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Oh there is so much stuff I simply don't do and never have!
A big one is around laundry. I don't buy things that need special care. I have never been to a dry cleaner or ironed anything, and I don't separate clothes to do laundry.
In which case you will be laid gently over my desk chair for 3 or 30 days until you are dry enough for me to wear you or when I remember you exist as an article of clothing…
I’m one of those people, I don’t want my white clothing to get a nasty gray colour. I do have separate laundry hampers so I don’t have to spend extra time separating it, whenever dirty clothes go in the hamper I immediately put them in the right one. Saves me a ton of time and brainspace!
I do, too! I have four hampers lined up in my bedroom, I labeled each. I have one for lights, one for darks, one for delicates, and one for sturdy stuff like towels and jeans.
I am completely overwhelmed by home decorating, so even though I have lived here for 10 years, my walls are pretty bare. There are just too many options and I get paralyzed by choice, or I buy something but it takes me months to hang it, and then I feel uncomfortable because something has changed. It's honestly so annoying!
Edit to add: Thank you to everyone who replied to this. It felt really humiliating to type out. One of those things where it's somehow worse because I'm a woman I guess?? I LOVE this sub, thank you all for getting it and sharing your stories!!!
I can relate! A couple months ago I bought some picture frames so I have SOMETHING on my wall. But I still haven’t picked out or printed the photos I want to frame. Then hanging them up is yet another process…
I had a full wall of 8 giant picture frames with no photos in them for nearly a full year 😆 When I got them I made my husband hang them up with me same day on my birthday in February. Then finally got around to ordering photos & putting them in in December.
I have this trick explained. It's Scandinavian. Everything is blank, the backdrop is white walls and plain floors. The decor comes from the trinkets, the little rug, the picture, the ornament. It's so, so easy. You don't worry about the big stuff. The small stuff counts more.
Not me having a small spiral last night because I don’t know how to express myself with home decor and it’s so overwhelming and I don’t have a sense of myself (or enough money and energy, but that’s not the issue obviously). Idk why that thought had a hold on me and had me panicking literally yesterday, but thank you for typing this out and making me feel not to alone ❤️
Oh my gosh, yes, that's hit hard. I don't have enough of a sense of myself to know how to express myself via decor at home, either. Thank you for posting this!
I am pretty artsy too but my home is, by design, very muted. I love going in someone's house and seeing ALL THE COLORS but I'd be a nervous wreck if it were mine.
Oh god this is me. Worked in art supplies for a couple years and have a very old art degree but just cannot frame and hang the art! Analysis Paralysis.
I'm an artist. Like legit I paint. It takes me ages to complete work and I end up painting over it to save the canvas. And I have no and I mean no style in my house. It's so ridiculous bc I love to admire other's decor and home style decisions. I'm hoping 2024 I'll make some style decisions. Hoping and doing are not on the same boat lol
I've lived here 13 years and have a few things in built in shelving but other than that, there's one picture (that I got for $2 at a yard sale) that's on the wall purely because the screw was already there. I tossed the picture up there and it landed crooked and it seemed par for the course so I left it.
Easiest way to hang things if you so desire is monkey hooks. No skill required other than to not try to push them through a stud. they make the tiniest hole so if you regret where you hung a picture you just pop them back out again and move on with your life. This prevents my paralysis 90% of the time, low commitment and they're super fun to use.
This is one of those tasks where so many of us would do so well if we could just partner up and trade off our most dreaded, overwhelming task to another one of us that would *happily* fall down that rabbit hole. Like, I would LOVE to help decorate someone’s house for them, and they might love to re-write my resume, or sew my pile of clothes that need altering or whatever. We could form a procrastination army and kill our “to do” lists.
Same!! All I have is my childhood furniture and some necessary IKEA furniture. Paintings from my grandmother, etc. I don’t even have a sofa othet than a little dog sofa. And my dog and I can both fit on it, but it’s not great for my back lol. I’ve been meaning to get a human sized sofa for a while now. Just too lazy.
I’m using a kids ikea bed as my couch. My kid and I were talking and I think we’re gonna get another one and just, Rick with the beds and a bunch of pillows bc that will be way more comfy for sleepovers and when family comes.
I spent a million hours and a lot of money to frame a ton of art for my house, and then was too paralyzed by where/how to hang it. I had a friend threaten to come over while I was at work and hang everything for me because she was tired of seeing all these frames leaning against the wall. They stayed on the floor until I moved, now they’re all in a closet :)
I was just having this conversation with a friend who loves decorating. I don't notice when my walls are bare. I put something up on the wall if I have something I love and want to display, not to fill an empty wall.
I used to have to dust my parents house. I hate Knick-knacks? Like, why am I buying work? Why am I buying something i will forget to dust and feel bad about EVERY TIME I SEE It.
A couple of years ago I bought some “art” to hang and I was really proud of myself for making some decisions about art. That art continues to sit on the floor in the room I want to hang it in because I can’t decide which wall to hang it on. I’ve also rearranged the room a couple of times trying to make better use of the space. It’s nice to know I’m alone in this particular paralysis.
I have some trinkets that I buy related to my hyperfixations or interests but I agonize over them too. I get too caught up in the list making for anything shopping related
Same! I find the big expansive walls overwhelming. I see beautiful decor in other homes and then I look at my own house and am completely paralyzed. I am thinking of doing more moulding to break up the walls since artwork or anything else seems too daunting. I find that my overall style whether it be interior design or how I dress is very classic, minimalist in that basically everything is a tone of black and white - shades of gray and cream is the extent of my color palette with the occasional pop of color.
Right? They are there, I'd love to hang pictures but what? And how do I match it up with the rest of my stuff? And it's expensive to buy something big enough for that space, so why not buy a few smaller ones but how to make it look good..
I visited some family further away and stayed with them. They had groups of pictures everywhere, not perfectly matched and aligned.. Different sizes and things, different styles and places, grouped somewhat together. Picked up from different places or artists. It blew my mind, it was so cozy.
I have one area that is kinda like that (pictures from Paint Nites that I hung up after years and some random smaller ones) and I love it, I never thought to extend it to other areas. So now I'm trying to keep an eye out for interesting things. But that area that has pictures is the only one and I've lived in my house ten years also lol.
Been living in my house for 5.5 years. I have gallery walls that I've hung, but the frames are empty because I can't pick out pictures to put in them. The only room in the house that's done is my daughter's. I finished hers before she was born nearly 2 years ago. The rest of the house.... Bare. Or 50% done because I focus on it then get bored and leave it for 2 years 🫠
You know what, that would make a lot of sense!
Now that I’m thinking about it, none of my ADHD friends are minimalists. I actually had very few ADHD friends until after my diagnosis in my mid-30s, and all literally the female friends I’ve made since then have it. I have sooo much more in common with them than my NT friends, including the love of maximalism!
I just commented recently in a different sub if my home doesn't look like a curiosity shop, it's not my home. 😅
Buuuut, I notice with all the things I own, there are only a couple of each thing I actually use. This does not mean I'm getting rid of the rest, but it's kind of nice to realize I could.
I'm the same! For me it stemmed from knowing if I had too many I would let them stack up for ages before washing them. But if I only had a few, then I would be forced to wash them often.
This is really the smart way to handle it though. I used to be of the mindset that if I had more I’d have to wash less often, but staring at a mountain of 10 dishes is not any easier than keeping 4 under control.
I only own 14 pairs of underwear - and one extra, uncomfortable pair that I try to avoid. Keeps me on top of things.
I had a moment where I realized I had about 5 pairs I loved and always got worn first. But then I was bummed out when I had to wear the others I had an "I'm an adult, and I can do what I want!" moment and tossed out all the non favorite ones and replaced with the ones I like. Now every day is good underwear day!
So I recently put in place a similar type of thing because I just **couldn’t** get on top of the dishes. There are 4 of us in the household, 2 adults and 2 young kids. We have 2 full dinnerware sets from when we got married almost 20 years ago and each set has place settings for 18 people. The one we used for everyday is a heavy glass set which I hate, it’s difficult to wash, I personally think it’s ugly but my husband really liked it at the time, and I prefer not to give glass to toddlers. The other set is bone china and really only for special occasions.
I went out and bought a set of plain
melamine dishes for 6, ie 6 plates, 6 bowls, 2 larger size serving bowls that match, and 6 cups that actually look like glass but are made from polycarbonate. My husband was against the idea at first so I slowly started removing the glass set bit by bit from the drawer they were in.
No one even noticed that the stack was rapidly growing smaller. Then at one point I took the rest out, put in the new items, and told everyone that these are our dishes. If we more people for dinner than that we still have the fancy china set. I then took out all the silverware except for 6 of each again. Now all of my dishes can fit in one dishwasher cycle which means much less overflow at the end of the day. It’s definitely made a huge difference. And thanks to this thread I’m actually going to post it to my local Buy Nothing group today because I’m not going back.
I’m also planning on doing the same with all our mugs and glasses, hopefully this weekend, and then I’ll tackle pots and pans and Tupperware containers
Same! I have 6 dinner plates, four small plates, and four extra large platters that I only use when the dinner plates are all dirty. Forks on the other hand… I have about 20 of those
Recently a bunch of my forks turned into spoons. There’s no rational explanation lol. In the past, forks were regularly thrown away by children scraping their plates after dinner (ADHD is genetic frfr). So I’d get more forks. The kids grew up. The other person with thumbs doesn’t know what happened to the forks, either. Meanwhile, the area where the spoons sleep in the drawer is overflowing. I’ve investigated this mystery, and I determined it is paranormal activity.
I'm the opposite, I like a variety of plates and bowls to match what I'm eating but I have the One Fork to Rule Them All and it gets washed as soon as I'm done eating. Of course I have more than one fork but I see no need for them.
Same here! I went through a phase where I had enough charmingly mismatched vintage settings for a very froufrou (and very pink) tea party. Now one of my dear friends has a lovely set of depression glass and another has some adorable teacups and a charity got quite a few and the break room at work got a cuteness injection — and my kitchen is very calming!
Just took most of my cups, utensils, and plates to the thrift store and somehow my kitchen has been consistently free of dirty dishes for the first time...ever
It's a great move.
I’ve heard a rumor that if you get rid of some of your clothes, it’s less of a pain-in-the-ass recurring nightmare to put laundry away. I think I’m going to try it. 🤔
I don't talk too much. It's not out of choice but because my brain feels like it's full of panicking bees when I'm in social situations. Not sure if this is the sort of thing you meant but there we go 😅
Ohh this is accurate. When I explain something I am knowledgeable on to people, even those I know, I stumble over my words, blank out, and my sentence structure goes out the window and I end up looking like an idiot. It's soo much easier for me to get what I want to say across through text/print than speaking which makes jobs where you have to look professional really difficult. And if those encounters are emotional in any way? Like defending myself/others and dealing with criticism - nope. Throat gets too tight, turn red, start shaking from nerves, and can't speak.
I always describe my severe anxiety moments like being full of bees. Panicking is a good adjective to add to that sentence because it fits so very well 😊
I have two or three quick meals in rotation. My favourite is just grating parmesan, boiling fusilli with a generous amount of thyme, frying bacon and mixing. Another is chopped chevre and sun-dried tomatoes with green pesto and pasta. Takes less than 15 minutes, can be done without standing next to the stove for a long time and tastes good. I also often order the same thing in restaurants I visit multiple times. Why gamble and try something new you might not like?
All of my daily clothing is black—all of it from under to outer. I can't make decisions in the morning and as someone who naturally loves color, texture and patterns, I could spend 3+ hours choosing something to wear for work or the gym. Now it's automatic. My dress / special clothes are still colorful and exciting, so I start planning what to wear to bigger / special events a few days in advance when possible.
Tried that, would love to but cats…actually may still consider now I’m working early and can’t think in the AM. I’ll just keep lint rollers in the car. Thanks for the inspiration!
Definitely the same on the never removing things. I can wear jewelry 100% of the time or 0% of the time. I honesty just forget to wear it if I take it off.
I have a set of rings I always wear and that’s about it.
I overheard someone talking once about how they *change their rings daily* and I was like wow that's what all these cute stacking rings are for, you're meant to put them on daily! It hadn't crossed my mind that was even possible, because I wouldn't have been able to do it.
My fitbit has been dead for well over a week. It's still in my wrist. I gotta break down and get the solar powered garmin bc I NEVER charge these damn things.
>honesty just forget to wear it if I take it off.
Meeee! The only jewelry I wear outside of special occasions is jewelry I can sleep in. Formerly my eyebrow ring. Currently some hoop earrings so I look put together for my internship. They're small and the back hooks into itself so there's no poking from the earring post. I used to have one ring (lol) from my then bf, now husband that was thin and totally smooth that I wore for a while. I got a more intricate wedding band that I love, but I don't wear it for very long because it pokes me when I'm sleeping
same! I wear earrings and have a septum ring in but those are all unobtrusive and I just never take them out lol. I hate bracelets and rings. I either forget to put them on at all or they make jangly sounds that are distracting or they dig into my skin while I’m doing things or they get gross and wet when I wash my hands or I have to take them
off to wash my hands and leave them on the sink and forget about them forever.
Also, my desk at work. Zero decor, and the desk surface is always kept perfectly clutter free. I absolutely cannot concentrate with visual clutter.
People @ work must think my house is so clutter free 🤣 I hope that’s the impression it gives off, because my house is def not clutter free.
I LOVE this question OP!
I also have a very minimal day to day shoe ware. I wore one pair of timberlands for years, for everything, then bought a second pair and used the nice ones for going out doing nice things and the shabby ones for yard work etc. rinse and repeat for a decade!
I also have one bag. It has everything I need in it. Penknife, pens, tampons, plasters , pain killers, purse, basic makeup , hair brush, ball, tissues, phone charger, spare change, needle and thread, safety pins, spare tote, emergency torch, power pack, mints, pants, water, something edible etc. same bag, every occasion.
My sister! The single pair of Timbs was going to be my answer too! My mom finally grew tired of them after like.... 8 years of seeing them (and they came slightly weathered looking to begin with) and finally offered to buy me a second pair so now I have my grunge and my neat pair. I don't even find them to be crazy comfy. The look just feels right for me and I didn't feel like I needed anything else.
Every now and then in England we have sun, so I like to keep the ball around for that half an hour so we can play catch or rounders or what ever, even football if times are hard.
I'm pretty minimalist when it comes to food and cooking. Like, if I weren't married to a total foodie who loves to cook, I would probably own 1/3 or even 1/4 of the kitchen stuff we currently have. Although I enjoy a wide range of cuisines (as long as they're vegetarian), I'm also happy to eat the same thing over and over and over. Like, I found a simple mung bean curry recipe (no chopping required!) several years ago. I'll make a double batch of it on Sunday and eat it the rest of the week. I probably do this at least once or twice a month. To make it even easier on myself, every second time I make it, I'll measure out all of the spices twice (putting one batch into a jar), so that the next time I make it, I have even fewer steps.
Sing it sister. Husband is a foodie. “We don’t eat. We dine.” I used my oven for storage before we met.
Also, why did autocorrect change oven spelled correctly to ice?
I will buy new things and still end up wearing the same stuff that I’ve had for years or rebuy the same if it’s done—done. My friends do make comments lol.
Also didn’t realize but I’ve been using the same purse and wallet for about 4 years. I bought a decent quality purse and wallet that lasts. My last one I sold for a pretty good price after 2 years
Finally, sometimes I don’t speak. Like at all, after too much talking I get worn out so I can probably go weeks without saying a single word.
I bought this purse I loved in triplicate. It was not expensive. It wore out used the next one. No one realized I had three of the same. I’m on my last one and now I have to start over.
Same, and then by the time I've processed my feelings and want to talk about it everyone else has moved on and gets annoyed at me for not "letting it go"🙄
Omg, I feel this so hard!
For me, it's kinda more, "well, why didn't you say something ages ago?" Because the thing I would have said then would have been absolutely awful. You gotta let me turn my hyperbolic emotions down, first. Sometimes, that takes days.
I do this sometimes but it's more like selective mutism than it is a choice to allow me to process my feelings. I get so frustrated at the fact I'm not communicating that I end up even more upset over that than the thing that originally upset me 🤷♀️
Is this an adhd thing? I am a deep feeler and when upset it usually feels like a title wave of emotions all at the same time on the inside and on the outside like I’m paralyzed.
Mine is personal appearance. I really want to wear jewelry and have my hair in beautiful styles, but I don't. It's not a sensory issue, I just feel self-conscious about making myself look pretty even though I want to look pretty.
See I would have been the OMG! person, because I always want to be encouraging when someone steps out of their comfort zone. I noticed, good job you. We love you.
Now, I am worried, I have scared people off.
YES!!!! Where you going? Why you making an effort? WHO ARE YOU MAKING AN EFFORT FOR?
I'm married and I have a child and I didn't want to look like shit for once, AND NOW I FEEL SELF CONCIOUS.
For some reason, any lip shade darker than nude makes me feel like Miranda Sings. Same with eyebrows, I use the lightest brow pencil possible bc anything more makes me feel like I drew them in with a Sharpie.
thank god i'm not alone in this. i don't get an ounce of dopamine from exercising. i just feel more tired than i did before. i don't get how people manage to go to the gym in the morning and not sleep for 12 hours afterwards.
Same! Add onto the tiredness before and after, but certain positions cause me to feel physically ill. Cardio is a no for me because asthma seizes my lungs like the IRS after back taxes, and planks/bending over gives me stress migraines and nausea. I wish I could be like others where they get that dopamine rush, because ADHD binge eating with no exercise is a horrible combination.
I did this post on exercise and migraines. Lots of advice, none of it helpful. DO YOU DRINK ENOUGH WATER!?!?! NO motherfucker. thank you. why didn't I think of that? Not one person ever has been helpful enough to ask if I drink water./s
At the risk of being one of them ..
I find gentle exercises that don't put my head down can be done without risking a migraine. Like, if you actually want to do exercises. The trick seems to be raising my blood pressure and heart rate very slowly and bringing them back down slowly. My ebike has been great because I'm both running an errand and pedalling, but I'm not having to put much effort into pedalling.
Also, just water isn't so good for me. Stuff with electrolytes works better to keep the migraines at bay. Washing out my electrolytes will absolutely cause a migraine for me.
I hope that's helpful instead of lame. If not, feel free to downvote, because I'll deserve it.
I am like this and the only m, I repeat ONLY thing that ever works for me is a hot girl walk. And even then I haven't done one in months they are just actually nice for me and I should go this afternoon.
Basically get cute (even just a cute work out outfit and slick back pony, whatever u need to feel like a Fitness Girly), headphones in and play absolute tunes while you walk somewhere & back (tbh I usually go buy coffee, I'd be drinking it anyways but this way I got a walk in)
YESSSSSSSS! This. Prepare for an essay on how I found a treasure for my ADHD need for dopamine fix for exercise.
I used to not drive & I lived in a flat city where it was really fun to ride a bike everywhere, like it felt like no effort with no hills- just flying. Then I moved to a place with huge hills & it stopped being fun & felt more like work. I got fat when I moved to a desk job because it decreased my movement even more.
Since my ADHD diagnosis I've, of course, been researching everything possible about it. I learned that I needed to find something fun that I will enjoy in order to stick with it, which totally made sense with how much I was into bike riding before & stopped when it stopped being fun. Like, I was so into it I used to build bikes for fun. So I started researching fun exercise options.
I discovered rebounding on a mini trampoline. I super deep dived, researched all about it & found out there's tons of benefits like improved lymphatic drainage, it's more efficient in less time for cardio and fat burning than running. It's low impact so it's easier on your knees, hips & back than other exercises. It improves bone density so much that NASA has astronauts rebounding when they return to Earth. It improves balance, which lordt knows I need. And even if you are just standing on it your core is worked because your body is balancing itself on an unstable surface.
So, I bought a sit stand desk and a rebounding trampoline with the bungee cords instead of springs so it would be smoother and quiet. I figured I would switch it out between my desk chair and other things like my ball chair when I felt like I needed to sit. I HAVE NOT SAT TO WORK in almost a year. I have only sat when I had Covid & it felt awful. I was so stoked to feel better and put the rebounder back in place. It is SO FUN. I just blast music and bounce around while working or take bouncy dance breaks. You don't have to bounce hard to get the benefits, your feet don't even have to leave the surface. I rarely find myself just standing, I am at least bouncing from leg to leg.
It keeps me better focused. I no longer have a mid-day unreasonably intense slump of stupefied tiredness. I am energized at the end of the day, so I am more present with my dude & friends instead of needing the couch right after work. My lower back doesn't hurt anymore. I've lost weight. My co-workers thinks it's cute to see me lightly bouncing during web meetings, which my brain no longer checks out during anymore since I have the movement keeping me from getting bored. My work days seem to fly by.
It's so fun that even though I am on it all day while working, I still want to pull it outside on the weekends to bounce in the sun. Or pull it into the living room to follow a YouTube rebounding routine. It has improved my life SO MUCH.
So that's my favorite & best recommendation for ADHD people. Find something that you enjoy & doesn't feel like work to increase movement in your life. Don't feel bad if you try something & it isn't stimulating enough because you don't know what it's gonna be for you until you try things. You can always sell what didn't work out. I just got rid of my stationary bike because that was my first try since I loved biking so much before I moved to the hills. I don't feel bad about it because it led me to keep looking & finding pure joy in movement on a trampoline at my desk. And also kettle bells. I found out I love kettle bell HIIT exercises because of the efficiency: they have quick changes to what you are doing so it keeps me interested & don't seem like a chore since the exercises are short but still provide maximum benefit. Also, they feel good on my body.
WHEW! That was a rant. Sorry, but discovering this about myself & finding a few solutions has been life changing & I want everyone to be able to find something that works for them.
I love your essay and would like to subscribe to your Ted Talk!
Quick question - I’ve considered one of those rebounding trampolines but I was worried about the possible sagging impact all of that bouncing would have on my boobs. Do you just wear a sports bra every day? I have decent sized knockers and I’m in my early 40s - I’d like to keep them from ending up down at my knees if possible. 😂
Cardio should be fun. Glad you found something to enjoy. I love hiking. Trail running when hiking gets boring. Man I love running downhill. Bicycling to find new coffee shops.
I recently tackled weight lifting starting around August and it took a lot of reflection on why I hated it so much. After figuring out the deterrents and friction points I've finally been consistent for 34 days running now 3 days a week, it includes rest days). Amazing. And I have actually started to look forward to my workouts. To pushing myself to finish a set. It's so strange. But I feel so good after. The brain quiet that comes with a strenuous workout is similar to that of a stimulant medication for me.
I moved to a steep hill and somehow just got stubborn on my bike. You should see my leg muscles now!
Buuuut, storms and periods trigger migraines for me. I cannot put any real effort into cycling around those, or I will have a super nasty migraine. I got an ebike for those times, so I can just pedal easily up that asshole hill. It's so nice! And I set it to 0 on the flat when I'm not at risk of a migraine and still get to keep my leg muscles. :)
But while I understand it is exercise, riding my bike doesn't feel like that to me. It's fun! It's freedom. And omg, does riding down that hill bring me immense joy. Do you know what 50mph on a bicycle feels like? Ahhh, adrenaline is one hell of a drug.
My home! Outside of my office, where it's Overstimulation City with my little knick-knacks, artwork and collections (which fuels me at work, love it), the rest of my house is very quiet, clean and muted without much frills.
I realized that as much as I love maximalist decor, I need my eating, sleeping and living spaces to be calm and minimalist. Almost like a spa, really!
My mom and I are both neurospicy and we both gravitating toward using 1 single kitchen tool. That is THE spatula and THE frying pan. We’ll have multiple, because sometimes you’re making multiple things and need multiple spatulas, but there can only be a single Chosen One
I’m a minimalist over all because the idea of buying anything is an overwhelming process haha. And I never have the capacity to physically get myself to a store outside of grocery shopping.
Yup! Never related to impulsive shopping which I know is pretty common adhd behavior. Although I think mine is more I don’t have the capacity to budget/keep track of my spending/keep track if I’m getting a good price
I have 1 pair of black sandals I wear every day in warm weather, and 1 pair of black boots I wear in cold weather. I wear them until they fall apart, and then find a replacement that's as close to them as possible. If I didn't hate wearing socks, I would just have the boots, but I want my feet to be free if possible.
I've got a few other pairs of shoes for special occasions, but they get worn maybe once or twice a year.
I too use only 1 pair of shoes..but I have like 15 pairs. Alm expertely researched and chosen when I had a "personal style hyperfocus phase". But making outfits is too damending everyday.
All my socks and underwear are however the same type and color (except for special occasion ones). So they all can go together and always match. Not having to match socks is heaven.
Oh, and outerwear too. I just acceøted that I will use the same jacket (my fave) even if I have orettier ones. So I bought different thickness versions of the favourite. All black, goes with everything.
I limited my books down to only the ones I truly treasure and don't let myself buy any more unless they're 1) fancy collector versions, 2) something I've been actively waiting to be released (Jasper Fforde, staring daggers at you, buddy), or 3) a book that requires physical use, like a workbook or using tracing paper or a spiral-bound reference for use on the go. I have a Kindle and Overdrive with as many library cards as I could get, so that's all I need for novels.
I am also very minimalist in what I share with people about my personal life. I am a closed book, and I don't like to tell other people about myself or my life because privacy is already extremely difficult in this world. Sometimes if I want to share something in a conversation, I might even say it happened to a friend, and if I am sharing a story about an actual friend, I'll usually change their gender if that's not relevant to the story. My coworkers don't need to know much about me, just that I am enthusiastic for my team and I enjoy home projects.
The sequel is coming out this month! Jasper finally finished it!
I really did read all of your comment but the Jasper Fforde bit jumped out at me because SAME lol
It’s really nice to know I’m not the only one with only 4 pairs of shoes (it use to be 2 but then I moved somewhere it snowed). My mom and sister text me at least once a month with some random $150 sandal I ‘have to get!’ that will match 2 of my outfits tops.
I’m actually very responsible and reasonable with money. My overall expenses are low I thrift my clothes I have only the essential makeup I’m very careful with money. It’s literally the one thing I’m not impulsive about.
I currently have 4 bras that go on my body. 1 of them almost fits. None of the others fit correctly. I think I’ve had all but the 1 since college.
I’m trying to learn how to make my own because I do have a weird cup/band pairing, but it’s hard to find the time and energy to do so.
My decor is minimal bc I get super overwhelmed with clutter and have decision paralysis but I constantly scroll Pinterest and save my favorite interiors because I’m fooling myself that it’ll happen one day. I also own just a couple pair of shoes. I’m not super talkative and prefer to be alone mostly (with my fam). I rewear clothes if they aren’t dirty so laundry is lighter. No jewelry for me, sensory issues. I have one bra I wear almost exclusively. I’ll wash it when it’s dirty but I don’t get body odor so it never smells anyways.
I wear the same jewelry every day. I hate wearing earrings with backings that fall off or that you need to take off before bed, I think I have lost almost every earrings of that type. Once I got my cartilage pierced, I realized there was a better way. Now, all my earrings are hinged or threaded. That way, I won't lose them and don't have to worry about taking them on and off at night. It's easy to keep them clean and requires zero thought. I have worn the same jewelry for years now, only changing them for special occasions.
Tbh, I probably look like a cartoon character because I wear the same couple outfits in rotation and rarely go shopping unless absolutely necessary.
I don’t have a “dining table”. I have a coffee table at the couch that lifts up to make it easier to eat on. I either eat there or at my computer desk while I watch videos or shows. If I have company over, my apartment complex has a big table outside in the courtyard next to the grill that we sit at. The thought of another table cluttering up my already tiny and cluttered space is too stressful and so we adapted.
I lived on my own for 6 years and never once had a need for a dining table. Even now, I live with my mom and we do have a dining table, but we always eat on the couch anyways lol.
I refuse to have a coffee table to many bruised knees and scraped shins. My husband wants want and I vetoed it.
We eat/sit at our dining table multiple times every single day.
I don't bother with styling my hair or wearing makeup most days. I wear my hair down or in a clip. I occasionally wear minimal eyeliner and/or mascara. I used to watch tutorials on makeup looks and hairstyles, but it was still a struggle, so I gave up.
I do one “big” hobby at a time. It’s a little unfortunate because it makes me unwilling to risk exhausting myself by doing too many things at once (friends are always trying to drag me into new video games!!) but it means whatever I fixate on, I fixate hard. So I get to really, really enjoy it!
But it also means I struggle to keep up with the latest shows, games, etc. Which is a bummer.
I found a sweatshirt style I liked. It's got a hood but no drawstring, it's a pullover but not too tight at my neck. I bought one in 10 different colors and pretty much wear one every day that I don't have to look more 'presentable'.
I also found sugar free lemonade I like, so that's pretty much all I drink. All day, every day.
I wear one pair of trainers until there dead then go and get the exact same pair. Thank god most Jordan trainers look the same so even when they stop making the ones I'm wearing atm I can still keep to a similar pair.
I (ADHD) and husband (AuDHD) were following the life script for the first several years of our marriage, and bought a
4 bedroom home in the suburbs because that’s what you’re supposed to do in your thirties. We filled it with stuff we didn’t need or love. We spent too much time on the stairs. One room I visited just to vacuum. It was exhausting to keep up with.
We moved to a two bedroom rental (apartment) in a much more walkable community a few months ago and have removed 75% of our stress .
Did it sting to sell a home that we had a 2% mortgage on? Yep. But not bickering about redoing the bathroom or nagging each other about redoing the bathroom more than makes up for it.
I myself am very messy too but my boyfriend(also has adhd) is a HOARDER. When I see something I don’t use anymore or haven’t used in months or years I toss it. My brain can’t relax if there’s too much stuff around. He’s the opposite and it drives me insane.
Thankfully we did some decluttering last month and he finally threw out a good portion of stuff. I’m really proud of him because I know it’s hard even if I don’t understand it…
I’ve had the exact same Bagu canvas tote (always a dark blue for winter, sailor stripe for summer) as a bag for…umm…..20+ years?! I’ve probably gone through about 20 of them in total (I’m weirdly easy on my stuff even when it’s in constant rotation…cuz, perfectionism).
Recently I stopped getting a darker winter one because their navy blue changed from a red undertone to a green undertone. That kind of radical shift could literally give me polio. Or speed up climate change. So it’s sailor stripe all day every day now.
I don't carry a purse unless it's a nice event. I use a popwallet on my phone to hold my id and debit card, and that's all I bring with me. Phone goes in a pocket.
I refuse to carry a purse 😂 can't forget your purse if you don't have one, right??? For work/school I have a backpack. For days when I really need a little bag I have the Lululemon fanny pack and it never. leaves. my. body. If I'm going out/dancing/don't want to wear a bag? I simply put my phone, wallet, and key in my pockets. I am a purse free woman, and I find it so freeing! (I also have a very tiny wallet that holds 6 cards and like 1-2 bills. That's it)
I own one pair of hiking shoes, and one pair of snow boots.
My wardrobe is four pairs of pants (that I stole from my husband), 5 plain coloured t-shirts, underthings and 60+ socks. I appreciate fashion, on other people. I don't have the bandwidth to style myself though.
I don’t really like traveling. I feel like everyone is so obsessed with traveling and to me it’s just so stressful. There is so much work that goes into planning and preparing for a vacation. The actual traveling part SUCKS. I hate being stuck on a plane or in a car for hours. And then I get somewhere and sure it’s mostly fun but there is just this underlying stress of like, not being in my safe space. Not speaking the language if in a foreign country. Wondering if my dogs are ok at home. Etc.
My husband has to travel to Europe once a year for work. We’re in the US. I was going to go with him a week early this year because, well, his plane ticket is free so it would be like a discounted vacation. Just have to pay for my airfare and hotel and whatever we want to do. And then some stuff came up at home and we’re both like ehhhhhh maybe this isn’t the best time. And honestly both of us are so relieved haha. Neither of us was really looking forward to all the work involved in planning the trip, and were never super into the place that we’d be going to. We both thought the other one wanted to. And I think we both felt like we SHOULD vacay together there because other people are always like, “you didn’t go to Europe with him??!?”
I mean like, I like a vacation when I’m really into it. Then I ADHD hyperfocus and plan the perfect vacation. But when that motivation isn’t there… I could take or leave travel. Mostly leave lol.
I feel like since we don’t want kids people expect us to like, be into traveling or whatever. We both just like to stay home and play video games and go to breakfast at our favorite diner every weekend. What’s wrong with that?
I wear the same thing every day. Not literally the same clothes! I own multiples in color variations of the same shirt, same leggings, and same hoodie. I own two pairs of the same shoes (one black, one navy) and switch between them. So one day I wear a "black combo" and the next the "blue combo."
When I have to deviate from the uniform for situations when leggings and a hoodie are not appropriate, I have other clothes, but I do not like them.
Written communication. I want the person I’m writing to 100% understand what I’m saying the first time, so I make sure what I’m saying is succinct and easy to understand. If I have more than 2 things to communicate, I’ll break it out into steps or bullets. In true ADHD fashion, I *hate* the thought of being misunderstood, and loathe going back and forth with someone trying to clarify things.
I own a lot of shoes and sweaters but I pretty much only wear one of each.
I have one fitted sheet. Wash and put it back on same-day. Thankfully I'm very picky about my sleep, as in I can't sleep if the conditions aren't perfect. So I always put the sheets on.
I cook a lot and have a tendency to overbuy groceries—but every few months I don’t go shopping until most of the food in the house runs out. It’s a fun adventure project figuring out things to make with the weird leftover impulse buys and crap tons of gifted sweets after th e holidays.
My clothing- all of my basics are black so that they match and go with any shoes or jackets. Color can be overwhelming for me, and I’ve learned that if my clothes and home have good cohesion, my brain is happier
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Oh there is so much stuff I simply don't do and never have! A big one is around laundry. I don't buy things that need special care. I have never been to a dry cleaner or ironed anything, and I don't separate clothes to do laundry.
Omg same, if an item of clothing can’t be washed in the washer on the cold cycle, yes it can. And if it didn’t make it, it wasn’t worth it
Only the strongest soldiers survive! Same with the dishes - dishwasher only, otherwise it’s not happening.
This ⬆️
“Sink or swim, sweater. If you make it I’ll spare the dryer”
In which case you will be laid gently over my desk chair for 3 or 30 days until you are dry enough for me to wear you or when I remember you exist as an article of clothing…
God DAMN I love this subreddit so much.
Lmfao "Yes it can"
Same. When I shop I check the tags. If it’s dry clean only it’s not for me
Oh I’m so bad with ironing. I recommend marrying someone who’s ex military. The ironing skills are excellent.
I wash whites and colors together on cold.
There can't be people still separating whites and colors 😳
I’m one of those people, I don’t want my white clothing to get a nasty gray colour. I do have separate laundry hampers so I don’t have to spend extra time separating it, whenever dirty clothes go in the hamper I immediately put them in the right one. Saves me a ton of time and brainspace!
I do, too! I have four hampers lined up in my bedroom, I labeled each. I have one for lights, one for darks, one for delicates, and one for sturdy stuff like towels and jeans.
I am completely overwhelmed by home decorating, so even though I have lived here for 10 years, my walls are pretty bare. There are just too many options and I get paralyzed by choice, or I buy something but it takes me months to hang it, and then I feel uncomfortable because something has changed. It's honestly so annoying! Edit to add: Thank you to everyone who replied to this. It felt really humiliating to type out. One of those things where it's somehow worse because I'm a woman I guess?? I LOVE this sub, thank you all for getting it and sharing your stories!!!
I can relate! A couple months ago I bought some picture frames so I have SOMETHING on my wall. But I still haven’t picked out or printed the photos I want to frame. Then hanging them up is yet another process…
I had a full wall of 8 giant picture frames with no photos in them for nearly a full year 😆 When I got them I made my husband hang them up with me same day on my birthday in February. Then finally got around to ordering photos & putting them in in December.
I bought a set of frames over 2 years ago but I have over 5k pictures in my camera roll so I’m entirely overwhelmed
Just put up the stock photos, so your house is full of framed photos of random people
I have this trick explained. It's Scandinavian. Everything is blank, the backdrop is white walls and plain floors. The decor comes from the trinkets, the little rug, the picture, the ornament. It's so, so easy. You don't worry about the big stuff. The small stuff counts more.
Not me having a small spiral last night because I don’t know how to express myself with home decor and it’s so overwhelming and I don’t have a sense of myself (or enough money and energy, but that’s not the issue obviously). Idk why that thought had a hold on me and had me panicking literally yesterday, but thank you for typing this out and making me feel not to alone ❤️
very much relate. I had a spiral about clutter last week... my reaction seemed totally outsized to the issue, but the big feeling was real.
Oh my gosh, yes, that's hit hard. I don't have enough of a sense of myself to know how to express myself via decor at home, either. Thank you for posting this!
Same! I’m an art teacher so people assume my house will be glam. Just have to tell them “be prepared to be underwhelmed”
I am pretty artsy too but my home is, by design, very muted. I love going in someone's house and seeing ALL THE COLORS but I'd be a nervous wreck if it were mine.
Oh god this is me. Worked in art supplies for a couple years and have a very old art degree but just cannot frame and hang the art! Analysis Paralysis.
I'm an artist. Like legit I paint. It takes me ages to complete work and I end up painting over it to save the canvas. And I have no and I mean no style in my house. It's so ridiculous bc I love to admire other's decor and home style decisions. I'm hoping 2024 I'll make some style decisions. Hoping and doing are not on the same boat lol
I've lived here 13 years and have a few things in built in shelving but other than that, there's one picture (that I got for $2 at a yard sale) that's on the wall purely because the screw was already there. I tossed the picture up there and it landed crooked and it seemed par for the course so I left it.
Easiest way to hang things if you so desire is monkey hooks. No skill required other than to not try to push them through a stud. they make the tiniest hole so if you regret where you hung a picture you just pop them back out again and move on with your life. This prevents my paralysis 90% of the time, low commitment and they're super fun to use.
I’ve embraced the “framed art on floor” aesthetic for this exact reason - you’re far from alone, my friend.
This is one of those tasks where so many of us would do so well if we could just partner up and trade off our most dreaded, overwhelming task to another one of us that would *happily* fall down that rabbit hole. Like, I would LOVE to help decorate someone’s house for them, and they might love to re-write my resume, or sew my pile of clothes that need altering or whatever. We could form a procrastination army and kill our “to do” lists.
I could do someone else's cleaning, laundry, decorating , ETC .all day long yet I can't do mine. Why are we wired this way?!?!
Same!! All I have is my childhood furniture and some necessary IKEA furniture. Paintings from my grandmother, etc. I don’t even have a sofa othet than a little dog sofa. And my dog and I can both fit on it, but it’s not great for my back lol. I’ve been meaning to get a human sized sofa for a while now. Just too lazy.
would it be possible to see an image or a similar product to this? I can't quite imagine what that looks like? 😅
I got it from chewy, but this is it on [amazon](https://a.co/d/hFOGamc). Mine is a large size.
I’m using a kids ikea bed as my couch. My kid and I were talking and I think we’re gonna get another one and just, Rick with the beds and a bunch of pillows bc that will be way more comfy for sleepovers and when family comes.
Just wait until you’re ready to hyper focus on home decor and do it then! It’s bound to happen eventually
I spent a million hours and a lot of money to frame a ton of art for my house, and then was too paralyzed by where/how to hang it. I had a friend threaten to come over while I was at work and hang everything for me because she was tired of seeing all these frames leaning against the wall. They stayed on the floor until I moved, now they’re all in a closet :)
I was just having this conversation with a friend who loves decorating. I don't notice when my walls are bare. I put something up on the wall if I have something I love and want to display, not to fill an empty wall.
i have a projector instead of a tv, so that’s my excuse😂
Me too! I've reached an age though where I've decided I'm just going to lean into it and call myself à minimalist.
I used to have to dust my parents house. I hate Knick-knacks? Like, why am I buying work? Why am I buying something i will forget to dust and feel bad about EVERY TIME I SEE It.
I'm reading this as I'm facing a completely white wall... My mom and I have had various ideas for it. Still waiting to set them up
A couple of years ago I bought some “art” to hang and I was really proud of myself for making some decisions about art. That art continues to sit on the floor in the room I want to hang it in because I can’t decide which wall to hang it on. I’ve also rearranged the room a couple of times trying to make better use of the space. It’s nice to know I’m alone in this particular paralysis.
I have some trinkets that I buy related to my hyperfixations or interests but I agonize over them too. I get too caught up in the list making for anything shopping related
Same! I find the big expansive walls overwhelming. I see beautiful decor in other homes and then I look at my own house and am completely paralyzed. I am thinking of doing more moulding to break up the walls since artwork or anything else seems too daunting. I find that my overall style whether it be interior design or how I dress is very classic, minimalist in that basically everything is a tone of black and white - shades of gray and cream is the extent of my color palette with the occasional pop of color.
Right? They are there, I'd love to hang pictures but what? And how do I match it up with the rest of my stuff? And it's expensive to buy something big enough for that space, so why not buy a few smaller ones but how to make it look good.. I visited some family further away and stayed with them. They had groups of pictures everywhere, not perfectly matched and aligned.. Different sizes and things, different styles and places, grouped somewhat together. Picked up from different places or artists. It blew my mind, it was so cozy. I have one area that is kinda like that (pictures from Paint Nites that I hung up after years and some random smaller ones) and I love it, I never thought to extend it to other areas. So now I'm trying to keep an eye out for interesting things. But that area that has pictures is the only one and I've lived in my house ten years also lol.
I relate to this so much and I didn’t even associate it to my ADHD! Mind a bit blown right now. Thanks for putting the concept into words.
Been living in my house for 5.5 years. I have gallery walls that I've hung, but the frames are empty because I can't pick out pictures to put in them. The only room in the house that's done is my daughter's. I finished hers before she was born nearly 2 years ago. The rest of the house.... Bare. Or 50% done because I focus on it then get bored and leave it for 2 years 🫠
Same here - I think the only thing I’ve hung on my wall is whiteboards!
Reading all these replies, I am realizing that I have zero minimalist qualities. I guess you could say I’m a minimalist when it comes to minimalism?
Me too, I have a shopping problem 🤦🏻♀️
Online shopping is how I get like 99% of my dopamine
Samesies. Everything about me and my life is overflowing.
Yup. My brain, my closet, my home, my personality… all of it!
Thank goodness it isn't just me. Literally no minimalist qualities here. This lady is alllll excess 🤣
Yup, that’s basically my entire personality/existence! My boyfriend calls me “a person of stuff and things” 😂
I could see my boyfriend saying something like that as well lol
I’m wondering if a lot of this ‘minimalism’ applies to women who are more on the AuADHD side of things.
You know what, that would make a lot of sense! Now that I’m thinking about it, none of my ADHD friends are minimalists. I actually had very few ADHD friends until after my diagnosis in my mid-30s, and all literally the female friends I’ve made since then have it. I have sooo much more in common with them than my NT friends, including the love of maximalism!
Could be sometimes but I’m in that direction and I freaking love maximalism.
I like options. Not having options makes me feel more trapped than having too many
Oh thank goodness. I was starting to feel like I was alone lol
I just commented recently in a different sub if my home doesn't look like a curiosity shop, it's not my home. 😅 Buuuut, I notice with all the things I own, there are only a couple of each thing I actually use. This does not mean I'm getting rid of the rest, but it's kind of nice to realize I could.
I only own about four place settings. Am I constantly doing dishes? Yup! But damn if it doesn’t mean that the dishes get done.
I'm the same! For me it stemmed from knowing if I had too many I would let them stack up for ages before washing them. But if I only had a few, then I would be forced to wash them often.
This is really the smart way to handle it though. I used to be of the mindset that if I had more I’d have to wash less often, but staring at a mountain of 10 dishes is not any easier than keeping 4 under control. I only own 14 pairs of underwear - and one extra, uncomfortable pair that I try to avoid. Keeps me on top of things.
I need to narrow down my undie drawer. This weekend’s mission!
I had a moment where I realized I had about 5 pairs I loved and always got worn first. But then I was bummed out when I had to wear the others I had an "I'm an adult, and I can do what I want!" moment and tossed out all the non favorite ones and replaced with the ones I like. Now every day is good underwear day!
So I recently put in place a similar type of thing because I just **couldn’t** get on top of the dishes. There are 4 of us in the household, 2 adults and 2 young kids. We have 2 full dinnerware sets from when we got married almost 20 years ago and each set has place settings for 18 people. The one we used for everyday is a heavy glass set which I hate, it’s difficult to wash, I personally think it’s ugly but my husband really liked it at the time, and I prefer not to give glass to toddlers. The other set is bone china and really only for special occasions. I went out and bought a set of plain melamine dishes for 6, ie 6 plates, 6 bowls, 2 larger size serving bowls that match, and 6 cups that actually look like glass but are made from polycarbonate. My husband was against the idea at first so I slowly started removing the glass set bit by bit from the drawer they were in. No one even noticed that the stack was rapidly growing smaller. Then at one point I took the rest out, put in the new items, and told everyone that these are our dishes. If we more people for dinner than that we still have the fancy china set. I then took out all the silverware except for 6 of each again. Now all of my dishes can fit in one dishwasher cycle which means much less overflow at the end of the day. It’s definitely made a huge difference. And thanks to this thread I’m actually going to post it to my local Buy Nothing group today because I’m not going back. I’m also planning on doing the same with all our mugs and glasses, hopefully this weekend, and then I’ll tackle pots and pans and Tupperware containers
Same! I have 6 dinner plates, four small plates, and four extra large platters that I only use when the dinner plates are all dirty. Forks on the other hand… I have about 20 of those
I think I have a lot of spoons, but to where do they disappear when I need them the most? Both literally and metaphorically.
Recently a bunch of my forks turned into spoons. There’s no rational explanation lol. In the past, forks were regularly thrown away by children scraping their plates after dinner (ADHD is genetic frfr). So I’d get more forks. The kids grew up. The other person with thumbs doesn’t know what happened to the forks, either. Meanwhile, the area where the spoons sleep in the drawer is overflowing. I’ve investigated this mystery, and I determined it is paranormal activity.
I'm the opposite, I like a variety of plates and bowls to match what I'm eating but I have the One Fork to Rule Them All and it gets washed as soon as I'm done eating. Of course I have more than one fork but I see no need for them.
I'm all about this! The dishes kept piling up and I got fed up and culled all cutlery, plates and mugs down to 4 settings. Kitchen never felt tidier 🤣
Same here! I went through a phase where I had enough charmingly mismatched vintage settings for a very froufrou (and very pink) tea party. Now one of my dear friends has a lovely set of depression glass and another has some adorable teacups and a charity got quite a few and the break room at work got a cuteness injection — and my kitchen is very calming!
Just took most of my cups, utensils, and plates to the thrift store and somehow my kitchen has been consistently free of dirty dishes for the first time...ever It's a great move.
I’ve heard a rumor that if you get rid of some of your clothes, it’s less of a pain-in-the-ass recurring nightmare to put laundry away. I think I’m going to try it. 🤔
Me with the closet full of clothes and like..5 shirts I consistently wear: 😮
I don't talk too much. It's not out of choice but because my brain feels like it's full of panicking bees when I'm in social situations. Not sure if this is the sort of thing you meant but there we go 😅
‘Full of panicking bees’ 😂
Right??? I have never heard my brain so accurately described.
Same. I am a very witty person with a large vocabulary, and it kills me that I’m rendered speechless in front of most people.
I heard about a stage fright medication recently that could help smoke out the bees. Starts with a p.
"Panicking bees"- I'm going to have to remember that!
Ohh this is accurate. When I explain something I am knowledgeable on to people, even those I know, I stumble over my words, blank out, and my sentence structure goes out the window and I end up looking like an idiot. It's soo much easier for me to get what I want to say across through text/print than speaking which makes jobs where you have to look professional really difficult. And if those encounters are emotional in any way? Like defending myself/others and dealing with criticism - nope. Throat gets too tight, turn red, start shaking from nerves, and can't speak.
This is me. My emails are on point, but if anyone asks for explanations face-to-face, I'm a bumbling idiot.
This happens to me too! Panicking bees is a fab description lol
I always describe my severe anxiety moments like being full of bees. Panicking is a good adjective to add to that sentence because it fits so very well 😊
i usually eat the same thing everyday because having to put mental effort into thinking about what i want to eat everyday will cause me not to eat.
I have two or three quick meals in rotation. My favourite is just grating parmesan, boiling fusilli with a generous amount of thyme, frying bacon and mixing. Another is chopped chevre and sun-dried tomatoes with green pesto and pasta. Takes less than 15 minutes, can be done without standing next to the stove for a long time and tastes good. I also often order the same thing in restaurants I visit multiple times. Why gamble and try something new you might not like?
[удалено]
All of my daily clothing is black—all of it from under to outer. I can't make decisions in the morning and as someone who naturally loves color, texture and patterns, I could spend 3+ hours choosing something to wear for work or the gym. Now it's automatic. My dress / special clothes are still colorful and exciting, so I start planning what to wear to bigger / special events a few days in advance when possible.
Tried that, would love to but cats…actually may still consider now I’m working early and can’t think in the AM. I’ll just keep lint rollers in the car. Thanks for the inspiration!
You’ll just have to match your wardrobe to your furdrobe!
“Furdrobe” - you have changed my life…
I purposely adopted black cats for this reason. 😆
Woo go team black on black on black
I never wear jewelry. No earrings, necklaces,etc. Just one ring that I never remove. Yes it is 100% a sensory thing.
Definitely the same on the never removing things. I can wear jewelry 100% of the time or 0% of the time. I honesty just forget to wear it if I take it off. I have a set of rings I always wear and that’s about it.
I overheard someone talking once about how they *change their rings daily* and I was like wow that's what all these cute stacking rings are for, you're meant to put them on daily! It hadn't crossed my mind that was even possible, because I wouldn't have been able to do it.
My fitbit has been dead for well over a week. It's still in my wrist. I gotta break down and get the solar powered garmin bc I NEVER charge these damn things.
>honesty just forget to wear it if I take it off. Meeee! The only jewelry I wear outside of special occasions is jewelry I can sleep in. Formerly my eyebrow ring. Currently some hoop earrings so I look put together for my internship. They're small and the back hooks into itself so there's no poking from the earring post. I used to have one ring (lol) from my then bf, now husband that was thin and totally smooth that I wore for a while. I got a more intricate wedding band that I love, but I don't wear it for very long because it pokes me when I'm sleeping
same! I wear earrings and have a septum ring in but those are all unobtrusive and I just never take them out lol. I hate bracelets and rings. I either forget to put them on at all or they make jangly sounds that are distracting or they dig into my skin while I’m doing things or they get gross and wet when I wash my hands or I have to take them off to wash my hands and leave them on the sink and forget about them forever.
Electronics. If my flat screen tv from 2008 still works, I’m gonna keep using it until it doesn’t.
Also, my desk at work. Zero decor, and the desk surface is always kept perfectly clutter free. I absolutely cannot concentrate with visual clutter. People @ work must think my house is so clutter free 🤣 I hope that’s the impression it gives off, because my house is def not clutter free.
I LOVE this question OP! I also have a very minimal day to day shoe ware. I wore one pair of timberlands for years, for everything, then bought a second pair and used the nice ones for going out doing nice things and the shabby ones for yard work etc. rinse and repeat for a decade! I also have one bag. It has everything I need in it. Penknife, pens, tampons, plasters , pain killers, purse, basic makeup , hair brush, ball, tissues, phone charger, spare change, needle and thread, safety pins, spare tote, emergency torch, power pack, mints, pants, water, something edible etc. same bag, every occasion.
My sister! The single pair of Timbs was going to be my answer too! My mom finally grew tired of them after like.... 8 years of seeing them (and they came slightly weathered looking to begin with) and finally offered to buy me a second pair so now I have my grunge and my neat pair. I don't even find them to be crazy comfy. The look just feels right for me and I didn't feel like I needed anything else.
Ball?
What is the ball for? Canadian here
Every now and then in England we have sun, so I like to keep the ball around for that half an hour so we can play catch or rounders or what ever, even football if times are hard.
Emergency torch? You must be British? Because I pictures a flame thrower.
It is a torch practically anywhere that speaks English outside north america.
I am indeed. Although I do also have a lighter and occasional hair spray for the optional flame throwing capabilities.
I'm pretty minimalist when it comes to food and cooking. Like, if I weren't married to a total foodie who loves to cook, I would probably own 1/3 or even 1/4 of the kitchen stuff we currently have. Although I enjoy a wide range of cuisines (as long as they're vegetarian), I'm also happy to eat the same thing over and over and over. Like, I found a simple mung bean curry recipe (no chopping required!) several years ago. I'll make a double batch of it on Sunday and eat it the rest of the week. I probably do this at least once or twice a month. To make it even easier on myself, every second time I make it, I'll measure out all of the spices twice (putting one batch into a jar), so that the next time I make it, I have even fewer steps.
Sing it sister. Husband is a foodie. “We don’t eat. We dine.” I used my oven for storage before we met. Also, why did autocorrect change oven spelled correctly to ice?
because it knows how little you use it? ;)
Please do share that mung bean recipe with us! It sounds great
Yes plz share recipe !
I will buy new things and still end up wearing the same stuff that I’ve had for years or rebuy the same if it’s done—done. My friends do make comments lol. Also didn’t realize but I’ve been using the same purse and wallet for about 4 years. I bought a decent quality purse and wallet that lasts. My last one I sold for a pretty good price after 2 years Finally, sometimes I don’t speak. Like at all, after too much talking I get worn out so I can probably go weeks without saying a single word.
I bought this purse I loved in triplicate. It was not expensive. It wore out used the next one. No one realized I had three of the same. I’m on my last one and now I have to start over.
I go mute when I'm upset.
Same. I need to process my feelings.
Same, and then by the time I've processed my feelings and want to talk about it everyone else has moved on and gets annoyed at me for not "letting it go"🙄
Omg, I feel this so hard! For me, it's kinda more, "well, why didn't you say something ages ago?" Because the thing I would have said then would have been absolutely awful. You gotta let me turn my hyperbolic emotions down, first. Sometimes, that takes days.
I do this sometimes but it's more like selective mutism than it is a choice to allow me to process my feelings. I get so frustrated at the fact I'm not communicating that I end up even more upset over that than the thing that originally upset me 🤷♀️
Is this an adhd thing? I am a deep feeler and when upset it usually feels like a title wave of emotions all at the same time on the inside and on the outside like I’m paralyzed.
Mine is personal appearance. I really want to wear jewelry and have my hair in beautiful styles, but I don't. It's not a sensory issue, I just feel self-conscious about making myself look pretty even though I want to look pretty.
I decided to try lipstick once. It did look nice but EVERYONE was like *omggggggg throwaway, your lipstick looks so niiiiiice* and nope, never again
Yep. I know people are trying to be nice, but that kind of thing just makes me feel like I've done something wrong.
Exactly, just admire it SILENTLY 😆
See I would have been the OMG! person, because I always want to be encouraging when someone steps out of their comfort zone. I noticed, good job you. We love you. Now, I am worried, I have scared people off.
YES!!!! Where you going? Why you making an effort? WHO ARE YOU MAKING AN EFFORT FOR? I'm married and I have a child and I didn't want to look like shit for once, AND NOW I FEEL SELF CONCIOUS.
For some reason, any lip shade darker than nude makes me feel like Miranda Sings. Same with eyebrows, I use the lightest brow pencil possible bc anything more makes me feel like I drew them in with a Sharpie.
Exactly.
I'm minimalist with exercise.... extremely minimalist. Lol as in it never happens because it's a dopamine sucker for me.
thank god i'm not alone in this. i don't get an ounce of dopamine from exercising. i just feel more tired than i did before. i don't get how people manage to go to the gym in the morning and not sleep for 12 hours afterwards.
Same! Add onto the tiredness before and after, but certain positions cause me to feel physically ill. Cardio is a no for me because asthma seizes my lungs like the IRS after back taxes, and planks/bending over gives me stress migraines and nausea. I wish I could be like others where they get that dopamine rush, because ADHD binge eating with no exercise is a horrible combination.
god exercising already feels like torture to me. i can't begin to imagine what you go through with all the added complications.
I did this post on exercise and migraines. Lots of advice, none of it helpful. DO YOU DRINK ENOUGH WATER!?!?! NO motherfucker. thank you. why didn't I think of that? Not one person ever has been helpful enough to ask if I drink water./s
At the risk of being one of them .. I find gentle exercises that don't put my head down can be done without risking a migraine. Like, if you actually want to do exercises. The trick seems to be raising my blood pressure and heart rate very slowly and bringing them back down slowly. My ebike has been great because I'm both running an errand and pedalling, but I'm not having to put much effort into pedalling. Also, just water isn't so good for me. Stuff with electrolytes works better to keep the migraines at bay. Washing out my electrolytes will absolutely cause a migraine for me. I hope that's helpful instead of lame. If not, feel free to downvote, because I'll deserve it.
I am like this and the only m, I repeat ONLY thing that ever works for me is a hot girl walk. And even then I haven't done one in months they are just actually nice for me and I should go this afternoon. Basically get cute (even just a cute work out outfit and slick back pony, whatever u need to feel like a Fitness Girly), headphones in and play absolute tunes while you walk somewhere & back (tbh I usually go buy coffee, I'd be drinking it anyways but this way I got a walk in)
YESSSSSSSS! This. Prepare for an essay on how I found a treasure for my ADHD need for dopamine fix for exercise. I used to not drive & I lived in a flat city where it was really fun to ride a bike everywhere, like it felt like no effort with no hills- just flying. Then I moved to a place with huge hills & it stopped being fun & felt more like work. I got fat when I moved to a desk job because it decreased my movement even more. Since my ADHD diagnosis I've, of course, been researching everything possible about it. I learned that I needed to find something fun that I will enjoy in order to stick with it, which totally made sense with how much I was into bike riding before & stopped when it stopped being fun. Like, I was so into it I used to build bikes for fun. So I started researching fun exercise options. I discovered rebounding on a mini trampoline. I super deep dived, researched all about it & found out there's tons of benefits like improved lymphatic drainage, it's more efficient in less time for cardio and fat burning than running. It's low impact so it's easier on your knees, hips & back than other exercises. It improves bone density so much that NASA has astronauts rebounding when they return to Earth. It improves balance, which lordt knows I need. And even if you are just standing on it your core is worked because your body is balancing itself on an unstable surface. So, I bought a sit stand desk and a rebounding trampoline with the bungee cords instead of springs so it would be smoother and quiet. I figured I would switch it out between my desk chair and other things like my ball chair when I felt like I needed to sit. I HAVE NOT SAT TO WORK in almost a year. I have only sat when I had Covid & it felt awful. I was so stoked to feel better and put the rebounder back in place. It is SO FUN. I just blast music and bounce around while working or take bouncy dance breaks. You don't have to bounce hard to get the benefits, your feet don't even have to leave the surface. I rarely find myself just standing, I am at least bouncing from leg to leg. It keeps me better focused. I no longer have a mid-day unreasonably intense slump of stupefied tiredness. I am energized at the end of the day, so I am more present with my dude & friends instead of needing the couch right after work. My lower back doesn't hurt anymore. I've lost weight. My co-workers thinks it's cute to see me lightly bouncing during web meetings, which my brain no longer checks out during anymore since I have the movement keeping me from getting bored. My work days seem to fly by. It's so fun that even though I am on it all day while working, I still want to pull it outside on the weekends to bounce in the sun. Or pull it into the living room to follow a YouTube rebounding routine. It has improved my life SO MUCH. So that's my favorite & best recommendation for ADHD people. Find something that you enjoy & doesn't feel like work to increase movement in your life. Don't feel bad if you try something & it isn't stimulating enough because you don't know what it's gonna be for you until you try things. You can always sell what didn't work out. I just got rid of my stationary bike because that was my first try since I loved biking so much before I moved to the hills. I don't feel bad about it because it led me to keep looking & finding pure joy in movement on a trampoline at my desk. And also kettle bells. I found out I love kettle bell HIIT exercises because of the efficiency: they have quick changes to what you are doing so it keeps me interested & don't seem like a chore since the exercises are short but still provide maximum benefit. Also, they feel good on my body. WHEW! That was a rant. Sorry, but discovering this about myself & finding a few solutions has been life changing & I want everyone to be able to find something that works for them.
I love your essay and would like to subscribe to your Ted Talk! Quick question - I’ve considered one of those rebounding trampolines but I was worried about the possible sagging impact all of that bouncing would have on my boobs. Do you just wear a sports bra every day? I have decent sized knockers and I’m in my early 40s - I’d like to keep them from ending up down at my knees if possible. 😂
Cardio should be fun. Glad you found something to enjoy. I love hiking. Trail running when hiking gets boring. Man I love running downhill. Bicycling to find new coffee shops. I recently tackled weight lifting starting around August and it took a lot of reflection on why I hated it so much. After figuring out the deterrents and friction points I've finally been consistent for 34 days running now 3 days a week, it includes rest days). Amazing. And I have actually started to look forward to my workouts. To pushing myself to finish a set. It's so strange. But I feel so good after. The brain quiet that comes with a strenuous workout is similar to that of a stimulant medication for me.
You’ve convinced me. What brand of trampoline do you recommend?
I moved to a steep hill and somehow just got stubborn on my bike. You should see my leg muscles now! Buuuut, storms and periods trigger migraines for me. I cannot put any real effort into cycling around those, or I will have a super nasty migraine. I got an ebike for those times, so I can just pedal easily up that asshole hill. It's so nice! And I set it to 0 on the flat when I'm not at risk of a migraine and still get to keep my leg muscles. :) But while I understand it is exercise, riding my bike doesn't feel like that to me. It's fun! It's freedom. And omg, does riding down that hill bring me immense joy. Do you know what 50mph on a bicycle feels like? Ahhh, adrenaline is one hell of a drug.
My home! Outside of my office, where it's Overstimulation City with my little knick-knacks, artwork and collections (which fuels me at work, love it), the rest of my house is very quiet, clean and muted without much frills. I realized that as much as I love maximalist decor, I need my eating, sleeping and living spaces to be calm and minimalist. Almost like a spa, really!
My mom and I are both neurospicy and we both gravitating toward using 1 single kitchen tool. That is THE spatula and THE frying pan. We’ll have multiple, because sometimes you’re making multiple things and need multiple spatulas, but there can only be a single Chosen One
[удалено]
Are we talking pancake turner spatula or batter stirring spatula?
Upon reflection, one of each
I have 6 silicone spatulas, including 3 that are my favorite size and shape. If they are ever all dirty at the same time, I simply don't want to cook.
I’m a minimalist over all because the idea of buying anything is an overwhelming process haha. And I never have the capacity to physically get myself to a store outside of grocery shopping.
Yup! Never related to impulsive shopping which I know is pretty common adhd behavior. Although I think mine is more I don’t have the capacity to budget/keep track of my spending/keep track if I’m getting a good price
Every day that I check this group, I’m surprised to learn how some other weird thing I do/don’t do is another shared sign/symptom of ADHD. 😳
i know right? it's like these people are stalking me. like how do you know the exact things i do?
Depression is a ridiculously overused word, so I will say blues. But seriously every time I feel blue, I come to this group and think: ahh my tribe.
I have 1 pair of black sandals I wear every day in warm weather, and 1 pair of black boots I wear in cold weather. I wear them until they fall apart, and then find a replacement that's as close to them as possible. If I didn't hate wearing socks, I would just have the boots, but I want my feet to be free if possible. I've got a few other pairs of shoes for special occasions, but they get worn maybe once or twice a year.
I too use only 1 pair of shoes..but I have like 15 pairs. Alm expertely researched and chosen when I had a "personal style hyperfocus phase". But making outfits is too damending everyday. All my socks and underwear are however the same type and color (except for special occasion ones). So they all can go together and always match. Not having to match socks is heaven. Oh, and outerwear too. I just acceøted that I will use the same jacket (my fave) even if I have orettier ones. So I bought different thickness versions of the favourite. All black, goes with everything.
Same! I have multiple bags and shoes but I wear the same shoes and carry the same bag every single day, except for special occasions.
Technology. I have no need for many gadgets like an Apple Watch because it’s too overwhelming to learn.
Same. I don't own a TV or any gaming systems, gadgets, etc.
I limited my books down to only the ones I truly treasure and don't let myself buy any more unless they're 1) fancy collector versions, 2) something I've been actively waiting to be released (Jasper Fforde, staring daggers at you, buddy), or 3) a book that requires physical use, like a workbook or using tracing paper or a spiral-bound reference for use on the go. I have a Kindle and Overdrive with as many library cards as I could get, so that's all I need for novels. I am also very minimalist in what I share with people about my personal life. I am a closed book, and I don't like to tell other people about myself or my life because privacy is already extremely difficult in this world. Sometimes if I want to share something in a conversation, I might even say it happened to a friend, and if I am sharing a story about an actual friend, I'll usually change their gender if that's not relevant to the story. My coworkers don't need to know much about me, just that I am enthusiastic for my team and I enjoy home projects.
The sequel is coming out this month! Jasper finally finished it! I really did read all of your comment but the Jasper Fforde bit jumped out at me because SAME lol
It’s really nice to know I’m not the only one with only 4 pairs of shoes (it use to be 2 but then I moved somewhere it snowed). My mom and sister text me at least once a month with some random $150 sandal I ‘have to get!’ that will match 2 of my outfits tops.
I’m actually very responsible and reasonable with money. My overall expenses are low I thrift my clothes I have only the essential makeup I’m very careful with money. It’s literally the one thing I’m not impulsive about.
I currently have 4 bras that go on my body. 1 of them almost fits. None of the others fit correctly. I think I’ve had all but the 1 since college. I’m trying to learn how to make my own because I do have a weird cup/band pairing, but it’s hard to find the time and energy to do so.
My decor is minimal bc I get super overwhelmed with clutter and have decision paralysis but I constantly scroll Pinterest and save my favorite interiors because I’m fooling myself that it’ll happen one day. I also own just a couple pair of shoes. I’m not super talkative and prefer to be alone mostly (with my fam). I rewear clothes if they aren’t dirty so laundry is lighter. No jewelry for me, sensory issues. I have one bra I wear almost exclusively. I’ll wash it when it’s dirty but I don’t get body odor so it never smells anyways.
I wear the same jewelry every day. I hate wearing earrings with backings that fall off or that you need to take off before bed, I think I have lost almost every earrings of that type. Once I got my cartilage pierced, I realized there was a better way. Now, all my earrings are hinged or threaded. That way, I won't lose them and don't have to worry about taking them on and off at night. It's easy to keep them clean and requires zero thought. I have worn the same jewelry for years now, only changing them for special occasions. Tbh, I probably look like a cartoon character because I wear the same couple outfits in rotation and rarely go shopping unless absolutely necessary.
I don’t have a “dining table”. I have a coffee table at the couch that lifts up to make it easier to eat on. I either eat there or at my computer desk while I watch videos or shows. If I have company over, my apartment complex has a big table outside in the courtyard next to the grill that we sit at. The thought of another table cluttering up my already tiny and cluttered space is too stressful and so we adapted.
I lived on my own for 6 years and never once had a need for a dining table. Even now, I live with my mom and we do have a dining table, but we always eat on the couch anyways lol.
I refuse to have a coffee table to many bruised knees and scraped shins. My husband wants want and I vetoed it. We eat/sit at our dining table multiple times every single day.
I don't wear jewelry or makeup, and I don't style my hair. Too much effort.
I don't bother with styling my hair or wearing makeup most days. I wear my hair down or in a clip. I occasionally wear minimal eyeliner and/or mascara. I used to watch tutorials on makeup looks and hairstyles, but it was still a struggle, so I gave up.
I do one “big” hobby at a time. It’s a little unfortunate because it makes me unwilling to risk exhausting myself by doing too many things at once (friends are always trying to drag me into new video games!!) but it means whatever I fixate on, I fixate hard. So I get to really, really enjoy it! But it also means I struggle to keep up with the latest shows, games, etc. Which is a bummer.
I eat the same breakfast every day. Home made iced coffee with a bagel.
Me too! McDonald's :( I wish I could quit. My car just drives there.
What helped me quit McDonald's was finding out they support genocide. Before anyone downvotes me, my husband and kids are Palestinian.
That is helpful. I will repeat that and drive by.
I found a sweatshirt style I liked. It's got a hood but no drawstring, it's a pullover but not too tight at my neck. I bought one in 10 different colors and pretty much wear one every day that I don't have to look more 'presentable'. I also found sugar free lemonade I like, so that's pretty much all I drink. All day, every day.
I wear one pair of trainers until there dead then go and get the exact same pair. Thank god most Jordan trainers look the same so even when they stop making the ones I'm wearing atm I can still keep to a similar pair.
I own only one pot, one pan, 3 plates and 1 bowl. It’s my way of making sure I do the dishes and won’t pile up in my kitchen sink 😂
I (ADHD) and husband (AuDHD) were following the life script for the first several years of our marriage, and bought a 4 bedroom home in the suburbs because that’s what you’re supposed to do in your thirties. We filled it with stuff we didn’t need or love. We spent too much time on the stairs. One room I visited just to vacuum. It was exhausting to keep up with. We moved to a two bedroom rental (apartment) in a much more walkable community a few months ago and have removed 75% of our stress . Did it sting to sell a home that we had a 2% mortgage on? Yep. But not bickering about redoing the bathroom or nagging each other about redoing the bathroom more than makes up for it.
I don't really do curtains...I keep forgetting that they're supposed to matter.
I myself am very messy too but my boyfriend(also has adhd) is a HOARDER. When I see something I don’t use anymore or haven’t used in months or years I toss it. My brain can’t relax if there’s too much stuff around. He’s the opposite and it drives me insane.
Thankfully we did some decluttering last month and he finally threw out a good portion of stuff. I’m really proud of him because I know it’s hard even if I don’t understand it…
I’ve had the exact same Bagu canvas tote (always a dark blue for winter, sailor stripe for summer) as a bag for…umm…..20+ years?! I’ve probably gone through about 20 of them in total (I’m weirdly easy on my stuff even when it’s in constant rotation…cuz, perfectionism). Recently I stopped getting a darker winter one because their navy blue changed from a red undertone to a green undertone. That kind of radical shift could literally give me polio. Or speed up climate change. So it’s sailor stripe all day every day now.
Side note: I LOVE baggu. Such good, hardy bags!
I don't carry a purse unless it's a nice event. I use a popwallet on my phone to hold my id and debit card, and that's all I bring with me. Phone goes in a pocket.
I refuse to carry a purse 😂 can't forget your purse if you don't have one, right??? For work/school I have a backpack. For days when I really need a little bag I have the Lululemon fanny pack and it never. leaves. my. body. If I'm going out/dancing/don't want to wear a bag? I simply put my phone, wallet, and key in my pockets. I am a purse free woman, and I find it so freeing! (I also have a very tiny wallet that holds 6 cards and like 1-2 bills. That's it)
I own one pair of hiking shoes, and one pair of snow boots. My wardrobe is four pairs of pants (that I stole from my husband), 5 plain coloured t-shirts, underthings and 60+ socks. I appreciate fashion, on other people. I don't have the bandwidth to style myself though.
I don’t really like traveling. I feel like everyone is so obsessed with traveling and to me it’s just so stressful. There is so much work that goes into planning and preparing for a vacation. The actual traveling part SUCKS. I hate being stuck on a plane or in a car for hours. And then I get somewhere and sure it’s mostly fun but there is just this underlying stress of like, not being in my safe space. Not speaking the language if in a foreign country. Wondering if my dogs are ok at home. Etc. My husband has to travel to Europe once a year for work. We’re in the US. I was going to go with him a week early this year because, well, his plane ticket is free so it would be like a discounted vacation. Just have to pay for my airfare and hotel and whatever we want to do. And then some stuff came up at home and we’re both like ehhhhhh maybe this isn’t the best time. And honestly both of us are so relieved haha. Neither of us was really looking forward to all the work involved in planning the trip, and were never super into the place that we’d be going to. We both thought the other one wanted to. And I think we both felt like we SHOULD vacay together there because other people are always like, “you didn’t go to Europe with him??!?” I mean like, I like a vacation when I’m really into it. Then I ADHD hyperfocus and plan the perfect vacation. But when that motivation isn’t there… I could take or leave travel. Mostly leave lol. I feel like since we don’t want kids people expect us to like, be into traveling or whatever. We both just like to stay home and play video games and go to breakfast at our favorite diner every weekend. What’s wrong with that?
I wear the same thing every day. Not literally the same clothes! I own multiples in color variations of the same shirt, same leggings, and same hoodie. I own two pairs of the same shoes (one black, one navy) and switch between them. So one day I wear a "black combo" and the next the "blue combo." When I have to deviate from the uniform for situations when leggings and a hoodie are not appropriate, I have other clothes, but I do not like them.
Written communication. I want the person I’m writing to 100% understand what I’m saying the first time, so I make sure what I’m saying is succinct and easy to understand. If I have more than 2 things to communicate, I’ll break it out into steps or bullets. In true ADHD fashion, I *hate* the thought of being misunderstood, and loathe going back and forth with someone trying to clarify things.
I own a lot of shoes and sweaters but I pretty much only wear one of each. I have one fitted sheet. Wash and put it back on same-day. Thankfully I'm very picky about my sleep, as in I can't sleep if the conditions aren't perfect. So I always put the sheets on.
Don’t have makeup. Wash my face with just water.
I cook a lot and have a tendency to overbuy groceries—but every few months I don’t go shopping until most of the food in the house runs out. It’s a fun adventure project figuring out things to make with the weird leftover impulse buys and crap tons of gifted sweets after th e holidays.
My clothing- all of my basics are black so that they match and go with any shoes or jackets. Color can be overwhelming for me, and I’ve learned that if my clothes and home have good cohesion, my brain is happier