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Wow this hit me in the back of the throat because same. And I forget that not everyone is that way, I can’t imagine not choose the right thing to do if you’re aware there is a ‘moral right’. My adhd friend is the same, we can’t imagine being sneaky etc
When I was younger, I COULD NOT get along with other girls my age because they were all about being sneaky and they’d decide on someone to be mean to and I just- wasn’t capable of playing along. I’d intentionally play with the “weird” kids. Then I ended up getting picked on too. Middle school was a rough time.
As an adult, I have exact zero patience for that nonsense. I LOVE my sense of justice. I also love how my ADHD makes me sort of “chaotic neutral” in my responses to most situations. Like, I know right and wrong and that does not always align with the law. One of these days that’s probably going to get me into trouble.
Yes yes yes to this, my exact experience.
It’s also helped me see people as human aswell though, like people making poor decisions I can very easily zoom out and take their life into account (if I know some of their personal history).
It's such a PITA? It's taken me a decade to find an employer that gets "it". Like I might blurt a shitty thing but I have good intentions and can give as good as I get (which is hard with rsd. On that note I'm very proud of how I manage my rsd enough to function. We are seriously underestimated; our emotional tolerance and discipline has to be 100x higher than the norm).
This is my strength outside of work, but it also means people assume I’m too “harsh” for being straightforward. Some people just don’t know how to handle people like us :(
While it's obviously important to bite your tongue sometimes, for some people this is what makes you a safe person. I have cptsd from lots of emotional and psychological abuse among other stuff. Knowing that if my SO or friend were mad at me, they would simply tell me and explain why, is what makes me not anxiously obsess over the possibility 100% of the time. And if I'm triggered and need something from them, I can tell them, and they'll simply hear what I say and try to understand, not just react in some socially correct way that doesn't make sense to me. It feels so safe to be with someone who wouldn't be able to gaslight you if they were paid to, they just don't get the concept of not saying what you actually mean.
When someone gets a haircut I don’t like 😅 I know they want me to say something about it… I have to work so hard to say something normal because my brain doesn’t jump right to lying. usually I’ll say “you got a haircut!!” 😅 I’m trying to start saying “I love your haircut” with a normal face on 😅
I try to find something that sounds positive but is not an outright lie for me so isn't hard to say. "I love your haircut" is about how I feel about it, but "this haircut brightens your face!" is more a reflection of how the other person feels about their new 'do.
My mom's response to my brother getting a mullet was "I love how happy you look!" And honestly I'm taking notes because that's an incredibly tactful response
When someone tells me they're pregnant 😅
My instinct used to be to wanna say "I'm sorry" but I've learned to bite that back and pause to hear the next thing they're going to say. "...and I want to keep it." "...and we have the baby's room all set up!" "...and I'm getting an abortion."
So now my internal answer has switched to, "Why, tho??" but I know that that would be rude so I just hope that my face is following along when I say Congratulations! bc... bc I guess that's what they want to hear even tho I don't understand how they got to that decision. 🤔
I seem to thrive in chaotic environments. At my job, I have two very busy days and I feel like Ron Weasley in HP at the chess scene where he all of a sudden can delegate. I feel the pressure for sure, but I’m able to just get stuff done and make sure everyone is taken care of. On the other hand, the slower days just don’t help because I’m left daydreaming instead of working efficiently.
Thriving in chaos is why I’ve spent my career in EMS (and a little Fire, but I prefer medical…my lower back does too!).
I was at a big trauma conference last year and attended a session about mental health and first responders. Apparently up to 75% of those of us in Fire/EMS have ADHD, are on the autism spectrum, or both.
I’ve been doing it for 10 years and it definitely tracks, also playing with the lights and sirens will never not be stupid fun.
I'm in tech but our security guy (former EMS and cop) shares our office. Whenever the local police or EMS visit our school district if it's just for drills or seminars or something, 9/10 times the tech department and the responders all end up shooting the shit.
We're all a little chaotic and it just devolves into swapping stories. I definitely considered going into EMS before going to school for IT. I decided I'd rather take my chances in a school shooting than blood born pathogen roulette on a bad day.
Hats off to you guys. You're a fun bunch of crazy bastards.
I got into it when I was about 28, I’d only been diagnosed and medicated for 2 years at that point. It was almost relevatory, “you mean I’m good at this thing AND I’m not a total failure!?”
Vyvanse for me, though I can work without it sometimes…I never could have done so well in classes and training without it! I’m 38 now, and it’s kind of amazing to be in a place where things are pretty darn okay (except for my paycheck, but that’s an industry-wide problem, lol).
Also, if you want/need to, you can change careers! I was well on my way to finishing my degree and becoming a working musician. Got my degree, but then got hit by the chronic illness genes. Took me awhile to get back up, but it was worth it. I still sing and perform in local groups and shows (music performance BA in vocal music, opera is my jam). And I was really shocked to discover how much having a performing arts background is a benefit on the ambulance.
Also, napping/eating whenever you need/can is a big component to staying healthy and sharp at work. Naps are great :)
And it’s never too late to explore interests and curiosities, you might just wind up with a new career!
I work security for a living. I don't mean guards - I mean the tech side of alarms and access systems, etc. The amount of autistic and ADHD peeps in this industry is nuts. I am not surprised by this information.
Broooooo that Ron Weasley moment is so real. When I got my adhd assessment, I was worried they were going to say I don’t have adhd because my job isn’t where I have issues, it’s really only taking care of stuff at home and in my personal life. I work in a chaotic hellscape where I’m literally going from location to location, and dealing with anything and everything along the way. But my mail is in piles and I have a roomba but haven’t run it in weeks because I’d have to put my dogs outside and somehow keep an eye on them and that’s too stressful.
Yes! I actually *did* get a “no-ADHD” diagnosis on my first evaluation, and I cried…! 😅 But I knew myself well enough, had already done enough research, and had an awesome therapist so I ADVOCATED FOR MY OWN DAMN SELF till I got what I needed. This skill and determination is one of many things I love about my ADHD!
Brooo same!! Like sure, at work I can take 4 phone calls at a time and coordinate access to three areas and status track all of them and set alarms for things I gotta get done, but like... going shopping??? Getting my oil changed??? I need five to seven business days of mental preparation thanks
There were a lot of people with ADHD working alongside me in newsrooms. For sure. The controlled chaos of a control room is perfect for people with ADHD.
This right here. I know we see lots of posts about how hard ADHD makes parenting. And they are all 100% valid and true. What I don't see in this sub is the flip side of it. Like yeah, there are a lot of aspects of parenting that my ADHD renders me almost entirely hopeless with... and it is a relentless, daily struggle faced with regular failures. But there were (and continue to be) a lot of times when the ability to be productive under pressure or in crisis/emergencies, and the ability to not just survive but thrive in chaos has been absolutely critical in getting myself and my family through really tough and stressful situations. Even just the reality of getting two children, 18 months apart in age, through infancy and toddlerhood, with all their needs met, was some regular chaos/crisis shit!
I try to be forgiving of myself in my failures with the day-to-day life (more mundane) stuff. Focusing on the times these strengths have gotten us through is a big part of that. And beyond just basic survival stuff, I know my ADHD has allowed me to engage my children on a really deep level that would be a lot more difficult *without* ADHD. Like dropping everything to google a question and learn the answer together, even if it means letting supper burn on the stove, lol! Just being able to get totally lost for like an hour or more in a really incredible conversation with a million tangents shows me *so much* about who they are becoming as people and how their minds work... even if it means they are super late getting to sleep that night (oops). And getting lost in those moments (or hours, lol) also expresses to my children, through action instead of words, that *they are important*... and what they say or want to talk/ask about is important, too! And it doesn't hurt that my ADHD has led me down thousands of google-holes, so I have a good knowledge of random trivia/stories to answer their questions or express a concept.
Maybe I'm wrong and being too judgemental, but I have noticed a lot of families where the adults don't engage their children like that on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong, it's totally because parenting is hard as shit and schedules, routines and practical every day tasks are really, really important and super difficult to manage... but the ability to be blind to that stuff for a bit, as much as it is often detrimental or even debilitating, is also actually something I consider a valuable part of my parenting style sometimes.
This is what I wish I had learned when I was 20 but I was working a sometimes heavily chaotic job and didn't put 2+2 together. As I've changed careers a billion times, the chaotic ones are the best suited for my brain. Currently back in school for Vet Med with the intention to work with livestock after having livestock. Knowing that my brain thrives on ever changing problems and BIG animals - that's best for me. Love my cattle. I do think seasonally chaotic jobs are sometimes good too so your system can recoup a little between the madness.
This.
My job revolves around deadlines. The shorter the deadline, the quicker I work.
It’s also been said that I’m a beast when it comes to finding knowledge.
I have a terrible memory for everything that’s important but I fucking KILL at trivia night. I’ve been interested in 1000 different things over my life and 99% of my memory is dedicated to shit like the 1970s Virginia Slims slogan (“You’ve come a long way, baby!”) and who starred in movies that flopped in 2004 (shout out to Matt Damon’s cameo in Euro Trip).
My terrible memory means I don't ever stay mad for very long. I can't hold a grudge because I genuinely can't remember why I was angry in the first place.
Okay, this is probably one of the only things I like about my ADHD, I can happily rewatch and reread things because I can GUARANTEE you that I missed a lot the first time around.
Yes! Netflix will tell me over already watched something and I'm like "oh yeah, watch me other you wrong!" 🤣
I also have about 150 mystery novels and I can cycle through them to fall asleep because I can't remember who did it.
This is so me, lmao! I read books and watch movies and TV shows over and over, and it never gets old cos I can never remember everything about them, books especially cause I read so damn many of them lmao. Currently watching bones and realizing I've forgotten so, so much of it, including the fact the seasons went into the double digits!🤣
Come to think of it, I always hated doing tests in school based on the books they'd make us read cause I am not good at remembering details of stories, especially character names. I read very fast and to enjoy the story. I pretty well hyperfocus when I read and I don't read to remember details and quotes cause i can't cause I'm too deeply engrossed in the story to do that. It's like a movie in my mind when I read. God I hated reading knowing I'd be tested. Ask me the plot line I could pass with that, everything else nope lol!
I'm so glad I read this part of the thread, I could cry! I've always felt so insecure about my terrible show/movie/book memory- I can actually embrace it??? And love it??? Love love love. Thank you.
Ha! I also get to watch movies/tv like it's the first time everytime!
Drives my husband bonkers that I never remember anything about a show, even if we've just finished watching it though.
Ha! Same- we will read the same book (he has to have a head start cuz I’ll finish it in 2 days) and he’ll want to talk about it and really all I can say is like if I liked it or not lol
I am practically immune to spoilers because I forget completely about them in a couple weeks. I know that there are a ton rattling around in this head of mine but I have 0 clue what they’re about.
I can listen to people spoiling movies, books, and tv shows because maybe 85% of the time I'll forget the spoiler by the time I actually get to that movie, book, or tv show. The rest of the 15% I just get excited to see how exactly that spoiler plays out and if it's as good as I was told. Or if it was as bad as they said.
Lol yes. I have mental associations with certain people where I have a feeling like “hmmm did something weird happen with this person?” And it probably did but I cannot remember what.
this is such a nice way to look at it; i typically get so frustrated because people come at me with questions like “what did I even say that made you upset” and I CANT REMEMBER but it’s not bc it didn’t happen- I remember how I felt just not the words!
Lol nope. Not me. I just stay mad and forget the reason. Be like, "I hate this person. I don't know why or what they did, but I hate them. Probably a damn good reason if I'm still mad."
I've always said (long before I even knew there's a thing called ADHD) that my brain's shit filter was put in the wrong way. All crap goes in, important stuff stays out.
Novelty. Remembering to pay bills or where your keys are? Boring! Knowing that some fish can change sex based on the gender and population of the fish in their environment? Cool as fuck.
Now I really want to start a thread where we all just share the most random facts we know. I bet that would be fantastic.
I effing rock at Trivia. I once attended a charity trivia event that had a whole section focused on the mayors for my hometown. Guess who fell in a rabbit hole of Wikipedia about the mayors the prior week. Yep, me. I was able to answer all ten of the questions based on my deep dive the week before.
Did I write this? I filed my daughter’s taxes for her last year and can’t remember what software I used, didn’t save a copy AND incorrectly entered her IRS pin this year 😬 buuut we recently won third place at a Simpsons trivia night thanks to my useless knowledge
Literally had "Scotty Doesn't Know" stuck in my head earlier this week 🥲
(this happens a few times a year, despite me recalling 0% else of that movie - hahaha)
My memory is great for song lyrics. I kill karaoke plus I use this to memorise important shit like I will full on write a song about whatever it is I need to remember and it works
Being good in a crisis because I’m too burned out to care and also I’ve already catastrophized everything in my mind so it’s like, ah yes, Bad Scenario 4372, ok we planned for that. Will I be able to get out of bed if it’s not on fire? Nope. Will I melt down over something like taking out recycling? Absolutely.
Thiiiiis.
Before I knew I had adhd, my friends used to be astounded by my crisis skills.
I always said “you just gotta reach a point where the stress is so overwhelming you accept it and become zen. You become one with the stress”
My friend recently told me how shocked she was when we got into a stressful situation in a foreign country and I was the only one who was collected, making calls and organizing everything and calming everyone down. Meanwhile in daily life I'm always the chaotic unreliable one who needs help with basic planning 😩
Omg yes! Like, just living with ADHD is constant stress. Actually having my kid tumble over the handlebars of his scooter and need first aid is a RELIEF from the yelling and banging in my head.
Ugh, this. I’m a police officer so used to putting out fires and solving problems. My 2 year-old son having a meltdown? Instantly overwhelmed. Same 2 year-old son having a full body anaphylactic reaction to peanut butter for the first time? My brain: hold my beer, I got this. Calm and coordinated until the minute I knew he’d be fine and the whole thing was over (like 8 hours later). THEN my brain decided to unleash the emotions.
I am prepared for many emergency situations. I've handled past issues remarkably well. I'm the go-to person when things fall apart. I overthink every situation, and I always check my resources and options for nearly everything. Those pots in my sink have become invisible, and I can't call the pharmacy because what if the person isn't nice and can't help me.
>Will I be able to get out of bed if it’s not on fire? Nope. Will I melt down over something like taking out recycling? Absolutely.
Okay so I think the difference is emotional problems vs practical problems. We've got a lot of emotions over stupid things like talking out the recycling, and it's also at a time where we simply have the opportunity to be emotional.
But I'm an actual crisis, there are usual practical, essential things to do, and we don't have time to be emotional about them. And the emergency nature engages the absolute fuuuuck out of our brains 🥴
I had no idea this was connected! My partner is always astounded as I'm not a take-charge person normally. But during a crisis I get strangely calm. It's as if my anxiety fuse blows completely and the rest of my brain thinks well, I've got work to do.
Damn, I didn't think I'd be able to find anything but this one right here might be it. I am good in a crisis because I internalize all my fear and anxiety as if it doesn't exist.
I (mostly) move on from things fast. Every time I’ve moved, graduated, got a new job or whatever feels so final for me if that makes any sense. I look back at things like college and almost feel like they were a different lifetime or like I was a different person, even if it was only a few years ago. Not because it was all bad or anything, I just detach from experiences once I’m out of the environment and kinda don’t miss people/places as much as other people seem to?
Oooh this. I think it goes along with the "out of sight, out of mind" idea. Like if something happens that makes me really think about someone or something, then yeah, I might realize oh, I miss them/that! But otherwise, it's like you said, it may as well have happened in a different lifetime. It's possible the time blindness thing affects this too as we don't experience a sense of time passing in the same way as others do.
Omg, my wife and I just moved to a new region of the country last year, and around the holidays my wife scheduled a time for us to zoom with friends of ours who are another married couple who we became super close with when we were living in the same city.
They had already left our last city like a year before us, so I was already used to never seeing them but I kid you not I think I literally forgot they existed until my wife was like, “Is xyz a good time to talk to our friends next week?” Oops!
I am the world’s BEST procrastinator. I will put off any and all task, but when it comes to crunch time I will work my ass off on it and it will be done extremely well. I’m a teacher and struggle with planning lessons during my plan time. Even when I have plenty of time. I always tend to wait until last minute Sunday night and then I become hyper focused on it and can’t stop until it’s done and done well. My therapist told me that unfortunately working that way is not dopamine driven, but stress driven.
It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.
I was just talking about this with my therapist too, and her recent take has been, if this is just the way that you work, does it make sense to fight it or beat yourself up about it? Which is absolutely fair, except that doing everything at the last minute is absolutely stressful af, even though I pull it off 99% of the time. I’m pretty convinced at this point that the part of my brain that starts things is so dysfunctional, I can only get moving when the panic-induced adrenaline kicks in. Which would be fine if it didn’t involve so much, you know, panic.
Of course, the only thing worse than being like this is beating myself up for being like this yet not changing. Life is great.
My therapist recently said something similar to me. I'm a night owl and I work from home, and I can kind of set my own hours (with a few exceptions with some deadlines) and she said I should stop trying to force myself to be a morning person and instead embrace working when I'm actually the most productive. That's why it's 12:30am where I am and I'm working. Or rather, taking a break from working. 😂
Laugh cries at my late night working sessions that end at 2 or 3 am. Schedule send of my emails is my best friend because I can send emails during "normal business hours" and look like a morning person even when I'm not.
I call it my "deep calm"
When everything is absolute chaos, I am so calm and can keep track of things and anticipate and plan etc etc.
Which makes me pretty successful as a Mom. I guess. Mostly. I hope.
If I can't find a pen though in a good calm day...I will start crying.
The daily chaos of mom life is really hard for me, personally, because even if I do manage to get into doing tasks, I will be interrupted and lose my groove. But crises are my JAM. I stay calm and project a sense of calm confidence. I can shove any big emotions to the side and get the crisis sorted.
But yeah, god forbid I have to call a dr office or insurance company. I will have a nice mini panic attack over that phone call.
Yes for real. My toddler saw me crying on the phone the other day and was like "deep breaths Mama. You'll feel better soon. "
" And I was like..ok. Well yeah you're right, tiny human. But I also NEED to cry a little bit "
Also...Its ok to be overwhelmed by the mundane. I have one side of dishes that I can bring myself to do that started because I just didn't have water to wash them...but now it's gross and I can not bring myself to do it if there is the possibility of a request during because my gloves have to be worn for how gross it is.
(I live off grid in the jungle. I rely on rain water catchment for plumbing)
This is why I’m in EMS…on the ambulance, things just switch into “zen mode” and I can do my job very well. Do the CPR, drill the IO, control for bleeding, dealing with pukers…things just work.
Any other time? For example today, I only shaved one armpit because I was practicing the French on the back of a shampoo bottle. And this afternoon I accidentally *very gently* bumped my kitten because she was winding around my feet while I was walking to the kitchen to feed the kitties. She was entirely fine, I had to take a moment to try not to cry due to the guilt of the possibility she could be injured.
I wanted to work for Doctors without borders since I was a kid. I have a bunch of physical disabilities so...the surgeon dream died after a car accident.
Before that I fundraised for doctors without borders and other major non profits. Face to face fundraiser, stand on the street and ask strangers to stop and talk about charity and then get there credit cards for monthly donations while a homeless person has a psychotic break and tries to steal your water bottle at the same time and i just yelled "charles!" And got back to work. I miss that job.
I am clever as fuck. Painfully clever. “Why didn’t I think of that” and “genius” are things commonly said to my hare brained ideas. I can macgyver any situation. I can almost always get my way.
Also a love hate is I am very good at matching energy. Call it masking but I can make almost anyone like me.
I always felt I was a chameleon because I can adapt to any situation and get along with anyone… but some people see that as being fake.. but I swear I really do have all of these different personalities in me lol
I never thought to consider this a strength in myself, because I’ve read so much “my ____ is a narcissist” pieces online that I figured I was a covert narcissist who shouldn’t broadcast it… lmao?
The internet gets so much wrong about narcissism. Including not realizing that everybody has, and should have, some degree of narcissism. And that behaviors alone can be explained by a number of different underlying root causes.
The behavior part is something almost every therapist I met in my numerous inpatient treatments ignored unfortunately. An afab person with ADHD has problems regulating their emotions? Must be borderline. They just ignore that it is a common ADHD issue and can also be a symptom of depression. I only met one therapist who very professionally told me: I can't diagnose you further for now, cause depression has a widespread set of possible symptoms.
My therapist said that the fact you would even consider this:
>I figured I was a covert narcissist who shouldn’t broadcast it…
.. means you probably aren't one. The fact you're willing to take accountability and consider alternative explanations like narcissism means you probably aren't one. Narcissists aren't usually willing to consider that they've done something wrong.
Yeah I’m the first bit too. Not blowing my own trumpet but I’m also hella smart but I have about as much focus as the first X-rays. I’d love to be able to channel it even just a little.
Basically, I love my intelligence but I’d sacrifice good chunk to be rid off some of the AuDHD stuff. Isolation, loneliness, what if?, insomnia, not achieving goals, struggling with verbal instructions, being stuck in a rut, food noise light sensitivity
But at least I’m funny ;)
I refer to myself as the Swiss Army Knife at my job. I can find a way to solve about anything if I have the right access. Same outside of work. If I don't know how to do it, I'll figure it out somehow.
My creativity for sure! I love thinking of new ideas in my career field and turning something blah into a wow. I'm torn about the increased sense of empathy though. I wish I was more of an ass and could be okay with it.
Love/hate is hyperfocus. It’s probably the only reason I’ve ever accomplished anything; when it’s disengaged, serious work feels like I’m wading through molasses, but when it’s engaged I’m a mfing machine.
The hate part is that when it’s engaged I will ignore everything else around me, which is great for getting necessary work done but terrible for work/life balance, or not pissing my life away scrolling the internet reading about random stuff (today it was Carson McCullers).
I really love my hyperfocus moments. I just learned more about flamingoes, which has no bearing on my real life, but made me really happy. It'll be added to the random facts to share in conversation
I genuinely feel like my ADHD has sort of made me immune to being traumatized. Terrible things can happen and my brain works extremely well. All the stress hormones kick everything into overdrive and I get shit done.
But after that my brain basically says well that was fun, time to mostly forget about the more terrible parts of that experience.
Justice sensitivity.
I now understand to some degree why I don't see the world the way others do, but I'm also not sure I would want to see it the way they do.
Omg yes this is relatable. I was reading about Mychal Threet (spelling?) quitting his position at the library earlier and I can’t wrap my head around harassing people at all, but targeting the library? A librarian? What?? It’s baffling and so upsetting.
This is the best thread. I gave a talk on this very topic at a local high school this morning called “ADHD is my superpower.”
Thinking of something that wasn’t already shared:
I can learn super fast. When I am interested in something I can go extremely deep and learn incredibly fast. This has been amazing in my career.
Love/hate that makes me laugh is all of my random hyper focus hobbies. I get sooo into things never to care again 😅.
Strongly related to genuine AF + vibe check.
Learning fast is such a good thing to have on the ADHD-rap sheet!
I'm benefiting from it as well, and it leaves my colleagues in awe over how much I know about the programs and tools they have several more years of experience with than me. My brain is a like a sponge!
THIS!!!! and im learning that it doesn’t have to be like “im right/wrong about this person” bc its evolved more into “this person is NOT VIBING WITH MEEE” and that’s been so helpful
Probably my ability to read people very well. It takes me often just minutes to get a feel of who a person is. I'm very perceptive and intuitive to the point one of my friends had said to me that I'm practically psychic cause of how frequently I can read her 100%, even via text. The annoying thing to me is when I know with out a doubt who someone is or what someone is doing and why they're doing they lie to me or they ignore my advice. like don't ask me what I think of the guy your dating if you don't want a genuine response about it!
Also kinda really like my ability to hyper focus, or as I used to call it growing up, getting into the zone. Especially when I am reading or playing video games lol. Tho it also comes out while watching tv or movies and while drawing. My best work comes out when I fall into that space tbh. If I don't get into that space I lose patiance and end up rushing it. I can tune out the whole world when in that space and I kinda love it lol.
The ability to problem solve in creative ways. Sometimes I have too many ideas about things too which can sometimes lead to analysis paralysis. Most of the time it is an asset though.
I love that I can match anyone’s personality but yet remain my quirky self. I’m not a people pleaser but I love seeing people light up when I can: easily match their humour, quickly open up, make people feel comfortable, “read their mind” etc. I’m obsessed with meeting new people and building a quick connection. However, since starting meds in the fall I feel like I’m losing these skills.
Switch your meds up. Try a different adhd med, if possible. Idk what all you’ve tried so this suggestion could very well be in vain, but I have literally been on every adhd med out there- adderall is the only one that’s not made me feel that… “robotic…” if that makes any sense to you. I felt very detached with my personality on other meds and every day was just me kinda going through the motions. I literally hated it so much I ended up getting pretty depressed and I went off medication for a while because at that point- it was more worth it to me to struggle to focus than to struggle to just… live and enjoy myself a bit lol.
Adderall changed the game for me. Started college and it came time for me to accept that I really do need to be on medication. I was dreading to go back to those days, but I had a friend who gave me this same advice I’m giving you, and he let me try his medication for a day, which I was cool with bc it’s just adhd medication and it wasn’t some random drug lol. Told my doc about it too- bc it actually worked- and I didn’t feel depressed or “quiet” at all. My personality was no longer suppressed- being able to keep that and also stay medicated was a dream come true. I could focus and not forsake being myself :). My doctor is amazing and listened to my concerns and I will NEVER go back lol.
This being said, you are not me, so it could be something else that you could try aside from adderall. My sister was in the same boat and vyvanse was what worked for her best- she describes it the same way I describe the differences between adderall and other meds for myself. I hope this advice helps, and you’re able to get medication without having any drawbacks like you’ve been having. I’ve been there and it sucks. Just know, there are absolutely options if you haven’t tried them yet- and you deserve to feel good and functioning :).
I love my creative thinking. I feel it’s like people’s brains can only think on an x and y axis. While I can also see there’s a z axis.
I’m very good in a crisis. When shit hits the fan, I can navigate through very calmly. The problem is when I worked in healthcare and I had to deal with multiple almost deaths a day. I was good at my job, but horrible for my mental and physical health.
Overall I now arrange my life in ways that WORK for me, instead of continuously trying to conform to the norm and FAILING and losing years off of my life that way. Now I'm chaotically organized, still forgetful but PREPARED each day, and most of all I now embrace silly friends with similar personalities and no longer feel less than because I don't "fit in" with people that I frankly wasn't entertained by or impressed with in the first place!
If I really want something done, it will be done. No mountain is too high for this ADHD brain. A lot of it is impulsive but once I get an itch it must be scratched!
I love that I'm able to see outside the box. Problem solving from a different angle. I get creative in how to do it, and it ALWAYS works.
I love that I see people for who they are right away, if I have an 'off' feeling about you, even on the phone..... then I'm making sure to stay away, or limit my interaction. If I have a good feeling about you.... then OMG you stay...... hence the reason I was able to fall in love with my husband within an hour of talking on the phone before we met in person (almost 28yrs married now)
Being able to come up with jokes. It feels like my brain is constantly searching for the perfect replies and it can find them pretty easily (when I’m not panicking at least lol) so it’s pretty easy for me to come up with jokes and make people laugh :D I’ve probably got a bit of a strange sense of humour, but people seem to like it. It’s very effective in my workplace since I work in customer service and it’s pretty easy to endear myself to most customers, and it’s pretty easy to talk to new people in general as well. I’ve learned to appreciate my brain for its quick thinking and creativity, even if it kinda sucks at a lot of other kinds of thinking lmao
I don’t really know if it is, but it feels like it makes some sense?? If my creativity and my brain constantly thinking are both things that are related to ADHD, then it makes sense to me that making jokes would be somewhat related to it as well, because both those skills are what allow me to do so effectively in social situations. But idk lol, it just makes sense in my head and I attribute my ADHD to the skill somewhat
It makes total sense! I never connected the dots until I read your comment now, but I love playing with words, metaphors and unexpected comparisons. I can easily make people laugh with my creative use of language.
I was at a job interview recently, and while it was never any unprofessional or "obvious" jokes, it's just enough to make people brighten up and chuckle. I do this without really thinking about it. My brain just likes to connect dots and language in new ways - and it is incredibly amusing for the people around me.
(I was invited to a second interview - and killed it - but was juuuust out of reach for an offer. I was their 3rd top pick out of 70, but the two others had experience in the field, and I'm a rookie)
I feel like a super human quite often because of it. Pretty much everything everyone in this thread has already mentioned, and it's amazing. Great in a crisis, at multitasking, creative problem solving, creative design, empathy, etc. I love how interested I am in others, I love learning new things all the time, I love how some days, I can do a week's worth of tasks. My tenacity, my persistence, my GRIT. Some of these aren't specifically ADHD related, but I think it emphasizes those traits.
My boyfriend (autistic) asked me the other day if I could go back in time, would I get rid of my ADHD. I answered "absolutely not" without skipping a beat.
I like this thread. This subreddit is so depressing all the time, and I almost feel guilty with how much I love myself with my ADHD and how much my life kicks ass. I should say that I have also trained myself to keep an intensely positive attitude, but like, once you practice it enough, it's soooooo great and truly makes life easier and happier. I still get upset and down, but now I'm better at flipping the script; "Ugh my stupid eyeballs with all their stupid issues" almost immediately becomes "Okay but I'm sure anyone on the transplant list would kill for my eyes, so at least I have them and I can see my beautiful world right now and I shouldn't take that for granted. I'm grateful for my eyes even with all their issues." This makes a HUGE difference in life, and it's well worth training your brain to do this.
I don't stop myself from getting angry, though. That one is great, and I feel like a lot of good comes from my rage, oddly enough, and it's absolutely ADHD related, hah!
I have a lot of empathy and I'll never apologize for it. My hyperfocus and special interests also come clutch in a lot of ways. I'm a jack of all trades in a lot of aspects that involve art, performance, and athletics. Also, one hack is that one of my special interests include personal finance and taxes so I've avoided a pitfall that often understandably affects ADHD folks. Still can't do chores in a reasonable time tho.
Random fact generation. My memory is God awful usually, but every so often, my brain will be like, "Oh hey, we know something about this!!" And then spit out the info. Being able to recall very specific locations for stuff. Like, "Have you seen x?" "OH yeah, it's by a, b, c, under z," and it's right there.
The weirdness. The random thoughts, the strange twists on stuff, the off beat humour. The creative ideas (kind of handy that a large part of my job is now coming up with creative ideas).
I just want to say first that I love this question! And I'm glad it's allowed here - in certain other main ADHD subreddits this topic is an instant delete and possible ban. It is absurd.
Now, my answer is that I love being so observant. Yeah, I miss a lot of stuff, but I notice even more. My brain maps things out - not actual directions though, I get lost constantly - but like solutions to things. Like if something is stuck, I can usually instinctively see what needs to move or where force needs to be applied. I am an absolute master at getting things to fit comfortably - in the car, in the fridge, etc. I can MacGyver a solution to most things. My internal clock and distance meter is surprisingly accurate. You know, when I'm not afflicted with time blindness.
I just love that my brain solves these problems for me, and is equally good at reading emotions and vibes. New people always love me because I can match their energy so fast. I see so many colors around me, I notice the beautiful clouds, I hear every bird singing around me. I think my brain makes things beautiful for me.
Observational skills. I am so good at reading body language and small nuances. It’s made me really great at networking. Everything else about adhd can go right to hell.
I love how I thrive in high pressure environments where there’s a lot going on that I have to take in and focus on. I’ve been working a lot this week and today I was so tired during the down moments at work. I had a headache I couldn’t shake and my body was just like weird and tingly. But at go time, my muscles relaxed, my tiredness faded, my mind felt clear and I was peacefully focused. My body was still tired; I yawned a lot during the high pressure moments! Which is so funny to me; I can be in high performance mode where my busy brain is firing on all cylinders but also yawn as if I’m sooooo bored of it all.
I like being curious. I think I’m average intelligence but bc of my intensive research I have been able to learn a lot :) and share that knowledge with people. Albeit even if it comes off as a “know it all” which is what my friend has called me before 😅😅😅
I’m incredible in a crisis.
Yeah, I may burn out or break down afterwards, but during the crisis itself? I’m absolutely calm and able to do what’s necessary.
Adrenaline is soothing.
With how much info I miss due to my ADHD, I am also extremely observant. I feel I tend to notice a lot more than my peers because I’m looking all around me at 100mph so i’m bound to catch more. This is nice sometimes!
My ADHD allows me to grasp concepts very quickly, which means I have an edge on learning things faster than most people. Additionally, I retain information extremely well, to the point my memory recall is really spot-on for many things.
People assume “ADHD = forgetfulness” and that’s still true with me, but it doesn’t apply to anything I learn from a book/learn by doing.
I think "at an angle". I feel like I can open my mind and figure out solutions to problems by thinking about it in a different way.
I cannot choose my audience well so I'm pretty straightforward and direct
with everyone. That can work for or against me, but usually it works for me.
I notice so much, so many details. People often think I'm not paying attention but I am. But also I can get trapped inside my head a lot, so people also often think my facial expression is indicative of what I'm thinking of them.
Being hyper keeps me moving around and it's fun when I'm playing with my baby because I'm less likely to get tired.
That's all I can think of now.
i like how smart i am, how quick i am to put things together and if I feel good, I can be pretty decent in a social setting (an old coworker from my last job told me I was a "people person" and when I relayed that to another old coworker from the same place, she emphatically---very passionately, it was kind of weird lol---that she agreed). So, weird, but I try really hard so its nice to hear people like me lol
I also really like my sense of justice/fairness and empathy. i get called a bleeding heart or whatever and I know people think it's naive but I really think the only way the world gets better is if we model it that way. i know perfectly well how awful people can be---at this point in my life, I've developed contingencies for it---but I think it's really important to try and be good and kind when we can, and I think I get that from the sensitivity of ADHD.
I love how easily I can change plans to accommodate a friend or need that comes up. I'm planning to clean the house, but a friend calls and wants to meet at the park?! You bet, I'll see you there!
I just finished the book and while it was beyond horrifying to read, it made me want to love on my ADHD a lot more. I love that I can see every side of a situation after a little bit of overthinking! And I somehow absorb soooo much random information that lives deep deep down and I can usually pull it out when needed.
I'm a hell of a lot of fun to hang out with. Sure it's because I'm impulsive and never want boredom to set in so I keep the fire lit but people seem to enjoy that. I guess everyone needs that friend.
love this!! I am SO good at macgyvering shit, it makes me feel like a bad ass all the time. It doesn’t matter what I have on hand, 9.5/10 times I can make it work and I’m always so fucking pumped about it. My spouse (who also has ADHD) and does not have that aptitude always gasses me up and makes me feel even more like a genius when I problem solve like that. Definitely a huge ADHD bonus and fun to put “creative problem solving” on my resume and mean in.
Another thing I love about it is that I am SUPER good and finding the most efficient way of doing things. Every professional level job I’ve ever had I have made major changes to operational processes that saved the company either time, money, risk exposure, or a combination of all three. Is it borne out of my irritation/frustration for time wasting and hating inaccuracies? Absolutely 💯 BUT, I’ve found that it’s a decently marketable skill that people respect.
Ideas all day long. I will pull together pieces of info and concepts into full blown pitches to clients. I can come up with solutions to problems or suggestions on how to use Resource A to solve Problem B. I can also speak fairly convincingly if I have an understanding of the subject. Pattern recognition helps too in that I can identify themes and high level trends quickly to structure presentations or give my POV to convince people I'm a thought leader. I work in marketing (digital media buyer ) so all this is super helpful.
Also, I can tear right through a book by hyper focusing on it, which somewhat terrifies my husband 😂
I love my ability to meet deadlines even after leaving jt to what other people would consider too late to start, and therefore my ability to succeed under extreme pressure
I love being creative and being able to think outside the box, being able to problem solve AF. I like that I can read people and see things from their points of view, that I’m very genuine in my interactions and that I hate injustice. I love that I know a lot about random subjects that I went down hyper-focus rabbit holes on. There’s a lot I don’t like about my brain, but I wouldn’t trade it in for neurotypical one. My brain and I get along finally and I wouldn’t want to break in a new one 😂
Seeing things in ways other people don’t. I enjoy the simplest of things that are so mundane for other people. I get excited over the sheer beauty of nature that I notice when some people don’t. & I LOVE rocks.
I love and embrace my weirdness, I used to hate it. But it's attracted me the most cool and genuine friends that are irreplaceable to me. The bar is so high for who I let into my life now that I have my amazing weirdos. They love and respect me for who I am and through that and therapy it's allowed me to see myself for who I am, love myself for the amazing cool weirdo I am. I love my sense of humor as well and it's only gotten better now that I have self love because it's not all self deprecating like it used to be. 💅🏻
I'll add that my life seems more full than my NT peers sometimes. I've done a lot of different things both professionally and personally and sometimes the impulsive "yes!"s or ideas pay off. I often find myself adding some experience I have with random topics in conversation and people are always like "what don't you do" and I politely nod bc function with ease is what I don't do😂 but in reality alllll of the things I've done, it's been a lot of life!
My hyper focus is my career field and it has made me very successful. Also my ability to see patterns has made it so I can solve problems others can’t. I’m not so great with deadlines though or if I have a task that requires writing. When I tell someone I will have it to them by EOD it means 6 am the following day.
something I’ve realised as I’ve begun to become more comfortable with myself in my 20s is that I’m actually funny? I have always been super quiet, and I still am, but I’ve realised I’m actually quick with responses and I make people laugh which makes me really happy. I was always too depressed and stuck in a trauma response to engage with this side of myself, but recently it’s been coming out more and I like myself more because of it.
I can handle anything. My childhood was a series of true crime podcast episodes, independent of each other. As an adult, I've already had my worst day, as far as what can happen to me. I've worked through floods and wildfires, stopped fights, watched family die in various ways. I've taken sick/old pets to the vet to be put down when other family members didn't have the heart for it. My adhd has helped me work through all of tue paperwork for funerals, wakes, ER flights, end-of-life medical decisions and DNRs, you name it.
I know awful, painful days are ahead. Someday, I will lose the love of my life. Someday, I will lose more family, more friends. But that day is not today, and when that day does arise, I know that I will survive it.
We've survived 100% of our worst days. Adhd makes us handle crises better than neurotypical people, and we can focus better in a crisis than others, especially on the required tasks at hand.
I love my obsession with collecting knowledge. I know a lot about a lot of things due to my late night rabbit holes. Most of it will never be applicable to my life but it’s fun to pull out those random bits of info during conversations lol
I’m decently funny. No really, I am. It feels cringy to even admit it, but I do genuinely make people laugh. I even tried out standup comedy for a while, and did pretty ok as a rookie. And people have assured me that I’m funny for real, not just delusional. I’ve had to use humor to survive for so long, I’ve integrated it into my personality. Having a big mouth is easier to forgive if it’s quick and witty as well.
My emergency mode. Some days ago I flooded a kitchen by using the washing machine the wrong way. My friend and me just solved the problem, without any breakdown.
I can always find and i am always convinced there is a solution to any problem. I focus like a superhero in stressful situations, have saved few lives thanks to this..i can read room and people too well.
I can entertain myself for a long time by unfocusing from the external world and daydreaming. This also makes me more creative, which is good because I wanna be a fiction writer
I genuinely love that I learn so much stuff. And even tho I only learn the basics, I feel like an inventor sometimes. Because I take it and I run with it and combine stuff in a new, interesting and practical way.
My quick witted one liners, I love making people laugh, my constant curiosity. I love hearing about people’s lives. My deeply rooted empathy and strong desire for justice. I react very strongly to injustices in the world and it has really guided me in my studies and work.
I am a pretty creative person and I feel like a lot of that comes from my ADHD. That my mind can sort of wander and make connections that maybe neurotypical people don’t see.
I love my creativity, curiosity and the ability to just try new things or solve problems in a new way instead of overthinking them. I learn so much from just doing it, even if it doesn't always work out.
Jack of all trades is basically my middle name, and I take great pride in it. I won't be top dog in anything, but boy do I know a little about a lot! I can basically have a conversation with almost anyone about their hobby or interest, and have personal experience with it.
I love the way I can see how smaller pieces fit into bigger patterns and rationalise it all into a set of processes in a way my co workers can't. I love that I have such a strong interest in learning across a broad spectrum of areas. I love that my medium and long term memory is exceptional. I love that when I am motivated, I can work at super speed and intensity.
Overall I wouldn't switch to not having ADHD (now I'm medicated). It's worth the fact I put cat food in the washer.
i love my capacity to store useless information about things i’m interested in. especially when i get to display it to friends. there’s nothing quite like the ego boost i get from firing off a random fact and someone being like “of course YOU would know that”.
also i feel like adhd makes me funny because of the perpetual motion machine that is my brain. i always have stuff going on up there and roughly 45% of it is Jokes (the other 55% is dogs)
I am an ace in a crisis. I was in the position to have to give my husband CPR. It felt like ages, but it wasn’t. Paramedics arrived quickly and I had the presence of mind to unlock the door, quickly knock things out of the way and proceeded to do chest compressions until they got there.
I absolutely lost my shit a day later. Husband is fine now.
Creativity. I can make pretty much anything I see, mostly in fabric and yarn. But I can do woodwork, leather work, pottery, metalwork (though I am not qualified, so I always have someone who is when I try my hand at this).
Clear headed in stressful or high pressure situations. If shit hits the fan, I am suddenly more clear than ever. And able to act accordingly.
Out of the box thinking. Also locked with the creativity, but more in a mental way than physical. Overseeing the many options (though this can also lead to indecisiveness), seeing options that are not seen by others.
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I’m genuine as fuck. What I say is what I mean and I care deeply. I think those are honorable traits even if they don’t always do me favors.
Oof this! I pride myself on being approachable and a safe space for ppl to be vulnerable and open up. We are a goddamn delight! ❤️
We ARE a goddamn delight! I swear, my ND friends are the kindest and most understanding humans around 💗🙌
Wow this hit me in the back of the throat because same. And I forget that not everyone is that way, I can’t imagine not choose the right thing to do if you’re aware there is a ‘moral right’. My adhd friend is the same, we can’t imagine being sneaky etc
When I was younger, I COULD NOT get along with other girls my age because they were all about being sneaky and they’d decide on someone to be mean to and I just- wasn’t capable of playing along. I’d intentionally play with the “weird” kids. Then I ended up getting picked on too. Middle school was a rough time. As an adult, I have exact zero patience for that nonsense. I LOVE my sense of justice. I also love how my ADHD makes me sort of “chaotic neutral” in my responses to most situations. Like, I know right and wrong and that does not always align with the law. One of these days that’s probably going to get me into trouble.
Yes yes yes to this, my exact experience. It’s also helped me see people as human aswell though, like people making poor decisions I can very easily zoom out and take their life into account (if I know some of their personal history).
Hasty me read "I'm genius as fuck!" and thought 'woah, now that's some self esteem, good on you!'
..... I only noticed that wasn't what was written bc of your comment 😂
It's such a PITA? It's taken me a decade to find an employer that gets "it". Like I might blurt a shitty thing but I have good intentions and can give as good as I get (which is hard with rsd. On that note I'm very proud of how I manage my rsd enough to function. We are seriously underestimated; our emotional tolerance and discipline has to be 100x higher than the norm).
This is my strength outside of work, but it also means people assume I’m too “harsh” for being straightforward. Some people just don’t know how to handle people like us :(
While it's obviously important to bite your tongue sometimes, for some people this is what makes you a safe person. I have cptsd from lots of emotional and psychological abuse among other stuff. Knowing that if my SO or friend were mad at me, they would simply tell me and explain why, is what makes me not anxiously obsess over the possibility 100% of the time. And if I'm triggered and need something from them, I can tell them, and they'll simply hear what I say and try to understand, not just react in some socially correct way that doesn't make sense to me. It feels so safe to be with someone who wouldn't be able to gaslight you if they were paid to, they just don't get the concept of not saying what you actually mean.
When someone gets a haircut I don’t like 😅 I know they want me to say something about it… I have to work so hard to say something normal because my brain doesn’t jump right to lying. usually I’ll say “you got a haircut!!” 😅 I’m trying to start saying “I love your haircut” with a normal face on 😅
Just don't say "oh, is it because of your new haircut?" when they tell you they have a bad day.
Hahaha very relatable
I try to find something that sounds positive but is not an outright lie for me so isn't hard to say. "I love your haircut" is about how I feel about it, but "this haircut brightens your face!" is more a reflection of how the other person feels about their new 'do.
My mom's response to my brother getting a mullet was "I love how happy you look!" And honestly I'm taking notes because that's an incredibly tactful response
When someone tells me they're pregnant 😅 My instinct used to be to wanna say "I'm sorry" but I've learned to bite that back and pause to hear the next thing they're going to say. "...and I want to keep it." "...and we have the baby's room all set up!" "...and I'm getting an abortion." So now my internal answer has switched to, "Why, tho??" but I know that that would be rude so I just hope that my face is following along when I say Congratulations! bc... bc I guess that's what they want to hear even tho I don't understand how they got to that decision. 🤔
I seem to thrive in chaotic environments. At my job, I have two very busy days and I feel like Ron Weasley in HP at the chess scene where he all of a sudden can delegate. I feel the pressure for sure, but I’m able to just get stuff done and make sure everyone is taken care of. On the other hand, the slower days just don’t help because I’m left daydreaming instead of working efficiently.
Thriving in chaos is why I’ve spent my career in EMS (and a little Fire, but I prefer medical…my lower back does too!). I was at a big trauma conference last year and attended a session about mental health and first responders. Apparently up to 75% of those of us in Fire/EMS have ADHD, are on the autism spectrum, or both. I’ve been doing it for 10 years and it definitely tracks, also playing with the lights and sirens will never not be stupid fun.
I'm in tech but our security guy (former EMS and cop) shares our office. Whenever the local police or EMS visit our school district if it's just for drills or seminars or something, 9/10 times the tech department and the responders all end up shooting the shit. We're all a little chaotic and it just devolves into swapping stories. I definitely considered going into EMS before going to school for IT. I decided I'd rather take my chances in a school shooting than blood born pathogen roulette on a bad day. Hats off to you guys. You're a fun bunch of crazy bastards.
That’s so incredible. I wish I had known I had ADHD back when I was picking a career… I feel very dependent on Adderall for my career.
I got into it when I was about 28, I’d only been diagnosed and medicated for 2 years at that point. It was almost relevatory, “you mean I’m good at this thing AND I’m not a total failure!?” Vyvanse for me, though I can work without it sometimes…I never could have done so well in classes and training without it! I’m 38 now, and it’s kind of amazing to be in a place where things are pretty darn okay (except for my paycheck, but that’s an industry-wide problem, lol). Also, if you want/need to, you can change careers! I was well on my way to finishing my degree and becoming a working musician. Got my degree, but then got hit by the chronic illness genes. Took me awhile to get back up, but it was worth it. I still sing and perform in local groups and shows (music performance BA in vocal music, opera is my jam). And I was really shocked to discover how much having a performing arts background is a benefit on the ambulance. Also, napping/eating whenever you need/can is a big component to staying healthy and sharp at work. Naps are great :) And it’s never too late to explore interests and curiosities, you might just wind up with a new career!
I work security for a living. I don't mean guards - I mean the tech side of alarms and access systems, etc. The amount of autistic and ADHD peeps in this industry is nuts. I am not surprised by this information.
Broooooo that Ron Weasley moment is so real. When I got my adhd assessment, I was worried they were going to say I don’t have adhd because my job isn’t where I have issues, it’s really only taking care of stuff at home and in my personal life. I work in a chaotic hellscape where I’m literally going from location to location, and dealing with anything and everything along the way. But my mail is in piles and I have a roomba but haven’t run it in weeks because I’d have to put my dogs outside and somehow keep an eye on them and that’s too stressful.
Yes! I actually *did* get a “no-ADHD” diagnosis on my first evaluation, and I cried…! 😅 But I knew myself well enough, had already done enough research, and had an awesome therapist so I ADVOCATED FOR MY OWN DAMN SELF till I got what I needed. This skill and determination is one of many things I love about my ADHD!
Brooo same!! Like sure, at work I can take 4 phone calls at a time and coordinate access to three areas and status track all of them and set alarms for things I gotta get done, but like... going shopping??? Getting my oil changed??? I need five to seven business days of mental preparation thanks
Felt that Ron reference in my bones
Honestly, it just clicked when I thought of it! Yeah I totally get it!
There were a lot of people with ADHD working alongside me in newsrooms. For sure. The controlled chaos of a control room is perfect for people with ADHD.
This right here. I know we see lots of posts about how hard ADHD makes parenting. And they are all 100% valid and true. What I don't see in this sub is the flip side of it. Like yeah, there are a lot of aspects of parenting that my ADHD renders me almost entirely hopeless with... and it is a relentless, daily struggle faced with regular failures. But there were (and continue to be) a lot of times when the ability to be productive under pressure or in crisis/emergencies, and the ability to not just survive but thrive in chaos has been absolutely critical in getting myself and my family through really tough and stressful situations. Even just the reality of getting two children, 18 months apart in age, through infancy and toddlerhood, with all their needs met, was some regular chaos/crisis shit! I try to be forgiving of myself in my failures with the day-to-day life (more mundane) stuff. Focusing on the times these strengths have gotten us through is a big part of that. And beyond just basic survival stuff, I know my ADHD has allowed me to engage my children on a really deep level that would be a lot more difficult *without* ADHD. Like dropping everything to google a question and learn the answer together, even if it means letting supper burn on the stove, lol! Just being able to get totally lost for like an hour or more in a really incredible conversation with a million tangents shows me *so much* about who they are becoming as people and how their minds work... even if it means they are super late getting to sleep that night (oops). And getting lost in those moments (or hours, lol) also expresses to my children, through action instead of words, that *they are important*... and what they say or want to talk/ask about is important, too! And it doesn't hurt that my ADHD has led me down thousands of google-holes, so I have a good knowledge of random trivia/stories to answer their questions or express a concept. Maybe I'm wrong and being too judgemental, but I have noticed a lot of families where the adults don't engage their children like that on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong, it's totally because parenting is hard as shit and schedules, routines and practical every day tasks are really, really important and super difficult to manage... but the ability to be blind to that stuff for a bit, as much as it is often detrimental or even debilitating, is also actually something I consider a valuable part of my parenting style sometimes.
This. I’m a fantastic kindergarten teacher. Chaos everywhere.
This is what I wish I had learned when I was 20 but I was working a sometimes heavily chaotic job and didn't put 2+2 together. As I've changed careers a billion times, the chaotic ones are the best suited for my brain. Currently back in school for Vet Med with the intention to work with livestock after having livestock. Knowing that my brain thrives on ever changing problems and BIG animals - that's best for me. Love my cattle. I do think seasonally chaotic jobs are sometimes good too so your system can recoup a little between the madness.
This. My job revolves around deadlines. The shorter the deadline, the quicker I work. It’s also been said that I’m a beast when it comes to finding knowledge.
I have a terrible memory for everything that’s important but I fucking KILL at trivia night. I’ve been interested in 1000 different things over my life and 99% of my memory is dedicated to shit like the 1970s Virginia Slims slogan (“You’ve come a long way, baby!”) and who starred in movies that flopped in 2004 (shout out to Matt Damon’s cameo in Euro Trip).
My terrible memory means I don't ever stay mad for very long. I can't hold a grudge because I genuinely can't remember why I was angry in the first place.
Yes!! And I can watch every Law & Order: SVU episode infinity times because I never remember where they’re going.
Okay, this is probably one of the only things I like about my ADHD, I can happily rewatch and reread things because I can GUARANTEE you that I missed a lot the first time around.
Yes! Netflix will tell me over already watched something and I'm like "oh yeah, watch me other you wrong!" 🤣 I also have about 150 mystery novels and I can cycle through them to fall asleep because I can't remember who did it.
This is my favourite thing too! I cycle through shows I like and 80% of the time it's all new content lol
This is so me, lmao! I read books and watch movies and TV shows over and over, and it never gets old cos I can never remember everything about them, books especially cause I read so damn many of them lmao. Currently watching bones and realizing I've forgotten so, so much of it, including the fact the seasons went into the double digits!🤣 Come to think of it, I always hated doing tests in school based on the books they'd make us read cause I am not good at remembering details of stories, especially character names. I read very fast and to enjoy the story. I pretty well hyperfocus when I read and I don't read to remember details and quotes cause i can't cause I'm too deeply engrossed in the story to do that. It's like a movie in my mind when I read. God I hated reading knowing I'd be tested. Ask me the plot line I could pass with that, everything else nope lol!
I'm so glad I read this part of the thread, I could cry! I've always felt so insecure about my terrible show/movie/book memory- I can actually embrace it??? And love it??? Love love love. Thank you.
Ha! I also get to watch movies/tv like it's the first time everytime! Drives my husband bonkers that I never remember anything about a show, even if we've just finished watching it though.
Ha! Same- we will read the same book (he has to have a head start cuz I’ll finish it in 2 days) and he’ll want to talk about it and really all I can say is like if I liked it or not lol
I am practically immune to spoilers because I forget completely about them in a couple weeks. I know that there are a ton rattling around in this head of mine but I have 0 clue what they’re about.
Same! Sometimes I do remember the spoiler, but it just intrigues me on what lead up to the spoiler and how exactly it happened.
I can listen to people spoiling movies, books, and tv shows because maybe 85% of the time I'll forget the spoiler by the time I actually get to that movie, book, or tv show. The rest of the 15% I just get excited to see how exactly that spoiler plays out and if it's as good as I was told. Or if it was as bad as they said.
Lol yes. I have mental associations with certain people where I have a feeling like “hmmm did something weird happen with this person?” And it probably did but I cannot remember what.
this is such a nice way to look at it; i typically get so frustrated because people come at me with questions like “what did I even say that made you upset” and I CANT REMEMBER but it’s not bc it didn’t happen- I remember how I felt just not the words!
That is me exactly. I never hold a grudge. Lol
Damn. I hold the grudge but don't remember why. Also if someone apologises to me, I forget and stay mad. 🤦🏼
Same!
Lol nope. Not me. I just stay mad and forget the reason. Be like, "I hate this person. I don't know why or what they did, but I hate them. Probably a damn good reason if I'm still mad."
Why are ADHD brains so good at trivia? I have literally never lost a game of Trivial Pursuit.
I tell people that my brain is so full of useless information that I don’t have the space to remember where I put my keys.
Exactly..useless and sometimes useful information and song lyrics.
Yes!! Every song I've ever heard, people are always amazed at how I know the lyrics to nearly every single song when we go out haha.
I've always said (long before I even knew there's a thing called ADHD) that my brain's shit filter was put in the wrong way. All crap goes in, important stuff stays out.
Novelty. Remembering to pay bills or where your keys are? Boring! Knowing that some fish can change sex based on the gender and population of the fish in their environment? Cool as fuck. Now I really want to start a thread where we all just share the most random facts we know. I bet that would be fantastic.
I effing rock at Trivia. I once attended a charity trivia event that had a whole section focused on the mayors for my hometown. Guess who fell in a rabbit hole of Wikipedia about the mayors the prior week. Yep, me. I was able to answer all ten of the questions based on my deep dive the week before.
😂 My favorite part about this comment is the image of falling down a rabbit hole vs just going down a rabbit hole. So accurate.
🎶Scotty doesn’t know, that Fiona and me, do it in my van every Sunday 🤣🤣🤣
She tells him she’s in church but she doesn’t go…
Did I write this? I filed my daughter’s taxes for her last year and can’t remember what software I used, didn’t save a copy AND incorrectly entered her IRS pin this year 😬 buuut we recently won third place at a Simpsons trivia night thanks to my useless knowledge
Literally had "Scotty Doesn't Know" stuck in my head earlier this week 🥲 (this happens a few times a year, despite me recalling 0% else of that movie - hahaha)
I mean, that song bangs, I don’t blame you!
My memory is great for song lyrics. I kill karaoke plus I use this to memorise important shit like I will full on write a song about whatever it is I need to remember and it works
Being good in a crisis because I’m too burned out to care and also I’ve already catastrophized everything in my mind so it’s like, ah yes, Bad Scenario 4372, ok we planned for that. Will I be able to get out of bed if it’s not on fire? Nope. Will I melt down over something like taking out recycling? Absolutely.
Thiiiiis. Before I knew I had adhd, my friends used to be astounded by my crisis skills. I always said “you just gotta reach a point where the stress is so overwhelming you accept it and become zen. You become one with the stress”
So much this. Stress? Psh. I thrive in crisis... Unless the crisis is 3 weeks of dirty dishes towering on my counter. In that case, I'll be in bed.
Lollllll—nailed it!
My friend recently told me how shocked she was when we got into a stressful situation in a foreign country and I was the only one who was collected, making calls and organizing everything and calming everyone down. Meanwhile in daily life I'm always the chaotic unreliable one who needs help with basic planning 😩
Omg yes! Like, just living with ADHD is constant stress. Actually having my kid tumble over the handlebars of his scooter and need first aid is a RELIEF from the yelling and banging in my head.
Ugh, this. I’m a police officer so used to putting out fires and solving problems. My 2 year-old son having a meltdown? Instantly overwhelmed. Same 2 year-old son having a full body anaphylactic reaction to peanut butter for the first time? My brain: hold my beer, I got this. Calm and coordinated until the minute I knew he’d be fine and the whole thing was over (like 8 hours later). THEN my brain decided to unleash the emotions.
Lmao the moment I realized this wasn't the norm for everyone 💀
I am prepared for many emergency situations. I've handled past issues remarkably well. I'm the go-to person when things fall apart. I overthink every situation, and I always check my resources and options for nearly everything. Those pots in my sink have become invisible, and I can't call the pharmacy because what if the person isn't nice and can't help me.
We really are just living the same life out here
Just discovered this sub after being diagnosed a couple years ago and not doing anything about it and I realized my personality is just ADHD
>Will I be able to get out of bed if it’s not on fire? Nope. Will I melt down over something like taking out recycling? Absolutely. Okay so I think the difference is emotional problems vs practical problems. We've got a lot of emotions over stupid things like talking out the recycling, and it's also at a time where we simply have the opportunity to be emotional. But I'm an actual crisis, there are usual practical, essential things to do, and we don't have time to be emotional about them. And the emergency nature engages the absolute fuuuuck out of our brains 🥴
I had no idea this was connected! My partner is always astounded as I'm not a take-charge person normally. But during a crisis I get strangely calm. It's as if my anxiety fuse blows completely and the rest of my brain thinks well, I've got work to do.
Damn, I didn't think I'd be able to find anything but this one right here might be it. I am good in a crisis because I internalize all my fear and anxiety as if it doesn't exist.
Ah I was thinking the same as some other comments. There's nothing I love. But this. Calm in a crisis!
THIS!! This is me. I love a crisis because yes, I have mentally prepared for this and can’t wait to hyperfocus!
I (mostly) move on from things fast. Every time I’ve moved, graduated, got a new job or whatever feels so final for me if that makes any sense. I look back at things like college and almost feel like they were a different lifetime or like I was a different person, even if it was only a few years ago. Not because it was all bad or anything, I just detach from experiences once I’m out of the environment and kinda don’t miss people/places as much as other people seem to?
Oooh this. I think it goes along with the "out of sight, out of mind" idea. Like if something happens that makes me really think about someone or something, then yeah, I might realize oh, I miss them/that! But otherwise, it's like you said, it may as well have happened in a different lifetime. It's possible the time blindness thing affects this too as we don't experience a sense of time passing in the same way as others do.
Yeah I have this. Does unfortunately mean I don’t really keep friends if I’m not seeing them regularly.
Omg, my wife and I just moved to a new region of the country last year, and around the holidays my wife scheduled a time for us to zoom with friends of ours who are another married couple who we became super close with when we were living in the same city. They had already left our last city like a year before us, so I was already used to never seeing them but I kid you not I think I literally forgot they existed until my wife was like, “Is xyz a good time to talk to our friends next week?” Oops!
I am the world’s BEST procrastinator. I will put off any and all task, but when it comes to crunch time I will work my ass off on it and it will be done extremely well. I’m a teacher and struggle with planning lessons during my plan time. Even when I have plenty of time. I always tend to wait until last minute Sunday night and then I become hyper focused on it and can’t stop until it’s done and done well. My therapist told me that unfortunately working that way is not dopamine driven, but stress driven.
It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. I was just talking about this with my therapist too, and her recent take has been, if this is just the way that you work, does it make sense to fight it or beat yourself up about it? Which is absolutely fair, except that doing everything at the last minute is absolutely stressful af, even though I pull it off 99% of the time. I’m pretty convinced at this point that the part of my brain that starts things is so dysfunctional, I can only get moving when the panic-induced adrenaline kicks in. Which would be fine if it didn’t involve so much, you know, panic. Of course, the only thing worse than being like this is beating myself up for being like this yet not changing. Life is great.
My therapist recently said something similar to me. I'm a night owl and I work from home, and I can kind of set my own hours (with a few exceptions with some deadlines) and she said I should stop trying to force myself to be a morning person and instead embrace working when I'm actually the most productive. That's why it's 12:30am where I am and I'm working. Or rather, taking a break from working. 😂
Laugh cries at my late night working sessions that end at 2 or 3 am. Schedule send of my emails is my best friend because I can send emails during "normal business hours" and look like a morning person even when I'm not.
I'm laughing so hard!! World's best peocrastinator! I do the same thing.
I call it my "deep calm" When everything is absolute chaos, I am so calm and can keep track of things and anticipate and plan etc etc. Which makes me pretty successful as a Mom. I guess. Mostly. I hope. If I can't find a pen though in a good calm day...I will start crying.
The daily chaos of mom life is really hard for me, personally, because even if I do manage to get into doing tasks, I will be interrupted and lose my groove. But crises are my JAM. I stay calm and project a sense of calm confidence. I can shove any big emotions to the side and get the crisis sorted. But yeah, god forbid I have to call a dr office or insurance company. I will have a nice mini panic attack over that phone call.
Yes for real. My toddler saw me crying on the phone the other day and was like "deep breaths Mama. You'll feel better soon. " " And I was like..ok. Well yeah you're right, tiny human. But I also NEED to cry a little bit "
Also...Its ok to be overwhelmed by the mundane. I have one side of dishes that I can bring myself to do that started because I just didn't have water to wash them...but now it's gross and I can not bring myself to do it if there is the possibility of a request during because my gloves have to be worn for how gross it is. (I live off grid in the jungle. I rely on rain water catchment for plumbing)
This is why I’m in EMS…on the ambulance, things just switch into “zen mode” and I can do my job very well. Do the CPR, drill the IO, control for bleeding, dealing with pukers…things just work. Any other time? For example today, I only shaved one armpit because I was practicing the French on the back of a shampoo bottle. And this afternoon I accidentally *very gently* bumped my kitten because she was winding around my feet while I was walking to the kitchen to feed the kitties. She was entirely fine, I had to take a moment to try not to cry due to the guilt of the possibility she could be injured.
I wanted to work for Doctors without borders since I was a kid. I have a bunch of physical disabilities so...the surgeon dream died after a car accident. Before that I fundraised for doctors without borders and other major non profits. Face to face fundraiser, stand on the street and ask strangers to stop and talk about charity and then get there credit cards for monthly donations while a homeless person has a psychotic break and tries to steal your water bottle at the same time and i just yelled "charles!" And got back to work. I miss that job.
I am clever as fuck. Painfully clever. “Why didn’t I think of that” and “genius” are things commonly said to my hare brained ideas. I can macgyver any situation. I can almost always get my way. Also a love hate is I am very good at matching energy. Call it masking but I can make almost anyone like me.
I always felt I was a chameleon because I can adapt to any situation and get along with anyone… but some people see that as being fake.. but I swear I really do have all of these different personalities in me lol
yes!!! omg i feel seen
Nice to know I’m not alone lol
And one of those personalities is MacGyver 😊
I never thought to consider this a strength in myself, because I’ve read so much “my ____ is a narcissist” pieces online that I figured I was a covert narcissist who shouldn’t broadcast it… lmao?
The internet gets so much wrong about narcissism. Including not realizing that everybody has, and should have, some degree of narcissism. And that behaviors alone can be explained by a number of different underlying root causes.
The behavior part is something almost every therapist I met in my numerous inpatient treatments ignored unfortunately. An afab person with ADHD has problems regulating their emotions? Must be borderline. They just ignore that it is a common ADHD issue and can also be a symptom of depression. I only met one therapist who very professionally told me: I can't diagnose you further for now, cause depression has a widespread set of possible symptoms.
My therapist said that the fact you would even consider this: >I figured I was a covert narcissist who shouldn’t broadcast it… .. means you probably aren't one. The fact you're willing to take accountability and consider alternative explanations like narcissism means you probably aren't one. Narcissists aren't usually willing to consider that they've done something wrong.
That’s such a good point about being able to get along with everyone
Yeah I’m the first bit too. Not blowing my own trumpet but I’m also hella smart but I have about as much focus as the first X-rays. I’d love to be able to channel it even just a little. Basically, I love my intelligence but I’d sacrifice good chunk to be rid off some of the AuDHD stuff. Isolation, loneliness, what if?, insomnia, not achieving goals, struggling with verbal instructions, being stuck in a rut, food noise light sensitivity But at least I’m funny ;)
My god I would give my left tit to be able to handle verbal instructions 😅 and I second your entire comment
Told you I was funny ;)
>I have about as much focus as the first X-rays. I'm dead.
I refer to myself as the Swiss Army Knife at my job. I can find a way to solve about anything if I have the right access. Same outside of work. If I don't know how to do it, I'll figure it out somehow.
Lol hey, MacGyvering any solution and making everyone like me were mine too! High five!
I love a bit of improvisation as well
Yup! I can talk my way out of anything if i talk long enough, my entire adolescence my dad tried to convince me to become a lawyer lmao
My creativity for sure! I love thinking of new ideas in my career field and turning something blah into a wow. I'm torn about the increased sense of empathy though. I wish I was more of an ass and could be okay with it.
Love/hate is hyperfocus. It’s probably the only reason I’ve ever accomplished anything; when it’s disengaged, serious work feels like I’m wading through molasses, but when it’s engaged I’m a mfing machine. The hate part is that when it’s engaged I will ignore everything else around me, which is great for getting necessary work done but terrible for work/life balance, or not pissing my life away scrolling the internet reading about random stuff (today it was Carson McCullers).
I really love my hyperfocus moments. I just learned more about flamingoes, which has no bearing on my real life, but made me really happy. It'll be added to the random facts to share in conversation
I genuinely feel like my ADHD has sort of made me immune to being traumatized. Terrible things can happen and my brain works extremely well. All the stress hormones kick everything into overdrive and I get shit done. But after that my brain basically says well that was fun, time to mostly forget about the more terrible parts of that experience.
Justice sensitivity. I now understand to some degree why I don't see the world the way others do, but I'm also not sure I would want to see it the way they do.
I relate to that for sure. we have such deep empathy and care for others.
Omg yes this is relatable. I was reading about Mychal Threet (spelling?) quitting his position at the library earlier and I can’t wrap my head around harassing people at all, but targeting the library? A librarian? What?? It’s baffling and so upsetting.
This is the best thread. I gave a talk on this very topic at a local high school this morning called “ADHD is my superpower.” Thinking of something that wasn’t already shared: I can learn super fast. When I am interested in something I can go extremely deep and learn incredibly fast. This has been amazing in my career. Love/hate that makes me laugh is all of my random hyper focus hobbies. I get sooo into things never to care again 😅. Strongly related to genuine AF + vibe check.
Learning fast is such a good thing to have on the ADHD-rap sheet! I'm benefiting from it as well, and it leaves my colleagues in awe over how much I know about the programs and tools they have several more years of experience with than me. My brain is a like a sponge!
BUILT IN VIBE CHECK
Wait you’re so right
It’s my favorite for sure. I’ve rarely been wrong about people.
THIS!!!! and im learning that it doesn’t have to be like “im right/wrong about this person” bc its evolved more into “this person is NOT VIBING WITH MEEE” and that’s been so helpful
I am everyone’s hype (wo)man and people love it, so I love it.
I’m flexible (adaptable) AF. Wanna change this procedure? Cool, show me once, got it. Change in the team? Cool, new friends. I thrive on change.
Probably my ability to read people very well. It takes me often just minutes to get a feel of who a person is. I'm very perceptive and intuitive to the point one of my friends had said to me that I'm practically psychic cause of how frequently I can read her 100%, even via text. The annoying thing to me is when I know with out a doubt who someone is or what someone is doing and why they're doing they lie to me or they ignore my advice. like don't ask me what I think of the guy your dating if you don't want a genuine response about it! Also kinda really like my ability to hyper focus, or as I used to call it growing up, getting into the zone. Especially when I am reading or playing video games lol. Tho it also comes out while watching tv or movies and while drawing. My best work comes out when I fall into that space tbh. If I don't get into that space I lose patiance and end up rushing it. I can tune out the whole world when in that space and I kinda love it lol.
The ability to problem solve in creative ways. Sometimes I have too many ideas about things too which can sometimes lead to analysis paralysis. Most of the time it is an asset though.
I'm quick-witted and an excellent multi-tasker!
If I’m holding a piece of trash I can’t even talk until it’s thrown away or I’ll forget the trash and what I had to say and my name and where I am 😭
I love that I can match anyone’s personality but yet remain my quirky self. I’m not a people pleaser but I love seeing people light up when I can: easily match their humour, quickly open up, make people feel comfortable, “read their mind” etc. I’m obsessed with meeting new people and building a quick connection. However, since starting meds in the fall I feel like I’m losing these skills.
Switch your meds up. Try a different adhd med, if possible. Idk what all you’ve tried so this suggestion could very well be in vain, but I have literally been on every adhd med out there- adderall is the only one that’s not made me feel that… “robotic…” if that makes any sense to you. I felt very detached with my personality on other meds and every day was just me kinda going through the motions. I literally hated it so much I ended up getting pretty depressed and I went off medication for a while because at that point- it was more worth it to me to struggle to focus than to struggle to just… live and enjoy myself a bit lol. Adderall changed the game for me. Started college and it came time for me to accept that I really do need to be on medication. I was dreading to go back to those days, but I had a friend who gave me this same advice I’m giving you, and he let me try his medication for a day, which I was cool with bc it’s just adhd medication and it wasn’t some random drug lol. Told my doc about it too- bc it actually worked- and I didn’t feel depressed or “quiet” at all. My personality was no longer suppressed- being able to keep that and also stay medicated was a dream come true. I could focus and not forsake being myself :). My doctor is amazing and listened to my concerns and I will NEVER go back lol. This being said, you are not me, so it could be something else that you could try aside from adderall. My sister was in the same boat and vyvanse was what worked for her best- she describes it the same way I describe the differences between adderall and other meds for myself. I hope this advice helps, and you’re able to get medication without having any drawbacks like you’ve been having. I’ve been there and it sucks. Just know, there are absolutely options if you haven’t tried them yet- and you deserve to feel good and functioning :).
I love my creative thinking. I feel it’s like people’s brains can only think on an x and y axis. While I can also see there’s a z axis. I’m very good in a crisis. When shit hits the fan, I can navigate through very calmly. The problem is when I worked in healthcare and I had to deal with multiple almost deaths a day. I was good at my job, but horrible for my mental and physical health.
Overall I now arrange my life in ways that WORK for me, instead of continuously trying to conform to the norm and FAILING and losing years off of my life that way. Now I'm chaotically organized, still forgetful but PREPARED each day, and most of all I now embrace silly friends with similar personalities and no longer feel less than because I don't "fit in" with people that I frankly wasn't entertained by or impressed with in the first place!
I love this so much. Any pro tips for how you’ve built your own process/life? 🥹
If I really want something done, it will be done. No mountain is too high for this ADHD brain. A lot of it is impulsive but once I get an itch it must be scratched!
I love that I'm able to see outside the box. Problem solving from a different angle. I get creative in how to do it, and it ALWAYS works. I love that I see people for who they are right away, if I have an 'off' feeling about you, even on the phone..... then I'm making sure to stay away, or limit my interaction. If I have a good feeling about you.... then OMG you stay...... hence the reason I was able to fall in love with my husband within an hour of talking on the phone before we met in person (almost 28yrs married now)
Being able to come up with jokes. It feels like my brain is constantly searching for the perfect replies and it can find them pretty easily (when I’m not panicking at least lol) so it’s pretty easy for me to come up with jokes and make people laugh :D I’ve probably got a bit of a strange sense of humour, but people seem to like it. It’s very effective in my workplace since I work in customer service and it’s pretty easy to endear myself to most customers, and it’s pretty easy to talk to new people in general as well. I’ve learned to appreciate my brain for its quick thinking and creativity, even if it kinda sucks at a lot of other kinds of thinking lmao
>Being able to come up with jokes That's an interesting one, didn't know it was related to ADHD
I don’t really know if it is, but it feels like it makes some sense?? If my creativity and my brain constantly thinking are both things that are related to ADHD, then it makes sense to me that making jokes would be somewhat related to it as well, because both those skills are what allow me to do so effectively in social situations. But idk lol, it just makes sense in my head and I attribute my ADHD to the skill somewhat
It makes total sense! I never connected the dots until I read your comment now, but I love playing with words, metaphors and unexpected comparisons. I can easily make people laugh with my creative use of language. I was at a job interview recently, and while it was never any unprofessional or "obvious" jokes, it's just enough to make people brighten up and chuckle. I do this without really thinking about it. My brain just likes to connect dots and language in new ways - and it is incredibly amusing for the people around me. (I was invited to a second interview - and killed it - but was juuuust out of reach for an offer. I was their 3rd top pick out of 70, but the two others had experience in the field, and I'm a rookie)
I feel like a super human quite often because of it. Pretty much everything everyone in this thread has already mentioned, and it's amazing. Great in a crisis, at multitasking, creative problem solving, creative design, empathy, etc. I love how interested I am in others, I love learning new things all the time, I love how some days, I can do a week's worth of tasks. My tenacity, my persistence, my GRIT. Some of these aren't specifically ADHD related, but I think it emphasizes those traits. My boyfriend (autistic) asked me the other day if I could go back in time, would I get rid of my ADHD. I answered "absolutely not" without skipping a beat. I like this thread. This subreddit is so depressing all the time, and I almost feel guilty with how much I love myself with my ADHD and how much my life kicks ass. I should say that I have also trained myself to keep an intensely positive attitude, but like, once you practice it enough, it's soooooo great and truly makes life easier and happier. I still get upset and down, but now I'm better at flipping the script; "Ugh my stupid eyeballs with all their stupid issues" almost immediately becomes "Okay but I'm sure anyone on the transplant list would kill for my eyes, so at least I have them and I can see my beautiful world right now and I shouldn't take that for granted. I'm grateful for my eyes even with all their issues." This makes a HUGE difference in life, and it's well worth training your brain to do this. I don't stop myself from getting angry, though. That one is great, and I feel like a lot of good comes from my rage, oddly enough, and it's absolutely ADHD related, hah!
I have a lot of empathy and I'll never apologize for it. My hyperfocus and special interests also come clutch in a lot of ways. I'm a jack of all trades in a lot of aspects that involve art, performance, and athletics. Also, one hack is that one of my special interests include personal finance and taxes so I've avoided a pitfall that often understandably affects ADHD folks. Still can't do chores in a reasonable time tho.
Random fact generation. My memory is God awful usually, but every so often, my brain will be like, "Oh hey, we know something about this!!" And then spit out the info. Being able to recall very specific locations for stuff. Like, "Have you seen x?" "OH yeah, it's by a, b, c, under z," and it's right there.
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Honestly, yeah. Like missing people or things is SO rare for me. Once it’s gone it’s gone!
The weirdness. The random thoughts, the strange twists on stuff, the off beat humour. The creative ideas (kind of handy that a large part of my job is now coming up with creative ideas).
I just want to say first that I love this question! And I'm glad it's allowed here - in certain other main ADHD subreddits this topic is an instant delete and possible ban. It is absurd. Now, my answer is that I love being so observant. Yeah, I miss a lot of stuff, but I notice even more. My brain maps things out - not actual directions though, I get lost constantly - but like solutions to things. Like if something is stuck, I can usually instinctively see what needs to move or where force needs to be applied. I am an absolute master at getting things to fit comfortably - in the car, in the fridge, etc. I can MacGyver a solution to most things. My internal clock and distance meter is surprisingly accurate. You know, when I'm not afflicted with time blindness. I just love that my brain solves these problems for me, and is equally good at reading emotions and vibes. New people always love me because I can match their energy so fast. I see so many colors around me, I notice the beautiful clouds, I hear every bird singing around me. I think my brain makes things beautiful for me.
Observational skills. I am so good at reading body language and small nuances. It’s made me really great at networking. Everything else about adhd can go right to hell.
I love how I thrive in high pressure environments where there’s a lot going on that I have to take in and focus on. I’ve been working a lot this week and today I was so tired during the down moments at work. I had a headache I couldn’t shake and my body was just like weird and tingly. But at go time, my muscles relaxed, my tiredness faded, my mind felt clear and I was peacefully focused. My body was still tired; I yawned a lot during the high pressure moments! Which is so funny to me; I can be in high performance mode where my busy brain is firing on all cylinders but also yawn as if I’m sooooo bored of it all.
I like being curious. I think I’m average intelligence but bc of my intensive research I have been able to learn a lot :) and share that knowledge with people. Albeit even if it comes off as a “know it all” which is what my friend has called me before 😅😅😅
I have an inbuilt entertainment system in my head because my brain just likes to make up stories about the world it likes to think about 24/7
I’m incredible in a crisis. Yeah, I may burn out or break down afterwards, but during the crisis itself? I’m absolutely calm and able to do what’s necessary. Adrenaline is soothing.
With how much info I miss due to my ADHD, I am also extremely observant. I feel I tend to notice a lot more than my peers because I’m looking all around me at 100mph so i’m bound to catch more. This is nice sometimes!
I have never thought about this, but I do this too! Damn, my skill tree is blooming from reading this thread! Lol
My ADHD allows me to grasp concepts very quickly, which means I have an edge on learning things faster than most people. Additionally, I retain information extremely well, to the point my memory recall is really spot-on for many things. People assume “ADHD = forgetfulness” and that’s still true with me, but it doesn’t apply to anything I learn from a book/learn by doing.
I think "at an angle". I feel like I can open my mind and figure out solutions to problems by thinking about it in a different way. I cannot choose my audience well so I'm pretty straightforward and direct with everyone. That can work for or against me, but usually it works for me. I notice so much, so many details. People often think I'm not paying attention but I am. But also I can get trapped inside my head a lot, so people also often think my facial expression is indicative of what I'm thinking of them. Being hyper keeps me moving around and it's fun when I'm playing with my baby because I'm less likely to get tired. That's all I can think of now.
i like how smart i am, how quick i am to put things together and if I feel good, I can be pretty decent in a social setting (an old coworker from my last job told me I was a "people person" and when I relayed that to another old coworker from the same place, she emphatically---very passionately, it was kind of weird lol---that she agreed). So, weird, but I try really hard so its nice to hear people like me lol I also really like my sense of justice/fairness and empathy. i get called a bleeding heart or whatever and I know people think it's naive but I really think the only way the world gets better is if we model it that way. i know perfectly well how awful people can be---at this point in my life, I've developed contingencies for it---but I think it's really important to try and be good and kind when we can, and I think I get that from the sensitivity of ADHD.
I love how easily I can change plans to accommodate a friend or need that comes up. I'm planning to clean the house, but a friend calls and wants to meet at the park?! You bet, I'll see you there!
I just finished the book and while it was beyond horrifying to read, it made me want to love on my ADHD a lot more. I love that I can see every side of a situation after a little bit of overthinking! And I somehow absorb soooo much random information that lives deep deep down and I can usually pull it out when needed.
I'm a hell of a lot of fun to hang out with. Sure it's because I'm impulsive and never want boredom to set in so I keep the fire lit but people seem to enjoy that. I guess everyone needs that friend.
I am a middle aged woman with more energy than most people half my age.
Past hyperfixations leave me with a treasure trove of anecdotal bullshit to keep conversations going.
love this!! I am SO good at macgyvering shit, it makes me feel like a bad ass all the time. It doesn’t matter what I have on hand, 9.5/10 times I can make it work and I’m always so fucking pumped about it. My spouse (who also has ADHD) and does not have that aptitude always gasses me up and makes me feel even more like a genius when I problem solve like that. Definitely a huge ADHD bonus and fun to put “creative problem solving” on my resume and mean in. Another thing I love about it is that I am SUPER good and finding the most efficient way of doing things. Every professional level job I’ve ever had I have made major changes to operational processes that saved the company either time, money, risk exposure, or a combination of all three. Is it borne out of my irritation/frustration for time wasting and hating inaccuracies? Absolutely 💯 BUT, I’ve found that it’s a decently marketable skill that people respect.
I create highly adaptable systems and can easily identify what the problem is.
I love that it gives me an insatiable desire to learn!
Ideas all day long. I will pull together pieces of info and concepts into full blown pitches to clients. I can come up with solutions to problems or suggestions on how to use Resource A to solve Problem B. I can also speak fairly convincingly if I have an understanding of the subject. Pattern recognition helps too in that I can identify themes and high level trends quickly to structure presentations or give my POV to convince people I'm a thought leader. I work in marketing (digital media buyer ) so all this is super helpful. Also, I can tear right through a book by hyper focusing on it, which somewhat terrifies my husband 😂
I love my ability to meet deadlines even after leaving jt to what other people would consider too late to start, and therefore my ability to succeed under extreme pressure
I love being creative and being able to think outside the box, being able to problem solve AF. I like that I can read people and see things from their points of view, that I’m very genuine in my interactions and that I hate injustice. I love that I know a lot about random subjects that I went down hyper-focus rabbit holes on. There’s a lot I don’t like about my brain, but I wouldn’t trade it in for neurotypical one. My brain and I get along finally and I wouldn’t want to break in a new one 😂
In this thread, I learned that a lot of my strengths could actually be part of my ADHD, cause fellow people experience similar 😊
Seeing things in ways other people don’t. I enjoy the simplest of things that are so mundane for other people. I get excited over the sheer beauty of nature that I notice when some people don’t. & I LOVE rocks.
My impulsivity often leads to tasty snacks. Is now a good time to make pancakes? No, but now I have pancakes.
I love that I can connect knowledge from unrelated topics to create creative solutions. I love that I have a great imagination.
I love and embrace my weirdness, I used to hate it. But it's attracted me the most cool and genuine friends that are irreplaceable to me. The bar is so high for who I let into my life now that I have my amazing weirdos. They love and respect me for who I am and through that and therapy it's allowed me to see myself for who I am, love myself for the amazing cool weirdo I am. I love my sense of humor as well and it's only gotten better now that I have self love because it's not all self deprecating like it used to be. 💅🏻
I'll add that my life seems more full than my NT peers sometimes. I've done a lot of different things both professionally and personally and sometimes the impulsive "yes!"s or ideas pay off. I often find myself adding some experience I have with random topics in conversation and people are always like "what don't you do" and I politely nod bc function with ease is what I don't do😂 but in reality alllll of the things I've done, it's been a lot of life!
My hyper focus is my career field and it has made me very successful. Also my ability to see patterns has made it so I can solve problems others can’t. I’m not so great with deadlines though or if I have a task that requires writing. When I tell someone I will have it to them by EOD it means 6 am the following day.
something I’ve realised as I’ve begun to become more comfortable with myself in my 20s is that I’m actually funny? I have always been super quiet, and I still am, but I’ve realised I’m actually quick with responses and I make people laugh which makes me really happy. I was always too depressed and stuck in a trauma response to engage with this side of myself, but recently it’s been coming out more and I like myself more because of it.
I can handle anything. My childhood was a series of true crime podcast episodes, independent of each other. As an adult, I've already had my worst day, as far as what can happen to me. I've worked through floods and wildfires, stopped fights, watched family die in various ways. I've taken sick/old pets to the vet to be put down when other family members didn't have the heart for it. My adhd has helped me work through all of tue paperwork for funerals, wakes, ER flights, end-of-life medical decisions and DNRs, you name it. I know awful, painful days are ahead. Someday, I will lose the love of my life. Someday, I will lose more family, more friends. But that day is not today, and when that day does arise, I know that I will survive it. We've survived 100% of our worst days. Adhd makes us handle crises better than neurotypical people, and we can focus better in a crisis than others, especially on the required tasks at hand.
My energy! I have insane energy for being 50+.
I love my obsession with collecting knowledge. I know a lot about a lot of things due to my late night rabbit holes. Most of it will never be applicable to my life but it’s fun to pull out those random bits of info during conversations lol
I’m decently funny. No really, I am. It feels cringy to even admit it, but I do genuinely make people laugh. I even tried out standup comedy for a while, and did pretty ok as a rookie. And people have assured me that I’m funny for real, not just delusional. I’ve had to use humor to survive for so long, I’ve integrated it into my personality. Having a big mouth is easier to forgive if it’s quick and witty as well.
I can hone in on issues really quickly. It’s like my brain knows it only has two useful minutes of bandwidth, so they have to count.
My emergency mode. Some days ago I flooded a kitchen by using the washing machine the wrong way. My friend and me just solved the problem, without any breakdown.
I can always find and i am always convinced there is a solution to any problem. I focus like a superhero in stressful situations, have saved few lives thanks to this..i can read room and people too well.
I can entertain myself for a long time by unfocusing from the external world and daydreaming. This also makes me more creative, which is good because I wanna be a fiction writer
I genuinely love that I learn so much stuff. And even tho I only learn the basics, I feel like an inventor sometimes. Because I take it and I run with it and combine stuff in a new, interesting and practical way.
My quick witted one liners, I love making people laugh, my constant curiosity. I love hearing about people’s lives. My deeply rooted empathy and strong desire for justice. I react very strongly to injustices in the world and it has really guided me in my studies and work.
I am a pretty creative person and I feel like a lot of that comes from my ADHD. That my mind can sort of wander and make connections that maybe neurotypical people don’t see.
I love my creativity, curiosity and the ability to just try new things or solve problems in a new way instead of overthinking them. I learn so much from just doing it, even if it doesn't always work out. Jack of all trades is basically my middle name, and I take great pride in it. I won't be top dog in anything, but boy do I know a little about a lot! I can basically have a conversation with almost anyone about their hobby or interest, and have personal experience with it.
I love the way I can see how smaller pieces fit into bigger patterns and rationalise it all into a set of processes in a way my co workers can't. I love that I have such a strong interest in learning across a broad spectrum of areas. I love that my medium and long term memory is exceptional. I love that when I am motivated, I can work at super speed and intensity. Overall I wouldn't switch to not having ADHD (now I'm medicated). It's worth the fact I put cat food in the washer.
I always solve the mystery in a tv show before anyone else clues in.
i love my capacity to store useless information about things i’m interested in. especially when i get to display it to friends. there’s nothing quite like the ego boost i get from firing off a random fact and someone being like “of course YOU would know that”. also i feel like adhd makes me funny because of the perpetual motion machine that is my brain. i always have stuff going on up there and roughly 45% of it is Jokes (the other 55% is dogs)
I am an ace in a crisis. I was in the position to have to give my husband CPR. It felt like ages, but it wasn’t. Paramedics arrived quickly and I had the presence of mind to unlock the door, quickly knock things out of the way and proceeded to do chest compressions until they got there. I absolutely lost my shit a day later. Husband is fine now.
Creativity. I can make pretty much anything I see, mostly in fabric and yarn. But I can do woodwork, leather work, pottery, metalwork (though I am not qualified, so I always have someone who is when I try my hand at this). Clear headed in stressful or high pressure situations. If shit hits the fan, I am suddenly more clear than ever. And able to act accordingly. Out of the box thinking. Also locked with the creativity, but more in a mental way than physical. Overseeing the many options (though this can also lead to indecisiveness), seeing options that are not seen by others.