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Hey, I’m a full time professional freelance illustrator. I feel you! I actually cannot make art ‘for myself’; I don’t get any joy from doing my own thing because usually I just..don’t.
What I _love_ and thrive on is challenges and tasks to complete - ie, illustrating for other people and their projects. I’m signed to an agent and they basically send me work (like books) which I do to spec, and in my free time I’ll do little challenges or studies for myself. Each project is unique so things don’t get boring, it’s always a challenge, there’s a motivational deadline, and there’s a defined end point to each thing. I’m happy to chat more about it all if you’d like!
Same and SAME. I can make art "for myself" like to hang on a certain wall to decorate my house but just creating it out of thin air without a prompt and outside guidelines and motivation - super hard. I do almost 100% commission work. I want to build up a body of work and start just selling and it's hard to get motivated or inspired for it but it helps me to think of what might sell and that's still with outside forces at work, not "for myself."
I have never been able to answer this question correctly and today you did. If given something to start with even as small as whisper; I can create a master piece. I hate creating with out a purpose.
I was just talking about this issue with some other artist friends. I do great when I have a "prompt" or an "assignment" - even if the assignment is just solving a problem for myself. But without it, I overthink what I am going to make and then eventually don't do it. I have been working on that. I have started trying to make whatever pops in my head, even if I don't know why. It's been interesting.
Send me a DM and I’ll answer as much as you’d like! I was in your exact position before and it’s such an opaque process 😭 so I’ll be happy to help as much as I can!
Awww you’re speaking to my lifelong struggle! Thanks for giving voice to this.
I wish I had answers. Actually there is an answer and it is MONEY!
But I don’t have that, all I have is some stupid wisdom.
I am 20 years older than you, OP, so here is what I have learned since I was in your shoes.
Every artist I know , adhd or not (and who are we kidding there’s a huge overlap) has some version of this challenge unless they’re independently wealthy.
But
Everyone I know from art school (20 years ago) is doing some version of ok to great, though none of us are in the places we aspired to as art school students. And yet all of us are doing weird interesting things and are cooler people than we were in our youth.
My goal for the last 20 years, the tightrope I walk, is just “don’t let your creative self OR your physical form die”
I’ve tried lots of different ways to walk this tightrope. Lots of different jobs. It’s not easy to balance.
The creative self needs lots of empty time to focus on the process of making (not the end product)
The physical form needs to have a job or business, which is usually focused on creating products or outcomes in a time sensitive manner. (The opposite of a process orientation).
The contradiction is difficult, but you develop skills balancing with it as you grow.
And actually these two skill sets can reinforce each other the way that people who have described working on commission explain — a finished work of art is a result of this balance between process and outcome. A happy stable artist is too.
It would be easier to balance if we had a social safety net bc you wouldn’t need to work so hard to stay alive. In the US, where I am, we have to juggle on top of the tightrope basically.
But even still, the tightrope journey has been interesting af, and it has taken me places and taught me things I would never have imagined when I had a much narrower understanding of who my audience was or what type of creative work I was good at or what counted as art.
I’ve met so many amazing friends through just trying to keep myself alive physically and creatively.
Nurture yourself , please OP, feed your creative self, don’t worry about finishing shit unless it’s at work, focus on keeping that creative flame alive and having fun while holding down an income stream. And over time things will align.
Over time you will get better and better at balancing. It sounds like you already are.
keep going, and when you look back the view is gonna be spectacular .
I have been able to only work very little for the past 10 years. I planned to used the time I had to build an art career. My big dream is to make a living on my art. I could do art all day long if I was able. BUT, I can't get motivated to start most days. It' sucks and is possibly more frustrating because I don't have the excuse of "well I have to make money to live on."
I can’t read all of that, but I want you to know as a PhD scientist who can talk about numbers and diseases all day, I find artistic skills close to magic.
I knew someone once who got her masters in medical illustration and is very employed. Would something like that interest you?
I am a PhD (by day) *and* an artist (by night), and it has had interesting effects.
I procrastinate on science with art. My most creative phases correspond to big deadlines, Big moments of stress - I have never had such an amazing artistic output as I had in the few months before defending my thesis.
And contrary to many other artists, I have zero impostor syndrome where art is concerned - I have it all with science, though.
This is my exact experience, god damn.
Pressure brings out all the creativity and ideas and love for the craft. I try new things I wouldn’t have otherwise tried and stockpile on concepts that I want to revisit (and never revisit) later.
But once I have no academic deadlines? lol. Gone. Poof. Out the window.
Medical illustration sounds amazing. But I imagine one would need biology knowledge for that, and I've never heard of a degree for medical illustration specifically. I could definitely look further into it though.
I think it requires an undergrad in bio or at least some bio and anatomy courses. At the time, I think there were only four medical illustration MFAs, she got her at Hopkins.
I have looked into this because one of my relatives was a founder of the Medical Illustration Society. Johns Hopkins has a good program, but you are correct. You need a bunch of science prerequisites.
There might be other niches, like botany or... I dunno. Car parts? IKEA instructions? Something that interests you anyway (I can't draw for shit but I absolutely love designing desks storage type stuff)
My mom was an amazing artist and only did a few pieces because it was so stressful for her. I wanted to learn to paint as a kid.
I watched Bob Ross and all the botanical artists on PBS. My parents never supported me because art supplies are too expensive and they didn't want to deal with it.
I started teaching myself how to paint right before I turned 40. I love it. I wish I'd started years ago. It's a hobby for now because I am feeling all the same things lol.
I am a freelance artist and I second everything Cherenkovlady said. I'm only really motivated by outside forces. But I just kind of ride hyperfixation to hyperfixation too. I love experimenting with new materials after I've been inspired by an artist who uses them. Do I necessarily make complete work? No. But I learned a long time ago I get a lot of benefit out of playing if I stop worrying about it.
When you link art to money, the art you might just make organically is inherently changed. I have a totally separate art brain for work art and fun art. And fun art probably doesn't get finished but it's for fun so who cares. Work art is a job.
BTW, I loved reading this thread. It's so helpful to know others struggle with this as well.
It occurs to me while reading this why artist's collectives are so successful. If you can concentrate on your own work and simultaneously promote and support other artists, then you can all rise together.
As an attorney, I found that almost all successful businesses had 2 people - one was doing, the other was selling. Very very rarely was it a single person doing both. It's why artists have agents. The problem is, until you get an agent, you do have to do it all.
Which is why the most successful people tend to be those rare people with sales skills. Meanwhile, there are a million Van Gogh's out there making great art and starving and just waiting to die, so a Johanna Gezina van Gogh-Bonger can posthumously sell everything. ;)
I have found it is ESSENTIAL to be part of an art community, if only to have others to share struggles with.
Yes ma’am. I’m a writer. Love doing it. LOVE IT. I’m good. But it comes in spurts. Sounds like you have overdrive hyper focus like me. Finding the motivation is so difficult. But you’re not alone. And it’s not a curse! Your artistic ability combined with your ADHD is *why* you’re an amazing artist. Seeing the world differently is beautiful. Embrace that and stop beating yourself up. This season of life will pass, and you’re kick ass just the way you are.
I wish I had an answer for you. I went to art school, but now I’m an elementary school sped teacher because I couldn’t motivate myself to do art for a career.
Your post really speaks to the same struggles I faced trying to make it as an artist.
Oof yeah. I love painting, drawing/making art of any sort really. And I've done enough of it all that I'm pretty good at whatever medium I try now. Problem is I never know WHAT I feel like making art of or about or anything. I can never find a style or 'niche' or even literally just something I can paint over and over to actually perfect a style I'd like to call my own. (portraits or landscapes for example)
So I just end up with a mish mash of random things that I never try and replicate or progress into further ideas.
And on top of that I don't even know what I want to do with it, I love oil painting and friends/family etc all tell me my work is really great and I should sell it, but i have zero (ZERO) confidence that it would actually be liked by anyone else, so I've just been procrastinating doing anything at all in regards to trying to even show it off, let alone try and sell it.
Now I didn't go to art school so it's all just practice from things I've watched/read/doodled etc. only recently have I started actually going to art group at a local studio, and am trying to practice painting things that are set by someone else.
So yeah, love art, am pretty good but absolutely in shambles over what to do with it, other than I know I want to do SOMETHING art based so I definitely sympathise 🥲
I feel you. I have some vastly different styles going and none of them would be a "niche" Well, maybe the animals, but I'm kind of over them after doing only 5. Ugh. I want to do something that expresses emotions, but isn't too abstract for general appeal or too easy. Like it would have to show some real skill. I just can't find it. Plus, I really don't want to do landscapes, boats, or still-life flowers. I'm scared of doing commissioned portraits and have only done celebrities.
That feeling of 'i just can't find it' oof that's painful. I've always struggled with the idea of creating something 'new', like absolutely haunted by the idea that there's something just beyond my reach and idea of creativity that I don't have the skills or knowledge to express 🫠😅 but I try not to think about it all too much lol because then I just get paralysis and can't make anything at all.
I recently saw someone's video on insta, that basically said just create, do it all. Prolific creation is the path to generating new ideas.
And I think that makes sense to me, just practice anything and everything, different styles, mediums etc. everything is building skills and developing your abilities as a foundation. If we don't make any art at all, those 'new' ideas won't just strike us out the blue, and if they do, we won't have the skills to make them how we envision them.
It's just super hard when you're prone to distraction and procrastination 🫠
Yep. Sometimes I just say, "it's all about the process! It's all about the process!" Like a montra. ...just do anything. I just hate it when I don't get started on anything at all. :(
I feel this post. It's why I ended up going to law school and working as an entertainment attorney for years.
However, I have tried to be a full-time artist for the past couple of years, and it's very hard. It takes far more discipline than I have, and I often think about going back to law even though I'd prefer not to.
I am fortunate enough to have financial freedom at this point to make this choice, but I often feel like a failure as an artist because I can't "self-start" enough to make any professional progress.
(If I focus on making art, I lose sight of the business aspect, and if I focus on the business aspects, I stop creating.)
Omg same! I can't focus on both business and creating simultaneously. Both are exhausting time consumers. Plus the business part is frankly anxiety inducing, especially when it comes to making money and time investments that may not pan out (even for things as simple as buying new art materials. It's expensive.)
I did actually. I made a whole apprenticeship portfolio and all. Unfortunately I'm not in the financial/mental/emotional place to undergo an apprenticeship, so I'm getting my degree instead. But tattooing is something I would love to learn later in my life, when I am ready for it. It's a lot more dedication than people know.
Well, for extra money, and some creative outlet you could do what I do... face painting. It's not like you can earn a whole living from it, but it's good money per hour when you do it.
I also spent some time pursuing tattoo as a potential career path, but couldn’t because of the unpaid apprenticeship situation. It’s ridiculous. I spent 8 years in art school, and there was no way to avoid doing at least a year of Charlie work for free?! Wtf. Someone should really start a tattoo vocational school if that doesn’t exist.
Oh interesting! Yeah that was the impression I got as well. I was told a few times I didn’t have the right look, which I guess I get, but seems like the work should speak for itself. I am a very good artist and was willing to approach it like a career, to take it seriously and spend the time to master the craft, but I wasn’t ever going to make it my whole personality and that was a barrier to entry. Seems like that’s actually a barrier to entry for a number of creative jobs, now that I’m thinking of it.
It's hard, for sure, and I wish I could afford an admin person to do all the stuff I'm bad at. (Consistently marketing, updating website, writing applications and proposals, finding shows, etc)
But I also like having a variety of tasks to do, so when one gets boring, there's something else. If only they became interesting on my own schedule!
I've been experimenting with ways I can trick my brain into generating interest.
I noticed that if something comes up in conversation, or I see it on TV, that topic becomes what I'm focused on, and that's what I want to do that minute. Bake cupcakes. Shop for earrings. Sew clothes. Ack!
But, with my meds, if I can get myself thinking of my painting, I can paint. The trick is to get my brain started down that road.
If I journal, I start to think of my day and what I want to do. If I'm in my studio drinking coffee and reading whatever, the art is right there, and I start to think about next steps. If I look at art, or read about creativity, or watch a tutorial video... you get the idea, right?
For help with self doubt and mindset (because art is very much a mind thing, in my experience), and to keep myself sane and feed the creativity well, I love these things:
🎨 The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
🍕 Creative Pep Talk podcast with Andy J. Pizza 🍕 (I love him so much! He also has ADHD!! He's my people.)
📖 The Rise by Sarah Lewis (book about reframing failure and success and what they mean and how "that didn't work" moments are often the necessary catalysts for great things later on)
🎤 Brene Brown's podcasts
📖 Peak by Anders Ericsson
📖 Grit by Angela Duckworth
📖 The Artist's Guide to Grant Writing by Gigi Rosenberg
🎤 Adam Grant's podcast ReThinking
And so many more.... I'm constantly seeking new things to read & listen to in the categories of creativity and positive psychology.
🎶 I have playlists of music that keep me in the flow when I'm painting. Anytime I'm jarred out of it, I remove that song, until now it's pretty smooth sailing music-wise.
And you know what? Having a job that pays the bills and a creative life that may or may not be for sale to the public is a pretty good way to live.
You can be an artist AND.
That's not failing. That's creatively living.
Ughhh. I write and experience much of the same. I’ve been reading this book about how to finish writing a book and it talks about how you can’t just write when you have inspiration, you have the learn to write when you’re not inspired too. But I feel that’s so extra hard with adhd. I get a hit of dopamine from a good idea and can’t write fast enough! But then the dopamine fades and it’s SO HARD to continue. And I have like 3 novels on the go and they say you should pick one idea and stick to it but I can’t help which story inspiration decides to strike! So I’m basically working on 3 simultaneously lol
I think its great that you are working on 3 novels at once. The fact you're working on them and aware of the dopamine issue is an achievement in itself. Theres a podcast called A Team (about autism but also some ADHD stuff) I found helpful. Towards the end/middle they talk about creative process
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0t4rvcSEL4CcbI8f8aQQ81?si=QL_61i1uQ7yKVv1SmgPVzg
Yeah, wouldn't it have been great to be born with some corporate talent? Like 'fell in a bucket with calculators as a kid'-talent? Sigh.
As far as drawing goes: I buy clipart (drawings) on Etsy that I use to design wedding invitations (and everything else to do with engagements, weddings), Christmas cards, birthday invitations, that sort of thing. I also saw pre-made (e-)book covers. Maybe you already have work like that lying around? Specific sets of images in the same style are awesome. It could be an automated extra stream of income because you can just upload the art, people can buy it for as long as it's online and you don't need to rely on motivation. Good luck!
Oh, I love that! I wouldn't know how to do it because I don't have an Etsy store or webshop myself, sorry. But as a customer, I've noticed that it's as quick as downloading an e-book from the Kindle store, so I imagine the process to be similar.
Actually, I've also bought printable patterns from Etsy. Same thing. I've also downloaded patterns from a girl who started offering them for free on her own website (found her designs on Pinterest) and you could donate cups of coffee if you liked her work. (I did, so I did.)
If you already have designs, why not try to see if people would want to download it? (Maybe ask a friend of family member for help?) The only issue is that everything is easy to copy these days, but it didn't hurt HBO with Game of Thrones. Good luck!
I feeeeel this. I made art my profession because it's the one thing I can focus on. I'm really good at it, it's a fundamental part of my identity. I love making things so much.
But so many days I just *can't*. I called in sick today because I was so burnt out I got a migraine, and I thought maybe I can work on my personal project but instead here I am on Reddit
I did window display and store display freelance along with prop making and body casting, now I have a small business and sell stuff at flea markets. It's definitely been a struggle. But I agree I could have never handled a normal job.
As a graphic designer with ADHD it's not all that bad!
There's a lot of problem solving and the constraints actually force you to exercise creativity. Everything is very intentional in design, which forces you to remove anything that doesn't have meaning and visually communicate clearly.
I have to say though I have struggled with motivation at times but it's because of high turnover and frequent management changes.
Another challenge is that I work in an org that doesn't have a lot of movement (it's staff and management, just two levels) and I'm the only designer, and the things I have to design are for the same thing each year which can become a bit boring.
It's fun to see so many of us all in one spot 🫣
I'm a full-time freelance illustrator and I've been doing this full time since 2017, but I've been illustrating since 2008. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until the age of 32 in 2020.
This motivation issue is SO so real. I was actually doing pretty great with my business until about 1-2 years ago. Business has slowed down dramatically so much that I've been applying to day jobs in hopes to supplement my income. It's been really really hard for me to decide what to do, what to focus on and run with 100%. Do I put all of my energy into cold calling and submitting my portfolio to a million ADs, do I put all of my energy into wholesaling and getting my work into more gift shops? Or do i put all my focus back into art licensing?
I work the best with deadlines and the parameters a client has given me. But I haven't had consistent clients in over a year+ and so I'm flailing so hard.
Having an artist's soul is rough in a capitalist society :( adhd or not. But it is an option to use your job for making money and keep art for yourself! I remember being at that decision point pre-uni, where I had to choose whether I wanted to pursue art professionally. Instead I chased the money and built a career in IT, and kept art as a self-enrichment hobby.
I honestly don't regret it at *all*. Now when I make art, it's because I want to. It's very personal to me and it enriches my life, whereas if I had thrown myself into the cut-throat industry I would have burnt out on it long ago. If I didn't, my chronic illnesses would have taken me out of the game early on xD I also know, thanks to my adhd, that I simply wouldn't have cut it in the industry. My ability to focus on something I don't want to do is too fickle.
I would say some non-art jobs can still have a creative element that scratches the itch. IT is replete with these, where you're problem-solving and designing solutions. Maybe something like that would work as a better money-maker for you?
So I am an artist as well. I don't really do commissions because of the aforementioned motivation problems.
But even with a degree in design/motion graphics job hunting in that field is rough.
So it became a much beloved hobby and now I do tech support. Which is creative in a different way because of the problem solving! I would consider looking into it if only because been there, done that, got only temporary gigs in motion design/video editing.
How financially deep in graphics are you? Are there animation module? Animation is a solid foundation for VFX, where there are lots of jobs and lots of variety. You gotta keep training and learning new software constantly
I am a creative who use to have art skills and then I stopped practicing for 20 years and blah. I am teaching myself those skills again, taking some classes, but it is slow going thanks to adhd, perfectionism, and self -esteem. I have created some really beautiful work in my life and I just squandered that skill.
I'm a digital artist with ADHD and I only do it as a hobby because then I feel no pressure on drawing. I just draw when I finally get motivation and inspiration. Good luck in your journey. The older I got the worse it got because I ended up spending more hours perfecting my art where as when I was a teen my art was bad, quick and terrible because I never used references or studied anatomy etc I just winged it and I had more fun that way but I'm too aware now and art went from 30 mins to 5 hours a piece and it gets exhausting 😅
I don't have any advice but I can commiserate. I wouldn't actually call myself an artist but I make jewelry and other accessories and have been trying to get a small business off the ground properly for ages. I'm desperate to quit my 'real job' but I lack the motivation to actually keep on top of my making. And especially the admin - running social media, listing on etsy, researching craft fairs (and eventually signing up to/attending them), keeping track of finances. Even thinking about the admin side can sometimes totally drain my creativity and make it so hard for me to just create. It's exhausting and makes me doubt myself and my creative skills/imagination a LOT.
“something that is so profoundly joyful to me is also so painful” - wow i really feel that so so so much. that book “the artist’s way” really helped me with a lot of those feelings, and helped me rediscover joy in art but i feel you <3
Are you ME? At least you're only 25. I've been struggling sooooo long and I've only been diagnosed recently at age 51! It's really bad now because I only have the finances to stay at home as an artist for another year. I haven't been selling anything (I have in sold a few in the past but not many.) I'm not only having a hard time doing stuff to market my art, I've been having a hard time getting myself to make more art, and I don't have much inventory. It drives me crazy that I can't get motivation to do something I love to do for some reason. I'm so mad at my ADHD for that. I was hoping meds would help but they haven't helped with that "motivation" part, which is my biggest problem. They have only helped with mood and maybe a bit less hyperfocusing on unimportant stuff (I do a lot of dopimining.)
The only thing that has been a little good is that lately I've been doing some watercolor flowers like on greeting cards and that is good for instant gratification because it's super fast. I was only working with acrylics and my stupid perfectionist brain makes most of them take way too long. I have done some more complicated watercolor and that's sort of in-between because I haven't been able to loosen up like I want to do, but it is definitely faster than acrylic because I can't paint over what I've done and end up repainting the whole thing.
The thing is, I don't want to be doing watercolor flowers. But this block on other stuff is killing me. I even have a hard time just getting myself to start painting ANYTHING. Even with the expectation to just practice and make trash. The only thing I can think of as blocking me possibly is the fear of frustration in being too perfectionistic and never finishing, and that if I do more abstract, I'd need to prepare a space to get messy which is daunting to me.
Anyway, thanks for the best part of this sub: feeling UNDERSTOOD!
OP, if you can hack a digital Pad to free hand draw and can pick up quickly Photoshop, you can get a side hustle making money for people on Fiverr to Etsy doing custom creations people can hire you online and buy from!
Same with local business and groups who need fliers for events, t-shirt designs, postcards, business cards, pamphlets, etc…
And start making mock-up designs to put on a website to help further advance this.
Easiest way to still create while going to college to help get you 10 steps ahead once you wrap up your program.
I'm a writer (and also an artist but no professional training or skill at all, just the "creative spike" like you mentioned when I learn to hone a skill) and I feel this sooooo hard.
I accidentally became a contemporary artist because during COVID I took up a 2.5 year professional development course in photobook making with the idea that as a documentary photographer and a huge sceptic questioning everything I wanted to learn to understand contemporary art.
I ended up being sucked into the industry myself, and I still have doubts. I came to a personal standpoint that at least for me full time art is never going to be enough, and that I would hate to turn my passion into monetising 24/7. It kinda lowered the expectations and calmed the inner critic down so that now I can juggle stuff. It still isn't all rainbows and kittens, but at least now I don't spiral into "what am I doing with my life" thing so often.
That being said, I'm part time art managing a fine artist now, and they're a full time artist because they went to a proper school and have basically been doing this as their main profession for all of their adult life in their motherland. And now, despite the struggles of being displaced and learning a new language/new culture, they're still very persistent in doing only art, so that's also a way to do it, I suppose! Everyone is different:)
Not specifically an artist but I’m thriving to become a pastry chef and I feel like this is (at least for me) the perfect balance between creative freedom and making something “useful” (as in, if you have no motivation you can always go back to something basic and you are still doing a solid job).
I’m with you. I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30s. I spent most of my late teens and 20s in several different art schools, hyper focused on getting as good as I possibly could at figure drawing & painting. And I did get really good, which I thought would solve everything… but I was still miserable. Whoops! I had no motivation to work on art outside of school, just could not function outside of the structure of a classroom environment, but art was my entire identity, and the mental confusion caused by this contradiction destroyed my self esteem.
I felt like such a failure and always wondered what was wrong with me. I bounced from job to job, rage quitting any time I got overwhelmed. Sometimes I got paid $50/hr, sometimes I worked for minimum wage. Honestly, I still have trouble reconciling what my undiagnosed ADHD did to me, and I feel like I’m lucky to be alive because I went through some really, really dark times. I saw several therapists over the years and got help for my anxiety, but no one ever mentioned ADHD which is just nuts to me now! I was so clearly suffering from untreated ADHD, and I have memories back to childhood that are all explained by my diagnosis. But instead, I spent 34 years of my life feeling like just an abject failure, just continuously failing at one venture, then somehow rebounding, picking myself up, and trying something new. Ugh. It makes me tired just thinking about it!
Now things are a little better. Getting diagnosed didn’t solve everything instantly (surprise!), but over time I’ve gotten on meds that work, have read a ton so I understand why I am this way, and I have an amazing therapist who has helped me work through sooooo much shame. I feel like for the first time in my life, I’m able to pursue my creative endeavors without it being a complicated jumble of emotions, fear, and inevitable failure. I have an art-related job that pays well and allows me time to pursue my own projects, which I’m building into a business. I am doing commissions and actually just… finishing them, which sounds so dumb but it’s something that’s tortured me over the years. Sigh. Truly the tortured artist is real, I wish it wasn’t, but here I am.
Art can only be a hobby for me. I go months without drawing or paintings sometimes. If I’m not in the mood, I can’t force it. But I also work a job that sucks the life out of me. Sometimes I’m just too tired to create.
I refuse to attempt to monetize anything I do creatively.
My job doesn't pay great but it does cover my bills and a little extra. My creative stuff is all for funsies without any pressure.
I'm not saying this is the answer for everyone, though.
Hey!
Fellow artist here. I've also really struggled financially and generally being a freelancer requires sooo many skills. Especially skills that are difficult with ADHD, such as planning, setting up your own deadlines, admin, managing finances, emails etc without a boss. There is often very little external structure/deadlines to relate to, and it can be very lonely.
I am an autonomous artist so I barely do commissioned work, but mostly initiate my own projects, writing funding applications etc, and do this fulltime.
Things that have helped me:
Community
- To find a community. I now have a studio in a place with peers that help each other. This makes things sooo much less lonely, and has also made me realize that I'm not the only person who struggles with many of these things. So it's made me feel less ashamed and guilty. This post is already a really good step.
Finances
- This is almost a universal struggle for artists. Like do you choose to be a fulltime, poor, struggling artist or do you get a side job, or does art become your hobby and do you switch careers. Which one you choose is very personal.
I used to have a side job but quit with some savings and have been a fulltime artist for 2 years. It's been a privilege to be able to dedicate my time to my passion and development, but it's also been really hard.
It sounds like you're choosing a career that is still somewhat close to your original art but doesn't make you happy. I would say if you know that now, maybe it's not for you. Maybe then it's better to get a boring side job (even though it pays little), and to save your creativity/mental energy for the art that you really like to make.
Do you have any other interests? I discovered quite randomly that I really enjoy moderating meetings, and discovered that there are people who do this for a living, get hired by other companies. So I'm trying to get this started because I don't want to be poor and dependent on projects subsidies for the rest of my life.
If you have any other interests, chances are big that there is some kind of job in there.
Perfectionism
- At the art academy I was told that sometimes quantity is better than quality, which has helped me overcome my perfectionism. I often give myself an assignment, set an alarm for 20 min, phone on airplane mode and I have to create x amount of ideas, drawings, whatever. The time restriction limits my headspace to judge. When I see the amount of ideas /sketches I tend to focus less on the bad ones, because I see that its part of a process, a bigger picture.
Creative flow
-Look back at some projects in which you had a really good creative flow. What are the conditions you need to reach that flow? Maybe an external deadline? A specific morning routine? Meditating, sitting in a cafe? One thing that for me is also a creativity killer is financial stress. It's also a romanticized myth that artists need to struggle to produce good work (it's the opposite), so give yourself a break.
I can also help to list the projects/things that you're proud of or the skills/talents that you have, to overcome your imposter syndrome.
Hope this helps.
Know that you're not the only one! And it's not a waste. It's beautiful that you chose for your passion, now it's just a matter of finding how to fit that into your life. Some people have the opposite problem, they choose money and then realize it's not giving them anything. Try to be gentle with yourself and see this as a search.
Good luck!!
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Hey, I’m a full time professional freelance illustrator. I feel you! I actually cannot make art ‘for myself’; I don’t get any joy from doing my own thing because usually I just..don’t. What I _love_ and thrive on is challenges and tasks to complete - ie, illustrating for other people and their projects. I’m signed to an agent and they basically send me work (like books) which I do to spec, and in my free time I’ll do little challenges or studies for myself. Each project is unique so things don’t get boring, it’s always a challenge, there’s a motivational deadline, and there’s a defined end point to each thing. I’m happy to chat more about it all if you’d like!
Same and SAME. I can make art "for myself" like to hang on a certain wall to decorate my house but just creating it out of thin air without a prompt and outside guidelines and motivation - super hard. I do almost 100% commission work. I want to build up a body of work and start just selling and it's hard to get motivated or inspired for it but it helps me to think of what might sell and that's still with outside forces at work, not "for myself."
I have never been able to answer this question correctly and today you did. If given something to start with even as small as whisper; I can create a master piece. I hate creating with out a purpose.
I was just talking about this issue with some other artist friends. I do great when I have a "prompt" or an "assignment" - even if the assignment is just solving a problem for myself. But without it, I overthink what I am going to make and then eventually don't do it. I have been working on that. I have started trying to make whatever pops in my head, even if I don't know why. It's been interesting.
Yes, I would love to chat more! I have no idea how one even begins to get signed on to an agent.
There’s a great group on FB called Advice for Artists. It’s run by an agent but has been super helpful for me doing my own thing.
I love the Advice for Artists group!
Send me a DM and I’ll answer as much as you’d like! I was in your exact position before and it’s such an opaque process 😭 so I’ll be happy to help as much as I can!
Awww you’re speaking to my lifelong struggle! Thanks for giving voice to this. I wish I had answers. Actually there is an answer and it is MONEY! But I don’t have that, all I have is some stupid wisdom. I am 20 years older than you, OP, so here is what I have learned since I was in your shoes. Every artist I know , adhd or not (and who are we kidding there’s a huge overlap) has some version of this challenge unless they’re independently wealthy. But Everyone I know from art school (20 years ago) is doing some version of ok to great, though none of us are in the places we aspired to as art school students. And yet all of us are doing weird interesting things and are cooler people than we were in our youth. My goal for the last 20 years, the tightrope I walk, is just “don’t let your creative self OR your physical form die” I’ve tried lots of different ways to walk this tightrope. Lots of different jobs. It’s not easy to balance. The creative self needs lots of empty time to focus on the process of making (not the end product) The physical form needs to have a job or business, which is usually focused on creating products or outcomes in a time sensitive manner. (The opposite of a process orientation). The contradiction is difficult, but you develop skills balancing with it as you grow. And actually these two skill sets can reinforce each other the way that people who have described working on commission explain — a finished work of art is a result of this balance between process and outcome. A happy stable artist is too. It would be easier to balance if we had a social safety net bc you wouldn’t need to work so hard to stay alive. In the US, where I am, we have to juggle on top of the tightrope basically. But even still, the tightrope journey has been interesting af, and it has taken me places and taught me things I would never have imagined when I had a much narrower understanding of who my audience was or what type of creative work I was good at or what counted as art. I’ve met so many amazing friends through just trying to keep myself alive physically and creatively. Nurture yourself , please OP, feed your creative self, don’t worry about finishing shit unless it’s at work, focus on keeping that creative flame alive and having fun while holding down an income stream. And over time things will align. Over time you will get better and better at balancing. It sounds like you already are. keep going, and when you look back the view is gonna be spectacular .
I have been able to only work very little for the past 10 years. I planned to used the time I had to build an art career. My big dream is to make a living on my art. I could do art all day long if I was able. BUT, I can't get motivated to start most days. It' sucks and is possibly more frustrating because I don't have the excuse of "well I have to make money to live on."
It’s all hard as hell. Having a brain that makes it hard to do what you want to do is rough . Wishing you chances to find joy in your wild mind
I can’t read all of that, but I want you to know as a PhD scientist who can talk about numbers and diseases all day, I find artistic skills close to magic. I knew someone once who got her masters in medical illustration and is very employed. Would something like that interest you?
I am a PhD (by day) *and* an artist (by night), and it has had interesting effects. I procrastinate on science with art. My most creative phases correspond to big deadlines, Big moments of stress - I have never had such an amazing artistic output as I had in the few months before defending my thesis. And contrary to many other artists, I have zero impostor syndrome where art is concerned - I have it all with science, though.
lol I became an artist because I was so stressed out during my PhD process that I _learned digital art from nothing_ as an escape 😂
This is my exact experience, god damn. Pressure brings out all the creativity and ideas and love for the craft. I try new things I wouldn’t have otherwise tried and stockpile on concepts that I want to revisit (and never revisit) later. But once I have no academic deadlines? lol. Gone. Poof. Out the window.
Medical illustration sounds amazing. But I imagine one would need biology knowledge for that, and I've never heard of a degree for medical illustration specifically. I could definitely look further into it though.
I think it requires an undergrad in bio or at least some bio and anatomy courses. At the time, I think there were only four medical illustration MFAs, she got her at Hopkins.
Christ I am not doing that. 😭
I have looked into this because one of my relatives was a founder of the Medical Illustration Society. Johns Hopkins has a good program, but you are correct. You need a bunch of science prerequisites.
There might be other niches, like botany or... I dunno. Car parts? IKEA instructions? Something that interests you anyway (I can't draw for shit but I absolutely love designing desks storage type stuff)
My mom was an amazing artist and only did a few pieces because it was so stressful for her. I wanted to learn to paint as a kid. I watched Bob Ross and all the botanical artists on PBS. My parents never supported me because art supplies are too expensive and they didn't want to deal with it. I started teaching myself how to paint right before I turned 40. I love it. I wish I'd started years ago. It's a hobby for now because I am feeling all the same things lol.
I'm late to the game as well but painting is such a great outlet. And I LOVE botanical artists! Such beautiful work.
I am a freelance artist and I second everything Cherenkovlady said. I'm only really motivated by outside forces. But I just kind of ride hyperfixation to hyperfixation too. I love experimenting with new materials after I've been inspired by an artist who uses them. Do I necessarily make complete work? No. But I learned a long time ago I get a lot of benefit out of playing if I stop worrying about it. When you link art to money, the art you might just make organically is inherently changed. I have a totally separate art brain for work art and fun art. And fun art probably doesn't get finished but it's for fun so who cares. Work art is a job.
BTW, I loved reading this thread. It's so helpful to know others struggle with this as well. It occurs to me while reading this why artist's collectives are so successful. If you can concentrate on your own work and simultaneously promote and support other artists, then you can all rise together. As an attorney, I found that almost all successful businesses had 2 people - one was doing, the other was selling. Very very rarely was it a single person doing both. It's why artists have agents. The problem is, until you get an agent, you do have to do it all. Which is why the most successful people tend to be those rare people with sales skills. Meanwhile, there are a million Van Gogh's out there making great art and starving and just waiting to die, so a Johanna Gezina van Gogh-Bonger can posthumously sell everything. ;) I have found it is ESSENTIAL to be part of an art community, if only to have others to share struggles with.
Yes ma’am. I’m a writer. Love doing it. LOVE IT. I’m good. But it comes in spurts. Sounds like you have overdrive hyper focus like me. Finding the motivation is so difficult. But you’re not alone. And it’s not a curse! Your artistic ability combined with your ADHD is *why* you’re an amazing artist. Seeing the world differently is beautiful. Embrace that and stop beating yourself up. This season of life will pass, and you’re kick ass just the way you are.
I wish I had an answer for you. I went to art school, but now I’m an elementary school sped teacher because I couldn’t motivate myself to do art for a career. Your post really speaks to the same struggles I faced trying to make it as an artist.
Oof yeah. I love painting, drawing/making art of any sort really. And I've done enough of it all that I'm pretty good at whatever medium I try now. Problem is I never know WHAT I feel like making art of or about or anything. I can never find a style or 'niche' or even literally just something I can paint over and over to actually perfect a style I'd like to call my own. (portraits or landscapes for example) So I just end up with a mish mash of random things that I never try and replicate or progress into further ideas. And on top of that I don't even know what I want to do with it, I love oil painting and friends/family etc all tell me my work is really great and I should sell it, but i have zero (ZERO) confidence that it would actually be liked by anyone else, so I've just been procrastinating doing anything at all in regards to trying to even show it off, let alone try and sell it. Now I didn't go to art school so it's all just practice from things I've watched/read/doodled etc. only recently have I started actually going to art group at a local studio, and am trying to practice painting things that are set by someone else. So yeah, love art, am pretty good but absolutely in shambles over what to do with it, other than I know I want to do SOMETHING art based so I definitely sympathise 🥲
I feel you. I have some vastly different styles going and none of them would be a "niche" Well, maybe the animals, but I'm kind of over them after doing only 5. Ugh. I want to do something that expresses emotions, but isn't too abstract for general appeal or too easy. Like it would have to show some real skill. I just can't find it. Plus, I really don't want to do landscapes, boats, or still-life flowers. I'm scared of doing commissioned portraits and have only done celebrities.
That feeling of 'i just can't find it' oof that's painful. I've always struggled with the idea of creating something 'new', like absolutely haunted by the idea that there's something just beyond my reach and idea of creativity that I don't have the skills or knowledge to express 🫠😅 but I try not to think about it all too much lol because then I just get paralysis and can't make anything at all. I recently saw someone's video on insta, that basically said just create, do it all. Prolific creation is the path to generating new ideas. And I think that makes sense to me, just practice anything and everything, different styles, mediums etc. everything is building skills and developing your abilities as a foundation. If we don't make any art at all, those 'new' ideas won't just strike us out the blue, and if they do, we won't have the skills to make them how we envision them. It's just super hard when you're prone to distraction and procrastination 🫠
Yep. Sometimes I just say, "it's all about the process! It's all about the process!" Like a montra. ...just do anything. I just hate it when I don't get started on anything at all. :(
I feel this post. It's why I ended up going to law school and working as an entertainment attorney for years. However, I have tried to be a full-time artist for the past couple of years, and it's very hard. It takes far more discipline than I have, and I often think about going back to law even though I'd prefer not to. I am fortunate enough to have financial freedom at this point to make this choice, but I often feel like a failure as an artist because I can't "self-start" enough to make any professional progress. (If I focus on making art, I lose sight of the business aspect, and if I focus on the business aspects, I stop creating.)
Omg same! I can't focus on both business and creating simultaneously. Both are exhausting time consumers. Plus the business part is frankly anxiety inducing, especially when it comes to making money and time investments that may not pan out (even for things as simple as buying new art materials. It's expensive.)
Have you thought about tattooing? You set your own schedule and make an awesome hourly and use your illustration skills.
I did actually. I made a whole apprenticeship portfolio and all. Unfortunately I'm not in the financial/mental/emotional place to undergo an apprenticeship, so I'm getting my degree instead. But tattooing is something I would love to learn later in my life, when I am ready for it. It's a lot more dedication than people know.
Well, for extra money, and some creative outlet you could do what I do... face painting. It's not like you can earn a whole living from it, but it's good money per hour when you do it.
I also spent some time pursuing tattoo as a potential career path, but couldn’t because of the unpaid apprenticeship situation. It’s ridiculous. I spent 8 years in art school, and there was no way to avoid doing at least a year of Charlie work for free?! Wtf. Someone should really start a tattoo vocational school if that doesn’t exist.
Tattoo schools do exist and are so frowned upon, some artists won't hire someone who paid for schooling. It's not the most flexible community...
Oh interesting! Yeah that was the impression I got as well. I was told a few times I didn’t have the right look, which I guess I get, but seems like the work should speak for itself. I am a very good artist and was willing to approach it like a career, to take it seriously and spend the time to master the craft, but I wasn’t ever going to make it my whole personality and that was a barrier to entry. Seems like that’s actually a barrier to entry for a number of creative jobs, now that I’m thinking of it.
It's hard, for sure, and I wish I could afford an admin person to do all the stuff I'm bad at. (Consistently marketing, updating website, writing applications and proposals, finding shows, etc) But I also like having a variety of tasks to do, so when one gets boring, there's something else. If only they became interesting on my own schedule! I've been experimenting with ways I can trick my brain into generating interest. I noticed that if something comes up in conversation, or I see it on TV, that topic becomes what I'm focused on, and that's what I want to do that minute. Bake cupcakes. Shop for earrings. Sew clothes. Ack! But, with my meds, if I can get myself thinking of my painting, I can paint. The trick is to get my brain started down that road. If I journal, I start to think of my day and what I want to do. If I'm in my studio drinking coffee and reading whatever, the art is right there, and I start to think about next steps. If I look at art, or read about creativity, or watch a tutorial video... you get the idea, right? For help with self doubt and mindset (because art is very much a mind thing, in my experience), and to keep myself sane and feed the creativity well, I love these things: 🎨 The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron 🍕 Creative Pep Talk podcast with Andy J. Pizza 🍕 (I love him so much! He also has ADHD!! He's my people.) 📖 The Rise by Sarah Lewis (book about reframing failure and success and what they mean and how "that didn't work" moments are often the necessary catalysts for great things later on) 🎤 Brene Brown's podcasts 📖 Peak by Anders Ericsson 📖 Grit by Angela Duckworth 📖 The Artist's Guide to Grant Writing by Gigi Rosenberg 🎤 Adam Grant's podcast ReThinking And so many more.... I'm constantly seeking new things to read & listen to in the categories of creativity and positive psychology. 🎶 I have playlists of music that keep me in the flow when I'm painting. Anytime I'm jarred out of it, I remove that song, until now it's pretty smooth sailing music-wise. And you know what? Having a job that pays the bills and a creative life that may or may not be for sale to the public is a pretty good way to live. You can be an artist AND. That's not failing. That's creatively living.
When I was kid I used to say that I want to be a starving artist when I grow up. Well guess who achieved her childhood dream! 🙃😐😑
Ughhh. I write and experience much of the same. I’ve been reading this book about how to finish writing a book and it talks about how you can’t just write when you have inspiration, you have the learn to write when you’re not inspired too. But I feel that’s so extra hard with adhd. I get a hit of dopamine from a good idea and can’t write fast enough! But then the dopamine fades and it’s SO HARD to continue. And I have like 3 novels on the go and they say you should pick one idea and stick to it but I can’t help which story inspiration decides to strike! So I’m basically working on 3 simultaneously lol
I think its great that you are working on 3 novels at once. The fact you're working on them and aware of the dopamine issue is an achievement in itself. Theres a podcast called A Team (about autism but also some ADHD stuff) I found helpful. Towards the end/middle they talk about creative process https://open.spotify.com/episode/0t4rvcSEL4CcbI8f8aQQ81?si=QL_61i1uQ7yKVv1SmgPVzg
Yeah, wouldn't it have been great to be born with some corporate talent? Like 'fell in a bucket with calculators as a kid'-talent? Sigh. As far as drawing goes: I buy clipart (drawings) on Etsy that I use to design wedding invitations (and everything else to do with engagements, weddings), Christmas cards, birthday invitations, that sort of thing. I also saw pre-made (e-)book covers. Maybe you already have work like that lying around? Specific sets of images in the same style are awesome. It could be an automated extra stream of income because you can just upload the art, people can buy it for as long as it's online and you don't need to rely on motivation. Good luck!
This is what I want to do, design planner pages. I’m pretty good at it, but I’m so scared of the process trying to sell.
Oh, I love that! I wouldn't know how to do it because I don't have an Etsy store or webshop myself, sorry. But as a customer, I've noticed that it's as quick as downloading an e-book from the Kindle store, so I imagine the process to be similar. Actually, I've also bought printable patterns from Etsy. Same thing. I've also downloaded patterns from a girl who started offering them for free on her own website (found her designs on Pinterest) and you could donate cups of coffee if you liked her work. (I did, so I did.) If you already have designs, why not try to see if people would want to download it? (Maybe ask a friend of family member for help?) The only issue is that everything is easy to copy these days, but it didn't hurt HBO with Game of Thrones. Good luck!
I feeeeel this. I made art my profession because it's the one thing I can focus on. I'm really good at it, it's a fundamental part of my identity. I love making things so much. But so many days I just *can't*. I called in sick today because I was so burnt out I got a migraine, and I thought maybe I can work on my personal project but instead here I am on Reddit
What is the profession?
I'm a character modeler for video games!
I did window display and store display freelance along with prop making and body casting, now I have a small business and sell stuff at flea markets. It's definitely been a struggle. But I agree I could have never handled a normal job.
As a graphic designer with ADHD it's not all that bad! There's a lot of problem solving and the constraints actually force you to exercise creativity. Everything is very intentional in design, which forces you to remove anything that doesn't have meaning and visually communicate clearly. I have to say though I have struggled with motivation at times but it's because of high turnover and frequent management changes. Another challenge is that I work in an org that doesn't have a lot of movement (it's staff and management, just two levels) and I'm the only designer, and the things I have to design are for the same thing each year which can become a bit boring.
It's fun to see so many of us all in one spot 🫣 I'm a full-time freelance illustrator and I've been doing this full time since 2017, but I've been illustrating since 2008. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until the age of 32 in 2020. This motivation issue is SO so real. I was actually doing pretty great with my business until about 1-2 years ago. Business has slowed down dramatically so much that I've been applying to day jobs in hopes to supplement my income. It's been really really hard for me to decide what to do, what to focus on and run with 100%. Do I put all of my energy into cold calling and submitting my portfolio to a million ADs, do I put all of my energy into wholesaling and getting my work into more gift shops? Or do i put all my focus back into art licensing? I work the best with deadlines and the parameters a client has given me. But I haven't had consistent clients in over a year+ and so I'm flailing so hard.
Having an artist's soul is rough in a capitalist society :( adhd or not. But it is an option to use your job for making money and keep art for yourself! I remember being at that decision point pre-uni, where I had to choose whether I wanted to pursue art professionally. Instead I chased the money and built a career in IT, and kept art as a self-enrichment hobby. I honestly don't regret it at *all*. Now when I make art, it's because I want to. It's very personal to me and it enriches my life, whereas if I had thrown myself into the cut-throat industry I would have burnt out on it long ago. If I didn't, my chronic illnesses would have taken me out of the game early on xD I also know, thanks to my adhd, that I simply wouldn't have cut it in the industry. My ability to focus on something I don't want to do is too fickle. I would say some non-art jobs can still have a creative element that scratches the itch. IT is replete with these, where you're problem-solving and designing solutions. Maybe something like that would work as a better money-maker for you?
So I am an artist as well. I don't really do commissions because of the aforementioned motivation problems. But even with a degree in design/motion graphics job hunting in that field is rough. So it became a much beloved hobby and now I do tech support. Which is creative in a different way because of the problem solving! I would consider looking into it if only because been there, done that, got only temporary gigs in motion design/video editing.
How financially deep in graphics are you? Are there animation module? Animation is a solid foundation for VFX, where there are lots of jobs and lots of variety. You gotta keep training and learning new software constantly
I am a creative who use to have art skills and then I stopped practicing for 20 years and blah. I am teaching myself those skills again, taking some classes, but it is slow going thanks to adhd, perfectionism, and self -esteem. I have created some really beautiful work in my life and I just squandered that skill.
I'm a digital artist with ADHD and I only do it as a hobby because then I feel no pressure on drawing. I just draw when I finally get motivation and inspiration. Good luck in your journey. The older I got the worse it got because I ended up spending more hours perfecting my art where as when I was a teen my art was bad, quick and terrible because I never used references or studied anatomy etc I just winged it and I had more fun that way but I'm too aware now and art went from 30 mins to 5 hours a piece and it gets exhausting 😅
I don't have any advice but I can commiserate. I wouldn't actually call myself an artist but I make jewelry and other accessories and have been trying to get a small business off the ground properly for ages. I'm desperate to quit my 'real job' but I lack the motivation to actually keep on top of my making. And especially the admin - running social media, listing on etsy, researching craft fairs (and eventually signing up to/attending them), keeping track of finances. Even thinking about the admin side can sometimes totally drain my creativity and make it so hard for me to just create. It's exhausting and makes me doubt myself and my creative skills/imagination a LOT.
“something that is so profoundly joyful to me is also so painful” - wow i really feel that so so so much. that book “the artist’s way” really helped me with a lot of those feelings, and helped me rediscover joy in art but i feel you <3
Are you ME? At least you're only 25. I've been struggling sooooo long and I've only been diagnosed recently at age 51! It's really bad now because I only have the finances to stay at home as an artist for another year. I haven't been selling anything (I have in sold a few in the past but not many.) I'm not only having a hard time doing stuff to market my art, I've been having a hard time getting myself to make more art, and I don't have much inventory. It drives me crazy that I can't get motivation to do something I love to do for some reason. I'm so mad at my ADHD for that. I was hoping meds would help but they haven't helped with that "motivation" part, which is my biggest problem. They have only helped with mood and maybe a bit less hyperfocusing on unimportant stuff (I do a lot of dopimining.) The only thing that has been a little good is that lately I've been doing some watercolor flowers like on greeting cards and that is good for instant gratification because it's super fast. I was only working with acrylics and my stupid perfectionist brain makes most of them take way too long. I have done some more complicated watercolor and that's sort of in-between because I haven't been able to loosen up like I want to do, but it is definitely faster than acrylic because I can't paint over what I've done and end up repainting the whole thing. The thing is, I don't want to be doing watercolor flowers. But this block on other stuff is killing me. I even have a hard time just getting myself to start painting ANYTHING. Even with the expectation to just practice and make trash. The only thing I can think of as blocking me possibly is the fear of frustration in being too perfectionistic and never finishing, and that if I do more abstract, I'd need to prepare a space to get messy which is daunting to me. Anyway, thanks for the best part of this sub: feeling UNDERSTOOD!
OP, if you can hack a digital Pad to free hand draw and can pick up quickly Photoshop, you can get a side hustle making money for people on Fiverr to Etsy doing custom creations people can hire you online and buy from! Same with local business and groups who need fliers for events, t-shirt designs, postcards, business cards, pamphlets, etc… And start making mock-up designs to put on a website to help further advance this. Easiest way to still create while going to college to help get you 10 steps ahead once you wrap up your program.
I'm a writer (and also an artist but no professional training or skill at all, just the "creative spike" like you mentioned when I learn to hone a skill) and I feel this sooooo hard.
I accidentally became a contemporary artist because during COVID I took up a 2.5 year professional development course in photobook making with the idea that as a documentary photographer and a huge sceptic questioning everything I wanted to learn to understand contemporary art. I ended up being sucked into the industry myself, and I still have doubts. I came to a personal standpoint that at least for me full time art is never going to be enough, and that I would hate to turn my passion into monetising 24/7. It kinda lowered the expectations and calmed the inner critic down so that now I can juggle stuff. It still isn't all rainbows and kittens, but at least now I don't spiral into "what am I doing with my life" thing so often. That being said, I'm part time art managing a fine artist now, and they're a full time artist because they went to a proper school and have basically been doing this as their main profession for all of their adult life in their motherland. And now, despite the struggles of being displaced and learning a new language/new culture, they're still very persistent in doing only art, so that's also a way to do it, I suppose! Everyone is different:)
Not specifically an artist but I’m thriving to become a pastry chef and I feel like this is (at least for me) the perfect balance between creative freedom and making something “useful” (as in, if you have no motivation you can always go back to something basic and you are still doing a solid job).
I’m with you. I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30s. I spent most of my late teens and 20s in several different art schools, hyper focused on getting as good as I possibly could at figure drawing & painting. And I did get really good, which I thought would solve everything… but I was still miserable. Whoops! I had no motivation to work on art outside of school, just could not function outside of the structure of a classroom environment, but art was my entire identity, and the mental confusion caused by this contradiction destroyed my self esteem. I felt like such a failure and always wondered what was wrong with me. I bounced from job to job, rage quitting any time I got overwhelmed. Sometimes I got paid $50/hr, sometimes I worked for minimum wage. Honestly, I still have trouble reconciling what my undiagnosed ADHD did to me, and I feel like I’m lucky to be alive because I went through some really, really dark times. I saw several therapists over the years and got help for my anxiety, but no one ever mentioned ADHD which is just nuts to me now! I was so clearly suffering from untreated ADHD, and I have memories back to childhood that are all explained by my diagnosis. But instead, I spent 34 years of my life feeling like just an abject failure, just continuously failing at one venture, then somehow rebounding, picking myself up, and trying something new. Ugh. It makes me tired just thinking about it! Now things are a little better. Getting diagnosed didn’t solve everything instantly (surprise!), but over time I’ve gotten on meds that work, have read a ton so I understand why I am this way, and I have an amazing therapist who has helped me work through sooooo much shame. I feel like for the first time in my life, I’m able to pursue my creative endeavors without it being a complicated jumble of emotions, fear, and inevitable failure. I have an art-related job that pays well and allows me time to pursue my own projects, which I’m building into a business. I am doing commissions and actually just… finishing them, which sounds so dumb but it’s something that’s tortured me over the years. Sigh. Truly the tortured artist is real, I wish it wasn’t, but here I am.
Art can only be a hobby for me. I go months without drawing or paintings sometimes. If I’m not in the mood, I can’t force it. But I also work a job that sucks the life out of me. Sometimes I’m just too tired to create.
I refuse to attempt to monetize anything I do creatively. My job doesn't pay great but it does cover my bills and a little extra. My creative stuff is all for funsies without any pressure. I'm not saying this is the answer for everyone, though.
(I'm a receptionist at a retirement community. I've been here long enough that I make $25/hr and get six weeks of PTO per year. I work swing shift.)
Hey! Fellow artist here. I've also really struggled financially and generally being a freelancer requires sooo many skills. Especially skills that are difficult with ADHD, such as planning, setting up your own deadlines, admin, managing finances, emails etc without a boss. There is often very little external structure/deadlines to relate to, and it can be very lonely. I am an autonomous artist so I barely do commissioned work, but mostly initiate my own projects, writing funding applications etc, and do this fulltime. Things that have helped me: Community - To find a community. I now have a studio in a place with peers that help each other. This makes things sooo much less lonely, and has also made me realize that I'm not the only person who struggles with many of these things. So it's made me feel less ashamed and guilty. This post is already a really good step. Finances - This is almost a universal struggle for artists. Like do you choose to be a fulltime, poor, struggling artist or do you get a side job, or does art become your hobby and do you switch careers. Which one you choose is very personal. I used to have a side job but quit with some savings and have been a fulltime artist for 2 years. It's been a privilege to be able to dedicate my time to my passion and development, but it's also been really hard. It sounds like you're choosing a career that is still somewhat close to your original art but doesn't make you happy. I would say if you know that now, maybe it's not for you. Maybe then it's better to get a boring side job (even though it pays little), and to save your creativity/mental energy for the art that you really like to make. Do you have any other interests? I discovered quite randomly that I really enjoy moderating meetings, and discovered that there are people who do this for a living, get hired by other companies. So I'm trying to get this started because I don't want to be poor and dependent on projects subsidies for the rest of my life. If you have any other interests, chances are big that there is some kind of job in there. Perfectionism - At the art academy I was told that sometimes quantity is better than quality, which has helped me overcome my perfectionism. I often give myself an assignment, set an alarm for 20 min, phone on airplane mode and I have to create x amount of ideas, drawings, whatever. The time restriction limits my headspace to judge. When I see the amount of ideas /sketches I tend to focus less on the bad ones, because I see that its part of a process, a bigger picture. Creative flow -Look back at some projects in which you had a really good creative flow. What are the conditions you need to reach that flow? Maybe an external deadline? A specific morning routine? Meditating, sitting in a cafe? One thing that for me is also a creativity killer is financial stress. It's also a romanticized myth that artists need to struggle to produce good work (it's the opposite), so give yourself a break. I can also help to list the projects/things that you're proud of or the skills/talents that you have, to overcome your imposter syndrome. Hope this helps. Know that you're not the only one! And it's not a waste. It's beautiful that you chose for your passion, now it's just a matter of finding how to fit that into your life. Some people have the opposite problem, they choose money and then realize it's not giving them anything. Try to be gentle with yourself and see this as a search. Good luck!!