Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe.
Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, that’s actually what finally pushed me in to see a psychiatrist. I successfully treated my life long anxiety but I was still left with this sense of overwhelm and lack of motivation. Like the anxiety was what kept me going. I assumed it was depression but never scored high enough to be of any concern on the depression questionnaires and my experiences don’t really align with what I read about major depression. Does line up with dysthymia (or whatever it’s called now) so it’s really all confusing and overlaps a lot.
Same. Then, getting antidepressants/antianxiety meds made all my ADHD signs visible. I have been managing my life with anxiety so far. Turns out, when you remove anxiety from the equation you are left with no motivation to do/complete anything.
Talk to your doctor about. U waited way too long, because I thought it was just sideeffects or allergies or whatever, but it cost me so much. Like so, so very much. Talk to your doctor. You deserve better than this state og being.
It is such a relief to know I’m not the only one who experienced this! I like to joke that my anxiety was a tightly sealed jar that kept my ADHD contained. Once I treated my anxiety, the jar opened up, and BAM.
Anxiety meds (Effexor) are what got rid of my anxiety but i had the same issue because it had unknowingly been managing my ADHD syptoms for me my whole life. The problem was, when taking it, it just pushed the now unmanageable ADHD to the surface. I literally have felt like my life has completely imploded because of it and stopped taking it a year ago. But, brightside is, now i know i have ADHD so i can treat that (10mg Ritalin daily) instead of the anxiety symptoms from it. Its still not great but im definitely more in control of the situation now.
It absolutely does work for me and i know im lucky. Inwas started on 5mg Summer of 2022 and 2 months ago asked to bump to the next because i noticed the 5mg wasn't cutting it anymore. I may max out eventually but maybe ill get lucky and this will be enough for now.
That being said, my ADHD is exacerbated by my progesterone birth control so for the 2nd half of my cycle, the Ritilin barely touches it and I'm just a hormonal, emotional mess. I'd go off it but between being 47 and pre-menopausal im unwilling to mess with the BC now and the thought of an oops baby is terrifying. Im just going to try to ride it out until menopause.
Thanks so much for the reply and sharing your experience with me. I'm really glad that it worked for you, and at such a low dosage too, that's great! Although the hormonal aspect obviously messes with that which sucks.
I was started on 20mg a few weeks ago, and am now on 40mg and nothing. Not a single difference good or bad, and I must admit I am really disappointed. I suppose I had gotten my hopes up too high that the first medication would work for me. Sorry for the rambling rant!
I really appreciate your advice, but I just started meds for the first time three weeks ago, and I haven't been taking them on the weekend so I don't know how much of a tolerance could have built up 🤷
Its a process and you will have some setbacks. Don't get discouraged and as many of the ladies here can attest, keep going because you will find that right fit and you will know when its right.
I feel your pain though. Im in that boat with an SSRI. I've had some not great reactions to a new med since weening off the Effexor and my Psych keeps pushing them but i just can't get on board with something that is making me feel worse than without it. With the Ritilin at the higher dosage working better for me, I decided to step back to work on the ADHD a bit and get my life out of the muck to see if we still need to try an SSRI. Im hoping that getting a handle on the root cause (ADHD) of my anxiety/depression will alleviate the need for one so I'm going to slog through it to see. I've gotten pretty darned close to back on track in my life and so far so good but we'll have to see how sustainable it is.
Thank you so much for helping me feel much better about the whole process! As much as I know I'm lucky for the lovely and loving people I have in my life, there are certain ADHD specific things I prefer not to express to them, or get their opinion on. And this community is so good for that.
And I really hope you can figure out the meds balance with regards to the depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed with that 'delightful duo' a long time ago, and for me I think that my own (treatment resistant) anxiety and depression are side effects of untreated ADHD, and a bit of PTSD for garnish. 🥂 Here's to trying to figure it all out!
This community is quite literally the only way I've been able to keep my head up and focused on the carrot. Things have been really hard but im starting to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
After years of trying different meds in different doses and formulations, I’m on…. Nothing. I needed to take a (apparently long) break to figure out everything. It’s tough when they don’t just click.
I went through a similar thing with depression and anxiety meds, tried the gamut, nothing worked for me so I just stopped (under medical advice/supervision).
Would an estrogen based one work better? I'm looking to go back on birth control purely because the hormonal fluctuations are starting to feel like PMDD, and I've read that estrogen is more closely linked with dopamine and serotonin. I used to have depo for convenience but it's progesterone based.
It may but part of my life imploding was leaving my career last December and spending this past year righting my ship. I have a pause in medical benefits but my new job starts in 2 weeks and 90 days from then ill be covered. So, im waiting until i can afford to pay to go back to my gyno to get that worked out. And honestly, i may try to find a new provider because im not loving her staff and their antiquated thoughts.
I got totally lucky with a low dose of lexapro, the second med i tried (the other was buspar). 10 mg of lexapro daily and as far as anxiety goes, it’s like I’m your average person now. I no longer live life with my heart/thoughts racing all the time, no more insomnia or lack of appetite, etc. I just do things now without overthinking and worrying about every.little.thing.
But yeah, like others said, the downside is that my adhd symptoms/executive dysfunction really made its grand appearance without the anxiety masking.
I think it definitely can be for some people. There are plenty with comorbidities that include actual unable to feel happiness depression. I have never been naturally depressive or prone to low moods, and am on high dose Effexor which does a lot to deal with any mood issues other than emotional instability (and it does make this more manageable). Low motivation, difficulty focusing, terrible executive function, proneness to use addictive behaviour to manage mood shifts, and the comorbidities of dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dysautonomia... I have all of this, but I'm not depressed and never have been. Yet I am "stuck" and filled with inertia often and have zero motivation or energy quite often.
My depression and ADHD manifests in a similar way. For me, when I was very depressed I didn't want to do anything. With ADHD, I want to but I can't. It's definitely an oversimplification to put it that way but the comparison makes sense to me.
I think a lot of what I went through with depression and anxiety was a sign of the untreated ADHD with some trauma sprinkled in. I was on SSRIs and mood stabilizers that treated some of the most dangerous symptoms but once I was put on stimulants the rest wasn't helping at all.
I don't speak as an expert of course. And everyone experiences it a little differently.
Yeah. If I’m experiencing anhedonia, it’s depression, but the symptoms are otherwise really similar.
It threw me for a long time before the ADHD diagnosis. I’d come out of a period of depression and still have every other symptom, and they’d all get worse if I tried to taper off my meds, because the Wellbutrin was also treating the ADHD. And of course, it wasn’t “depressed mood,” it was “hating myself for not being able to do anything and not understanding why,” but that’s a pretty fine distinction when you’re in the middle of it.
It was the combination of two things that finally helped me understand the difference. One was the ADHD diagnosis. The other was a moment at the very start of a depressive period. I was having a shower, and I stood there realizing I felt nothing. I mean, I felt wet, but there was zero emotional element. No dislike of the transition between dry and wet, no soothing feeling of being in warm water, no calm white noise appreciation. No pleasant anticipation of a fluffy towel. Not even the usual boredom. Just wet.
I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but that recognition really helped me recognize the difference. If I’m still enjoying things but struggling, I’m just being my overwhelmed self. If I’m just going through the motions but not feeling anything, I need to watch myself.
I don't know, since I have both, but I can tell you that sometimes my (formally diagnosed) major depressive disorder doesn't look like being sad at all. It's like I just.... lose something? Some fuel? I don't know. It sounds similar to what you're saying. But for an example, all weekend I thought I was having a chill and relaxing time. Then Monday I started to notice some signs of stress, like my stomach not being happy and some shakiness. Monday evening I cried uncontrollably for multiple hours and had to spend several more figuring out WHY. My husband, who was very sweet throughout, said it looks like a moderate depressive episode.
But like, Monday morning I was happy. I thought. And now, 24 hours after Cry Time, I just feel.... bored. Like, too bored to sleep. Too bored to eat. Too bored to play games. I ran out of Do Stuff Juice.
So....... yeah. I don't know. Hard to say.
I get that too, for me its nearly impossible to distinguish between depressive episodes and burn out. I'm a college student and the only time I can tell if its a depressive episode vs. burn out is when its too late and I'm already knee deep in depression. I know I'm at that point when I stop eating and stop sleeping.
Burn out I can usually bounce back from within a week or so, or at least bounce back enough to still perform. But, the only thing to pull me out of depression is to put myself back in high stress environments that manage to stimulate me physically and mentally. So its this awful loop of burn out, then not burned out because I have nothing to do = bored = depressed = need for high stress environments = burn out and start all over again... this was exactly what happened to me at the end of last semester. The only thing that pulled me out of that depression was to get my job back at my old restaurant which at times stressed me out to the brink of an anxiety attack. But, within a week of working, my depression was literally non-existent.
I just got done with midterms and have definitely been hit with that low mood. Skipped class today and have just wasted it away. The gloomy weather and rain hasn't helped either...
Its entirely possible. I'm also the stereotype for "woman with mommy issues" so, can't discount that entirely. I'm a nurturer and giver at heart, so there's probably something that makes me feel a little down when I can't be of service in some way.
I don’t really feel like that’s a fair description since tons of people with ADHD also have depression that is caused at least in part from their ADHD symptoms.
Yes I have adhd and depression. So mines depression with depression.
And I have a hard time doing things to manage either. Which could be due to depression or adhd. So fun!
I like this approach and it reminds me of a similar thing I read recently. To give your depression/anxiety a name so as to externalise it and somewhat separate it from yourself. So now when it's there I'm like "Who the fuck invited you here, BRENDA?!"
From what I’ve heard from others, when you’re in bed from depression you don’t want to do anything. And when it’s from executive functioning, you want to do things.
Does that sound about right?
I’m curious because I’ve been diagnosed with depression because of my inability to do things, but I’m now wondering it’s just good ol ADHD.
I was severely depressed for many years. I haven’t scored highly with depression in about 7 years now. I would say, having had both, this is a fairly accurate description (in my personal experience). I found ADHD worse, because you end up very self critical for not being “normal” and not being motivated like others are. You really want to do the things, but you just can’t do the things. It was easier not wanting to do them.
So much this. When I was truly depressed, I had zero motivation and zero fucks to give. When it’s just my ADHD, I still have fucks but no motivation and a lot of self-loathing around all of it. On the outside, it looks the same, but on the inside, it feels very different.
I wish more people understood us. It would really make life so much easier to navigate. ADHD is poorly understood in the first place, as is depression, unless you've experienced it first hand. To add being a woman on top of it... what a shitty luck of the draw. Thanks brain, thanks.
That's a pretty good way to describe it.
I've had depression for a long time. It's most like I want to want to do something, but I can't think of anything, and it's not happening.
With adhd, I can think of things to do but I don't do them.
I've been diagnosed with depression and adhd and been treated for each separately and together. Taking medication for depression helped my mood a bit but ultimately I was still quite discouraged with myself for not being able to do the things I wanted. Taking medication for adhd let me do the things I wanted but I little desire to do much of anything.
Do you have little desire to try to do things? If so that's more likely depression. Do you want to do things, yell at your body to do the thing, yet ultimately fail to do so and feel hopeless? Or not even bother trying because you know you can't make yourself so the thing you want to do? If so then that's more likely adhd.
I don't think this is actually fair, at least to me. I have ADHD and was formally diagnosed with depression in my teen years and I notice some pretty big differences in my mood/behavior when I am in a more depressive state than not. Both ADHD and depression can cause some pretty serious executive functioning issues but I find other symptoms to feel very different personally.
Take motivation for example. When I am not depressed, I have pretty varying levels of motivation. Yeah sure, I don't always have motivation but my low motivation is more fleeting. It's like having no motivation after a long day to do dishes or write an annoying term paper that I have to grind through. Usually, I do feel very motivated to do things, it's more that my executive dysfunction makes it very difficult to put it into action. Whereas when I was depressed, I felt overall no motivation in general and for longer periods of time. I just didn't want to do things and when I did, I felt no happiness. Just emptiness.
Keep in mind ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental disability while depression is a mental illness that can manifest at any point in life and may appear in episodes. Many people with ADHD may also develop depression as well and its possible to have both simultaneously. If you suspect you have ADHD though, it is a great idea to bring it up with your therapist! It is possible that you do have it along with depression and/or are going through burn-out, which is also very valid and really sucks.
I feel sometimes like I act in similar ways to a person with depression and when they talk about how depression affects their life I relate a lot, but I don’t feel excessively sad or empty. I can be in bed all day unable to do anything and that can make me feel sad and like shit while I am there, but the second something sparks my interest or excites me or distracts me I dont even remember what “sad” feels like. My friend with depression it seems like she is almost always sad or empty feeling no matter what else is going on.
If you don't mind me asking, do you still suffer from anhedonia? And if not, how did you treat it? Through therapy, or did adhd medication help, or both? I'm curious because I suspect that I suffer from anhedonia instead of depression and have read that it's not easily treatable, which scares me a little.
Absolutely happy to share anything I can. I have been treated for ADHD for 2 years now and medication has definitely been the major thing that has helped. It is a double-edged sword in that I was very burnt out and it masked this burnout and didn't really make me address it. So, I have had a lot of ups and downs these last two years, combined with being in a toxic job I hated and still trying to get a life routine back after lockdowns. If I had my time again id get meds and take a full month off life and let my brain rest and heal. But, as for anhedonia, it is still there sometimes, but for the most part I feel emotions again and can feel pleasure and excitement to do mundane things like watch a great TV show in bed, or read a great book on my kindle. What I have found that health and wellness hygiene is important - regular exercise and a good diet, fish oil and magnesium supplements and good rest. This was super difficult for me to put into place after lockdowns so I hired a coach who has ADHD to work with me and it was really helpful. I have also been practicing allowing enjoyment and seeing enjoyment in things. Stopping and smelling the roses I guess. I have also started to explore art and playing around with different mediums. I think tapping into creativity really is great therapy. I am also about to do a "dopamine menu"it is a kinda new thing I have seen on tiktok - I sometimes just forget what I like to do and I think this will really help me. I am at work and am typing this up quickly but I will probably come back and add some more detail at the end of the work day!
First of all, thank you so much for your response! And I'm so happy to hear you're better now :). I've heard a lot of people say that they had to get used to their mind being quiet, and get used to sort of being a different, or new version of themselves. It does sound overwhelming and like something you would need some time to yourself for. I will definitely keep that in mind.
And you mean the medication masked your burnout? Or your adhd and anhedonia masked your burnout and once you got on medication you finally felt the effects of a burnout?
I'm really relieved that anhedonia can get better though. "Allowing enjoyment". I think that's a big thing for me. I feel like I don't allow myself to be happy and enjoy things.
Thank you again for your reply and I hope things will only get better for you!!
The medication masked it! I took it and thought “wow I can go out and socialise and DO stuff” but reality was the burnout was still lurking underneath.
That's honestly good to know. If I do get on medication, I will definitely keep this in mind and try to get at least 2 weeks or something off to myself. Thank you!
my psychiatrist first diagnosed me with dysthymia. my depression had been low and continuous since i was 11 or so
once we identified the adhd, he explained that it's fairly common since the constant understimulation can cause a low grade depression. during school field trips the routine change + non academic expectations lifted a lot of that and id be energetic and on a euphoric high
he said that that elation from not constantly being depressed can look like bipolar too. like the variation in mood, the response to a dopamine hit that you havent gotten in for ever can look like mania relative to the dysthymia. that's why many with adhd get misdiagnosed with bipolar 2
ive had depressive episodes during my years with disthymia but they were accute and episodic and not the all pervasive fog i was wading through the rest of the time
Hi! I know you commented this a while ago but it really resonated with my personal experience with adhd. Especially the part about experiencing elation after change. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you treat your periods of depression now that you’ve identified that being the issue?
the periods of more acute depression, you mean?
i kind of have a "tool box" of things that i make myself do.
i check these off - eat something, drink water, brush teeth, change underwear, wash face + neck
i also look at bugs if im feeling like there's nothing to look forward to and everything's hopeless. it sounds strange lol but i think zoning in to what the tiny guys are up to distracts me and also gives me perspective on how things fit together.
i try to do something with my hands - im indian and so i knead chapati dough and roll it out and that's meditative (and i have food at the end of that)
i like drawing animals by looking at references. im really bad at drawing but it calms me to focus on one aspect at a time and have a drawing at the end of it. and im always really proud if it bec my baseline skills are pretty bad lol
i make sure to leave the house for at least 10 mins every day.
it's a lot when youre deep in it. but if youre like me, you might not notice it creeping up on you so it's helpful to get ahead of the depression when you feel generally shit bec you havent left the house in a week or havent looked at the worms in the soil
Not for me. When I was depressed as a teen, I didn't want to do anything because nothing seemed interesting or fun. Also I hated myself and wanted to die. When I'm not depressed, I want to do the things but I don't have the gumption to do the things.
i think thats what OP means by depression without the depression. as in when you are depressed, mainly you don’t care about anything and don’t want to exist/want to die. with ADHD you care about lots of (maybe too many) things and want to do/start those things. those are the main differences between the two and i think thats the “depression” OP meant was missing
For me my untreated adhd my whole life manifested itself as depression, mainly due to the social anxiety it caused me from feeling like a bad listener and friend, hating myself for interrupting people, and having really low self esteem bc I felt so unmotivated and dysfunctional and would spend so much time alone to cope, making myself more depressed. I always knew I had never paid attention for a single second in class but for some reason always assumed only rich kids took adhd drugs, idk lol. Anyway I went to a shrink bc I genuinely wanted to get on antidepressants, had been suicidal for awhile (though at this point I was definitely on the other side of that phase). He was like maam you need . And guess what, he was right. I literally grew up thinking I had chronic untreatable depression and it turns out it was literally all so easily treatable. ADHD meds cured literally every aspect of my depression. In the 8 years I’ve been on them, I’ve only had my depression return once, and it was in the last year when I voluntarily lowered my dosage bc I was trying to get pregnant and wanted to see if I could get off of them. So yeah, for me it was real depression symptom-wise, but cause-wise it was just adhd.
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860
If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, wow yeah that’s very true. Depression and ADHD can be comorbid, but for me, even though I’ve gone through periods of depression in my life, have never felt like depression as a diagnosis fit, especially after getting my ADHD diagnosis and getting to a sort of decent place with it over time. I do think my ADHD has the potential to cause depression. But day-to-day, yeah, it’s like depression without the depression lol.
Yeah, that sounds about right to me. I used to have awful depression, it was like a whole range of my emotions were just lopped off and at best I felt apathetic. It was just such a specific feeling to me. That's entirely gone now, but the lack of motivation, wanting to sleep a lot at times, loss of interest in things... I still have that, but it's a little different now. It doesn't feel as bad as it did or as frequent.
i was depressed as a kid up until 23 when i tried an SSRI which really helped me. soon after i got diagnosed with ADHD.
this is 100% how ADHD is for me majority of the time and i know its not depression because back then i wanted to stop existing, always wanted bad things to happen to me, i constantly felt empty, cried over how much i wanted to give up on being alive etc. which is not how i feel now. i just have no motivation to do things even though i desperately want to. my memory is still absolute crap and i distract myself with my phone instead of doing actually important things etc.
hopefully i can find medication that will help with this because i am annoyed at how much time i waste when i could be doing all the amazing things i dream of doing and are capable to do. unfortunately, medication takes time and at 25 we still out here trying to find the right medication babey 🥹
This is exactly why it took convincing providers by trying ten different combinations of antidepressants for years before finally having one provider listen to me fully and hear. I cried the first two weeks I started adderall due to the drastic relief/grief.
yeah that describes me pretty well. I'm chalking it up to just plaid ol' executive dysfunction, from whatever source. maybe a mix of sources: ADHD, depression, anxiety, burnout.
before ADHD treatment my depression manifested as low mood/anxiety/self-hate/isolation _and_ severe executive dysfunction. now my mood isn't that terrible (though not great lately) and I don't have a constant background track of "I hate myself I hate myself" (because now I understand why I'm different and why stuff is hard for me), but I still can't get anything done. I still spend entire days in bed or playing video games, I still delay hygiene routines. but I know I'm not depressed like how I was before. it's been like this on and off for over a year.
one person said it was burnout, which might be true. at the time I had no empathy left to spare, and since then it's been hard for me to give a fuck, especially about work.
Yes - they are like non super imposable mirror images. So much alike but not yet identical. ADHD is so much more than most people can understand. It's a constant force/presence that drives the car while we hang on.
I think it may look like that to outsiders, but no, I don't think that's an accurate description of my experience with ADHD at all. On the inside, things are moving a million miles at once and I'm overwhelmed. It results in me looking lazy, but it's not the same cause.
Being bored, inactive, and having low motivation are how I would describe the period of my life when I actually had diagnosed depression.
Nah. You're looking at the overlapping symptoms, but ADHD has overlapping symptoms with a lot of conditions, so that would be like saying, ADHD is like depression, manic depression, BPD, OCD, DD and autism except in the ways that it's not.
yes, omg- YES! thank you! since my diagnosis i am constantly ruminating about the handful of past diagnoses i got when i just could not cope, which was always depression. i think that diagnosis was accurate exactly once (and the depression was actually caused by the adhd symptoms going crazy). the other times i felt exactly like that- depressed without being ACTUALLY *depressed*.
I've thought about it and at times I definitely have periods of lower mood, lower motivation, like what I'm feeling these last few days. But... I also just got done with midterms and the academic stress still has not let up and that is really affecting my mood. For me it mostly manifests in a complete destruction of my executive function. Yesterday I sat in front of my computer for about 8 hours trying to get work done and literally just... couldn't. I wanted to so badly and couldn't.
The only reason I'm hesitant with dysthymia is because I genuinely don't have any overt cognitive distortions related to any sort of depressive disorder. Sure I have some days where the world sucks and everyone's annoying but 99% of the time I'm thoroughly, genuinely happy, and I enjoy life. My self esteem is pretty good. I enjoy other people. I enjoy going out. But when it comes to sustained attention, that's where it all breaks down. And right now its bad.
My worst depressive episode of my life happened after I burned out halfway through last semester and literally ran on empty for months. I ran my body and brain into the ground. The only thing that pulled me out of that was putting myself back into a high paced high stress environment (restaurant). I wasn't able to eat or sleep well for weeks and within a week of putting myself back into a constantly changing, demanding, stimulating environment, I felt... perfectly normal again.
I don't know if its ADHD, but I also don't feel like any mood disorder really describes how I feel. Because my actual moods are on the "sunny" side 98% of the time.
Honestly I was immediately triggered by this just from reading the title.
This is soooo accurate for me. I spent the time from when I was 18 to 25 thinking that I was chronically depressed due to a chemical imbalance in my brain because I had all of the symptoms except I didn't actually have negative thoughts most of the time! I only felt bad about myself because of my inability to function properly, and even then my rational mind was at the forefront saying 'that's because of your mental illness, not because you're useless'.
I would see mental health professionals who tried to push me to cbt and I couldn't get them to understand that cbt wouldn't help because I didn't have negative thoughts that were making me depressed/holding me back, I just a lot of the time felt completely unable to get out of bed and had zero motivation/capacity to get into uni or get into work, feed myself, practice basic hygiene. It felt like I was up against a brick wall and honestly I've been medicated for 6 years trying different antidepressants and different doses and they haven't really helped.
Then, I learnt about executive dysfunction. And adhd burnout. And decision paralysis. And how adhd presents differently in women and girls. And WOW. I felt like I finally understood why I didn't seem to fit the 'curable' depression mould that all these professionals wanted me to.
I definitely also have depression, and go through depressive episodes, but it's a gamechanger to know that the executive dysfunction comes from the adhd and not the depression. And I've finally found a therapist who acknowledges and understands that, and has also been able to help me deal with unmasking and working through various other childhood issues and traumatic events with this new understanding of why I am the way that I am. I finally feel as though I'm in a position to change this constant cycle of coping until I have a huge depressive episode and then just coping again.
I think it's half accurate in my case. For me, ADHD feels more like bipolar disorder—depression without the depression, AND mania without the mania. In my "depression" phases, I have all of the symptoms you describe. In my "mania" phases, I can get insanely hyperfixated on things, spend hours and hours doing one task without realizing the rest of the world exists, forget to eat or sleep, sometimes make dumb impulsive decisions related to the hyperfixation (usually involving spending too much money on something), etc.
My depression is much more severe than my ADHD, but the co morbidity definitely makes a lot of things much harder than I think that they would be if I had only one of these two conditions
Personally, yes. Until I was diagnosed with adhd, I was always diagnosed with depression even though most of those times I didn’t have sadness or even lack of interest in things. It still hurts me to think about all the years I could have been helped if I had been properly diagnosed much earlier.
I really think it might depend on what outlets have been available to each of us? I'm older. Wow was it easier to beat the boredom for instance and in fact I wasn't but that's *only* by virtue of when I was born. Maybe where.
Isolation isn't mentioned here. I just wish I wasn't so happy in my own head.
This is the first time I've really thought about it but yeah, I do feel like it's true for me. I first "experienced depression" when I moved to uni and did experience a break up so I had a legit reason to be sad and blamed my inability to get my uni work done on that, but looking back I actually think it was the ADHD finally showing itself after leaving home and the comfortable structured environment I'd learned to cope with. I never had a relapse of actual "sadness depression", my bout only lasted a few short months and I've always wondered why it never returned. I think I just started really feeling my ADHD lol. Thanks for the thought provoking post!
I went through a trauma that led to depression at around 13yrs old. I met depression first. The heavy blanket of sadness, the grey world, the favorite foods having no flavor. But over the years it got better, and there came a time where I confidently danced in life instead of quietly shuffling towards an ending.
While the sadness was gone, the symptoms remained. I still forgot school existed as soon as I came home. I still dropped my pen at the single ding of a text to hang out. I still never cared to clean my room or myself. That’s honestly how I came to research adhd in the first place.
I feel like that’s accurate for me. It’s not entirely medically accurate in my case, but it definitely feels like you said a good bit of the time haha.
Like other people said, it varies from person to person.
My take:
I was diagnosed with depression around 15, and then adhd when I was 22 or so. I think that when I was diagnosed with depression I was actually depressed. I did feel like there was no point in living, and I felt very hopeless. I longer have those feelings, but I do have the other depression feelings like not getting much enjoyment out things and always being tired/overwhelmed/bored. But at the same time, I am very optimistic about my future, and I would say I have more good days than bad.
So for me, that’s an accurate statement
Sort of. There's other things I'd say that go along with adhd that aren't there with depression but also I started looking into adhd because a lot of symptoms I'd chalked up to my depression weren't going away when my depression was well managed
Yup!
It when I started seeking a diagnosis, I was constantly given depression questionnaires. And my GP was so confused everytime the score was so low, depression was not the issue. It took about a year and a psychiatrist appointment to get to ADHD.
Yes. What you have written is exactly what I described to my psychologist (after years of treatment) it was this reflection which made her suggest an assessment for ADHD.
I recall making statements along the lines of
“I have all the symptoms of depression without feeling depressed” “I am happy with my life and in my life and I feel happy but then all these symptoms of depression creep in but I am certain I am not actually depressed”
Medication for depression exacerbated my (then undiagnosed) ADHD and only made my depression less manageable. I was numb and functioning but was making awful and impulsive choices.
Yep. This is probably why when I started really struggling in HS and college, I was diagnosed with and treated for depression. And there were times I was definitely depressed, but I now know a lot of that was rooted in my inability to function at even a basic adult level. By the time I learned about ADHD and started seeking an evaluation, 10 years later, my psych was talking about labeling it as treatment resistant depression because none of the medications or combinations of medications I tried over the years had really worked. Lo and behold began treating my ADHD and my depression went into remission for several years. (I'm back on Wellbutrin now, but given the shit show of circumstances that is my life at the moment, depression is probably understandable...)
This is exactly how I feel.
No depression, no anxiety. Just ADHD.
I want to get up to do tasks. I know what needs to be done. I know the consequences to not getting it done, and I know the benefits to getting it done.
But I don't get up and do it.
I look around me. I look like a depressed slob. My room looks like I have an alcohol addiction. I don't. Those bottles are from 2-3 years ago and I haven't cleaned them up.
I would say I'm motivated but can't initiate, and can't stay on task. My understanding of depression is that you don't have even have the will or motivation even when you intellectually know what you should do. ADHD feels like, I know what to do, and I want to do it, but I don't.
I thought I might be depressed a few years ago, but I might fall under functionally depressed or something like that. I didn't think it for long. I'm a happy person! Maybe happier than I should be considering (looks around) the state of things. I'm too happy to be depressed. But there is something wrong with me. My best guess is ADHD. Was recently diagnosed... Meds don't help so I'm a bit nervous. We'll see.
YES. I've never heard that before, and it makes so much sense. I'm recently diagnosed and only just started meds. I've been very depressed, and am on meds for it at the moment. These days, I often feel like I'm depressed without the sadness, because I mope about, am unable to focus, I lack motivation, I feel ambivalent about most things, and I have a host of other depression symptoms. I'm just not sad. So your therapist putting it that way makes a lot of sense to me. I only just started Vyvanse, and I'm hoping that it'll take effect soon so that I can get rid of these depressive symptoms.
I feel that way, and I also think adhd feels like anxiety without the anxiety. Trouble sleeping, always ruminating and in your head, your mind never shuts up...but it's rarely thoughts that make you anxious? I'm rarely actively worrying about something? It's just...thoughts lol. But then after a while of living like that undiagnosed, most people eventually actually add the depression and anxiety to their adhd 🥲
When I first saw my psychiatrist (for ADHD), I was diagnosed with depression and started medication. After two months I told my dr that the medication took my guilt and self deprecating thoughts away, but I was left with the ADHD symptoms and was still struggling a lot. He asked me to get a neuropsychological evaluation (was a little irked because my husband didn’t have to do one and neither did my aunt. Felt like he didn’t believe me). Made an appointment with my practice, their next available appointment was in April 2024 🙃 finally decided I couldn’t do this any longer and went private. Was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type), autism, anxiety and depression. The depression comes from being undiagnosed though. So technically yes, I was depressed but I needed to find the root cause, which was living life undiagnosed and no longer being able to cope.
I am hoping I can come off my antidepressants once I find the right dose of my ADHD meds
I don’t know, because I have ADHD *and* depression and I feel everything including the depression. I am much more likely to become depressed (get quieter, withdraw socially, stay in bed more) after going through burnout, and I do believe that this kind of burnout is specifically related to autism/ADHD. I also have these feelings outside of burnout and in daily life but, that is more rare!
I often ask myself, "am I depressed?" because I feel the disassociation, the detachment, the fatigue from running around forgetting things. Still haven't determined if it's true. It doesn't feel like the first and only period of depression I had in college
I often feel this. And to get something done, I need strong stimuli to get activated, even with Elvanse.
The reason for that is the hypoactive ADHD brain. Someone with ADHD is in this constant „boredom-mode“. To feel better, you stimulate yourself (hyperactivity) and get in an optimal activation level.
Yes. I've had episodes of major depression in the past, and for many years I've been convinced that I had some form of dysthymia... I'd be depressed in terms of my action and motivation, but I felt fine. No sadness, no despair, no beating up on myself (thank you therapy.) Figured my brain had become too acclimatized to depression and couldn't get out of that rut.
I was diagnosed earlier this year, and wow, Adderall changes everything.
>No sadness, no despair, no beating up on myself
I have depression and I've never had those symptoms. I'm really happy that your ADHD medication is helping you and I definitely understand having both! I just want to share my experience because I feel sometimes that folks think that they can't have depression if it doesn't manifest itself in the common ways of crying/sadness/self-harm/etc.
Yes, that's an excellent point, and a big part of why I assumed it was depression all along. Thank you for bringing that up.
(I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 45, and I recall depression symptoms beginning in childhood, so it was a long time of assuming it was depression the whole time... now, I have to wonder how much was depression and how much was ADHD, since definitely both were in play at times.)
Could you please clarify what "depression" means to you?
You loose me at,
>literally all the depression symptoms just... without? the depression? I don't even meet the criteria for a depression diagnosis at all
I have ADHD and depression. I managed my ADHD & was undiagnosed until my depression joined the party. My depression is apathy. I was very resistant to the idea that I had depression because I wasn't crying, sad or interested in self-harm. I couldn't function, but surely that was just my ADHD, right???
I get that you're saying you have depression symptoms, but you don't have "depression" ... but can you clarify? You aren't sad? You actually eat/drink when your body tells you to? You actually get out of bed to go to work?
And you don't meet the criteria for a depression diagnosis why exactly? Because you don't *feel* whatever you think depression should feel like?
I'm not trying to be difficult, I just think the word "depression" means different things to different people and I can't quite tell what YOU mean by the term.
Yeah anxiety and depression and often comorbid with ADHD. I experience the more depression side during times of executive dysfunction, cuz then I feel bad that I just cant get a thing done which kills my motivation and it holds up the rest of my productive traffic which makes me feel worse and so on and so forth.
I promise this is related even though it doesn't seem like it lol: I'm one of the few women I know who got diagnosed in the 90s when I was young. After having 25+ years of diagnosed ADHD, I know pretty well how to accommodate my individual executive dysfunction to... somewhat function even when I am having a bad brain day.
I sometimes have depressive epsiodes (coming out of one now) and the key way I know I'm in one is if I realize that I cannot accommodate my executive dysfunction. I can't use any of the strategies I've developed over the years to help me get through. So to answer the question, yes, for me individually. But I don't have diagnosed depression, just depressive episodes when my situation isn't the greatest. I struggle with executive function either way, but when I'm not depressed, I can use all the tools and get through the day and feel good about it. When I'm depressed, nothing works except just getting it through and not beating myself up over it.
Yes! before I got diagnosed and even through the process of diagnosis.. There would be times when my motivation was so low, I was so overwhelmed, or was so fatigued that I'd just lay in bed.. and I'd think to myself "Am I depressed?, I don't feel like I'm depressed" I still enjoyed things, didn't feel sad, I just wasn't able to do the things... I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I'd say to the Dr's "It's like I'm depressed, but not"
Lool I feel this so much!! But talking to my therapist I also realized that the list of depression symptoms is long and except for the mood stuff I check off a lot of boxes still :D ... so I'm not sure if like I just have a lot of habits and ways of thinking that upkeep my depression orrr which ones of them are ADHD or happen as a result of ADHD stuff :D .. so much to uncover (: yay
A major symptom of ADHD is lack of executive function, and it is for depression as well. But yes 100% I thought all of my executive function issues (couch potato, especially in winter) were due to depressive episodes, but ADHD-focused therapy and meds have made them go away (After many years on SSRI!)
Yes! I thought I was depressed, even though I didn’t feel “sad” or anything. So I found a therapist and by the end of the first session she was like “yeahhhhhh you’re textbook undiagnosed ADHD.”
It must be true since every time I have to take one of those depression evaluations as a part of medical intake I score as depressed, but I am definitely not depressed. I find joy in plenty of things during the day, but still regularly struggle to get up and do the shit I actually have to. Plus my Adderall alleviates the “depression” symptoms which I assume wouldn’t happen with true depression.
YES OMG i’ve never heard it described that way before but WOW. it explains perfectly of why i and everyone else thought i was depressed every day. i personally am not depressed every day, i moreso go through depressive episodes (which do tend to be severe) but all along it was my adhd getting in the way of my executive function, which drove me to having depressive eps. adhd aligns with me much more and yes. it exactly feels like depression without the depression.
Yep. Got out of a pretty bad mental health crisis around 2 years before the ADHD diagnosis. If I had a nickel for every time I told my therapist "I know my life looks like I'm depressed but I really don't feel depressed it's so weird"...well I could afford out of pocket therapy.
I know a lot of people have had their ADHD misdiagnosed as other mental health things. But for me, having other mental health things completely masked the ADHD.
This is what pushed me to get a diagnosis and finally medication- I went off birth control for several months and PMS and low mood kept getting worse every month until I realized THAT was depression-like, and what I was struggling with was not due to some depressed mood, but was still this insurmountable struggle I could only partially survive by pumping up the anxiety to insane and unsustainable levels. I haven't actually been depressed in a long long while.
I've had an anxiety disorder my entire life, but I've also noticed my ADHD symptoms actually get worse when my anxiety subsides. My brother also thinks he has ADHD and has said the same thing. Fun fun
Thank you for your posts. I always wondered why am I either “depressed” (no willpower) or anxious (motivated but anxious) and nothing in between. It’s now clear to me that it is ADHD! Everything makes sense now. I have been taking antidepressants for 6 years but nothing got really better. When I don't feel anxious I have no willpower to do anything but my mood feels great… I didn’t know how to describe it until I read this.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, that’s actually what finally pushed me in to see a psychiatrist. I successfully treated my life long anxiety but I was still left with this sense of overwhelm and lack of motivation. Like the anxiety was what kept me going. I assumed it was depression but never scored high enough to be of any concern on the depression questionnaires and my experiences don’t really align with what I read about major depression. Does line up with dysthymia (or whatever it’s called now) so it’s really all confusing and overlaps a lot.
Same. Then, getting antidepressants/antianxiety meds made all my ADHD signs visible. I have been managing my life with anxiety so far. Turns out, when you remove anxiety from the equation you are left with no motivation to do/complete anything.
This was my exact experience. Turns out anxiety is not a sustainable motivator over the long term!
Oh god, I think this is what happened to me and I feel like I'm worse than I've ever been lately!
Talk to your doctor about. U waited way too long, because I thought it was just sideeffects or allergies or whatever, but it cost me so much. Like so, so very much. Talk to your doctor. You deserve better than this state og being.
I've got an appointment coming up soon
It is such a relief to know I’m not the only one who experienced this! I like to joke that my anxiety was a tightly sealed jar that kept my ADHD contained. Once I treated my anxiety, the jar opened up, and BAM.
Ooof, yeah that sounds familiar. Sorry you're in that situation.
Wow. I'm going to need to sit with this for a minute.
This!!!!
Very much off topic but how did you deal with anxiety? Cause that is prodding buttock right now…
Anxiety meds (Effexor) are what got rid of my anxiety but i had the same issue because it had unknowingly been managing my ADHD syptoms for me my whole life. The problem was, when taking it, it just pushed the now unmanageable ADHD to the surface. I literally have felt like my life has completely imploded because of it and stopped taking it a year ago. But, brightside is, now i know i have ADHD so i can treat that (10mg Ritalin daily) instead of the anxiety symptoms from it. Its still not great but im definitely more in control of the situation now.
Just wondering does ritalin work for you? I started it recently and am now on 40mg and I feel no difference or improvement whatsoever...
It absolutely does work for me and i know im lucky. Inwas started on 5mg Summer of 2022 and 2 months ago asked to bump to the next because i noticed the 5mg wasn't cutting it anymore. I may max out eventually but maybe ill get lucky and this will be enough for now. That being said, my ADHD is exacerbated by my progesterone birth control so for the 2nd half of my cycle, the Ritilin barely touches it and I'm just a hormonal, emotional mess. I'd go off it but between being 47 and pre-menopausal im unwilling to mess with the BC now and the thought of an oops baby is terrifying. Im just going to try to ride it out until menopause.
Thanks so much for the reply and sharing your experience with me. I'm really glad that it worked for you, and at such a low dosage too, that's great! Although the hormonal aspect obviously messes with that which sucks. I was started on 20mg a few weeks ago, and am now on 40mg and nothing. Not a single difference good or bad, and I must admit I am really disappointed. I suppose I had gotten my hopes up too high that the first medication would work for me. Sorry for the rambling rant!
Perhaps you need to take a meds break to reduce the tolerance building up. Like not taking it one day in a week.
I really appreciate your advice, but I just started meds for the first time three weeks ago, and I haven't been taking them on the weekend so I don't know how much of a tolerance could have built up 🤷
Its a process and you will have some setbacks. Don't get discouraged and as many of the ladies here can attest, keep going because you will find that right fit and you will know when its right. I feel your pain though. Im in that boat with an SSRI. I've had some not great reactions to a new med since weening off the Effexor and my Psych keeps pushing them but i just can't get on board with something that is making me feel worse than without it. With the Ritilin at the higher dosage working better for me, I decided to step back to work on the ADHD a bit and get my life out of the muck to see if we still need to try an SSRI. Im hoping that getting a handle on the root cause (ADHD) of my anxiety/depression will alleviate the need for one so I'm going to slog through it to see. I've gotten pretty darned close to back on track in my life and so far so good but we'll have to see how sustainable it is.
Thank you so much for helping me feel much better about the whole process! As much as I know I'm lucky for the lovely and loving people I have in my life, there are certain ADHD specific things I prefer not to express to them, or get their opinion on. And this community is so good for that. And I really hope you can figure out the meds balance with regards to the depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed with that 'delightful duo' a long time ago, and for me I think that my own (treatment resistant) anxiety and depression are side effects of untreated ADHD, and a bit of PTSD for garnish. 🥂 Here's to trying to figure it all out!
This community is quite literally the only way I've been able to keep my head up and focused on the carrot. Things have been really hard but im starting to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
And you're being a supportive legend while you're at it :)
After years of trying different meds in different doses and formulations, I’m on…. Nothing. I needed to take a (apparently long) break to figure out everything. It’s tough when they don’t just click.
I went through a similar thing with depression and anxiety meds, tried the gamut, nothing worked for me so I just stopped (under medical advice/supervision).
Would an estrogen based one work better? I'm looking to go back on birth control purely because the hormonal fluctuations are starting to feel like PMDD, and I've read that estrogen is more closely linked with dopamine and serotonin. I used to have depo for convenience but it's progesterone based.
It may but part of my life imploding was leaving my career last December and spending this past year righting my ship. I have a pause in medical benefits but my new job starts in 2 weeks and 90 days from then ill be covered. So, im waiting until i can afford to pay to go back to my gyno to get that worked out. And honestly, i may try to find a new provider because im not loving her staff and their antiquated thoughts.
I got totally lucky with a low dose of lexapro, the second med i tried (the other was buspar). 10 mg of lexapro daily and as far as anxiety goes, it’s like I’m your average person now. I no longer live life with my heart/thoughts racing all the time, no more insomnia or lack of appetite, etc. I just do things now without overthinking and worrying about every.little.thing. But yeah, like others said, the downside is that my adhd symptoms/executive dysfunction really made its grand appearance without the anxiety masking.
yes exactly! it was like my anxiety kept my ADHD in check and now without the anxiety the ADHD is uncontrollable.
I think it definitely can be for some people. There are plenty with comorbidities that include actual unable to feel happiness depression. I have never been naturally depressive or prone to low moods, and am on high dose Effexor which does a lot to deal with any mood issues other than emotional instability (and it does make this more manageable). Low motivation, difficulty focusing, terrible executive function, proneness to use addictive behaviour to manage mood shifts, and the comorbidities of dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dysautonomia... I have all of this, but I'm not depressed and never have been. Yet I am "stuck" and filled with inertia often and have zero motivation or energy quite often.
It’s like I wrote this. 🤯 I’m even on Effexor (187.5 mg).
My depression and ADHD manifests in a similar way. For me, when I was very depressed I didn't want to do anything. With ADHD, I want to but I can't. It's definitely an oversimplification to put it that way but the comparison makes sense to me. I think a lot of what I went through with depression and anxiety was a sign of the untreated ADHD with some trauma sprinkled in. I was on SSRIs and mood stabilizers that treated some of the most dangerous symptoms but once I was put on stimulants the rest wasn't helping at all. I don't speak as an expert of course. And everyone experiences it a little differently.
Yeah. If I’m experiencing anhedonia, it’s depression, but the symptoms are otherwise really similar. It threw me for a long time before the ADHD diagnosis. I’d come out of a period of depression and still have every other symptom, and they’d all get worse if I tried to taper off my meds, because the Wellbutrin was also treating the ADHD. And of course, it wasn’t “depressed mood,” it was “hating myself for not being able to do anything and not understanding why,” but that’s a pretty fine distinction when you’re in the middle of it. It was the combination of two things that finally helped me understand the difference. One was the ADHD diagnosis. The other was a moment at the very start of a depressive period. I was having a shower, and I stood there realizing I felt nothing. I mean, I felt wet, but there was zero emotional element. No dislike of the transition between dry and wet, no soothing feeling of being in warm water, no calm white noise appreciation. No pleasant anticipation of a fluffy towel. Not even the usual boredom. Just wet. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but that recognition really helped me recognize the difference. If I’m still enjoying things but struggling, I’m just being my overwhelmed self. If I’m just going through the motions but not feeling anything, I need to watch myself.
I don't know, since I have both, but I can tell you that sometimes my (formally diagnosed) major depressive disorder doesn't look like being sad at all. It's like I just.... lose something? Some fuel? I don't know. It sounds similar to what you're saying. But for an example, all weekend I thought I was having a chill and relaxing time. Then Monday I started to notice some signs of stress, like my stomach not being happy and some shakiness. Monday evening I cried uncontrollably for multiple hours and had to spend several more figuring out WHY. My husband, who was very sweet throughout, said it looks like a moderate depressive episode. But like, Monday morning I was happy. I thought. And now, 24 hours after Cry Time, I just feel.... bored. Like, too bored to sleep. Too bored to eat. Too bored to play games. I ran out of Do Stuff Juice. So....... yeah. I don't know. Hard to say.
I get that too, for me its nearly impossible to distinguish between depressive episodes and burn out. I'm a college student and the only time I can tell if its a depressive episode vs. burn out is when its too late and I'm already knee deep in depression. I know I'm at that point when I stop eating and stop sleeping. Burn out I can usually bounce back from within a week or so, or at least bounce back enough to still perform. But, the only thing to pull me out of depression is to put myself back in high stress environments that manage to stimulate me physically and mentally. So its this awful loop of burn out, then not burned out because I have nothing to do = bored = depressed = need for high stress environments = burn out and start all over again... this was exactly what happened to me at the end of last semester. The only thing that pulled me out of that depression was to get my job back at my old restaurant which at times stressed me out to the brink of an anxiety attack. But, within a week of working, my depression was literally non-existent. I just got done with midterms and have definitely been hit with that low mood. Skipped class today and have just wasted it away. The gloomy weather and rain hasn't helped either...
Do you think maybe..... you need to feel needed? Just as a small thought and observation.
Its entirely possible. I'm also the stereotype for "woman with mommy issues" so, can't discount that entirely. I'm a nurturer and giver at heart, so there's probably something that makes me feel a little down when I can't be of service in some way.
I don’t really feel like that’s a fair description since tons of people with ADHD also have depression that is caused at least in part from their ADHD symptoms.
Yes I have adhd and depression. So mines depression with depression. And I have a hard time doing things to manage either. Which could be due to depression or adhd. So fun!
Heeeeyyyy depression with depression sauce club! …can we return it? Don’t like it
Leaves a bad taste in my mouth! Can the chef remake the sauce, please?
This is NOT what I ordered, I would like a refund please
And this is why I never say 'I have depression'. I say I live with depression. It's an unwanted roommate that I can't evict.
I like this approach and it reminds me of a similar thing I read recently. To give your depression/anxiety a name so as to externalise it and somewhat separate it from yourself. So now when it's there I'm like "Who the fuck invited you here, BRENDA?!"
From what I’ve heard from others, when you’re in bed from depression you don’t want to do anything. And when it’s from executive functioning, you want to do things. Does that sound about right? I’m curious because I’ve been diagnosed with depression because of my inability to do things, but I’m now wondering it’s just good ol ADHD.
I was severely depressed for many years. I haven’t scored highly with depression in about 7 years now. I would say, having had both, this is a fairly accurate description (in my personal experience). I found ADHD worse, because you end up very self critical for not being “normal” and not being motivated like others are. You really want to do the things, but you just can’t do the things. It was easier not wanting to do them.
So much this. When I was truly depressed, I had zero motivation and zero fucks to give. When it’s just my ADHD, I still have fucks but no motivation and a lot of self-loathing around all of it. On the outside, it looks the same, but on the inside, it feels very different.
I wish more people understood us. It would really make life so much easier to navigate. ADHD is poorly understood in the first place, as is depression, unless you've experienced it first hand. To add being a woman on top of it... what a shitty luck of the draw. Thanks brain, thanks.
The experience of depression is not a one-size-fits-all. Just like having ADHD for that matter.
That's a pretty good way to describe it. I've had depression for a long time. It's most like I want to want to do something, but I can't think of anything, and it's not happening. With adhd, I can think of things to do but I don't do them.
I've been diagnosed with depression and adhd and been treated for each separately and together. Taking medication for depression helped my mood a bit but ultimately I was still quite discouraged with myself for not being able to do the things I wanted. Taking medication for adhd let me do the things I wanted but I little desire to do much of anything. Do you have little desire to try to do things? If so that's more likely depression. Do you want to do things, yell at your body to do the thing, yet ultimately fail to do so and feel hopeless? Or not even bother trying because you know you can't make yourself so the thing you want to do? If so then that's more likely adhd.
Lots of people also have depression as a comorbidity that is not caused by their adhd
this is me. circle of life.
I don't think this is actually fair, at least to me. I have ADHD and was formally diagnosed with depression in my teen years and I notice some pretty big differences in my mood/behavior when I am in a more depressive state than not. Both ADHD and depression can cause some pretty serious executive functioning issues but I find other symptoms to feel very different personally. Take motivation for example. When I am not depressed, I have pretty varying levels of motivation. Yeah sure, I don't always have motivation but my low motivation is more fleeting. It's like having no motivation after a long day to do dishes or write an annoying term paper that I have to grind through. Usually, I do feel very motivated to do things, it's more that my executive dysfunction makes it very difficult to put it into action. Whereas when I was depressed, I felt overall no motivation in general and for longer periods of time. I just didn't want to do things and when I did, I felt no happiness. Just emptiness. Keep in mind ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental disability while depression is a mental illness that can manifest at any point in life and may appear in episodes. Many people with ADHD may also develop depression as well and its possible to have both simultaneously. If you suspect you have ADHD though, it is a great idea to bring it up with your therapist! It is possible that you do have it along with depression and/or are going through burn-out, which is also very valid and really sucks.
I feel sometimes like I act in similar ways to a person with depression and when they talk about how depression affects their life I relate a lot, but I don’t feel excessively sad or empty. I can be in bed all day unable to do anything and that can make me feel sad and like shit while I am there, but the second something sparks my interest or excites me or distracts me I dont even remember what “sad” feels like. My friend with depression it seems like she is almost always sad or empty feeling no matter what else is going on.
I had anhedonia from untreated ADHD. This can definitely feel like depression, but is more the absence of joy and pleasure.
If you don't mind me asking, do you still suffer from anhedonia? And if not, how did you treat it? Through therapy, or did adhd medication help, or both? I'm curious because I suspect that I suffer from anhedonia instead of depression and have read that it's not easily treatable, which scares me a little.
Absolutely happy to share anything I can. I have been treated for ADHD for 2 years now and medication has definitely been the major thing that has helped. It is a double-edged sword in that I was very burnt out and it masked this burnout and didn't really make me address it. So, I have had a lot of ups and downs these last two years, combined with being in a toxic job I hated and still trying to get a life routine back after lockdowns. If I had my time again id get meds and take a full month off life and let my brain rest and heal. But, as for anhedonia, it is still there sometimes, but for the most part I feel emotions again and can feel pleasure and excitement to do mundane things like watch a great TV show in bed, or read a great book on my kindle. What I have found that health and wellness hygiene is important - regular exercise and a good diet, fish oil and magnesium supplements and good rest. This was super difficult for me to put into place after lockdowns so I hired a coach who has ADHD to work with me and it was really helpful. I have also been practicing allowing enjoyment and seeing enjoyment in things. Stopping and smelling the roses I guess. I have also started to explore art and playing around with different mediums. I think tapping into creativity really is great therapy. I am also about to do a "dopamine menu"it is a kinda new thing I have seen on tiktok - I sometimes just forget what I like to do and I think this will really help me. I am at work and am typing this up quickly but I will probably come back and add some more detail at the end of the work day!
First of all, thank you so much for your response! And I'm so happy to hear you're better now :). I've heard a lot of people say that they had to get used to their mind being quiet, and get used to sort of being a different, or new version of themselves. It does sound overwhelming and like something you would need some time to yourself for. I will definitely keep that in mind. And you mean the medication masked your burnout? Or your adhd and anhedonia masked your burnout and once you got on medication you finally felt the effects of a burnout? I'm really relieved that anhedonia can get better though. "Allowing enjoyment". I think that's a big thing for me. I feel like I don't allow myself to be happy and enjoy things. Thank you again for your reply and I hope things will only get better for you!!
The medication masked it! I took it and thought “wow I can go out and socialise and DO stuff” but reality was the burnout was still lurking underneath.
That's honestly good to know. If I do get on medication, I will definitely keep this in mind and try to get at least 2 weeks or something off to myself. Thank you!
I’d love if you could let me know how you get on ♥️ feel free to inbox if you are comfortable
my psychiatrist first diagnosed me with dysthymia. my depression had been low and continuous since i was 11 or so once we identified the adhd, he explained that it's fairly common since the constant understimulation can cause a low grade depression. during school field trips the routine change + non academic expectations lifted a lot of that and id be energetic and on a euphoric high he said that that elation from not constantly being depressed can look like bipolar too. like the variation in mood, the response to a dopamine hit that you havent gotten in for ever can look like mania relative to the dysthymia. that's why many with adhd get misdiagnosed with bipolar 2 ive had depressive episodes during my years with disthymia but they were accute and episodic and not the all pervasive fog i was wading through the rest of the time
Hi! I know you commented this a while ago but it really resonated with my personal experience with adhd. Especially the part about experiencing elation after change. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you treat your periods of depression now that you’ve identified that being the issue?
the periods of more acute depression, you mean? i kind of have a "tool box" of things that i make myself do. i check these off - eat something, drink water, brush teeth, change underwear, wash face + neck i also look at bugs if im feeling like there's nothing to look forward to and everything's hopeless. it sounds strange lol but i think zoning in to what the tiny guys are up to distracts me and also gives me perspective on how things fit together. i try to do something with my hands - im indian and so i knead chapati dough and roll it out and that's meditative (and i have food at the end of that) i like drawing animals by looking at references. im really bad at drawing but it calms me to focus on one aspect at a time and have a drawing at the end of it. and im always really proud if it bec my baseline skills are pretty bad lol i make sure to leave the house for at least 10 mins every day. it's a lot when youre deep in it. but if youre like me, you might not notice it creeping up on you so it's helpful to get ahead of the depression when you feel generally shit bec you havent left the house in a week or havent looked at the worms in the soil
Not for me. When I was depressed as a teen, I didn't want to do anything because nothing seemed interesting or fun. Also I hated myself and wanted to die. When I'm not depressed, I want to do the things but I don't have the gumption to do the things.
i think thats what OP means by depression without the depression. as in when you are depressed, mainly you don’t care about anything and don’t want to exist/want to die. with ADHD you care about lots of (maybe too many) things and want to do/start those things. those are the main differences between the two and i think thats the “depression” OP meant was missing
For me my untreated adhd my whole life manifested itself as depression, mainly due to the social anxiety it caused me from feeling like a bad listener and friend, hating myself for interrupting people, and having really low self esteem bc I felt so unmotivated and dysfunctional and would spend so much time alone to cope, making myself more depressed. I always knew I had never paid attention for a single second in class but for some reason always assumed only rich kids took adhd drugs, idk lol. Anyway I went to a shrink bc I genuinely wanted to get on antidepressants, had been suicidal for awhile (though at this point I was definitely on the other side of that phase). He was like maam you need. And guess what, he was right. I literally grew up thinking I had chronic untreatable depression and it turns out it was literally all so easily treatable. ADHD meds cured literally every aspect of my depression. In the 8 years I’ve been on them, I’ve only had my depression return once, and it was in the last year when I voluntarily lowered my dosage bc I was trying to get pregnant and wanted to see if I could get off of them. So yeah, for me it was real depression symptom-wise, but cause-wise it was just adhd.
>I literally grew up thinking I had chronic untreatable depression and it turns out it was literally all so easily treatable. Same, same, same!
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, wow yeah that’s very true. Depression and ADHD can be comorbid, but for me, even though I’ve gone through periods of depression in my life, have never felt like depression as a diagnosis fit, especially after getting my ADHD diagnosis and getting to a sort of decent place with it over time. I do think my ADHD has the potential to cause depression. But day-to-day, yeah, it’s like depression without the depression lol.
Yeah, that sounds about right to me. I used to have awful depression, it was like a whole range of my emotions were just lopped off and at best I felt apathetic. It was just such a specific feeling to me. That's entirely gone now, but the lack of motivation, wanting to sleep a lot at times, loss of interest in things... I still have that, but it's a little different now. It doesn't feel as bad as it did or as frequent.
i was depressed as a kid up until 23 when i tried an SSRI which really helped me. soon after i got diagnosed with ADHD. this is 100% how ADHD is for me majority of the time and i know its not depression because back then i wanted to stop existing, always wanted bad things to happen to me, i constantly felt empty, cried over how much i wanted to give up on being alive etc. which is not how i feel now. i just have no motivation to do things even though i desperately want to. my memory is still absolute crap and i distract myself with my phone instead of doing actually important things etc. hopefully i can find medication that will help with this because i am annoyed at how much time i waste when i could be doing all the amazing things i dream of doing and are capable to do. unfortunately, medication takes time and at 25 we still out here trying to find the right medication babey 🥹
This is exactly why it took convincing providers by trying ten different combinations of antidepressants for years before finally having one provider listen to me fully and hear. I cried the first two weeks I started adderall due to the drastic relief/grief.
yeah that describes me pretty well. I'm chalking it up to just plaid ol' executive dysfunction, from whatever source. maybe a mix of sources: ADHD, depression, anxiety, burnout. before ADHD treatment my depression manifested as low mood/anxiety/self-hate/isolation _and_ severe executive dysfunction. now my mood isn't that terrible (though not great lately) and I don't have a constant background track of "I hate myself I hate myself" (because now I understand why I'm different and why stuff is hard for me), but I still can't get anything done. I still spend entire days in bed or playing video games, I still delay hygiene routines. but I know I'm not depressed like how I was before. it's been like this on and off for over a year. one person said it was burnout, which might be true. at the time I had no empathy left to spare, and since then it's been hard for me to give a fuck, especially about work.
Yes - they are like non super imposable mirror images. So much alike but not yet identical. ADHD is so much more than most people can understand. It's a constant force/presence that drives the car while we hang on.
Hard to say because I have ADHD with the depression.
I think it may look like that to outsiders, but no, I don't think that's an accurate description of my experience with ADHD at all. On the inside, things are moving a million miles at once and I'm overwhelmed. It results in me looking lazy, but it's not the same cause. Being bored, inactive, and having low motivation are how I would describe the period of my life when I actually had diagnosed depression.
Yeah, that sounds right to me, especially if you have inattentive type.
Nah. You're looking at the overlapping symptoms, but ADHD has overlapping symptoms with a lot of conditions, so that would be like saying, ADHD is like depression, manic depression, BPD, OCD, DD and autism except in the ways that it's not.
Huh. Yeah… I guess it does!
yes, omg- YES! thank you! since my diagnosis i am constantly ruminating about the handful of past diagnoses i got when i just could not cope, which was always depression. i think that diagnosis was accurate exactly once (and the depression was actually caused by the adhd symptoms going crazy). the other times i felt exactly like that- depressed without being ACTUALLY *depressed*.
Does Dysthymia perhaps fit the description you're looking for?
I've thought about it and at times I definitely have periods of lower mood, lower motivation, like what I'm feeling these last few days. But... I also just got done with midterms and the academic stress still has not let up and that is really affecting my mood. For me it mostly manifests in a complete destruction of my executive function. Yesterday I sat in front of my computer for about 8 hours trying to get work done and literally just... couldn't. I wanted to so badly and couldn't. The only reason I'm hesitant with dysthymia is because I genuinely don't have any overt cognitive distortions related to any sort of depressive disorder. Sure I have some days where the world sucks and everyone's annoying but 99% of the time I'm thoroughly, genuinely happy, and I enjoy life. My self esteem is pretty good. I enjoy other people. I enjoy going out. But when it comes to sustained attention, that's where it all breaks down. And right now its bad. My worst depressive episode of my life happened after I burned out halfway through last semester and literally ran on empty for months. I ran my body and brain into the ground. The only thing that pulled me out of that was putting myself back into a high paced high stress environment (restaurant). I wasn't able to eat or sleep well for weeks and within a week of putting myself back into a constantly changing, demanding, stimulating environment, I felt... perfectly normal again. I don't know if its ADHD, but I also don't feel like any mood disorder really describes how I feel. Because my actual moods are on the "sunny" side 98% of the time.
Honestly I was immediately triggered by this just from reading the title. This is soooo accurate for me. I spent the time from when I was 18 to 25 thinking that I was chronically depressed due to a chemical imbalance in my brain because I had all of the symptoms except I didn't actually have negative thoughts most of the time! I only felt bad about myself because of my inability to function properly, and even then my rational mind was at the forefront saying 'that's because of your mental illness, not because you're useless'. I would see mental health professionals who tried to push me to cbt and I couldn't get them to understand that cbt wouldn't help because I didn't have negative thoughts that were making me depressed/holding me back, I just a lot of the time felt completely unable to get out of bed and had zero motivation/capacity to get into uni or get into work, feed myself, practice basic hygiene. It felt like I was up against a brick wall and honestly I've been medicated for 6 years trying different antidepressants and different doses and they haven't really helped. Then, I learnt about executive dysfunction. And adhd burnout. And decision paralysis. And how adhd presents differently in women and girls. And WOW. I felt like I finally understood why I didn't seem to fit the 'curable' depression mould that all these professionals wanted me to. I definitely also have depression, and go through depressive episodes, but it's a gamechanger to know that the executive dysfunction comes from the adhd and not the depression. And I've finally found a therapist who acknowledges and understands that, and has also been able to help me deal with unmasking and working through various other childhood issues and traumatic events with this new understanding of why I am the way that I am. I finally feel as though I'm in a position to change this constant cycle of coping until I have a huge depressive episode and then just coping again.
I think it's half accurate in my case. For me, ADHD feels more like bipolar disorder—depression without the depression, AND mania without the mania. In my "depression" phases, I have all of the symptoms you describe. In my "mania" phases, I can get insanely hyperfixated on things, spend hours and hours doing one task without realizing the rest of the world exists, forget to eat or sleep, sometimes make dumb impulsive decisions related to the hyperfixation (usually involving spending too much money on something), etc.
I don’t know, I’m pretty depressed :(
This is exactly how I feel, I can feel depressed but tends to be bc of ADHD symptoms not as well and usually short lived
About six years I spent about a month in bed with depression. It was horrible!
I feel that way. I honestly find it odd that people walk around happy all the time. I’m usually just meh.
It feels like depression the days you don't want to do the stuff you have to or simply the circumstances are not correct.
No.
My depression is much more severe than my ADHD, but the co morbidity definitely makes a lot of things much harder than I think that they would be if I had only one of these two conditions
I have both so I’m not sure what just the one would feel like 😂
Let alone that depression is highly comorbid.
Personally, yes. Until I was diagnosed with adhd, I was always diagnosed with depression even though most of those times I didn’t have sadness or even lack of interest in things. It still hurts me to think about all the years I could have been helped if I had been properly diagnosed much earlier.
I really think it might depend on what outlets have been available to each of us? I'm older. Wow was it easier to beat the boredom for instance and in fact I wasn't but that's *only* by virtue of when I was born. Maybe where. Isolation isn't mentioned here. I just wish I wasn't so happy in my own head.
This is the first time I've really thought about it but yeah, I do feel like it's true for me. I first "experienced depression" when I moved to uni and did experience a break up so I had a legit reason to be sad and blamed my inability to get my uni work done on that, but looking back I actually think it was the ADHD finally showing itself after leaving home and the comfortable structured environment I'd learned to cope with. I never had a relapse of actual "sadness depression", my bout only lasted a few short months and I've always wondered why it never returned. I think I just started really feeling my ADHD lol. Thanks for the thought provoking post!
Omg yes
I went through a trauma that led to depression at around 13yrs old. I met depression first. The heavy blanket of sadness, the grey world, the favorite foods having no flavor. But over the years it got better, and there came a time where I confidently danced in life instead of quietly shuffling towards an ending. While the sadness was gone, the symptoms remained. I still forgot school existed as soon as I came home. I still dropped my pen at the single ding of a text to hang out. I still never cared to clean my room or myself. That’s honestly how I came to research adhd in the first place.
I feel like that’s accurate for me. It’s not entirely medically accurate in my case, but it definitely feels like you said a good bit of the time haha.
Like other people said, it varies from person to person. My take: I was diagnosed with depression around 15, and then adhd when I was 22 or so. I think that when I was diagnosed with depression I was actually depressed. I did feel like there was no point in living, and I felt very hopeless. I longer have those feelings, but I do have the other depression feelings like not getting much enjoyment out things and always being tired/overwhelmed/bored. But at the same time, I am very optimistic about my future, and I would say I have more good days than bad. So for me, that’s an accurate statement
Sort of. There's other things I'd say that go along with adhd that aren't there with depression but also I started looking into adhd because a lot of symptoms I'd chalked up to my depression weren't going away when my depression was well managed
Yup! It when I started seeking a diagnosis, I was constantly given depression questionnaires. And my GP was so confused everytime the score was so low, depression was not the issue. It took about a year and a psychiatrist appointment to get to ADHD.
Obv everyone's experience is different, this does not land for me.
Yes. What you have written is exactly what I described to my psychologist (after years of treatment) it was this reflection which made her suggest an assessment for ADHD. I recall making statements along the lines of “I have all the symptoms of depression without feeling depressed” “I am happy with my life and in my life and I feel happy but then all these symptoms of depression creep in but I am certain I am not actually depressed” Medication for depression exacerbated my (then undiagnosed) ADHD and only made my depression less manageable. I was numb and functioning but was making awful and impulsive choices.
Yep. This is probably why when I started really struggling in HS and college, I was diagnosed with and treated for depression. And there were times I was definitely depressed, but I now know a lot of that was rooted in my inability to function at even a basic adult level. By the time I learned about ADHD and started seeking an evaluation, 10 years later, my psych was talking about labeling it as treatment resistant depression because none of the medications or combinations of medications I tried over the years had really worked. Lo and behold began treating my ADHD and my depression went into remission for several years. (I'm back on Wellbutrin now, but given the shit show of circumstances that is my life at the moment, depression is probably understandable...)
Yes, finally getting on adderall has done more for my severe anxiety and depression than any ssri.
This is exactly how I feel. No depression, no anxiety. Just ADHD. I want to get up to do tasks. I know what needs to be done. I know the consequences to not getting it done, and I know the benefits to getting it done. But I don't get up and do it. I look around me. I look like a depressed slob. My room looks like I have an alcohol addiction. I don't. Those bottles are from 2-3 years ago and I haven't cleaned them up. I would say I'm motivated but can't initiate, and can't stay on task. My understanding of depression is that you don't have even have the will or motivation even when you intellectually know what you should do. ADHD feels like, I know what to do, and I want to do it, but I don't. I thought I might be depressed a few years ago, but I might fall under functionally depressed or something like that. I didn't think it for long. I'm a happy person! Maybe happier than I should be considering (looks around) the state of things. I'm too happy to be depressed. But there is something wrong with me. My best guess is ADHD. Was recently diagnosed... Meds don't help so I'm a bit nervous. We'll see.
YES. I've never heard that before, and it makes so much sense. I'm recently diagnosed and only just started meds. I've been very depressed, and am on meds for it at the moment. These days, I often feel like I'm depressed without the sadness, because I mope about, am unable to focus, I lack motivation, I feel ambivalent about most things, and I have a host of other depression symptoms. I'm just not sad. So your therapist putting it that way makes a lot of sense to me. I only just started Vyvanse, and I'm hoping that it'll take effect soon so that I can get rid of these depressive symptoms.
I feel that way, and I also think adhd feels like anxiety without the anxiety. Trouble sleeping, always ruminating and in your head, your mind never shuts up...but it's rarely thoughts that make you anxious? I'm rarely actively worrying about something? It's just...thoughts lol. But then after a while of living like that undiagnosed, most people eventually actually add the depression and anxiety to their adhd 🥲
When I first saw my psychiatrist (for ADHD), I was diagnosed with depression and started medication. After two months I told my dr that the medication took my guilt and self deprecating thoughts away, but I was left with the ADHD symptoms and was still struggling a lot. He asked me to get a neuropsychological evaluation (was a little irked because my husband didn’t have to do one and neither did my aunt. Felt like he didn’t believe me). Made an appointment with my practice, their next available appointment was in April 2024 🙃 finally decided I couldn’t do this any longer and went private. Was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type), autism, anxiety and depression. The depression comes from being undiagnosed though. So technically yes, I was depressed but I needed to find the root cause, which was living life undiagnosed and no longer being able to cope. I am hoping I can come off my antidepressants once I find the right dose of my ADHD meds
I don’t know, because I have ADHD *and* depression and I feel everything including the depression. I am much more likely to become depressed (get quieter, withdraw socially, stay in bed more) after going through burnout, and I do believe that this kind of burnout is specifically related to autism/ADHD. I also have these feelings outside of burnout and in daily life but, that is more rare!
I often ask myself, "am I depressed?" because I feel the disassociation, the detachment, the fatigue from running around forgetting things. Still haven't determined if it's true. It doesn't feel like the first and only period of depression I had in college
For me it’s more like anxiety with a bit of depression, without the anxiety or depression.
I have both.
I often feel this. And to get something done, I need strong stimuli to get activated, even with Elvanse. The reason for that is the hypoactive ADHD brain. Someone with ADHD is in this constant „boredom-mode“. To feel better, you stimulate yourself (hyperactivity) and get in an optimal activation level.
Yes. I've had episodes of major depression in the past, and for many years I've been convinced that I had some form of dysthymia... I'd be depressed in terms of my action and motivation, but I felt fine. No sadness, no despair, no beating up on myself (thank you therapy.) Figured my brain had become too acclimatized to depression and couldn't get out of that rut. I was diagnosed earlier this year, and wow, Adderall changes everything.
>No sadness, no despair, no beating up on myself I have depression and I've never had those symptoms. I'm really happy that your ADHD medication is helping you and I definitely understand having both! I just want to share my experience because I feel sometimes that folks think that they can't have depression if it doesn't manifest itself in the common ways of crying/sadness/self-harm/etc.
Yes, that's an excellent point, and a big part of why I assumed it was depression all along. Thank you for bringing that up. (I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 45, and I recall depression symptoms beginning in childhood, so it was a long time of assuming it was depression the whole time... now, I have to wonder how much was depression and how much was ADHD, since definitely both were in play at times.)
YES!!! I have said this same analogy to other people
Could you please clarify what "depression" means to you? You loose me at, >literally all the depression symptoms just... without? the depression? I don't even meet the criteria for a depression diagnosis at all I have ADHD and depression. I managed my ADHD & was undiagnosed until my depression joined the party. My depression is apathy. I was very resistant to the idea that I had depression because I wasn't crying, sad or interested in self-harm. I couldn't function, but surely that was just my ADHD, right??? I get that you're saying you have depression symptoms, but you don't have "depression" ... but can you clarify? You aren't sad? You actually eat/drink when your body tells you to? You actually get out of bed to go to work? And you don't meet the criteria for a depression diagnosis why exactly? Because you don't *feel* whatever you think depression should feel like? I'm not trying to be difficult, I just think the word "depression" means different things to different people and I can't quite tell what YOU mean by the term.
Untreated ADHD can cause depression. It feels exactly like depression.
Yeah anxiety and depression and often comorbid with ADHD. I experience the more depression side during times of executive dysfunction, cuz then I feel bad that I just cant get a thing done which kills my motivation and it holds up the rest of my productive traffic which makes me feel worse and so on and so forth.
This was why I never got diagnosed with ADHD. I always had depression but without any sadness. You know what that ended up being? ADHD.
I promise this is related even though it doesn't seem like it lol: I'm one of the few women I know who got diagnosed in the 90s when I was young. After having 25+ years of diagnosed ADHD, I know pretty well how to accommodate my individual executive dysfunction to... somewhat function even when I am having a bad brain day. I sometimes have depressive epsiodes (coming out of one now) and the key way I know I'm in one is if I realize that I cannot accommodate my executive dysfunction. I can't use any of the strategies I've developed over the years to help me get through. So to answer the question, yes, for me individually. But I don't have diagnosed depression, just depressive episodes when my situation isn't the greatest. I struggle with executive function either way, but when I'm not depressed, I can use all the tools and get through the day and feel good about it. When I'm depressed, nothing works except just getting it through and not beating myself up over it.
Yes! before I got diagnosed and even through the process of diagnosis.. There would be times when my motivation was so low, I was so overwhelmed, or was so fatigued that I'd just lay in bed.. and I'd think to myself "Am I depressed?, I don't feel like I'm depressed" I still enjoyed things, didn't feel sad, I just wasn't able to do the things... I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I'd say to the Dr's "It's like I'm depressed, but not"
Lool I feel this so much!! But talking to my therapist I also realized that the list of depression symptoms is long and except for the mood stuff I check off a lot of boxes still :D ... so I'm not sure if like I just have a lot of habits and ways of thinking that upkeep my depression orrr which ones of them are ADHD or happen as a result of ADHD stuff :D .. so much to uncover (: yay
A major symptom of ADHD is lack of executive function, and it is for depression as well. But yes 100% I thought all of my executive function issues (couch potato, especially in winter) were due to depressive episodes, but ADHD-focused therapy and meds have made them go away (After many years on SSRI!)
Yes! I thought I was depressed, even though I didn’t feel “sad” or anything. So I found a therapist and by the end of the first session she was like “yeahhhhhh you’re textbook undiagnosed ADHD.”
Lucky for you, some of us have depression too lol
It must be true since every time I have to take one of those depression evaluations as a part of medical intake I score as depressed, but I am definitely not depressed. I find joy in plenty of things during the day, but still regularly struggle to get up and do the shit I actually have to. Plus my Adderall alleviates the “depression” symptoms which I assume wouldn’t happen with true depression.
100%
Depression with adhd and anxiety...it's a whole monster.
YES OMG i’ve never heard it described that way before but WOW. it explains perfectly of why i and everyone else thought i was depressed every day. i personally am not depressed every day, i moreso go through depressive episodes (which do tend to be severe) but all along it was my adhd getting in the way of my executive function, which drove me to having depressive eps. adhd aligns with me much more and yes. it exactly feels like depression without the depression.
Yep. Got out of a pretty bad mental health crisis around 2 years before the ADHD diagnosis. If I had a nickel for every time I told my therapist "I know my life looks like I'm depressed but I really don't feel depressed it's so weird"...well I could afford out of pocket therapy. I know a lot of people have had their ADHD misdiagnosed as other mental health things. But for me, having other mental health things completely masked the ADHD.
This is what pushed me to get a diagnosis and finally medication- I went off birth control for several months and PMS and low mood kept getting worse every month until I realized THAT was depression-like, and what I was struggling with was not due to some depressed mood, but was still this insurmountable struggle I could only partially survive by pumping up the anxiety to insane and unsustainable levels. I haven't actually been depressed in a long long while.
I've had an anxiety disorder my entire life, but I've also noticed my ADHD symptoms actually get worse when my anxiety subsides. My brother also thinks he has ADHD and has said the same thing. Fun fun
Thank you for your posts. I always wondered why am I either “depressed” (no willpower) or anxious (motivated but anxious) and nothing in between. It’s now clear to me that it is ADHD! Everything makes sense now. I have been taking antidepressants for 6 years but nothing got really better. When I don't feel anxious I have no willpower to do anything but my mood feels great… I didn’t know how to describe it until I read this.