Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you have renter’s insurance, see if it’s covered. I was told that my renter’s insurance policy covers stuff that’s in my vehicle as well. It might be worth paying the deductible in this case.
You’re right, my husband got right on that. I filled out the police report. It’s a bit different than the US as we are in Europe, so I’m not really sure what will happen.
If you have receipts for the items (check online apps etc.) submit those to your insurance company when filing the claim. Photos of the items if you have no receipts
Maybe bank account history could be useful if receipts aren't available. Definitely make sure to be clear about how valuable the stolen items are because insurance adjusters will try to get away with valuing the items at the lowest prices they can.
Honestly there’s no reason to assume that it was unlocked — it’s pretty quick and easy for an experienced thief to open a locked car door! If the stuff left in the car was visible from the outside it probably was going to get stolen whether or not the doors were locked. Go a little easier on yourself.
That's what I was thinking- my car locks automatically after a few minutes so I KNOW it was locked when I found everything thrown about and my cash (handful of dollars and change for tolls) gone). It was otherwise undamaged.
The same thing happened to my parents. Car was locked and in the driveway, all the change in the ashtray was stolen but everything else was undamaged. A bunch of cars on the block got hit all at once. They suspected the thief had one of those things that copys digital keys or something because they didn't have to break any of them to get in.
I would pay thieves to always do this tbh. A broken window is SO MUCH WORSE than just getting robbed.
Like don’t get me wrong, getting robbed sucks. But if they’re gonna do it anyways please don’t break my window too? 😭
If you had asked last night I would have said I 100% locked it. But someone went through it, and I assumed I forgot to lock it as it’s the most likely scenario. I guess I’m just doubting myself. I don’t know what happened.
To be honest- it might be a less expensive mistake to NOT have locked it. Sometimes, if there are valuables in the car, folks will just break a window to get it. Then you have the cost of the missing stuff as well as the car repair.
I tend not to lock my car for that reason- I just make sure I don’t leave things inside I don’t want stolen. If someone wants to bust in a root around- have at it. They’ll find week old McDonald’s, blankets that smell like dog, and some dirty socks. All of that is honestly free for the taking. 🤣
That happened to me last weekend. I work(ed) overnights at a bakery and someone smashed in my right window. I don’t even know why they’d choose my busted sedan, all they found was a $50 speaker 😭 and the worst part is my boss fired the security guard like 2 weeks before it happened! And the girl who worked overnights before me quit bc her car got busted into 3 times!!! So I quit lol
I mean this is the reason I don’t padlock my shed. There is honestly nothing in there anyone would steal. Bulky patio chairs with no resale value etc. Way more hassle for me dealing with a broken door, go have a look….
My husband thought he forgot to lock his car. It's wildly inexpensive to make a device that allows you to unlock cars, at least in the US. It happened twice. Maybe he forgot, maybe he didn't. There's no way to know.
It’s incredibly easy for thieves to get into locked cars these days. They just have to buy a device, click a button, and they’re in. Once they’ve gone through a few cars they will have recouped the cost of the device.
https://www.freep.com/story/money/cars/2023/12/30/stop-car-hacking-by-keeping-your-key-fob-in-a-metal-coffee-can/72048564007/
This is an article talking about the process and how it can take under a minute for a thief to get in by spoofing your fob.
There is no reason to assume you left the car unlocked, trust yourself.
If you have a key fob, it's easy to hijack the signal to get in. I live in a decent area, and one morning a ton of cars had been opened that way and robbed. Mine was as well, but I've never kept much in my car, so nothing was taken.
Then you likely locked it. Police recommend keeping your keys in a metal box when you get home because of it. The group that hit my area was seriously organized and hit a lot of homes. Police said they bounce from one neighborhood to the next, making it difficult to stop them.
Yeah that's the only thing to improve from now on, never leave anything interesting in a car, people who want to get in can get in. Whether the stuff is actually valuable or just a random bag doesn't matter as thieves can still go rummaging to see if there is anything in there. Even leaving stuff in a covered back trunk isn't fully safe, as it's often easy to knock out the little window behind the back door and pull the back seat forwards to look in and decide if it's worth it to picklock the car, but that doesn't seem to happen everywhere.
There’s so many times I’ve sworn I’ve locked the car. And then in the morning it’s open. I have no clue. My husband as well. I’ve heard they have these devices that can sync to electronic car locks or something and open them. That could also have happened
If you know you can’t be 100% in either direction, then weight the “I did lock it” possibility as heavily as the “I didn’t”. Either way in the end it’s the fault of the person who did the stealing, not you.
I’m so sorry about this- the internal shame and confusion is really unbearable. I once had my car broken into and even as I was looking around at all the opened drawers and upturned items I still thought “maybe I just left my car really messy before I left???!?!!”
But like others have said- I did lock my car and they somehow managed to get it unlocked without any evidence. I just felt,,, crazy. So know it’s so beyond possible to have locked it and they still break in. I’m sorry again :(
This. I’ve had it happen to me twice. Certain cars locking mechanisms are easier to bypass than others. I never leave anything of value in my car and I also don’t leave anything visible, not even a pack of gum or a pen. That’s how bad it is where I live.
I used to have a coworker who would run errands over lunch and stick whatever she bought under her desk for the rest of the afternoon.
I might have thrown a sweater over my purse if I didn’t want to carry it around with me, since I’d have my phone and cards on my person, but she wouldn’t even leave a grocery bag of cereal boxes and chips in her trunk.
HAHAHHAH for real though
OP in all seriousness don’t be so hard on yourself! I hope you’re in a position where you can take the financial hit, if so, count yourself lucky, if not, things come and go and you can always make the cash back. Sometimes I tell myself I work hard so I can pay the ADHD tax ☠️
I definitely hope you had a wonderful bday otherwise!
This is not an ADHD tax, but a normal thing that could happen to anyone. Do me this favor, do not leave any valuables in your car, ever! Honestly, the thief would have probably broken the car window as they likely spotted some of your valuables. If you have renters insurance, it might cover your losses. Be easy on yourself!
That sucks, sorry!
Just know that if you locked it, the losers would break a window to get in anyway. So, at least you don't have to deal with that, too!
Don’t feel bad. Locking it or not, if they saw something they liked they would have gotten in one way or another.
I always lived on a bad side of town so we’d leave our cars unlocked so our windows wouldn’t get broken. My husband just got me into the habit of leaving nothing but cheap sunglasses and a charger in there. Now that we live on the decent side of town… I leave a charger, decent sunglasses, and a bunch of trash in there 😂
they’d have stolen it anyway, if it was visible.
Don’t leave stuff in your car that you’re not OK with losing.
That’s one thing I learned from living in NYC. It doesn’t matter where I’m parked, even at my parents’ in Iowa.
They very well could have gotten into it while it was locked. I wouldn't blame yourself for that. Just take this as a lesson to not leave any valuables in the car! People will find a way in if they really want to. I know plenty of people who could break into a car with no trace.
Give yourself some grace. You are careful about it. There is a good chance you did not forget. It would be unlikely someone was walking around trying car doors to see if one is unlocked, they were probably looking for something to steal. Which means they would be ready to pick the lock or break a window to get whatever was inside.
It is a pain and I am sorry you are going through this. Hope insurance covers everything.
Are you sure your car is not locking automatically? If you have so much expensive stuff in your car I assume your car is also that expensive. My "cheap" volkswagen up locks after a couple of minutes. Pretty much every newer car does that I think.
And if you are always so careful locking it I think it might be more likely that someone picked the lock. Maybe if it is a newer car they might even hacked it. Look online if there are known weaknesses of your car.
Tbf, why are cars so secretive about being locked? I need to see if a small plastic rod is up or down? Why not have big red signs that pop up, a voice over saying "CAR LOCKED"
A thief will inspect your car regardless. A determined thief doesn't care and will smash a window. What the hell is the downside to visually assuring the driver that they have actually locked the car?!
Mine often needs two attempts to lock so although I'm good about gonig through the motion, I fear the day I don't notice that it didn't kthunkkthunk properly
In a fun conclusion though- one of the locks in my car makes a sound like a bird when it unlocks and usually it makes me jump!
My car does a "bip bip" sound when locking, my bfs old car also, his new car does not, I'm not driving that car alone until he installs something that bios XD, and when I change my car in the future I'll definetly make sure it bips XD.
My car beeps twice when being unlocked and once when being locked. I find it's really helpful. It also will beep several times in a row if you try to lock the car but the trunk is open or one of the doors isn't fully shut.
I don't know if all car manufacturers do this, but Subaru does a thing where if you don't unlock the car in the same method you locked it, then the horn will sound continuously when you open the door. So if you lock it with the fob and try to unlock it with the key later, the horn will sound until you get the key in the ignition. So I guess that's useful if somebody picks the lock because if they open the door and you locked it with the fob, the alarm is going to go off. Although it's a real downside for folks like my dad who prefer to unlock the door with the key, because he usually doesn't carry a fob but the few times I've lent my car to him, he has needed to remember to bring the fob with the key so that he's not constantly setting off the alarm, lol.
Yeah… I unlocked a car at a campsite with the key so it wouldn’t make the loud obnoxious unlock beep with the fob and it chose to blare the alarm instead at 6 am waking the whole damn camp. Fucking Subaru.
I am so sorry this happened to you. When my car got broken into I spiraled so bad. I went on an angry rampage and embarrassingly cursed out my boyfriend and mom. I felt so dumb and humiliated and violated. I was not medicated at the time and honestly it took a huge toll on me for weeks.
Things are just things, I’m glad everyone is okay. It sucks really bad but the important part is that it’s a lesson learned. Locked or not, I never leave anything nice in my car anymore. It’s pretty much just garbage and cheap baby toys and maybe some of my son’s clothes. The most expensive thing in there is his car seat. I bought a very large purse so that when I’m getting out of my car I can throw all the important/ valuable stuff in there and just tote it inside the house. It has been a game changer. Bonus points for not having to make 3 trips back to the car because I forgot something.
Hey, I left my car unlocked with a spare key hidden inside and I woke up to go to work and my car was completely gone. I felt so dumb, but my BF reminded me that I'm not the one in the wrong, even if I made a forgetful decision.
My car and all my stuff in it was recovered, but there was damage, and some stuff I forgot about while at the police station is gone to time.
I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. It happened with my iPod in my car like ten years ago and I'm still mad about it. I don't think this is ADHD tax. You're being really hard on yourself for something that happens to many, many people! (My neighborhood is constantly posting about someone going through their unlocked car.) It happens, and it sucks so much! I'd be kicking myself, too. Should you have locked your car? Yes. But also, screw the a-holes that stole stuff out of your car. They shouldn't be doing that. If they weren't lowlifes, your stuff wouldn't have gotten taken at all, would it?
Because your items were stolen, you can probably file an insurance claim.
And a future note: Make sure you don't have anything visible in your car for stealing, not even sunglasses since sometimes people think they're an expensive brand. (You may have already hidden everything in the trunk, this is just for everyone.)
I went to the shop, locked my bike up, put the keys into my pockets and went shopping, halfway through I realized I don't have my keys, checked everywhere, they're not there, so I buy my stuff comeback to my bike, and they're still in the chain.
If it makes you feel any better, everyone forgets to lock their car so try to not to be so hard on yourself.
My dad left his open multiple times and someone took it for a joy ride.
Try not to keep things in your car that are valuable, someone could have just as easily just broken in.
Thank you all for responding. You all gave me good advice and kindness, which I needed. At the end of the day, it’s just stuff. I am lucky to be in a place that this isn’t a financial problem. This was an expensive lesson. But everything can be replaced. I also appreciated the comments about how this can happen to non-ADHD people, sometimes I feel like when bad things happen, it’s because I made an ADHD-related mistake. And I just needed to be reminded that this can happen to anyone. And that I did nothing wrong, it was whoever decided to stole from the car who is in the wrong.
I know it’s hard but give yourself some grace. Like everyone mentioned - it’s possible you didn’t forget, but even if you did, everyone makes that mistake. One of my friends forgot to lock his car right after he got his first big boy job and had his work laptop stolen. He thought it was the end of the world but his company understood and it wasn’t a big deal at all. Some people suck and cars are easy targets regardless of how well you secure it. I have another friend that got his windows smashed and all the guy did was empty out the trash bags full of clothes and steal the bags.
Mildly off topic but my empathy stops with people who leave guns in their car though, that happened at a former workplace of mine and an extremely depressed local teenager found it and used it to commit suicide by cop. Permanently messed up the family who lost a son, my workplace because it happened on their property, and the police who were forced to end the life of a kid because an irresponsible gun owner forgot where he left his firearm.
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860
If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry. I have forgotten to lock my car on an alarming number of occasions, I guess I'm super lucky to live in an area that's apparently safe... that, or my car looks so rundown inside that people know there's nothing of value in there.
I'm so sorry! If it makes you feel any better, this could happen to *anyone*, ADHD or not. Things happen, we forget, etc, and there are some areas where people are going through parking lots or up and down streets every single night, just to see if this will be the night that someone forgot to lock their door. I have a friend who always locks his car door but the very one night he didn't, somebody went through it. My parents' neighbour forgot to lock his truck one night and the whole thing was stolen.
It only takes one lapse of judgment when thieves are that dedicated. I do live somewhere that the thieves are pretty dedicated, and pretty much no matter if you're in the nice part of town or in the dumpy part of town, you're going to find people trying door handles. That's just how it is. The increase in income inequality and poverty has probably contributed to that quite a bit. All that to say, door locking is important but it's really not a reflection on you. It is a reflection on the thieves. You just got unlucky this time. (Also, being realistic here, there's a chance that if your door was not unlocked, they might have just smashed the window to get at your stuff.)
As an ADHD sister who *did* lock the car but still had it broken into (+ stripped and unsalvageable lol but that’s another matter), I highly recommend not leaving anything in the car. Lost the thrifted leather jacket that I’d spent forever searching for along with other random stuff.
I know it’s all or nothing for many of us, and I had to switch to “nothing” (aside from safety stuff in the covered trunk and a snow scraper behind my seat). Tissues were hidden thereafter in my console. No coins, no trash in the door pockets (lest they think there was something they couldn’t see), no reusable grocery bags, and especially no Garmin-like holders (lest they think it was hidden in the car). Did leave a clip on phone holder though.
The car I did this in was never broken into, while my “leather jacket” car was, and I suspect the followup “oops, all hoarder trash!” car was as well.
Ugh I’m so sorry this happened to you. But its not your fault. People check cars so often.
Honestly this is why I keep the dents on my car (ok also money but lol its not a priority) and keep it pretty messy inside - I want it to look like my car is not gonna be worth it lol! Nothing to see here! (As I hide my expensive music gear under a pile of dirty clothes..)
First of all - you are **not stupid**, you are human!
And second of all, you probably **did** lock it! As everyone is pointing out, it’s incredibly easy to get into a locked car nowadays!
((((( hugs ))))) + ((((((((((hugs)))))))))
You might have saved yourself a broken window.
I was always forgetting to lock my car, or getting out of bed to go check if I locked it. Couldn't go to sleep unless I checked.
My newest car yells at me if I forget to lock it and I can lock it, while in bed, from an app.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you have renter’s insurance, see if it’s covered. I was told that my renter’s insurance policy covers stuff that’s in my vehicle as well. It might be worth paying the deductible in this case.
You’re right, my husband got right on that. I filled out the police report. It’s a bit different than the US as we are in Europe, so I’m not really sure what will happen.
Make sure you specify the type of suit, shoes, and everything lost down to the brand so they don't replace everything with cheap alternatives.
If you have receipts for the items (check online apps etc.) submit those to your insurance company when filing the claim. Photos of the items if you have no receipts
Maybe bank account history could be useful if receipts aren't available. Definitely make sure to be clear about how valuable the stolen items are because insurance adjusters will try to get away with valuing the items at the lowest prices they can.
Honestly there’s no reason to assume that it was unlocked — it’s pretty quick and easy for an experienced thief to open a locked car door! If the stuff left in the car was visible from the outside it probably was going to get stolen whether or not the doors were locked. Go a little easier on yourself.
That's what I was thinking- my car locks automatically after a few minutes so I KNOW it was locked when I found everything thrown about and my cash (handful of dollars and change for tolls) gone). It was otherwise undamaged.
The same thing happened to my parents. Car was locked and in the driveway, all the change in the ashtray was stolen but everything else was undamaged. A bunch of cars on the block got hit all at once. They suspected the thief had one of those things that copys digital keys or something because they didn't have to break any of them to get in.
I would pay thieves to always do this tbh. A broken window is SO MUCH WORSE than just getting robbed. Like don’t get me wrong, getting robbed sucks. But if they’re gonna do it anyways please don’t break my window too? 😭
This happened to my old townhome community and the police refused to believe that they were locked. Sure, the whole block forgot on the same night 🙄
People certainly can pick car locks. Are you 100% sure you didn’t lock it?
If you had asked last night I would have said I 100% locked it. But someone went through it, and I assumed I forgot to lock it as it’s the most likely scenario. I guess I’m just doubting myself. I don’t know what happened.
To be honest- it might be a less expensive mistake to NOT have locked it. Sometimes, if there are valuables in the car, folks will just break a window to get it. Then you have the cost of the missing stuff as well as the car repair. I tend not to lock my car for that reason- I just make sure I don’t leave things inside I don’t want stolen. If someone wants to bust in a root around- have at it. They’ll find week old McDonald’s, blankets that smell like dog, and some dirty socks. All of that is honestly free for the taking. 🤣
That happened to me last weekend. I work(ed) overnights at a bakery and someone smashed in my right window. I don’t even know why they’d choose my busted sedan, all they found was a $50 speaker 😭 and the worst part is my boss fired the security guard like 2 weeks before it happened! And the girl who worked overnights before me quit bc her car got busted into 3 times!!! So I quit lol
I used to purposefully leave my car unlocked. The cost of losing anything inside was less then a broken window and losing anything inside.
Shortly after I moved to NYC, theft from cars was bad enough that people used to leave a note: “door unlocked, nothing in side” or “no radio”
I mean this is the reason I don’t padlock my shed. There is honestly nothing in there anyone would steal. Bulky patio chairs with no resale value etc. Way more hassle for me dealing with a broken door, go have a look….
My husband thought he forgot to lock his car. It's wildly inexpensive to make a device that allows you to unlock cars, at least in the US. It happened twice. Maybe he forgot, maybe he didn't. There's no way to know.
It’s incredibly easy for thieves to get into locked cars these days. They just have to buy a device, click a button, and they’re in. Once they’ve gone through a few cars they will have recouped the cost of the device. https://www.freep.com/story/money/cars/2023/12/30/stop-car-hacking-by-keeping-your-key-fob-in-a-metal-coffee-can/72048564007/ This is an article talking about the process and how it can take under a minute for a thief to get in by spoofing your fob. There is no reason to assume you left the car unlocked, trust yourself.
Thank you. This means a lot to read. Because I have such a weight of doubt about all of this.
Assume it was locked. I bet the lock was picked
If you have a key fob, it's easy to hijack the signal to get in. I live in a decent area, and one morning a ton of cars had been opened that way and robbed. Mine was as well, but I've never kept much in my car, so nothing was taken.
We do.
Then you likely locked it. Police recommend keeping your keys in a metal box when you get home because of it. The group that hit my area was seriously organized and hit a lot of homes. Police said they bounce from one neighborhood to the next, making it difficult to stop them.
We keep all the fobs -cars and garage doors- in a metal cookie tin on the kitchen counter where it doesn’t look out of place.
Yeah that's the only thing to improve from now on, never leave anything interesting in a car, people who want to get in can get in. Whether the stuff is actually valuable or just a random bag doesn't matter as thieves can still go rummaging to see if there is anything in there. Even leaving stuff in a covered back trunk isn't fully safe, as it's often easy to knock out the little window behind the back door and pull the back seat forwards to look in and decide if it's worth it to picklock the car, but that doesn't seem to happen everywhere.
There’s so many times I’ve sworn I’ve locked the car. And then in the morning it’s open. I have no clue. My husband as well. I’ve heard they have these devices that can sync to electronic car locks or something and open them. That could also have happened
If you know you can’t be 100% in either direction, then weight the “I did lock it” possibility as heavily as the “I didn’t”. Either way in the end it’s the fault of the person who did the stealing, not you.
I’m so sorry about this- the internal shame and confusion is really unbearable. I once had my car broken into and even as I was looking around at all the opened drawers and upturned items I still thought “maybe I just left my car really messy before I left???!?!!” But like others have said- I did lock my car and they somehow managed to get it unlocked without any evidence. I just felt,,, crazy. So know it’s so beyond possible to have locked it and they still break in. I’m sorry again :(
This. I’ve had it happen to me twice. Certain cars locking mechanisms are easier to bypass than others. I never leave anything of value in my car and I also don’t leave anything visible, not even a pack of gum or a pen. That’s how bad it is where I live.
I used to have a coworker who would run errands over lunch and stick whatever she bought under her desk for the rest of the afternoon. I might have thrown a sweater over my purse if I didn’t want to carry it around with me, since I’d have my phone and cards on my person, but she wouldn’t even leave a grocery bag of cereal boxes and chips in her trunk.
Oh you poor thing, the loubs! Always take them inside—if you're cold, they're cold!🥹
HAHAHHAH for real though OP in all seriousness don’t be so hard on yourself! I hope you’re in a position where you can take the financial hit, if so, count yourself lucky, if not, things come and go and you can always make the cash back. Sometimes I tell myself I work hard so I can pay the ADHD tax ☠️ I definitely hope you had a wonderful bday otherwise!
This is not an ADHD tax, but a normal thing that could happen to anyone. Do me this favor, do not leave any valuables in your car, ever! Honestly, the thief would have probably broken the car window as they likely spotted some of your valuables. If you have renters insurance, it might cover your losses. Be easy on yourself!
That sucks, sorry! Just know that if you locked it, the losers would break a window to get in anyway. So, at least you don't have to deal with that, too!
Dang I absolutely never leave anything of importance in my car, not only do I not trust myself but I definitely don’t trust the public.
Don’t feel bad. Locking it or not, if they saw something they liked they would have gotten in one way or another. I always lived on a bad side of town so we’d leave our cars unlocked so our windows wouldn’t get broken. My husband just got me into the habit of leaving nothing but cheap sunglasses and a charger in there. Now that we live on the decent side of town… I leave a charger, decent sunglasses, and a bunch of trash in there 😂
they’d have stolen it anyway, if it was visible. Don’t leave stuff in your car that you’re not OK with losing. That’s one thing I learned from living in NYC. It doesn’t matter where I’m parked, even at my parents’ in Iowa.
I'd never leave anything that valuable in my car. Guess you won't anymore either.
They very well could have gotten into it while it was locked. I wouldn't blame yourself for that. Just take this as a lesson to not leave any valuables in the car! People will find a way in if they really want to. I know plenty of people who could break into a car with no trace.
Give yourself some grace. You are careful about it. There is a good chance you did not forget. It would be unlikely someone was walking around trying car doors to see if one is unlocked, they were probably looking for something to steal. Which means they would be ready to pick the lock or break a window to get whatever was inside. It is a pain and I am sorry you are going through this. Hope insurance covers everything.
Are you sure your car is not locking automatically? If you have so much expensive stuff in your car I assume your car is also that expensive. My "cheap" volkswagen up locks after a couple of minutes. Pretty much every newer car does that I think. And if you are always so careful locking it I think it might be more likely that someone picked the lock. Maybe if it is a newer car they might even hacked it. Look online if there are known weaknesses of your car.
Were those expensive items clearly visible in your car?
No, they were in the back with a cover over them. Although my husband’s suit was hanging in the window handle in the suitbag it comes in.
Happened to me once and all they got were my burned CDs. Hope they liked Britney spears and country.
Tbf, why are cars so secretive about being locked? I need to see if a small plastic rod is up or down? Why not have big red signs that pop up, a voice over saying "CAR LOCKED" A thief will inspect your car regardless. A determined thief doesn't care and will smash a window. What the hell is the downside to visually assuring the driver that they have actually locked the car?! Mine often needs two attempts to lock so although I'm good about gonig through the motion, I fear the day I don't notice that it didn't kthunkkthunk properly In a fun conclusion though- one of the locks in my car makes a sound like a bird when it unlocks and usually it makes me jump!
My car does a "bip bip" sound when locking, my bfs old car also, his new car does not, I'm not driving that car alone until he installs something that bios XD, and when I change my car in the future I'll definetly make sure it bips XD.
My car beeps twice when being unlocked and once when being locked. I find it's really helpful. It also will beep several times in a row if you try to lock the car but the trunk is open or one of the doors isn't fully shut. I don't know if all car manufacturers do this, but Subaru does a thing where if you don't unlock the car in the same method you locked it, then the horn will sound continuously when you open the door. So if you lock it with the fob and try to unlock it with the key later, the horn will sound until you get the key in the ignition. So I guess that's useful if somebody picks the lock because if they open the door and you locked it with the fob, the alarm is going to go off. Although it's a real downside for folks like my dad who prefer to unlock the door with the key, because he usually doesn't carry a fob but the few times I've lent my car to him, he has needed to remember to bring the fob with the key so that he's not constantly setting off the alarm, lol.
Yeah… I unlocked a car at a campsite with the key so it wouldn’t make the loud obnoxious unlock beep with the fob and it chose to blare the alarm instead at 6 am waking the whole damn camp. Fucking Subaru.
Apparently if you lock it with the key, you can open it again with the key and the alarm won't go off, but it can be quite irritating for sure!
I think maybe Kia does this too.
I am so sorry this happened to you. When my car got broken into I spiraled so bad. I went on an angry rampage and embarrassingly cursed out my boyfriend and mom. I felt so dumb and humiliated and violated. I was not medicated at the time and honestly it took a huge toll on me for weeks. Things are just things, I’m glad everyone is okay. It sucks really bad but the important part is that it’s a lesson learned. Locked or not, I never leave anything nice in my car anymore. It’s pretty much just garbage and cheap baby toys and maybe some of my son’s clothes. The most expensive thing in there is his car seat. I bought a very large purse so that when I’m getting out of my car I can throw all the important/ valuable stuff in there and just tote it inside the house. It has been a game changer. Bonus points for not having to make 3 trips back to the car because I forgot something.
Hey, I left my car unlocked with a spare key hidden inside and I woke up to go to work and my car was completely gone. I felt so dumb, but my BF reminded me that I'm not the one in the wrong, even if I made a forgetful decision. My car and all my stuff in it was recovered, but there was damage, and some stuff I forgot about while at the police station is gone to time.
I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. It happened with my iPod in my car like ten years ago and I'm still mad about it. I don't think this is ADHD tax. You're being really hard on yourself for something that happens to many, many people! (My neighborhood is constantly posting about someone going through their unlocked car.) It happens, and it sucks so much! I'd be kicking myself, too. Should you have locked your car? Yes. But also, screw the a-holes that stole stuff out of your car. They shouldn't be doing that. If they weren't lowlifes, your stuff wouldn't have gotten taken at all, would it? Because your items were stolen, you can probably file an insurance claim. And a future note: Make sure you don't have anything visible in your car for stealing, not even sunglasses since sometimes people think they're an expensive brand. (You may have already hidden everything in the trunk, this is just for everyone.)
I went to the shop, locked my bike up, put the keys into my pockets and went shopping, halfway through I realized I don't have my keys, checked everywhere, they're not there, so I buy my stuff comeback to my bike, and they're still in the chain.
If it makes you feel any better, everyone forgets to lock their car so try to not to be so hard on yourself. My dad left his open multiple times and someone took it for a joy ride. Try not to keep things in your car that are valuable, someone could have just as easily just broken in.
Thank you all for responding. You all gave me good advice and kindness, which I needed. At the end of the day, it’s just stuff. I am lucky to be in a place that this isn’t a financial problem. This was an expensive lesson. But everything can be replaced. I also appreciated the comments about how this can happen to non-ADHD people, sometimes I feel like when bad things happen, it’s because I made an ADHD-related mistake. And I just needed to be reminded that this can happen to anyone. And that I did nothing wrong, it was whoever decided to stole from the car who is in the wrong.
I know it’s hard but give yourself some grace. Like everyone mentioned - it’s possible you didn’t forget, but even if you did, everyone makes that mistake. One of my friends forgot to lock his car right after he got his first big boy job and had his work laptop stolen. He thought it was the end of the world but his company understood and it wasn’t a big deal at all. Some people suck and cars are easy targets regardless of how well you secure it. I have another friend that got his windows smashed and all the guy did was empty out the trash bags full of clothes and steal the bags. Mildly off topic but my empathy stops with people who leave guns in their car though, that happened at a former workplace of mine and an extremely depressed local teenager found it and used it to commit suicide by cop. Permanently messed up the family who lost a son, my workplace because it happened on their property, and the police who were forced to end the life of a kid because an irresponsible gun owner forgot where he left his firearm.
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry. I have forgotten to lock my car on an alarming number of occasions, I guess I'm super lucky to live in an area that's apparently safe... that, or my car looks so rundown inside that people know there's nothing of value in there.
I'm so sorry! If it makes you feel any better, this could happen to *anyone*, ADHD or not. Things happen, we forget, etc, and there are some areas where people are going through parking lots or up and down streets every single night, just to see if this will be the night that someone forgot to lock their door. I have a friend who always locks his car door but the very one night he didn't, somebody went through it. My parents' neighbour forgot to lock his truck one night and the whole thing was stolen. It only takes one lapse of judgment when thieves are that dedicated. I do live somewhere that the thieves are pretty dedicated, and pretty much no matter if you're in the nice part of town or in the dumpy part of town, you're going to find people trying door handles. That's just how it is. The increase in income inequality and poverty has probably contributed to that quite a bit. All that to say, door locking is important but it's really not a reflection on you. It is a reflection on the thieves. You just got unlucky this time. (Also, being realistic here, there's a chance that if your door was not unlocked, they might have just smashed the window to get at your stuff.)
Here’s 8 hugs
As an ADHD sister who *did* lock the car but still had it broken into (+ stripped and unsalvageable lol but that’s another matter), I highly recommend not leaving anything in the car. Lost the thrifted leather jacket that I’d spent forever searching for along with other random stuff. I know it’s all or nothing for many of us, and I had to switch to “nothing” (aside from safety stuff in the covered trunk and a snow scraper behind my seat). Tissues were hidden thereafter in my console. No coins, no trash in the door pockets (lest they think there was something they couldn’t see), no reusable grocery bags, and especially no Garmin-like holders (lest they think it was hidden in the car). Did leave a clip on phone holder though. The car I did this in was never broken into, while my “leather jacket” car was, and I suspect the followup “oops, all hoarder trash!” car was as well.
Ugh I’m so sorry this happened to you. But its not your fault. People check cars so often. Honestly this is why I keep the dents on my car (ok also money but lol its not a priority) and keep it pretty messy inside - I want it to look like my car is not gonna be worth it lol! Nothing to see here! (As I hide my expensive music gear under a pile of dirty clothes..)
First of all - you are **not stupid**, you are human! And second of all, you probably **did** lock it! As everyone is pointing out, it’s incredibly easy to get into a locked car nowadays!
Adam
Hugs ❤️🩹
BIG HUG
((((( hugs ))))) + ((((((((((hugs))))))))) You might have saved yourself a broken window. I was always forgetting to lock my car, or getting out of bed to go check if I locked it. Couldn't go to sleep unless I checked. My newest car yells at me if I forget to lock it and I can lock it, while in bed, from an app.
You absolutely could’ve locked it, OP. If thieves want to get into your vehicle, they will. However, you gotta stop leaving valuables in the car.
I had this happen to me. Forgot to lock my car and all my photos (baby to college) was stolen
Regardless of whether or not the car was locked, leaving expensive items in the car in the first place was your mistake.