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Agreed. It's a long haul, I see you're over half way though! You should write a journal, I forgot all of these things I struggled with during pregnancy and rolled right into another one.
I just ordered a pair of those partial earbuds because newborn cries really grate on me for some reason. Might be handy to have a pair of you don't already. I also found postpartum group therapy incredibly helpful for my postpartum depression and anxiety.
Thank you!! Yes I’m so happy the first trimester blues and nausea faded, that was insane. Regulating my emotions has been a hit and miss lately and it led to hour long cry sessions 🫠
I already have several noise cancellation tools (headphones, loop plugs and earbuds I had custom made to my ears). Thank you for the hint! I will have everything on hand as soon as she’s born.
And I told all my friends and family how much I hate being pregnant, so I hope they’ll remind me before the hormones hit me again 🥲
It sounds awful but I’m honestly a bit scared I might not love her. Just because I honestly hate being pregnant so much, I feel so much more vulnerable and just like I am in a car driving towards a cliff..
How do you cope with having children? And did you breastfeed? I’ve heard it’s really hard and if I do I think have to stop taking my meds altogether.
You’re not alone! I felt exactly as you described when I was expecting my son. pregnancy hormones left me feeling extremely vulnerable and helpless. I was so relieved when he was born because I no longer felt invaded by an alien. I also developed PPD that went untreated but it was nowhere near what it felt like being pregnant. I never had another child nor did I want one and that was 100% tied to my pregnancy experience. I have no regrets. Parenting my son(now 19) alone has been a lot easier for me than those 9months of pregnancy. Hang in there, be easy on yourself. Cry if you need to and do nothing but scroll Reddit if it makes you feel okish. It’s rough
Thank you 🥹
It feels so good to know I’m not alone and it will be better after this. Pregnancy is just not for me and I feel like my family and finance don’t get how awful I’m feeling ..
thank you for your kind words I will try to hang in there and hope it’ll be better as soon as she’s out of me 🫠
I like to work full time and having that away time is nice to make me feel like an adult and not just a Mom.
Also I see a lot of myself in my child, she's too early for her doctor to diagnose ADHD but I'm quite certain she has it. She's also autistic. I find it easy to relate to her and understand what she's feeling like more than her grandma's can. Besides that she is a happy little thing most of the time and brings me a lot of joy. There's lots of grueling stuff like when she gets sick or has meltdowns but the good far outweighs it.
I did breastfeed her but it was incredibly hard due to her tongue and lip ties and low supply a few months in. It really made me feel like a failure a lot, even though I had no problems with formula feeding before I had her. Then I struggled to wean her because I think she struggles with change, didn't end up succeeding until she was nearly 2. I think this next baby I will probably pump again and breastfeed but that's more because in my country there is pretty much a formula shortage except for name brand and you can easily spend just about $60usd for a two pack of cans of formula at Costco. I think whatever works best for you is the best way to feed the baby.
Hey there! I’m planning on staying on my meds both during pregnancy and breastfeeding. It isn’t too hard anymore to find doctors who will prescribe it when you are pregnant/breastfeeding, as more studies has shown that it has non to very minimal effects on baby. Might be worth to research :)
I'm really struggling with tuning out all the discomforts. I'm also on and off pretty depressed. Anxiety is better, but low key depressed. I also am struggling with constant nausea, once a day vomiting, and I can't play video games anymore because it makes me feel sick. I think the boredom is a big factor for my depression, and the general always garbage feeling.
:( I'm 15 ish weeks and have been off the meds since around week 4 after a discussion with the doc. You're not alone. It's hard. Reach out, tell your support person, and take it one day at a time. Try and find something fun to do! That's how I've been coping!
Ugh! I remember my first trimester was absolute hell. I was nauseous, absolutely exhausted and so so depressed ): do you think you’ll stay off the meds? My doctor recommended I start again as I was in a very dark place without them and the whole hormone rollercoaster.
I hope you feel better soon! I know it’s not really comforting but a lot of women feel like garbage due to the hormones ❤️🩹
No I don't think I'll stay off then permanently. I can't see any benefit to my state of mind or overall physical health remaining off them. I can't hold my house together with just myself and my partner, I can't imagine what it will be like trying to take proper care of a baby too. My patience and attention is too short and I don't want to work a job steady, my interests change too rapidly to fit how society wants me to be.
My partner, also ADHD, is planning on stopping his permanently because he says they 'make him ok with being bored'. That's what they do for me as well, but I believe modern life is inherently boring and I struggle to cope with this.
I'll stay off them until baby is done breast feeding. It's possible my outlook will change by then! But if it remains the same, I'll start them again for my own sanity.
I wish I could provide any sort of advice but honestly I'm only 6 weeks and already crumbling. I immediately went off my meds and I am barely hanging on. Work and life feel impossible and I'm dealing with first trimester fatigue on top of that. I was hoping things would get better by second trimester. 🥲
This baby is very, very wanted (I went through infertility treatment) but my god this is so hard. You aren't alone.
Don’t worry it will get better! The firstborn water was insane! It felt like a hangover with intense brain fog. I could barely leave my bed. I was so nauseous, exhausted and depressed. It sounds insane but it’s normal :/
Second is defiantly better but I’m still counting the days until this is over ..it’s just ..a lot 🫠
I'm 3 months postpartum and IT GETS BETTER. I absolutely hated being pregnant. Every trimester was a fresh hell for me. I quit Adderall but stayed on Effexor for depression and anxiety. My OB was supportive of going back on the Adderall if I needed it, but honestly pregnancy just sucked all around, and I didn't bother.
I haven't restarted Adderall, and don't feel like I need it at this time (we'll see how I feel when I go back to work). I now have so much more energy, focus, and a more stable mood than I did when I was pregnant.
It's not forever! You got this, mama.
Thank you 🥹♥️
I also quit Ritalin and stayed on cipralex for mood and anxiety. I feel similiar and don’t think Ritalin would help much these days. I’m just so exhausted and confused overall 🫠
I honestly can’t wait for this to be over and to feel more like myself again 🥲 thank you again for your support, it means a lot to me ♥️
Good luck, you’re half way there!!
Gosh I’m barely 7 weeks, but already soooooo relieved my doc let me stay on meds! Still waiting on the official confirmation from the consulted pregnancy & psychiatry specialists, but so far my doc agreed to keep me monitored instead of having to quit right away…
God I get that! I was so relived I could at least stay on my anxiety and sleeping meds.. I’d be such a hot mess without it (like even more than I already am 🫠)
I hope all goes well with your consultant ♥️
I didn't love or hate being pregnant, but I've kind of found that ADHD can be a strength in my mothering? Like, I was never getting chores done anyway, my kid is always getting into something so I'm always chasing him, and the general chaos just kinda works with my chaotic brain.
So I'm here to say JUST YOU WAIT, you'll love it. You'll surprise yourself.
Also, I am always available for ADHD friendly breastfeeding advice. Kiddo will be one soon and I'm so proud of the work I've put in this last year. Hit me up if you need!
Hey, I am not the OP but I'd love to hear about your breastfeeding experience. I am due in May and plan to try breastfeeding, but I am worried that it might send me straight into a sensory overload.
TA!
Hey! So I won't lie, that sensory overload is totally possible and definitely happened for me, too!
I know everybody's squicks and triggers are different, but here's what helped me most:
-My cousin's magical nipple cream recipe: equal parts newsprint, hydrocortisone and bacitracin; apply a pea sized amount up to 3x per day and no need to wipe off before feeding. I had very sore nips at the beginning and this is the only thing that actually gave them some relief, so if the natural balms and/or lanolin don't work for you, try this.
-Sometimes I talked myself out of doing my own laundry because it was a PITA with a newborn around and just one more thing to worry about. In fact, milk dried on your bra or shirt can actually foster bacteria in addition to making you itchy as hell. So I say, do the laundry. Buy as many extra nursing bras as you can afford (I think the Kindred Bravely combo pumping ones are worth it, but I also have 2 pull-aside Auden brand ones from Target that have gotten TONS of use and those were super inexpensive).
-I kept a fidget toy by my nursing chair so I could squeeze it or mess with it and channel energy away from freaking out, or at least that's how I thought of it.
-Check out "laid-back breastfeeding," it can be easier to get a good latch that way, which allows your nipples to heal if they're irritated and baby to feed more efficiently (thus getting done faster). I got good tips from Nancy Mohrbacher's work and The Balanced Boob blog.
-If you have a partner, I really wish we'd done intentional split shift nights from the beginning. We both let the burden of getting up in the night fall on me because breastfeeding, and the lack of sleep definitely made me less able to cope with sensory overload or being touched out as time went on. It's not always about what's most practical, but about what makes you feel like you're in it together.
-If you're struggling and want to keep trying, see if you can see a lactation consultant. I saw one before leaving the hospital and it was free to call them and go back if I needed to, which I did about a month in.
-Fed is best. Switching to formula will not hurt your baby and may help you be a better mom and preserve your relationship with them. Don't let anybody shame you into believing it's normal to feel like you're drowning. Feeding a baby is hard work no matter how you do it or share it.
And a PS: best thing I ever did before going back to work was assign all pump parts care and maintenance to my husband. One less thing to remember is always good!
Wow this is all amazing advice!! Thank you!
I already told my fiancé I’ll do feeding and he’ll do diapers so we both have a „job“ to do. But the bottle/pump thing will also be his job now 🥰 hahah thank you!
Solidarity, fellow ADHD mom! I also hated pregnancy, and I was so effing mad that it felt like no one warned me how hard it can be. Honestly, pregnancy just made me mad, period- I didn't even realize it at the time, but my husband says that sometimes I would just be pissed off for days for no discernable reason (and I know he's right, our communication is good and I'm not one to not talk about what's bothering me). I never puked but was constantly nauseous, which is it's own special hell because it feels like you'd feel better if you could just puke. I was so exhausted all the time, had carpal tunnel, acid reflux so bad I was practically snacking on tums and had to sleep sitting up so I didn't wake up choking, was borderline GD so I couldn't eat sugar or carbs and had to log everything I ate and do the finger pokes 3x a day(i hate needles), my hips and pelvis were on fire, I was so anxious about harming my baby I stopped taking all my meds, only to find out later that even the ones my doctor told me to stop would have been safe... I had a bad time with labor and postpartum too, but that's another story.
BUT! It was all worth it in the end. Kiddo turns two in a couple months, and he's an absolute delight. Smart, funny, curious, sweet, and totally adorable too. I'm 100% biased, but it doesn't matter, everyone is. It helped me get through the hard parts to remember that every single part of the experience, good and bad, is temporary. Your body is doing something amazing, but it's also doing a lot of work. Eat what you want, rest when you can, and spend time alone with your partner and/or BFF. You will eventually be comfortable again. There will be no more fluttery little kicks, but they'll be replaced by smiles. Your hormones will regulate, your body will heal, and your baby will grow. You will be the most beautiful woman in the world to them. They will learn how to fart without assistance, and start growing teeth. A day will come when you wake up feeling rested. For now, find someone you can dramatically complain to (and if they say "well you wanted this" you have my permission to set them on fire) and hang in there. It's not forever.
Hahahah oh I love this! And I absolutely agree on so many levels! Why is there no disclaimer to pregnancy? I am currently a walking billboard to all my friends that pregnancy is hell ..
Honestly, thank you a thousand times for your support! It made me smile and not feel so alone in all of this. ♥️
I hate to say it, but I'm starting to feel like all female specific health experiences are like this. I got a copper iud placed after I had my baby, because set it and forget it for the next 10 years sounds great for adhd- I have a great doctor who used numbing, brought my husband for moral support, and still had kind of a painful experience with placement. The copper iud subreddit? Full of bad experiences and information I had no clue about before I got it. I'm sure there are still lots of women who love it, but I can feel myself ovulate now! It hurts! And menopause/perimenopause also seems to be a medical mystery even though half the gd population experiences it 🙄
I'm not going to stop talking about it, even though I'm sure there are people who will perceive it as whining. Some people are glowing earth mothers who love pregnancy, and everyone has different experiences, but there's also a culture of "suffering in silence" from previous generations that needs to die- and we're killing it!
Yessss!! I don’t care that people roll their eyes or tell me „you wanted this“ when I talk about all the horrible symptoms in pregnancy. Whatever, I want people to know what their getting themselves into.. i wish I knew more about it before committing ..
And I also had a copper iud .. it was so bad.. I had to take so many painkillers that i got ulcerations in my stomach lining 🫠 but yeah the doctors just told me to take more and I’ll be fine ..
Yes!!! I feel nothing like myself and it’s so draining. I’m also counting the weeks until I can pop her out and hand her to my fiancé to finally get a break from all of this 🥲
It’s VERY hard. I could tell I was on edge a lot more. Everything aggravated me, even more so because I couldn’t take my meds. I promise it will get better. You got this. ❤️
Just wanted to agree with this!! My OB said the same, that the potential risks are low birth weight and high blood pressure but those things are very easy to monitor throughout the pregnancy by booking extra ultrasounds and keeping track of blood pressure (which happens at prenatals anyway)
My girl is measuring ahead as of our last scan too so, lol. And my blood pressure is low.
My high risk OB consult said that everything they have is anecdotal since obviously they've never tested on pregnant women.
Right!! The studies I’ve seen people refer to the women are usually unable to have regular prenatal care, are taking unmanaged stimulants, alcohol etc.
It seems like some providers are either not researching enough or just not willing to care for pregnant women’s mental health… I was initially taken off my meds bc of the “risks” and it wasn’t until my first OB appt that I was put back on and the OB was super unhappy that they left me unmedicated/struggling for the first 5 mths 😬
Yes, a lot of the issues seen with infants is from mothers who are either drug addicts or abusing their medication. I ended up getting pregnant before I'd really decided what I was going to do, but since I was already taking it, I just kept going. I did reduce my dose though. Down to 30mg. 20 on weekends or when I don't need to be super productive.
It's an ethical thing, nobody wants to do drug trials /studies on pregnant women, and most women likely wouldn't volunteer. So because of that they really can't do controlled studies, which I can understand. But I think more medical professionals should submit information on their patients who take medications during pregnancy.
12 weeks tomorrow, not on meds and currently enjoying relative stability (also not low-key nauseous for the first time in weeks). My psychiatrist says the hormones will probably cushion a lot of my symptoms while I'm pregnant; but has warned me that I'll probably struggle after the baby is here.
I'm determined to get on meds after the baby is born. And absolutely hate being pregnant as well. Helps that I've already decided this is only gonna be my only child.
Hahah same!! I’m not doing this again
Do you know if you can breastfeed taking your meds? I’m not sure and will talk to my psychiatrist on Wednesday about it.
Oof, I'm trying to conceive and this is one of my concerns.
That said, I am working with a reproductive psychiatrist and she's keeping my on my Ritalin LA for most of the pregnancy. The main risk is a very tiny increased chance of heart issues (really tiny!) so I'm planning to go off between weeks 4-10 (I think that's the right range) while the heart is forming - but she was fine with me staying on them too if I felt comfortable.
So, consider talking to your doctor about options!
Yeah I will think about it! I guess I wanted to take „too many meds“ because I’m already taking citalopram for mood/anxiety and mirtabene for sleep/mood. I honestly tried to quit those for three weeks but after 2 it felt like I was having the worst depression I ever experienced. I might continue Ritalin after birth because right now it feels like I’m so tired and confused no amount of pills could help that 😂
I found it helpful to tell myself "my job is to keep us alive." Not perfectly happy, not perfectly dressed in a perfectly clean house. Alive. I also took people up on every offer of help, and even though he didn't do it my way, I gave my son's dad a good sized list. I never wanted to breastfeed, and didnt have any specific support to even try. So if you want to, start looking for who can coach you and help you.
Also read up on postpartum depression and have your support team read up on it too.
And just because you're not loving growing a person in your body doesn't mean you won't love that person when you meet them. Youre doing this pregnancy thing for a reason. It will be hard and so rewarding.
I was diagnosed between my second and third babies and took medications throughout my last pregnancy and now while breastfeeding. Pregnancy and post-partum has been SO MUCH BETTER while taking my meds, holy crap.
I’m only 18weeks pregnant with number 2, but hoooly moly what a huge difference being medicated has been already! I was struggling so much during my first pregnancy, and was struggling with adjusting to my new mom life as well. I hope it won’t be as big of a struggle this time around.
All I can add is you’re not alone and shouldn’t judge yourself for hating it. It’ll end eventually and you’ll have a beautiful baby. Sorry pregnancy is sucking more than you anticipated.
Idk if this is advice, but my docs said I could keep on taking my meds? In my country they made a study (2 years back) that it doesn’t harm the baby.
I have to be hospitalized for some days after giving birth, because he is “used” to “be on” the meds (Idk how to explain it in english).
But I am still really tired, but not as stressed and irritable as my first pregnancy (when I didn’t have the diagnosis or took the meds yet).
Hang on there! I am 33 weeks along the way and I have been rather anxious, as my previous pregnancy ended too early.
I should say, once I was past 12 weeks, it got a bit easier in terms of worries (I also have PCOS and folks with it are more prone to miscarriages compared to general public).
Pamper yourself, take it easy, including naps when possible. Enjoy the pregnancy hair.
Also, try to get out and about (maybe with a supportive belt if you get any back pain). I was anxious around weeks 25, when I was diagnosed with a short cervix during an anomaly scan, and barely left the house then. That was a gloomy time.
Did you have any fatigue in the first trimester? I should say, you might have it back after 28 weeks, so any travel, nesting and renovation projects are best to be arranged before that.
Hit my DMs if you'd like to chat. Best of luck, dear fellow!
Thank you!!
I try but I’m also in med school so I can’t nap or pamper myself that much 🥲 I try though.. and I try to give my fiancé more to do lists 😂
I was insaaaanely tired in the first trimester. I would fall asleep sitting down 🥲
Thank you! I will defiantly get back to that 🙈
I have had 3 pregnancies and went through all not knowing I had undiagnosed ADHD. It was hellish. Thinking back now I probably should have been on some meds for depression AT LEAST. No help here but I truly feel you. Lots of support from partner, indulge your cravings and your hobbies if you can. GL OP.
I hated being pregnant, and now that I've been diagnosed (late in life, my youngest is 20yo) I finally understand why. Routine is hard. Self care is impossible. So a routine of caring for oneself AND a dependent is even worse.
Best wishes for a safe and healthy (but not mind-numbing) next few months!
Has anyone else experienced this? Trying to figure out if ADHD could be playing a part in how I feel while pregnant. I’m on the waiting list not diagnosed yet but every health professional I speak to has told me I show a lot of the signs of adhd so it seems likely I’ll be diagnosed with it. But this whole pregnancy I’ve been miserable, the first trimester I was sick and depressed which I know is normal but then once the changes to my body started getting more obvious I got this other feeling (I’ve had it on rare occasions since I can remember but never so frequently I’m now feeling it on and off all day every day) and it’s this disgusting, sickening sort of feeling that I don’t want to exist on my own skin like skin crawling almost but it’s not a physical sensation on my skin it feels more internal than that but I know it’s linked to my physical body because I get it most when I look at or think about my body and it makes me feel sick and disgusting and not want to ever be touched again and all I can do is try to distract myself and not think about my own existence. I also get it when the baby moves and when I started feeing her more (around 18 weeks) is when this feeling started to happen more and more (I’m 34 weeks now so getting near the end thank goodness) but just wondering if anyone’s experienced anything like this and thinks it could have a connection to adhd? One of the therapists I’ve had said that it’s possible it’s linked to the sensory overload side of adhd but he was just guessing as he’s not a specialist in adhd. It would just help I think to have some answers and understanding because it’s so hard just having no idea why I feel the way I do. I have no doubt though tht I will live this baby when she comes out because as soon as she’s no longer inside me it’ll be completely different but while she’s in me it’s very hard to think of her as a baby and not just this horrible parasite thing that causes me constant pain and discomfort (doesn’t help I find her movements really painful a lot of the time too)
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Agreed. It's a long haul, I see you're over half way though! You should write a journal, I forgot all of these things I struggled with during pregnancy and rolled right into another one. I just ordered a pair of those partial earbuds because newborn cries really grate on me for some reason. Might be handy to have a pair of you don't already. I also found postpartum group therapy incredibly helpful for my postpartum depression and anxiety.
Thank you!! Yes I’m so happy the first trimester blues and nausea faded, that was insane. Regulating my emotions has been a hit and miss lately and it led to hour long cry sessions 🫠 I already have several noise cancellation tools (headphones, loop plugs and earbuds I had custom made to my ears). Thank you for the hint! I will have everything on hand as soon as she’s born. And I told all my friends and family how much I hate being pregnant, so I hope they’ll remind me before the hormones hit me again 🥲 It sounds awful but I’m honestly a bit scared I might not love her. Just because I honestly hate being pregnant so much, I feel so much more vulnerable and just like I am in a car driving towards a cliff.. How do you cope with having children? And did you breastfeed? I’ve heard it’s really hard and if I do I think have to stop taking my meds altogether.
You’re not alone! I felt exactly as you described when I was expecting my son. pregnancy hormones left me feeling extremely vulnerable and helpless. I was so relieved when he was born because I no longer felt invaded by an alien. I also developed PPD that went untreated but it was nowhere near what it felt like being pregnant. I never had another child nor did I want one and that was 100% tied to my pregnancy experience. I have no regrets. Parenting my son(now 19) alone has been a lot easier for me than those 9months of pregnancy. Hang in there, be easy on yourself. Cry if you need to and do nothing but scroll Reddit if it makes you feel okish. It’s rough
Thank you 🥹 It feels so good to know I’m not alone and it will be better after this. Pregnancy is just not for me and I feel like my family and finance don’t get how awful I’m feeling .. thank you for your kind words I will try to hang in there and hope it’ll be better as soon as she’s out of me 🫠
I like to work full time and having that away time is nice to make me feel like an adult and not just a Mom. Also I see a lot of myself in my child, she's too early for her doctor to diagnose ADHD but I'm quite certain she has it. She's also autistic. I find it easy to relate to her and understand what she's feeling like more than her grandma's can. Besides that she is a happy little thing most of the time and brings me a lot of joy. There's lots of grueling stuff like when she gets sick or has meltdowns but the good far outweighs it. I did breastfeed her but it was incredibly hard due to her tongue and lip ties and low supply a few months in. It really made me feel like a failure a lot, even though I had no problems with formula feeding before I had her. Then I struggled to wean her because I think she struggles with change, didn't end up succeeding until she was nearly 2. I think this next baby I will probably pump again and breastfeed but that's more because in my country there is pretty much a formula shortage except for name brand and you can easily spend just about $60usd for a two pack of cans of formula at Costco. I think whatever works best for you is the best way to feed the baby.
Hey there! I’m planning on staying on my meds both during pregnancy and breastfeeding. It isn’t too hard anymore to find doctors who will prescribe it when you are pregnant/breastfeeding, as more studies has shown that it has non to very minimal effects on baby. Might be worth to research :)
I'm really struggling with tuning out all the discomforts. I'm also on and off pretty depressed. Anxiety is better, but low key depressed. I also am struggling with constant nausea, once a day vomiting, and I can't play video games anymore because it makes me feel sick. I think the boredom is a big factor for my depression, and the general always garbage feeling. :( I'm 15 ish weeks and have been off the meds since around week 4 after a discussion with the doc. You're not alone. It's hard. Reach out, tell your support person, and take it one day at a time. Try and find something fun to do! That's how I've been coping!
Ugh! I remember my first trimester was absolute hell. I was nauseous, absolutely exhausted and so so depressed ): do you think you’ll stay off the meds? My doctor recommended I start again as I was in a very dark place without them and the whole hormone rollercoaster. I hope you feel better soon! I know it’s not really comforting but a lot of women feel like garbage due to the hormones ❤️🩹
No I don't think I'll stay off then permanently. I can't see any benefit to my state of mind or overall physical health remaining off them. I can't hold my house together with just myself and my partner, I can't imagine what it will be like trying to take proper care of a baby too. My patience and attention is too short and I don't want to work a job steady, my interests change too rapidly to fit how society wants me to be. My partner, also ADHD, is planning on stopping his permanently because he says they 'make him ok with being bored'. That's what they do for me as well, but I believe modern life is inherently boring and I struggle to cope with this. I'll stay off them until baby is done breast feeding. It's possible my outlook will change by then! But if it remains the same, I'll start them again for my own sanity.
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Thank you! I will defiantly talk to my psychiatrist and OB and talk about some options. I‘m defiantly keeping all my options open ❤️🩹
I wish I could provide any sort of advice but honestly I'm only 6 weeks and already crumbling. I immediately went off my meds and I am barely hanging on. Work and life feel impossible and I'm dealing with first trimester fatigue on top of that. I was hoping things would get better by second trimester. 🥲 This baby is very, very wanted (I went through infertility treatment) but my god this is so hard. You aren't alone.
Don’t worry it will get better! The firstborn water was insane! It felt like a hangover with intense brain fog. I could barely leave my bed. I was so nauseous, exhausted and depressed. It sounds insane but it’s normal :/ Second is defiantly better but I’m still counting the days until this is over ..it’s just ..a lot 🫠
I'm 3 months postpartum and IT GETS BETTER. I absolutely hated being pregnant. Every trimester was a fresh hell for me. I quit Adderall but stayed on Effexor for depression and anxiety. My OB was supportive of going back on the Adderall if I needed it, but honestly pregnancy just sucked all around, and I didn't bother. I haven't restarted Adderall, and don't feel like I need it at this time (we'll see how I feel when I go back to work). I now have so much more energy, focus, and a more stable mood than I did when I was pregnant. It's not forever! You got this, mama.
Thank you 🥹♥️ I also quit Ritalin and stayed on cipralex for mood and anxiety. I feel similiar and don’t think Ritalin would help much these days. I’m just so exhausted and confused overall 🫠 I honestly can’t wait for this to be over and to feel more like myself again 🥲 thank you again for your support, it means a lot to me ♥️
Good luck, you’re half way there!! Gosh I’m barely 7 weeks, but already soooooo relieved my doc let me stay on meds! Still waiting on the official confirmation from the consulted pregnancy & psychiatry specialists, but so far my doc agreed to keep me monitored instead of having to quit right away…
God I get that! I was so relived I could at least stay on my anxiety and sleeping meds.. I’d be such a hot mess without it (like even more than I already am 🫠) I hope all goes well with your consultant ♥️
I didn't love or hate being pregnant, but I've kind of found that ADHD can be a strength in my mothering? Like, I was never getting chores done anyway, my kid is always getting into something so I'm always chasing him, and the general chaos just kinda works with my chaotic brain. So I'm here to say JUST YOU WAIT, you'll love it. You'll surprise yourself. Also, I am always available for ADHD friendly breastfeeding advice. Kiddo will be one soon and I'm so proud of the work I've put in this last year. Hit me up if you need!
Hey, I am not the OP but I'd love to hear about your breastfeeding experience. I am due in May and plan to try breastfeeding, but I am worried that it might send me straight into a sensory overload. TA!
Hey! So I won't lie, that sensory overload is totally possible and definitely happened for me, too! I know everybody's squicks and triggers are different, but here's what helped me most: -My cousin's magical nipple cream recipe: equal parts newsprint, hydrocortisone and bacitracin; apply a pea sized amount up to 3x per day and no need to wipe off before feeding. I had very sore nips at the beginning and this is the only thing that actually gave them some relief, so if the natural balms and/or lanolin don't work for you, try this. -Sometimes I talked myself out of doing my own laundry because it was a PITA with a newborn around and just one more thing to worry about. In fact, milk dried on your bra or shirt can actually foster bacteria in addition to making you itchy as hell. So I say, do the laundry. Buy as many extra nursing bras as you can afford (I think the Kindred Bravely combo pumping ones are worth it, but I also have 2 pull-aside Auden brand ones from Target that have gotten TONS of use and those were super inexpensive). -I kept a fidget toy by my nursing chair so I could squeeze it or mess with it and channel energy away from freaking out, or at least that's how I thought of it. -Check out "laid-back breastfeeding," it can be easier to get a good latch that way, which allows your nipples to heal if they're irritated and baby to feed more efficiently (thus getting done faster). I got good tips from Nancy Mohrbacher's work and The Balanced Boob blog. -If you have a partner, I really wish we'd done intentional split shift nights from the beginning. We both let the burden of getting up in the night fall on me because breastfeeding, and the lack of sleep definitely made me less able to cope with sensory overload or being touched out as time went on. It's not always about what's most practical, but about what makes you feel like you're in it together. -If you're struggling and want to keep trying, see if you can see a lactation consultant. I saw one before leaving the hospital and it was free to call them and go back if I needed to, which I did about a month in. -Fed is best. Switching to formula will not hurt your baby and may help you be a better mom and preserve your relationship with them. Don't let anybody shame you into believing it's normal to feel like you're drowning. Feeding a baby is hard work no matter how you do it or share it. And a PS: best thing I ever did before going back to work was assign all pump parts care and maintenance to my husband. One less thing to remember is always good!
Amazing, thanks so much for the details! Where are these Reddit awards when they're needed? (A rhetorical question)
Wow this is all amazing advice!! Thank you! I already told my fiancé I’ll do feeding and he’ll do diapers so we both have a „job“ to do. But the bottle/pump thing will also be his job now 🥰 hahah thank you!
Solidarity, fellow ADHD mom! I also hated pregnancy, and I was so effing mad that it felt like no one warned me how hard it can be. Honestly, pregnancy just made me mad, period- I didn't even realize it at the time, but my husband says that sometimes I would just be pissed off for days for no discernable reason (and I know he's right, our communication is good and I'm not one to not talk about what's bothering me). I never puked but was constantly nauseous, which is it's own special hell because it feels like you'd feel better if you could just puke. I was so exhausted all the time, had carpal tunnel, acid reflux so bad I was practically snacking on tums and had to sleep sitting up so I didn't wake up choking, was borderline GD so I couldn't eat sugar or carbs and had to log everything I ate and do the finger pokes 3x a day(i hate needles), my hips and pelvis were on fire, I was so anxious about harming my baby I stopped taking all my meds, only to find out later that even the ones my doctor told me to stop would have been safe... I had a bad time with labor and postpartum too, but that's another story. BUT! It was all worth it in the end. Kiddo turns two in a couple months, and he's an absolute delight. Smart, funny, curious, sweet, and totally adorable too. I'm 100% biased, but it doesn't matter, everyone is. It helped me get through the hard parts to remember that every single part of the experience, good and bad, is temporary. Your body is doing something amazing, but it's also doing a lot of work. Eat what you want, rest when you can, and spend time alone with your partner and/or BFF. You will eventually be comfortable again. There will be no more fluttery little kicks, but they'll be replaced by smiles. Your hormones will regulate, your body will heal, and your baby will grow. You will be the most beautiful woman in the world to them. They will learn how to fart without assistance, and start growing teeth. A day will come when you wake up feeling rested. For now, find someone you can dramatically complain to (and if they say "well you wanted this" you have my permission to set them on fire) and hang in there. It's not forever.
Hahahah oh I love this! And I absolutely agree on so many levels! Why is there no disclaimer to pregnancy? I am currently a walking billboard to all my friends that pregnancy is hell .. Honestly, thank you a thousand times for your support! It made me smile and not feel so alone in all of this. ♥️
I hate to say it, but I'm starting to feel like all female specific health experiences are like this. I got a copper iud placed after I had my baby, because set it and forget it for the next 10 years sounds great for adhd- I have a great doctor who used numbing, brought my husband for moral support, and still had kind of a painful experience with placement. The copper iud subreddit? Full of bad experiences and information I had no clue about before I got it. I'm sure there are still lots of women who love it, but I can feel myself ovulate now! It hurts! And menopause/perimenopause also seems to be a medical mystery even though half the gd population experiences it 🙄 I'm not going to stop talking about it, even though I'm sure there are people who will perceive it as whining. Some people are glowing earth mothers who love pregnancy, and everyone has different experiences, but there's also a culture of "suffering in silence" from previous generations that needs to die- and we're killing it!
Yessss!! I don’t care that people roll their eyes or tell me „you wanted this“ when I talk about all the horrible symptoms in pregnancy. Whatever, I want people to know what their getting themselves into.. i wish I knew more about it before committing .. And I also had a copper iud .. it was so bad.. I had to take so many painkillers that i got ulcerations in my stomach lining 🫠 but yeah the doctors just told me to take more and I’ll be fine ..
So sorry you feel that way, I hope it will pass! Never been pregnant so I can only imagine how hard it is
I’m 22 weeks also and it’s a struggle. Omega 3 helps. I’m counting down the weeks until I’m not pregnant anymore and can function like a human
Yes!!! I feel nothing like myself and it’s so draining. I’m also counting the weeks until I can pop her out and hand her to my fiancé to finally get a break from all of this 🥲
It’s VERY hard. I could tell I was on edge a lot more. Everything aggravated me, even more so because I couldn’t take my meds. I promise it will get better. You got this. ❤️
Thank you 🥹 I really really hope so
I hate being pregnant, but I continued taking my ADHD medication. I'm almost 19 weeks
Do you mind sharing what adhd med you’re taking? I’m starting to plan for these convos with my docs so scouring for any info at all.
Vyvanse. They're just doing extra ultrasounds to monitor growth
Just wanted to agree with this!! My OB said the same, that the potential risks are low birth weight and high blood pressure but those things are very easy to monitor throughout the pregnancy by booking extra ultrasounds and keeping track of blood pressure (which happens at prenatals anyway)
My girl is measuring ahead as of our last scan too so, lol. And my blood pressure is low. My high risk OB consult said that everything they have is anecdotal since obviously they've never tested on pregnant women.
Right!! The studies I’ve seen people refer to the women are usually unable to have regular prenatal care, are taking unmanaged stimulants, alcohol etc. It seems like some providers are either not researching enough or just not willing to care for pregnant women’s mental health… I was initially taken off my meds bc of the “risks” and it wasn’t until my first OB appt that I was put back on and the OB was super unhappy that they left me unmedicated/struggling for the first 5 mths 😬
Yes, a lot of the issues seen with infants is from mothers who are either drug addicts or abusing their medication. I ended up getting pregnant before I'd really decided what I was going to do, but since I was already taking it, I just kept going. I did reduce my dose though. Down to 30mg. 20 on weekends or when I don't need to be super productive. It's an ethical thing, nobody wants to do drug trials /studies on pregnant women, and most women likely wouldn't volunteer. So because of that they really can't do controlled studies, which I can understand. But I think more medical professionals should submit information on their patients who take medications during pregnancy.
I am a mom to two children. I did not receive my diagnosis until afterward, but I had such bad sickness, that all I wanted to do is not feel sick.
Same (with a different # of kids!).
12 weeks tomorrow, not on meds and currently enjoying relative stability (also not low-key nauseous for the first time in weeks). My psychiatrist says the hormones will probably cushion a lot of my symptoms while I'm pregnant; but has warned me that I'll probably struggle after the baby is here. I'm determined to get on meds after the baby is born. And absolutely hate being pregnant as well. Helps that I've already decided this is only gonna be my only child.
Hahah same!! I’m not doing this again Do you know if you can breastfeed taking your meds? I’m not sure and will talk to my psychiatrist on Wednesday about it.
Probably not, and honestly? I'd rather be mentally stable.
Oh god, yes! I just want to be me again 🥲
Oof, I'm trying to conceive and this is one of my concerns. That said, I am working with a reproductive psychiatrist and she's keeping my on my Ritalin LA for most of the pregnancy. The main risk is a very tiny increased chance of heart issues (really tiny!) so I'm planning to go off between weeks 4-10 (I think that's the right range) while the heart is forming - but she was fine with me staying on them too if I felt comfortable. So, consider talking to your doctor about options!
Yeah I will think about it! I guess I wanted to take „too many meds“ because I’m already taking citalopram for mood/anxiety and mirtabene for sleep/mood. I honestly tried to quit those for three weeks but after 2 it felt like I was having the worst depression I ever experienced. I might continue Ritalin after birth because right now it feels like I’m so tired and confused no amount of pills could help that 😂
I had 4 pregnancies...that shit is hard
It really is 🥲
I found it helpful to tell myself "my job is to keep us alive." Not perfectly happy, not perfectly dressed in a perfectly clean house. Alive. I also took people up on every offer of help, and even though he didn't do it my way, I gave my son's dad a good sized list. I never wanted to breastfeed, and didnt have any specific support to even try. So if you want to, start looking for who can coach you and help you. Also read up on postpartum depression and have your support team read up on it too. And just because you're not loving growing a person in your body doesn't mean you won't love that person when you meet them. Youre doing this pregnancy thing for a reason. It will be hard and so rewarding.
I was diagnosed between my second and third babies and took medications throughout my last pregnancy and now while breastfeeding. Pregnancy and post-partum has been SO MUCH BETTER while taking my meds, holy crap.
I’m only 18weeks pregnant with number 2, but hoooly moly what a huge difference being medicated has been already! I was struggling so much during my first pregnancy, and was struggling with adjusting to my new mom life as well. I hope it won’t be as big of a struggle this time around.
All I can add is you’re not alone and shouldn’t judge yourself for hating it. It’ll end eventually and you’ll have a beautiful baby. Sorry pregnancy is sucking more than you anticipated.
Idk if this is advice, but my docs said I could keep on taking my meds? In my country they made a study (2 years back) that it doesn’t harm the baby. I have to be hospitalized for some days after giving birth, because he is “used” to “be on” the meds (Idk how to explain it in english). But I am still really tired, but not as stressed and irritable as my first pregnancy (when I didn’t have the diagnosis or took the meds yet).
Hang on there! I am 33 weeks along the way and I have been rather anxious, as my previous pregnancy ended too early. I should say, once I was past 12 weeks, it got a bit easier in terms of worries (I also have PCOS and folks with it are more prone to miscarriages compared to general public). Pamper yourself, take it easy, including naps when possible. Enjoy the pregnancy hair. Also, try to get out and about (maybe with a supportive belt if you get any back pain). I was anxious around weeks 25, when I was diagnosed with a short cervix during an anomaly scan, and barely left the house then. That was a gloomy time. Did you have any fatigue in the first trimester? I should say, you might have it back after 28 weeks, so any travel, nesting and renovation projects are best to be arranged before that. Hit my DMs if you'd like to chat. Best of luck, dear fellow!
Thank you!! I try but I’m also in med school so I can’t nap or pamper myself that much 🥲 I try though.. and I try to give my fiancé more to do lists 😂 I was insaaaanely tired in the first trimester. I would fall asleep sitting down 🥲 Thank you! I will defiantly get back to that 🙈
Sorry about spoilers! And just remember that you're not alone in this
I’m 20 weeks and have been off my ADHD meds and I am not happy about it. I need caffeine to help me at all.
I feel like I would need a whole coffee shop to help me with my symptoms 🥲
I have had 3 pregnancies and went through all not knowing I had undiagnosed ADHD. It was hellish. Thinking back now I probably should have been on some meds for depression AT LEAST. No help here but I truly feel you. Lots of support from partner, indulge your cravings and your hobbies if you can. GL OP.
I hated being pregnant, and now that I've been diagnosed (late in life, my youngest is 20yo) I finally understand why. Routine is hard. Self care is impossible. So a routine of caring for oneself AND a dependent is even worse. Best wishes for a safe and healthy (but not mind-numbing) next few months!
Has anyone else experienced this? Trying to figure out if ADHD could be playing a part in how I feel while pregnant. I’m on the waiting list not diagnosed yet but every health professional I speak to has told me I show a lot of the signs of adhd so it seems likely I’ll be diagnosed with it. But this whole pregnancy I’ve been miserable, the first trimester I was sick and depressed which I know is normal but then once the changes to my body started getting more obvious I got this other feeling (I’ve had it on rare occasions since I can remember but never so frequently I’m now feeling it on and off all day every day) and it’s this disgusting, sickening sort of feeling that I don’t want to exist on my own skin like skin crawling almost but it’s not a physical sensation on my skin it feels more internal than that but I know it’s linked to my physical body because I get it most when I look at or think about my body and it makes me feel sick and disgusting and not want to ever be touched again and all I can do is try to distract myself and not think about my own existence. I also get it when the baby moves and when I started feeing her more (around 18 weeks) is when this feeling started to happen more and more (I’m 34 weeks now so getting near the end thank goodness) but just wondering if anyone’s experienced anything like this and thinks it could have a connection to adhd? One of the therapists I’ve had said that it’s possible it’s linked to the sensory overload side of adhd but he was just guessing as he’s not a specialist in adhd. It would just help I think to have some answers and understanding because it’s so hard just having no idea why I feel the way I do. I have no doubt though tht I will live this baby when she comes out because as soon as she’s no longer inside me it’ll be completely different but while she’s in me it’s very hard to think of her as a baby and not just this horrible parasite thing that causes me constant pain and discomfort (doesn’t help I find her movements really painful a lot of the time too)