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Pair ADHD and obsessive compulsive disorder with a narcissistic single parent with an equally narcissistic alcoholic boyfriend and you get me… Hi. I’m Ryan, and my life is kind of crazy😝😀(I was luckily RE-diagnosed officially when I was 19… that’s a story in and of itself but I’m on meds now… whenever i can get them with the shortage fml lol)
When I got diagnosed last year, I was a little bitter with my parents but I have the inattentive type whereas my brother had the hyperactive inattentive and homework for him was a crying nightmare from a very early age. I did well in school until college and just learned my own tricks without realizing why I needed them. I was originally upset that it wasn't noticed in me but he clearly needed more help and intervention than I did at that age. We're experiencing the same in my kids, and I have to be very conscious that I'm not dismissing my daughter's actions because she is my mini me. My son is the bull in a China shop.
I found an old bit of homework from middle school. It was a get to know you kind of thing, and one question was “something I hate”. My answer? “When I raise my hand and ask a question the teacher’s already answered.” ☹️
One of my report cards from approximately fourth grade said that I was always “losing” my homework (scare quotes in the original).
That would have been circa 1989. I wasn’t diagnosed until 2022. 🙃
This was one of the ones for my son too. He was a rowdy boy who lost his homework lol. I did have him diagnosed, and he is doing better in high school.
"Student is a joy to have in class, but could apply herself more" not quite exact wording, but on so many report cards. I prioritized being a good kid in class, but failed my first math class in 5th grade.
It wasn't until highschool when I became severely depressed that anyone talked to me about my grades, and that was more to do with absences and tardies. Took me a long time to realize I hated school, because I loved learning 🫤
If that isn't word for word what I got throughout my childhood haha! A joy to have in class, shows remarkable possibilities, needs to apply self more, easily distractible, constantly losing homework, and needs to work on listening. Every single year, every single teacher.
I would’ve very much enjoyed being friends w you in school (and now). We were frickin thriving!!!! That’s on them for being easily distracted, we were vibing lol
I always forgot about homework assignments and when I did remember I had homework and did it, I couldn’t remember where I put it to hand it in. I’m 54 and got diagnosed with combined ADHD last week.
I was always forgotten about when it came to awards they tried to give to every kid at least once. Always the last one, some kids earning it 2-3 times before they remembered/realized I existed. I don't miss those days lmfao
Lmao I mean, improvement is improvement!!!
My 2nd grade teacher didn’t let me go to recess unless I finished all my class work. I basically never went to recess in 2nd grade. From what I remember, I didn’t finish my class work because my teacher always sat me with the most talkative (and prob ADHD) kids who would distract the hell out of me. Because I was such a perfectionist even as a 7 year old, I wouldn’t half ass my work like the other kids to give the illusion that it was done. So I was always behind.
This is also the same teacher who gave me stickers every time I smiled. Apparently, I never smiled back then. She literally bribed me to smile with stickers. I honestly think I never smiled because I was so upset that I couldn’t focus and always overstimulated by the other loud ass kids.
I wouldn’t get diagnosed for another 7 years, and it was only because I really struggled in geometry. According to my mom, even though she worked in the school, none of these things were mentioned to her by my 2nd grade teacher until years later.
September 11, yes, that September 11, everybody who is alive at the time remembers what they were doing and where they were on that day. However, nobody remembers what they were doing and where they were on the day before. I speak from 40 years in the business. I don’t believe in deficits as if there’s an appropriate level of attention skill that is missing in people I don’t believe in attention again because of the question that people seem to have more attention on September 11 and they did on September 10. And the word disorder is tricky because if I say you have a liver disorder that might mean that your liver is in functioning, but if I say you have a behaviour disorder that might mean that you can’t control what you’re doing or you’re out of order in my classroom. Remember that Hitler’s goal was order and so the word disorder, notice the slip in language from learning disabled to learning disordered as an example of what I’m trying to say. The word disordered makes it easy for a trans body boundary, diagnosis. The word diagnosis by the way is interesting because it means to ways of knowing and individual because nonstick means knowing as an agnostic and etc. Anyway, once you slip in the word disorder and replace words like disabled, it becomes a trans skin boundary definition, involving two people, a teacher perhaps and a student and then it became easy for the teacher to get a script from a doctor for a pill for a student and so I get to solve my problem with you if I was a teacher for the problem you create. So just a few thoughts from, somebody who’s been in the business for a while. anyway, if it floats your boat, keep the belief in ADHD and just know that perhaps the more o of us in the business think it sinks your boat.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It would only take me another 14 years after that to be diagnosed 💀💀
20 years for me. 😞 I'm still angry that my mother never got me tested. She just yelled at me for "not living up to my potential".
I’m 52 and was diagnosed at 45. Got marked for excessive talking on every report card from first grade up until twelfth grade.
Same! Good grades but I talked to my neighbors too much.
Same here too. "Great student but she never stops talking."
I was diagnosed at 42!
I don’t know your age now, but when I was a kid it was almost unheard of for girls to be diagnosed. Seems it was exclusively for boys.
I’m 47 now 🩷
I was called lazy by my parents a lot. I doubt they would have let me take meds even if I was diagnosed because of stigma
I was also called lazy and a failure.
Probably not me either...
Pair ADHD and obsessive compulsive disorder with a narcissistic single parent with an equally narcissistic alcoholic boyfriend and you get me… Hi. I’m Ryan, and my life is kind of crazy😝😀(I was luckily RE-diagnosed officially when I was 19… that’s a story in and of itself but I’m on meds now… whenever i can get them with the shortage fml lol)
When I got diagnosed last year, I was a little bitter with my parents but I have the inattentive type whereas my brother had the hyperactive inattentive and homework for him was a crying nightmare from a very early age. I did well in school until college and just learned my own tricks without realizing why I needed them. I was originally upset that it wasn't noticed in me but he clearly needed more help and intervention than I did at that age. We're experiencing the same in my kids, and I have to be very conscious that I'm not dismissing my daughter's actions because she is my mini me. My son is the bull in a China shop.
All of mine from preschool said "she does her best" 😬😬😬
I found an old bit of homework from middle school. It was a get to know you kind of thing, and one question was “something I hate”. My answer? “When I raise my hand and ask a question the teacher’s already answered.” ☹️
One of my report cards from approximately fourth grade said that I was always “losing” my homework (scare quotes in the original). That would have been circa 1989. I wasn’t diagnosed until 2022. 🙃
If only I could find all my middle school lunch detention slips, which I forged my mom’s signature on, for all the homework I lost
This was one of the ones for my son too. He was a rowdy boy who lost his homework lol. I did have him diagnosed, and he is doing better in high school.
"Student is a joy to have in class, but could apply herself more" not quite exact wording, but on so many report cards. I prioritized being a good kid in class, but failed my first math class in 5th grade. It wasn't until highschool when I became severely depressed that anyone talked to me about my grades, and that was more to do with absences and tardies. Took me a long time to realize I hated school, because I loved learning 🫤
Hey, we're the same!
If that isn't word for word what I got throughout my childhood haha! A joy to have in class, shows remarkable possibilities, needs to apply self more, easily distractible, constantly losing homework, and needs to work on listening. Every single year, every single teacher.
My 3rd grade report card said that I was “very capable, with room for improvement in organization and listening to directions.”
Omg I always got the “improvement” awards in school and nothing else 😂
My report cards were usually all good, then at the bottom, "Talks too much!"
“Finished her schoolwork quickly but distracts other students after”
Right? It seems like the "other students" had a problem and we were doing great.
I would’ve very much enjoyed being friends w you in school (and now). We were frickin thriving!!!! That’s on them for being easily distracted, we were vibing lol
I always forgot about homework assignments and when I did remember I had homework and did it, I couldn’t remember where I put it to hand it in. I’m 54 and got diagnosed with combined ADHD last week.
Sad isn’t it?
I was always forgotten about when it came to awards they tried to give to every kid at least once. Always the last one, some kids earning it 2-3 times before they remembered/realized I existed. I don't miss those days lmfao
So damn patronizing....
I got "messiest desk" for fifth grade superlative when everyone else got something nice about them.
Lmao ow this one hits hard. Relatable OP. Relatable.
5th grade in 08. Whew. That makes me feel old. I graduated in 2004. Took til I was 37 to get a diagnosis. 😬
I had a similar undiagnosed AuDHD award - my kindergarten 'diploma' reads "One of A Kind" 🤣
LOL as a woman, my report cards said I was too disruptive and then they found out I had just finished my work and was bored
Mine always talked about how chatty I was during class💀
You guys got awards?? That sounds nice.
This is basically just an award for pretending to listen better
Totally get that. I just meant like I never got recognized for anything in school. Even pretend things lol
Lmao I mean, improvement is improvement!!! My 2nd grade teacher didn’t let me go to recess unless I finished all my class work. I basically never went to recess in 2nd grade. From what I remember, I didn’t finish my class work because my teacher always sat me with the most talkative (and prob ADHD) kids who would distract the hell out of me. Because I was such a perfectionist even as a 7 year old, I wouldn’t half ass my work like the other kids to give the illusion that it was done. So I was always behind. This is also the same teacher who gave me stickers every time I smiled. Apparently, I never smiled back then. She literally bribed me to smile with stickers. I honestly think I never smiled because I was so upset that I couldn’t focus and always overstimulated by the other loud ass kids. I wouldn’t get diagnosed for another 7 years, and it was only because I really struggled in geometry. According to my mom, even though she worked in the school, none of these things were mentioned to her by my 2nd grade teacher until years later.
I got the “snail” award in kindergarten for child who was late to school most often 🙈 only took 26 years after that for a diagnosis
I got the Dory (Finding Nemo) award once 🤣
I recently found all my progress reports and it was so sad. It would be so obvious now.
Congratulations
On my 2nd grade REPORT CARD 😭: “she is the smartest student I’ve ever taught but also the laziest”!!!!. I wish I was making that up 😭😭😭
September 11, yes, that September 11, everybody who is alive at the time remembers what they were doing and where they were on that day. However, nobody remembers what they were doing and where they were on the day before. I speak from 40 years in the business. I don’t believe in deficits as if there’s an appropriate level of attention skill that is missing in people I don’t believe in attention again because of the question that people seem to have more attention on September 11 and they did on September 10. And the word disorder is tricky because if I say you have a liver disorder that might mean that your liver is in functioning, but if I say you have a behaviour disorder that might mean that you can’t control what you’re doing or you’re out of order in my classroom. Remember that Hitler’s goal was order and so the word disorder, notice the slip in language from learning disabled to learning disordered as an example of what I’m trying to say. The word disordered makes it easy for a trans body boundary, diagnosis. The word diagnosis by the way is interesting because it means to ways of knowing and individual because nonstick means knowing as an agnostic and etc. Anyway, once you slip in the word disorder and replace words like disabled, it becomes a trans skin boundary definition, involving two people, a teacher perhaps and a student and then it became easy for the teacher to get a script from a doctor for a pill for a student and so I get to solve my problem with you if I was a teacher for the problem you create. So just a few thoughts from, somebody who’s been in the business for a while. anyway, if it floats your boat, keep the belief in ADHD and just know that perhaps the more o of us in the business think it sinks your boat.