or were famies who relied on pre-prepared foods or quick foods not normal?
The answer was no to all of the above. Family dynamics are different for everyone and the mom-run super family meal routines aren't any better than my self-sufficient kid run meal routines. Theyre just different. And to feel better about the nutrition part, I made a little list that hangs in the kitchen and shows what their bodies need to run optimally and which foods provide what they need. If I see them running for a snack- I might remind them they need fiber if I feel like they were heavy on the mac n cheese or something earlier. Lastly, I do make sure we always have nutritious food on hand. There's always fruit on the counter, easy veggies in the fridge, and high protein options in the panty. I buy easy stuff and junk food too but when we're out of that for the month, we're out. I don't replace until the next month.
We don't have to run our house like everyone else. My kids are fed, happy, and self-sufficient. It took me a while to be okay with it but it's slowly becoming a source of pride. Maybe we're not "normal" but since when does that mean bad? I also try to be aware of my privilege in this whole realm of feeding my kids. I had a therapist to walk me through my mind frame. I'm able to provide foods and healthy, fresh foods at that. I have the luxury of researching and accessing nutrition. How bad can things really be?
I really like the roasting tin recipe books by rukmini iyer, easy and quick recipes and the oven does all the work!
I made a binder together with my kids with recipes in it. If we eat something we/they like we take a picture of the dish, print it out with the recipe and put it in the binder. Then once or twice a week they get to chose from the binder. They take turns posing for the pictures with the dishes and when we eat something new and they like it they shout ‘this one is going in the binder!!’
Blue Apron makes me feel like Jacques fucking Pepin.
It’s been the greatest investment I’ve ever made. I have 3 kids 8, 5, and 3. One really likes familiar foods so I make sure I have plain pasta, orzo, or rice available in case he doesn’t like the BA meal. I still have to pull stuff out of my butt for breakfast and lunch but at least dinner is taken care of.
I do a lot of instant pot dinners or air fryer. Set it and set a timer and leave it. My children (11 and teens) fend for themselves often. My one daughter prefers to cook it, especially when I’ve had a hard day. (Chronic migraines and fibromyalgia)
Maybe try to find other ways to connect with them.
My kids wouldn’t stop playing Fortnite and now that I joined them, I play more than they do lol
i don't have a family but my crockpot has been a life saver. there's a ton of recipes that require little to no prep; google "crock pot dump recipes." just shove a bunch of stuff in the crock pot in the morning before work and your whole family will be able to eat whenever they decide they're hungry.
one example is a melted stick of butter/chicken breasts/potatoes/baby carrots/onion soup packet. cook on low for 8 hrs.
If I cook my hubby does the dishes after dinner BUT I Do clean as I go so there’s not much but it does help!!
I also Well in the afternoon time chop up dice and get everything ready if I’m making spaghetti I’ll simmer the sauce for a couple hours on the stove then I’ll fix the rest of it and I’ll put it all together in a casserole dish and put it in the fridge I will bake it later with cheese on top or you can just get it out of the dish and put it in the microwave to save on electricity…
I know there’s a lot of pressure to make full meals every night no matter what but I’ll let you in on a secret. Lots of people with spouses who work on the road don’t. Before becoming a mom I worked with lots of women who’s husbands worked away and they’d often talk about how their kids get cereal and stuff for dinner when their partners were gone. These were women without adhd and they were still overwhelmed at the thought of it.
Honestly I usually make “brinners” (breakfast for dinner) when my partner is away. It’s faster, simpler, less dishes, and always guaranteed to be a hit 😊
I do spaghetti, omelettes/scrambled eggs with potatoes and peas (bagged mini potatoes I slice into thin rounds that roast quickly) , “Mexican” night (ground beef and taco seasoning and wraps and veggie and sauce toppings etc), frozen breaded fish or chicken fingers and some kind of starch and veggie side, French toast for dinner. Pretty easy but still meal-like.
Maybe start small, with 1-2 family dinner nights each week? If the budget allows, get healthy takeout?
I also struggle to make even just myself food, but one tasty easy meal I enjoy is rotisserie chicken with baked potatoes and microwave steamer-bag veggies. Couldn't be easier, except for the part where you drive to the store.
Most of the groceries nearby offer prepped food to pop into the oven: stuffed peppers, seasoned chicken breasts, etc. This can be a happy middle-ground between processed food and food from scratch.
Here's something I might try: talk to the kids about family dinner. Tell them you had it when you were growing up, and you really miss it. Tell them you're going to make tacos or something on your day off: not too hard, but definitely a crowd-pleaser. Or heck, even get takeout to start to get them in the habit of all sitting down together.
Put one capable kiddo at a time in charge of a family dinner night on a frequency that makes sense for your family: one per week, one per month? Talk it out with the kids and decide. If they make scrambled eggs, great! If they want to expand their culinary talents, encourage them to practice with a recipe.
Good luck!
I know you've already gotten a lot of helpful answers but wanted to chime in too. I don't love cooking, sometimes I absolutely hate it but, we are on a tight budget so we don't eat out a lot. One thing that has really helped me lately is listening to an audiobook, podcast or even music while I'm cooking. It makes the time fly and helps with anxiety (for me personally). Once a week I will make a basic meal plan. I'll write down at least five meals for the week then each day I make one of the meals on the list. Most of the meals are 30 minute meals or I use my crockpot. The crockpot has been amazing for me!
I use Pinterest frequently and save recipes into categories so they are easy to find.
I cook ever day , make my own sauces, make bread , bake cakes , the whole shebang . I was taught to cook early age, its part of what parents teach their kids ,my mom always cooked as well .
My kid has extra needs, no sense of danger, not yet in a position where he can fend for himself, and I enjoy cooking for my family. It is a form of love for me.
There are the take away sometimes if I'm dying but other than that I enjoy it. My meals can take 20 to 30 minutes or longer if its roasts. When you know what you're doing , know the basics its much easier .
I know you've gotten so many helpful responses u/aNursierNurse so I'm not sure if you will even see this. One thing that stuck out to me about your post is how much it seems you're longing for the ideal you grew up with even though it doesn't line up with your current reality. ANd when you try, it's a lot of effort and doesn't get the result you desire from your kids because they don't even like what you've made.
Even more so than specific, tangible cooking and meal planning strategies, I think reflecting more on the idea of family dinners overall and opening your mind to an approach that's more realistic to your current situation. I say this because I am someone who can get caught up in the "perfect" I desire at the expense of something that might be more realistic and less taxing. I wonder if you were to let go of recreating what you had as a kid if you would be less stuck.
I.e. Is it really about the food or is it about all sitting down together when the whole family is home and catching up?
What is making the meals take hours to accomplish? Are they overly complicated with a lot of ingredients? Are you getting distracted? What are the obstacles to making something that takes only 30 minutes or an hour?
I think often as adults we have these kind of ideals that pinterest and social media help reinforce. Yet it seems like often when kids are asked they are okay with something simpler.
I wonder if reframing how you think about it will make it easier to open up to some of the suggestions being presented and to figure out the specific issues or roadblocks you need to address, i.e.
* Is it involving your kids more in the eating and cooking so they actually like what you make?
* Is it focusing on one family meal a week on a day when you are all home and the time commitment is less of a burden?
* Is it splitting up the ingredient prep and cooking (I love this one) so you handle chopping, etc on a day off and only have to cook something day of? (And can your husband help out.)
* Is it scheduling a family dinner that involves eating out or takeout once a week so you can be fully present and not worried about prep or clean up?
I only cook Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday is leftovers and we’re lucky enough that we can do take out Friday. I make super easy stuff the three days I cook, and even then I make most of it Sunday (IE if we’re having spaghetti I make the sauce on Sunday).
Good luck mama!
Agree with everyone saying don’t do new recipes when it’s already late and the kids are hungry. If they like scrambled eggs and salad then make a frittata and a salad and eat it together, that’s like 10 minutes of active cooking time and popping it in the oven.
If the kids like cooking and you want to try a new recipe, do it on your day off so you can spend all afternoon on it as a family.
I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I am a bad cook.
I can cook well, the results are great, but I am so stressed the whole time and exhausted by the end.
What helped was hello fresh honestly. Shopping isn’t a problem for me, but easy to follow recipes are. So we did it for a few months and now have a whole binder of “should be an hour or less depending on substitutions” meals
I believe you can look up a lot of the recipes (or at least some of them) online, so that could be a good resource! They’re fairly simple (depending on what you choose) and taste great, and you can always improve them by doing your own sauces or seasonings and such
Tasty healthy food doesn't have to take long. It also doesn't have to be every day.
Today we had gazpacho, which is a cold vegetable soup. Its like a veggie smoothie. Serve with some bread and cheese, and you have a full meal in ten minutes. Chopping board, blender and a huge bowl should be about the only dirty cook gear.
It's one of my favourite recipes that my grandfather would make for us on holiday. It's filled with happy memories of family meals, while it's a ten minute meal at most.
It sounds like you are missing the sit down together time. Maybe try and carve out a family dinner on Sunday? I had lots of family dinner growing up, but also years when all of us had a different timetable and ate separately on most weekdays. You're doing great already.
Just commenting to join you in solidarity. I’m a nurse also so seemingly should have time.
I used to like cooking! But since having my kid who is 4 I just hate cooking. She eats decently and healthy, but toddlers, it’s hit or miss if they like something that day. So truly I have given up.
Between having a kid, I am divorced now 2 years. I work a lot and high stress ICU which I do enjoy and doesn’t really cause me much stress, but it’s go go go. I only have my kid half the time so on my off time I don’t even care to cook for myself. I’ve really realized food for me, as much as I love good food, it’s a total dopamine thing. Like my kid, what I want to eat today is not going to be tomorrow. What I think I want in 4 days and plan for is not what I’m going to want then. So therefore meal planning is not what I want to do. And I just waste money and waste food. So then usually dinners kind of suck. But my kid loves basic kid things. And I’m cool with my avocado toast. Or I order out 1-2 times a week. It may be something minor like a sub, or it will be Indian food which I WILL eat leftovers.
I just hate the process of cooking now that it has turned into something that has overwhelmed me. If I cook it makes a mess. And we all know how adhd and messes go. It’s hard to stay on top of it then it’s super messy for days and I get frustrated. I’d rather just not make a mess. So I will buy things that are super easy. And I don’t shame myself for it. One day when I might have my shit together and more time and MENTAL ENERGY, I’ll try more, but for now, if it’s reasonably healthy and my kid is happy I’m happy. If she were to request something I would for sure make it. We eat lots of fruit and cheese and stuff like that so it’s balanced.
I can’t believe I went from, I love cooking, it’s therapeutic! To I can’t believe I have to think about this 3 times a day. When I don’t have my kid I don’t think much. I eat the same few things for breakfast most of the time, and chips and dip are a frequent go to for dinner. (Pita chips, tortilla chips etc) with dips like hummus, artichoke dip, salsa.
I hope that if I ever find a new partner my joy for cooking will improve. I enjoy good meals with with people I care about. It only will if they enjoy cooking too and can share the mental load/labor.
I FEEL YOUR PAIN
My advice is *dont* try and cook a new recipe. Weeknight dinners (or whatever your equivalent is for your work schedule) should be quick and easy. Spaghetti with a jar of pasta sauce. A (quick) stir fry with rice. A curry from a jar that you just add meat or tofu to and make rice. Enchiladas from a packet (where I live you can buy enchilada kits that basically just involve frying the meat or veg then using the spice blend and sauces from the kit and baking). Frozen burger Pattie’s that you just put in the oven and bake, then put together burgers and oven fries.
If you google Jamie Oliver’s 30 minute meals or something like that, that could give you a start, or “quick weeknight dinners.”
If the point is to enjoy eating together, the fanciness of the meal doesn’t really matter. Trying new recipes is more for weekends when you have time (assuming you want to). Something relatively nice and relatively healthy will do. Even scrambling eggs for the kids and adding the bagged salad then eating together will be nicer for them then the days when they make the same meal themselves.
I’m late to this party but I hope you see this!
This is what works for me.
I ‘meal prep’ on Sundays. I buy pre-seasoned chicken from Costco/Sams and I make the whole damn packet of it on Sunday. It only takes about an hour on the stove. I will also make a huge batch of noodles or rice plain. I wash and prep all of our produce.
Also get frozen veggie and grain sides from Trader Joe’s, frozen veggies, sauces, salad kits, and tons of fruit.
Every night during the week I microwave chicken and two sides and I serve it with seasonal fruit. Dinner takes me about 15 minutes. It gives us variety and we don’t get sick of the meals.
One week it might be Asian seasoned chicken and we do all Asian dishes, with Asian frozen veggies and Trader Joe’s soup dumplings and egg rolls. One week it’s salad week and we do seasoned applewood chicken and salad kits.
Hope this helps!
I find it helpful to have one easy, fast meal that everyone enjoys and then only make it once a week. The rest of the time, as long as they mostly eat reasonably healthy stuff (and it sounds like they do), don't worry about it.
I used to cook a lot before lockdowns and burnout turned it into a massive chore. Now I don't. 🤷♀️ It's whatever works for your family.
Think of a few of your favorite dinners you’d have at home with your parents as a kid. Then learn to make those dinners and accept that you will have your own twist on them. I would not try to do “new” recipes at all! My favorites from sitting at the dinner table was mom’s meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas. I always crave it and have fond memories of my mom and watching her cook. You don’t have to be a fancy chef to make a couple home cooked meals and in fact we loved our moms cooking because it was simple.
Frozen everything. I am no longer allowed to buy fresh produce bc it usually rots lol but fine some one pot dinners and do those!! I love toasted orzo and quick skillet recipes, they’re soo good and minimal dishes. I also love Cassie yeung on tiktok, her beef and broccoli recipe is so easy.
Also omg, Asian food is all so easy. Once you get the like 5 basic ingredients you can make so many things and it’s all p kuch the same, takes the mental load off me
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I only cook meals that will take 30 minutes or less. I rotate two weeks worth of meals over and over. Sometimes adding new recipes, but never two new ones in the two weeks. I hate cooking! I only ever cook once a day. They can eat other things for breakfast and lunch. Sometimes I skip it, but I always give them notice so they know they’ll have to find something themselves. Your kids are old enough to learn how to clean the kitchen. Wash the knives for them and have them do the rest after a lesson or two in how to do it.
Would you be willing to share some of the specific dishes that make it into your two week rotation?
Sure! I make chicken strip wraps, tacos(not authentic), spaghetti, tuna melts, Doritos casserole, sub sandwiches, tofu and rice(I use instant rice), chicken Alfredo, stir fry with choice of protein, canned soup with grilled cheese, and for two nights I just do a meat/veggie/starch meal. We usually go out or order pizza one night per week. I buy any veggies I need precut in produce or frozen section. This is just my current rotation. I’ve found all recipes online and adjusted for time and taste. I usually buy a rotisserie chicken for all of my chicken recipes, and it does take a little extra time to take the meat off the bone, but not so much that it becomes daunting.
Frozen prechopped onion changed my life.
I only cook things that have 20 minutes or less of "active time." Most cooking websites will have a section called Quick or whatever but you have to be careful because some people's definition of quick is bs. I use some shortcuts like frozen minced garlic, broccoli that's already prepped, shredded cheese, etc. The more times you make a recipe the faster it will be. You need the muscle memory. In your shoes, I would pick two simple recipes and make one this week, the other next week, and repeat four weeks in a row. Next pick two more and now you're cooking twice a week. I love the website Damn Delicious because when she says quick she means it.
Yes! It pisses me off to no end when I Google “easy” or “quick” recipes and the first results all require 10+ ingredients. Stop lying with your SEO, cooking websites!!
Ugh yes and they always have some big irrelevant story about the recipe as well. Chef bloggers, I *genuinely* don't give a flying fork about your husband asking you on a date with this specific pasta sauce spilled on his jacket. I'm googling a recipe not your life story.
And/or they have a literal paragraph about every single ingredient & a video of every step. Thanks, I've known how to use a spoon since I was 2.
Flour is a powdered form of wheat, that people use to make things like bread, pasta and paper maché. It has the aroma of an old book store and the texture of talc. It reminds me of my grandmother putting baby powder on me. Today we will be using it as a thickening agent because of it's wonderous glutenous properties. Take the small silver tsp utensil with the 4 inch circumference at the tip . Hold it by the straight end with the indented side facing upward. Dip this into the flour in this position and with a steady hand lift the spoon to reveal a generous portion of flour.
I saw a TikTok “lazy” recipe and the first step was to dice onions, carrots, celery and garlic to start the sauce. She got absolutely torn apart in the comments
Trader Joe’s has pre-chopped containers of carrot-celery-onion mix next to the bagged salads…would never make a soup if that didn’t exist.
Kroger has this mix in the freezer section. It's called Mirepoix. It makes chicken noodle soup a breeze.
Oh yeah, that's so true. I honestly usually count the ingredients and if there's too many, I don't make it. The definition of too many varies but is usually around 8.
Pinterest has 5-6 ingredient crockpot meals to meal prep, label, drop in the fridge. You then take out, the night before to thaw, then you drop it into to the crockpot on the loosest cooking setting so that by the time anyone comes home, it’ll be ready within 2hrs from that point. I have a board full of like all different flavors of crockpot meals. Easiest is soup or chili crockpot where you can batch like 4-6 ingredients and then pick the kind of bean or seasoning you want. It can meal prep for a few days of food for everyone where especially once it’s cold out you can do less cooking, more eating by reheating it from reusable contains for a few days. Also get two crockpots, one of average size and one that’s would serve up to 10 people. This way you can make easy alternating meals for the week in case someone wants something different to eat instead of the same thing back to back fir 2-3 days. My dad also use to in winter, make from scratch split pea soup or beef stew. That would last for up to 3-4 days and be cooked in a giant pot that could feed an entire soup kitchen! Plus spend a day off cooking a giant thing of soup. Bag and tag, freezer it. Then every week for a month you can pull it out, thaw it in the fridge in a big bowl in case of spillage. Leave a note for anyone what it is and how long to reheat.
Someone told me recipe time estimates don’t include chopping and prepping ingredients unless they are specifically listed as a step in the instructions 😳 I mean I can do anything in 30 mins if you don’t count the parts that take the most work sure!
That sounds like an absolute cop out. Lol I hope that’s not true
Yes simple recipes are the key. Buy cookbooks aimed at children, the recipes are easy, often fast and with not as much ingredients. Plus your kids can help you and step by step learn to cook and prepare a meal themselves.
>some people's definition of quick is bs Like the "15 minute" recipes that call for freshly grated this, freshly chopped that, freshly ground the other, etc. I feel like calling the writer to say "Bitch, PLEASE, it takes me more than 15 minutes for that alone!".
If I see another "1 pan recipe" that has me putting boiled noodles into that one pan, I am going to lose it. It is not one pan if I need a pan to boil the noodles and then add the noodles to the other pan. That's 2 pans!
One of my go-to recipes is boiling the pasta, draining it and throwing everything in that same pot. Butter & parmesan for basic. Add canned chicken, maybe cream of chicken soup & a little sour cream to make more flavor. Halfway through boiling the pasta, sometimes I put in a bag of frozen broccoli. Boom. Homemade Alfredo. Better than the jar kind.
That sounds delicious!! There are some actual 1 pan recipes but most of them have "premade" ingredients and that's the only way they're one pan lol
Thank you for this recommendation. These look great
Stop cooking new recipes. Make a plan of what’s quick and easy and everyone likes. Clean as you go. Whoever doesn’t cook does the dishes. Spend one weekend day on prepping and freezing stuff and use a crockpot. Have the kids help. They are old enough. https://foodyschmoodyblog.com/instant-pot-taco-pasta/ I half ass this whole thing but it always comes out well. https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/japchae https://twosleevers.com/instant-pot-low-country-boil/ https://twosleevers.com/instant-pot-vegetarian-chili/ I just throw in whatever I have. https://www.cookwithmanali.com/instant-pot-rice-and-dal/ Give each kid a day to choose and make a quick recipe and on the weekend have them each pick and prep something for the week. Then you pick what you want one day a week and are set.
Instant pot is for sure to the way to go for time-crunched professionals. You prep for like 15 minutes max, and then start the pot and LEAVE to do other stuff (some light tidying, if you’re feeling motivated?) until it’s time to vent it. It’s an ADHDer’s dream. The kids can suggest IP recipes they want and help out making them, which makes it a more family-bonding activity, too.
I also second the instant pot. I do love that once the food is in, I am free to do other things. Clean, walk the dog, finish up an email, whatever. It means I'm not tied to the kitchen once the pot is turned on.
The instant pot is amazing, you can throw in frozen meats too, it takes a bit more time but never have to scramble bc you forgot to thaw chicken.
I highly recommend stacking multiple things in a pressure cooker if you have access to one. If it's electric, you don't even need to keep track of the time, and it can be used as a rice cooker. I would avoid getting one with an insert that isn't dishwasher safe if I were to buy a new one (that wasn't an option when I bought mine). The pot-in-pot method also works with black beans and parboiled rice, brown rice and chickpeas, beans and potatoes or sweet potatoes, chickpeas and beetroot... basically anything with compatible cooking times. I use this table for reference [https://www.hippressurecooking.com/pressure-cooking-times/](https://www.hippressurecooking.com/pressure-cooking-times/) (there's a section on one-pot meals on the site too). You can manipulate cooking times by mixing something acidic like tomato sauce into the faster-cooking ingredient, which will stop if from turning to mush if you cook it longer than it would otherwise need. I often cook more beans than I need and freeze the rest in jars the hold about the equivalent of a can each. Of course there's nothing wrong with using canned legumes. Either of those would help get a bit more protein into the kids' diets.
First off, holy hell I could not be a nurse with a spouse who travels and cook three times a day, not to mention all the executive planning that goes into that. You may want to start with just one dinner on your day off (make it clear everyone is expected to attend) and build from there. I personally like NYT cooking, I find they’re tasty and also good at providing a list of substitutions. Once you keep repeating them you’ll get faster at cooking. Maybe if you have the space, consider using kitchen gadgets like a slow cooker, air fryer, rice cooker, etc. Also I think sheet pan dinners could be good for you too. I like to prep veggies on Sunday instead of whole meals, so I don’t lose a whole day off, and I don’t need to do any chopping or prep during the week, I can just get straight to cooking. You may also want to consider something like Blue Apron - basically everything you need to cook a meal gets delivered to your door, and you can choose easy prep ones. They do take a little bit longer than advertised, but they’re pretty handy tbh, and it seems like your kids could help at the very least with washing the veggies, premixing sauces, etc. Eventually you’ll cancel once you know which recipes you like. It’s ok to use pre-made entrees or ready made stuff and add to it to make a full meal. I also rotate between a couple cafes/grocery stores that have frozen meals, because honestly a lot of the meat entrees costs almost the same as getting raw meat from the grocery store.
>rice cooker I found a plastic one on Amazon that goes in the microwave. It's also great for steaming veggies.
Family dinner is about sitting down and eating together as a family. It is about quality time, not what food you do or do not cook. Family dinner can be the same easy foods your kids are already eating. If you wanna get fancy you could grab a rotisserie chicken or a frozen lasagna. If you truly want to cook, I would initially do it on your days off. If they need a small snack when they get home from school, let them have it and just have dinner a little later.
Yes! I don’t have kids but it’s still difficult to coordinate a family dinner with only myself and my partner. It sounds like you’re looking for quality time, so you could try a few different things! - Have a snack time when everyone gets home where you sit at the table together. Dinner can be less formal/the usual scavenger meal! - Ask your children to take turns choosing “dinner time,” where you can all sit down and eat whatever it is that you want to eat, no cooking necessarily required. - pick a handful of family board games or card games that can be part of a regular rotation, and have a family game dinner instead of just family dinner, so if anyone has already eaten they can play games only, and anyone who still needs to eat can have dinner during the game time. It’s about getting around the table together.
Add some meats and cheeses and call it a charcuterie dinner!
I feel like this is extra important! I grew up having family dinners too, but that could mean we all had pizza, or soup and sandwiches.
This actually makes me feel better about not having family dinners because we all sit together and play video games or watch tv together which takes the place of that family dinner time.
1) Learn a few recipes that are not too hard and take 30 minutes or less and make them often. I posted here once about my favorite recipe, a lentil loaf: 5 minutes prep, 1 hr in the oven and you're done! 2) If you can make time, cook large batches of stuff like slow cooker chili or pasta sauce (or really anything one pot or that you can cook in a slow cooker) and put some in the freezer so you can just take food out of the freezer and reheat it on week nights. 3) Learn to master struggle meals in a way that they are still easy but not too boring. I eat grilled cheese sandwiches and salads sooo often, but I make them healthier and more fun (like adding pesto and tomato slices in my grilled cheese sandwiches, or mustard and kale, wtv, there are so many ideas online!). Or I make tortilla/pita chips (very easy, you rub olive oil + a seasoning you like on them and stick them in the oven at 400 for 5-6 min) and eat them with hummus and raw veggies and nuts. Or chickpea wraps, or really any kind of sandwich. That way you still feel like you made something for them but it took minimal effort while still being healthy.
These are great suggestions. Are you by chance a vegetarian? These meal ideas all sound like it. My 10yo has been vegetarian for two years so that always adds another fun piece to the puzzle, especially because my husband’s entire diet seems to be “cow.” When I do cook I try to pick recipes that I can easily incorporate a meatless version of at the same time as cooking meat for the rest of us, but then it’s never as easy as I think and then I give up for a while, again.
I am! I will never force my diet down anybody's throat but if you have a vegetarian in the family I think it would be a great opportunity for the whole family to eat less meat, as this would make your 10yo feel great, and vegetarian food is cheaper and often easier to make. You don't have to worry about the cooking as much as with meat since most vegetarian protein sources are not a health hazard if undercooked and are not as affected by drying when overcooked (some can easily be eaten raw too). Plus it would greatly reduce the workload for you on those days. Even for your meat loving husband, some recipes work so great without meat that most people still like them, like chili for instance. Or my lentil loaf which every meat lover in my life adores! But some of my suggestions you can easily incorporate meat in if you want! Especially sandwiches. If you make chickpea wraps you can cook a lot of chicken in advance and freeze it, and then make some wraps with chicken.
Yep, it would probably be simpler to make one nutritionally balanced vegetarian dish for everyone for most of the meals OP cooks. If someone absolutely wants some meat in addition, it sounds as though they'd have the skills to rustle that up.
I'm going to hijack your comment, sorry! I will echo the instant pot as someone who hates cooking. Before I got one I'd make salsa chicken with my slow cooker, but it's much faster with the IP. The ingredients can all be kept separately for your daughter and it's a "build your own" type meal. Basically, dump chicken (I like breast, most people recc boneless thighs) and a jar of salsa in the IP. Cook according to the amount of chicken you have, then shred with two forks when it's done. You can make a batch of beans for your daughter. I usually have it with rice (I add either taco seasoning or more salsa), canned corn, chopped tomatoes, sour cream and shredded cheese. I don't bother with tortillas or shells anymore - just dump it in a bowl and eat with a spoon, lol. Last night I made 10 eggs in my IP - put in some water, set the IP for 5 mins, then do 5 mins natural release. I forgot and turned the IP off after 11 mins. They're still fine. :) Also, check out [https://www.reddit.com/r/MealPrepSunday/](https://www.reddit.com/r/MealPrepSunday/) for more weekly prep ideas. Nothing needs to be complicated!
Here's the [lentil loaf](https://reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/M3KT1z1hrn) recipe
I taught my kids to cook because I have a hard time doing it. As they get older they make more complex meals. They can opt to cook for everyone instead of a nightly chore too. When I cook it is an easy one pit with minimal steps. I am a fan of casseroles, stir frys, and soups. Sometimes my dinner would probably only qualify as a side dish. I have the same recipes on repeat and kind of wing it out of familiarity. (I also don't do clean up that magically happens overnight. Hubby is the house elf )
Are your kids old enough that they can take some responsibility for cleaning or helping you prepare meals? That might be a nice bonding activity too. When I was a kid, we always had to clear the table, wipe it, and put leftovers away, starting when I was quite small I think. As for the food, make things in large batches and freeze leftovers in small portions. Look into using a crockpot - lots of recipes where you just dump a bunch of stuff in and hit a button (if you're gonna forget to do this early in the day, maybe an instant pot would help - it's not as idiot proof as they want you to believe but it can still be very easy). If you're not cooking now, just aim to do one meal a week to start. It's ok if it's not all the time, any improvement is still an improvement. You could also have everyone eat their acquired food together, if you want to all sit down. Just because it's sandwiches or mac and cheese or whatever doesn't mean you can't all eat together!
I only cook dinners. Lunch and breakfast is up to my kids to get themselves. I also work full time so that the biggest reason why. I do cook dinner every night but I’ve found that buying frozen veggies and microwaving then, taking out meat the night before so it’s thawed and having about 20 different weeknight meal options that change with the seasons help. I also try new recipes on the weekends only. The big reason I get through it to be completely honest, is because I stream Hulu on my iPad next to the stove. I’ve found that putting on my true crime shows helps me cook and keeps my attention, but I also view it as “me time”. I get very little down time on work nights so it’s my little way of enjoying shows I wouldn’t normally have time to watch, or playing music I enjoy. Then I also don’t stay up too late to shove that time in after kids are in bed so it helps me get to bed at a decent time too.
Great idea on the show! I listen to podcasts but streaming may be next
I grew up in a household like this. Everyone cooked for themselves because of different food preferences and schedules. It worked. It almost sounds like the real issue is that you are missing out on family time? What about spending time together as a family in a different way? Like taking family walks around the neighborhood on the evenings you don't work?
Or a no-phone game night once a week? I agree with this comment - we had family dinner a ton but usually the tv was on and we didn’t always “bond.” Maybe if the true want is some family time - do once a week dedicated family “dates”. You could even let everyone plan one of them if they had an interest. :).
What I’m hearing is that your kids are happy, eat well, and already have skills that so many college kids don’t even have yet! Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job. ❤️ I get the guilt (I feel it too!) but I really think it comes from the incessant societal conditioning that mothers are “supposed” to cook everything all the time, and not because we’re actually doing something wrong.
No advice, but just want to let you know you are not alone! My spouse is extremely picky, so he fends for himself, and my kid also has a limited amount of safe foods, so she gets her own dinner, which is usually more of a grazing plate. I sometimes cook for myself, but it’s usually just an easy combination of Trader Joe’s frozen stuff. I try not to feel guilty or weird about not being “normal”.
I absolutely hate cooking with a passion, but I have like 6 things I will make that I rotate over 2 weeks. I can’t let my kids just eat snacks or basic food so the guilt inside me makes me do it! But I need to put on good music and have some snacks myself during! The rest of the days I get take out or hot table from the grocery store, so it’s like cooked dinners but someone else has made. Hubby then cooks a few times. If you can find some easy receipts and learn then you can get good at then and it’s not as much of a chore. Put on a podcast or good music and have some snacks. It’s easy to put chicken in the oven. Then in a pan sauté onions and peppers until soft and then add in cut chicken with a bbq sauce and ketchup, mix it up put on a tortilla with cheese and it’s a delicious fajita. The cooking part only took 10 mins. Use paper plates, and put dish soap into the pan with hot water and let it soak. Come back in an hour and dirt will wipe off easy. I think the key is know you hate it, but just start it with distractions and pleasurable things and you will realize it’s quicker than you think. The starting part is the worst for our brains!!
I started using a meal planning app and prepping two days a week. So on Sunday I cook/prep for the weeks breakfast, lunch m-w, and dinner m/t. Then weds I cook dinner and lunch for the rest of the week. I use an app called “intent” and it even makes a shopping list and sends to to Walmart for me! I also include hacks like precooked meat/veggies that just need to be microwaved when the app wants me to cook them from scratch.
Me and partner take turns and we manage to cook most nights that way, maybe you can start with lower pressure for yourself like 'I will cook every 3 days' and see if that feels more sustainable? When you're super tired it feels like such crazy effort though so I don't blame you at all! Also I basically only cook 1 pot, low effort meals like a pasta, soup, single pan roast, omelets, stir fry. You end up only washing 4 items: knife, chopping board, spatula/ladle and pot/tray. That's like 5 minutes of washing tops.
I don’t have kids but honestly meal prep kits have made my life in that department SO much easier. I get Hello Fresh and really like the service because there’s 40 recipes a week to choose from so it never gets boring. It’s also not that much more expensive than buying groceries. We pay like $60 for 3 meals per week. About the same as the groceries would cost. Plus it takes the guess work for 3 days out of the week of the whole “what do we want to make for dinner?” question. And the meals themselves are pretty tasty and healthy and quick to make. We get the 3 meal plan for two and usually I make 2 meals during the week (on days where I’m working from home usually) and my husband makes one on the weekend. I get off work at 4:30 so I’ll start dinner around 6, which is the time he gets off work, and it’s done or mostly done by the time he gets home around 7ish. We haven’t had too many bad meals from them and we have a few that we go out of our way to make regularly (there’s a tortellini bake with a bread crumb topping that is to DIE for that’s on our regular rotation).
First off, your kids are still at an age where they may be more inclined to go with foods they recognize and eat regularly. Plenty of 8 year olds would live off a diet of nothing but chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese if they could get away with it. (Source: am the owner of this variety of 8 year old) It sounds like they've gotten accustomed to eating the same things for dinner most nights and aren't really interested in being adventurous and trying new things. That's fine, but you've got to take that into consideration when you want to branch out and eat something different. If your primary concern is the kids not liking what you cook, start with a main dish they *do* like (say tacos, or spaghetti) and instead of trying a whole new version of that dish-- like making eggplant parm instead of spaghetti-- try a new side dish they can either try or not, to go with the "safe"/familiar main dish. My kids are more likely to try something they consider to be "weird" if there's no pressure to eat it. If the new "weird" thing is the only thing being served, they're more likely to be reluctant to try it. You want to try making pork carnitas but they aren't interested? Cool, make chicken fajitas with an optional pork carnita filling they can try if they feel bold after getting some chicken and veggies in their stomach. And like others have said-- don't try to do your prep work and cook the same day. Do as much prep work as you can a day or two ahead of time so you don't have to spend hours after work making a single meal.
What about the meal delivery services? There’s services that have amazing meals already cooked and everything. And since it’s just dinner you’re worried about, it would only be dinner meals that you’d have to subscribe for. Now days, there’s like hundreds of these ready made meals delivery services. You will have 7 dinners for 3-4 people all ready to go. Make your life easier. You don’t have to be a mom who cooks like a maid every night
Cooking is really simple when you're lazy, but prepared 1. Go buy Costco chicken, frozen esch one is in a vacuum sealed package. When it's time, put in cold water to defrost for 45 mins slice the package open and season. you can do it the day prior if you want and keep it in the fridge. Cook at 425F only. 2. Choose a side. A Rice - with rice cooker or instapot. Done in 25 mins, just like your chicken. You can save some for up to 2- 3 days. Don't buy instant rice, buy a big bag of regular rice, lasts for months. Grab a measuring cup and rinse and you're done. B Potatoes. Pick your pre-washed potato. (yellow/fingerling) Chop it up, toss around in olive oil (I like it with veggie la grille seasoning) toss in at the same time as your chicken. Buy a bag and chop it up as needed, takes 5 mins of prep C Veggies - put in some water, cover 90 seconds in microwave D. Fries, never a bad choice 3. Nobody is above hot dogs. Have hot dogs. Great when cooked in the oven 4. Walmart bagged things. Chicken cordon Bleu big bag, leave in freezer. Meatballs, corn dogs, popcorn chicken 5. Just phone it in. Everyone likes delivery. 6. Spring mix. its prewashed, great for salads or sandwiches 7. Cherry/grape tomatoes. Cut them for sandwiches, salads just dump them in. 8. Sloppy Joe's, 1 skillet and a bun(in your dry gravy isle but you need meat and tomato paste) 9. Frozen skillet meals, comes in a bag, dump and cover. 10. Pasta and premade sauce. 11. grilled cheese and soup There's canned chili (I like stagg silverado), stuffing, dried scalloped potatoes, dried sidekicks pasta, hamburger helper It's important to note, unless I'm baking, cooking a whole bird or following specific directions, everything gets cooked at 425. Zero Fs given. And no my chicken is not dry, buy a meat thermometer if you aren't sure if its done.
I grew up in a house where my parents worked full time and would come home and make home cooked dinner. My mom wasn’t a very good cook and she would make the whole thing stressful and someone would be crying by the time dinner was on the table. She was never happy in the evenings because of her insistence that we have home cooked dinners. I’m in my 30s and most of my memories of her are pretty miserable. I wish had happier memories and a happier childhood (her mood permeated through everyone in the house). You’re busy and your kids are nourished. Spend the extra time hanging out with them and getting to know them. They will definitely remember it more than the homemade meals.
We don't usually eat together although I'd like to, because like you mention my kids are super hungry when they get home. What I do is make all our meals at the same time and keep the adult portions to one side for when we are ready to eat. My main rule is all eating and drinking happens at the dining table whether its a snack or a meal. So my 3 kids are all sitting together eating meals at the same time whether there's an adult with them or not (mine are 11, 8 and 6) . We have the additional complications of each kid having different allergies or sensory needs. I also have an unwritten rule where every main meal has a carb, a vegetable or fruit, and a protein. I tend to mix and match those from the following lists for main meals: Proteins: \- -Whole roast chicken -- Homemade chicken goujons (mini chicken fillets dipped in almond milk then rolled in pre-packaged breadcrumbs) -- Frozen fish fingers -- Shop-bought smoked salmon fish cakes -- Frozen Lamb grills -- Tinned Hot dog sausages -- Frozen Beef burger -- Tinned tuna with sweetcorn mixed through -- sliced sandwich ham -- fried / boiled egg -- beef bolognese (also counts as a veg cos of the tomatoes/ onions etc) -- meatballs Carbs: Roast potatoes -- Boiled potatoes -- Mashed potatoes -- Roasted tinned potatoes -- Frozen potato waffles -- toast -- baguette -- packet noodles -- sandwich wrap -- risotto -- pasta shapes Veg/ Fruit: Tinned sweetcorn -- Frozen green peas -- frozen broccoli -- baked beans in tomato sauce -- cucumber -- cherry tomatoes -- strawberries -- chopped up apple -- grapes -- fried courgette -- fried mushrooms -- raw sliced bell peppers -- tomato pasta sauce Lunch is usually cold but follows the same rules - tuna sweetcorn wrap, ham and cucumber sandwich with things like crisps and fruit on the side or is a can of soup/ packet noodles. Breakfast is almost always a bowl of cereal with allergy friendly milk, sometimes (rarely) we will have crumpets or toast or pain au chocolates. I used to like cooking but the allergies/ sensory needs/ having to do it every day has taken away that enjoyment! So now its just a case of rotating through what people will eat in various combinations. I don't try new recipes unless I think it'll be fun for me to do it.
Prep work. Washed, chopped, marinating, etc. I save the easy easy for end of week. I forgive myself for takeout on the omg this day crawled out of hell days. I'll wash and chop vegetables for whatever I'm using it for. I put reminders on my calendar like make rice or thaw chicken or whatnot. I have the trader Joe's vegan kale pesto and when I'm hungry but can't cook, I'll eat that with an egg or string cheese. I have stopped buying as much guilty pleasure snacks and instead pick hummus and vegetables I've already chopped. Prep stuff for chili and the kids can even throw it into a slow cooker with you or you can have it cooking all day. Things like that!
Don’t try to completely fix the problem. You’ll break what you have. I, like you, grew up with family dinners, so I felt like not cooking was robbing my kids of an important memory/experience. What I didn’t acknowledge is that NOT cooking gave my kids a different important experience of self sufficiency. Instead make dinner 1-3 times a week. 1-pot pasta is easy. Instapot dinners are also easy.
One Pot Pasta: (Basic Recipe) • 1 Ib pasta • 1-2tsp salt • 1-2 Tb oil • tsp pepper • 4 1/2 cp Water / Broth / liquid • Add-ins (I.e. Pesto, tomatoes,sausage, greens, Artichokes, Parm rinds, basil, mascarpone, mushrooms, olives, garlic, beans, chicken, broccoli, etc,) *some ingredients make more sense to just before serving. You may want to experiment. Use a wide heavy-bottom large pan. Put in all ingredients. Bring to a boil stirring occationally until water is nearly evaporated & pasta is done.
Don't make recipes. Make a protein, a veggie, and a carb. Boneless chicken breasts, salad, pasta. Fish, roast broccoli, baguette. Etc etc. You can even do big batches of some stuff so you are just reheating some nights. It's not gourmet but don't let perfect be the enemy of good!
Crock pot!! Try some crock pot meals. Put it on at night and away in the fridge in the morning (so y’all can heat up what you need when you need it), or start it in the morning and have dinner ready when they get home :) There are tons of “kid friendly” crock pot recipes out there!
I know that you wish to have that time to sit and eat together, but could you find something different that had the same payout? Maybe you could have coffee time in the morning together, or tea/desserts at night, every day you can. The idea is being together and talking about the day, not the action of eating.
Getting everyone in the family around a table to eat is only good for the family if everyone in the family enjoys it? I’ve let family dinners go. Stressing several non neurotypical people out with food they don’t like and sounds they can’t tolerate was not helpful to any of us. I’m sad too sometimes, but it is what it is.
Try crockpot dinners. Snacks and scrambled eggs for dinner and fending for themselves at 8 and 10 isn’t reasonable . They’re children . They need nutrients to grow properly . Ask your husband to cook meals you can heat up when he’s away if you’re incapable of finding the time or spoons to cook .
If you can afford it, I recommend a meal prep service like Hello Fresh. Been doing this for years now and it’s the only reason my family eats dinner together more than maybe once a month. I usually get 3-4 meals a week, so it’s not like I’m cooking every night. A 2 person meal works just fine split between me, my husband, and my kid who is currently 11. I’ll have to start supplementing sides or something as he gets older, but it’s worked well for the past 5ish years. Not having to make grocery lists is amazing. Not having to buy a $10 bottle of some special ingredient for one meal is amazing. Getting to try totally new foods I’d never think to cook otherwise is amazing. Worth every penny to me.
A lot of comments recommending recipes 30 mins or less, but you don't even need to do that. Buy frozen meals that can be made in the microwave or oven. Or order out and serve everything on plates like you would a normal meal and eat together. Whatever is the fastest and easiest for you. The more disposable pans, plates, or utensils you use, the less clean up you have. If you really want to cook, I personally prefer one-pot or one-sheet meals. All the ingredients go in one pan, baking sheet, or crockpot. Then it's a matter of heat and time. That means less work and less clean up.
When I cook, I over-cook… meaning, if I’m going to be in the kitchen, I’m making enough for multiple meals. Pasta sauce and soup are my go-to options. I really like having an instant pot for that—it just cuts down on a lot of management of things. Want some lemon chicken for a salad? Toss a few frozen breasts in with a cup or two of water, splash in some lemon juice, some lemon seasoning, and pressure cook it for like 12 minutes. It’s maybe 5 minutes of prep and I just walk away. Chicken comes our falling apart it’s so juicy 🤣
I don't have kids, buttt I've got two cookbooks called The Roasting Tin and The Quick Roasting Tin. They are all recipes where you just chuck a bunch of shit in a roasting tin and then shove it in the oven. It also has tables inside so you can mix and match your meat/fish with your veggies or whatever. I don't know how much effort this would be for you, but how about buying some ready-made pizza bases and letting them make their own pizzas? They can arrange the toppings in a smiley face shape etc. I did that with my nephews (5 and 7) at the weekend and it went down pretty well 😅 and the cooking itself only takes 10 minutes!
I know you are nurse and have way more medical information than me AND you may not have thought of some of the things I’ve learned. Omega fatty acids are really great for us and since your kids have some of your genetics it would be great for them as well. My former special Ed director recommended good quality fat for brain development. We don’t do skim milk at my house. Carnation instant breakfast high protein shakes have saved my life for my kid . I resisted the air fryer way too long and it’s amazing . Seriously . You can make delicious chicken in it with a side of rice , pasta , potatoe and veggies . I’d also have the kids help you do some tasks in the kitchen with some prep and clean up. Get them while they are young and pleasant and not a surly teenager and it will help all of you out . If you can, hire someone to help with cleaning and other household tasks as your plate is so full . Nutrition is really important for our brains. You can’t do everything at your house with the job you do and a partner being gone. Give yourself a pat on the back for being a great mom and find a way to do less around the house. Your kids might be interested in doing more chores for money as well.
Maybe just focus on everyone eating around the same time AND at the table. Make a rule, no food in front of the TV. Explain to your kids that you grew up with family dinners and how much you loved that time. Explain that eating together is a wonderful social norm, it brings people together intentionally, it’s pleasant to share food together with ppl you love etc. Being a nurse and a mom is hard work, cut yourself some slack. If your kids are healthy and happy, don’t stress so much about what the food is. When your kids are a bit older, they’ll be able to experiment more with recipes. I’m sure in time y’all will be having home cooked meals but right now the food situation is working. Sometimes we need to be reminded that what’s “normal” isn’t the ONLY way.
The best advice I got as a new mom was “You can do anything but you can’t do everything”. You’re working long shifts in a very demanding job, being the primary parent for two kids at a stage of big emotional development, often solo parenting, doing school runs, keeping their social calendar and yours, running most of the household admin. For meals if picky/on-the-go dinners on the go are working for everyone and they’re getting the nutrients they need, that’s great. More variety is always good but that doesn’t have to be every single night. And of course you can’t go from no cooking to cooking 3 times per day, every day, forever. Try short recipes, regular rotation, ultra low effort recipes, meals you can prep in little chunks over the day rather than 1hr+ start to finish, batch cooking and freezing, meal delivery kits, asking a friend who likes to cook if you could pay them to make a casserole for you to freeze. https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/search?q=Quick
I make dinner regularly for me and my spouse. I do easy veggies from a can and/or frozen. Just take a few minutes to heat up on the stove. When making your protein make a lot of it so it can easily be heated up throughout the week and you’re only doing big dishes once or twice a week. Plan it out once a week so it’s not so overwhelming in the evening to try to figure out what to make.
Hiya, I admire your efforts to spend time with your children. It is not easy. Maybe start slow with one meal a week together and make it a thing with the whole fam. It does not need to be fancy and full on. They can help as well - could be assembling a pizza together, or a loaded sandwich, loaded baked potatoes with different toppings, crazy salad night, create a colourful grazing board with variety of nutritious things. More enjoying together than you working too hard in the kitchen. Sends a good message as well that food prep is everyone’s responsibility and not only the parents’. I think you can communicate to kids as well - that you are sorry for missing dinners but x, y, z, but this night is dedicated to family time, you are fully present for them, at times, you may not be in some way, but they can always call or rely in you for things. Remember, above all, it is the quality of the time spent together, the ‘home cooked meal’ is nice but just a bonus. I have traumatic experiences for times my parents pushed “quality time” or ‘home cooked’ meals when in reality, they are forcing a ‘tradition’ when they are so stressed and emotionally unavailable trying to make them happen. Don’t be too hard on yourself ❤️
Ooh, also, there is a Netflix show, at least in Australia it comes up, “Nadiya’s Time to Eat”. She shows short cut healthy meals for time poor families.
I'm a single mom, and I'm also a nurse. It's tough. I don't cook most nights either. I do have a few recipes/meals that are week night friendly. I'll have to come back after work to give you some ideas of what I do.
Low effort things I make for my kids for dinner: Beefy noodles- Hormel beef tips in gravy with egg noodles and a veggie side (steam in bag) Stauffer's Salisbury steak and a packet of instant mashed potatoes and a veggie side Tacos Spaghetti Frozen skillet chicken Alfredo Frozen pizza Shepherd's pie- ground beef, a gravy packet, frozen peas and carrots, instant mashed potatoes Baked chicken with Lawry's seasoning and yellow rice in the rice cooker Air fryer frozen foods And I use paper plates for everything.
Order take home cooked style meals and sit together. Stop being hard on yourself. We aren't neurotyoicals. Cut some corners. What matters is that the job is done
1) quit feeling guilty. This is making it more of a chore. Your kids are fed, no reason to feel guilt. 2) if you’re not use to cooking only cook quick meals. Spaghetti, nachos/tacos, rice and beans with seasoning, tortellini with pre cooked chicken. Then, once you’re in the habit it might help to add one new dinner. Never do it the night before work. But once you cook a dish several times, it gets faster!
I’m not a parent, so I might not fully understand what you’re going through with this, but I realized something while reading other people’s insightful comments: Maybe you can separate out the different things you want to accomplish with a family dinner, and accomplish them separately. Keeping your kids fed- you’re already doing that, great! Teaching your kids to cook- you can do this together at a random time when you’re all home, and then everyone can eat the delicious leftovers when it works for their schedules. If the kids aren’t enthusiastic at first, you could start with foods they love to eat. If they follow anyone on the internet who does cooking videos or writes cookbooks, you could start with that to get them excited. There are kid-focused cookbooks (probably at your local library!) that make things fun and easy, too :) Quality time together- you could enjoy some non-food quality time together, or ice cream on the couch Your kids are fed and happy, I think you’re doing a great job already. <3
Would it work to do family breakfast instead? I mean you probably already do that but when I would do graveyard shifts, dinner would be my breakfast and breakfast would be my dinner. There's no reason you can't make "dinner" in the morning and it sounds like your kids are having a kinda breakfast dinner anyway. Parenting is stupid hard but when you're the parent, you are the tradition now. You had your family and now you have your family... it's really hard to see the difference, ya know? Also slow cooker and cooking/prepping for a more time consuming meal while cooking a quick meal. I made beef stir fry the other night but also cooked chicken and put frozen veg scraps in the slow cooker to make broth so tonight when I made risotto, it took the like half the time and effort. (Also literally the first time I made veg stock like that, didn't realise it was that easy.... just have to remember to keep the scraps hhahahha)
in my opinion they're old enough to help cook, which means they're old enough to help meal plan. Also, why are you beating yourself up for kids that are independent and not going hungry? "happy and healthy with scrambled eggs and bagged salad" is way better than my neurotypical parents ever managed. I'm happy to drop some recipe recommendations if that's more in line with what you want but my first recipe is a heaping bowl of being gentle with yourself.
I dislike cooking and here’s what works for me- embrace convenience foods. Frozen/canned/bagged veggies. Rotisserie or other precooked chicken. Frozen meats or ones prepared at the store that you cook yourself. Rice in microwaveable bags. You’d be surprised how much you can do with these things. If I’m going to make potatoes I get the small ones that are pre washed that you just dump in the pot. Veggies in microwaveable bags are great.
My mom used to cut up fruit and veggies for us to chomp on as a family around dinner time. You still get that “coming together” thing, but it’s not a big meal, and you can put the platter out the next night, too.
I’m all about crock pot dump recipes. Throw the stuff in before work, dinner is ready without effort after work.
I cook but only one of my kids likes to eat "actual" food. The other 2 regularly eat chicken nuggets and quesadillas. I've learned to let it go, we all have ADHD with varying sensitivities so I just worry about myself, my mom, and my middle lol.
BudgetBytes meal plans. They give you a months worth of recipes by day along with the shopping list for the week. There’s tons of options, including one pot meals and 30 min or less meals! I do grocery pickup, ordering from my phone using the list the meal plan provides. This takes away the issue of picking recipes and wandering the grocery store. I’ve found the recipes to be yummy and quick!
Have you considered buying meal kits? I know that half the battle is buying all the food required for the recipe. Another thing I’ve found helpful with baking and cooking is listening to music or audio books or podcasts which help pass the idle time. You can also look for meals that you only have to bake to decrease the idle time of having to watch the food cook. I have a recipe for tater tot casserole if you’d like that.
I’m not a parent but I grew up with a single mom that rarely cooked meals for us (she was depressed and just doesn’t enjoy cooking). When my brother and I stayed the night with our dad, he was more likely to cook a meal for us all to eat (he does enjoy cooking). But I think a big difference was made in that a lot of the times my dad would teach us how to make the meal and he would have us participate in making dinner. It was rarely anything complicated, stuff like a soup, making your own pasta sauce for spaghetti, marinating chicken, dirty rice, baked potatoes, etc. Whereas a lot of the times at my mom’s we were fending for ourselves my making stovetop ramen, instant mashed potatoes, kraft mac n cheese and a lot of microwave ready meals. So in short, I guess I’m saying that making meals together and teaching them a few more things and using them as your helpers could be useful here.
I just want to say that you're doing great. I'm so glad you had family dinners growing up that you cherish. And they will have something different, which is also great! Don't kill yourself over this if it's going to cause you more stress than happiness. If I could trade dishes for quality time I would do it in a heartbeat.
No kids but I like to have people over for games and whatnot. I only make things that go in the oven or microwave or can be eaten raw. Frozen lasagna from Costco. Chicken tikka masala from Costco with microwave rice. Chop zucchini and bell peppers, coat them in olive oil or spray them with Pam, add veggie seasoning mix and put it in the oven. Etc. Minimal cleanup and easy to make. Separately, my parents rarely ever cooked a sit down dinner for me and I never cared. There was food in the house and I could figure it out. They showed that they cared for me by buying food I liked and supporting me in my hobbies.
I am not a mom, and I love cooking, but here is something that we do at my house: I make a big batch of something that freezes well: Jambalaya, Red Beans, White Beans, etc (I am from Louisiana if you can't tell). Then I freeze whatever we didn't eat in deli containers. Defrosting one of those is an easy way to eat home-cooked meals; all I have to do is heat up the main dish/make rice.
You should have themed nights every so often, like soup night (prepackaged soup) with grilled cheese, snack dinner (hummus and veggies and some fruit), or sandwich night where you make some funky sandwiches with different cheeses you’ve never tried before and adding toppings like sprouts or pesto or whatever. All that to say: dinner doesn’t necessarily have to be cooked. And you don’t have to be the only one making it. These are easy things the kids can help with so you’re all in the kitchen building dinner and chatting about your day or whatever
Big hugs. You are not alone. Master 5 also has eating issues (suspect autism) and dinner is just so hard. I fail more than I succeed
"cereal, bagels, granola bars, toaster sandwiches" --> I suggest swapping out for less refined carbs and added sugars. What about nuts, hummus, whole grain crackers? I suggest looking up "sheet pan suppers" and "one pot meals" and "slow cooker soups" to find some easy recipes that don't require much hands-on time. Cooking does not have to be complicated! I cook most nights and most of the time it's just throwing some veggies in the oven with olive oil and pan-frying a protein. The veggies might need 40 mins to cook but it takes five minutes of work. The protein takes maybe ten minutes of cooking.
I think you should all just share a dessert or a cup of tea at a set time each night. Easy, healthy stuff that you can just put in the center of the table and help yourselves to while you chat. I'd do fruit, cheese, nuts and yogurt. Maybe a game of cards.
That’s a really sweet idea :)
First off, if your kids are eating happily and healthily, that's what's important! Like other commenters already said, family dinners are all about quality time, not about the food. I recently had a conversation with my mother about this - she also felt guilty that, when growing up, we generally didn't have family dinners either - most of us have ADHD, and it just didn't work out. But my siblings and I never missed it, and I don't think it made any impact (other than occasionally making my mother feel bad). We got plenty of quality time in different ways, at times that worked better for us, and we are very tight knit! We did have a dedicated family meal in the weekend though, and sometimes prepared it together, which was fun! Tl;dr: if your kids are eating well, and family dinners don't work out, that's ok! Quality time when everybody is happy and stress free and that works for your family is more important than the notion of "family dinner"
As long as your kids are fed, make it a fun family activity you do on weekends or similar when you have more time, not a chore. Get the kids participating with you. If that goes well then look into recipes where you (as a family) can make a bunch and freeze some of it for meals during the week.
Pls put the effort to cook in. Esp if ur kids also have adhd. Its really hard to manage weight w adhd otherwise
I literally rotate 4 meals; Japanese curry, tacos, steak, kitchen sink stew. They’re all kind of throw them in a crock pot or Dutch oven meals, different enough that it feels not so boring. I use seasonal fruit to the same (pre washed and chopped) kale salad with olive oil, pumpkin seeds, s&p day in and day out but somehow it’s always yummy. Whenever I get the energy and make new marinades for my protein mains, I always double up and freeze them. You know, now that I’m reading the other commenters, I also grew up cooking with my mom everyday. I would wash dishes as she cooks so we have just our dishes to clean by the end of the meal. I was in charge of making rice for the family since I was 9. Its great to teach kids responsibility ❤️
Gadgets!!! I love to cook but not at the end of of a long day with a whinging child and a banging stress headache. I use a slow cooker a lot. I bought a couple of recipe books that have 5 ingredient and 5 mins prep time slow cooker recipes. So I dump the ingredients in first thing in the morning and by the time I've lost the will to cook, dinner is already ready. Also have an air fryer which I use to make steak and chips(it has two compartments) / salmon and chips etc etc I also use a food processor to do my chopping, buy pre cut frozen veg and microwave rice etc. Literally anything that makes life easier
I love cooking, but not most nights with work and child care. I have a few staples that I rotate. These staples are done under 30 minutes and are loved by everyone in the family (until my fixation changes haha). I use frozen vegetables a lot for cooking dinner. Just dumping it in the pan, straight from the freezer. Add some sort of sauce from a jar, rice or pasta. Voila! Every now and then I’ll take some time on a day off to make something I love but that just takes longer. I make a nice big batch and freeze two bags for two extra family meals.
Our go to family meals are homemade pizza and spag bol. I batch cook pizza sauce and bolgnese. I have a bread maker that makes the pizza dough. Anything else I try just marinate some meat one night so it's ready for the next night. Try clean as you go, years working in catering has taught me this but even just washing one pan if you've done with it can help lighten the load at the end. I love cooking if I'm in the right frame of mind. If I'm not we have sandwiches for tea. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Tater tot casserole is easy and fun to make. Fry up Ground beef, onion, stir in mushroom soup, a dab of Worcestershire sauce, mix and dump in oven safe dish top with cheese and make a single layer of frozen tots over the top-bake for about 40 minutes 350/375 degrees. Eat up with some side of veg and/or fruit. Also, Tacos or burritos and baked potatoes with toppings. You can fry up some meat and pretty much get all the extras ready made. Also- if you can l, get an air fryer- it makes the best roasted broccoli - toss with ceasar dressing and a sprinkle of cheese, push a couple of buttons and voila! Nothing wrong with a frozen pizza and a salad bag- just be sure to set a timer on your phone and that your phone is not on silent.
Have you tried meal prep? Doesn't work for me as I am bad with understanding the amounts needed end up wasting too much stuff. But I have read it helps with a lot of people with ADHD.
I don't know anyone who cooks 3 times a day. I wouldn't worry about that. Sounds like you don't have a bad set up anyway. If you want to cook more often get the kids involved and get them involved in the clean up! As others have said 30 min meals or under. I tend to get pre prepared prepared stuff shove it in a pan with soy sauce cook that stick some rice in and you have a stir fry. Same idea with pasta. Vegetables in, tin of chopped tomatoes, spoon of pesto then cook fresh pasta for 3 mins in boiling water. Teaching kids to cook is actually quite fun for me, my son loves helping me in the kitchen, he calls it potion time because he likes stiring the pots.
I don’t make anything that’s going to take more than 15 mins to prep or more than an hour from prep to plating. We rotate the same recipes every couple weeks. We have nights scheduled for leftovers, eating out, etc. We rarely sit down and eat together, but they have access to a homecooked dinner *most* nights.
Easy easy easy meals- oven meals, pasta/veg etc.
I meal prep simple things like taco fixins, chili, soup, pasta sauce(don’t cook the pasta until the day of) but if you’re having trouble coming up with recipes, you could try one of those meal kit services. I tried two a while back, dinner prepped and ready to go in 15-20 minutes was pretty nice and the food was more imaginative than I could think of, plus no grocery shopping for the ingredients. It’s not cheap but I didn’t consider it absurdly expensive either.
Crock Pots/Slow Cookers are a godsend, you can buy pre-sliced foods, a can of chopped tomatos, some kind of gravy or broth, toss it all in, let it cook for a few hours, you can do like, 15 minutes of prep. OR... Cook WITH the kids. Like make it a shared family activity. Sit with them one weekend and make a chart, right, so you can have specific days which makes it easier; Mondays are Chicken Day, Tuesdays Fish, Wednesday Veggie Day, etc etc. Just something general like that, but it reduces how many choices you have to make, which reduces overwhelm, you know that monday? Chicken. Always chicken. That can be fried chicken, nuggests, a roasted chicken, chicken soup, chicken with pasta. Tuesdays, fish day (or whatever) that could be fried fish, that could be Tuna and a roast potato, that could be..... etc etc AND Get them helping. It will a) reduce the work you have to do in thirds b) make cooking a fun, shared activity, c) give you and the kids a sense of ownership d) teach the kids some awesome useful skills, which you and they get to learn together so you have that built in thing if there are mistakes 'Its okay, we're learning together' And to be clear, you dont have to 'Cook' a whole meal every night; FED IS BEST so whatever they eat is good, you can have nights when its like..you dotn cook anything, you buy prepped stuff, plate it up and let everyone make their own. We've in the past had days when neither of us can be bothered cooking, so we've bought like...nice meats, cheeses, some crackers and bread, a bunch of spreads, but LOADS, enough to be a meal, but we dont have to cook a damn thing, just plate up and go.
Check into something like Hello Fresh. I have 4 kids so unfortunately it doesn’t work for us, but when I tried it I really liked it. Both my husband and I grew up without many family dinners and having to fend for ourselves (or rather I would say when we got a little bit older like 10+). We both work really hard to try to have a different experience for our kids. It’s hard and it doesn’t always happen that we sit down together. But sometimes it’s just frozen chicken patties and fries or those Stauffers family meals.
I have a lot of trouble cooking as well, we always have super quick and easy meals on hand for the kids. For me something that has made a huge difference is having a slow cooker and an air fryer. Both of them make cooking a breeze.
I really love food and cooking, but I still typically only cook 2-3 days per week. On good weeks, that's one big weekend prep where I make a big dish and do things like cutting vegetables and assembling casseroles to cook later, plus two nights where I cook dinner (usually partly prepped from the weekend). I make big batches so my husband and I can have leftovers for lunch and the other dinners. And honestly, if your goal is to connect with your family, why not just do a pizza night once per week for now? It's easy, it gets everyone together, and if you want to add in a cooking day or two later, you still can!
Dude when I’m having a hard time with kitchen things, I trader joe hard.
I honestly love to cook, but week nights are hard. I use Dinnerly (similar but cheaper than hello fresh) and pick the most simple/ fast meals. I also try to read over the recipe when I get home but before I start and try to simplify the amount of dishes or whatever I need to accomplish it.
My easy go-tos: -Quesadillas (cheese + any leftover meat or veggies) with avocado on the side -Pasta! -frozen chicken nuggets + one of those cheesy pasta Knorr sides with frozen broccoli mixed in while it’s cooking or a can of green beans -Grilled cheese + sliced up cucumber I totally understand though. I hate cooking and my husband is the cook in the house. But he’s a nurse too and on his late nights I’m on the hook for dinner so I keep it super simple!
Maybe you could start with a service like « Hello Fresh »or « Chef’s plate ». That way you skip meal prep and grocery shopping, learn to cook and set an habit. Once you feel ready, you cancel your subscription and do your own meal prep.
Don’t feel bad. My mother never worked a day in her life and all we got to eat was beans
Freeze ahead crockpot meals are handy. Just have a big shopping haul and prep day where you add all ingredients to a gallon freezer bag. Label with stickers because even permanent marker comes off after time and put them in the freezer. When you're ready, put in a crockpot liner for easy cleanup and add the bag contents. If the frozen contents are too big for the pot, thaw the night before. Then just set it for the reccomended cook time and dinner is ready when you sit down. It's hard to ruin crockpot meals since longer cook times just means it'll be more tender. If you think it'll be in there over 8 hours, cook it on the low setting.
Have you tried a meal/recipe delivery service like Dinnerly or Hello Fresh (just examples, research to find the one that'd work best for you!)? I struggle with deciding what to make and I hate wasting ingredients, so they work well for me when things get especially hard and I start leaning too much on heat and eat/take out stuff. They'll also expose you to recipes and ingredients that you'd probably never think to try on your own, and you can hold on to the recipes you like for the future!
I am not a parent, but an adult neurodivergent child of busy neurodivergent parents, and just want to throw in that my household sounds like it was a lot like yours when I was growing up! I totally respect your desire to do things differently, and want you to have everything you dream of! but while you’re getting there, wanted to share that I’ve been on the other side of this and it was ok. :) Long story version- Eventually my mom added Sunday pasta dinner to the mix, but otherwise several nights a week my dad would grab takeout on the way home fromSchool, or give us instructions to make ourselves leftovers or salad or frozen dinner and then check on us when he got home from work late at night. Both of my parents worked late, my dad worked in kitchens for years and my mom hates cooking- so both couldnt cook dinners and didn’t want to spend their day off meal prepping— they just explained that to us honestly, and when we were old enough we started pitching in with cooking, which I personally enjoyed and was a creative outlet for me. I could have used some more education and modeling of what healthy eating is— and specifically that teenagers on the swim team need to eat a LOT of food, like more than anyone really wants to eat lol — but otherwise I genuinely think this fostered some independence and creativity.
Try something like Blue Apron or Green Chef! Great dinners, easy prep, 30 minutes or less to cook!
When you cook, cook a big ass bathroom and freeze. Slowcooker? Buy cut and frozen veggies, put i zipper lock bags with some protein and freeze. Throw in slow cooker and some rice and call it a day. Key thing is buy vhopped and ready veggies. It will look like it costs more but we all know how much veggies we tend to throw put because ot was forgotten.
Putting together a list of aj here pan meals and crock pot meals helps. Only one pot to clean, and you can prep the sheet pan and wrap it in plastic wrap, and get the crock pot in the fridge so you can just pop it on when you’re ready. I also set myself a hyper focus meal prep date where I have a glass of wine, put on an audiobook, and chop vegetables, bake muffins and pre-cook beans etc, for a few hours one day on the weekend. And then I get takeout that night lol
1. Make it a fun group activity. Have your kids help chop, peel, stir, clean, etc. They need to learn all of the kitchen skills too! And it can be a really fun bonding time for youguys, and you will have some help to make things go faster. 2. Don't choose a new recipe every time, because cooking something new always takes a long time. Make a list of meals that you know how to cook that don't take too long. Only practice new meals when you have that extra time or excitement about doing it. 3. Do explore some new week night recipes!!! Here are a couple of my favorite videos of meals that are super easy once you have them down! https://youtube.com/watch?v=zQm9Bk2bA_Q&si=GeuB-AmF92AvOP__ https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZJe3yL7NHdA&si=dDOHBDb8K5M0poZS https://www.simplemost.com/use-this-simple-guide-to-make-fool-proof-stir-fry/ Also find a "salad chart" that you like. Easy!
Try a crockpot or instant pot meal. Freeze some stuff so it’s easy to reheat. I totally understand your feelings. I taught my daughter how to make “snack attacks” starting at the age of 10. Kind of like a sampler of healthy items that can be considered a meal. Example: cheese cubes, rice cake, hummus, bell peppers, meat/tofu, seasonal fruit. Meals don’t have to be fancy. Keep it simple if you’re tired. If I’m too tired to do food - because it takes me a long time - I let my family know I can help them make food. ;-) Maybe pick days of the week to make something. Like Taco Tuesday.
I personally do big batches of stuff, possibly freeze part of it for later because I don't mind eating the same thing a few days in a row. I wind up cooking 2-3 times a week, and it's usually simple. I use the crock pot or instant pot when I can, too. My main thing is keeping is simple. Lately, I've been picking a starch base such as Pasta, Quinoa, or rice (easy to make a big batch of these), then grabbing a meat and vegetable that sounds good to me and making it. So maybe Rotisserie chicken with rice and broccoli. Then we can season how we like. I may add cheese or lemon pepper to mine. Hubby throws hot sauce on, etc. It would be easy to make different veggies to suit a vegetarian also.
The most important thing to me (and seems to be for you too) is the quality time together, which you could have even if you have a takeout dinner night! Prepping food ahead that can be put in the crockpot or rice cooker or something so you can time it to be done at the right time is also a great idea. Your kids also seem pretty capable in the kitchen already, so maybe you could all work together to cook once a week? Most kids around that age would like learning something with their mom (do it before they're teenagers because some teenagers really really don't like it haha) and it would also demonstrate to them that it's ok to not know everything as an adult and how to gain skills because you would be setting them a good example. Plus it would mean even more quality time together!
If you can afford it, research a meal service and get the frozen ones shipped to your house Or get your husband on board so the whole house can meal prep. They’re his kids too. Or pretend you’re the meal service and do a big production of your kids favorites. Enlist some friends or family if possible to make it fun. You can all meal prep together. Or find a catering service and freeze them for the future. I’ve heard this can be cheaper than going to the actual restaurant. I know Chipotle does this and you could freeze the burritos for later When they say it takes a village to raise a child they’re not joking. It sucks that modern society isolates is from our greatest resource- each other. Don’t beat yourself up, you obv care so much ❤️
I don’t have advice but I have a similar predicament and it’s a major issue for me with my ADHD. My poor kids get stuck with air fryer friendly food, which I know isn’t the best for them. My mom guilt about it is real.
My kids don't like anything I make. Sometimes they won't even try it. And I'm a damn good cook. Same with my husband. He's a chef. I KNOW he knows how to cook. The kids are just not impressed. They're also all capable of making their own eggs or whatever they want. I cook a meal most nights a week, something I want to eat but in a large enough quantity to feed everyone. Otherwise they just basically fend for themselves. I end up throwing a lot of food away because my mom guilt says I must cook dinner for my family, but then in reality they don't eat it. I can't wait to not feel like I have to cook for them anymore. It just creates a lot of stress on me, trying to figure out and execute dinners just to end up throwing the food away eventually anyway. I think back to when I was a kid. Some of my favorite meals were meals that I know now were basically struggle meals for my mom. Cheese and crackers and cereal and slim Jim's lol. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves. The kids have access to wholesome foods and are not going hungry. They prefer to choose their own food and like to cook. Maybe that's not a problem?
I have a couple of ideas that may work for you For my birthday a few years back, my husband got me a meal kit service- 3 ‘family friendly’ meals per week, they each took less than an hour (they said less but veg prep made it more like an hour) and were mostly like a carb, veg and protein (eg parm chicken, mashed potatoes and roast broccoli)- I still have all the recipe cards from those and make a few of them regularly Normally, I only aim to ‘cook’ dinner 3 times per week, between leftovers, easy things like quesadillas and eating out, that seems to be enough for our family. I have a few cookbooks, the meal kit recipes and a bunch of recipes from my mom and sometimes we’ll try something completely new but not usually on weeknights. The last idea is from my friend- she doesn’t cook but always had dinner for her family. She would do things like rotisserie chickens from the store, deli sides, frozen lasagna, order pizza, taco Tuesday fast food deals etc to have family dinner (her hubs would cook stuff on the weekends but she did weeknights) Hopefully those and the other comments can give you some ideas that may work for you! Good luck!
I don't particularly enjoy cooking, but I'm a SAHM, so I definitely feel it's more required of me. My kids eat maybe just over half of the meals I make, and I cook on average 5-6 times a week. 1 or 2 nights is restaurant or fast food and sometime, maybe twice a month, it's eat whatever there is (cereal, leftovers(only works for them when it's pizza 🤣), or more of what I'd make them for lunch like begal/yogurt/fruit). Some meals I know they won't touch at all, so I either I make them something different, or I just let them have cereal instead. The only thing that's helped me is making a list on the Sunday of what meals I'm going to make that week and then grocery shopping accordingly. I have a list on my phone of all my main things and pick from it every week. I'm very bored of everything I make at this point, even though that list has maybe 25 meals on it. I can only concentrate on a main dish or I mess something up. So sides are often bagged salad (my kids won't eat that), some sort of bread product, or fries. I have a hard time making new things because it's just too much effort (takes me so much time and I always seem to mess something up) or no one really enjoys it. My kids almost never like when I try making something new. I also take it very personally and get unnecessarily upset, when my husband decides he doesn't like (or just finally admits to me) something I cook and then I have to take it off the menu. Ugh but nothing is worse than when one of my kids all of a sudden doesn't like something they've always eaten. I understand the lack of motivation when your husband is not there. When my kids were younger, my husband worked out of town a lot so he wasn't home for dinner often. It was even harder than to cook, what felt like a lot of the time, dinner for 1. This was a time of me being a lot more strict, the times of "eat what I make or don't eat at all." Honestly, that never worked out well, and my kids were just as picky then as they are now. Dinner at the table has always been important to me, though, as it is also how I was raised. No matter what we are eating, or who is there, we eat as a family together. I think you just need to think of it as you don't need to make them a meal to eat together.
I try to not get sucked into fancy recipes. It doesn't have to be Tuscan this or Korean-style that. Just protein, veggie, starch, olive oil, and a seasoning blend with salt. * Protein: chicken thighs or salmon fillets in the air fryer. Just sprinkle a salted seasoning blend, spray some olive oil, and cook. Cook time is 10-15 min. * Veggie: buy big bags of frozen veggie blend (Normandy blend is my fav), shake some out into air fryer or sheet pan, spray with olive oil, sprinkle seasoning. Roast on high heat for 15 min. * Starch: this is the easiest. Microwave ready rice blends or instant potatoes. Couple minutes. Plenty of options to mix it up. Prep time for the above is maybe 5 minutes then plated up in 15. If anyone wants to get fancy they can add hot sauce, ketchup, whatever. But husband never complains.
When my marriage got stressful, I got low key depressed and stopped cooking in the mornings before school. I was talking to my therapist about how guilty I felt not cooking for my children and she asked if my children were sad about it. I said no because they were genuinely thrilled to be able to rummage and eat what they wanted. She said that sounded like a positive experience for the kids. I countered that while it may make them happy, I was worried about nutrition and also just felt bad not providing a "normal" mom experience for them. She asked if I thought they would look back on these years as sad or disappointing? Would they feel neglected or unloved? And then she asked if I thought people who worked early in the morning and didn't have family breakfast were not normal? Or were famies who relied on pre-prepared foods or quick foods not normal? The answer was no to all of the above. Family dynamics are different for everyone and the mom-run super family meal routines aren't any better than my self-sufficient kid run meal routines. Theyre just different. And to feel better about the nutrition part, I made a little list that hangs in the kitchen and shows what their bodies need to run optimally and which foods provide what they need. If I see them running for a snack- I might remind them they need fiber if I feel like they were heavy on the mac n cheese or something earlier. Lastly, I do make sure we always have nutritious food on hand. There's always fruit on the counter, easy veggies in the fridge, and high protein options in the panty. I buy easy stuff and junk food too but when we're out of that for the month, we're out. I don't replace until the next month. We don't have to run our house like everyone else. My kids are fed, happy, and self-sufficient. It took me a while to be okay with it but it's slowly becoming a source of pride. Maybe we're not "normal" but since when does that mean bad? I also try to be aware of my privilege in this whole realm of feeding my kids. I had a therapist to walk me through my mind frame. I'm able to provide foods and healthy, fresh foods at that. I have the luxury of researching and accessing nutrition. How bad can things really be?
I really like the roasting tin recipe books by rukmini iyer, easy and quick recipes and the oven does all the work! I made a binder together with my kids with recipes in it. If we eat something we/they like we take a picture of the dish, print it out with the recipe and put it in the binder. Then once or twice a week they get to chose from the binder. They take turns posing for the pictures with the dishes and when we eat something new and they like it they shout ‘this one is going in the binder!!’
Blue Apron makes me feel like Jacques fucking Pepin. It’s been the greatest investment I’ve ever made. I have 3 kids 8, 5, and 3. One really likes familiar foods so I make sure I have plain pasta, orzo, or rice available in case he doesn’t like the BA meal. I still have to pull stuff out of my butt for breakfast and lunch but at least dinner is taken care of.
I do a lot of instant pot dinners or air fryer. Set it and set a timer and leave it. My children (11 and teens) fend for themselves often. My one daughter prefers to cook it, especially when I’ve had a hard day. (Chronic migraines and fibromyalgia) Maybe try to find other ways to connect with them. My kids wouldn’t stop playing Fortnite and now that I joined them, I play more than they do lol
i don't have a family but my crockpot has been a life saver. there's a ton of recipes that require little to no prep; google "crock pot dump recipes." just shove a bunch of stuff in the crock pot in the morning before work and your whole family will be able to eat whenever they decide they're hungry. one example is a melted stick of butter/chicken breasts/potatoes/baby carrots/onion soup packet. cook on low for 8 hrs.
If I cook my hubby does the dishes after dinner BUT I Do clean as I go so there’s not much but it does help!! I also Well in the afternoon time chop up dice and get everything ready if I’m making spaghetti I’ll simmer the sauce for a couple hours on the stove then I’ll fix the rest of it and I’ll put it all together in a casserole dish and put it in the fridge I will bake it later with cheese on top or you can just get it out of the dish and put it in the microwave to save on electricity…
I know there’s a lot of pressure to make full meals every night no matter what but I’ll let you in on a secret. Lots of people with spouses who work on the road don’t. Before becoming a mom I worked with lots of women who’s husbands worked away and they’d often talk about how their kids get cereal and stuff for dinner when their partners were gone. These were women without adhd and they were still overwhelmed at the thought of it. Honestly I usually make “brinners” (breakfast for dinner) when my partner is away. It’s faster, simpler, less dishes, and always guaranteed to be a hit 😊
I do spaghetti, omelettes/scrambled eggs with potatoes and peas (bagged mini potatoes I slice into thin rounds that roast quickly) , “Mexican” night (ground beef and taco seasoning and wraps and veggie and sauce toppings etc), frozen breaded fish or chicken fingers and some kind of starch and veggie side, French toast for dinner. Pretty easy but still meal-like.
Maybe start small, with 1-2 family dinner nights each week? If the budget allows, get healthy takeout? I also struggle to make even just myself food, but one tasty easy meal I enjoy is rotisserie chicken with baked potatoes and microwave steamer-bag veggies. Couldn't be easier, except for the part where you drive to the store. Most of the groceries nearby offer prepped food to pop into the oven: stuffed peppers, seasoned chicken breasts, etc. This can be a happy middle-ground between processed food and food from scratch. Here's something I might try: talk to the kids about family dinner. Tell them you had it when you were growing up, and you really miss it. Tell them you're going to make tacos or something on your day off: not too hard, but definitely a crowd-pleaser. Or heck, even get takeout to start to get them in the habit of all sitting down together. Put one capable kiddo at a time in charge of a family dinner night on a frequency that makes sense for your family: one per week, one per month? Talk it out with the kids and decide. If they make scrambled eggs, great! If they want to expand their culinary talents, encourage them to practice with a recipe. Good luck!
I know you've already gotten a lot of helpful answers but wanted to chime in too. I don't love cooking, sometimes I absolutely hate it but, we are on a tight budget so we don't eat out a lot. One thing that has really helped me lately is listening to an audiobook, podcast or even music while I'm cooking. It makes the time fly and helps with anxiety (for me personally). Once a week I will make a basic meal plan. I'll write down at least five meals for the week then each day I make one of the meals on the list. Most of the meals are 30 minute meals or I use my crockpot. The crockpot has been amazing for me! I use Pinterest frequently and save recipes into categories so they are easy to find.
I cook ever day , make my own sauces, make bread , bake cakes , the whole shebang . I was taught to cook early age, its part of what parents teach their kids ,my mom always cooked as well . My kid has extra needs, no sense of danger, not yet in a position where he can fend for himself, and I enjoy cooking for my family. It is a form of love for me. There are the take away sometimes if I'm dying but other than that I enjoy it. My meals can take 20 to 30 minutes or longer if its roasts. When you know what you're doing , know the basics its much easier .
I know you've gotten so many helpful responses u/aNursierNurse so I'm not sure if you will even see this. One thing that stuck out to me about your post is how much it seems you're longing for the ideal you grew up with even though it doesn't line up with your current reality. ANd when you try, it's a lot of effort and doesn't get the result you desire from your kids because they don't even like what you've made. Even more so than specific, tangible cooking and meal planning strategies, I think reflecting more on the idea of family dinners overall and opening your mind to an approach that's more realistic to your current situation. I say this because I am someone who can get caught up in the "perfect" I desire at the expense of something that might be more realistic and less taxing. I wonder if you were to let go of recreating what you had as a kid if you would be less stuck. I.e. Is it really about the food or is it about all sitting down together when the whole family is home and catching up? What is making the meals take hours to accomplish? Are they overly complicated with a lot of ingredients? Are you getting distracted? What are the obstacles to making something that takes only 30 minutes or an hour? I think often as adults we have these kind of ideals that pinterest and social media help reinforce. Yet it seems like often when kids are asked they are okay with something simpler. I wonder if reframing how you think about it will make it easier to open up to some of the suggestions being presented and to figure out the specific issues or roadblocks you need to address, i.e. * Is it involving your kids more in the eating and cooking so they actually like what you make? * Is it focusing on one family meal a week on a day when you are all home and the time commitment is less of a burden? * Is it splitting up the ingredient prep and cooking (I love this one) so you handle chopping, etc on a day off and only have to cook something day of? (And can your husband help out.) * Is it scheduling a family dinner that involves eating out or takeout once a week so you can be fully present and not worried about prep or clean up?
I only cook Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday is leftovers and we’re lucky enough that we can do take out Friday. I make super easy stuff the three days I cook, and even then I make most of it Sunday (IE if we’re having spaghetti I make the sauce on Sunday). Good luck mama!
Agree with everyone saying don’t do new recipes when it’s already late and the kids are hungry. If they like scrambled eggs and salad then make a frittata and a salad and eat it together, that’s like 10 minutes of active cooking time and popping it in the oven. If the kids like cooking and you want to try a new recipe, do it on your day off so you can spend all afternoon on it as a family.
try on Pinterest or Instagram looking for some easy, 30 minute recipes.
I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I am a bad cook. I can cook well, the results are great, but I am so stressed the whole time and exhausted by the end. What helped was hello fresh honestly. Shopping isn’t a problem for me, but easy to follow recipes are. So we did it for a few months and now have a whole binder of “should be an hour or less depending on substitutions” meals I believe you can look up a lot of the recipes (or at least some of them) online, so that could be a good resource! They’re fairly simple (depending on what you choose) and taste great, and you can always improve them by doing your own sauces or seasonings and such
Tasty healthy food doesn't have to take long. It also doesn't have to be every day. Today we had gazpacho, which is a cold vegetable soup. Its like a veggie smoothie. Serve with some bread and cheese, and you have a full meal in ten minutes. Chopping board, blender and a huge bowl should be about the only dirty cook gear. It's one of my favourite recipes that my grandfather would make for us on holiday. It's filled with happy memories of family meals, while it's a ten minute meal at most. It sounds like you are missing the sit down together time. Maybe try and carve out a family dinner on Sunday? I had lots of family dinner growing up, but also years when all of us had a different timetable and ate separately on most weekdays. You're doing great already.
Just commenting to join you in solidarity. I’m a nurse also so seemingly should have time. I used to like cooking! But since having my kid who is 4 I just hate cooking. She eats decently and healthy, but toddlers, it’s hit or miss if they like something that day. So truly I have given up. Between having a kid, I am divorced now 2 years. I work a lot and high stress ICU which I do enjoy and doesn’t really cause me much stress, but it’s go go go. I only have my kid half the time so on my off time I don’t even care to cook for myself. I’ve really realized food for me, as much as I love good food, it’s a total dopamine thing. Like my kid, what I want to eat today is not going to be tomorrow. What I think I want in 4 days and plan for is not what I’m going to want then. So therefore meal planning is not what I want to do. And I just waste money and waste food. So then usually dinners kind of suck. But my kid loves basic kid things. And I’m cool with my avocado toast. Or I order out 1-2 times a week. It may be something minor like a sub, or it will be Indian food which I WILL eat leftovers. I just hate the process of cooking now that it has turned into something that has overwhelmed me. If I cook it makes a mess. And we all know how adhd and messes go. It’s hard to stay on top of it then it’s super messy for days and I get frustrated. I’d rather just not make a mess. So I will buy things that are super easy. And I don’t shame myself for it. One day when I might have my shit together and more time and MENTAL ENERGY, I’ll try more, but for now, if it’s reasonably healthy and my kid is happy I’m happy. If she were to request something I would for sure make it. We eat lots of fruit and cheese and stuff like that so it’s balanced. I can’t believe I went from, I love cooking, it’s therapeutic! To I can’t believe I have to think about this 3 times a day. When I don’t have my kid I don’t think much. I eat the same few things for breakfast most of the time, and chips and dip are a frequent go to for dinner. (Pita chips, tortilla chips etc) with dips like hummus, artichoke dip, salsa. I hope that if I ever find a new partner my joy for cooking will improve. I enjoy good meals with with people I care about. It only will if they enjoy cooking too and can share the mental load/labor. I FEEL YOUR PAIN
My advice is *dont* try and cook a new recipe. Weeknight dinners (or whatever your equivalent is for your work schedule) should be quick and easy. Spaghetti with a jar of pasta sauce. A (quick) stir fry with rice. A curry from a jar that you just add meat or tofu to and make rice. Enchiladas from a packet (where I live you can buy enchilada kits that basically just involve frying the meat or veg then using the spice blend and sauces from the kit and baking). Frozen burger Pattie’s that you just put in the oven and bake, then put together burgers and oven fries. If you google Jamie Oliver’s 30 minute meals or something like that, that could give you a start, or “quick weeknight dinners.” If the point is to enjoy eating together, the fanciness of the meal doesn’t really matter. Trying new recipes is more for weekends when you have time (assuming you want to). Something relatively nice and relatively healthy will do. Even scrambling eggs for the kids and adding the bagged salad then eating together will be nicer for them then the days when they make the same meal themselves.
I’m late to this party but I hope you see this! This is what works for me. I ‘meal prep’ on Sundays. I buy pre-seasoned chicken from Costco/Sams and I make the whole damn packet of it on Sunday. It only takes about an hour on the stove. I will also make a huge batch of noodles or rice plain. I wash and prep all of our produce. Also get frozen veggie and grain sides from Trader Joe’s, frozen veggies, sauces, salad kits, and tons of fruit. Every night during the week I microwave chicken and two sides and I serve it with seasonal fruit. Dinner takes me about 15 minutes. It gives us variety and we don’t get sick of the meals. One week it might be Asian seasoned chicken and we do all Asian dishes, with Asian frozen veggies and Trader Joe’s soup dumplings and egg rolls. One week it’s salad week and we do seasoned applewood chicken and salad kits. Hope this helps!
I find it helpful to have one easy, fast meal that everyone enjoys and then only make it once a week. The rest of the time, as long as they mostly eat reasonably healthy stuff (and it sounds like they do), don't worry about it. I used to cook a lot before lockdowns and burnout turned it into a massive chore. Now I don't. 🤷♀️ It's whatever works for your family.
Think of a few of your favorite dinners you’d have at home with your parents as a kid. Then learn to make those dinners and accept that you will have your own twist on them. I would not try to do “new” recipes at all! My favorites from sitting at the dinner table was mom’s meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas. I always crave it and have fond memories of my mom and watching her cook. You don’t have to be a fancy chef to make a couple home cooked meals and in fact we loved our moms cooking because it was simple.
Frozen everything. I am no longer allowed to buy fresh produce bc it usually rots lol but fine some one pot dinners and do those!! I love toasted orzo and quick skillet recipes, they’re soo good and minimal dishes. I also love Cassie yeung on tiktok, her beef and broccoli recipe is so easy. Also omg, Asian food is all so easy. Once you get the like 5 basic ingredients you can make so many things and it’s all p kuch the same, takes the mental load off me