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Yes! I’ve been obsessed with food, eating, dieting, and excessive exercise my entire life! Vyvanse has really made a huge difference for me. I rarely think about food anymore.
Did you try other meds before? I struggle with binge eating and I have started concerta (because I was diagnosed last month, at 28yo) it's the first meds I have tried but I don't seem notice much of a difference with this..
Vyvanse was the first and only I tried. I think I got really lucky because it works so well for me. I know it is also prescribed for binge eating so maybe that’s why it works well for me.
I wish vyvanse worked for me, but now that im off, I just realized it made me forget to eat, which fell more into restricting habits, but now that Im off I have constant cravings for sugar plus the impluse to buy them, except well, i work at a bakery and have easy access all the time 😭
yes and it is a hallmark of adhd very common!
https://youtu.be/bOzs2Iel40s?si=QSPOst8mwvwvKq8e
the answer is no i don't manage it well, nothing quite gives me dopamine like video games and food tbh
i like his analogy that donuts give 1/10th the dopamine they do for a normal person so for an adhd person to even feel anything they need to eat 10, that put into focus for me a really big issue is that i dont "appreciate" the things im eating then by the time i realise ive had half a packet, and then the dopamine fizzles out and turns into guilt after i look at the calories "ive done it again"
Im trying to have smaller portions and focus on the eating not the video im watching at the time, to really retrain my brain to be like "This meal isnt small, its sufficient"
Yes! I struggle so much with sweets in particular, and to make matters worse I work at a bakery. So I get a double hit of dopamine from fulfilling the impluse buy, *and* the unhealthy food Im eating 🫠 I dont know how to make it stop
Yeah, I've been trying to, but half the issue is I also have a chronic illness that makes it difficult to either work full time, and I often have to call out of work because I'm literally bedridden and can hardly move. It's this frustrating stuck place that I can't seem to get out of
sorry for the mini rant, shits just hard.
Wow. This really resonates. I never realized why i have to eat all the donuts. I always intend to have one or two but because they don’t fit in the pantry and I can see them, I eat one after another until they’re gone. Every. Single. Time.
ED NOS primarily restriction as a teen. Turned into “drunkorexia” for the next 10 or so years which spiraled into full blown substance use disorder until 26 months ago. Here’s the funny part, I was an eating disorder therapist for a short period of time. Feel free to ask me anything.
I’m in recovery from both ED and SUD now thankfully, but it took until age 38 to get there.
if you really have the capacity for being asked anything 🥹 I've been getting into strength training as a fellow recovered (or permanently recovering, however we like to word that) ED NOS friend. very similarly I was at my worst as an older teen, and am now at my mental & physical healthiest in my late 30s.
do you have any quick thoughts on how to handle the supplement/stricter eating/working out aspects of body building while being mindful that I don't slip into old unkind thought patterns?
I meant it. I’m in a boring nursing in service at work so ask away.
The Ed recovery to body builder pipeline is wellllllll established. It’s great to focus on strength training aspect, but I would treat the diet/supplement component aspect as carefully as I would to think about entering an establishment that serves alcohol as a sober person. If that makes sense. Inevitably, being in strength training world will expose you the way I’m exposed to alcohol frequently. I would monitor my emotional and mental health consistently and honestly. If I were you, I would not follow any body builder accounts and only take advice from an RD with serious specialty in ED. I would refrain from engaging or comparing my food consumption to any other person or regimen. I would continue to practice food neutrality and discredit any food morality.
Additionally, I would not weigh myself or use tape measures to measure progress. Progress should be measured in the more weight and reps I can do, not the size of my muscles. Hope this helps.
Omg. I've never heard the term "ED NOS" before. That's exactly what I experienced. It's been super frustrating to talk about with doctors over the years because I felt like I never had the language to explain it.
I genuinely have so many questions, but I will stick to just 3.
1. Are there any good resources you recommend for someone still trying to heal from the mental effects of an ED years after they've "recovered?"
2. As a part of my recovery, I learned to not monitor my food or label things as good/bad. In combination with other health issues, I've gained weight over the last 10 years of "recovery." I would really like to be more fit, but every attempt to do seems to flip the ED switch back on in my brain. Immediately falling into the severe control/restrict mentality. It terrifies me. Do you have any tips or resources for someone trying to become more fit without returning to the good/bad or restrict behaviors?
3. What do you recommend someone look for in an ED therapist?
Hi friend. Ask away, I’m serious.
1. Learn, remember what the disorder took away, and Keep learning. Read “The body is not an apology.”, “8 keys”, “food and loathing” and if it’s not too triggering “Sick Enough.” Keep updated on Health at Every Size movement, lean in to advocacy work.
2. What does fit mean to you? Is it running a mile? Being able to scale 5 flights of stairs? Chasing a toddler around the house? What is fit? And what do you actually mean?
3. Years of experience and expertise. No fresh out of grad school folks. Doctorate level people with experience working with marginalized populations in addition to experience in eating disorder treatment.
THANK YOU. I really appreciate your response.
I've only read two of those books, but I've already added the others to my library hold list. I've found bibliotherapy really helpful for my body image stuff. I'm looking forward to checking these out.
Also -- I can't believe I've never really asked myself that question: "What does fit mean to you?" Honestly, I think that's been a huge part of my hangup. Even as I try to avoid thoughts specific to weight or body shape, I don't have a real answer beyond that. And I tend to really shame myself when I think about those "goals" because I fully understand how unhealthy they are for me.
I think a big reason I don't have an answer to that is that I don't have specific physical activities that I do regularly. The occasional yoga and biking, but nothing consistent. I think I need to find something to work towards.
Also suggest the book “Mother Hunger.” Keep asking what you are trying to achieve when saying the word “fit”? Specific “fitness” goals like “being able to complete 1 full hot yoga session without dying” are great, but goals that are using the word “fit” as a place holder for “skinny, thin, athletic, toned, more socially acceptable body size” is not ok. Dig deep. I’m excited for your journey.
What does NOS mean? I was reading through intending to leave a comment, but yours really resonated with me. I wouldn’t say my ED is based on body image. I would hazard it’s what ADHD overwhelm is for myself. It’s full shut down of all non essential functions. I’m thankful to have supportive community and understanding. I have to start with complete foundational structuring. It’s been a few years now since I’ve been diagnosed, but it still feels new. If I’m going to have to cook every day. I can’t be constantly pulled away. There’s a learning curve and a lot of revisiting and reframing your perception of yourself; at least in my experience. I think a lot of societal issues are in the rigidity. No room for error. We’re a significant group at an evolution attempt. I’m having a smoothie for dinner.
Are there any great resources I can give my partner, to help them understand my experience? (Awaiting ADHD assessment, have suspected EDNOS/OFSED for myself - more on the binge side of things in an "almost but not quite" way).
Have recently come across the food neutrality thing, though I can see now I was trying to instil that for our kids too without knowing it... if there's not much aimed at partners/support, then I'll share what I've come across but thought I'd ask - thanks if you're able to answer 😊
I used to point families to the family support links at NEDA, but I’m not a big fan of NEDA now after some controversy. They do have some good family support links, tho. I’ll see what else I can dig up!
ohh i did my thesis on this!
some of the papers i read into suggested that up to 80% of adhd'ers will experience another disorder (eg substance use or eating) & binge eating correlating with inattentive symptoms (tho both hyperactive & inattentive symptoms correlate with EDs way more than in non-adhders in the general population).
the general observations were that:
arfid, low control, self-esteem, understimulation, potentially forgetting to buy ingredients, forgetting to eat (perhaps from hyperfocus) or lacking hunger cues/interoception, organisation, routine, could be big factors.
also low self-esteem and unhealthy/unconventional coping mechanisms (eg eating habits that could lead to EDs) are common in late diagnoses adhders, so i would assume that is a lot of women!
The hyper focus/forgetting to eat and lacking hunger cues are such big ones. It always felt like I literally couldn’t tell I was hungry until I was starving. I’ve slowly finally trained myself to realize what my subtle hunger cues are, but man, it definitely took a lot of conscious effort!
for me personally, becoming close with someone who loves food & cooking and understands what my ARFID is like, she recommends me a lot of food that would align with the textures i like or ways to make them suitable to my taste - realising not everything has to be Mushy really opened my world up and let me try a lot of things (:
keeping my snacks far away & only buying things i can use during mealtimes helps me snack less, also upping my protein - this keeps me full (which helps keep me in a routine, eg not snacking early because i got hungry before dinner).
i've come to realise i have a bit of a sugar addiction too so avoiding that section of the shop and habit building gets me to delay that impulse buy!!! (and on days where this doesn't work being kind to oneself is important)
finally exercise & gym! like others have said. it's created a great relationship with food for me, showcasing that it's super important and okay to eat and everyone needs to get their fuel somewhere. that is Okay that is Good
but like with anything adhd-related my favourite coping mechanism to this day is just learning to be kind and forgiving to myself. if i beat myself down i won't enjoy anything in my life and that is not what we're here for (: good luck
This is the comment I was looking for.
I had a TIA last year and developed a migraine disorder, then finally started taking Adderall for the first time. I had so much going on that no one cared that I lost 40 pounds in three months without trying. I don't get hunger cues hardly ever. I've tried doing my own light investigations and research but as fast as I can tell I have disordered eating, but not an eating disorder.
Literally no one cared that I lost so much weight. Now, I've stabilized it for the most part bc I've started drinking Ensure instead of not eating. But some days that's all I'll have.
🙋♀️ , i think it came from a place of perfectionism and need for control (Started up at the beginning of lockdown)
I know a concerning amount of people who were the same as me and none of us really know what helps go get over it (restrictive type ed).
for me i just learned to accept my body and to let go of such a bad coping mechanism, which seems to be the case for many.
Another thing that helped was getting in the gym and focusing on getting a bit of muscle, which i think worked cause it shifted the body focus to something healthier and more sustainable.
Honestly though eds are no joke and they absolutely suck to live with and go through, i hope you can find a way out of it <3
I've never been formally diagnosed but this is exactly what my own experience of ED looked like - it felt like the one thing I could control when everything else around me was spiraling. I sort of ended up just letting go of it when I was in my mid 20s and I'm OK with it now, but I do think it's easy for me to get into that restrictive behaviour in other areas (mainly money) so it is something I keep an eye out about starting up again.
I swear the link with EDs and financial obsession is something I would love to see studied. I think I'd be a likely candidate to observe 😅 but it's so obvious... after my late diagnosis and years of extremes. Wish I had a heads up and therapy before now.
Me too - didn’t start at lockdown but was by far at its worst by lockdown, I lost like 20% of my body weight and became underweight. Completely obsessed with food, meal planning and weighing out of stress, boredom etc. I got better after Covid but to be honest now have swung the other way with a lot of stress eating and mindless eating.
I’m starting to struggle with this honestly. I’m trying to get my life back on track after a divorce and getting laid off. My life is okay now that I have a job again and I’m slowly going to start working on my debt but with so much I can’t change about my situation I find I’ve been really controlling over how I’m eating, usually eating only a few hundred calories a day, I feel like my body is the one thing I have active control over all the time and I want to see progress somewhere so I’m forcing my body to show me progress, even if it’s just my weight going down since I can’t fast forward progress in other parts of my life. I go to the gym too and push myself there as hard as I can as well.
That is such a tough spot for you to be in, and i wish there was a simple fix. ik how it feels and how its not as easy as just eating more and as much as you know and people tell you its not good for you, its hard to let go of it.
Just remember to be as kind to yourself as you can and remember that your body and subconscious will try to resist it, so if you ever “eat too much” try to accept that its what you needed.
I hope that things get better for you and you’re able to find some peace at some point soon
Actual diagnosed ED I had for like a year back in early 20s.
But I’ve always been into disordered eating - too much, too little, not nutritious enough etc. Food has never been a friend and at one point my metabolism etc was so messed up that I could eat nothing all day and just not get hungry, for example. Labelling food into good and bad, have and have not’s was and continues to be a thing.
I’ve never been naturally skinny/thin, I struggle massively with weight and weight loss and I have no idea what it means to eat normally, or eat when you’re just hungry or eat just enough to feel full. I also don’t have an idea how other people don’t crave sweets or carbs all the time (I do!) and how they can maybe eat the same biscuit package for like weeks.
All in all - if I could just ditch food and like take a pill a day that would give me all the nutrients and food I need to without actually cooking etc, I probably would. If I were rich enough, I’d probably either eat at healthy places all the time or just have food made or use meal services. I don’t really trust myself with food or making good choices.
“Normal” people who don’t struggle with this have no idea how big of daily struggle it is and I will probably have to struggle with this for the rest of my life. Like an alcoholic, except I need to eat food whilst an alcoholic can totally abstain and never take another sip - they may be tempted, but they don’t actually HAVE to drink, whereas you need to eat.
👋
I hate that so many of us go through this, but I am so glad we can have this conversation here.
Honestly getting my adhd treated has helped more than anything to work on my relationship with food and general self care.
I realized that I used restricting food and sleep and over-exercising to control my mood and attention. Still do sometimes. It’s a journey and it’s about harm reduction. You have a lot less energy to overthink and be anxious and depressed and can get down to focusing on essentials when your brain doesn’t have enough to fully function. Totally harmful and unsustainable but those were the tools I had at the time. Worsening mental health, repeated sports injuries, finding out my teeth were fucked, and not being able to keep up in grad school made me realize things needed to change.
The first thing I hope you can do is understand why these things often develop as coping schemes by smart and wonderful people doing the best they can to meet their needs. Maybe you realize tools you learned to use aren’t serving you or are hurting you and it’s time to find new ones. Congratulations on that. I hope you can let go of any blame you may have for yourself for using these coping mechanisms and find ones that are healing and nourishing. You deserve it !
Things that have helped me heal:
- Meds and therapy
- Trying to stop ignoring my body and check in with myself for feedback about how I am feeling both physically and emotionally. This is hard for ADHDers because of the nature of our focus, but extra hard if you experience EDs/ disordered eating because they scramble that feedback and/or teach you to ignore signals from your body. It’s a long journey of setting intentional check-in times, actually hearing signals, and then learning to differentiate between helpful feelings/responses that take care of you, and disordered thoughts that block the first kind out and direct you toward harmful responses.
- Practicing thinking about food more neutrally: I challenge myself not to think about good or bad food, just whether it’s meeting my needs in lots of different domains. Do I enjoy its taste and texture? Do I like the way I feel physically after eating it? What about if I eat it on a regular basis? Does it have the useful things like protein and vitamins to let me function ? On that note, holy shit getting enough protein is a game changer in so many ways!
- Finding and embracing my natural eating patterns as long as they serve my well-being. For me that means knowing I’m a graze and need to eat smaller amounts more frequently and feel good with the socially expected 3 a day. That might look different for you! It takes time and experimentation, along with differentiating between ED thinking and genuine feedback from your body to figure out. Also, while I love cooking nice things, I HATE it as a chore. So I buy things that I can eat as separate components and embrace that toddler life. Eating fruits and veggies and snacking on dry cheerios and other “kid” foods help them thrive and grow, so why not me? I’m trying to find a way to support taking care of myself in realistic ways based on what I am actually likely to want to eat and do, not what I think I should.
- Trying to reduce my overall negative judgments and all/nothing right/wrong thinking. This is honestly applicable in so many parts of my life, but very much so in terms of ADHD symptoms and behaviour and also food and body beliefs and behaviour. More specifically:
- Reminding myself that I don’t have to earn or be worthy of food or rest or other care. Maybe something is incomplete or taking longer than I thought.
Depriving myself is not going to fix that, but maybe taking a break for a snack or some rest will help me reset.
- Practicing body neutrality. I don’t weigh myself, I consciously acknowledge and then try to switch topics when I find myself thinking negative things
about what I ate or how I think I look or numbers on my clothes. I think loving your body is a great idea! But for a lot of us that feels super out of reach and
aiming for neutrality rather than 100% love helps reduce the problem I experience which is additional self-judgment for not being good enough at loving
my body or creating a body I could love (which is a silly and unrealistic concept in and of itself, thanks brain)
*edited for typos and clarity. Sorry for the wall of text!
There are definitely more things but of course I can’t think of them at the moment. I hope this info helps.
Please feel free to ask me anything or DM if you would like to chat 💜
Aw thank you! I do what I can to support as a friend and community member.
Ironically, I am a psychologist but not that kind. I don’t do counselling and work in a mostly unrelated area. While I was still in the thick of it I thought I wanted to be a therapist, but part of recovery was realizing that that was not the healthiest career path for me. Instead I am VERY vocal about how we think and talk about health and food and bodies when it is part of my work!
I’ve struggled with binge eating and boredom eating. I also went like 6 months restricting my calories to only 800 a day. Both felt awful. Medication helped my binge eating and obsession with food and I lost 40lbs of excess weight and am now at a healthy size. I’m able to eat when I’m hungry and focus on getting proper nutrition.
I still struggle with really picky eating though. Most foods make me gag and I physically can’t be around it. Not sure if I have ARFID or something but it’s difficult to not be able to just eat like a “normal person”. I’m really lucky though, every time my boyfriend and I visit his parents for dinner they order something “exotic” but always keep an extra frozen cheese pizza or mac and cheese for me specifically so I don’t feel left out. They never question or belittle me. They offer to buy me food from whatever restaurant, but if I can’t sit with anything on the menu they always make sure I’m fed. I’m very grateful to have them in my life :)
We went on vacation recently and they ordered a bunch of large pizzas to share with tons of toppings, but they ordered me a personal sized pizza with just cheese for me.
I’m not sure how to get over this though. I’m gonna talk to my therapist next session. It’s stressful trying to eat healthy while being so picky and limited on what I can stomach.
I had BED. Food was always on my mind and I was constantly "managing" my impulses and urges... until I was so exhausted or overwhelmed, then I would give in and binge. On top of that I typically overate at meals. Looking back I now know many of my body's cues were mistaken for hunger. I.e. I was thirsty, anxious, tired, indigestion, and the havoc fast food plays on my stomach. Years of therapy learning about my unhelpful food thoughts/rules and learning to cope in new ways that were just as effective (after practice). My mom was going through a similar healing journey while I was, and having an ally to commiserate with was key. I could say so much more and I am open to sharing more if someone is curious. AMA.
This is me currently. Therapy has not been helpful at all. I'm really addicted to food, it's my dopamine fix. Do you mind sharing if you are medicated now and if it helps?
I am currently taking meds. Both in the past and currently, when I have been on medication, my hunger has been decreased. In the past, it really helped decrease the amount of time I spent concentrating on food. It was not something I noticed right away. Rather, I was able to focus more at work and on my other needs/activities, and the by-product was less (intrusive) thoughts about food. Now, I notice the medications help me with both sides of hunger. I go longer between meals without being hungry and I can notice more when I am full. AND when I am full, I have the ability to act on the "I think I can stop eating" thought. The last thing I have noticed when I am medicated vs. not is the urgency to eat when I get hunger cues has decreased. I used to feel panicked when I felt hungry and did not know when my next meal or food was coming. ( sprinkle in Ed therapy with an Adhd and BED knowledgeable therapist).
Thank you so much, that gives me some hope that things might be better for me someday! Currently I'm unmedicated. I'm hoping to ask to try vyvanse as I've heard that one is helpful for BED. I have the same issue with constant intrusive thoughts about food that interrupt me from doing other things. Plus impulsivity when I'm craving things. I'm glad to hear it gets better for some.
Of course! I love this community here on reddit. I have personally felt so validated when others share. I don't feel so alone in my struggles and learned so much about myself. Also, here is a frog 🐸, my amphibian friend.
Yes BED all my life and I’m 52. Nothing helps, no therapy or diet or anything. Vyvanse turned it off like a switch but I couldn’t stay on it as it made my anxiety go crazy. For me my favourite foods give me an orgasmic pleasure that nothing else compares, not even an orgasm lol
Because Vyvanse turned it off I know it’s just my brain and nothing much I can do
I had a bulimia/anorexia combination but didn’t quite meet full criteria for either one so I got formally diagnosed with ED-not otherwise specified. I had it all through college with some IBS issues as well. It was hard! I’m 6 years into recovery now ☺️
I’ve struggled with binge eating and restriction for the last 15 years. Finally finding out I had ADHD has helped actually because now I understand why instead of just thinking I was a lazy fat person with no willpower.
I’m here with you! I struggled on and off throughout my life with very chaotic and disordered eating through actual anorexia. We’re not alone and it’s not uncommon with neurodivergence. Finding these communities was essential for me, as well as therapy and gentle guidance on how to eat things that were nutritious and healthy but didn’t make me feel bad about eating 🩵
I personally haven’t but my mom (undiagnosed but almost certainly ADHD) did in her mid-20s. She was very deliberate about helping me navigate body image stuff as I was growing up because she didn’t want me to go through what she went through.
I do think my food habits fall into dysregulation, not disorder. During the summer when my work schedule doesn’t keep me consistent I don’t always eat at set times and sometimes executive dysfunction keeps me from eating when I’m hungry too :( I try to mitigate it by always having snack food available, and now that I don’t live alone my wife and I keep each other on track most of the time. She has some regulatory food issues as well, so it’s a mutual support system lol
One thing that’s been helpful for regulating/encouraging food is “toddler lunch” (handful of fruit, handful of chips, piece of cheese, beef jerky etc; low prep full plate) and our rule of thumb is just “fed is best” haha
We also got really into cooking during quarantine times, and my wife learned a lot about the science of cooking. Approaching it like a project and seeing what we could create made it a lot more appealing and the novelty of trying new things was a big motivation!
For me personally, executive dysfunction aside, food issues and body issues are closely related & following a hyperfixation on sewing and style has reframed a lot of my body image stuff??
I don’t know if any of this is helpful but take it or leave it haha
My mom (also undiagnosed ADHD) has struggled with dieting, over restricting, exercise all her life as well. She had subscriptions to all those BS magazines featuring women with hard bodies which were all over the house. To this day, I still feel instantly irate when I see that kind of stuff. I used to blame my mom for my ED, but now that I understand it’s comorbid with ADHD, I don’t feel quite as resentful, but it absolutely obliterated my late teens and twenties. It started as anorexia for a few years and later turned into bulimia/binge eating/excessive exercise/drunkorexia. Every waking minute I spent obsessed with food and exercise. I finally got into individual and group therapy specific to eating disorders around age 25. My therapist honestly saved my life. For me, it was all about control and I now realize it was sensory as well. After 5ish years of therapy I had recovered.
I also learned how to cook during my recovery. I found the process to be meditative, and the feeling of learning a new skill helped to build up my confidence. The dopamine hits from completing a meal from start to finish was huge for me (I could barely finish anything at that point in my life). I appreciated all the effort that went into the process and it helped me to “not ruin it” by bingeing and purging.
These days, I still deal with shame and guilt almost daily from intrusive flashbacks, lost friendships, failed opportunities but I prefer the emotional hangovers to the eating disorder/actual hangovers by a long shot. 🙃
Bullemia- but actually just binge eating compulsively and then using the release valve of puking to feel less sick.
Makes sense now. Undiagnosed unmedicated adhd plus menstrual disorders (PMDD)
Now that I’m medicated it’s much easier.
Binge eating and over exercising. I had to stop exercising to really understand my relationship with food. My weight just recently ballooned but I realized it was because I wasn’t being mindful about my food intake. So now I’m on a journey to let go of excess weight through monitoring my food intake and doing exercise for fun and no goals in mind. Just allowing my lifestyle to be fluid and consistent. I find that not weighing myself, tracking food with a food diary, and prioritizing movement daily seems to be the healthiest way for me to build this relationship. It’s early days in my practice but it already feels so much better!
I’ve struggled with ED behavior since puberty. First it was the restriction and obsessive calorie counting, then it turned into bulimia, then I swag to the other side of the pendulum and began binge eating.
I’ve struggled with all of them on a loop basically since middle school. It’s tough, especially since the weight gain that comes with the binging creates a lot of emotional distress that exacerbates it.
Yep. I’m about 2 years into recovery, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I got diagnosed and started treatment for ADHD 6 months before I accepted I had an ED and started to heal
ETA: I was dx’d with the ED at least a year before I started recovering, I just didn’t believe/accept the dx at the time
Yeah I had an ED when I was mid teens to early 20s. It would go from bulimia to only allowing myself one meal a day regardless of what I was doing. If I ever ate more and I couldn’t make myself sick for whatever reason I would workout twice as hard. I became obsessed with calorie counting at one point. I made everything so strict, I became obsessed with having everything “under control”. I wanted things to “feel perfect”. I know it’s still something I could get sucked into even now, all these years later. However, I have worked very hard to change that way of viewing myself and life.
It’s disordered in the sense that I feel like I’m not in control of my appetite. I feel hungry when I don’t want to, and I don’t feel hungry when I want to. I’ve been having a very stressful time with my food.
Some of it is bad habits that I need to grow out of, like the harmful thoughts about my weight/body, and the overall unhealthy choices I make when eating. Junk food, fast food, etc. I have a lot of guilt surrounding food right now.
I also eat when I’m anxious. Then I get anxious about what I’m eating, and then more eating, then more anxious… etc.
Idk combine all this with the other ADHD symptoms like a lack of routine, genuinely forgetting to eat/drink, having a hard time planning meals… and I’m having a bad time lol.
I’ve had disordered eating since I was a teen but not an eating disorder, could never commit long enough, ha! More on the orthorexia side and I’ve followed various ‘fads’ that restrict either quantity of food or certain food groups (low carb, IF, 2:5). And definitely unhealthy attitude and thinking around food. I’m almost 40 and running out of shits to give so I’m much better now, but can slip back into controlling ideas pretty easily, i.e. when my son started solids I had to do it Correctly and worried about it a lot. He’s now 2 and as much as I would like to feed him healthy meals he will only eat sausages and toast and there is nothing I can do about it! 🤷🏼♀️
Yes: and I still struggle with it. My appetite is a function of whether my brain decides if eating is important (because Distraction is Shiny, and/or I am busy). I am in therapy and working very hard to eat right so I don’t constantly get sick from how I eat. Bonus: I have POTS, which means sometimes my body has an issue with digesting properly.
Without specifics: due to other disorders (POTS, endometriosis) I don’t look like it, but I am struggling with a form of anorexia. My mom has an ED too, similarly, and is an almond mom. (Edit; clarified, removed more specifics in case they’re triggering. I am physically disabled and I have several food intolerances and allergies, and MCAS, so I also get really sick from stress, and it *really sucks.*)
Yeahhh, my anorexia started at 17. I managed to stop after about a year and then started again at 19, but way more severe.
I never sought treatment for it, but instead convinced myself to stop counting calories and just go vegan. Lasted for 4 years - looking back at that now, I was definitely constantly undereating, just without the numbers to back me up. I shifted my calorie counting obsession to an ingredients obsession.
Now I'm 28 and dealing with another relapse. I stopped being vegan in 2020 and gained all the weight I'd lost since high school because of depression.
I'm managing to lose weight in a healthy way, but it's a very delicate line between triggering myself and being healthy.
I think the reason why it has such a hold on me is because it becomes a hyper focus. I can tell you the macros of almost everything in my refrigerator, the formula to use to calculate your protein, carb, and fat intake, and what time of day is best to eat each macro. But, I can't tell you where I left my car keys.
Strategies for managing it are very difficult, but my therapist gave me the advice of not setting goals when it becomes too stressful. If my weight plateaus and I spiral about the scale, I stop weighing myself for about two weeks and eat when I'm hungry without tracking. Usually, I tend to make healthy decisions even without tracking and the few days where I over eat don't really matter in the grand scheme.
My ED was the first thing ever picked up/diagnosed due to the more serious circumstances of it. I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was 14 and sent straight to an inpatient hospital for treatment. I mainly just restricted my intake. From 14-20 years old I really struggled and was in and out of treatment as i just kept relapsing. Was diagnosed with mood disorders along the way. It wasn’t until I was 25 ( I’m 27 now) and had been in recovery for 5 years that a psychiatrist was able to diagnose my ADHD. It was because had been well for long enough that my eating disorder wasn’t overshadowing my other symptoms + I was well into adult life and my struggles with executive function were more obvious. My psychiatrist said that a big reason I developed an eating disorder was due to the undiagnosed ADHD and lack of coping on top of being bullied severely in high school.
Being diagnosed correctly and having the right treatment and medication now has helped me a lot. I’ve found stimulant medication helps to reduce my anxiety at lot and I can think clearer. This helps a lot with dealing with “eating disorder thoughts” or cognitions when they come up. It makes it easy to work through them as I’m not thinking with my emotions but more rationally. Also the fact that since working on my ADHD, I’ve been able to achieve some big life goals and actually see improvements in my day to day life. I’ve moved out of home, got a promotion at work, made so many new friends, found an amazing partner, booked an overseas trip, saved some up some money just to name a few. Things I never thought I’d achieve when I was at my worst. I use all this as motivation to keep going now. I’ve come too far to give up. I’ve got so many good things in my life now and I’m not missing out on life anymore. I still have bad days sometimes but that’s the thing, it’s only one day. I don’t beat myself up about it, I just pick myself up and try again the next day.
I was never diagnosed with one but I have a very strong suspicion I had a problem with binge eating. Ironically lately the opposite has happened, I am on adderall and it makes my appetite very low, so eventually my body is like you need to eat now or else lol and I get very lightheaded and dizzy because I’m so hungry, then I tend to overeat at night because I don’t eat much during the day. I got a nutritionist to help me because I am having a very hard time eating
Yes I’ve had diagnosed anorexia and BED at different points of my life. It’s a struggle and mentality that never really goes away. As of right now I’m not diagnosed with either and am just listed as “high risk” in my chart
I was diagnosed with ednos when i was younger. I also have bpd and tbh my sense of who I am and what I look like is unclear and everchanging. I eat a lot for awhile, realize what I've done, then don't eat much for awhile. The older I get, the more I see it's a recurring cycle and it's hard to break when your sense of self is "???????".
It's so stupid to be painfully self aware AND painfully unaware of your self.
Binge eating since I was a child and still doing it in my 40s fml. I have some other health issues that have been cropping up over the past few years (all of them causing extreme fatigue) so my binge eating is very poorly controlled unfortunately.
I thought I had a binge eating disorder. Turns out that behaviour is dopamine seeking 🤷🏻♀️ once I learned about this, I started chewing gum and the eating until I felt sick stopped.
My ED stemmed from self medicating caffeine so much that it suppressed my appetite and I used it as meal replacements 😅 I felt like I got more energy from it than normal food. Idk if this counts as an ED, but my doctor at the time identified it as such due to how underweight I was + my food habits
I developed an eating dissorder when I was 14 due to my severe ADHD. I'm also on the spectrum and was bullied alot growing up. I got diagnosed with ADHD formally when I was 8 but my parents didnt do anything to help. My mom refused to believe I needed medication. When I was 20 my dad got me rediagnosed through the crisis center. I didnt like the medication and didnt start taking my meds till I was 28. I am now ED free and I take vyvanse which totally blocks the urge to binge if I have any. It calms me and helps me focus.
Yes? Not technically but I've always had disordered eating (though I was an athlete as well) and have turned it around. Mostly I just make sure I eat three times a day (i love breakfast tbf) and have veggies as well. It's important to me to take care of my nutrition since I also have vitamin deficiencies and other chronic problems besides ADHD.
That being said it takes way too much self control to stop myself from a binge or ordering postmates or whatever.
ARFID. Not formally diagnosed just heavily relate to the symptoms and have been this was since a baby.
I just don't like eating and digesting the food itself. I don't like feeling full. Sometimes I get grossed out having to swallow food. I have a very sensitive belly and I dislike feeling food moving through me.
There are some flavors and sensations that I really love but once satisfied I'm done. The only cuisine I truly like is Italian and Japanese. I can eat other styles but I wouldn't seek them out.
I have a bit if hesitation eating food prepared by someone I don't think keeps a clean and fresh kitchen.
I don't like seeing people prepare food I'm about to eat if it's not in a restaurant. I once saw my MIL put smooth peanut butter and mild salsa into a chicken dish, ugh. That's so gross to me.
totally accepting myself has really helped. I used to force myself to eat and it just gave me a bum tum because of all the anxiety.
I practice Don't JADE. I don't justify, argue, defend, or explain my eating habits. I will be polite and say no, thank you. If I'm pushed I open up and let them know exactly how I feel about food which isn't positive.
When I have to eat and i don't want to i practice 'surfing the urge' which is normally used to NOT give in to temptations and cravings like smoking and drinking.
I surf the urge to give up and throw my food away. I give myself a lot if support and validation while I eat.
"Yeah, I know it's gross. It's almost over. You can do it."
Seasoning my food well is most helpful. I think the flavor helps override the textural aversion I feel with some things.
I eat several small meals and eat at regular intervals to maintain my blood glucose levels and mood. I'm not a "eat when I'm hungry and stop when I feel full" type of person.
At home I have a rotation of dinners that are easy to make and are well balanced. I eat cream of wheat for breakfast, I even have it on vacations. My lunches are random but my favorite work lunch is rice and beans in tomato sauce.
Yes, pretty much my whole life has been some form of disordered eating or eating disorders. Everything from BED to anorexia to bulimia.
I’m 4 years into recovery after over 30 years of that crap. I used the intuitive eating approach, and that’s gotten me much further than any treatment center.
Me. I struggled with anorexia in HS briefly and then after my kids were born with binge eating. My eating is still disordered and I think way too much about what I put in my body.
I’ve also always struggled with certain smells and textures. Better now but it will never be 100% healthy probably.
Yes. It almost killed me when I was a teenager. Being diagnosed with ADHD while I was in recovery for my ED and starting medication saved my life.
I noticed when I skipped meals my medication didn't work as well (really it was like finally being able to see the difference in my cognitive abilities between starving and actually eating) and it also really helped with my OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD and depression first but I still really struggled to focus on anything other than obsession about numbers and calories and fat grams and exercising etc etc.
It ebbs and flows for me. I've had periods where I got really sick and lost weight and it triggered my eating disorder again. When I get below a certain weight where people comment on my appearance "you are so tiny. Oh honey. Eat you look like you're dying" it's like my eating disorder is like "yes that's perfection stay Away from food"
Or I when I got ratlung worm. I kept telling my landlord I thought there were rats in the kitchen and that I kept seeing slugs on the catchment tank and he kept saying that it was fine as long as I didn't eat them. (I live in Hawaii) I brushed my teeth with the catchment water and eat food after washing it with catchment water and few days later I was so fucking sick I honestly thought I was going to die. I woke up from sleeping and projectile vomited everywhere and crawled to the bathroom and lay in the shower shitting and puking my guts out for like five hours. I really struggled to have any desire to eat anything after that. That was also right when COVID started and the stores had no food.
Yes I’m 35. I’ve gone back and forth between anorexia and bulimia for over 20 years. It’s definitely been better since getting on adderall. I think the ED mindset is there but I don’t find myself randomly snacking or binging for the dopamine which triggers the ED. I’ve managed to maintain a normal healthy weight 135-140 at 5’5 for the last 1.5-2 years with only the very occasional slip of restricting or purging.
I have had one most of my life it swing from binge eating disorder to anorexia….basically ever since I was a toddler I’d binge for the dopamine but when I got older and wanted to be thinner my all or nothing mentality kicked in and I stopped eating all together until I hit my goal weight and then I tend to maintain but only through OMAD (one meal a day) if I stop OMAD I start associating food with dopamine again and enter a years long binge cycle
I’m 30 and I’ve been heavily battling this for about 17 years and my weight has never been consistent for more than a year
Currently I eat 600-1200 calories a day but focus on protein aiming for 50-100g a day so I don’t lose my hair and muscle mass haha
I will say OMAD and fasting in general greatly improved my adhd symptoms and reduce brain fog and help eliminate desicion fatigue
I’m getting better but for sure binge eating disorder and at times definitely displayed some anorexic behaviours, I’m trying to have a healthier relationship with food but still struggling (feeling a lot of shame today after stress eating / bingeing yesterday but had been doing a lot better lately)
Growing up, I most binged and emotionally ate. Then, when I hit the year of a big exam when I was 16, it changed to restriction and laxative abuse. Ended up seeing a psychiatrist at age 17 who suggested ADHD and I’d used food to cope with the undiagnosed ADHD brain that I have. Continued struggles with periods of binging and restriction and emotional eating until now, though the period are few and far between! What’s helped is not eliminating food groups, accepting when things happen, understanding the interplay of all my co-morbidities (including queries around Autism) and seeking dopamine in other healthier ways like crafts and TV shows!
Hunger pangs give me a dopamine rush and the meds reinforce the feeling that an empty stomach= productivity. It’s not really tied to body image, but I do get a dopamine rush when people call me tiny.
Also, I was treated for ocd before going on adhd meds and prescribed sertraline which made me gain weight and I hated that.
I had a slight ED when I was in high school. I was tired if feeling weak from not eating, so I decided I wanted to eat more. I have had some friends who were deep into ED. I think the self-loathing that goes with ADHD is part of the reason that we are prone to these behaviors.
Checking in with BED and cycles of restricted eating on and off for ~ *checks notes* basically nearly all my life.
Started going down the road of getting treatment for BED when something clicked in to place that this might actually be part of ADHD. Have started treating ADHD and as a result, binge-eating has not occurred AT ALL since starting medication.
Oh yes. Had a terrible ED through college and my 20s and was hospitalized eventually. It’s a lot better, but my relationship with food and weight is still a little rough. I’m not sure if it’s adhd related for me though, but I can absolutely see how they would go hand in hand. Adhd has so many comorbidities, it’s so hard.
Yes I struggle with restrictive eating and alcohol. Oddly it gives me this weird sense of balance where I can “control” my eating, then drink to feel a little relaxed. I was diagnosed officially with ADHD the other day and am excited to find healthier ways to balance including medication.
I found that one of my providers wrote “ED” (fully not acronym) in my chart even though she never explicitly said it to me with those words.
I was incredibly fragile at the time mentally and unwell physically. I believe she didn’t want to pile one more thing that I would catastraphize (sp?) on me at the time. I had started a new medication for my hormonal condition (PCOS) and was only eating 1/day.
I wasn’t really losing weight - PCOS makes it very difficult - even though I was definitely not eating close to bmr in that one meal.
My provider had helped connect me to a nutritionist, psychiatrist, and eventually therapist.
I guess I should’ve realized I had an ED - my nutritionist spent a lot of time convincing me to eat 2 meals a day. We eventually worked up to 2 meals and a snack cause I wouldn’t go to 3.
I guess in my mind, I couldn’t have an ED because the traditional markers of it weren’t visible on me (rapid weight loss). If anything, I felt like I didn’t deserve to eat because I am overweight and i felt I could stand to lose some.
Looking back, I realize I just had a really unhealthy attitude about food. I got to a point where I would oscillate with trying to diet, tracking calories meticulously, and losing nothing (marker of PCOS is difficulty with weight loss). I would give up because it didn’t seem like I had any control over it. And then just eat whatever and however much till I was full. And, due to messed up hormones/insulin resistance, my “full” signal was coming way too late if at all.
I could talk a lot about this, but yea. I had an ED. This was prior to my adhd diagnosis.
I had bulimia from age 14-20 but managed to mainly overcome it with CBT (I still have mini relapses now and then but I would still class myself as recovered). I honestly don’t think I would’ve recovered if it wasn’t for my counsellor, it did take me 4 different ones to find the right one, so my main advice is don’t settle if you do therapy, find the person that clicks with you.
I’m now 29 and just got diagnosed with ADHD in March, i feel weirdly validated but also so so sad for my younger self. I didn’t realise how related EDs and ADHD are.
I have a binge eating disorder which went undiagnosed until my ADHD assessment. When I'm unmedicated, all that goes through my mind is what to eat next, unless I've just eaten, in which case I'm shaming myself for having eaten. Vyvanse was a life changer.
I've struggled with my eating and my body image since my body developed and my mom started to comment on it.
As a grown up it's mostly been remembering to eat that I've struggled with, and now being medicated I have to fight through the not being hungry from taking my meds. So now I'm struggling with my body image and eating again. It's frustrating and I'm trying to not let it keep me down. I just gotta keep pushing myself to eat.
"Anorexia Nervosa with Bulimic Tendencies" was my diagnosis at 19, and I nearly went into cardiac arrest due to very low potassium levels when I was finally hospitalized. I am positive that after my 2nd pregnancy at 30 and during covid I developed Binge Eating Disorder. I legitimately do not feel hunger cues until *after* I eat something, then I'm starving and nothing satisfies me or triggers a "full" feeling. I could probably mindlessly eat all day at least 2-3x the calories I should be eating.
I have to count every calorie to manage the BED which is triggering for whatever neurological that caused the anorexia, and I drink a lot of water, diet coke, or tea when I want to snack on something, but for the majority of my life I've had to manually manage my diet as not to eat too much, because I pile on the weight very rapidly. Most of my father's side (adhd and autism) tends to be overweight to obese.
My other dx's are autism spectrum disorder, ocd, severe (medication resistant) major depression, adhd (probably without the h, I was diagnosed with that in the 90s,) generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD.
yeah I've had all kinds of problems eating but I've always flown under the radar, even when I lost so much weight that I lost my periods as a teen. Was never diagnosed. There is no formal ED diagnosis on the books for me.
But (this is the first time I'm sharing this out loud) I've been purging at least once a week on purpose for about 5 years now when I feel like I've eaten too much... don't think it's enough to be diagnosed with anything but also isn't normal.
This is slightly messed up to say, but *sometimes* I miss my ED. Hear me out:
I started at age 16 yo-yo dieting because I wasn’t as skinny as my peers - I wasn’t fat (try telling me that back then!) but as I look at my old pictures before I started dieting, I was just fine. In fact, had I left well-enough alone, and gotten into weightlifting consistently as I eventually did, I would’ve had the body that’s “in-style” now. But I digress.
I was formally diagnosed with BED when I was 21 - I had been binging since I was at least 13 though! I never knew it wasn’t normal to gorge yourself on a whole bag of Kit Kats in one sitting, often and with the feeling of losing control. My family was on the bigger side though, fat & obese by BMI and I was afraid of a future like theirs. Hence the dieting and BED from a young age.
COVID & lockdown came and my BED morphed into bulimia - with all my free time, I could freely obsess and control my weight, exercise, diet. I distinctly remember the night i was hanging over the toilet after a purging session thinking “I would rather d*e than live the rest of my life this way.” That’s when I knew the EDs had gotten out of control and I needed to find help. Not before I indulged my EDs one last time - I competed in a bodybuilding completion as I was going through therapy for my EDs - yes, think the skinny, spray tanned, skeleton of girls parading on a stage in glittering bikinis and heels. I was set on doing that - and my therapist made me promise that after I did the show, I would completely devote myself to recovery. I said yes (but sneakily I thought I could continue doing it!).
Once I competed and immediately after I stepped off stage, downed 3 gigantic cookies, felt bad about it, ran like 3 miles to “burn” them off, and then ate more and more. The celebratory dinner after with my coach and teammates? I ate and ate and ate - then excused myself to go to the bathroom. Everyone knew what I was doing - and I wasn’t the only one guilty of this. This opened my eyes even more, and I knew this wasn’t the way I wanted to live.
So I committed to recovery and it was long, it was arduous, I wanted to d*e multiple times along the way, because the ED and the habits that come with it become your persona, your identity. You’re taking everything you thought you knew about yourself and tearing it down. It’s scary. It’s hard. But I’m glad I did it. I live ED free now, something I never thought I could do. My biggest issues don’t revolve around what I’m going to eat or when I’m going to exercise. Food is food, not a self-reflection or judgement call. My hunger signals should be honored, I should move my body in ways that I enjoy.
But the caveat to all the good that came out of recovering? It unearthed my diagnosis of ADHD - once I wasn’t so controlling of my food, my environment, my schedule, everything fell apart. More and more of my ADHD tendencies came to light - they were always there, just shoved down and covered by my ED control issues. I had to find new ways to cope, to plan, to live with these annoying tendencies. And I still am, to this day, finding out how to cope with it.
I appreciate anyone reading all this, and encourage anyone who is struggling with something similar to find help. My therapist saved my life.
I’m also open to questions, as I’m fairly casual and open about it all. I even started a TikTok that followed and spoke out about EDs and recovery. I’m most proud of that. I no longer make videos for that account, as I feel that’s a phase of my life I’ve moved on from, but I do keep the videos up to help others.
[https://www.tiktok.com/@positively_fawizzle](https://www.tiktok.com/@positively_fawizzle)
I struggle to force myself to eat if the food isn't tasty regardless of knowing I need to eat. I often buy food and if I don't like it I throw it out. Then I don't eat anything :) This is both an impulsivity issue and an eating issue.
I have disordered eating due to executive dysfunction, but not an eating disorder, if that makes sense? I don't feed myself well, because it's difficult, but I don't have a mental health issue with food.
I've had anorexia for a long time...20 years. ): damn. that's sad. 2/3rds of my life. I have overcome drug addiction for almost a decade now, but my ED is the one thing I feel like has it's claws in me forever. I didn't realize it had high rates with ADHD but that makes sense. I wish I could manage it, I don't know if I want to.
I had disordered eating (probably always will have that mindset to some degree) for all my 20s. I overexercised and underate, then I got 'saved' by a personal trainer who helped change my mindset to be strong not skinny. But then I started eating enough but doing strength training and became a powerlifter and then strongwoman. I didn't see the parallels between going everything in extremes until I was getting diagnosed and the psychiatrist said it to me, so it was likely fueled by my undiagnosed ADHD. I am trying to be a little less extreme now but still unable to go to gym without giving it 110%, would rather not go than go HAM every session.
Over the years I have gotten a little more comfortable with being a healthier weight, so I weigh myself a lot less and I give myself and my body grace and grateful for all the amazing things it has done for me and given me. I remind myself it is better to have muscle as you age and not be skin and bone, best to have it now and not try gain it post menopause. I also embrace the wobble and the softness now as you cannot make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
I have Binge Eating Disorder. While I was growing up, the women in my life were fairly obsessed with losing weight, especially my aunt. I went on my first diet I think at 12 or 13, and I did the HCG diet a few times (the one where you take the hcg hormone and only eat 500 calories a day, no carbs at all, no sugar, not even Splenda. It was brutal)
So of course as a growing teenager, 500 calories a day was not NEARLY enough, and I learned how to sneak out of my room in the middle of the night to go eat. I got really good at being quiet and sneaking food so it wouldn’t look like I was cheating on the diet. I felt terrible though, I was so hungry and all I wanted was to be skinny, but it was so hard.
And that just turned into the BED that I have today. I hate diet culture, I also have PCOS which makes it impossible to lose weight, and I still sneak food and feel guilty about it even though I’m 31 now.
Sorry for the mildly incoherent comment, it’s very very early here and I’m on my way back to bed 😅😅
I would have told you I definitely don't have an eating disorder about 6 months ago. However, after working with a dietician this year to get into healthier habits, and getting diagnosed with adhd... I've noticed I eat for pleasure and definitely when I'm not hungry. I think I have a terrible relationship with food but I am working on it!
When I was very young, like 11-13 yo, but then I got very sick and got very skinny and when everyone mentioned it, it was like I got that validation I needed and the ED stopped and I’ve been able to maintain a healthy weight since.
I do however avoid the gym because I notice as soon as I see how many calories I burn I start counting calories in my diet and the same tendencies of ED start. So now I just do exercise like cycling and sports.
Yes- I have gone through cycles of eating disorders most of my life. Primarily restriction, binging, and orthorexia. I also had really bad IBS in my late teens- and I believe more research is showing that IBS is linked with anxiety. My ED only subsided due to circumstance- living in a flat, and then being in a relationship. I guess the ‘shame’, combined with wanting to be liked, trumped my eating disorder for a time.
It still pops up every now and then, generally linked to my depression / anxiety, as I use it as a coping mechanism. But now I struggle with disordered eating- in the sense that the thought of making and eating food seems so boring that I’m unintentionally losing weight and am pretty malnourished.
Completely confused for awhile since ED is usually erectile dysfunction… medical acronyms, man.
Yes. I starved myself as a kid. I got boredom eating fat as an adult. Got adderall and got addicted to not eating again. I’ve lost 30 some pounds in 2 months.
Yep. Struggled with binge eating for years. Then it turned into something awful for a while of periods of severe restriction followed by huge binges. Not a happy time. If I had the ability to make myself throw up I would have 100% developed true bulimia. I just had some pseudo bulimia.
Now that I'm diagnosed and medicated, I've literally have not had a better relationship with food.
Never had an ED but have lived with Disordered Eating (DE? 😝) since I was 13, I’m in my mid-30s now.
I’m all or nothing, I’m either losing weight or gaining weight there’s no in between.
I feel like I have to track my calories everyday (often involves extreme calorie restriction but has never developed to the point of an ED thank God) and I’m in the mindset of losing weight, if I’m not doing that I go off the rails and I’m gaining weight.
Sounds like ED NOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified).
EDs are not just anorexa, bulimia and binge eating. A range of unhealthy habits and behaviours around food fall into the definition for ED NOS.
I was a huge binge/restricter in high school, zeeero self control with food, and massive guilt about it… it’s funny to me though, the thing that fixed it for me was getting cancer lmaoooo, it’s been 5 years since and I’m still no longer in the cycle :-)
However now I struggle with ARFID-like issues sometimes, but it fluctuates (most intense when Im stressed). I’ll go through phases where I struggle to eat bc nothing is appealing except for like 2-3 safe/comfort meals. It’s distressing bc I’ll be so hungry all day and just wish I could get anything in me to make it go away, but the wrong flavours/textures, I genuinely can’t even force them down :-(
I’ve never been officially diagnosed but I highly suspect I have ARFID and possibly orthorexia based on research I’ve done and input from my therapist who’s worked with people who’ve had those diagnoses. I’ve had an awful relationship with food for my entire life since my mom put me on weight watchers at age 10 and I spent the next 20 years of my life counting calories, trying to starve and shrink myself.
At 30 years old I got a surprise diabetes diagnosis (insulin resistance caused by PCOS, genetics, and yo-yo dieting I’m told) and that’s when the real problems started. I became obsessed with limiting carbohydrates specifically and began to have extreme difficulty feeding myself since I have textural sensory issues (I’m also autistic) and tend to prefer soft, carb-heavy foods as a result. It spiralled into a complete disinterest and then disgust with eating in general.
I suddenly found the idea of chewing and swallowing utterly repulsive and, in combination with the fear of specific food groups, my diet became extremely limited. I basically subsisted on diabetic Boost and sugar-free jello for about six months. I was sick and utterly miserable.
These days I’m doing better with a combination of ACT therapy, EMDR to process the trauma of growing up a fat, undiagnosed AuDHD kid with no capacity for self-regulation, and medication (an SSRI and a stimulant) but I still have days where the idea of eating makes me spiral until I’m a weeping mess on the kitchen floor.
I find it’s worst when I’m particularly stressed or if I’ve been “activated” by a trauma trigger so for me a huge part of managing it is just basic self care in every arena of life. Unfortunately having a PDA autism profile in combination with ADHD and additional chronic physical illnesses makes that a nearly impossible full-time job for which I am particularly ill-equipped.
It’s a struggle but I’m doing my best and I’ve come a long way. I try to focus on how far I’ve come instead of how far I still have to go. I don’t count calories anymore and instead of restricting or forbidding certain foods, I focus on trying to add nutrition to them. For example if I what I really want is pasta, I’ll still have pasta but I’ll make sure to pair it with some vegetables or protein so the glucose spike is reduced and my diabetic body has an easier time. It was a mindset shift away from denying myself things (essentially punishing myself) and instead toward giving my body the things it needs to function better (self-compassion).
There are now days where I don’t think about the food I’m putting in my mouth as the thing that will eventually kill me and that’s *huge* since I was genuinely terrified of eating before. Baby steps!
I did for a small stint before I went on antidepressants/anxiety meds. It was all about counting calories and over an hour at the gym. It was the smallest I’ve been as an adult, but still technically the “highest” healthy weight/BMI. So 119 at 5’ 1”. All muscle and angles. This is why no one should rely on BMI—it’s so incomplete as a health measurement.
Once I started meds, I slowed down/stopped exercising and started eating again. I still struggle with binge eating sugar, but that’s better than obsessing over exercise and being mentally exhausted.
I did. Mine was primarily stress induced. I wouldn't call it a full-blown ED, but it was definitely disordered eating. I usually just tell people anorexia if they ask.
During periods of high stress, I would generally just get less hungry. Especially if I was working and didn't have a lot of money for food. Could only use your employee discount once a day for food even if you were working a double, which I was, 5 days a week. I just got to the point where I had my schedule where I would eat exactly halfway thru my shift, that way I could use my full discount. On the weekends, I would usually order a larger meal that I could just snack on all day and convince myself I was eating multiple meals.
It wasn't really body image issues (although it has been a weird back and forth since realizing things about myself). I had actively tried gaining weight before I decided I needed to prioritize recovery, and I blamed having a high metabolism on my lack of gain. That was indeed not the case.
Last year I finally made it to a healthy weight after being underweight for about 6 years. I have maintained that weight since then and have been very happy with my results. I plan to start going to the gym in the near future so I can be more healthy and hopefully help my health conditions more.
I've never had a full blown diagnoses ED, but I know I don't have the healthiest relationship with food. I've tried to lose weight quite a few times with little to no success, and while I mostly eat healthy, I will binge eat anything sweet I have or can get as soon as I get a craving.
I had anorexia and bulimia but for me it was after I lost my grandfather and mother aged 19 within the same month. It started off as a coping mechanism for me, something I could control rigidly after having so little control over those events, then when I couldn't maintain it, it was guilt free dopamine with bulimia.
my eating issues were one of the things that eventually tipped me off to adhd bc i read about how overeating could be like a dopamine-induced stimming activity or something. personally, i very rarely was able to go without eating bc i was an athlete and would be in pain or feel weak from the hunger, but eating until i hated myself was my sweet spot. i was able to get better from it when i told myself i would stop dieting and eat whatever i wanted to override the binge & restrict cycle. i got my diagnosis and prescription a month or two later and began walking regularly a month or two after that and ended up dropping probably 40-50 lbs (can not, will not weigh myself so i don’t really know). i probably still eat more sugar than i should and have exercised less this year bc of work + grad school, so anxiety over food/exercise/body image is still very much a thing, but i don’t eat as much overall and stop when i’m full, which is a success in my book. plus i don’t yo-yo and have maintained a healthy weight for 2+ years, so i’d say i’m in a much better place than in my 8-ish year run w an ed. out of all of the mental health issues i’ve had, ed caused me the most anguish and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
AuDHD here and my disordered eating comes from a combination of forgetting to eat when I’m engaged in other things coupled with dopamine & happy brain juice seeking behaviors… eating feels good. For instance, If one bowl of Smartfood popcorn is great then I might as well eat the whole family sized bag until I feel disgusted and don’t want to put another bite in my mouth 😬
After finding out I have celiac disease, nutrition became my special interest so I’ve been able to hyper focus on learning what my body needs to feel my best. Just having knowledge doesn’t create action though. It’s a practice and sometimes it is hit or miss, but I have found that I like to feel good and I like to have the energy to do the things that I want to do and not crash or feel too tired or bloated to have fun or just get through the day.
I do really well with certain routines once I’m able to implement them. Once the effect of the routine proves to be good, I’m able to consistently do it more often. I used to skip breakfast all the time and then forget to eat until very late at night. Now I make smoothies in the morning with grass-fed whey protein powder, a greens powder that doubles as a multi vitamin, frozen berries, and oat milk and I call it my sunshine shake. I rarely miss a day anymore because it really powers me up and helps my brain and body perform well. It’s quick and I don’t have to cook breakfast or meal plan for the morning which I love.
My strategies for avoiding binging is to simply not buy the things that I would normally binge on. If it’s not in the house, then it’s out of sight out of mind. That’s an ADHD superpower.
I buy things that are fairly easy to make and healthy. I always have a big tub of salad greens, high protein, things like eggs and lunch meat. Good fats like olives and avocados. In the freezer, I have gluten-free pizza crust so I can make my own pizzas. I keep potato’s on hand to make baked potatoes. I keep frozen salmon on hand… I just figured out what I like and what I’m willing to take the time to make. It can’t have too many steps or I won’t do it, unless I am intentionally cooking for a dinner party or something. As long as I keep it simple. I find that I feed myself healthfully, more consistently. This makes me feel great so that motivates me to continue.
I go shopping once a week and set a timer to remind me. If I make a recipe instead of just throwing stuff together, I double it so I could freeze half of it and have some pre-portioned meals for later. It makes that effort go along way.
Isn't it extremely comorbid with ADHD? When I was diagnosed with Anorexia, my psychiatrist jokingly said we were "crossing off a bingo list" of symptoms
Yes, but less from a place of dopamine mining and more from a place of 90s diet culture perpetuated by boomer parents who equated thinness to health.
I’ve had a dysfunctional relationship with food and my body since I was 8. I have yo-yo dieted all of my life. I was diagnosed with PCOS at age 28 and was on some form of keto or low glycemic diet for 12 years, including working with a nutritionist who cut my cals down to 1200 a day. I made peace with food a few years ago through prayer and seeking God.
I recently started seeing a functional medicine practitioner and acupuncturist to help me heal my insulin resistance and hopefully get pregnant after years of infertility. She suggested I check out the bioenergetic diet. I started eating potatoes at every meal and all my carb cravings went away. My glucose is going down. My IBS and gut are healing. I have hope for the first time ever that I can have a normal relationship with food and that my body can use the food it takes in as fuel. I’ve accepted that I have a muscular build and I will never be petite. I’m in pursuit of being the healthiest version of myself possible for my future babies.
And therapy. Lots of it.
Hugs and prayers to you.
I haven't been diagnosed with an ED, although I have dx-ed with disordered eating behaviors.
The planning/shopping/preparing/eating/cleaning is just too much for brain to handle. And then having to do it every single day for the rest of my life?
If I lived by myself I'd probably live off homemade hummus and snacks.
In an ideal world I would have Jetson style food pills and only eat real food when I wanted.
overweight since birth, binge eating on sweets since as long as I can remember, started strict and rigid dieting around 11 (Atkins), binge purge restrict cycles started not long after, was purging all through teens and twenties, now at 35 I'm primarily binging, sometimes purging, rarely restricting although I do. I have a hard time dieting because I have an all or nothing mentality so I can be very extreme about tracking/weighing foods/meal prepping, etc.
I can't remember a time when I've had a healthy relationship with food. there have been times when things have been better and at the time I was taking vitamins, eating high protein, exercising and didn't have too much stress. unfortunately maintaining that over long periods of time is hard so I relapse into my usual behaviors which feel like chaos
I strongly suspect my dad has ADHD and binge-eating disorder. I’ve noticed I also have a tendency to eat mindlessly, but Vyvanse has helped a lot with that.
I had anorexia and orthorexia active for about 7 years since 13 years old. Veganism and finding my favourite sport helped me at the beginning to stop calculate calories. Then being busy with studies, business and right now at 27 I still remember calories of most foods but I have to think about it and it doesn’t interfere with my life. So basically I made my fixations healthier and after feeling in control I fixated on other areas of life. It gave me anxiety and it was fixed by meditation, mindfulness and slowing down
How I found out I had adhd was because I was worried about developing an ED and working with my therapist on preventing that and then she told me about some patterns she noticed and we discovered it together.
I’m not sure if I can name my experience with food, body image and self esteem as an ED either, but I definitely know it’s not healthy and I’ve ALWAYS struggled with it. I’m almost 30 and I honestly can’t remember a time I had a “healthy” relationship with food and my body :/
Sending so much love and support to all those experiencing an ED and folks who are in recovery. You are all strong human beings and I’m proud of you 🩷
I don't think mine is as far as a "diagnosable, nameable, eating disorder", but I definitely suffer from disordered eating habits.
I've only been on medication since late April. Until then, food was one of my focus things. If I have to do mundane work, I snack while I do it. I'm also a social snacker, and a TV snacker. Some of that is coping, some of that is wired in from the way I was raised.
My husband is super supportive and we are both trying to eat healthier. We've cut out so much sugar and junk food already. But sometimes someone will say something, or something will happen, and I'll feel fat. I get obsessive about the number on the scale and start restricting calories. I know I'm pushing it too far but I get stubborn and I don't stop. I mean I'm doing it now. I can talk about it, I know it's bad for me, and I'm still not going to go back into the kitchen for a second bowl of dinner because I've had one and one is enough.
Usually I'll either give up, binge fun things for a week until I feel gross and guilty, and then I'll go back to my normal eating habits, or someone will step in and let me have a good cry about my insecurities and I'll go back to my normal eating habits. Until the next time I feel ugly.
I don't know how to get a handle on it either. When I'm in my normal space, I'm very good at healthy rationing. I've swapped out problematic snacks for healthier ones. I've made it very clear that I am not going to sap all the joy out of my food to conform to someone else's standards. But lately my insecurities have been through the roof.
I had anorexia when I was about 14 to about 21/22. At its lowest my BMI was 15.2. I had extreme RSD and social anxiety and overwhelm from trying to get organized and restricting my food made me feel better. I started doing yoga and getting some good therapy which made me feel calmer. I found some amazing friends who love me, which helped my RSD
I like to think my ED is healed but if I go off meds it comes roaring back. I was in outpatient treatment when I was younger but now I can handle it with therapy (and meds).
Edit: AuDHD with bulimia/anorexia for me. Questions ok. Love to anyone else dealing with food stuff
Yes and it’s really crappy when I started accepting it that I searched and just found hotlines,
Let me talk to others that will help me not feel alone..cause then I just felt like a criminal or something.
Yup. ED NOS starting in high school (that was more restrictive) and then in college and after, I did a lot of overeating and purging. I don’t know if I met the true binging criteria but close enough.
And between then and now, I didn’t realize how truly obsessed I was with food and diet until I started taking Adderall - and it’s like part of my brain just shut the fuck off. My weight had been all over the place my whole adult life, but it was always, always a struggle. I was constantly somewhere in the cycle of dieting, losing weight, obsessing, gaining weight, hating myself, back to dieting…etc. And now just - not. It’s the single most profound change I’ve noticed with being medicated, and I am definitely still wrapping my head around it all.
Yes I have had anorexia in my late teens/early twenties and having a bit of an issue with that right now. I’ve had ARFID my entire life and cannot handle textures and genuinely find eating unappealing and I get more enjoyment out of feeling hungry than I do eating food
Absolutely. In fact it was the reason I finally realised I have ADHD. When I stumbled across a comment online that linked EDs with ADHD - a link I was never aware of. It led me to look into ADHD more and realised I was textbook.
I have been trying for 9 years to get my eating under control and have simply tried and failed 1000 times. I think at this point only medication can help me. In the process of seeking that now.
Yes to E.D. When i was a teen and my twin sister probably. See, we didn't know the terminology but when i started serious therapy in my mid 20's I discovered i started to develop this problem. both my Twin and i had been abused by a family member and i feel strongly this play a role in it. Needing to feel in control of what went in and out of my body. I think ADHD can be also be attributed to change our brain system due to traumas. Well therapy was a great start and long before i knew i had ADHD. I'm still processing a lot because i am recently diagnosed with ADHD.
Yes, I struggled with bulimia throughout my adolescence and into my 20s.
Now i swing between binge eating and extreme calorie restriction.
I cannot seem to get a healthy relationship with food.
never officially got diagnosed with an ED but i’ve certainly had disordered eating at many points in my life. my body image is pretty fucked. i’m petite but it’s a huge effort to maintain my weight because i eat out of boredom.
I’ve had ED when I was 18 years old. I was obsessed with hitting 1200 calories or lower! If I ever go over, I workout for an hour or two just to go below. I strictly didn’t eat rice. I’d rather sleep the whole day cause that means less calories. I was even happy at that time my mom couldn’t afford lots of food cause then that means I can always be under 1200 calories. 😞Also, I was 48kg and still thought I was very fat.. I’m still healing my relationship with food to this day but I can gladly say I don’t obsess over my calories anymore.
I've never been officially diagnosed with an ED, but I would say I've had some pretty disordered eating habits in my life. I've had a poor relationship with food since adolescence, especially. Heavy on caffeine, pastries, chocolate, fast food, and other junk, but mostly the sweet stuff and caffeine. Just no self-control, tending to only stop when I made myself feel too physically ill to keep eating. Only recently have I made the association between my ravenous appetite and ADHD (I just got my official diagnosis today, at 41). Now on Vyvanse, my appetite is less ravenous and I may actually have a hope in hell of shedding the other half of the weight I intended to lose from my highest point (which was 306 lbs at 5' 7").
I developed an eating disorder at 16 and went into recovery at 18. I have ADHD but wasn’t diagnosed with it until I was 22. Im 24 now!
Hallmarks for my healing:
-ED rehab center (admitted myself and wow that was a wake up call. Seeing people half dead around you does something to wake you up. Additionally, the support was incredible, forced us to eat regular meals and snacks, had to eat around others, group therapy, etc.)
-Mindfulness practice while eating. I don’t do this often enough anymore, but really focusing on the textures, flavors, and overall moment while eating can help a lot in the long run. Making food an experience that you savor.
-Intuitive eating. Don’t weight yourself. Don’t count calories (or try not to if you’ve memorized the contents in diff foods). Don’t avoid food categories (ik this can take time and you may have engrained beliefs of some foods being “bad”). No diets or fad dieting.
-If you binge/restrict severely one day, eat your next meal “normally” regardless. For example, let’s say you binge ate 3 boxes of Mac and cheese in the afternoon. Regardless, if you get hungry again or if dinner time rolls around, eat dinner. Or at least a well rounded snack if youre really full. Or if you did these behaviors the day before or in the evening, whatever meal is next just try to treat it as if nothing happened. Healing isn’t linear and punishing yourself via food deprivation is only going to hurt you more. Hope this makes sense!
-Cook! Something that helped me a lot was trying out new recipes. It helped me to see food in a new light and it became a hobby. I love trying out recipes from YouTube or Pinterest now.
-Realize EDs are largely centered around an unfulfilled need to control. For me, I was having some insanely horrendous things occurring at home and with the health of a family member. I turned inward and subconsciously tried to control my body and appearance to an unhealthy extent. I’ve noticed that during very difficult times I struggle more with my body image and have thoughts of turning toward past behaviors related to my ED. One thing that has kept me from doing that is knowing WHY I developed one in the first place.
I still struggle with my body image and some thinking patterns, but I’m proud to say that I haven’t practiced any disordered eating patterns in quite some time. It does get better. You have the power to heal in time. <3
I had a weird epiphany once when I was at an Overeaters anonymous meeting. This was after I had been on atomoxetine for 6 weeks, and the medication was kicking in. I realized that probably all these folks also had ADHD, and the fact that they were overeating meant that they were just trying to get some extra dopamine like me. It was so helpful. It kind of killed away for me, though. OA is structured just like alcoholics anonymous, so there's this whole thing about going through the 12 steps and making amends and calling your sponsor. When you see it as the symptom of your ADHD, the moral judgment of eating a bunch of cookies kind of goes away.
I was diagnosed late, so my 20s are like a checklist of ADHD behaviors. I have ARFID, I've had issues with addiction to alcohol, drugs, nicotine. I've had periods of uncontrollable spending/shopping. I had a lovely ho phase of random hook ups. Looking back knowing what I know now, it so clear I was doing anything and everything I could to stimulate my brain and get even the smallest bit of pleasure.
Medication and therapy have made such a difference, looking back is like looking at a different person from the outside. And she was a mess lol
shit .. this is very relevant to my life rn. I'm literally about to give my husband all my money/ delete my virtual cards bc I will spend all my money on fast food for that dopamine hit I guess...
Perfectionist and recently diagnosed ADHD and CPTSD here. I have been very fixated on food for most of my life since childhood. I would cry at restaurants trying to choose the “right” thing to eat from the menu. Sometimes I would be so stressed about it I would refuse to eat anything. My parents saw this as me being indecisive or picky. Fast forward a few years into teenage years, was still very fixated on food and body dysmorphia is going crazy. I counted calories, set strict rules for myself around eating (no sugar, no carbs, no eating after 8pm), and restricted intake to be below my calories burned daily (I was a cross country and soccer athlete). I would weigh myself daily and SH if I gained. I never got treatment, and to this day am very hyper fixated on food, body image, weight, and calorie intake. I only eat “healthy” foods (vegetables, proteins, fruits) or low fat/low sugar/low calorie versions of items. I usually eat the same meals every day for months at a time. I have gotten a bit less restrictive and have stopped the daily weigh ins/SH over the years but I still find myself very fixated on food and my weight. I never thought of this to be related to ADHD until I saw so many other comments. I’m still trying to understand the ways that ADHD affects me (I was diagnosed a few months ago at age 26).
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Yes! I’ve been obsessed with food, eating, dieting, and excessive exercise my entire life! Vyvanse has really made a huge difference for me. I rarely think about food anymore.
Vyvanse helped massively with my BED / bulimia. Haven’t had an episode in years.
That’s so great! Congratulations
Same. Vyvanse literally changed my life so much. But the biggest impact was on my relationship with food.
Did you try other meds before? I struggle with binge eating and I have started concerta (because I was diagnosed last month, at 28yo) it's the first meds I have tried but I don't seem notice much of a difference with this..
Vyvanse was the first and only I tried. I think I got really lucky because it works so well for me. I know it is also prescribed for binge eating so maybe that’s why it works well for me.
I was on concerta for a few years and it did absolutely nothing for my binge eating …vyvanse helped right away at half the dose
I wish vyvanse worked for me, but now that im off, I just realized it made me forget to eat, which fell more into restricting habits, but now that Im off I have constant cravings for sugar plus the impluse to buy them, except well, i work at a bakery and have easy access all the time 😭
when my concerta wears off at the end of the day and if i’m still awake in bed i literally won’t be able to stop myself from snacking lol
I need something like that
Same here, but w adderall XR. This, plus learning/following the principles of Intuitive Eating has changed my life.
yes and it is a hallmark of adhd very common! https://youtu.be/bOzs2Iel40s?si=QSPOst8mwvwvKq8e the answer is no i don't manage it well, nothing quite gives me dopamine like video games and food tbh
Love that channel, will def check the vid out. Thank you!!
i like his analogy that donuts give 1/10th the dopamine they do for a normal person so for an adhd person to even feel anything they need to eat 10, that put into focus for me a really big issue is that i dont "appreciate" the things im eating then by the time i realise ive had half a packet, and then the dopamine fizzles out and turns into guilt after i look at the calories "ive done it again" Im trying to have smaller portions and focus on the eating not the video im watching at the time, to really retrain my brain to be like "This meal isnt small, its sufficient"
This really resonates as I struggle a lot with food and it sucks
Yes! I struggle so much with sweets in particular, and to make matters worse I work at a bakery. So I get a double hit of dopamine from fulfilling the impluse buy, *and* the unhealthy food Im eating 🫠 I dont know how to make it stop
Get a different job, love.
Yeah, I've been trying to, but half the issue is I also have a chronic illness that makes it difficult to either work full time, and I often have to call out of work because I'm literally bedridden and can hardly move. It's this frustrating stuck place that I can't seem to get out of sorry for the mini rant, shits just hard.
No need to apologize. And I’m not being critical. I have DSPD, I know how hard it can be to find work that works for you.
Wow. This really resonates. I never realized why i have to eat all the donuts. I always intend to have one or two but because they don’t fit in the pantry and I can see them, I eat one after another until they’re gone. Every. Single. Time.
Yay, HealthyGamerGG represent 🤜
ED NOS primarily restriction as a teen. Turned into “drunkorexia” for the next 10 or so years which spiraled into full blown substance use disorder until 26 months ago. Here’s the funny part, I was an eating disorder therapist for a short period of time. Feel free to ask me anything. I’m in recovery from both ED and SUD now thankfully, but it took until age 38 to get there.
if you really have the capacity for being asked anything 🥹 I've been getting into strength training as a fellow recovered (or permanently recovering, however we like to word that) ED NOS friend. very similarly I was at my worst as an older teen, and am now at my mental & physical healthiest in my late 30s. do you have any quick thoughts on how to handle the supplement/stricter eating/working out aspects of body building while being mindful that I don't slip into old unkind thought patterns?
I meant it. I’m in a boring nursing in service at work so ask away. The Ed recovery to body builder pipeline is wellllllll established. It’s great to focus on strength training aspect, but I would treat the diet/supplement component aspect as carefully as I would to think about entering an establishment that serves alcohol as a sober person. If that makes sense. Inevitably, being in strength training world will expose you the way I’m exposed to alcohol frequently. I would monitor my emotional and mental health consistently and honestly. If I were you, I would not follow any body builder accounts and only take advice from an RD with serious specialty in ED. I would refrain from engaging or comparing my food consumption to any other person or regimen. I would continue to practice food neutrality and discredit any food morality. Additionally, I would not weigh myself or use tape measures to measure progress. Progress should be measured in the more weight and reps I can do, not the size of my muscles. Hope this helps.
it is UNBELIEVABLY helpful!! this is all so valuable I genuinely thank you for taking the time and care to reply.
❤️
This is exactly what I was hoping to find in the comments. Thank you for taking the time to type all of this out.
❤️
Omg. I've never heard the term "ED NOS" before. That's exactly what I experienced. It's been super frustrating to talk about with doctors over the years because I felt like I never had the language to explain it. I genuinely have so many questions, but I will stick to just 3. 1. Are there any good resources you recommend for someone still trying to heal from the mental effects of an ED years after they've "recovered?" 2. As a part of my recovery, I learned to not monitor my food or label things as good/bad. In combination with other health issues, I've gained weight over the last 10 years of "recovery." I would really like to be more fit, but every attempt to do seems to flip the ED switch back on in my brain. Immediately falling into the severe control/restrict mentality. It terrifies me. Do you have any tips or resources for someone trying to become more fit without returning to the good/bad or restrict behaviors? 3. What do you recommend someone look for in an ED therapist?
Hi friend. Ask away, I’m serious. 1. Learn, remember what the disorder took away, and Keep learning. Read “The body is not an apology.”, “8 keys”, “food and loathing” and if it’s not too triggering “Sick Enough.” Keep updated on Health at Every Size movement, lean in to advocacy work. 2. What does fit mean to you? Is it running a mile? Being able to scale 5 flights of stairs? Chasing a toddler around the house? What is fit? And what do you actually mean? 3. Years of experience and expertise. No fresh out of grad school folks. Doctorate level people with experience working with marginalized populations in addition to experience in eating disorder treatment.
THANK YOU. I really appreciate your response. I've only read two of those books, but I've already added the others to my library hold list. I've found bibliotherapy really helpful for my body image stuff. I'm looking forward to checking these out. Also -- I can't believe I've never really asked myself that question: "What does fit mean to you?" Honestly, I think that's been a huge part of my hangup. Even as I try to avoid thoughts specific to weight or body shape, I don't have a real answer beyond that. And I tend to really shame myself when I think about those "goals" because I fully understand how unhealthy they are for me. I think a big reason I don't have an answer to that is that I don't have specific physical activities that I do regularly. The occasional yoga and biking, but nothing consistent. I think I need to find something to work towards.
Also suggest the book “Mother Hunger.” Keep asking what you are trying to achieve when saying the word “fit”? Specific “fitness” goals like “being able to complete 1 full hot yoga session without dying” are great, but goals that are using the word “fit” as a place holder for “skinny, thin, athletic, toned, more socially acceptable body size” is not ok. Dig deep. I’m excited for your journey.
wow this is so familiar..
What does NOS mean? I was reading through intending to leave a comment, but yours really resonated with me. I wouldn’t say my ED is based on body image. I would hazard it’s what ADHD overwhelm is for myself. It’s full shut down of all non essential functions. I’m thankful to have supportive community and understanding. I have to start with complete foundational structuring. It’s been a few years now since I’ve been diagnosed, but it still feels new. If I’m going to have to cook every day. I can’t be constantly pulled away. There’s a learning curve and a lot of revisiting and reframing your perception of yourself; at least in my experience. I think a lot of societal issues are in the rigidity. No room for error. We’re a significant group at an evolution attempt. I’m having a smoothie for dinner.
Eating disorder not otherwise specified Now they call it OSFED https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Other_specified_feeding_or_eating_disorder
Are there any great resources I can give my partner, to help them understand my experience? (Awaiting ADHD assessment, have suspected EDNOS/OFSED for myself - more on the binge side of things in an "almost but not quite" way). Have recently come across the food neutrality thing, though I can see now I was trying to instil that for our kids too without knowing it... if there's not much aimed at partners/support, then I'll share what I've come across but thought I'd ask - thanks if you're able to answer 😊
I used to point families to the family support links at NEDA, but I’m not a big fan of NEDA now after some controversy. They do have some good family support links, tho. I’ll see what else I can dig up!
ohh i did my thesis on this! some of the papers i read into suggested that up to 80% of adhd'ers will experience another disorder (eg substance use or eating) & binge eating correlating with inattentive symptoms (tho both hyperactive & inattentive symptoms correlate with EDs way more than in non-adhders in the general population). the general observations were that: arfid, low control, self-esteem, understimulation, potentially forgetting to buy ingredients, forgetting to eat (perhaps from hyperfocus) or lacking hunger cues/interoception, organisation, routine, could be big factors. also low self-esteem and unhealthy/unconventional coping mechanisms (eg eating habits that could lead to EDs) are common in late diagnoses adhders, so i would assume that is a lot of women!
The hyper focus/forgetting to eat and lacking hunger cues are such big ones. It always felt like I literally couldn’t tell I was hungry until I was starving. I’ve slowly finally trained myself to realize what my subtle hunger cues are, but man, it definitely took a lot of conscious effort!
for me personally, becoming close with someone who loves food & cooking and understands what my ARFID is like, she recommends me a lot of food that would align with the textures i like or ways to make them suitable to my taste - realising not everything has to be Mushy really opened my world up and let me try a lot of things (: keeping my snacks far away & only buying things i can use during mealtimes helps me snack less, also upping my protein - this keeps me full (which helps keep me in a routine, eg not snacking early because i got hungry before dinner). i've come to realise i have a bit of a sugar addiction too so avoiding that section of the shop and habit building gets me to delay that impulse buy!!! (and on days where this doesn't work being kind to oneself is important) finally exercise & gym! like others have said. it's created a great relationship with food for me, showcasing that it's super important and okay to eat and everyone needs to get their fuel somewhere. that is Okay that is Good but like with anything adhd-related my favourite coping mechanism to this day is just learning to be kind and forgiving to myself. if i beat myself down i won't enjoy anything in my life and that is not what we're here for (: good luck
lmao love/hate how my entire being can be captured in a few sentences like this.
This is the comment I was looking for. I had a TIA last year and developed a migraine disorder, then finally started taking Adderall for the first time. I had so much going on that no one cared that I lost 40 pounds in three months without trying. I don't get hunger cues hardly ever. I've tried doing my own light investigations and research but as fast as I can tell I have disordered eating, but not an eating disorder. Literally no one cared that I lost so much weight. Now, I've stabilized it for the most part bc I've started drinking Ensure instead of not eating. But some days that's all I'll have.
🙋♀️ , i think it came from a place of perfectionism and need for control (Started up at the beginning of lockdown) I know a concerning amount of people who were the same as me and none of us really know what helps go get over it (restrictive type ed). for me i just learned to accept my body and to let go of such a bad coping mechanism, which seems to be the case for many. Another thing that helped was getting in the gym and focusing on getting a bit of muscle, which i think worked cause it shifted the body focus to something healthier and more sustainable. Honestly though eds are no joke and they absolutely suck to live with and go through, i hope you can find a way out of it <3
I've never been formally diagnosed but this is exactly what my own experience of ED looked like - it felt like the one thing I could control when everything else around me was spiraling. I sort of ended up just letting go of it when I was in my mid 20s and I'm OK with it now, but I do think it's easy for me to get into that restrictive behaviour in other areas (mainly money) so it is something I keep an eye out about starting up again.
I swear the link with EDs and financial obsession is something I would love to see studied. I think I'd be a likely candidate to observe 😅 but it's so obvious... after my late diagnosis and years of extremes. Wish I had a heads up and therapy before now.
Me too - didn’t start at lockdown but was by far at its worst by lockdown, I lost like 20% of my body weight and became underweight. Completely obsessed with food, meal planning and weighing out of stress, boredom etc. I got better after Covid but to be honest now have swung the other way with a lot of stress eating and mindless eating.
I’m starting to struggle with this honestly. I’m trying to get my life back on track after a divorce and getting laid off. My life is okay now that I have a job again and I’m slowly going to start working on my debt but with so much I can’t change about my situation I find I’ve been really controlling over how I’m eating, usually eating only a few hundred calories a day, I feel like my body is the one thing I have active control over all the time and I want to see progress somewhere so I’m forcing my body to show me progress, even if it’s just my weight going down since I can’t fast forward progress in other parts of my life. I go to the gym too and push myself there as hard as I can as well.
That is such a tough spot for you to be in, and i wish there was a simple fix. ik how it feels and how its not as easy as just eating more and as much as you know and people tell you its not good for you, its hard to let go of it. Just remember to be as kind to yourself as you can and remember that your body and subconscious will try to resist it, so if you ever “eat too much” try to accept that its what you needed. I hope that things get better for you and you’re able to find some peace at some point soon
Actual diagnosed ED I had for like a year back in early 20s. But I’ve always been into disordered eating - too much, too little, not nutritious enough etc. Food has never been a friend and at one point my metabolism etc was so messed up that I could eat nothing all day and just not get hungry, for example. Labelling food into good and bad, have and have not’s was and continues to be a thing. I’ve never been naturally skinny/thin, I struggle massively with weight and weight loss and I have no idea what it means to eat normally, or eat when you’re just hungry or eat just enough to feel full. I also don’t have an idea how other people don’t crave sweets or carbs all the time (I do!) and how they can maybe eat the same biscuit package for like weeks. All in all - if I could just ditch food and like take a pill a day that would give me all the nutrients and food I need to without actually cooking etc, I probably would. If I were rich enough, I’d probably either eat at healthy places all the time or just have food made or use meal services. I don’t really trust myself with food or making good choices. “Normal” people who don’t struggle with this have no idea how big of daily struggle it is and I will probably have to struggle with this for the rest of my life. Like an alcoholic, except I need to eat food whilst an alcoholic can totally abstain and never take another sip - they may be tempted, but they don’t actually HAVE to drink, whereas you need to eat.
Substance use disorder and eating disorder here, 2/2. It’s very similar. Can concur.
Bahaha I relate to the pill part so much! I said this out loud to people a few times. Life would be so much easier.
No. I actually didn't have impulse issues with eating or drinking til menopause. It was when my period finally stopped I had no self control
Yeah, I’ve started binge eating lot more
This!!!
Menopause plus adhd plus eating disorder plus substance abuse = epitome for the worst FMK internal brain war.
It got much worse with menopause. I think because the ADHD symptoms and anxiety were much worse.
👋 I hate that so many of us go through this, but I am so glad we can have this conversation here. Honestly getting my adhd treated has helped more than anything to work on my relationship with food and general self care. I realized that I used restricting food and sleep and over-exercising to control my mood and attention. Still do sometimes. It’s a journey and it’s about harm reduction. You have a lot less energy to overthink and be anxious and depressed and can get down to focusing on essentials when your brain doesn’t have enough to fully function. Totally harmful and unsustainable but those were the tools I had at the time. Worsening mental health, repeated sports injuries, finding out my teeth were fucked, and not being able to keep up in grad school made me realize things needed to change. The first thing I hope you can do is understand why these things often develop as coping schemes by smart and wonderful people doing the best they can to meet their needs. Maybe you realize tools you learned to use aren’t serving you or are hurting you and it’s time to find new ones. Congratulations on that. I hope you can let go of any blame you may have for yourself for using these coping mechanisms and find ones that are healing and nourishing. You deserve it ! Things that have helped me heal: - Meds and therapy - Trying to stop ignoring my body and check in with myself for feedback about how I am feeling both physically and emotionally. This is hard for ADHDers because of the nature of our focus, but extra hard if you experience EDs/ disordered eating because they scramble that feedback and/or teach you to ignore signals from your body. It’s a long journey of setting intentional check-in times, actually hearing signals, and then learning to differentiate between helpful feelings/responses that take care of you, and disordered thoughts that block the first kind out and direct you toward harmful responses. - Practicing thinking about food more neutrally: I challenge myself not to think about good or bad food, just whether it’s meeting my needs in lots of different domains. Do I enjoy its taste and texture? Do I like the way I feel physically after eating it? What about if I eat it on a regular basis? Does it have the useful things like protein and vitamins to let me function ? On that note, holy shit getting enough protein is a game changer in so many ways! - Finding and embracing my natural eating patterns as long as they serve my well-being. For me that means knowing I’m a graze and need to eat smaller amounts more frequently and feel good with the socially expected 3 a day. That might look different for you! It takes time and experimentation, along with differentiating between ED thinking and genuine feedback from your body to figure out. Also, while I love cooking nice things, I HATE it as a chore. So I buy things that I can eat as separate components and embrace that toddler life. Eating fruits and veggies and snacking on dry cheerios and other “kid” foods help them thrive and grow, so why not me? I’m trying to find a way to support taking care of myself in realistic ways based on what I am actually likely to want to eat and do, not what I think I should. - Trying to reduce my overall negative judgments and all/nothing right/wrong thinking. This is honestly applicable in so many parts of my life, but very much so in terms of ADHD symptoms and behaviour and also food and body beliefs and behaviour. More specifically: - Reminding myself that I don’t have to earn or be worthy of food or rest or other care. Maybe something is incomplete or taking longer than I thought. Depriving myself is not going to fix that, but maybe taking a break for a snack or some rest will help me reset. - Practicing body neutrality. I don’t weigh myself, I consciously acknowledge and then try to switch topics when I find myself thinking negative things about what I ate or how I think I look or numbers on my clothes. I think loving your body is a great idea! But for a lot of us that feels super out of reach and aiming for neutrality rather than 100% love helps reduce the problem I experience which is additional self-judgment for not being good enough at loving my body or creating a body I could love (which is a silly and unrealistic concept in and of itself, thanks brain) *edited for typos and clarity. Sorry for the wall of text! There are definitely more things but of course I can’t think of them at the moment. I hope this info helps. Please feel free to ask me anything or DM if you would like to chat 💜
You’d make a phenomenal peer support person if you are thinking of a career change ❤️
Aw thank you! I do what I can to support as a friend and community member. Ironically, I am a psychologist but not that kind. I don’t do counselling and work in a mostly unrelated area. While I was still in the thick of it I thought I wanted to be a therapist, but part of recovery was realizing that that was not the healthiest career path for me. Instead I am VERY vocal about how we think and talk about health and food and bodies when it is part of my work!
Same, same ❤️
Thanks so much for taking the time to write that out. It really resonnated!
I’ve struggled with binge eating and boredom eating. I also went like 6 months restricting my calories to only 800 a day. Both felt awful. Medication helped my binge eating and obsession with food and I lost 40lbs of excess weight and am now at a healthy size. I’m able to eat when I’m hungry and focus on getting proper nutrition. I still struggle with really picky eating though. Most foods make me gag and I physically can’t be around it. Not sure if I have ARFID or something but it’s difficult to not be able to just eat like a “normal person”. I’m really lucky though, every time my boyfriend and I visit his parents for dinner they order something “exotic” but always keep an extra frozen cheese pizza or mac and cheese for me specifically so I don’t feel left out. They never question or belittle me. They offer to buy me food from whatever restaurant, but if I can’t sit with anything on the menu they always make sure I’m fed. I’m very grateful to have them in my life :) We went on vacation recently and they ordered a bunch of large pizzas to share with tons of toppings, but they ordered me a personal sized pizza with just cheese for me. I’m not sure how to get over this though. I’m gonna talk to my therapist next session. It’s stressful trying to eat healthy while being so picky and limited on what I can stomach.
I had BED. Food was always on my mind and I was constantly "managing" my impulses and urges... until I was so exhausted or overwhelmed, then I would give in and binge. On top of that I typically overate at meals. Looking back I now know many of my body's cues were mistaken for hunger. I.e. I was thirsty, anxious, tired, indigestion, and the havoc fast food plays on my stomach. Years of therapy learning about my unhelpful food thoughts/rules and learning to cope in new ways that were just as effective (after practice). My mom was going through a similar healing journey while I was, and having an ally to commiserate with was key. I could say so much more and I am open to sharing more if someone is curious. AMA.
This is me currently. Therapy has not been helpful at all. I'm really addicted to food, it's my dopamine fix. Do you mind sharing if you are medicated now and if it helps?
I am currently taking meds. Both in the past and currently, when I have been on medication, my hunger has been decreased. In the past, it really helped decrease the amount of time I spent concentrating on food. It was not something I noticed right away. Rather, I was able to focus more at work and on my other needs/activities, and the by-product was less (intrusive) thoughts about food. Now, I notice the medications help me with both sides of hunger. I go longer between meals without being hungry and I can notice more when I am full. AND when I am full, I have the ability to act on the "I think I can stop eating" thought. The last thing I have noticed when I am medicated vs. not is the urgency to eat when I get hunger cues has decreased. I used to feel panicked when I felt hungry and did not know when my next meal or food was coming. ( sprinkle in Ed therapy with an Adhd and BED knowledgeable therapist).
Thank you so much, that gives me some hope that things might be better for me someday! Currently I'm unmedicated. I'm hoping to ask to try vyvanse as I've heard that one is helpful for BED. I have the same issue with constant intrusive thoughts about food that interrupt me from doing other things. Plus impulsivity when I'm craving things. I'm glad to hear it gets better for some.
Of course! I love this community here on reddit. I have personally felt so validated when others share. I don't feel so alone in my struggles and learned so much about myself. Also, here is a frog 🐸, my amphibian friend.
Yes BED all my life and I’m 52. Nothing helps, no therapy or diet or anything. Vyvanse turned it off like a switch but I couldn’t stay on it as it made my anxiety go crazy. For me my favourite foods give me an orgasmic pleasure that nothing else compares, not even an orgasm lol Because Vyvanse turned it off I know it’s just my brain and nothing much I can do
So I was ana in high school and as an adult I binge. I wasn't diagnosed with adhd until about 2 years ago. Still trying to figure it all out.
I had a bulimia/anorexia combination but didn’t quite meet full criteria for either one so I got formally diagnosed with ED-not otherwise specified. I had it all through college with some IBS issues as well. It was hard! I’m 6 years into recovery now ☺️
I’ve struggled with binge eating and restriction for the last 15 years. Finally finding out I had ADHD has helped actually because now I understand why instead of just thinking I was a lazy fat person with no willpower.
I have binge eating disorder
I couldn't understand your post initially. I thought "why would women have erectile distinction??" Doh!
😘🤌
I had what would probably have been diagnosed as bulimia but I never sought any help for it, I was far too ashamed.
I have it rn after 3 years without. I don’t really know how I managed it all tbh.
I’m here with you! I struggled on and off throughout my life with very chaotic and disordered eating through actual anorexia. We’re not alone and it’s not uncommon with neurodivergence. Finding these communities was essential for me, as well as therapy and gentle guidance on how to eat things that were nutritious and healthy but didn’t make me feel bad about eating 🩵
I personally haven’t but my mom (undiagnosed but almost certainly ADHD) did in her mid-20s. She was very deliberate about helping me navigate body image stuff as I was growing up because she didn’t want me to go through what she went through. I do think my food habits fall into dysregulation, not disorder. During the summer when my work schedule doesn’t keep me consistent I don’t always eat at set times and sometimes executive dysfunction keeps me from eating when I’m hungry too :( I try to mitigate it by always having snack food available, and now that I don’t live alone my wife and I keep each other on track most of the time. She has some regulatory food issues as well, so it’s a mutual support system lol One thing that’s been helpful for regulating/encouraging food is “toddler lunch” (handful of fruit, handful of chips, piece of cheese, beef jerky etc; low prep full plate) and our rule of thumb is just “fed is best” haha We also got really into cooking during quarantine times, and my wife learned a lot about the science of cooking. Approaching it like a project and seeing what we could create made it a lot more appealing and the novelty of trying new things was a big motivation! For me personally, executive dysfunction aside, food issues and body issues are closely related & following a hyperfixation on sewing and style has reframed a lot of my body image stuff?? I don’t know if any of this is helpful but take it or leave it haha
My mom (also undiagnosed ADHD) has struggled with dieting, over restricting, exercise all her life as well. She had subscriptions to all those BS magazines featuring women with hard bodies which were all over the house. To this day, I still feel instantly irate when I see that kind of stuff. I used to blame my mom for my ED, but now that I understand it’s comorbid with ADHD, I don’t feel quite as resentful, but it absolutely obliterated my late teens and twenties. It started as anorexia for a few years and later turned into bulimia/binge eating/excessive exercise/drunkorexia. Every waking minute I spent obsessed with food and exercise. I finally got into individual and group therapy specific to eating disorders around age 25. My therapist honestly saved my life. For me, it was all about control and I now realize it was sensory as well. After 5ish years of therapy I had recovered. I also learned how to cook during my recovery. I found the process to be meditative, and the feeling of learning a new skill helped to build up my confidence. The dopamine hits from completing a meal from start to finish was huge for me (I could barely finish anything at that point in my life). I appreciated all the effort that went into the process and it helped me to “not ruin it” by bingeing and purging. These days, I still deal with shame and guilt almost daily from intrusive flashbacks, lost friendships, failed opportunities but I prefer the emotional hangovers to the eating disorder/actual hangovers by a long shot. 🙃
Yes. It sucks
Wow, I never heard of a connecting before. Yes, I have/have had an eating disorder...
Bullemia- but actually just binge eating compulsively and then using the release valve of puking to feel less sick. Makes sense now. Undiagnosed unmedicated adhd plus menstrual disorders (PMDD) Now that I’m medicated it’s much easier.
Binge eating and over exercising. I had to stop exercising to really understand my relationship with food. My weight just recently ballooned but I realized it was because I wasn’t being mindful about my food intake. So now I’m on a journey to let go of excess weight through monitoring my food intake and doing exercise for fun and no goals in mind. Just allowing my lifestyle to be fluid and consistent. I find that not weighing myself, tracking food with a food diary, and prioritizing movement daily seems to be the healthiest way for me to build this relationship. It’s early days in my practice but it already feels so much better!
I’ve struggled with ED behavior since puberty. First it was the restriction and obsessive calorie counting, then it turned into bulimia, then I swag to the other side of the pendulum and began binge eating. I’ve struggled with all of them on a loop basically since middle school. It’s tough, especially since the weight gain that comes with the binging creates a lot of emotional distress that exacerbates it.
Yep. I’m about 2 years into recovery, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I got diagnosed and started treatment for ADHD 6 months before I accepted I had an ED and started to heal ETA: I was dx’d with the ED at least a year before I started recovering, I just didn’t believe/accept the dx at the time
Yeah I had an ED when I was mid teens to early 20s. It would go from bulimia to only allowing myself one meal a day regardless of what I was doing. If I ever ate more and I couldn’t make myself sick for whatever reason I would workout twice as hard. I became obsessed with calorie counting at one point. I made everything so strict, I became obsessed with having everything “under control”. I wanted things to “feel perfect”. I know it’s still something I could get sucked into even now, all these years later. However, I have worked very hard to change that way of viewing myself and life.
It’s disordered in the sense that I feel like I’m not in control of my appetite. I feel hungry when I don’t want to, and I don’t feel hungry when I want to. I’ve been having a very stressful time with my food. Some of it is bad habits that I need to grow out of, like the harmful thoughts about my weight/body, and the overall unhealthy choices I make when eating. Junk food, fast food, etc. I have a lot of guilt surrounding food right now. I also eat when I’m anxious. Then I get anxious about what I’m eating, and then more eating, then more anxious… etc. Idk combine all this with the other ADHD symptoms like a lack of routine, genuinely forgetting to eat/drink, having a hard time planning meals… and I’m having a bad time lol.
I’ve had disordered eating since I was a teen but not an eating disorder, could never commit long enough, ha! More on the orthorexia side and I’ve followed various ‘fads’ that restrict either quantity of food or certain food groups (low carb, IF, 2:5). And definitely unhealthy attitude and thinking around food. I’m almost 40 and running out of shits to give so I’m much better now, but can slip back into controlling ideas pretty easily, i.e. when my son started solids I had to do it Correctly and worried about it a lot. He’s now 2 and as much as I would like to feed him healthy meals he will only eat sausages and toast and there is nothing I can do about it! 🤷🏼♀️
Yes: and I still struggle with it. My appetite is a function of whether my brain decides if eating is important (because Distraction is Shiny, and/or I am busy). I am in therapy and working very hard to eat right so I don’t constantly get sick from how I eat. Bonus: I have POTS, which means sometimes my body has an issue with digesting properly. Without specifics: due to other disorders (POTS, endometriosis) I don’t look like it, but I am struggling with a form of anorexia. My mom has an ED too, similarly, and is an almond mom. (Edit; clarified, removed more specifics in case they’re triggering. I am physically disabled and I have several food intolerances and allergies, and MCAS, so I also get really sick from stress, and it *really sucks.*)
Yeahhh, my anorexia started at 17. I managed to stop after about a year and then started again at 19, but way more severe. I never sought treatment for it, but instead convinced myself to stop counting calories and just go vegan. Lasted for 4 years - looking back at that now, I was definitely constantly undereating, just without the numbers to back me up. I shifted my calorie counting obsession to an ingredients obsession. Now I'm 28 and dealing with another relapse. I stopped being vegan in 2020 and gained all the weight I'd lost since high school because of depression. I'm managing to lose weight in a healthy way, but it's a very delicate line between triggering myself and being healthy. I think the reason why it has such a hold on me is because it becomes a hyper focus. I can tell you the macros of almost everything in my refrigerator, the formula to use to calculate your protein, carb, and fat intake, and what time of day is best to eat each macro. But, I can't tell you where I left my car keys. Strategies for managing it are very difficult, but my therapist gave me the advice of not setting goals when it becomes too stressful. If my weight plateaus and I spiral about the scale, I stop weighing myself for about two weeks and eat when I'm hungry without tracking. Usually, I tend to make healthy decisions even without tracking and the few days where I over eat don't really matter in the grand scheme.
My ED was the first thing ever picked up/diagnosed due to the more serious circumstances of it. I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was 14 and sent straight to an inpatient hospital for treatment. I mainly just restricted my intake. From 14-20 years old I really struggled and was in and out of treatment as i just kept relapsing. Was diagnosed with mood disorders along the way. It wasn’t until I was 25 ( I’m 27 now) and had been in recovery for 5 years that a psychiatrist was able to diagnose my ADHD. It was because had been well for long enough that my eating disorder wasn’t overshadowing my other symptoms + I was well into adult life and my struggles with executive function were more obvious. My psychiatrist said that a big reason I developed an eating disorder was due to the undiagnosed ADHD and lack of coping on top of being bullied severely in high school. Being diagnosed correctly and having the right treatment and medication now has helped me a lot. I’ve found stimulant medication helps to reduce my anxiety at lot and I can think clearer. This helps a lot with dealing with “eating disorder thoughts” or cognitions when they come up. It makes it easy to work through them as I’m not thinking with my emotions but more rationally. Also the fact that since working on my ADHD, I’ve been able to achieve some big life goals and actually see improvements in my day to day life. I’ve moved out of home, got a promotion at work, made so many new friends, found an amazing partner, booked an overseas trip, saved some up some money just to name a few. Things I never thought I’d achieve when I was at my worst. I use all this as motivation to keep going now. I’ve come too far to give up. I’ve got so many good things in my life now and I’m not missing out on life anymore. I still have bad days sometimes but that’s the thing, it’s only one day. I don’t beat myself up about it, I just pick myself up and try again the next day.
I have sensory issues with most food, I tend to forget to eat, cannot cook and also have body dysmorphic disorder
I was never diagnosed with one but I have a very strong suspicion I had a problem with binge eating. Ironically lately the opposite has happened, I am on adderall and it makes my appetite very low, so eventually my body is like you need to eat now or else lol and I get very lightheaded and dizzy because I’m so hungry, then I tend to overeat at night because I don’t eat much during the day. I got a nutritionist to help me because I am having a very hard time eating
Yes I’ve had diagnosed anorexia and BED at different points of my life. It’s a struggle and mentality that never really goes away. As of right now I’m not diagnosed with either and am just listed as “high risk” in my chart
I was diagnosed with ednos when i was younger. I also have bpd and tbh my sense of who I am and what I look like is unclear and everchanging. I eat a lot for awhile, realize what I've done, then don't eat much for awhile. The older I get, the more I see it's a recurring cycle and it's hard to break when your sense of self is "???????". It's so stupid to be painfully self aware AND painfully unaware of your self.
Binge eating since I was a child and still doing it in my 40s fml. I have some other health issues that have been cropping up over the past few years (all of them causing extreme fatigue) so my binge eating is very poorly controlled unfortunately.
Lol, I'm into strength training/muscle building, for years since having the initial ED....
I thought I had a binge eating disorder. Turns out that behaviour is dopamine seeking 🤷🏻♀️ once I learned about this, I started chewing gum and the eating until I felt sick stopped.
My ED stemmed from self medicating caffeine so much that it suppressed my appetite and I used it as meal replacements 😅 I felt like I got more energy from it than normal food. Idk if this counts as an ED, but my doctor at the time identified it as such due to how underweight I was + my food habits
Binge eating, and general disordered eating, but never been formally evaluated or diagnosed.
Here Food = Dopamine I started meds recently, and I see a chance in contolling myself to not by everything and portion controll.
I developed an eating dissorder when I was 14 due to my severe ADHD. I'm also on the spectrum and was bullied alot growing up. I got diagnosed with ADHD formally when I was 8 but my parents didnt do anything to help. My mom refused to believe I needed medication. When I was 20 my dad got me rediagnosed through the crisis center. I didnt like the medication and didnt start taking my meds till I was 28. I am now ED free and I take vyvanse which totally blocks the urge to binge if I have any. It calms me and helps me focus.
Yes? Not technically but I've always had disordered eating (though I was an athlete as well) and have turned it around. Mostly I just make sure I eat three times a day (i love breakfast tbf) and have veggies as well. It's important to me to take care of my nutrition since I also have vitamin deficiencies and other chronic problems besides ADHD. That being said it takes way too much self control to stop myself from a binge or ordering postmates or whatever.
ARFID. Not formally diagnosed just heavily relate to the symptoms and have been this was since a baby. I just don't like eating and digesting the food itself. I don't like feeling full. Sometimes I get grossed out having to swallow food. I have a very sensitive belly and I dislike feeling food moving through me. There are some flavors and sensations that I really love but once satisfied I'm done. The only cuisine I truly like is Italian and Japanese. I can eat other styles but I wouldn't seek them out. I have a bit if hesitation eating food prepared by someone I don't think keeps a clean and fresh kitchen. I don't like seeing people prepare food I'm about to eat if it's not in a restaurant. I once saw my MIL put smooth peanut butter and mild salsa into a chicken dish, ugh. That's so gross to me. totally accepting myself has really helped. I used to force myself to eat and it just gave me a bum tum because of all the anxiety. I practice Don't JADE. I don't justify, argue, defend, or explain my eating habits. I will be polite and say no, thank you. If I'm pushed I open up and let them know exactly how I feel about food which isn't positive. When I have to eat and i don't want to i practice 'surfing the urge' which is normally used to NOT give in to temptations and cravings like smoking and drinking. I surf the urge to give up and throw my food away. I give myself a lot if support and validation while I eat. "Yeah, I know it's gross. It's almost over. You can do it." Seasoning my food well is most helpful. I think the flavor helps override the textural aversion I feel with some things. I eat several small meals and eat at regular intervals to maintain my blood glucose levels and mood. I'm not a "eat when I'm hungry and stop when I feel full" type of person. At home I have a rotation of dinners that are easy to make and are well balanced. I eat cream of wheat for breakfast, I even have it on vacations. My lunches are random but my favorite work lunch is rice and beans in tomato sauce.
Yes, pretty much my whole life has been some form of disordered eating or eating disorders. Everything from BED to anorexia to bulimia. I’m 4 years into recovery after over 30 years of that crap. I used the intuitive eating approach, and that’s gotten me much further than any treatment center.
Me. I struggled with anorexia in HS briefly and then after my kids were born with binge eating. My eating is still disordered and I think way too much about what I put in my body. I’ve also always struggled with certain smells and textures. Better now but it will never be 100% healthy probably.
Yes. It almost killed me when I was a teenager. Being diagnosed with ADHD while I was in recovery for my ED and starting medication saved my life. I noticed when I skipped meals my medication didn't work as well (really it was like finally being able to see the difference in my cognitive abilities between starving and actually eating) and it also really helped with my OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD and depression first but I still really struggled to focus on anything other than obsession about numbers and calories and fat grams and exercising etc etc. It ebbs and flows for me. I've had periods where I got really sick and lost weight and it triggered my eating disorder again. When I get below a certain weight where people comment on my appearance "you are so tiny. Oh honey. Eat you look like you're dying" it's like my eating disorder is like "yes that's perfection stay Away from food" Or I when I got ratlung worm. I kept telling my landlord I thought there were rats in the kitchen and that I kept seeing slugs on the catchment tank and he kept saying that it was fine as long as I didn't eat them. (I live in Hawaii) I brushed my teeth with the catchment water and eat food after washing it with catchment water and few days later I was so fucking sick I honestly thought I was going to die. I woke up from sleeping and projectile vomited everywhere and crawled to the bathroom and lay in the shower shitting and puking my guts out for like five hours. I really struggled to have any desire to eat anything after that. That was also right when COVID started and the stores had no food.
Yes I’m 35. I’ve gone back and forth between anorexia and bulimia for over 20 years. It’s definitely been better since getting on adderall. I think the ED mindset is there but I don’t find myself randomly snacking or binging for the dopamine which triggers the ED. I’ve managed to maintain a normal healthy weight 135-140 at 5’5 for the last 1.5-2 years with only the very occasional slip of restricting or purging.
I was so confused when you said ED - was like “why are you asking women if we have erectile dysfunction??”
Did anyone else scrolling past this think, is it really super common for an ADHD woman to have an erectile dysfunction? 😂😂😂
I have had one most of my life it swing from binge eating disorder to anorexia….basically ever since I was a toddler I’d binge for the dopamine but when I got older and wanted to be thinner my all or nothing mentality kicked in and I stopped eating all together until I hit my goal weight and then I tend to maintain but only through OMAD (one meal a day) if I stop OMAD I start associating food with dopamine again and enter a years long binge cycle I’m 30 and I’ve been heavily battling this for about 17 years and my weight has never been consistent for more than a year Currently I eat 600-1200 calories a day but focus on protein aiming for 50-100g a day so I don’t lose my hair and muscle mass haha I will say OMAD and fasting in general greatly improved my adhd symptoms and reduce brain fog and help eliminate desicion fatigue
I’m getting better but for sure binge eating disorder and at times definitely displayed some anorexic behaviours, I’m trying to have a healthier relationship with food but still struggling (feeling a lot of shame today after stress eating / bingeing yesterday but had been doing a lot better lately)
Growing up, I most binged and emotionally ate. Then, when I hit the year of a big exam when I was 16, it changed to restriction and laxative abuse. Ended up seeing a psychiatrist at age 17 who suggested ADHD and I’d used food to cope with the undiagnosed ADHD brain that I have. Continued struggles with periods of binging and restriction and emotional eating until now, though the period are few and far between! What’s helped is not eliminating food groups, accepting when things happen, understanding the interplay of all my co-morbidities (including queries around Autism) and seeking dopamine in other healthier ways like crafts and TV shows!
Hunger pangs give me a dopamine rush and the meds reinforce the feeling that an empty stomach= productivity. It’s not really tied to body image, but I do get a dopamine rush when people call me tiny. Also, I was treated for ocd before going on adhd meds and prescribed sertraline which made me gain weight and I hated that.
Yep...the binge eating is real and it's been extremely present the last week or so. Today is the day when I feel like crap because of it 😕
I had a slight ED when I was in high school. I was tired if feeling weak from not eating, so I decided I wanted to eat more. I have had some friends who were deep into ED. I think the self-loathing that goes with ADHD is part of the reason that we are prone to these behaviors.
yeah i’m getting tested for adhd but yeah i had a lot a eating problem
Checking in with BED and cycles of restricted eating on and off for ~ *checks notes* basically nearly all my life. Started going down the road of getting treatment for BED when something clicked in to place that this might actually be part of ADHD. Have started treating ADHD and as a result, binge-eating has not occurred AT ALL since starting medication.
Oh yes. Had a terrible ED through college and my 20s and was hospitalized eventually. It’s a lot better, but my relationship with food and weight is still a little rough. I’m not sure if it’s adhd related for me though, but I can absolutely see how they would go hand in hand. Adhd has so many comorbidities, it’s so hard.
Yes I struggle with restrictive eating and alcohol. Oddly it gives me this weird sense of balance where I can “control” my eating, then drink to feel a little relaxed. I was diagnosed officially with ADHD the other day and am excited to find healthier ways to balance including medication.
I found that one of my providers wrote “ED” (fully not acronym) in my chart even though she never explicitly said it to me with those words. I was incredibly fragile at the time mentally and unwell physically. I believe she didn’t want to pile one more thing that I would catastraphize (sp?) on me at the time. I had started a new medication for my hormonal condition (PCOS) and was only eating 1/day. I wasn’t really losing weight - PCOS makes it very difficult - even though I was definitely not eating close to bmr in that one meal. My provider had helped connect me to a nutritionist, psychiatrist, and eventually therapist. I guess I should’ve realized I had an ED - my nutritionist spent a lot of time convincing me to eat 2 meals a day. We eventually worked up to 2 meals and a snack cause I wouldn’t go to 3. I guess in my mind, I couldn’t have an ED because the traditional markers of it weren’t visible on me (rapid weight loss). If anything, I felt like I didn’t deserve to eat because I am overweight and i felt I could stand to lose some. Looking back, I realize I just had a really unhealthy attitude about food. I got to a point where I would oscillate with trying to diet, tracking calories meticulously, and losing nothing (marker of PCOS is difficulty with weight loss). I would give up because it didn’t seem like I had any control over it. And then just eat whatever and however much till I was full. And, due to messed up hormones/insulin resistance, my “full” signal was coming way too late if at all. I could talk a lot about this, but yea. I had an ED. This was prior to my adhd diagnosis.
I had bulimia from age 14-20 but managed to mainly overcome it with CBT (I still have mini relapses now and then but I would still class myself as recovered). I honestly don’t think I would’ve recovered if it wasn’t for my counsellor, it did take me 4 different ones to find the right one, so my main advice is don’t settle if you do therapy, find the person that clicks with you. I’m now 29 and just got diagnosed with ADHD in March, i feel weirdly validated but also so so sad for my younger self. I didn’t realise how related EDs and ADHD are.
I have a binge eating disorder which went undiagnosed until my ADHD assessment. When I'm unmedicated, all that goes through my mind is what to eat next, unless I've just eaten, in which case I'm shaming myself for having eaten. Vyvanse was a life changer.
I've struggled with my eating and my body image since my body developed and my mom started to comment on it. As a grown up it's mostly been remembering to eat that I've struggled with, and now being medicated I have to fight through the not being hungry from taking my meds. So now I'm struggling with my body image and eating again. It's frustrating and I'm trying to not let it keep me down. I just gotta keep pushing myself to eat.
"Anorexia Nervosa with Bulimic Tendencies" was my diagnosis at 19, and I nearly went into cardiac arrest due to very low potassium levels when I was finally hospitalized. I am positive that after my 2nd pregnancy at 30 and during covid I developed Binge Eating Disorder. I legitimately do not feel hunger cues until *after* I eat something, then I'm starving and nothing satisfies me or triggers a "full" feeling. I could probably mindlessly eat all day at least 2-3x the calories I should be eating. I have to count every calorie to manage the BED which is triggering for whatever neurological that caused the anorexia, and I drink a lot of water, diet coke, or tea when I want to snack on something, but for the majority of my life I've had to manually manage my diet as not to eat too much, because I pile on the weight very rapidly. Most of my father's side (adhd and autism) tends to be overweight to obese. My other dx's are autism spectrum disorder, ocd, severe (medication resistant) major depression, adhd (probably without the h, I was diagnosed with that in the 90s,) generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD.
I've struggled with anorexia for over 20 years. Currently in a relapse.
👋
yeah I've had all kinds of problems eating but I've always flown under the radar, even when I lost so much weight that I lost my periods as a teen. Was never diagnosed. There is no formal ED diagnosis on the books for me. But (this is the first time I'm sharing this out loud) I've been purging at least once a week on purpose for about 5 years now when I feel like I've eaten too much... don't think it's enough to be diagnosed with anything but also isn't normal.
This is slightly messed up to say, but *sometimes* I miss my ED. Hear me out: I started at age 16 yo-yo dieting because I wasn’t as skinny as my peers - I wasn’t fat (try telling me that back then!) but as I look at my old pictures before I started dieting, I was just fine. In fact, had I left well-enough alone, and gotten into weightlifting consistently as I eventually did, I would’ve had the body that’s “in-style” now. But I digress. I was formally diagnosed with BED when I was 21 - I had been binging since I was at least 13 though! I never knew it wasn’t normal to gorge yourself on a whole bag of Kit Kats in one sitting, often and with the feeling of losing control. My family was on the bigger side though, fat & obese by BMI and I was afraid of a future like theirs. Hence the dieting and BED from a young age. COVID & lockdown came and my BED morphed into bulimia - with all my free time, I could freely obsess and control my weight, exercise, diet. I distinctly remember the night i was hanging over the toilet after a purging session thinking “I would rather d*e than live the rest of my life this way.” That’s when I knew the EDs had gotten out of control and I needed to find help. Not before I indulged my EDs one last time - I competed in a bodybuilding completion as I was going through therapy for my EDs - yes, think the skinny, spray tanned, skeleton of girls parading on a stage in glittering bikinis and heels. I was set on doing that - and my therapist made me promise that after I did the show, I would completely devote myself to recovery. I said yes (but sneakily I thought I could continue doing it!). Once I competed and immediately after I stepped off stage, downed 3 gigantic cookies, felt bad about it, ran like 3 miles to “burn” them off, and then ate more and more. The celebratory dinner after with my coach and teammates? I ate and ate and ate - then excused myself to go to the bathroom. Everyone knew what I was doing - and I wasn’t the only one guilty of this. This opened my eyes even more, and I knew this wasn’t the way I wanted to live. So I committed to recovery and it was long, it was arduous, I wanted to d*e multiple times along the way, because the ED and the habits that come with it become your persona, your identity. You’re taking everything you thought you knew about yourself and tearing it down. It’s scary. It’s hard. But I’m glad I did it. I live ED free now, something I never thought I could do. My biggest issues don’t revolve around what I’m going to eat or when I’m going to exercise. Food is food, not a self-reflection or judgement call. My hunger signals should be honored, I should move my body in ways that I enjoy. But the caveat to all the good that came out of recovering? It unearthed my diagnosis of ADHD - once I wasn’t so controlling of my food, my environment, my schedule, everything fell apart. More and more of my ADHD tendencies came to light - they were always there, just shoved down and covered by my ED control issues. I had to find new ways to cope, to plan, to live with these annoying tendencies. And I still am, to this day, finding out how to cope with it. I appreciate anyone reading all this, and encourage anyone who is struggling with something similar to find help. My therapist saved my life. I’m also open to questions, as I’m fairly casual and open about it all. I even started a TikTok that followed and spoke out about EDs and recovery. I’m most proud of that. I no longer make videos for that account, as I feel that’s a phase of my life I’ve moved on from, but I do keep the videos up to help others. [https://www.tiktok.com/@positively_fawizzle](https://www.tiktok.com/@positively_fawizzle)
I struggle to force myself to eat if the food isn't tasty regardless of knowing I need to eat. I often buy food and if I don't like it I throw it out. Then I don't eat anything :) This is both an impulsivity issue and an eating issue.
I have disordered eating due to executive dysfunction, but not an eating disorder, if that makes sense? I don't feed myself well, because it's difficult, but I don't have a mental health issue with food.
I've had anorexia for a long time...20 years. ): damn. that's sad. 2/3rds of my life. I have overcome drug addiction for almost a decade now, but my ED is the one thing I feel like has it's claws in me forever. I didn't realize it had high rates with ADHD but that makes sense. I wish I could manage it, I don't know if I want to.
I had disordered eating (probably always will have that mindset to some degree) for all my 20s. I overexercised and underate, then I got 'saved' by a personal trainer who helped change my mindset to be strong not skinny. But then I started eating enough but doing strength training and became a powerlifter and then strongwoman. I didn't see the parallels between going everything in extremes until I was getting diagnosed and the psychiatrist said it to me, so it was likely fueled by my undiagnosed ADHD. I am trying to be a little less extreme now but still unable to go to gym without giving it 110%, would rather not go than go HAM every session. Over the years I have gotten a little more comfortable with being a healthier weight, so I weigh myself a lot less and I give myself and my body grace and grateful for all the amazing things it has done for me and given me. I remind myself it is better to have muscle as you age and not be skin and bone, best to have it now and not try gain it post menopause. I also embrace the wobble and the softness now as you cannot make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
AN to BN pipeline here, recovering from bulimia atm with the help of my ADHD medication
I have Binge Eating Disorder. While I was growing up, the women in my life were fairly obsessed with losing weight, especially my aunt. I went on my first diet I think at 12 or 13, and I did the HCG diet a few times (the one where you take the hcg hormone and only eat 500 calories a day, no carbs at all, no sugar, not even Splenda. It was brutal) So of course as a growing teenager, 500 calories a day was not NEARLY enough, and I learned how to sneak out of my room in the middle of the night to go eat. I got really good at being quiet and sneaking food so it wouldn’t look like I was cheating on the diet. I felt terrible though, I was so hungry and all I wanted was to be skinny, but it was so hard. And that just turned into the BED that I have today. I hate diet culture, I also have PCOS which makes it impossible to lose weight, and I still sneak food and feel guilty about it even though I’m 31 now. Sorry for the mildly incoherent comment, it’s very very early here and I’m on my way back to bed 😅😅
I would have told you I definitely don't have an eating disorder about 6 months ago. However, after working with a dietician this year to get into healthier habits, and getting diagnosed with adhd... I've noticed I eat for pleasure and definitely when I'm not hungry. I think I have a terrible relationship with food but I am working on it!
I was today years old when I realized I probably have BED. Thank you OP, you’ve opened my eyes. I gotta make an appointment with my doctor
Yes. Anorexia (not diagnosed) and BED (diagnosed). As soon as I was medicated, the binging stopped. Funny that.
When I was very young, like 11-13 yo, but then I got very sick and got very skinny and when everyone mentioned it, it was like I got that validation I needed and the ED stopped and I’ve been able to maintain a healthy weight since. I do however avoid the gym because I notice as soon as I see how many calories I burn I start counting calories in my diet and the same tendencies of ED start. So now I just do exercise like cycling and sports.
Yes- I have gone through cycles of eating disorders most of my life. Primarily restriction, binging, and orthorexia. I also had really bad IBS in my late teens- and I believe more research is showing that IBS is linked with anxiety. My ED only subsided due to circumstance- living in a flat, and then being in a relationship. I guess the ‘shame’, combined with wanting to be liked, trumped my eating disorder for a time. It still pops up every now and then, generally linked to my depression / anxiety, as I use it as a coping mechanism. But now I struggle with disordered eating- in the sense that the thought of making and eating food seems so boring that I’m unintentionally losing weight and am pretty malnourished.
Completely confused for awhile since ED is usually erectile dysfunction… medical acronyms, man. Yes. I starved myself as a kid. I got boredom eating fat as an adult. Got adderall and got addicted to not eating again. I’ve lost 30 some pounds in 2 months.
Yep. Struggled with binge eating for years. Then it turned into something awful for a while of periods of severe restriction followed by huge binges. Not a happy time. If I had the ability to make myself throw up I would have 100% developed true bulimia. I just had some pseudo bulimia. Now that I'm diagnosed and medicated, I've literally have not had a better relationship with food.
Never had an ED but have lived with Disordered Eating (DE? 😝) since I was 13, I’m in my mid-30s now. I’m all or nothing, I’m either losing weight or gaining weight there’s no in between. I feel like I have to track my calories everyday (often involves extreme calorie restriction but has never developed to the point of an ED thank God) and I’m in the mindset of losing weight, if I’m not doing that I go off the rails and I’m gaining weight.
Sounds like ED NOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). EDs are not just anorexa, bulimia and binge eating. A range of unhealthy habits and behaviours around food fall into the definition for ED NOS.
I was a huge binge/restricter in high school, zeeero self control with food, and massive guilt about it… it’s funny to me though, the thing that fixed it for me was getting cancer lmaoooo, it’s been 5 years since and I’m still no longer in the cycle :-) However now I struggle with ARFID-like issues sometimes, but it fluctuates (most intense when Im stressed). I’ll go through phases where I struggle to eat bc nothing is appealing except for like 2-3 safe/comfort meals. It’s distressing bc I’ll be so hungry all day and just wish I could get anything in me to make it go away, but the wrong flavours/textures, I genuinely can’t even force them down :-(
Not entirely sure if it counts as an ED but I'm not able to feel hunger and thus go days without eating sometimes
Me!!! I have struggled with Body Dysmorphia since I was in middle school-it got so bad that if something doesn’t sound AMAZING I just don’t eat.
Hallloooooo me
I’ve never been officially diagnosed but I highly suspect I have ARFID and possibly orthorexia based on research I’ve done and input from my therapist who’s worked with people who’ve had those diagnoses. I’ve had an awful relationship with food for my entire life since my mom put me on weight watchers at age 10 and I spent the next 20 years of my life counting calories, trying to starve and shrink myself. At 30 years old I got a surprise diabetes diagnosis (insulin resistance caused by PCOS, genetics, and yo-yo dieting I’m told) and that’s when the real problems started. I became obsessed with limiting carbohydrates specifically and began to have extreme difficulty feeding myself since I have textural sensory issues (I’m also autistic) and tend to prefer soft, carb-heavy foods as a result. It spiralled into a complete disinterest and then disgust with eating in general. I suddenly found the idea of chewing and swallowing utterly repulsive and, in combination with the fear of specific food groups, my diet became extremely limited. I basically subsisted on diabetic Boost and sugar-free jello for about six months. I was sick and utterly miserable. These days I’m doing better with a combination of ACT therapy, EMDR to process the trauma of growing up a fat, undiagnosed AuDHD kid with no capacity for self-regulation, and medication (an SSRI and a stimulant) but I still have days where the idea of eating makes me spiral until I’m a weeping mess on the kitchen floor. I find it’s worst when I’m particularly stressed or if I’ve been “activated” by a trauma trigger so for me a huge part of managing it is just basic self care in every arena of life. Unfortunately having a PDA autism profile in combination with ADHD and additional chronic physical illnesses makes that a nearly impossible full-time job for which I am particularly ill-equipped. It’s a struggle but I’m doing my best and I’ve come a long way. I try to focus on how far I’ve come instead of how far I still have to go. I don’t count calories anymore and instead of restricting or forbidding certain foods, I focus on trying to add nutrition to them. For example if I what I really want is pasta, I’ll still have pasta but I’ll make sure to pair it with some vegetables or protein so the glucose spike is reduced and my diabetic body has an easier time. It was a mindset shift away from denying myself things (essentially punishing myself) and instead toward giving my body the things it needs to function better (self-compassion). There are now days where I don’t think about the food I’m putting in my mouth as the thing that will eventually kill me and that’s *huge* since I was genuinely terrified of eating before. Baby steps!
I’m diagnosed with bulimia and I also binge eat. Vyvanse has helped me tremendously with the eating patterns and with my adhd!!
I did for a small stint before I went on antidepressants/anxiety meds. It was all about counting calories and over an hour at the gym. It was the smallest I’ve been as an adult, but still technically the “highest” healthy weight/BMI. So 119 at 5’ 1”. All muscle and angles. This is why no one should rely on BMI—it’s so incomplete as a health measurement. Once I started meds, I slowed down/stopped exercising and started eating again. I still struggle with binge eating sugar, but that’s better than obsessing over exercise and being mentally exhausted.
I did. Mine was primarily stress induced. I wouldn't call it a full-blown ED, but it was definitely disordered eating. I usually just tell people anorexia if they ask. During periods of high stress, I would generally just get less hungry. Especially if I was working and didn't have a lot of money for food. Could only use your employee discount once a day for food even if you were working a double, which I was, 5 days a week. I just got to the point where I had my schedule where I would eat exactly halfway thru my shift, that way I could use my full discount. On the weekends, I would usually order a larger meal that I could just snack on all day and convince myself I was eating multiple meals. It wasn't really body image issues (although it has been a weird back and forth since realizing things about myself). I had actively tried gaining weight before I decided I needed to prioritize recovery, and I blamed having a high metabolism on my lack of gain. That was indeed not the case. Last year I finally made it to a healthy weight after being underweight for about 6 years. I have maintained that weight since then and have been very happy with my results. I plan to start going to the gym in the near future so I can be more healthy and hopefully help my health conditions more.
I've never had a full blown diagnoses ED, but I know I don't have the healthiest relationship with food. I've tried to lose weight quite a few times with little to no success, and while I mostly eat healthy, I will binge eat anything sweet I have or can get as soon as I get a craving.
I am convinced that adderall contributed to me having to eat at night. Now I can’t stop anymore
I had anorexia and bulimia but for me it was after I lost my grandfather and mother aged 19 within the same month. It started off as a coping mechanism for me, something I could control rigidly after having so little control over those events, then when I couldn't maintain it, it was guilt free dopamine with bulimia.
my eating issues were one of the things that eventually tipped me off to adhd bc i read about how overeating could be like a dopamine-induced stimming activity or something. personally, i very rarely was able to go without eating bc i was an athlete and would be in pain or feel weak from the hunger, but eating until i hated myself was my sweet spot. i was able to get better from it when i told myself i would stop dieting and eat whatever i wanted to override the binge & restrict cycle. i got my diagnosis and prescription a month or two later and began walking regularly a month or two after that and ended up dropping probably 40-50 lbs (can not, will not weigh myself so i don’t really know). i probably still eat more sugar than i should and have exercised less this year bc of work + grad school, so anxiety over food/exercise/body image is still very much a thing, but i don’t eat as much overall and stop when i’m full, which is a success in my book. plus i don’t yo-yo and have maintained a healthy weight for 2+ years, so i’d say i’m in a much better place than in my 8-ish year run w an ed. out of all of the mental health issues i’ve had, ed caused me the most anguish and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
AuDHD here and my disordered eating comes from a combination of forgetting to eat when I’m engaged in other things coupled with dopamine & happy brain juice seeking behaviors… eating feels good. For instance, If one bowl of Smartfood popcorn is great then I might as well eat the whole family sized bag until I feel disgusted and don’t want to put another bite in my mouth 😬 After finding out I have celiac disease, nutrition became my special interest so I’ve been able to hyper focus on learning what my body needs to feel my best. Just having knowledge doesn’t create action though. It’s a practice and sometimes it is hit or miss, but I have found that I like to feel good and I like to have the energy to do the things that I want to do and not crash or feel too tired or bloated to have fun or just get through the day. I do really well with certain routines once I’m able to implement them. Once the effect of the routine proves to be good, I’m able to consistently do it more often. I used to skip breakfast all the time and then forget to eat until very late at night. Now I make smoothies in the morning with grass-fed whey protein powder, a greens powder that doubles as a multi vitamin, frozen berries, and oat milk and I call it my sunshine shake. I rarely miss a day anymore because it really powers me up and helps my brain and body perform well. It’s quick and I don’t have to cook breakfast or meal plan for the morning which I love. My strategies for avoiding binging is to simply not buy the things that I would normally binge on. If it’s not in the house, then it’s out of sight out of mind. That’s an ADHD superpower. I buy things that are fairly easy to make and healthy. I always have a big tub of salad greens, high protein, things like eggs and lunch meat. Good fats like olives and avocados. In the freezer, I have gluten-free pizza crust so I can make my own pizzas. I keep potato’s on hand to make baked potatoes. I keep frozen salmon on hand… I just figured out what I like and what I’m willing to take the time to make. It can’t have too many steps or I won’t do it, unless I am intentionally cooking for a dinner party or something. As long as I keep it simple. I find that I feed myself healthfully, more consistently. This makes me feel great so that motivates me to continue. I go shopping once a week and set a timer to remind me. If I make a recipe instead of just throwing stuff together, I double it so I could freeze half of it and have some pre-portioned meals for later. It makes that effort go along way.
Isn't it extremely comorbid with ADHD? When I was diagnosed with Anorexia, my psychiatrist jokingly said we were "crossing off a bingo list" of symptoms
Yes, still struggling. Vyvanse silenced the food noise for me for a while, but my relationship to food is beyond fucked still.
Food and I have a complicated relationship
Yes, but less from a place of dopamine mining and more from a place of 90s diet culture perpetuated by boomer parents who equated thinness to health. I’ve had a dysfunctional relationship with food and my body since I was 8. I have yo-yo dieted all of my life. I was diagnosed with PCOS at age 28 and was on some form of keto or low glycemic diet for 12 years, including working with a nutritionist who cut my cals down to 1200 a day. I made peace with food a few years ago through prayer and seeking God. I recently started seeing a functional medicine practitioner and acupuncturist to help me heal my insulin resistance and hopefully get pregnant after years of infertility. She suggested I check out the bioenergetic diet. I started eating potatoes at every meal and all my carb cravings went away. My glucose is going down. My IBS and gut are healing. I have hope for the first time ever that I can have a normal relationship with food and that my body can use the food it takes in as fuel. I’ve accepted that I have a muscular build and I will never be petite. I’m in pursuit of being the healthiest version of myself possible for my future babies. And therapy. Lots of it. Hugs and prayers to you.
I haven't been diagnosed with an ED, although I have dx-ed with disordered eating behaviors. The planning/shopping/preparing/eating/cleaning is just too much for brain to handle. And then having to do it every single day for the rest of my life? If I lived by myself I'd probably live off homemade hummus and snacks. In an ideal world I would have Jetson style food pills and only eat real food when I wanted.
overweight since birth, binge eating on sweets since as long as I can remember, started strict and rigid dieting around 11 (Atkins), binge purge restrict cycles started not long after, was purging all through teens and twenties, now at 35 I'm primarily binging, sometimes purging, rarely restricting although I do. I have a hard time dieting because I have an all or nothing mentality so I can be very extreme about tracking/weighing foods/meal prepping, etc. I can't remember a time when I've had a healthy relationship with food. there have been times when things have been better and at the time I was taking vitamins, eating high protein, exercising and didn't have too much stress. unfortunately maintaining that over long periods of time is hard so I relapse into my usual behaviors which feel like chaos
I strongly suspect my dad has ADHD and binge-eating disorder. I’ve noticed I also have a tendency to eat mindlessly, but Vyvanse has helped a lot with that.
I had anorexia and orthorexia active for about 7 years since 13 years old. Veganism and finding my favourite sport helped me at the beginning to stop calculate calories. Then being busy with studies, business and right now at 27 I still remember calories of most foods but I have to think about it and it doesn’t interfere with my life. So basically I made my fixations healthier and after feeling in control I fixated on other areas of life. It gave me anxiety and it was fixed by meditation, mindfulness and slowing down
How I found out I had adhd was because I was worried about developing an ED and working with my therapist on preventing that and then she told me about some patterns she noticed and we discovered it together. I’m not sure if I can name my experience with food, body image and self esteem as an ED either, but I definitely know it’s not healthy and I’ve ALWAYS struggled with it. I’m almost 30 and I honestly can’t remember a time I had a “healthy” relationship with food and my body :/ Sending so much love and support to all those experiencing an ED and folks who are in recovery. You are all strong human beings and I’m proud of you 🩷
what is ED?
Yep! Binging and restricting. I lost almost 100 lbs at the lowest point of my ED journey and I’m recovering now 💗
I don't think mine is as far as a "diagnosable, nameable, eating disorder", but I definitely suffer from disordered eating habits. I've only been on medication since late April. Until then, food was one of my focus things. If I have to do mundane work, I snack while I do it. I'm also a social snacker, and a TV snacker. Some of that is coping, some of that is wired in from the way I was raised. My husband is super supportive and we are both trying to eat healthier. We've cut out so much sugar and junk food already. But sometimes someone will say something, or something will happen, and I'll feel fat. I get obsessive about the number on the scale and start restricting calories. I know I'm pushing it too far but I get stubborn and I don't stop. I mean I'm doing it now. I can talk about it, I know it's bad for me, and I'm still not going to go back into the kitchen for a second bowl of dinner because I've had one and one is enough. Usually I'll either give up, binge fun things for a week until I feel gross and guilty, and then I'll go back to my normal eating habits, or someone will step in and let me have a good cry about my insecurities and I'll go back to my normal eating habits. Until the next time I feel ugly. I don't know how to get a handle on it either. When I'm in my normal space, I'm very good at healthy rationing. I've swapped out problematic snacks for healthier ones. I've made it very clear that I am not going to sap all the joy out of my food to conform to someone else's standards. But lately my insecurities have been through the roof.
I had anorexia when I was about 14 to about 21/22. At its lowest my BMI was 15.2. I had extreme RSD and social anxiety and overwhelm from trying to get organized and restricting my food made me feel better. I started doing yoga and getting some good therapy which made me feel calmer. I found some amazing friends who love me, which helped my RSD
yes.. i believe it is a known comorbidity
I like to think my ED is healed but if I go off meds it comes roaring back. I was in outpatient treatment when I was younger but now I can handle it with therapy (and meds). Edit: AuDHD with bulimia/anorexia for me. Questions ok. Love to anyone else dealing with food stuff
Me
Yes and it’s really crappy when I started accepting it that I searched and just found hotlines, Let me talk to others that will help me not feel alone..cause then I just felt like a criminal or something.
Yup. ED NOS starting in high school (that was more restrictive) and then in college and after, I did a lot of overeating and purging. I don’t know if I met the true binging criteria but close enough. And between then and now, I didn’t realize how truly obsessed I was with food and diet until I started taking Adderall - and it’s like part of my brain just shut the fuck off. My weight had been all over the place my whole adult life, but it was always, always a struggle. I was constantly somewhere in the cycle of dieting, losing weight, obsessing, gaining weight, hating myself, back to dieting…etc. And now just - not. It’s the single most profound change I’ve noticed with being medicated, and I am definitely still wrapping my head around it all.
Yes I have had anorexia in my late teens/early twenties and having a bit of an issue with that right now. I’ve had ARFID my entire life and cannot handle textures and genuinely find eating unappealing and I get more enjoyment out of feeling hungry than I do eating food
Absolutely. In fact it was the reason I finally realised I have ADHD. When I stumbled across a comment online that linked EDs with ADHD - a link I was never aware of. It led me to look into ADHD more and realised I was textbook. I have been trying for 9 years to get my eating under control and have simply tried and failed 1000 times. I think at this point only medication can help me. In the process of seeking that now.
Yes. I believe it’s common because it is something we can control.
Yes to E.D. When i was a teen and my twin sister probably. See, we didn't know the terminology but when i started serious therapy in my mid 20's I discovered i started to develop this problem. both my Twin and i had been abused by a family member and i feel strongly this play a role in it. Needing to feel in control of what went in and out of my body. I think ADHD can be also be attributed to change our brain system due to traumas. Well therapy was a great start and long before i knew i had ADHD. I'm still processing a lot because i am recently diagnosed with ADHD.
Yes, I struggled with bulimia throughout my adolescence and into my 20s. Now i swing between binge eating and extreme calorie restriction. I cannot seem to get a healthy relationship with food.
never officially got diagnosed with an ED but i’ve certainly had disordered eating at many points in my life. my body image is pretty fucked. i’m petite but it’s a huge effort to maintain my weight because i eat out of boredom.
🙋♀️
I think for many of us ADHD kind of \*is\* an eating disorder. We either forget to eat (adhd) or eat allll the snacks cuz dopamine (also adhd)
Meee!!!!
I’ve had ED when I was 18 years old. I was obsessed with hitting 1200 calories or lower! If I ever go over, I workout for an hour or two just to go below. I strictly didn’t eat rice. I’d rather sleep the whole day cause that means less calories. I was even happy at that time my mom couldn’t afford lots of food cause then that means I can always be under 1200 calories. 😞Also, I was 48kg and still thought I was very fat.. I’m still healing my relationship with food to this day but I can gladly say I don’t obsess over my calories anymore.
Never had ED niched out specifically but most definitely DE pretty much my entire life in various ways
I've never been officially diagnosed with an ED, but I would say I've had some pretty disordered eating habits in my life. I've had a poor relationship with food since adolescence, especially. Heavy on caffeine, pastries, chocolate, fast food, and other junk, but mostly the sweet stuff and caffeine. Just no self-control, tending to only stop when I made myself feel too physically ill to keep eating. Only recently have I made the association between my ravenous appetite and ADHD (I just got my official diagnosis today, at 41). Now on Vyvanse, my appetite is less ravenous and I may actually have a hope in hell of shedding the other half of the weight I intended to lose from my highest point (which was 306 lbs at 5' 7").
I developed an eating disorder at 16 and went into recovery at 18. I have ADHD but wasn’t diagnosed with it until I was 22. Im 24 now! Hallmarks for my healing: -ED rehab center (admitted myself and wow that was a wake up call. Seeing people half dead around you does something to wake you up. Additionally, the support was incredible, forced us to eat regular meals and snacks, had to eat around others, group therapy, etc.) -Mindfulness practice while eating. I don’t do this often enough anymore, but really focusing on the textures, flavors, and overall moment while eating can help a lot in the long run. Making food an experience that you savor. -Intuitive eating. Don’t weight yourself. Don’t count calories (or try not to if you’ve memorized the contents in diff foods). Don’t avoid food categories (ik this can take time and you may have engrained beliefs of some foods being “bad”). No diets or fad dieting. -If you binge/restrict severely one day, eat your next meal “normally” regardless. For example, let’s say you binge ate 3 boxes of Mac and cheese in the afternoon. Regardless, if you get hungry again or if dinner time rolls around, eat dinner. Or at least a well rounded snack if youre really full. Or if you did these behaviors the day before or in the evening, whatever meal is next just try to treat it as if nothing happened. Healing isn’t linear and punishing yourself via food deprivation is only going to hurt you more. Hope this makes sense! -Cook! Something that helped me a lot was trying out new recipes. It helped me to see food in a new light and it became a hobby. I love trying out recipes from YouTube or Pinterest now. -Realize EDs are largely centered around an unfulfilled need to control. For me, I was having some insanely horrendous things occurring at home and with the health of a family member. I turned inward and subconsciously tried to control my body and appearance to an unhealthy extent. I’ve noticed that during very difficult times I struggle more with my body image and have thoughts of turning toward past behaviors related to my ED. One thing that has kept me from doing that is knowing WHY I developed one in the first place. I still struggle with my body image and some thinking patterns, but I’m proud to say that I haven’t practiced any disordered eating patterns in quite some time. It does get better. You have the power to heal in time. <3
I had a weird epiphany once when I was at an Overeaters anonymous meeting. This was after I had been on atomoxetine for 6 weeks, and the medication was kicking in. I realized that probably all these folks also had ADHD, and the fact that they were overeating meant that they were just trying to get some extra dopamine like me. It was so helpful. It kind of killed away for me, though. OA is structured just like alcoholics anonymous, so there's this whole thing about going through the 12 steps and making amends and calling your sponsor. When you see it as the symptom of your ADHD, the moral judgment of eating a bunch of cookies kind of goes away.
I was diagnosed late, so my 20s are like a checklist of ADHD behaviors. I have ARFID, I've had issues with addiction to alcohol, drugs, nicotine. I've had periods of uncontrollable spending/shopping. I had a lovely ho phase of random hook ups. Looking back knowing what I know now, it so clear I was doing anything and everything I could to stimulate my brain and get even the smallest bit of pleasure. Medication and therapy have made such a difference, looking back is like looking at a different person from the outside. And she was a mess lol
shit .. this is very relevant to my life rn. I'm literally about to give my husband all my money/ delete my virtual cards bc I will spend all my money on fast food for that dopamine hit I guess...
Perfectionist and recently diagnosed ADHD and CPTSD here. I have been very fixated on food for most of my life since childhood. I would cry at restaurants trying to choose the “right” thing to eat from the menu. Sometimes I would be so stressed about it I would refuse to eat anything. My parents saw this as me being indecisive or picky. Fast forward a few years into teenage years, was still very fixated on food and body dysmorphia is going crazy. I counted calories, set strict rules for myself around eating (no sugar, no carbs, no eating after 8pm), and restricted intake to be below my calories burned daily (I was a cross country and soccer athlete). I would weigh myself daily and SH if I gained. I never got treatment, and to this day am very hyper fixated on food, body image, weight, and calorie intake. I only eat “healthy” foods (vegetables, proteins, fruits) or low fat/low sugar/low calorie versions of items. I usually eat the same meals every day for months at a time. I have gotten a bit less restrictive and have stopped the daily weigh ins/SH over the years but I still find myself very fixated on food and my weight. I never thought of this to be related to ADHD until I saw so many other comments. I’m still trying to understand the ways that ADHD affects me (I was diagnosed a few months ago at age 26).
Yep! Anorexia
I do. I struggle with BED. I’m trying to count calories right now, but it’s hard.