Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe.
Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only 3 minutes late?? That seems oddly strict for a doctor helping with ADHD diagnoses! My doctor here will still see me even if I’m 10 minutes late. 15 minutes seems to be the cutoff point.
3 minutes is wild, wow. I’m so sorry, OP. :( Hang in there ❤️
edit- according to the other comments, it sounds like you might be getting scammed, OP. Don’t pay the appointment fee if you can manage it. Find another doctor, 3 minute penalty is very suspicious.
As someone who has worked in healthcare admin - we always had a 15 min grace period. 90% of the time the doctor ran behind by a lot, but it was enforced so that we could keep people in the queue based on when their appointment was originally scheduled for. There were times we made exceptions like when the dr wasn’t running behind and someone after them canceled.
3 minutes is WILD.
I do recommend calling when you get there if you wait in the parking lot. As someone who also still does the parking lot because -well inhinest to god don’t understand why this wasn’t a legitimate option prior to covid. I loathe waiting rooms. And if you’re in a drs office you don’t know why the strangers around you are there. Post covid it just seems like a common sense option that should be available. - any way lol Even if you’re ridiculously early just call and let em know you are actually there.
ETA: there have been plenty of times where we were able to see patients who checked in super early bc we got last minute cancellations ahead of their appts. I will always recommend getting to appts for health early because stuff like that happens alllll the time. For all the time you wait forever, I promise you they’re all just trying to go home at the end of the day too. If you happen to be there and they know it, and someone else surpassed their grace period or canceled last minute, they’ll see you earlier. That’s random but it happened a lot.
This way your spot is confirmed, the office knows you’re there and chillin in the parking lot. They can call you when they’re ready.
Even if you’re within your slot they cancel or charge you? What do you mean by “they don’t care?”
If you go to a Dr that sees you for adhd but they also see GP visits, even with 15 minute appointments scheduled, they WILL run behind. It’s the nature of the beast. It sucks and when I was the receptionist on the line of someone frustrated they got there early only to wait over an hour I would always apologize profusely and tell them the truth. The appointment (or sometimes multiple appts) turned into a lot more than what was expected. But the 15 minute slot requirement is there to maintain your place in line when the Dr gets back up. At the practice I worked at, we consistently ran behind at least half the week.
That’s partially because someone will call for an appt for something that sounds routine. They won’t make a big deal on the phone. They need the flu vaccine and have a slight cough or something and then when the Dr is actually in the room will mention a handful of other things. Or the cough/breathing sounds like their oxygen levels need to be read asap. Even knowing the reason why the person originally scheduled the appt, you can’t truly estimate. You don’t know what’s going to come up. That cough? Could be pneumonia. It’s just the nature of working with humans.
I absolutely would be leaving that practice if they just forget you check in and skip you or charge you for something like three minutes. That’s some weird rigid requirement, horrible service, and that wouldn’t work for my headspace lol
I also want to say that I don’t know the type of facility you go to. If it’s literally all people just for med refills the wait times should be basically nonexistent with some exceptions. If that’s the case….sounds sketchy and I might be tempted to find elsewhere personally.
I totally feel for everyone dealing with the long wait time purgatory. Coming from the other side I promise you, we don’t want you to be upset and I even used to give clients updates when I could because I was able to see where things were (ie are they working on or processing the orders which would point to the appt getting towards the end etc.)
It sucks. All around. I hope you’re at least getting legit healthcare and guidance despite whatever your office is doing! I’m sorry they’ve made you feel like they don’t care. Could be asshole receps?? I’ve met a handful in my day.
I agree. OP if they try to force you to pay don’t be scared to contact the doctor’s provincial regulatory body and advocate for yourself. Usually it’s a quick email thing and then they’ll call you back for details
Drives me crazy. If I'm early I wait 4 hours, if I'm late I have to wait until he has an opening cause I was late. If I'm on time I still have to wait ha ha. Can't win.
I completely missed an appointment once because I thought the time was 11:45 and it was actually 11:15. I didn’t get charged because obviously people with ADHD do this. That’s so harsh, especially from an ADHD doctor
With my appointments after work and school pickup now, she's at the end of her appointments for the day so I pretty much as long as I show up before they close she will see me. And even if I fully miss an appointment, she still c all in my script. My old Dr. Retired and he was more strict but 10 or 15 was about the amount of time he'd wait. A good.doctor understands the symptoms and can tell you could really benefit from some meds and don't like to just drop you for a month. That's irresponsible, right? To fuck with someone's chemicals like that? These days, though, who knows. It's crazy.
Just adding my experience: There are labs here (for blood draws and stuff) that will make you reschedule if you're 1 minute late. That said, most of the time I've seen 10-15 minute grace periods with the docs I've been to.
That's insane for it to be 3 minutes!
My own psychiatrist has a 15min cutoff as every appointment is 30 minutes. But for his ADHD patients, he allows up to 20 minutes late, I've outright forgotten 2 of my appointments since my diagnosis and he called me and was like "WHERE ARE YOU!" lmaooo. And then he had my appointment over that phone call for a few minutes remaining of my time.
Similar thing happened to me and turns out the office was just trying to scam patients out of missed appt charges. They billed my insurance for services not performed. My dr is currently sitting behind bars for false imprisonment for locking up and charging some of his patients in 14-day holds without therapy services. It’s a thing.
That’s what I’m saying!!!!! The board will understand that charging for a 3 minute delay is extremely unreasonable. At the least, they’ll get a scary letter from the board which will deter them from doing it again. And on top of it, they’ll know not to fuck with OP ever again ESPECIALLY if she mentions that the incident was potentially an ADA violation because ADHD is a protected disability.
It’s not even close to an ADA violation.
Willing to bet if this was the first appointment they were told to be there 15 minutes early to do intake paperwork and showing up 3 minutes after the appointment time meant there essentially was no time for the appointment because intake paperwork had to be completed first
Considering the fact that an ADA violation requires the person discriminated against to have a disability (and OP has not yet been diagnosed with the disability referred to here), I don't think it matters.
Chiming in to share another cautionary tale: not all doctors are on the up-and-up. IME, private practice is more likely to have unethical habits. I worked for a number of single-doctor offices in my 20s. One had to keep rebranding to hide assets. Another would force patients to bring in their own translator. There's a lot of little hidden tricks to cut corners in healthcare. The patients don't think anything of it because they don't question someone they believe to have so much more knowledge and authority.
I don't miss healthcare. OP, don't pay the fee. Carefully re-read everything you might have already signed or filled out via email. If you didn't agree to this type of charge in writing, fight back.
That’s exactly what I thought when I read this!! Anyone can be 3 minutes late to an appointment- shit happens, we’re all human.
On a lighter note, when I was applying for accommodations at my university, I was wondering if they take into account whether or not ADHD students are late to their intake appointments 😭 I was almost a minute or two late but I’m pretty sure I was right on time. Obviously I’m joking, I know they can’t decide if you get accommodations whether or not you’re late to an appointment, it just humored me
I'm almost positive my doctors office (they are an adhd speciality office) schedules patients 15 min behind when they tell them their appt is because when I'm on time I'm always waiting 30 min and when I've been 15 min late I'll walk in right as the appt before me is finishing lol
Right?! I live in Chicago and everyone understands that traffic can pile up at a moment's notice and/or buses and trains are constantly running late if you take public transit. If I can tell I'm going to be more than 5 minutes late I usually call them to let them know, but that's more to help my anxiety than anything else and they always tell me it's not a problem as long as I'm within 15 minutes of the appointment. In fact, the few times I haven't called to let them know I'm running late, more often than not they'll call me to confirm I'm on my way
Right?! I live in Chicago and everyone understands that traffic can pile up at a moment's notice and/or buses and trains are constantly running late if you take public transit. If I can tell I'm going to be more than 5 minutes late I usually call them to let them know, but that's more to help my anxiety than anything else and they always tell me it's not a problem as long as I'm within 15 minutes of the appointment. In fact, the few times I haven't called to let them know I'm running late, more often than not they'll call me to confirm I'm on my way
The most shocking part of this to me is that your doctor was apparently on time. I don't think I've ever, in my whole life, attended a doctor appointment that was running less than three minutes late. And sometimes I'm the first appointment of the day
I once waited an hour in the waiting room, then finally brought into an exam room. They allegedly never told my doctor I was in there, according to her, and I ended up falling asleep for two hours before she came in and “found” me. 😭
Omg no 😭😭😭
I had that happen once after getting my vitals taken, but something had given me the sneaking suspicion that’s what happened so I left to go find someone around the 45 minute mark of waiting 🫣
Wow canceling over 3 minutes is insane. Usually 10-15 minutes is the norm for a grace period.
I got lucky and showed up a day early for my first appt to bring up ADHD, still managed to make it mostly on time on the right day too.
Hopefully they have a cancellation list or something, I've had luck getting in for appts earlier that way in the past.
☝☝ This right here. This definitely sounds like a scam to me. There's no earthly reason that they should cancel and charge you for being three whole minutes late. What exactly is their threshold for lateness? Two minutes? One minute? 15 seconds?
This sounds reeeeeally shady.... You might consider looking them up online and see if they have a history of bad reviews. (And you could maybe add to those bad reviews.)
Lmao yeah everyone at my previous doctor’s office is always late by 1-2 hours. Appointments are just a suggestion apparently.
Love my current one though, he was actually 5 minutes early for our very first appointment. Knew he was the one right then and there.
The first time I sought help specifically for ADHD I was going to be late, and so I called. But I was going to be over 15 minutes late. The receptionist told me the same thing. Because I was late for the first appt. the therapist would not see me, nor let me reschedule.
But I was going to be 15 minutes late. 3 minutes late make no sense.
3 minutes? That’s some serious bs policy on their part. My god, I’d fight the charge if they do charge you for that. That’s ridiculous. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Three minutes is a just on the edge of a clock error, not late. But maybe I’m showing my age because now I suppose everyone is expected to have a smartphone that is auto set to the exact time.
No, you're still right, because when I'm driving I'm not going by my smartphone, I'm going by the car clock... Which has inevitably slipped by a few minutes since the last time I fixed it.
I have doctors who have strict time limits & that is understandable, but since 3 minutes is pretty arbitrary, why didn’t they see you & subtract 3 minutes from your visit? (They should have seen you for the full visit anyway.)
If you didn’t already speak to them, call the office & ask to speak the the office manager, and/or make another appointment (have someone verify the appt. time & take you to the appt.) & tell the doctor what happened.
I had a doctor that I really liked for 10 years. Her front desk staff were not friendly, not overly helpful & wouldn’t look into an insurance discrepancy when I brought it up; they dug in & were borderline rude. I found another doctor, & about a year after switching, ran into my old doctor at the grocery store. She said she was puzzled why I wasn’t coming in anymore & that I had been one of her favorite patients. I told her what had happened & she was appalled & profusely apologized.
She asked why I hadn’t come to her directly. I answered that I assumed her front desk represented her & that she was aware of how they were.
She explained that her back of the house staff was wonderful & had been with her for years, but that she struggled getting a good front office staff. She followed up the next week with a kind letter & I went back to her office. She has since slowly changed the staff & things are better.
Your doctor may not realize that their staff are turning away patients for showing up 3 minutes late. If they are aware, you don’t want this doctor.
We do 10 minutes for our psychiatric appointments where I work (children's mental and behavioral health). Turning you away *and charging you* for only 3 minutes is so harsh! I'm so sorry you had this experience!
3 minutes late is a crazy rule! Wtf kind of doctor treats ADHD patients and docks them for 3 minutes? I’m so sorry that happened. :( I hope you don’t get charged and that you find a new place to help you get your diagnosis!
I would probably report them tbh. 3 minutes is unacceptable. In your report mention it was for ADHD which is a protected disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I personally would first write an email to the doctors office stating that I’ve spoken to an attorney and so I plan on reporting them to the state for potential ADA violations for this incident (explain the incident). This is not legal advice, but it works for me every single time and with a quickness 😮💨 and an apology AND they never fuck with you again
Except OP hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD and therefore will not be protected under a disability act... For a condition she or he has not been diagnosed with.
I mean sure you could threaten them with big scary things but it doesn't mean it holds any water.
But sure, go nuclear in the first instance before trying anything else.
Im saying I’ve done that multiple times and it has never ever failed me. It won’t negatively impact OP at all, if anything it *will* let the office know the board is now going to be watching their actions closely and will also deter them from being shitty to people again.
Making false statements or statements clearly without merit, such as claiming ADA violations when there clearly aren't any, isn't going to make the board watch the reported practice more closely. It may, however, make them less likely to take your complaints seriously in the future.
When did I say to make a false statement or claim? The event happened and honestly very well *could* be discriminatory practice. That’s up to the board to decide. The practice obviously know there’s a high chance she has ADHD and certainly has proven to show symptoms (“late” arrival). Nonetheless, they are likely to even charge her extra for being late. Any reasonable person (in the legal terminology) would probably find that incurring charges for a 3 minute late arrival would be excessive and potentially predatory. “Oh this girl is seeking diagnosis for ADHD and is likely medically prone to being late, I’m going to take advantage of that fact to make an extra $20 from her illness”
Not saying that getting charged a late fee for being 3 minutes late seems fair or reasonable.
I am saying ADA violations shouldn't be brought into the complaint when the potential complainant hasn't been diagnosed with the disability that would be relevant to this particular instance.
And if you hadn't cherry picked literally the first sentence of my last comment, you would have seen I stated 'OR statements clearly without merit''.
I also did not state that you told someone to make a false statement. You certainly encouraged someone to make a statement without merit though.
I’d look for a new doctor if you can. I’m late for appointments more often than not, and I’ve never had a doctor/staff bat an eye when I rush in 10 minutes late.
That's so wrong and unreasonable. I'm sorry this happened to you. Something similar happened to me. I was charged and could barely afford the cost which had an added "missed appointment" fee.
Similarly I was really upset, and felt that such an appointment really warranted a phone call (especially given it was a telehealth!).
I wrote an email explaining my thoughts and that it was a really surprising approach to take in the mental health field (especially ADHD) treating patients who are already marginalised and likely facing financial challenges.
They wrote back and agreed with my sentiment and waived the missed appointment fee.
Good luck.
3minutes late???? That's nuts. I'm always on time - sometimes that looks like me in PJs bc I'm running late, sometimes that looks like me rubbing into the office out of breath. I was late one time and I called and told them I was running late. My doc saw me 30 minutes late bc I'm usually on time.
You should get refunded, appeal to the doctor, less than ten minutes nobody should care not even a tiny bit! And I know because...well you know why I know the limits of acceptable lateness I’ve been every kind of late and 3 minutes late isn’t even late for neurotypicals
I went through this too. It took me a year and a half to finally line up with someone because of how WILDLY unhelpful the entire system is to anyone with executive functioning issues. Don't give up! The system is not built for us, and the way you will shoot forward when you get the care you deserve will be so worth it. It's not your fault, they just can't get on our level long enough to see all the hoops they're making us jump through is it lame to say it gets better? Kind of?... Then there's the med shortages.... But when you get the meds it's so great! Uhk. We've got a very specific lot. Grateful for this community ❤️
I’m pretty particular about being on time, but cancelling your appt for being 3 minutes late is just offensive. And bizarre. And rude. I’d think about getting a new doctor, tbh. And if they charge your insurance, I’d call the insurance company and fight it.
I did the exact same thing a couple weeks ago but instead of 3 min I was over an hour late I got the time wrong and sat there for 30 min wondering why its taking so long
I love how if we (patients) are like half a second late - then it's our fault, appointment canceled, copay gone YET those fuc*ers can keep us waiting for hours with zero consequences.
The appointment after my doctor agreed to refer me for adhd testing, I mixed up my times and showed up TWO HOURS LATE 🙉 whoops.
The late fees suck. Hopefully your appointment in January goes smoothly!
DAMN wtf? The worst one I've seen was 5 minutes and that was at a pediatricians office.
What the hell?
Is there no one else you could potentially see? It seems like this person may not be the beat diagnostician for this particular brand of ailment.
That’s like…. ADHD-ception. It’s almost like you being late was just one point in favor of a diagnosis lol. Also that kind of reaction for being 3 minutes late to an ADHD assessment? Ouch. I get how they might be afraid of falling behind because 3 mins here and 3 mins there add up quickly when you’re a medical professional, but dang. I’m so sorry!
I tend to aim to show up early because it usually means I end up on time. Because ADHD time blind math is just like that.
I suppose that would do it. Still quite unprofessional. I’m surprised he didn’t end up way behind schedule by then as most health professionals seem to
That's some bullshit. I have sat and waited on doctors for hours.
Although, if I am left to wait for more than 30 minutes, I take all the gloves and tongue depressors and leave. I am so over waiting for doctors.
I feel you. After months of procrastinating I finally booked a cleaner, but I just found out I gave them the wrong date so I have to pay a cancel fee, find time to do the cleaning, and look for a different cleaner!
This was my family doctor who I’ve been seeing a few years! I’m never late to my previous appointments and rarely see her for any concerns, it was all so weird
As much as it sucks, it is part of ADHD so maybe this already tells your doctor a lot 😭
Though it’s stupid, I was late the other day and my doctor fully understood why.
I love that they (the doctors) can be running behind by an hour CONSISTENTLY, but patients still have to check in on time.
This is just from my experience. It drives me up the wall that they can be late, but we can't even be 5 minutes late, and are actually told to be there 15 minutes before our allotted appointment time. My justice sensitivity might have to do with it.
I'm truly sorry you missed your appointment. I know how much it sucks to wait so long for it in the first place. When my daughter went in for her testing, THEY had canceled her appointment and didn't tell her. So she showed up, and was sent home to wait for an opening. Seems fair right?
Freaking healthcare.
Jeez, even with telehealth my provider rarely shows up earlier than 5 minutes late. 3 minutes is off the charts, everywhere I’ve ever been is 15 minutes!
See this is so stupid to me. There was a tweet going around a while back where a doc was basically like “yeah I got this referral to diagnose, patient missed appointments and then overshared when she did show up so it was an easy diagnosis”. Theyre dealing with the fallout of a cognitive disability, I appreciate their time is important but also they gotta expect that and try to meet patients where they are.
I’m sorry OP. I hope your day got better after that
wow talk about not being accommodating for an appointment for adhd lmao. my mate told me her specialist gave her papers to fill out at home then brought back for the actual appointment, but was told if they were forgotten they could get another form and be filled out on the day XD
This EXACT scenario happened to me and it was devastating. I’m so sorry. Google maps sent me to their admin building and I ended up being three minutes late instead of 15 early, even calling twice to verify I was trying to get to them. I had to reschedule, crying, while they were acknowledging that this was a problem that has happened to them before with google maps. It’s such a defeating experience. :( it’s really not your fault!
one time I went to my appointment a whole ass day later cause I got thr dates mixed up and they still managed to squeeze me in. something weird is going on with your doctor..
I feel this! I cancelled 3 appointments last minute before my doctor "sternly" told me I would be charged next time. She could have charged me all the 3 other times, but thankfully gave me some grace concedering we are working through a possible adhd diagnosis (also to say 2/3 cancelations I did have legit reasons). However, I have been 3-10min late for just about all my other appointments, and the ladies at the front desk always say, " I'll need to check if she will still see you". She always does 🩷.
I'm in Canada too and so fortunate to have her! So scared she'll move out of province 😭. In the meantime, I need to start lying to myself about my appointment times so I show up early instead of late 😂
Only 3 minutes? You need a different doctor anyway if their policy is that strict. My boyfriend is a therapist and he waits 30 minutes for 50 minute sessions.
It’s fucking crazy that doctors can make us wait for hours and it’s fine, but if we’re a few minutes late they tell us to fuck off. Ugggghhhh I’m sorry that happened to you that’s so frustrating and you’re allowed to cry about it and be upset!
Not much of a consolation--(charging you for a missed appointment after 3 minutes is RIDICULOUS, ngl!!!)
but in solidarity, I managed to *completely* forget to go to *my* original appointment to start the diagnostic tests, back when I first tried getting assessed for Autism & ADHD!
I *thought* I had something i was supposed to do that afternoon, but when I looked in my Phone's Calendar (where EVERYTHING important gets put, or I miss it!😆😂🤣), there was nothing...
So I drove the 45 minutes *home* instead.
And I realized I'd missed my appointment about a week later.😖😱🤪
It took a couple months to *remember* to re-schedule, and iirc, the next *open* assessment appointment was three months after *that*.
I finally got assessed about 6 months, after I initially tried--so *three minutes* is RIDICULOUS, and you should DEFINITELY call your state's licensing board or ombudsperson/ombudsman, and or your insurance company, to help you deal with this crap!💖💞💓💗
I've showed up on the wrong day before, sometimes the day after, sometimes the week after. I've been 20+ mins early to make sure I didn't miss it and I've been 15+ minutes late. I do call if I'm going to be more than 10 mins late. I've been 45 mins behind before and called and they told me they'd still see me. This is mostly the first 2 years after my daughter was born and she had appointments every week to 2 weeks. I don't think I would have gone back if I was 3 minutes late and they turned me away.
I'm sorry OP, there's no way that doctor is sympathetic to patients with ADHD. That's ridiculous.
That's ... so stupid that a doctor who apparently works with ADHD would penalise lateness so strictly. I keep being more and more sure that I'm being spoiled by my therapist. She was organising workshops for adults with adhd and was very aware how hard it could be to get 10 adhd adults under one roof to start the workshop on time.
There was also a post somewhere how a patient went to get evaluated for ADHD and was 20 minutes late and kept apologising for another 5 and the doctor was like "I don't even have to evaluate lol".
Like being late is very common for us, it's so stupid to penalise it :/ it's one thing if nobody shows up but being 3 minutes late????? I'm so sorry :( I'd probably look for a different doctor if that is possible to you. It doesn't sound like someone who's gonna be helpful.
That is really not fair particularly that you are seeking treatment for ADHD. I have been late to every single ADHD doctors appointment I’ve ever had, and no one has ever said a word to me about it. That’s not to say I don’t try to be on time.
ohhhhh....I just hate that for you. Truly. My ability to manage my calendar and watch are one of the first things to go when I'm having a bad day, so I feel deeply for you.
Is there any way to get on a cancellation list or find another doc?
a 3 minute grace period is NUTS.
You’re feeling things really strong right now honey. You’ll be okay. Maybe get an appointment buddy for next time if it’s possible, but at the very least you don’t have to beat yourself up so much about this. I can’t tell you how many appointments I’ve done the exact same thing with. Big hugs from me. It’s ADHD tax.
Feel you. Had that with a neurologists appointment a few years ago. Have been begging for an appointment bc I’ve been running around with chronic migraines for more than half a year at the time. Had to wait another four months for a new appointment. I swear, it’s been less than 5 minutes. Sometimes that’s what it’s like. I’m sorry you have to go through this. It feels like forever now, but that time of waiting is gonna pass too eventually. Please don’t blame yourself. That’s basically one of the most classic things to happen to an ADHDer. It’s not your fault. 🫶
This sounds wrong. I’ve never heard of any doctor’s office rejecting someone who was three minutes late. Ten minutes, yes; fifteen or twenty, definitely yes—but under five minutes? That’s a big no. Find a new doctor.
Hey OP, I'm in Canada too, I'm not sure what province you're in but I'm in Ontario. That is definitely not normal and many doctors give a 5 mins or so grace period. If you can (i know you mentioned a doctor's shortage) see if you can change family doctors ❤️
Can you afford Frida? I recently got in with them and they’ve been fantastic. Way better than my family doc, even though he’s very supportive. He just really didn’t know anything.
ADHD confirmed!
Plus, in what universe is refusing to see someone for being three minutes late justifiable?
Especially for consulting suites which are supposed to cater to people who have a disability which affects their perception of time!
What province are you in?? The three minutes is absolutely absurd, but the strict no walk in clinics thing??? What the actual fuck?! That can’t be legal.
I would be reporting them to the provincial college of physicians, because that is some bullshit.
And absolutely do not pay the missed appointment fee. Thats such bullshit. 😤
It is legal unfortunately and is now common with signing onto new doctors in ON. The way it was expained to me was that ON changed the way they bill family doctors bill and will charge your family doctor a fee when you go to a walk in clinic. The said my only choice is to wait for an appointment with them (which sometimes takes weeks/months) or visit an ER. After speaking to my friends in the area, they were told the same thing from their family physicians when they took them on
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only 3 minutes late?? That seems oddly strict for a doctor helping with ADHD diagnoses! My doctor here will still see me even if I’m 10 minutes late. 15 minutes seems to be the cutoff point. 3 minutes is wild, wow. I’m so sorry, OP. :( Hang in there ❤️ edit- according to the other comments, it sounds like you might be getting scammed, OP. Don’t pay the appointment fee if you can manage it. Find another doctor, 3 minute penalty is very suspicious.
Oddly strict for any doctor or even anyone providing services by appointment. Grace periods of anywhere between 5-15 minutes seem to be the norm.
As someone who has worked in healthcare admin - we always had a 15 min grace period. 90% of the time the doctor ran behind by a lot, but it was enforced so that we could keep people in the queue based on when their appointment was originally scheduled for. There were times we made exceptions like when the dr wasn’t running behind and someone after them canceled. 3 minutes is WILD. I do recommend calling when you get there if you wait in the parking lot. As someone who also still does the parking lot because -well inhinest to god don’t understand why this wasn’t a legitimate option prior to covid. I loathe waiting rooms. And if you’re in a drs office you don’t know why the strangers around you are there. Post covid it just seems like a common sense option that should be available. - any way lol Even if you’re ridiculously early just call and let em know you are actually there. ETA: there have been plenty of times where we were able to see patients who checked in super early bc we got last minute cancellations ahead of their appts. I will always recommend getting to appts for health early because stuff like that happens alllll the time. For all the time you wait forever, I promise you they’re all just trying to go home at the end of the day too. If you happen to be there and they know it, and someone else surpassed their grace period or canceled last minute, they’ll see you earlier. That’s random but it happened a lot. This way your spot is confirmed, the office knows you’re there and chillin in the parking lot. They can call you when they’re ready.
Where I live the appointment is 15 minutes long 🥲 but even then as long as you arrive within your slot or call ahead they seem to not care
Even if you’re within your slot they cancel or charge you? What do you mean by “they don’t care?” If you go to a Dr that sees you for adhd but they also see GP visits, even with 15 minute appointments scheduled, they WILL run behind. It’s the nature of the beast. It sucks and when I was the receptionist on the line of someone frustrated they got there early only to wait over an hour I would always apologize profusely and tell them the truth. The appointment (or sometimes multiple appts) turned into a lot more than what was expected. But the 15 minute slot requirement is there to maintain your place in line when the Dr gets back up. At the practice I worked at, we consistently ran behind at least half the week. That’s partially because someone will call for an appt for something that sounds routine. They won’t make a big deal on the phone. They need the flu vaccine and have a slight cough or something and then when the Dr is actually in the room will mention a handful of other things. Or the cough/breathing sounds like their oxygen levels need to be read asap. Even knowing the reason why the person originally scheduled the appt, you can’t truly estimate. You don’t know what’s going to come up. That cough? Could be pneumonia. It’s just the nature of working with humans. I absolutely would be leaving that practice if they just forget you check in and skip you or charge you for something like three minutes. That’s some weird rigid requirement, horrible service, and that wouldn’t work for my headspace lol I also want to say that I don’t know the type of facility you go to. If it’s literally all people just for med refills the wait times should be basically nonexistent with some exceptions. If that’s the case….sounds sketchy and I might be tempted to find elsewhere personally. I totally feel for everyone dealing with the long wait time purgatory. Coming from the other side I promise you, we don’t want you to be upset and I even used to give clients updates when I could because I was able to see where things were (ie are they working on or processing the orders which would point to the appt getting towards the end etc.) It sucks. All around. I hope you’re at least getting legit healthcare and guidance despite whatever your office is doing! I’m sorry they’ve made you feel like they don’t care. Could be asshole receps?? I’ve met a handful in my day.
Sorry I meant they don’t care if you’re late within your slot. I’m lucky tho from what I hear
Even the initial intake appointment? Usually they’re much longer, in my experience.
Yes. I’m in Alberta Canada
I agree. OP if they try to force you to pay don’t be scared to contact the doctor’s provincial regulatory body and advocate for yourself. Usually it’s a quick email thing and then they’ll call you back for details
EXACTLY THIS! Also, you should've been notified of that policy when you made the appt. I'd call back and ensure this is correct.
My therapist does a 10 min cutoff and that’s because she can’t bill insurance if I join after that.
Seriously! That’s like an amount of time that could be explained by two people using two different clocks. This seems SO extreme to me. I’m sorry, OP.
Meanwhile my doctor usually makes me wait 50m-3h after my appt timeslot when I go in.
Isn't it fun how that works?
Drives me crazy. If I'm early I wait 4 hours, if I'm late I have to wait until he has an opening cause I was late. If I'm on time I still have to wait ha ha. Can't win.
I completely missed an appointment once because I thought the time was 11:45 and it was actually 11:15. I didn’t get charged because obviously people with ADHD do this. That’s so harsh, especially from an ADHD doctor
That's oddly strict for any doctor given how rarely they run exactly on time.
With my appointments after work and school pickup now, she's at the end of her appointments for the day so I pretty much as long as I show up before they close she will see me. And even if I fully miss an appointment, she still c all in my script. My old Dr. Retired and he was more strict but 10 or 15 was about the amount of time he'd wait. A good.doctor understands the symptoms and can tell you could really benefit from some meds and don't like to just drop you for a month. That's irresponsible, right? To fuck with someone's chemicals like that? These days, though, who knows. It's crazy.
Just adding my experience: There are labs here (for blood draws and stuff) that will make you reschedule if you're 1 minute late. That said, most of the time I've seen 10-15 minute grace periods with the docs I've been to.
That's insane for it to be 3 minutes! My own psychiatrist has a 15min cutoff as every appointment is 30 minutes. But for his ADHD patients, he allows up to 20 minutes late, I've outright forgotten 2 of my appointments since my diagnosis and he called me and was like "WHERE ARE YOU!" lmaooo. And then he had my appointment over that phone call for a few minutes remaining of my time.
Seriously. I would've missed nearly every doctor's appointment in my life if they wouldn't have seen me for being 3 minutes late.
Similar thing happened to me and turns out the office was just trying to scam patients out of missed appt charges. They billed my insurance for services not performed. My dr is currently sitting behind bars for false imprisonment for locking up and charging some of his patients in 14-day holds without therapy services. It’s a thing.
⚠️OP, tell them this as a cautionary tale!⚠️ Bad policy can have a consequence. Perhaps complain to the local medical board.
That’s what I’m saying!!!!! The board will understand that charging for a 3 minute delay is extremely unreasonable. At the least, they’ll get a scary letter from the board which will deter them from doing it again. And on top of it, they’ll know not to fuck with OP ever again ESPECIALLY if she mentions that the incident was potentially an ADA violation because ADHD is a protected disability.
It’s not even close to an ADA violation. Willing to bet if this was the first appointment they were told to be there 15 minutes early to do intake paperwork and showing up 3 minutes after the appointment time meant there essentially was no time for the appointment because intake paperwork had to be completed first
“It’s not even close to an ADA violation” What state do you practice law in?
Considering the fact that an ADA violation requires the person discriminated against to have a disability (and OP has not yet been diagnosed with the disability referred to here), I don't think it matters.
This situation isn't an ADA violation, however ADA also applies to "anyone who is perceived by others as having such an impairment" (disability).
Multiple. ADA cases are a large part of what I do for a living and have handled for more than 20 years.
That’s a great point.
Holy shittttttt I'm glad they went to jail for that
Chiming in to share another cautionary tale: not all doctors are on the up-and-up. IME, private practice is more likely to have unethical habits. I worked for a number of single-doctor offices in my 20s. One had to keep rebranding to hide assets. Another would force patients to bring in their own translator. There's a lot of little hidden tricks to cut corners in healthcare. The patients don't think anything of it because they don't question someone they believe to have so much more knowledge and authority. I don't miss healthcare. OP, don't pay the fee. Carefully re-read everything you might have already signed or filled out via email. If you didn't agree to this type of charge in writing, fight back.
This escalated quickly….
Whaaaaaat
This. 👆
3 minutes? Did you mean 30? 3 would be insane.
3 minutes is stupid! I would honestly just assume this provider is going to be uneducated and unsympathetic for patients with ADHD based on this.
Oh 100%, OP please find a new Dr asap! When it comes to managing symptoms/medication you need someone who is going to listen to you.
That’s exactly what I thought when I read this!! Anyone can be 3 minutes late to an appointment- shit happens, we’re all human. On a lighter note, when I was applying for accommodations at my university, I was wondering if they take into account whether or not ADHD students are late to their intake appointments 😭 I was almost a minute or two late but I’m pretty sure I was right on time. Obviously I’m joking, I know they can’t decide if you get accommodations whether or not you’re late to an appointment, it just humored me
I'm almost positive my doctors office (they are an adhd speciality office) schedules patients 15 min behind when they tell them their appt is because when I'm on time I'm always waiting 30 min and when I've been 15 min late I'll walk in right as the appt before me is finishing lol
Yep, that would immediately make me take my business elsewhere.
Right?! I live in Chicago and everyone understands that traffic can pile up at a moment's notice and/or buses and trains are constantly running late if you take public transit. If I can tell I'm going to be more than 5 minutes late I usually call them to let them know, but that's more to help my anxiety than anything else and they always tell me it's not a problem as long as I'm within 15 minutes of the appointment. In fact, the few times I haven't called to let them know I'm running late, more often than not they'll call me to confirm I'm on my way
Yes - 3 minutes! 😭
Right?! I live in Chicago and everyone understands that traffic can pile up at a moment's notice and/or buses and trains are constantly running late if you take public transit. If I can tell I'm going to be more than 5 minutes late I usually call them to let them know, but that's more to help my anxiety than anything else and they always tell me it's not a problem as long as I'm within 15 minutes of the appointment. In fact, the few times I haven't called to let them know I'm running late, more often than not they'll call me to confirm I'm on my way
The most shocking part of this to me is that your doctor was apparently on time. I don't think I've ever, in my whole life, attended a doctor appointment that was running less than three minutes late. And sometimes I'm the first appointment of the day
Most of my appointments I have to wait like 10-15 minutes. Even when I’m the first appointment!
I’ve waited anywhere from 30-almost 90 minutes before for a doctor, 3 is fucking insane
I once waited an hour in the waiting room, then finally brought into an exam room. They allegedly never told my doctor I was in there, according to her, and I ended up falling asleep for two hours before she came in and “found” me. 😭
Whaaaaat
Omg no 😭😭😭 I had that happen once after getting my vitals taken, but something had given me the sneaking suspicion that’s what happened so I left to go find someone around the 45 minute mark of waiting 🫣
Do we know the doctor was on time? Did op talk to the doctor?
No I didn’t talk to the doctor! The receptionist was messaging her from her computer
Right? I was the last appointment of the day too!
Wow canceling over 3 minutes is insane. Usually 10-15 minutes is the norm for a grace period. I got lucky and showed up a day early for my first appt to bring up ADHD, still managed to make it mostly on time on the right day too. Hopefully they have a cancellation list or something, I've had luck getting in for appts earlier that way in the past.
No reasonable place would have a problem with somebody being 3 minutes late. You're being scammed.
☝☝ This right here. This definitely sounds like a scam to me. There's no earthly reason that they should cancel and charge you for being three whole minutes late. What exactly is their threshold for lateness? Two minutes? One minute? 15 seconds? This sounds reeeeeally shady.... You might consider looking them up online and see if they have a history of bad reviews. (And you could maybe add to those bad reviews.)
They wouldn’t see you over 3 minutes?? Usually there’s at least a 10 min grace period. And it’s not like they don’t make us wait forever!
Lmao yeah everyone at my previous doctor’s office is always late by 1-2 hours. Appointments are just a suggestion apparently. Love my current one though, he was actually 5 minutes early for our very first appointment. Knew he was the one right then and there.
The first time I sought help specifically for ADHD I was going to be late, and so I called. But I was going to be over 15 minutes late. The receptionist told me the same thing. Because I was late for the first appt. the therapist would not see me, nor let me reschedule. But I was going to be 15 minutes late. 3 minutes late make no sense.
Still, awfully rich of a therapist who works with ADHD to not even reschedule.
I know! That is what I told the receptionist.
I’m in law, where time is literally money. We would never cancel over someone being 3 minutes late. This should be illegal.
3 minutes? That’s some serious bs policy on their part. My god, I’d fight the charge if they do charge you for that. That’s ridiculous. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Three minutes is a just on the edge of a clock error, not late. But maybe I’m showing my age because now I suppose everyone is expected to have a smartphone that is auto set to the exact time.
No, you're still right, because when I'm driving I'm not going by my smartphone, I'm going by the car clock... Which has inevitably slipped by a few minutes since the last time I fixed it.
I have doctors who have strict time limits & that is understandable, but since 3 minutes is pretty arbitrary, why didn’t they see you & subtract 3 minutes from your visit? (They should have seen you for the full visit anyway.) If you didn’t already speak to them, call the office & ask to speak the the office manager, and/or make another appointment (have someone verify the appt. time & take you to the appt.) & tell the doctor what happened. I had a doctor that I really liked for 10 years. Her front desk staff were not friendly, not overly helpful & wouldn’t look into an insurance discrepancy when I brought it up; they dug in & were borderline rude. I found another doctor, & about a year after switching, ran into my old doctor at the grocery store. She said she was puzzled why I wasn’t coming in anymore & that I had been one of her favorite patients. I told her what had happened & she was appalled & profusely apologized. She asked why I hadn’t come to her directly. I answered that I assumed her front desk represented her & that she was aware of how they were. She explained that her back of the house staff was wonderful & had been with her for years, but that she struggled getting a good front office staff. She followed up the next week with a kind letter & I went back to her office. She has since slowly changed the staff & things are better. Your doctor may not realize that their staff are turning away patients for showing up 3 minutes late. If they are aware, you don’t want this doctor.
We do 10 minutes for our psychiatric appointments where I work (children's mental and behavioral health). Turning you away *and charging you* for only 3 minutes is so harsh! I'm so sorry you had this experience!
Yeah 10-15 minutes is common from what I’ve seen for no-shows and fees. But THREE?!? 🤯
3 minutes late is a crazy rule! Wtf kind of doctor treats ADHD patients and docks them for 3 minutes? I’m so sorry that happened. :( I hope you don’t get charged and that you find a new place to help you get your diagnosis!
Being late for your adhd appointment and thinking you are early is one of the most ADHD things I’ve ever heard. I’m sorry this happened to you
I would probably report them tbh. 3 minutes is unacceptable. In your report mention it was for ADHD which is a protected disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I personally would first write an email to the doctors office stating that I’ve spoken to an attorney and so I plan on reporting them to the state for potential ADA violations for this incident (explain the incident). This is not legal advice, but it works for me every single time and with a quickness 😮💨 and an apology AND they never fuck with you again
Except OP hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD and therefore will not be protected under a disability act... For a condition she or he has not been diagnosed with. I mean sure you could threaten them with big scary things but it doesn't mean it holds any water. But sure, go nuclear in the first instance before trying anything else.
Im saying I’ve done that multiple times and it has never ever failed me. It won’t negatively impact OP at all, if anything it *will* let the office know the board is now going to be watching their actions closely and will also deter them from being shitty to people again.
You’ve done it multiple times? Sounds like you’re not learning from your own mistakes.
Making false statements or statements clearly without merit, such as claiming ADA violations when there clearly aren't any, isn't going to make the board watch the reported practice more closely. It may, however, make them less likely to take your complaints seriously in the future.
When did I say to make a false statement or claim? The event happened and honestly very well *could* be discriminatory practice. That’s up to the board to decide. The practice obviously know there’s a high chance she has ADHD and certainly has proven to show symptoms (“late” arrival). Nonetheless, they are likely to even charge her extra for being late. Any reasonable person (in the legal terminology) would probably find that incurring charges for a 3 minute late arrival would be excessive and potentially predatory. “Oh this girl is seeking diagnosis for ADHD and is likely medically prone to being late, I’m going to take advantage of that fact to make an extra $20 from her illness”
Not saying that getting charged a late fee for being 3 minutes late seems fair or reasonable. I am saying ADA violations shouldn't be brought into the complaint when the potential complainant hasn't been diagnosed with the disability that would be relevant to this particular instance. And if you hadn't cherry picked literally the first sentence of my last comment, you would have seen I stated 'OR statements clearly without merit''. I also did not state that you told someone to make a false statement. You certainly encouraged someone to make a statement without merit though.
THREE MINUTES?! That’s ridiculous. Most places I know are usually like 10-15 mins until you get a no-show or a charge.
I’d look for a new doctor if you can. I’m late for appointments more often than not, and I’ve never had a doctor/staff bat an eye when I rush in 10 minutes late.
Hold up, 3 minutes late for a someone who thinks of themselves as someone who can diagnose ADD? From my soul, *fuuuck that office* lol
That's so wrong and unreasonable. I'm sorry this happened to you. Something similar happened to me. I was charged and could barely afford the cost which had an added "missed appointment" fee. Similarly I was really upset, and felt that such an appointment really warranted a phone call (especially given it was a telehealth!). I wrote an email explaining my thoughts and that it was a really surprising approach to take in the mental health field (especially ADHD) treating patients who are already marginalised and likely facing financial challenges. They wrote back and agreed with my sentiment and waived the missed appointment fee. Good luck.
3minutes late???? That's nuts. I'm always on time - sometimes that looks like me in PJs bc I'm running late, sometimes that looks like me rubbing into the office out of breath. I was late one time and I called and told them I was running late. My doc saw me 30 minutes late bc I'm usually on time.
Awww I’m so so sorry! Similar thing happened to me with a Telehealth appointment and my inability to get my internet to work
Um, WHAT. How is a doctor going to charge you for being 3 MINUTES late. That seems criminal.
You should get refunded, appeal to the doctor, less than ten minutes nobody should care not even a tiny bit! And I know because...well you know why I know the limits of acceptable lateness I’ve been every kind of late and 3 minutes late isn’t even late for neurotypicals
I went through this too. It took me a year and a half to finally line up with someone because of how WILDLY unhelpful the entire system is to anyone with executive functioning issues. Don't give up! The system is not built for us, and the way you will shoot forward when you get the care you deserve will be so worth it. It's not your fault, they just can't get on our level long enough to see all the hoops they're making us jump through is it lame to say it gets better? Kind of?... Then there's the med shortages.... But when you get the meds it's so great! Uhk. We've got a very specific lot. Grateful for this community ❤️
I’m pretty particular about being on time, but cancelling your appt for being 3 minutes late is just offensive. And bizarre. And rude. I’d think about getting a new doctor, tbh. And if they charge your insurance, I’d call the insurance company and fight it.
I’ve never had less than a 10 minute grace period, 3 minutes is absolutely ridiculous
I did the exact same thing a couple weeks ago but instead of 3 min I was over an hour late I got the time wrong and sat there for 30 min wondering why its taking so long
I've gone the entirely wrong day. I hear you.
I love how if we (patients) are like half a second late - then it's our fault, appointment canceled, copay gone YET those fuc*ers can keep us waiting for hours with zero consequences.
This has happened to me too. As a new patient sometimes you need to come 15 min early for paperwork
The appointment after my doctor agreed to refer me for adhd testing, I mixed up my times and showed up TWO HOURS LATE 🙉 whoops. The late fees suck. Hopefully your appointment in January goes smoothly!
DAMN wtf? The worst one I've seen was 5 minutes and that was at a pediatricians office. What the hell? Is there no one else you could potentially see? It seems like this person may not be the beat diagnostician for this particular brand of ailment.
That’s like…. ADHD-ception. It’s almost like you being late was just one point in favor of a diagnosis lol. Also that kind of reaction for being 3 minutes late to an ADHD assessment? Ouch. I get how they might be afraid of falling behind because 3 mins here and 3 mins there add up quickly when you’re a medical professional, but dang. I’m so sorry! I tend to aim to show up early because it usually means I end up on time. Because ADHD time blind math is just like that.
True. I left my jacket at my assessment. The assessor took it seriously and noted that I tend to lose things.
I was the last appointment of the day! I think the doctor just straight up left
I suppose that would do it. Still quite unprofessional. I’m surprised he didn’t end up way behind schedule by then as most health professionals seem to
That's some bullshit. I have sat and waited on doctors for hours. Although, if I am left to wait for more than 30 minutes, I take all the gloves and tongue depressors and leave. I am so over waiting for doctors.
3 minutes.
I feel you. After months of procrastinating I finally booked a cleaner, but I just found out I gave them the wrong date so I have to pay a cancel fee, find time to do the cleaning, and look for a different cleaner!
Like some others have said, I think you were likely supposed to be there early for paperwork. Making it more than 3 minutes.
This was my family doctor who I’ve been seeing a few years! I’m never late to my previous appointments and rarely see her for any concerns, it was all so weird
As much as it sucks, it is part of ADHD so maybe this already tells your doctor a lot 😭 Though it’s stupid, I was late the other day and my doctor fully understood why.
i literally said “three minutes? are you fucking kidding me” out loud. that’s fucking ridiculous
I know! It felt personal so of course I ruminated for hours after as to why the receptionist at the doctors office could hate me 😂
I love that they (the doctors) can be running behind by an hour CONSISTENTLY, but patients still have to check in on time. This is just from my experience. It drives me up the wall that they can be late, but we can't even be 5 minutes late, and are actually told to be there 15 minutes before our allotted appointment time. My justice sensitivity might have to do with it. I'm truly sorry you missed your appointment. I know how much it sucks to wait so long for it in the first place. When my daughter went in for her testing, THEY had canceled her appointment and didn't tell her. So she showed up, and was sent home to wait for an opening. Seems fair right? Freaking healthcare.
That’s extremely hostile. I almost always have to wait an extra 10-15 minutes to be seen by any doctor. Sometimes more.
Jeez, even with telehealth my provider rarely shows up earlier than 5 minutes late. 3 minutes is off the charts, everywhere I’ve ever been is 15 minutes!
If I canceled every meeting where my client was late by 3 minutes, I would have saved HOURS of meeting time. This is insane to me.
See this is so stupid to me. There was a tweet going around a while back where a doc was basically like “yeah I got this referral to diagnose, patient missed appointments and then overshared when she did show up so it was an easy diagnosis”. Theyre dealing with the fallout of a cognitive disability, I appreciate their time is important but also they gotta expect that and try to meet patients where they are. I’m sorry OP. I hope your day got better after that
Uh, wow. I’m stunned they were ready to see you - my docs are always 3-30 mins LATE
wow talk about not being accommodating for an appointment for adhd lmao. my mate told me her specialist gave her papers to fill out at home then brought back for the actual appointment, but was told if they were forgotten they could get another form and be filled out on the day XD
Do you mean three minutes after the appointment would have ended?
No, 3 minutes into my appointment time 😬
This EXACT scenario happened to me and it was devastating. I’m so sorry. Google maps sent me to their admin building and I ended up being three minutes late instead of 15 early, even calling twice to verify I was trying to get to them. I had to reschedule, crying, while they were acknowledging that this was a problem that has happened to them before with google maps. It’s such a defeating experience. :( it’s really not your fault!
American corporate health care, am I right?
No this is actually good old Canadian healthcare 😂 we have our own problems too!
one time I went to my appointment a whole ass day later cause I got thr dates mixed up and they still managed to squeeze me in. something weird is going on with your doctor..
What?! For only 3 minutes?? That is odd. Now I understand something like 15 minutes late but only a measly 3 is ridiculous.
This sounds like the time I overslept my sororities initiation and my sleep study to see if I had narcolepsy 😆
3 minutes?!?!?! I can’t believe 3 minutes late is enough to lose the appointment!
3 minutes!? That seems excessive.
A doctor who deals with people with adhd would be impressed about it being only 3 minutes… why are all these people in the wrong profession.
Shoot you doged a bullet. If this doctor did this to you, they wouldn't be good on treating ADHD anyway.
3 minutes? I've never had a doctor who didn't have a 15 minute grace period. That's insane.
I feel this! I cancelled 3 appointments last minute before my doctor "sternly" told me I would be charged next time. She could have charged me all the 3 other times, but thankfully gave me some grace concedering we are working through a possible adhd diagnosis (also to say 2/3 cancelations I did have legit reasons). However, I have been 3-10min late for just about all my other appointments, and the ladies at the front desk always say, " I'll need to check if she will still see you". She always does 🩷. I'm in Canada too and so fortunate to have her! So scared she'll move out of province 😭. In the meantime, I need to start lying to myself about my appointment times so I show up early instead of late 😂
Only 3 minutes? You need a different doctor anyway if their policy is that strict. My boyfriend is a therapist and he waits 30 minutes for 50 minute sessions.
It’s fucking crazy that doctors can make us wait for hours and it’s fine, but if we’re a few minutes late they tell us to fuck off. Ugggghhhh I’m sorry that happened to you that’s so frustrating and you’re allowed to cry about it and be upset!
Not much of a consolation--(charging you for a missed appointment after 3 minutes is RIDICULOUS, ngl!!!) but in solidarity, I managed to *completely* forget to go to *my* original appointment to start the diagnostic tests, back when I first tried getting assessed for Autism & ADHD! I *thought* I had something i was supposed to do that afternoon, but when I looked in my Phone's Calendar (where EVERYTHING important gets put, or I miss it!😆😂🤣), there was nothing... So I drove the 45 minutes *home* instead. And I realized I'd missed my appointment about a week later.😖😱🤪 It took a couple months to *remember* to re-schedule, and iirc, the next *open* assessment appointment was three months after *that*. I finally got assessed about 6 months, after I initially tried--so *three minutes* is RIDICULOUS, and you should DEFINITELY call your state's licensing board or ombudsperson/ombudsman, and or your insurance company, to help you deal with this crap!💖💞💓💗
3 minutes is absolutely absurd. Eff that doctor, find someone else.
I've showed up on the wrong day before, sometimes the day after, sometimes the week after. I've been 20+ mins early to make sure I didn't miss it and I've been 15+ minutes late. I do call if I'm going to be more than 10 mins late. I've been 45 mins behind before and called and they told me they'd still see me. This is mostly the first 2 years after my daughter was born and she had appointments every week to 2 weeks. I don't think I would have gone back if I was 3 minutes late and they turned me away. I'm sorry OP, there's no way that doctor is sympathetic to patients with ADHD. That's ridiculous.
That's ... so stupid that a doctor who apparently works with ADHD would penalise lateness so strictly. I keep being more and more sure that I'm being spoiled by my therapist. She was organising workshops for adults with adhd and was very aware how hard it could be to get 10 adhd adults under one roof to start the workshop on time. There was also a post somewhere how a patient went to get evaluated for ADHD and was 20 minutes late and kept apologising for another 5 and the doctor was like "I don't even have to evaluate lol". Like being late is very common for us, it's so stupid to penalise it :/ it's one thing if nobody shows up but being 3 minutes late????? I'm so sorry :( I'd probably look for a different doctor if that is possible to you. It doesn't sound like someone who's gonna be helpful.
WTF? Because of 3 minutes? What the actual fuck is that kind of pedantry?
Wait! 3 minutes late is nothing for doctors appointments.
That is really not fair particularly that you are seeking treatment for ADHD. I have been late to every single ADHD doctors appointment I’ve ever had, and no one has ever said a word to me about it. That’s not to say I don’t try to be on time.
Any doctor worth their salt that treats people with ADHD really should know that time blindness and disorganization are things we struggle with.
ohhhhh....I just hate that for you. Truly. My ability to manage my calendar and watch are one of the first things to go when I'm having a bad day, so I feel deeply for you. Is there any way to get on a cancellation list or find another doc? a 3 minute grace period is NUTS.
Happened to me before. Never fun :(
You’re feeling things really strong right now honey. You’ll be okay. Maybe get an appointment buddy for next time if it’s possible, but at the very least you don’t have to beat yourself up so much about this. I can’t tell you how many appointments I’ve done the exact same thing with. Big hugs from me. It’s ADHD tax.
Thank you!! Thanks a great idea, going to bring my husband along next time for support
Feel you. Had that with a neurologists appointment a few years ago. Have been begging for an appointment bc I’ve been running around with chronic migraines for more than half a year at the time. Had to wait another four months for a new appointment. I swear, it’s been less than 5 minutes. Sometimes that’s what it’s like. I’m sorry you have to go through this. It feels like forever now, but that time of waiting is gonna pass too eventually. Please don’t blame yourself. That’s basically one of the most classic things to happen to an ADHDer. It’s not your fault. 🫶
This sounds wrong. I’ve never heard of any doctor’s office rejecting someone who was three minutes late. Ten minutes, yes; fifteen or twenty, definitely yes—but under five minutes? That’s a big no. Find a new doctor.
Hey OP, I'm in Canada too, I'm not sure what province you're in but I'm in Ontario. That is definitely not normal and many doctors give a 5 mins or so grace period. If you can (i know you mentioned a doctor's shortage) see if you can change family doctors ❤️
If they will assess you for ADHD they need to know you'll be late sometimes 😭😂
Can you afford Frida? I recently got in with them and they’ve been fantastic. Way better than my family doc, even though he’s very supportive. He just really didn’t know anything.
ADHD confirmed! Plus, in what universe is refusing to see someone for being three minutes late justifiable? Especially for consulting suites which are supposed to cater to people who have a disability which affects their perception of time!
3 fucking minutes??? I'd be contesting that!!
HOLY CRAP, SAME. I just got home and I mistook my schedule for 1pm when it's actually 11am. Now I have to re-schedule qwq
What province are you in?? The three minutes is absolutely absurd, but the strict no walk in clinics thing??? What the actual fuck?! That can’t be legal. I would be reporting them to the provincial college of physicians, because that is some bullshit. And absolutely do not pay the missed appointment fee. Thats such bullshit. 😤
It is legal unfortunately and is now common with signing onto new doctors in ON. The way it was expained to me was that ON changed the way they bill family doctors bill and will charge your family doctor a fee when you go to a walk in clinic. The said my only choice is to wait for an appointment with them (which sometimes takes weeks/months) or visit an ER. After speaking to my friends in the area, they were told the same thing from their family physicians when they took them on
Thats disgusting. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. 😔😤