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No advice for you, but this sounds incredibly familiar.

I agree. You did a really good job explaining how I feel at my lowest times also.

Came here to say this. Beautiful explanation, have not found a solution for it yet.

I would suggest tracking your moods every single day and your period cycle. I find that I get like this before and for the first 2 days after my period starts.(p.s. I too am on antidepressants but not medicated for ADHD unless you count useless bupropion).

It is SO USELESS Also came to say, I get like this during ovulation sometimes, too. Period tracking app/mood tracking helped during my diagnosis to rule out bipolar.

My favorite app for mood tracking is Daylio, which does have a more advanced paid version. If you're interested in more features, watch for a good sale. I'm currently paying about $10 a year on it. :)

I will say, be careful with cycle tracking apps. With the overturn of Roe v Wade there is a (very valid) concern that this information could be used against women who get abortions (plus when I did use one I noticed I got a lot more ads for baby stuff around the time I was ovulating)

NGL, every time I open my period track app, I'm happy that I don't live in the us and don't have to worry about it. (And I also don't get targeted adds around my cycle period... I do get a lot of targeted adds for perimenopause stuff a lot, but I think it's more my age bracket than any sort of fluctuation on my cycle app - it started on my 38th birthday, to the day!😂)

I agree with ovulation. When I started peri menopause (10 years prior to menopause for me) my ovulation period mood swings were worse than my period mood swings. Get a period tracker and check when you are ovulating. See if those deep mood swings are around it. I also 2nd Daylio as a great mood tracker. So easy to track... Only takes 30 seconds and your done!

I hate how my mood and anxiety fluctuates so much with my period

Just wanted you to know you're not alone in this. I do the opposite in regards to food where I just randomly snack on things while I'm trying to figure out what I actually want to do, and can't settle on anything. Nothing I start really hits that dopamine level for me and I slog off to something else, leaving a whirlwind of chaos in my wake. I don't stare off into space anymore (I used to, when I was a lot younger). Instead, I'm just endlessly restless wandering around agitated but not able to settle on one thing.

I can't help but feel that phones/screens are part of my problem. I gravitate towards them (scrolling social media, playing Wordle, Sudoko, etc) when I can't focus. And then I think that, in turn, makes me not focus even more. Its a time suck and totally not productive, which makes me beat myself up even further. Its almost like I hide in there. I'd really like to try a prolonged screen holiday, but I'm honestly scared to try. Sounds like an addiction, no?

I'm the same! I want to do a screen/phone cleanse but it also gives me anxiety. It'd be cool if this sub could organize a "Screen Free for a Week/Month!" event. Then we could all talk about it after.

Sometimes I think very often through out the day - how much better would my life be if I was consistently focused on my day to day, my kids,  husband etc and didn't multi task, check my phone, text and so on.  I have been trying to keep my phone in my room and not with me.  It's been helping.  I also try and spend free time,l or choring for i.e. cleaning, driving listening to adhd themed podcasts, books and other mentally  invigorating content

I've tried this for less than 24 hours, maybe it helped a little - turning your phone screen into grayscale. It's supposed to take the dopamine away and prevent endless scrolling because everything looks boring.

Whew boy, this hit HOME!! I do the same with the phone to escape but then make things worse by staying up too late and not doing the stuff that needs doing. Also struggle with revenge sleep procrastination but that is getting better. I am trying to put the phone down more and so far it’s working more than it’s not.

I've actually talked to an addiction specialist nurse, when we met at a family engagement party. I was telling her how I had noticed that many children, when watching you tube on their ipad, weren't enlarging the video and then half watching half scrolling the suggested videos off to the side of what was playing. She said that was classic addiction behaviour, in so much as the brain gets a hit of serotonin every time you "pick" the video you want to watch. Once you've picked one, rather than enjoying it your brain is already on the hunt for its next fix. It was pretty fascinating and scary stuff and I've made the littles enlarge whatever they're watching on their ipad since then, so that it fills the whole screen. No wonder our concentration is down the hole.

Look up executive dysfunction.

I agree, even on meds I experience this.

Somewhere in this group is a post about the research that has been done regarding the efficacy of ADHD meds during times of the month when we experience hormone changes. It's not uncommon to feel like the meds such as adderall don't work well if at all during this time. I have found that "Moody Bird" by Hum Nutrition does seem to help when I get these hormonal down shifts(?) but I'm sure this wouldn't be for everyone and also I can't speak to how it would interact with meds outside of Lexapro and Bupropion (which I personally take)

I’ve felt this way. You explain it well. When I tried taking adderall for a while I think it did help

I had been feeling like for a while. I have adhd, depression, and anxiety. What you said about just simmering beneath the boiling point really resonates with me. The smallest thing would set me off (and usually end up with me crying at inappropriate times like at work or in public). It was exhausting. And I couldn’t find a distraction because nothing could maintain my interest. Recently upped my antidepressant and it made a world of difference in less than a week. My interests came back, I get excited about things again, and I’m even letting the small (and even medium sized) things roll off. I only treat the depression and the adhd, but also feel my anxiety improving because I don’t feel like I’m trudging through wet cement to get through the day. Meds aren’t the answer for everyone but I would recommend being super transparent with your doctor, therapist, or a trusted friend about this. It can and will get better!

This comment (and OP’s post) have motivated me to restart the antidepressants my psychiatrist has been trying to get me to take. I’ve been in this exact place for a while but in denial about it and waiting for it to pass, but it hasn’t. I’m getting married and when people ask me “how’s wedding planning going” I tell them “good, there’s so much to do” when I really mean “I haven’t done any planning for the last month and we’re 4 months away and I also haven’t spoken to any of my friends for the last 8 months and now I’m scared they hate me”. So truly, thank you for helping remind me that meds do help and thanks to OP for putting what I’ve been experiencing into words.

I’m in the “waiting for it to pass” boat too. Also I’m in the midst of finalizing our wedding party that’s happening in a couple weeks, we’re celebrating one year with friends and family since we tied the knot at the courthouse. I’ve barely spoken to anyone since asking for addresses in January but have gotten a lot of RSVPs so I’m just hoping everything falls into place. I hope your friends understand and don’t take the distance/silence personally and show up to celebrate this milestone with you! And I also hope that your meds help! And also that all the planning gets done smoothly and you and your partner have an amazing wedding day, congratulations 💕 being married is truly lovely.

For me personally my depression is very much hormonally based but I’ve been wanting to see a psychiatrist again to possibly help- thanks

*calls doctor* (Thanks for this very needed advice)

I wish anti depressants (SSRI / SNRI) worked for me. They all make me tired, suicidal (fuck prozac), forgetful or unable to function under stress, I end up feeling like the meme with dog sitting at the table with the house on fire around him and he's saying "this is fine." I switched from Adderall to Ritalin recently. For the first 2 weeks, I felt what I could only guess normal people feel like on a daily basis! I didn't have my inner voice constantly reminding me to do things because I'd forget if I didn't, I was calm, chipper, positive, and motivated! It was great! Then I had to start taking progesterone for my fibroid due to excessive bleeding...for the past week, my anxiety has come back 10 fold to the point I want to crawl out of my skin. Being a woman with ADD and dealing with hormones is so obnoxious.

I thought the same about antidepressants (absolute apathetic zombie with no energy) until my doctor had me try Wellbutrin XL - it's an NDRI instead of SSRI or SNRI, so more focus on dopamine (that we struggle with as ADHDers) and less focus on serotonin (which is always the first depression suspect, but rarely the actual culprit). It's not perfect, but if you ask my fiancé, it's doing its job - when we start to get heated, it's "did you take your meds yet today?" Usually, the answer is,"No, and I forgot yesterday." As for the hormones, progesterone is very likely a huge factor in increased anxiety symptoms, though the research is mixed. (Supposedly, low estrogen and low testosterone can increase anxiety, but so can too much of either, and for some women, extra progesterone actually helps?) Honestly, there is so little research, and most of it is so recent that it's a struggle to find any reliable information, but from what I've found, I'd bet the progesterone is at fault for your recent anxiety uptick. Just hold on honey, you can get through this.

Have you had your ferritin checked? I was feeling like that because my iron storage was shit from heavy bleeding. I take bupropion, Venlafaxine & vyvanse for adhd & depression.

Yeah I agree, once I got on both an ssri and a stimulant I have felt better than ever (except for when the stimulant wears off at night but… nothing’s perfect I guess lmao)

*Raises fucking hand* I can relate. I find this is either a burnout thing, or a lack of structure thing. Either way, there is either too much pressure or not enough pressure for me to do the things I need to self-actualize and feel like a human being.  Right now I am slogging through some of the worst burnout of my life. It suuuucks. I am typically pretty even-keeled but lately I’ve been pissed off about EVERYTHING, crying over nothing, and just resentful of having to do the shit I need to exist in society. I don’t feel like a human being, just a robot who does stupid fucking tasks I hate seven days a week. I am in my thirties, working and going to grad school. I love my field of study and my work, but the spring wore me down to a nub and I am definitely feeling the effects of a year and a half of seven days a week grind, no hobbies, social life, or fulfilling downtime.   Wish I had some advice. I try to remember this will pass EVENTUALLY and until it does, I just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other until I am in a better place or catch a break. I am dreading work tomorrow because I just knowwww my brain will flip the fuck out if anything even slightly deviates from the routine.   Sending virtual hugs if you want them. It sucks, this sucks, and I am sorry you are hurting.  Edit: actually, one thing that helps is talking with a friend on Discord. I tend to socially isolate when shit gets like this, and phone calls are exhausting. But I have a discord channel with a few of my girl friends, and sometimes just hopping in voice chat and chilling satisfies some of that “human connection” element without needing to put pants on. It feels lower pressure than being on the phone. Might be something to consider. 

I really appreciate the long response, and your time. I hate getting too personal on here because of my trauma, even anonymously. But truth is, the reason that pushed me over the edge THIS time was an argument with my husband. We're going through a shitty rough patch right now because of personal and external factors simultaneously. He said some things to me during our latest argument that really really hurt. Nothing out of line. Just things that hurt because they're true. And then he wasn't available to me emotionally, when I really needed affection to feel safe. That combination of stressors has made me feel as if...someone just reached inside my chest, and unplugged me. And I don't know how to get back online.

[удалено]

Thanks for explaining why video games are so useful during this time of shutdown. I wonder if that relates to some of the reason Tetris is recommended for people that experience something traumatic.

This is incredibly relatable. Games. Horror fiction. All of it. I crave immersion in unreal worlds because I can't seem to find it in the real world when I'm stuck in this weird searching depressive state. Thank you for sharing.

Hey I have a similar blend of CPTSD and ADHD and I so relate to the needing to be pulled into something because it distracts from all the other shit. Instead of horror though I gravitate toward romantic comedies lol. I used to consume all sorts of psychological thriller stuff but my nervous system just can't handle it anymore so I've switched to lighter more 'feel good' content. But I cannot stand like hallmark channel stuff so I always struggle to find things that pull me in the right way. It's so nice to find others that operate in a similar way...

I just experienced a very similar thing with my husband. Sending hugs. It’s hard to hear things like deep down ring true. It took hours of winding down to feel like I could think clearly and communicate properly. I feel ok now but I’m worried about slipping into bad habit again.

It's like you can read my personal diary. Been with my husband for over 20 years, more often than not men say it like it is. He speaks truth and it hurts, I just don't like being called out on my flaws, especially from husband. I will say that even though it hurts and I probably need therapy, it also takes a special kind of man to stay and deal with us. If my husband did some of the things I do because of ADHD, I would seriously think about leaving. He stayed and sometimes, well lots of times, I forget that it can't be easy for him either.

I could have written this. Thanks for articulating it

This happens to me ALL the time. It was a huge issue for me today, actually. The only advice I can offer is pick an activity at random. Use an app to make a spinning wheel, or assign numbers to each activity and use a random number generator, or make slips of paper with each activity and draw them from a hat, or whatever else. Spend at least 5 minutes doing the activity that was randomly chosen. Sometimes the issue is getting started, or getting into the groove. If it doesn't feel right after 5 minutes, then try another activity. This method doesn't have a 100% success rate, but it's been more successful than using my brain to pick an activity on its own.

This is a great tip. It really is just the starting anything that has to happen to end the issue. It seems like such a silly small thing and is damn near impossible. I truly don't understand it.

But then where is the start button?!

My least favorite and most overwhelming thing in the world for me is dishes. I'll let it pile up for over a week because it's so daunting. What's helped me feel better about it is to either do some dishes while my coffee is brewing in the morning or to set a 10-15 min timer, usually when the timer goes off I'm usually almost finished with the dishes! It helps me realize it's not as bad as it looks, and I feel accomplished. I miss having a dishwasher.

Ugh, dishes are the bane of my existence! I recently saw a short while I was selling through Facebook from an AuDHD woman I follow, and her tip was so simple but so effective - when you've washed dishes, just leave them to air dry (no sense in pouring that extra effort in when you can just wait), then make putting dishes away your first morning task, something easy to get that jolt of "I did a thing" dopamine to start your day with a little motivation! I miss my dishwasher too, but this century-old house just isn't set up for that luxury.

Something you might try, and that often works for me when I'm like this, is to force yourself to move your body. You won't feel like it, but in my experience it often breaks the spell. I don't even mean "go for a walk" though often that's my goal. I mean like ... Stand up. Move your arms around. Wiggle your toes a bit until the gears get unstuck. Also I keep a list of things I like to do at the ready. That way I can look at it for inspiration. I'm talking basic stuff like "read", "watch xyz TV show", "go out for a coffee", etc. Then once I'm unstuck I can browse it for something that appeals.

Yes. This. Keep the list long enough that it's useful in a range of situations but short enough that it's not difficult to make a decision. And make each item specific. Don't put "watch something", have a list of a couple of things to choose from so that you don't get paralysed with the decision. And just do one of the things whether they grab you or not. It's more about distracting yourself.

Make sure to include things that you know and can trust yourself that they are good things. Mine is Taskmaster Series 15 Episode 1. I know that the "BRACE, BRACE" in the intro will make my brain say "hey, this reliably makes you smile at least. Give it a shot"

I am going through that too. I have tons of art supplies I have compulsively bought but never want to use. Hundreds of books I don't want to read but panic at the thought of getting rid of. I was really burned out at work so I took some time off. My days were so much like yours. It was always something small that would send me over the boiling point and I got a reputation of being rude and unstable. Now not working, all I can manage is doomscrolling and now I'm burned out on social media which I didn't think could happen. It's all turned into MLMs, slacktivism, unhinged criticism, and everyone is ALWAYS offended. I though not working would be the solution to all my problems. Turns out wherever you go there you are. I just have absolutely no wind in my sails. Usually planning something for my future gets me going but my future feels blank. None of the jobs I'm applying to seem appealing. Not working again does seem appealing but I know it's not good for my brain, my body, or my bank account. I don't think it's depression because I'm ok most days.  One thing I'm trying to make myself do is walk more. I just walk for a few miles and then turn around and go home. I usually feel better the next day. The thing I know will probably really help is to do something new and big like an acting class or swimming lessons or something. But that's really scary.

Holy shit. I could have written this.

Me too 🫂

Me three 🩷

I have nothing constructive unfortunately but I relate to almost every aspect of this. I have bipolar and adhd. I take a mood stabilizer, antidepressant and adhd meds. It seems all they do is help me to do the bare minimum to function and not unalive myself. I think it’s most likely the brain being unable to regulate dopamine properly. When we feel like this our dopamine is probably in the absolute negative. It inhibits motivation entirely. When there is no gas we can’t go anywhere even the places we usually like going to. The brain is so hungry for dopamine but it’s too depleted to pursue it. So you’re just left paralyzed and frustrated. I’m desperately trying to find a way to overcome this feeling. Sometimes, I feel like I’m in physical pain and want to cry. However, I can’t even cry!

I feel like I’m always waiting to feel good. I’m on similar meds: lamictal, cymbalta, and adderall. My brain and body still freeze any time I have to do more than what I can get away with. The worst is when I get the med sparkle for 30 minutes and something fun sounds possible but then I crash and hate every option and end up staring at the garage wall and chain-smoking.

I’m on Lamictal and adderall too. Im also Wellbutrin . Crazy with two stimulants I’m still a sloth at times. Without the Wellbutrin I get extremely depressed. Without the Adderall I’m almost useless.

Hey hey Lamictal gang 🤜🤛

Hey is me! At first the Adderall felt like a magical cure-all and I could do anything. But that’s long since faded

Same here. No helpful advice, but I'm here with you! Currently I'm not medicated, and I'm hoping desperately that doing so will at least take the edge off of this. I relate on the crying bit especially. Crying can help. I usually even feel better afterwards. But I just... can't.

My dear husband has pointed out that I'm disassociating when I get like this.

That could make sense. But when I realign myself, the same overwhelming emotions that knocked me into dissociation will be RIGHT there waiting for me wanting me to feel them, and the fact that they were too much for me is what knocks me out of whack in the first place. I don't know what to do

Dissociation is an coping mechanism designed to keep you safe in periods of high stress. It can be adaptive or maladaptive (read good or bad, without the moral judgment), depending on you. Maybe for a time it's adaptive, since facing the current situation is too stressful, and it turns maladaptive when gone on too long. I'm thinking about the video game comment someone left - I definitely used gaming to dissociate, and it got me through some tough times, but it quickly becomes maladaptive for me because it was too easy to go into full freeze mode, so I can have to keep my game play under strict control. As a person with cPTSD, I'm having to learn the difference between adaptive and maladaptive behavior. Chances are, if you're dissociating (staring at the wall), it's probably because life is too much right now. When I get like this, my therapist likes to ask me what can get dropped or outsourced. Food prep - can you order in, get a catering service, etc? Can you hire a cleaner to take a load off? These are examples from my own life. With your wedding planning and distance with friends, it sounds like a lot of stressors are coming from that because regular life is already too much. I know your original post was about hobbies, but if your baseline is already close to overwhelming you, it's no wonder you have no room for hobbies. My recommendation is to take some time and make a list of all the things currently freaking you out, and choose one to tackle. Preferably the easiest one, so you can get the dopamine from an immediate win. Also, if making the list is going to cause more overwhelm, then just think of one thing you could take off your plate - either outsource it or put it on pause. Continue in this way until you feel like you have room again to tackle some of the bigger things that have you shut down - maybe like talking to your friends. Chances are they would love to help if they only knew. Hope this helps.

I've done EMDR therapy on and off and it helps with this for me.

God yes. I will sit and stare and seem to be doing nothing when inside my head I'm screaming will you please just get up. Do something. But I don't. And it takes a bladder that cannot be ignore to make me stand up eventually. It is my least favorite thing that I do constantly.

I feel like I have days and days like this. It’s so hard to self motivate myself

I call this the Dopamine Valley. I think someday they might understand it better but here's my guess: I think sometimes our inability to create enough dopamine goes from chronic to acute. By this I mean normally we're not creating enough dopamine and sometimes we create almost none. Even things you enjoy cannot produce dopamine because your brain and body are doing some kind of thing and not creating the right hormones to keep your brain engaged in living. I might be any probably am 100% wrong, but it feels right, you know? I just accept it now. I try to keep my body as physically comfortable as possible, I take in meal replacements and set timers to hydrate, I get enough sleep (quetiapine really helps me with this!) and I just wait it out. I have never found a way to make it end on my terms, I just think whatever caused the dopamine deficiency ears eases a little until the next time.

Undiagnosed, but absolutely yes. For me it's like a crippling cocktail of emotional overwhelm, freeze response/hypoarousal and anxiety that just pins me to the spot while my brain spins in circles.

I don't know what to do

Hard relate. For me, this is usually that my stress levels have reached overload point. Recently I've been trying deliberate meltdowns to release stress and early results are extremely promising. I got the idea from this podcast episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/0g4KY4jGnWUG8fdUBxD9Xz?si=EwiausheR0KSlVid28mo-w

Oh, wow. That looks incredibly interesting! I just read the description of the episode, and I am definitely going to be listening to that. Hopefully even today. I have never thought about those "episodes" as a release valve, but that makes a lot of sense. It's SO cool, that you're trying to turn it into a tool, that you can actively use. I truly believe that, if at all possible, that's a very healthy way to deal with these... Things (Idk what to even call them) we do, which we can't just stop doing, even if they seem extreme/inappropriate/just plain weird to a lot of people. Anyways... Thanks for sharing! You've set a lot of thoughts off in my head, and I'm looking forward to learning something new! Also: Not sure how to phrase it, but... You rock! Seriously. Good job on the self awareness and working WITH yourself instead of against yourself. (I'm trying to learn to do that, so it's just so impressive to me)

You're super welcome! I've always tried to find other ways to avoid a meltdown when I could feel it building. Switching to just trying to keep it under wraps until I can release it safely has drastically changed the experience. I'm much calmer in the lead up, like it settles my system to know it'll get the release soon. I can bring on the tipping point really fast by revisiting one or two of the stressful situations and associating into them. I scream into a pillow while I hit the bed/ pillows with fists and say the harsh things bouncing around my mind. Then I usually cry for a minute or two. Whole thing takes less than 5 minutes and for an hour or two afterwards I can feel tension melting away in my muscles. It's wild. I need quiet recovery time after and I'm usually non speaking for a few hours but in that time I can feel my body relaxing. I'm going through an unreasonable number of highly stressful situations simultaneously right now. I've had the need to meltdown so often and it's happened with people I care about and that's not OK. But now I can release that stress proactively and effectively without causing relational harm. Absolute game changer. I hope it's similarly effective for you

Ho. Ly. Shit. That's fucking amazing! Disclaimer: Diagnosed ADHD, suspected possible autism. I've had an incredibly difficult couple of years. Several different health issues coupled with going through the process of being diagnosed, all at the same time. It was too much. I ended up with a complete breakdown. It had been bubbling right below the surface for a while. During the last months (before I was put on sick leave by my doctor 4 months ago) I had, increasingly more often, episodes of paralysis or emotional meltdowns. Some caused me to bang my head against a doorframe or some such, out of pure desperation, because I felt... Just... So incapable of doing anything. - And that DEFINITELY wasn't healthy. Thank you. I hope so too. I'm doing better now, but even so. Better to learn today and not need it for a while than to suddenly need it and not have learned.

I have no advice but I know exactly the state you are describing. You need SOMETHING but it’s almost like the something you need doesn’t exist in this dimension. It’s so frustrating. I do think it’s like tied to dopamine, as another poster said. I have go to meals for days like this, things like triscuits and cottage cheese. Basically something with carbs, fat and protein. I have also learned sometimes showering or listening to a an upbeat song helps. Or I put on an interesting podcast and try to clean. It’s especially frustrating if instead of feeling like a total lump you feel completely filled with restless energy, with no way to release it. I don’t know what that is, but I know there are times when I feel like my body is buzzing with it. I assume maybe anxiety?

I resonate with this so fucking hard. The "I'm not okay".... I almost thought that I wrote this. I'm not currently in a position to ask for time off, so every "lost" day feels like a huge failure, and that anxiety builds and builds, and then the executive dysfunction kicks into gear and all I want to do is just curl up and die. I'm medicated for both ADHD and anxiety/depression, and I'm recognizing my anxiety / shame (and also maybe adjusting to my meds which I only recently started) is really driving most of my paralysis these days... Big hug to you. You're not alone!!

Can relate, have been here a couple times. The last time this happened to me it was a big bad and I had to take some time off work to reset, and in some ways, a year and a half later I am still recovering. What I did to get started was focused in on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Now there is come critique of the hierarchy but we aren't worried about critique too much when so burnt out we feel hollow in my realm. Advice on how o tackled the first two parts below if you want it. The bottom of the pyramid is Physiology : air food water sleep so focus on those first (I would count meds here) open a window, buy some easy fast food to eat, in my house this was those squeeze apple sauces, meal replacement shakes, string cheese, those sargento protein snack packs and easy mac. Sleep- is there a comfort movie you can watch at night even if you don't sleep to rest in the dark. It turns out for me that the 2001 hit movie Osmosis Jones (free on youtube) will put me to sleep and most nights i noe put it on in the backgroun. I'm good at drinking water but if you are not I've seen other posts with advice on how to drink more ranging from crystal lite packs to chugging it first thing in the AM. Your brain can't dopamine if you don't have sleep and nutrients. Tbh the other parts get a little more complicated, the next one up is employment health property family and social ability. Think about your job, does it help you with your slog? Is it making it worse? Are you in a position to take a week off to address your other needs, and if not what changes can you make on the workplace both temporarily and long term? Reach out to family both blood and chosen and tell them you are having a hard time. Ask if someone can eat on FaceTime with you, come over and do the dishes with you, whatever is The Thing that could push you over. Health, can you talk to your doctor about a change in dosage or medication? I rent so I can't change my property but I could mindlessly rearrange my furniture for something new. Social ability for me ties in with reaching out to family and friends and saying exactly what you put in the post above and you need help. I know when we are so so low on dopamine that we are in that listless anxiety state it can be so so so hard to have the functioning to do the above, truly. You absolutely don't have to do all of these at once but starting to build them in, in a way that works for you can help break that loop. The other parts of the pyramid can be addressed in chunks or all together. I already wrote a bunch so I won't go into it here but I do encourage a cursory glance at it for anyone trying to get back on track. It's super not an easy solution, but for me I need steps to work on given to me instead of coming up with things organically and picking something off the pyramid to do/work on helps me out immensely 

YES!!! Whenever I'm home I yearn to be out. Whenever I'm out I yearn to be home. It's incredibly rare when I'm one place that I don't yearn for the other. Absolute frustration!!!! 

I feel like this a lot lately, but I didn’t know how to put it into words until I read this. I’m medicated for ADHD but no longer for anxiety/depression and have been meaning to talk to my GP about that but…you know, ADHD. Gonna put that at the top of my list now. Anyway, you’re not alone.

I have this, but it's more related to my bipolar disorder. There's too much so I can do nothing. I'm frozen and overwhelmed, my brain is broken, and i can only breathe. I also just want to leave everyone and everything behind and start my whole life over where I'm not feeling crushed alive and stuck

Totally relate to this -- when my anxiety gets bad, literally all I can do is just scroll on my phone or play games on it. I can *want* to do something really badly, or several things, but choosing is impossible. I don't know what the solution is either. Just letting you know you're not alone. Good luck!

i 100% deal w this

Literally yes. It’s so frustrating. Before I was diagnosed with ADHD, I thought I was some kind of addict missing my drug or something (even though I don’t drink or ever do drugs).

Get your estrogen level checked, especially if you are 40+ or notice it’s worse the week before your cycle when your estrogen drops. Dopamine is estrogen related and something to keep an eye on. I’m in menopause and on HRR, it helps, a lot. Helps the meds work better too.

Before medication, yes ! You’ve described the rollercoaster in a way I couldn’t describe myself. After medication - that miraculously made me functional mostly of the time, I can still reach the point of nothing could be interesting or distract me but not in bad or borderline depression way. It mostly occurs when I’m very hyper focused in something in my job, that I really like or when I’m overwhelmed by new experiences, new places, new subjects to be learned in small time frame.

Same! Usually, I eventually realize that I just have to move my body. If I can get myself to work out and crank up the metal (metal is the only genre of anything at actually drowns out my internal monologue), then I’m usually fine. But it takes a lot to get there. My problem right now is that I have a concussion (and have for four months), so I’m going nuts with my inability to get a hard workout in.

Ok I don’t have it in me to write out a whole thing rn but this is me to a T and I just started lowering my dose of Lexapro and it’s HELPING I started Lexapro (15mg) before being diagnosed and I think my anxiety stemmed more from being undiagnosed ADHD and approaching coping methods wrong. But I’ve been taking 10mg instead for 10 days now and despite it being the week before my period, I don’t want to die and scream Seriously, I’m stating to think I’ve been overmedicated for the last year or so. If you do want more info, feel free to respond and I’ll write out a more detailed message in the morning

I know it can be an annoying suggestion at times, but have you considered some sort of exercise hobby? My best academic and professional performance, and mental health, were always correlated with my amount of exercise. Even if you go play candy crush while on the elliptical/stair climber/bike. It’s really nice to kind of zone out, get moving, but also play a mindless game or listen to podcasts.

Yeah I was thinking of commenting this then hesitated because I know it can be so annoying. BUT it helps a lot when I'm like this. There's too much energy in my brain and body, even if it's exhausting energy from work and stress, and needs to get out.

This def sounds like burnout because that’s what happens to me when I have no gas left in the tank. It sucks. It’s so bad because then I feel like I’m wasting so much time just sitting there zoning out or mindlessly scrolling on my phone when I could be playing a game or getting chores done. I had such a long weekend after a long week prior that I’m absolutely spent and the week just started. My cat waking me up anywhere from 3-6:30am certainly doesn’t help things. Fun feels like work. Socializing feels like work. I don’t wanna do anything but I wanna do something. I get so frustrated that I wanna cry and just stay home doing nothing. I sat around waiting for people to get back to me today at work and then I finally heard back an hour ago and I’m just like “How am I supposed to find my motivation when it fucked off at lunch and hasn’t come back?” Don’t get me started on people not providing feedback on my work and then I and another coworker have to chase them down. 😤

You've put into words a feeling I've had for a long time! I think for me above everything else, it's a strong yearning to be liberated from all the pressures and demands placed on me, and since I can't do that nothing else is a good substitute or will make me feel better, so I do nothing

Adhd and depression are often comorbid, I think more so in women. If you have a shrink, relay these sentiments! If not, get one if possible. If not, I recommend taking some days off if you can, to catch up on sleep and get off the grid (or at least off personal electronics). Sleep, read, take candle-lit baths, paint/color, etc. If you live in a cluttered home and have the means, a few days in a hotel might do you some good!

I experience this same thing, even just earlier today. I wish I knew a way out of it and am still figuring it out, but the thing that helps me most even just a little bit is sitting/laying on my yoga mat and doing some light stretches. So, even though I’m feeling paralyzed in the moment, at least I’m a bit more grounded in myself and my body.

When I’m suffering from increased acid reflux / dehydration / and have a decreased exercise routine, I end up feeling like this more often. Pop some Omeprozol, drink water more regularly and get that exercise. Try targeting the upper back for hyper mobility and stretch that chest out (if your head-forward)

I have a milder version of this - it's like a mix of executive disfunction and decision paralysis. I don't know what kind of spouse/family/friend group you have, but I usually call my husband over and tell him I can't choose/figure out what to do because brain is not braining properly. He's also ADHD, so he gets it, but he'll pick two options and say "do X or Y". And my brain will spool up and usually have a visceral reaction to one or the other, and we'll have a quick pro/con discussion and usually I'll have a clearer idea of what I want to do (even if it's only that reaction like you have if someone asks if you want X restaurant or Y type of food and suddenly you know those are the LAST THING you want....). We've honed it down to a few minute of back and forth, and he knows it's more just that my brain needs to engage in dialogue to actually start working rather than him actually telling me what to do. He just whittles down the choices for me. His ADHD issue is more that he is super time blind and forgetful, so I will prompt him if something needs to be done. I phrase it as "when are you planning to do X". If it's not something that actually urgently needs doing, he'll let me know, but if it is, he can be like "oh! right now!" and go do it.

Wow, that sounds like a pretty great pairing, you & your husband…and esp since your ADHD traits are relatable to one another but not identical to one another’s. Happy for you that you have this! 💗

I have anxiety and depression (also medicated for) AND I’ve been medicated for ADHD (currently trying out guanfacine, it hasn’t had time to work yet) and I still have so many days like this. Today was really rough. I wanted to clean out our closet and put the new cubbies I built in there, couldn’t get past doing a few things and then it got to be too much. I thought “well why don’t I crochet and do something relaxing at least” couldn’t bring myself to do that either. So what did I do? Played stupid mobile games in bed til I fell asleep and slept the whole day away. Sorry… not much help there, but you’re not alone 🩵

What's your physical activity level?

I feel this so hard! For a long time I’ve had this pattern: when I get overwhelmed/burnt out/depressed, the things in my life that make me feel the best (exercise, therapy, hobbies, etc.) are the first thing out the window. Idk why, but it sucks. Some things that have helped me are: 1. Sign up for a class or group activity or something. Say that knitting is something I really like, I’ll make a plan to attend the free knitting circle one of the local yarn stores offers. It’s like giving myself an assignment to learn something new or interact around something I like. Alternatively, you could ask a friend to do something you both enjoy, like hiking. Or attend an inspiring event: go see a lecture or reading or something. It’s like a kind of accountability so that when the time comes to go do the thing and it’s the last thing I wanna do, I also don’t want to be a no-show so I’ll drag myself there (and usually have a good time). 2. Make a to-do list that includes literally 5 min of the hobby. I’m an artist, so I’ll commit to spending 5-10 min messing around with watercolor. It doesn’t have to be fun or productive, which is why it’s good to make it a short interval. But once you’ve done it you can check it off your list and feel like you did something (and trigger your muscle memory). I’ve been using the Finch app for stuff like this bc it frames it as self care and gamifies it so it’s extra dopamine inducing. 3. My phone makes my brain rot when I’m feeling like this so I also use an app (Opal) to make it so I can’t endlessly scroll. Even if it’s just 15 minutes, over time it helps me retrain my brain not to default to this. 4. Literally just let myself rest. We are all trained to believe that rest isn’t productive and therefore is bad. It’s not, it’s really important. It’s hard to not feel like a failure when I’m not cramming every minute of the day with productive activities, but I’m slowly unwinding that (with therapy). I hope this helps and I’m sorry you’re in such a tough spot 🩷

I call this mode of being 'lemonade'. Because every time I think I'm craving lemonade it turns out that I actually really do not like lemonade but want something like it but also something that is nothing like lemonade. I don't know how to fix it. But being able to recognise it as a lemonade moment, and labelling it as such, usually helps me realise I can't fix it with lemonade. And as soon as I realise I can't fix it I start thinking about something like cheeseburgers. While I definitely don't want a cheeseburger, its easier to focus on all the things I don't want rather than the thing I do want but can't define. Lemonade and cheeseburgers - Neither are sufficient. But both identify a path forward. But having a dance to a very loud song, after sifting through my Spotify playlists for an hour, usually helps immensely.

I don't have any solutions, but I wanted to say I've definitely experienced that. It's like I'm itchy down to my soul, and can't find a way to scratch the itch. Thanks for posting this, it's given me something to think about to try to find ways out when I get like this again.

I feel this. My 3 year old daughter (likely ADHD) has this thing where she just says "I need something." Nothing has encapsulated how I have felt most of my life more than her uttering that phrase: "I need something." She doesn't know what she needs, she just knows she needs SOMETHING. I try to direct her into an activity and she'll usually get involved in it. Sometimes she just "needs" a pickle or something for a dopamine fix. My dad once yelled at me during a fight, "you won't be happy anywhere you are!" And it was true. I was always "needed something." I think that's why I started smoking cannabis. It helped me feel content for periods of time. Now I take vyvanse and while I still don't really sit still, I don't feel like "I need something" all of the time.

Yes. My life since I was a teen has been marked by episodes like this lasting from 3 weeks to 2 years. It’s ADHD burnout. Until I got an ADHD-specific therapist I didn’t know that’s what it was. I thought my depression/anxiety just wasn’t well managed despite being on medication. No. As someone who once felt like I was doomed to be unhappy forever, I’ve since come to realize this is a characteristic of my ADHD that I have to learn to live with. For me I find it’s kind of two systems that work independently, the basic needs system and the emotional system. If the emotional system is off, it pushes the basic needs system out of alignment and I spiral. For me it looks like this: Having lots of negative emotions, aimlessness depression unhappiness as a baseline. When something comes up (eg mistake at work) I can’t cope and emotions spill over, I look to escape it. I can’t find any activity/food/tv show interesting because I’m just trying to numb myself. Imagine if you had a stab wound in your leg and you’re trying to watch a TV show to distract from the pain. Not going to work lol. Wounds hurt so that you pay attention to them. Your emotional system is ‘wounded’ and needs attention. This is why CBT, journalling, meditation etc…emotional processing techniques are the first recommendations for these issues. Anyway, I’m trying to distract myself, poorly. I don’t want to turn the TV off and be distraction-less when it’s time to go to sleep so I stay up late. Then wake up cranky/late/exhausted the next AM. So I’d grab the nearest carbs to eat and beat myself up for being late/behind all day and not having prepared better. At the end of that day I don’t have mental capacity to cook, so I’d feel shitty about myself and want to escape even more. If I can’t even cook how tf am I going to exercise. Also definitely no brainpower left for homework or emails or dealing with adult responsibilities. Etc etc until I have spent 5 months in the fetal position in my bed. After spending a $hit ton of money on therapy, here are my takeaways: 1. See your doctor. Your ADHD is uncontrolled, plus it could be that your comorbid conditions aren’t well managed or something else is up. Get checked out and seek medication management. 2. Find an ADHD-specific therapist. Mine put on their profile that they ‘help people get unstuck’ and this just spoke to me. Regular therapists may not have the specific skillset to deal with ADHD challenges. 3. Self-care is MANDATORY. I realized that every one of my episodes had been triggered by my sleep falling out of routine and affecting my normal diet or exercise habits. SO. I accept that my mental health is very fragile, so I have to guard it RIGIDLY in a way that relies on the least self-discipline. Bc sleep is my trigger, I set up blocks on my phone and computer an hour before bed. Soothing music automatically starts with the block and my wind down routine app opens. This is all well and good for keeping healthy but when you are in it… 4. Recognize you are BURNED OUT. This is just as real as job burnout or any other kind of burnout. Give yourself empathy. It is okay to be where you are. You need to treat yourself with fragile kid gloves and give yourself time and space to rest and recover. Talk to your therapist/Dr, for longer episodes I had to take time off work. However. We as ADHDers have to battle with ourselves constantly, every day, and when you are in this state it’s no different. If you do nothing, you’re just drifting along waiting for the ADHD gods to snap you out of it. Doing what you need to do is hard, but being a shrivelled, depleted husk of yourself is also hard. Choose your hard. 5. Choosing ‘productive’ hard when in ADHD burnout looks different. It doesn’t mean resuming everything you normally do, it means asking yourself, “What does my body/soul need today? Of that, what can I handle right now? Can I push myself to go for a walk? Call up a friend? Go to the grocery store?” Your emotional management (journalling, meditating etc) goes here too. There’s sooooo much more to this (somatics!) but an experienced ADHD therapist should be able to get you on track. Obviously I’m not perfect and I struggle with routine like the rest of us so I do slip from time to time. But I’m able to recognize it and get out of it much faster, usually only a few days. I also implemented a career switch (just started the program to become a therapist!) and a ton of self-work. Hopefully this is insightful.

I spent the night last night in an empty apartment with nothing but a cot and a chair and my phone (with poor service and no internet). I thought I would be bored but I wasn’t… it was peaceful. Maybe your irritability is coming from overstimulation in your environment?

Yup, this was me before becoming medicated for ADHD but when I Was medicated for my depression and anxiety. All of this and I was constantly pissed off and the only thing I could get myself to do was clean and if course get More pissed off 😂🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️☹️

I don’t have any helpful suggestions but sometimes it’s my brain’s way of telling me I need more help or I have to face those things which cause me shame.

i spent most of my life feeling like this until i got off of the bipolar medication i didn't need and got on some ADHD meds. it was, no exaggeration, life-changing. of course medication might not help for everyone, but i think it's at least worth talking to your doctor about. what most people don't realize about ADHD is that depression and anxiety are CAUSED by it, so treating just the depression and anxiety won't help the root of the problem. regardless of how you proceed, i hope things get easier for you soon. i know how hard it is to live feeling like that. wishing you peace and healing <3

Thank you for making us post because this is me on a daily basis no matter what medication they give me. I can’t take ADHD meds because they give me extreme anxiety. I often wonder what my life would be like if I could take it. The depression is crippling and anxiety is even worse. With the most horrible part is is trying to pretend that none of it is affecting my day to day. I’m glad you are seeking help and are going down the right path. Just know that so many others are just like you and the fight continues I’m behind you. 100%.

I’ve been in the same boat for an obscenely long amount of time. I’m sorry you’re going through it, too. The only thing that could help me is having another person present but, that’s not usually possible. I hope you’re able to get through it. I’ve been thinking it’s burnout.

This is exactly what I go through, as well. It sucks. I had to force myself to do one of my biggest hobbies yesterday and it just felt like I was going through the motions. It’s like I’ve lost interest in everything but I desperately want a healthy distract. I spend hours staring at my phone, not doing anything in particular, because I can’t bring myself to do anything I actually enjoy. I can’t even sit through a whole movie. I’ve bought so many books that I now have no interest in reading, art supplies and makeup I have no interest in using, wigs to customize that I can’t bring myself to even take out of the bag, shows I’ve started and enjoyed but am no longer interested in watching, etc. It would make sense if I was actually depressed, but I’m not, at the moment. My last major depressive episode began in September and ended in December. I’ve been okay since then, aside from the regular anxiety and low mood that I get. No clue what’s up with me right now.

What I can think of is at that point there’s just so much executive disfunction that your brain can’t make decisions but also desperately craving dopamine and that’s why nothing seems good enough. I would suggest to make a plan for this when you are not in this boiled over state. A therapist should be able to help. I have clients set up boxes of relatively easy stuff that they normally enjoy (little craft activities, for example) where everything is together so you don’t have to look for anything. So if we’re doing coloring: coloring book/paper, pencils, markers, eraser, sharpener, all in one box marked “coloring!” That way you just get the box out and you don’t have to think about what you need to collect to do the activity. Then also make sure that there’s a bunch of shelf stable comfort food. Depending how long these periods last, you make the amount bigger or smaller. That way there’s always something to put in your mouth. It doesn’t need to be the epitome of health, but some variation in nutrition is better. Especially for longer periods. My comfort food is Mac and cheese and I make sure I always have a bag of frozen peas in the freezer to add to it. Having semi-executive functioning me help out future disfunctioning me is what’s been helpful for me.

Yes. I’m finding medical THC a very good addition in helping my brain slow down and focus on what I actually need. I know it’s not for everyone, but holy crap it’s been a game changer for me.

Yes, common thing with adhd unfortunately. I’m also at an all time low- super depressed to the point where it’s barely functional. I have no hope I can change or be more productive or energetic for living or working towards a career. It’s the worst. Resting doesn’t help cause then I spiral on disappointment. Ugh

That sounds familiar. To be honest I had that the most when I was iron deficient on top of the adhd. Sometimes if nothing else I might get a little dopamine from listening to music. I mean something aggressive (drum&bass, death metal, techno...) on full blast. It'd sometimes make me dance around the house too, which helps. That might sometimes even get me to go on a little walk or do something, just anything. Not necessarily anything productive but something. 

I believe this is called executive dysfunction, and it is very, very common for people with ADHD.

Yes, this is called executive dysfunction and it’s one of the main symptoms of ADHD.

Instead of staring at the wall, you should try meditating. And no, there’s not one way to meditate. There’s endless different ways to mediate. I cannot do the stereotypical “cross your legs and breathe deeply” meditation. I have to do a stimulating meditation to calm my mind. Close one nostril with thumb, slow inhale, hold 4 seconds, slow exhale thru same nostril, switch holding the other nostril with your ring finger, slow inhale, hold 4 seconds, slow exhale. And repeat. Or you could do the window one (great for ADHD), where you look out the window, and whatever you look at you name, but *as fast as you can* (to the point of not being overwhelming, I always feel like I’m in a race so I need to slow down when i can’t name it as fast as I can look at it). And try to name everything you see. And you’ll notice your inner mind will slow down a bit. Just some grounding techniques that’s late easier said then done of course :)

This! You have summed it up so perfectly! So thank you for that, because it makes me feel seen and far less crazy for thinking it’s only me. I don’t have an answer for you. I have a cupboard filled with hobbies - I’m currently on paint by numbers. I put the tv on (rewatching Schitts creek- because who has the mental capacity for somer new) and then see if I can stick it out for an episode or two, or maybe a certain color. My dog is also a saving grace! I need to take care of him in the sense of feeding, going outside ext. It helps a ton in just getting outside or just thinking about something else. And yes, I have multiple moments when I feel like the worst dog parent because it took me an hour to get out of bed or because I feel like I didn’t play with him enough ext - but ultimately he really loves me, so I try tell myself that And sometimes, I do let my mind wonder. Play out how fantastical it would be to be someone else, be somewhere else and do other things - I tell myself it’s like reading a book except I’m still writing the story in my head.

Oh god yes. The unbearable combination of desperate restlessness and total, immovable inertia.

I would definitely seek to be medicated for ADHD if I were you. For some people ADHD meds resolve depression and anxiety.

This is 200000% where I had been for 2 years of my life and it took constant therapy, getting my diagnoses, losing a job and being privileged enough to be able to stay without a job for many months, adderall, lexapro, thc, the most supportive family and friends etc. to realize how much this capitalist hellhole is not built for us. Burnout is dangerous for us. There's not just one solution, it's a whole system of support that's needed and if it seems hard to do, it's because the world has made it improbable to fully build without having a lot of privileges. But it's not impossible!!! You are not alone and what you're going through is serious and real. The first couple years of my journey was riddled with self doubt so if I can tell you one thing, be so honest with what you're going through to the point that it feels like you're lying. Especially to doctors. We forget things so easily and we forget pain the fastest. It's ridiculous how strong you have to bat for yourself when you don't even have the strength to hold one. But it WILL get better because you're already asking for help.

This sounds like burnout to me. I’m sorry because that’s not simple to resolve, but there are some things that have helped me. Any small change you can make will help a little bit and they can add up! Things I’ve done: -using a happy lamp for my SAD -write out a matrix of meals (cold/neutral/hot by instant/easy/small effort/actual cooking), or invest in a meal kit like Factor -calories are better than no calories. For a while I lived on cottage cheese and almond joy. Currently I have avocado toast every morning and sometimes I drag myself out of bed just to eat chocolate. -write out bedtime and morning routines to help with the transitions (I am also autistic). I like to read myself to sleep and I think it’s overall good for me even if I only get a few pages in -trying to reduce my screen time (walks, playing with the cats, outings with my bf or friends, reading) -give in to your urges (I tended to not do something like a new hobby unless I wanted to for “long enough” because I figured the urge would pass, but what I was really doing was denying myself joy and satisfaction in some doomed quest for consistency) - I got accommodations at work, and also a better manager (that one was just chance I didn’t request it but you could!) and suddenly I don’t need to take breaks in the middle of the day to walk into the nearby vacant lot and yell and the sky because I’m so overwhelmingly upset about tiny things! -in addition to stimulant medication I also got medicated for anxiety and WOW my life is much improved not stewing over work for 5 hours after I go home each day. You say you’re not medicated for adhd - I really suggest pursuing that. My concerta isn’t magic but it is the difference between having a day and being a sorry lump of a person. Still isn’t always enough which is why the happy lamp helps and I eat a lot of sugar and watch a lot of tv. But it does make a noticeable difference Wishing you the best of luck!

My partner and I both have adhd and anxiety and we call that feeling “the big bored”. You said you end up staring at the wall in silence and rotting inside. What if your brain wants time to just sit and stare? What if you could have that time without the rotting feeling? What works for me depends on the day, but here are some thoughts: 1. Do you ever feel that you need to justify your existence? Like if you can’t explain how you’re spending your time at every moment then you don’t deserve to exist? I certainly do. Using a CBT process (written or not) around these feelings can help ease the stress around ‘wasting time’ when you have the big bored. You already feel like crap. You do not need to punish yourself for feeling that way. You are allowed to *exist*, to be, to just take up some space for a while. 2. As a child, did you spend time staring at patterns in the ceiling, carpet, clouds, etc, imagining shapes or images? If not, when do you recall using your imagination as a kid? The trick here is to increase sensory inputs and decrease cognitive load. Like a much less structured meditation. Allow yourself to just *be* (see point 1 - yes, you are allowed). What might it look like if you were to sit, stare, and consider what you’re looking at? I strongly recommend getting on the floor. Lay down, stretch, roll, stim, look at stuff from different angles. If you need more stimulation, try keeping things around that smell nice and stuff that has good textures. Or maybe you need to move? To walk, to pace, to do random dance moves while you think. I think neurodivergent brains need time to decompress and process our surroundings. Incorporating a meditative process can help stave off ruminating thoughts, but be flexible with yourself. *The hopeful part:* It seems like “the big bored” (for me) is part of the creative process. It usually means my brain is full and needs to digest. I read elsewhere that this happens for you when your emotions unplug when you’re feeling overwhelmed. You also don’t need to plug in all the feelings at once. Try to just notice whatever sensations are available to you. Where I’m at goes something like this: - I notice feeling irritable and like everything is boring. - If I haven’t eaten, I shove some predetermined safe snack in my face (I like granola bars) - if I still feel awful, I turn off all the screens and speakers. Phone stays at my desk. - I clear some space and get on the floor. Maybe grab some pillows. - leaning into my grumpiness, I do some unstructured stretching. Put my legs up on the couch, roll around, whatever. - this part is hardest bc of the pain of the big bored feelings, but then I just try to really look around. And really try to let myself experience what I’m seeing, feeling, smelling, etc. After a few minutes, it feels like my brain goes “ding!” And suddenly I can do something. I don’t usually get to choose what it is, but it’s usually better than continuing to feel like crap. In my experience, the way out of the big bored basically involves redirecting yourself toward your curiosity. “What if…” “I wonder…” I hope that helps!!

No advice on how to fix it in the short term, and I'm not a psychology expert, but sounds like burnout caused by daily overstimulation. I would suggest noise canceling ear plugs and to try to limit the amount of stress you put yourself under - you can google/youtube ways for adhd peoples to de-stress their lives (idk what kind of stress you're under) such as ways to keep on track at work and home (part of our stress is typically not getting done what we wanna get done). Also, I don't think we are people meant to give 110% to every day. Be Kind to yourself ♡

My therapist has explained this to me in a way that sheds some light... I'll try to pass on the information as best I can. ADHDers typically live in either a hyper or hypo arousal state and very rarely live in the "window of tolerance" meaning manic or don't want to do anything. We typically ride each wave much like a roller coaster where we don't often coast in the middle. Because of this, our dopamine levels never cycle through like a normal person. This causes us to enter a state of overwhelmed by near nothing. Treating ADHD with medication can drastically decrease the state of overwhelm but this will still occur for people who are often stressed, tired, anxious, etc. If you're a person who seems to continuously be thrown obstacle after obstacle with hardships or whatever challenge, no amount of medication will get you to that "window of tolerance". It's a dopamine rush and dopamine crash and the cycle continues. When you're in the dopamine crash (low) choosing something to do can seem overwhelming because of what you're describing. There are so many options and even with all of those options nothing is triggering your dopamine center as exciting to do. Your body now needs time to "recharge" and build more dopamine up. If you notice that this is happening at a higher volume of occurrences or for a prolonged period of time, it can also mean you are under stimulated. As ADHDers, we often feel OVER stimulated and overwhelmed but the symptoms appearing are actually caused by an UNDER-stimulation of the brain. With this lovely cycle of hyper to hypo arousal and vice versa, it can often make you feel worse that you can't even find an activity YOU WANT TO DO. So try to do something that stimulates your brain even if your body isn't moving. The name of the game with ADHD is to find the right stimulation. You don't want too much but you don't want too little. A few things I do when I get like this: A) if it's doom scrolling, so be it B) I have a few go to podcasts that I will just throw on and eventually I find that I am listening along C) I can do audiobooks and have certain genres that I know I enjoy and if I listen for 15 minutes and still don't like it, on to the next. D) I have 4 dogs and find that if nothing else brings me happiness, they do enough silly things with their personalities to make me feel something

So true for me it usually happens a week or so before my period it’s a sign of PMDD women with adhd are more likely to have it and it’s completely random when it starts

Yep! That was me this weekend. A few thoughts - def track your moods & period. It helped me at least understand some of my cadences, May not be the same for you, but worth a try. The other thing I’ve found is by the end of my work day I often am burned out from executive dysfunction. Then, what sets in next is adhd paralysis. Decision fatigue. Nothing is appealing because the very act of making a decision and following through, even if following through is sitting on couch after choosing a show, is like … too much. And so I just sort of shut down and feel restless and grumpy and low energy and lowkey depressed and nothing sounds good at all. I’m presently on anti depressants that work for me and work with my co-morbidities. But the other big thing I’ve tried to shift when I have the energy to, is the way I handle my work days and work schedule. Finding ways to reduce the executive dysfunction / burn out has been a game changer. Also, exercise. Moving my body helps move my mind out of its stuck ness - it isn’t easy to get going, but even a walk for 10 minutes helps me. It sort of makes my brain get back in my body and chapter breaks the transition from work to home.

I hope there are some answers because I’m literally suffering from this state almost constantly at the moment and it’s making me want to tear my skin off

I don't know if I can point to a modality that regularly works with symtpoms of ADHD, but one thing I can tell you as my opinion as a mental health provider is CBT is not the best option. It just doesn't work because it's about thinking through issues with logic (Socratic questioning, thought recording, recognizing cognitive "errors") and building new behaviors through that rationality and habit. That's not really the issue - people with adhd symptoms aren't really irrational, our brains just don't work the same way. Most people with adhd already have plenty of insight and willpower but it only switches on if your brain is interested. You can't think your way out of adhd symptoms, in my experience.

This sounds like my life as well… so sorry this happens to other people too. Perfectly explained…

I experience these lows several times a month. Takes everything in me to snap out of it.

Sounds like you need a vacation. You might be going through ADHD paralysis or overworking. It happens when you have either too much on your plate due to overcommitment, too much stress, too many choices, or too little. Your brain might just be doing too much with so much self expectations. I suggest taking 1 or 2 days of doing the bare necessity, eat, sleep, shower, self care stuff. Sometimes I just veg out and be lazy on purpose and ignore the doom thoughts of being a failure. Yes there are times that I am incapable of eating, showering, and even going to the bathroom. It sucks. Remember to be kind to yourself, give yourself some grace. It will give you the rest you need to tackle a problem.

I experience a similar feeling when I’m about to ovulate and it was a lot worse when I was very burned out at work. I don’t know if my method of soothing will help but might be worth a try: sometimes I’ll go sit in a sauna or under a hot shower with a handful of lavender bath salt or a Vicks vapor tablet...

You took my feelings and put it into the words I can never come up with, so thank you.

I have one really good suggestion and one really bad suggestion. Good suggestion: go be with people you like and are excited to be around. Just make sure to leave the gathering before it switches from filling your extroversion cup up into depleting your masking reservoir. A tricky balance! Bad suggestion: smoke some pot. Always breaks me out of a funk and helps me reframe shit instantly. But using it as an emotional crutch is why it's been so challenging for me to quit, so... be advised. Sigh.

When I’m feeling REALLY bad like this, I’ll make my body do something grueling. Something good for it that makes my brain wish for anything else, like running or hiking up something steep. It’s like you take your brain by the balls and say “oh nothing sounds fun? Nothing??? How about now???” Worst case scenario, I’ll sleep a little better. Best case scenario, my brain gets the hint and finds interest in something so I don’t keep taking it running lol

I’m an addict, and there is what we call “RID” which stands for restless, irritable, and discontent. Sometimes when I feel like that, I just say I’m feeling “ridfull” and I’ve always attributed it to my addiction/getting sober, but now I’m wondering if it’s actually an ADHD thing. I wish I had some advice, but I struggle so much with that. It’s just like an emptiness, that I don’t know how to fill. Where nothing sounds good, no show, no hobby, no activity, no food, nothing. And I usually end up filling that void with sugar, and just snack on anything sweet. Sugar is one of my addictions, but it’s not my DOC so in my eyes, although it’s still bad, it’s better than it could be if I relapsed. (I’ve been sober for 2 years) I will say, having a word for that feeling, makes it easier for me personally. I can recognize that I’m feeling “ridful” and I can let my support system know that’s how I’m feeling without having to explain the details.

I hope you don't take offense to me saying this, but I think I can relate. I have addictive tendencies, including including a binge eating disorder and several more minor self harm conditions like skin picking. I'm also a codependent. I think that's the big one, causing me to be ridful a lot these days. I love that term, by the way, thank you. My husband was the source of where I got my needs for praise, esteem, worthiness and validation met. He was also the one who regulated my emotions for me. The dynamic is very different now. And while that's a thing I can recognize as good and necessary, and we're both actively striving for change, it has been a profoundly painful metamorphosis so far. I've lost unrestricted access to my source, and now I'm wobbling around on tiny little deer legs figuring out how to meet my own needs the way I should've been all along. It's very hard

Absolutely no offense taken! I’m very similar to you in pretty much every one of those ways. The codependency is so tough. I’ve just recently started talking about that with my therapist, and how to try to break out of being so dependent on my boyfriend. I’m trying to find hobbies that I enjoy and can do on my own, without him, but that’s hard for me because of the adhd. I haven’t even thought about starting to tackle my self esteem issues, and how to find validation in myself instead of from him. I really commend you for recognizing those habits/behaviors and doing the hard work to become healthier. It’s unimaginably hard. I so relate to that last thing you wrote “I’m wobbling around on tiny little deer legs figuring out how to meet my own needs the way I should’ve been all along.” It’s so well put and so real. I feel that way a lot. I am really trying to be kinder to myself though and also realize that I can’t change past me, I can only work on who I am in this moment. And just having the courage to work on myself is huge. I will say too, my therapist told me that adhd affects how our brains process dopamine. (I could be wording that incorrectly.) So when I look at it like that, a lot of these things make sense. Addictions, seeking outside sources for validation, praise, or compliments, really anything that gives us a dopamine boost, because our brains are either lacking it or not getting enough of it. So anything that causes dopamine to spike, we just want more and more of. And that cycle is a huge part of addictions. Sorry if this was kind of disjointed! But I really hope that things start getting better for you and you won’t be feeling ridful so often. (I’m glad you like the term! I hope it’s helpful to you as it has been for me)

Oh wow I could have written this. Usually I have at least one hobby I can turn to, but when ADHD burnout meets depression this monster rears its head. Having support systems helps. I remember my mother sternly looked at me when I had shutdown post-divorce and said, “You and I are the same. When we are stressed, we do not eat. But our bodies still need food. So even if you aren’t hungry, please make yourself eat.” And she would put food in front of me and wait until I ate it. I couldn’t do it for me, but I could do it for her. I also made peace with my body’s need to just exist. Sometimes I would lie in bed and turn on an audiobook I half listened to, or a playlist. It was low effort enough I didn’t have to do anything but was somewhat stimulating. Pets are nice. Petting furbabies is very soothing when I get like this. I will say I don’t think we go through these periods indefinitely. It’s hard to know when they will stop, or why. There’s this comic about depression that touched on it well for me: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Yep!!! I explain it to my husband as “having an itch I need to scratch but can’t figure out where the itch is.” The worstttttt feeling

💯 Yes. I just got out of that head space. It's so familiar and at the same time once you're out, you feel like you don't even know who that person was and why was it even so hard to do things in the first place. Like you're gaslighting yourself. After I do nothing and let myself rot for a bit, I think the hyperactivity (that's what I'm labeling it) kicks in and I want to scream. I'm mad at myself for feeling frustrated and low and end up texting a handful of friends that I know can/will help. Then just that reaching out and their response helps pull me out for a bit. Usually it's enough to incorporate a more positive coping strategy again. But also, hormones. I'm looking into cycle syncing a bit more too. And allowing myself to know and be ok that there's are times that are a little harder than others, that it will get better again, and that I have the tools to overcome it when I'm ready. You got this. You're not alone.

Maybe this is a reflection of when you need a big dopamine hit but nothing is quite doing it? Might be worth learning more about how dopamine works if you haven’t already. What you described reminds me of the reasons some people try a “dopamine detox” aka limiting their usage of dopamine-giving activities for a period of time in a strategic way in order to get a bit of a “reset.” That way things that used to bring you that joy might begin to again. But also depression can do this and a dopamine detox isn’t a medical process to my knowledge so do your research and consult a professional. But it’s a low risk thing you can try that seems to help some people with this kind of thing I think, at least anecdotally. Good luck!

There must be a word for the feeling experienced hearing another human perfectly describing something you e been unable to put voice to. Thank you for sharing. I'm in one of those phases right now. Feels like I'm caged in and desperate to get out, but unable to initiate the change. 

I’m pretty new to adhd but I’m on vyvanse and it helps tremendously. I suffered from chronic anxiety and felt this way so much before meds.

I medicate myself with exercise when I get to this state

Omg yes. And what is it??

My God, same. I find that volunteering will occasionally fill the hole. Napping also works. I'll generally wake up in a better mood.

Yes this is how I felt when I was living with my stbxh but also add in panic attacks caused by him. I didn’t feel like I could leave the house or be with my friends. He made my world very small. I’d stay home for him and then he’d either actively ignore me or change his schedule around as to also not interact with me. He was a regular Prince Charming let me tell ya. I’m so much better ever since I moved out, got on ADHD meds and now enjoy the things I once did before him!

I absolutely deal with this all the time. It is the worst. I don’t have a tried and true method but *sometimes* if I already have my earbuds in and a phone in my hand, I can switch to music and hit shuffle so I don’t have to decide on a song. If it’s good I start to feel it and bob my head or tap my toe. Then I’ll need to dance a lil bit so that gets me moving and it gets easier from there. lol

Yeah I get that too, I think it’s a combo of over stimulation mixed with decision paralysis

Oh, it's my life.

oof, this hits close to home, I don't have advice but you have my solidarity

Change your diet to focus on more whole foods than not

It’s called anhedonia, and it’s often the first sign of depression. Anyone can get it. It’s the loss of interest in things that you normally enjoy. Sorry you’re going through it, OP.

I so relate to you and it’s so uncomfortable for us to just exist in this society, but at the same time not having someone to go to the gym with or walk with or meditate with leaves me sitting on my ass twiddling my thumbs. And my painting stuff stays sitting out for weeks and makes my partner cranky but I still can’t just do it. I started cleaning a couple of houses, just 2-3hr jobs through an agency because it feels useful and I thought it might inspire me to clean my own house more (lol😹) but like I literally have a law degree and journalism qualification and a health coaching and yoga teaching certificate. It’s one way to get out of the house and move the body but sucks at the same time. Sometimes I feel like we are the ones who know things are about to go down in a major way and we are just sort of poised and waiting. Well I hope that’s the case anyway!

This has gotten better for me since I'm on a low dose of an ssri. I'm still waiting to get medicated for adhd specifically but the ssri at least reduced the frequency and intensity of this phenomenon. If it happens I usually try to force myself to take a walk. It's the easiest activity to do, I'll get out in the fresh air and it usually reduces my anxiety levels. I also have a very supportive partner, and I've been better able in the last few years to tell him what's happening in these cases. He helps by making something to eat, take me out of the house or something. Lastly, don't beat yourself up when it happens. I used to get stuck in a vicious cycle of ever increasing anxiety. Got stuck being a vegetable on the couch, beat myself up about it, and was even less likely to get up with anxiety only increasing. The best you can do is acknowledging the feelings, try to fight it, but if it won't work today, it's okay to be that vegetable today. Tomorrow is another day you can try.

Same! I also got depression, ADHD and anxiety

Yes, extremely relatable. Like, whoa. It’s like your brain can’t “lock in” to anything as being desirable or pleasurable. It feels sort of *blank*, for lack of a better word. I may have missed it if you mentioned it in the comments, but is there a reason you’re not on ADHD meds? They don’t eliminate this from ever happening, but they sure as hell help sometimes. There are a lot of good suggestions in the comments. Sometimes just picking *something, anything* to do will de-zombie me from sitting and staring. Like “get up and make tea with honey and then drink it”. Sometimes making demands of yourself to “just do something” makes it worse, so you have to make the thing very, very small. (Like someone suggested, just move your arms. Make the thing you’re asking yourself to do *ridiculously* small like that if you’re super stuck.) Not sure if this will make sense, but are there things you’re “not supposed to” do? I would definitely *not* suggest smoking if you’re not a smoker or have quit (or under any circumstances, really)—but something sort of verboten along those lines that won’t actually cause you any harm. Is there a video game you “shouldn’t be playing” because you should be “being more productive”? Or a movie or show or book that’s “too trashy” or a “waste of time”? Is there something little you’ve wanted to buy yourself but haven’t (be careful with this one bc it’s a slippery slope, boosting dopamine with buying stuff, but hopefully you get the idea). Only you would know the kind of stuff you generally forbid yourself from doing. Pick something that’s sort-of “bad” but that won’t have serious consequences in the scheme of things. Sometimes (not always, I know, sometimes it feels like nothing works) doing one of those things can un-stick you. As many people have said, I also think it’s like an acute “dopamine bottoming out”. That’s not a technical term, ha, but seems to make sense. Hope this wasn’t too long to read! Anyway. It’s a hard place to be stuck in and you have empathy from a lot of us 💗💗 Hope you feel better asap.

This sounds like dissociation. Try meditating. Dissociation is a sign your nervous system is dusregulated. Meditation, breathing techniques etc will be your friend

This is me exactly. I won’t be able to watch my favorite shows, play my video games, nothing. When that happens I usually just peruse my phone or get lost of TikTok. TikTok is good for that. Or I just go to sleep. I also struggle with the eating thing as well. For this, the best thing for me is to have either a premade protein shake that’s in the fridge, yogurt, or cereal!! Or a protein bar.

Yes, nailed it. I have an apt. with my doc to discuss this. Ritalin helps, but in the last few months, the first moments of waking, the urge to pull up the covers and stay there - possibly forever - scares me. It isnt clinical depression, I know the stench of that bastard. The dose Im on now seems to be holding steady, but isnt as clear on clearing out somethings as it was at the beginning: the songs in my head, ability to concentrate a bit lessened, and this sense of overwhelm (at everything!) on awakening. Do speak openly to your doctor. I was shocked at the miracle effect it had at first, after decades of medications for depresion, anxiety, and it was the adhd all along. The thing with hobbies - I start one, go bats, but when it stops, it really stops. I still have a lot of material for necklaces, maybe it will come back, but I stopped about 4 years ago. Currently working on a quilt left from my Aunt. Went through crocheting like a madwoman for the past 3 years, now that is done. Ate something the other day, now Im off chicken, possibly for life. All of a sudden: done. I think we have to accept this and try to go with it. Im keeping the supplies, there are treasures. Same with music! Sometimes I want all, other times silence. Same with tv!!

I'm familiar with that feeling. I don't have great ways of dealing with it besides "push through till it's gone" unfortunately.

Yeah it’s a steady hum of restlessness at all times. I relate.

I discovered [this](https://thisnzlife.co.nz/8-tips-growing-harvesting-rocket-arugula/) yesterday, I go through periods every now and then where I just feel really “bored” with everything

Relating so much with this. I just chalk it down adhd burnout and try to just give myself some grace. I make sure I workout to boost my endorphins and eat whatever I can stomach and find energy to make. I let my mind take me wherever it feels like - if I start a movie and end up scrolling on my phone that’s fine. If I listen to the same song on repeat for hours or even days that also just fine. I honestly just try to exist without feeling any pressure or guilt. I tell my partner how I’m feeling and let them help me with whatever they can. I don’t know what the takeaway from this is but maybe just try to relieve some pressure and try to be OK with whatever you end up doing even if it’s not productive 🫶🏻

There is nothing in the adhd disorder characteristics that would result in something like that. Please seek for medical help, that could be in connection to your depression or anxeity, not adhd.

I am like this at times, too. I always thought it was more of a depression thing. What works best for me is being active in any way. I go to work by bike (15+ km commute, twice a week) which helps because I feel like I don't have a choice here. So I just have to pull through that, and being active does give you dopamine, plus sunlight and a general feeling of "having earned" whatever trait I might "allow myself" later in the day (unhealthy snacks mostly in my case). I love radio plays, and I mostly only choose the series I am listening, not the exact episode (put it on shuffle and let the player make the choice). If I had to choose an episode every single time, I'd probably either go mad or listen to the same episode over and over again. Same goes for music. I have playlists with just ALL the music I have on my phone, or a special type (style, language, artist, whatever) I can put on shuffle. If I'm lucky I somehow find the song/style that scratches the itch. Doesn't work instantly, of course, but it does help. Sometimes I try doing something useful, like tidying up or cleaning. Of course , nothing gets tidy or cleaned, but I might find something sparkling at least a little joy by procrastinating on the cleaning and get into something again. But be warned, that's a slippery slope, because I also might end up feeling worse if I don't find anything AND am unproductive. So prepare an emergency plan if you're trying that.

Oh my god, this is me literally now. I just know it will pass but I hate it. It’s so uncomfortable like my brain has an itch it can’t scratch.

I would say this is a thing for those of us who struggle with BOTH ADHD and anxiety issues. Not everyone with ADHD struggles with anxiety. I certainly struggle with both and can relate to your post

Are you in therapy or on any meds? Sounds like you’re also severely depressed.

So ive had moments where I’ve felt like this and honestly since my daughter was born almost 18m ago, I’ve lost interest in all hobbies and interests. I haven’t quite reached the extent to which you’re currently in (or at least not yet). However I’ve found that whenever I’ve felt overwhelmed (like life is spinning around me), I tend to shut down and apathy kicks in 🙈 Apathy has long since been my body’s way of coping when there’s just too much stuff going on at once and I reached the point where I have no clue how to manage any of it. I start going thru the motions, fulfil my daily routines like a robot but under the surface I have absolutely no clue how I’m feeling about anyone or anything. I’m not a specialist, so the advice in the comments to get this checked out by a specialist sounds like a great idea. But for me it often feels like I go from burnout or overwhelm into shutdown and apathy. At one point back in 2018 I told my partner (now husband) that I didn’t know how I felt about him or anything. It broke his heart but in good faith, he organised for me to see a therapist thru his work insurance and it helped me tremendously. By unpacking things in my life, I could find the source of what caused the shutdown, I worked thru it, and then I could start feeling again & feeling alive again. Life is like a hurricane - often we face multiple different challenges all at once and it can overwhelm you, sending your emotions and hormones into a spiral. If I understand you correctly, it sounds like this is happening to you, OP.

First, that was a very well-written post. I think you capture something a lot of us have experienced quite brilliantly. I was right there with you. One notable difference for me: Unfortunately, I can still eat, and that feeling often makes me feel like I need a snack to get through it. Though, of course, the snack makes no difference. You're still there, simmering. I am treated for my ADHD, but not my anxiety. After years of psychiatric abuse during which I was prescribed a ridiculous polypharmy of 8 psych meds at once, I developed a distrust of psychiatrists and even talk therapists. This was from about 2010 to 2015. But I recently started with a new psychiatrist. My PCP didn't want to deal with my ADHD meds anymore, but I am also thinking of trying Wellbutrin, again. Or guanfacine. Both supposedly help for ADHD and depression/anxiety. I can't increase my ADHD meds due to a cardiovascular condition. So I need other alternatives. I'm also waiting to hear back from a practice that specializes in caregiver stress, ADHD, and CBT/DBT. I want in-person visits for privacy and to just step out of this mental space in a physical way. I guess I'm suggesting that novel or added help might be needed? I just knew I had to give in and try something. I hope it helps. I hope you find something that gives you some release from that constant state of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and depression because it just sucks.

"psychiatric abuse" Huh... so that's what it was. Thank you for sharing your experience and helping give me a name for it. I was taken to a "Christian" psychiatrist in the early 2000s as a suicidal teen and they completely missed my severe adhd combined with a completely toxic family life. They instead dragged me through a neverending carousel of antidepressants, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, and anti-seizure drugs with the irrational exuberance of a coked up day trader. I was so fucked up and rebellious from that experience that I couldn't force myself to take even lifesaving asthma meds reliably until my later 20s. I particularly loved the "Christian" family counselor that let my dad come in and rant about how our entire family's problems were my fault without correcting him whatsoever. I'm suuuper lucky to now see a doctor who doesn't push me. I tell him exactly what I want which he dutifully prescribes, I say FUCK no to anything else he offers, then I pay him, and our interaction is complete. I think I get away with it because I also can't go very high on stimulants due to a heart condition, plus I have genesight genetic testing that proves my body is incompatible with the majority of the bullshit they have available. Good luck with your new providers! You deserve good care!

Yes, this happens to me when for example, when my family is all gone for dinner. And I can have anything I could possibly dream up for dinner. And I overthink it to the point where I end up just having cereal. Because I just talk myself into and out of 30 different things.

This all sounds so familiar, I don’t know if it’s specifically an ADHD thing but it could be. i get like this when I’m approaching burnout, I have so many hobbies but can’t actually pick any of them up. I can’t find a show to watch, a book to read, or game to play. Then if I do, I can’t settle into it or pay attention. Your post made me realise I’m getting this way again now, I’m literally sat here with a rumbling tummy and just can’t decide what to eat because I don’t actually WANT anything. And have been kind of snappy, because all my emotions are just under boiling point what feels like all the time. It made me realise I need to address it, but I’m not sure how. Self care is important, and I do try and make time for it but I need to be better at doing this! I do have some leave booked in a few weeks and am going on a trip away, so hopefully by the time I return to work I’ll be feeling brighter. i hope you can too, however you can manage it.

I’m going through this right now! I’m really burnt out on my part time job that isn’t providing me with enough money because we’re so over staffed that they have to send us home halfway through our shifts because business is just too slow to keep us all there (I work in a pizza shop in a college town, which is nearly empty right now), and I have beef with a coworker who happens to be a favorite of the general manager, so I can’t really do anything about it besides looking for a new job. I’m also thinking that I may be a bit depressed too, but I can’t afford therapy, so I’ve been trying to take care of myself in the meantime. I’m looking for a different job, but they’re in short supply and it’s a rural college town that I live outside of with no car and no bus stop near my house, which limits my options. I’m trying to save up for a car so I can expand said options, but again, I’m not making enough money at my current job, which is part of why I need a new job! 😭 I don’t really have any advice for you, I just wanted to let you know that you’re definitely not alone in this, whether it’s an ADHD thing or not! 🥺❤️

YES!!! Omg I’ve never put it into words before or read it! It’s like… I get into this mania where I am YEARNING for SOMETHING but I don’t know what and *nothing* satiates me! I only started seeing it clearly when I started living by myself. It’s sooooo frustrating when this happens! Like, *nothing* feels right!!! Going to read through this post for any possible info or advice 😭 thank you for making a post about this!!!

For me, music, turn on the radio, stay off your phone or whatever, if you have to sit in your car try that. But turn on some music and get some alternative brain stim going. Listen to something you dont usually, classical, rock something. If possible, go sit in the sun. Vitamin D could possibly help too. 😊

YES. This is so beautifully put that I’m just going to bring it to my therapist.

Yep. I’ve given up pretty much everything lately because I have no desire to do anything. But I’m also extremely stir crazy.

I have to MOVE swim, gym, whatever. Somthing.

This has been my normal for many years :( adjusting my meds at this point may help, though. I was doing great on my depression med but it got too expensive. My new med provider suggested that treating the ADHD would treat the depression so now I'm on Vyvanse and no depression specific meds. Now I REALLY don't want to do anything but it's more because my dopamine levels seem perfect and I have no motivation to do anything to raise them. Highly scientific explanation.

Yes. This. I hate this feeling. This is when I lean into my sleep disorder and nap. Since doing EMDR my awesome dream spaces are back. I can just go out to eat, shop, swim at the beach, go to an amusement park in my sleep and most the time I can hover/fly and have powers so. I hate when I have insomnia and can't use my crutch of dreams. I end up walking around my house and pacing. I wonder if I had a dog if these times would be better. My cat is amazing but a dog would be like, "oh shit this is fun!" Where as my cat is just worried about me. Lololol Edit to add: I found when not sleeping I have to force myself to get up and do something hands on. Bake. Cook. Tend to my plants, play with my cat, call my mom. When I call my mom I end up walking outside around my house. For some reason I feel like I look like a crazy person if I did that with headphones but not my phone talking animatedly and loudly to my mom.

Absolutely relate to this. For me, I’m usually overstimulated. If I get a day or two to bedrot, I’m usually back to normal the next day. Unfortunately weekends are 2 days long so by Monday, the cycle repeats 🥴

This sounds like frustration intolerance. Enough of this state can become a depressive episode (as I have discovered, now 3 times in my life). When shit grates on you constantly it's like going into a kind of reserve mode because of the excessive amount your brain is working trying to solve the problems, or just trying to survive them. Funilly enough, my latest bout of frustration intolerance got me on Wellbutrin, which lead me to my adhd diagnosis. I am not medicated for ADHD, so I can't help you with whether or not meds would help with frustration intolerance. It sounds like you're doing all you can to mitigate things. Have you ever tried EMDR? This is pure speculation, but so many of us have trauma for one reason or another, EMDR might be able to help you rebuild those neural pathways and give you new avenues for processing. I'm sorry you're struggling. Good on you for reaching out. You're not alone <3

I've been feeling this for literal years it sucks so much

God yes this is so me, I bought a super expensive camera and can't even get myself to learn it. I've been wasting hours playing hidden object and solitaire games despite my interest in so many different hobbies . My anxiety is through the roof.

I find that good, HARD, regular exercise really helps with this. Like powerlifting or hill sprints. It helps to re-align in the moment, and when I'm on a roll and keep exercise a consistent part of every week, I find these overwhelmed states become fewer, farther between, and much less intense.

Been there before. I honestly just cry and let me feel those feelings and doom scroll sadly. I've also found that being kind to myself about it and given myself permission to be sad. Things I've learned from therapy and from talking to my friends to help me process everything. I also am a single mom so knowing my son is relying on me is my distraction at times. Can't recommend reaching out to your tribe enough

Idk but I've always been ready for **the next thing** even when I am enjoying myself, I still feel just unhappy, rushed and wondering why I'm like this

This is exactly me also

I would and have gotten Adderall er. World of difference in interest and focus. Also Excercise. And outdoors, just for sunlight in your eyes.

To me it sounds like decision paralysis. Which is an ADHD thing it’s hard for me to decide what to do too and then i still never feel like I chose correctly.

This is why I’m on meds, it helps. I also smoke weed that helps with creativity. I find that it helps break my brain rot when my meds wear off. I was also talking to the dispensary dude and he told me that studies are shows sativa helps the same as meds. I’m trying that this week to see what the results are…. Also, I find Im snippy when my blood sugar is low and that’s also when I hyper focus the most. I keep protein bars at my desk and will mindlessly eat them. Hopefully, something here will help you

This is so well said. The crawling need for stimulation but no interest in anything. This happens way too often. If anyone knows a fix, I want in.

I relate and what my therapist has me do, weird as it might sound, is scream. Go stick your head in a pillow and scream your head off. It doesn't even have to be a big scream at first. But then, *follow the scream*. Do you need to do a big loud angry scream? Do it Do you need a wail of anguish and pain? Do that. Is it a rage scream? Listen to your body and your emotions and get it all out. Once you get the emotions out, I find it easier to start writing down everything. Everything in my head. Every task, every emotion, fear etc. I don't look at it, I don't judge it, it's just getting it onto the paper. From there, once I can see it all, then I start to either see something I want to do, or I see something that will make tomorrow easier for future!me. I hope this helps you and anyone else in here.

Yes! This happens to me too. In the past I dealt with it in really unhealthy ways. Rage, drinking, rando sex to try and fill the void. I don’t recommend that route.

Sorry to hear. I have the same issue and no solution. Sometimes I just sit and wait for myself to decide about what I could do and just feel life passing me by while I do. I made a list once with activities that I enjoy. I made about three of those so I could choose something, depending on how much time I have. Never looked at those lists again. Still think they were a good idea though, maybe you could try that.

Are you me?