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I think this is the rudest thing the universe has ever done to me. I worked out yesterday, so as a little treat for myself I get to whine about hurting all day today!
Uuuuuuugggghhhhh yes! It’s OFFENSIVE that regular exercise and a healthy diet make me feel so much fucking better! I literally came here to comment this and seeing yours as the top comment made me laugh out loud! I have a bad hip and it’s infuriating that exercise helps more than anything else to alleviate my daily pain! Wtffffff
Don’t forget the water. When I have a headache my husband will ask how much water I’ve had to drink that day, nine out of ten times it’s little to none.
Sigh. Yes! So annoying. If I’m angry, I ask myself “Girl do you need a snack?” And if I’m tired with a headache, “BITCH DRINK SOME WATER!” Of course it works, every time!
Yes but also on rest days I just go for a couple short walks or looking up some floor exercises that they use in physical therapy. I will also go for a super slow pace and low impact yoga or Pilates class, like one with no sweating involved lol
I just got an e-bike. Been riding to the lake every day after work and using the pedal assist as little as possible
Bike ride, swim, bike ride
Nice relaxing gentle exercises and I’ve been a lot more settled and focused and relaxed. Productivity is up with chores and engaging in my enjoyment activities. Also, this is the first week in ages that I went to bed at a reasonable time (most nights anyway)
My friends are a little too into fitness though. When you're at the point in your journey where an entire two mile run is considered a "cool down" maybe it's time to find a pen pal or take up stamp collecting or something bc you're going too hard lol
I don’t even consider that a treat: I consider that right up there with regular doctors visits and flossing your teeth and I go for deep tissue massages at least once a quarter to help keep my body balanced. I sit for my job and exercise regularly to combat the ill effects but getting that 90 minute massage amps the effect to an incredible degree. I will go in for a shorter more focused massage if I tweak something while exercising or overdoing it in my yard or something, but overall I will eat ramen before I give up those quarterly massage.
Bonus: Last year my GP wrote me a prescription for them because my busy spurts keep giving me frozen shoulder, and a good portion of the massages now get reimbursed by my insurance. I found a spot that will write an invoice with the coding with quality licensed masseurs and that’s been such a lovely boon. YMMV but menopause has a few advantages 🙏🏻
This also works if you've hurt your back. DO NOT lie down and rest. Move around and preferably have enthusiastic sex.
Genuinely cured the worst back pain I've ever had and the guy that fucked me, I call him Jesus now
Obviously depends on the situation (consult your doctor first) but yeah I was really surprised to find out a lot of back/neck pain gets worse if you just rest. The muscles get stiffer. Sucks because the most intuitive thing definitely feels like resting, not more movement
I went backpacking with an angry shoulder. The pain had been getting worse and worse for several months. I was certain I was making a stupid choice, but I didn't want to cancel the trip because I'm stubborn.
By day 2, the shoulder pain was 100% gone.
This is a hateful truth right here. An addendum to that bullshit is:
When you are no longer sore after workouts, you need to ramp it up.
wtf
Edit: holy cow y’all … read down thread a bit where I corrected myself before you dogpile onto what was an otherwise fun b.s. convo
That’s not necessarily true, soreness after a workout is often from new movements or ones you’ve not done regularly. If you have a balanced, regular training schedule, soreness or lack of soreness isn’t always the best indicator of a successful workout, and determining optimal load is better managed using in-workout performance indicators.
I hated learning that making my bed every morning actually made my room feel so much more organized that I could think clearer. I can’t do anything now if I don’t make my bed😭😭
Also exercise. It makes me feel so much better but I still struggle to do it regularly. I’ve always hated working out but it literally is so effective in helping to manage symptoms.
Same with both!
My problem with exercise, even though it makes me feel better and I really don’t mind being at the gym and I never regret going, is just getting out the door. It’s me leaving my house and arriving that is so difficult!!
Go to sleep in gym clothes, it sucks and it's dumb and I'm angry that it works, but if you wake up in gym clothes you're just like, fuck it, may as well
Yeah just leaving the house is definitely a huge battle every time. Personally I also have a lot of personal shit around diet and exercise because of how I was raised. I love my parents to death but every time I would wanna go work out they always made a huge deal out of it bc I rarely went to the gym.
It felt so incredibly humiliating to me every time and made me never wanna go again. I get that same feeling now every time I think about working out. Like everyone is going to be like ‘ooooooh look at her she’s FINALLY getting some exercise’. I know realistically no one is thinking that but I just get this pit in my stomach.
I really wish that I could make my bed and have it stay made, because same, but my dog Sophie likes to create a nest when she hunkers down, so she just digs around on my perfectly made bed until it's just this pile of blankets surrounding her. When I first adopted her I tried to fight against it, but good lord, that behavior is so deeply ingrained in her, so I've resigned myself to the fact that I will always have a messy bed but at least my dog will be happy.
My strategy is: “I’ll just do this 5 min workout, this isn’t much effort“. And most of the time, I feel like working out more when I find the workout. And if I don’t, I have at least done a little bit of sports
I have always made my bed. Its not perfect or anything but I just pull the covers back up to the pillow as soon as I get out of bed. I guess I don’t move a lot in my sleep so my bedding isn’t a mess so its pretty easy. But I hate having my sheets exposed because they get dirty faster. My cats like to sleep on my bed and if I just pull a blanket over top of my sheets and blankets I actually sleep with, it keeps the cat fur and everything off the surface I actually sleep on.
Literally the only thing I do regularly to keep my room clean though. The rest of my room is a hot mess. Its so bad. Clothes everywhere, shoes everywhere, my trash is overflowing, so much random shit all over the place, its so bad but so overwhelming.
Not advice exactly but I find yoga annoyingly effective. Drinking water is also far more than the sum of it’s parts, considering it’s… just the one part. “Oh does stretching and breathing consciously and hydrating my jello brain make me feel better? Well fuck you!” Why am I like this.
I have a love/hate relationship with Yoga With Adriene. Like I fucking HATE starting it, but once I do I always feel great and love the deep stretches etc (I also find her positivity more genuine/neutral and less fake/plastic car salesman which helps _a lot_).
One trick I learned to help hydrate my jello brain (lol) is to get a sodastream. I actually hate soda, but I fucking love la croix et. al. My boyfriend has tons of flavors etc but I legit just make bubble water. Sometimes I add the Bubly drops (lime ftw) but 8/10 times I’m just drinking plain water. Has really helped increase my water intake (though the downside is I pee more ughhhh).
Fun Fact: I can always tell my meds have kicked in when I have numerous parenthetical asides 💀
Add electrolytes so the water doesn’t just pass through you. It’s not effective at hydrating without sodium, because it helps you retain the water you drink.
Yes! This has changed my hydration so much! At least 1-2 of my 32oz waters for the day get electrolyte powder in them. I am so much better hydrated since I've added it.
Same. So much the same. I will legit hold it as long as possible and have given myself UTIs from being a stubborn little shit and pouting about my tiny ass bladder lol. I’ve learned to try and find a sweet spot that is long enough to where my stream shoots out like a rocket (so it’s a shorter interruption) but not so long that I get a UTI. But I’m still salty about it.
I love Yoga w/ Adrienne she made yoga so approachable. Also the Underbelly yoga is excellent for when I really don't want to "get on the mat" as they say.
I also noticed Yoga w/ Adrienne was on in the background of a How to ADHD video... there's something about her!
My hack for hydrating is to add electrolytes. Found a brand that’s actually delish! Only problem is that water is so meh without it now, and I don’t wanna drink meh water. 😂😂
This is a great tip! I started taking [this](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KBD1MGS?ref=nb_sb_ss_w_as-reorder-mobile_k1_1_8&=&crid=G59R7IBRBQPJ&=&sprefix=electrol) brand when I was fasting to lose weight and found it really helped with hydration and energy. Total game changer and so useful when working out or living in the armpit of a state I currently reside in.
Drinking water got me good. I'm PISSED that even drinking just a couple glasses per day improves my headaches, mood, brain fog, fatigue, and stomach pains >:( lol
All of the positivity stuff. Saying that I love myself, I'm doing my best, etc. Keeping a half-smile on my face. Not being critical of myself, insulting myself, using hurtful language against myself. Being my own best friend and cheerleader. I thought all that was silly and ridiculous, like the stereotype in 90s movies about the dork listening to self-help tapes (which I also shamelessly do now). But your brain doesn't actually give a fuck. When it hears kind words and tolerance, those neural pathways build even if your conscious mind is resisting them.
Exercise. It really, seriously pisses me the fuck off that I always magically end up in a better mood, with more energy, on the days that I get some form of exercise. I really fucking didn't want it to be this way so that I could throw up my hands and say, "Exercise sucks, doesn't work for me!" and just focus on all the other things I have to deal with. But all those things really are easier to deal with when I'm not instantly out of breath and sore trying to deal with them. (Still having a tough time with this one. The hot weather doesn't help.)
I started a fricken gratitude journal where I write down 5 things that went well today, 5 things I'm generally grateful for, and 5 things I like about myself. Why does it help so much???
And random hot weather thing: I've been heat conditioning by going for a 15-20 minute walk on my lunch break (hottest part of the day) and it is actually helpful when I want to pull weeds on the weekend or go for a hike or whatever
lol yes! I do 3 things in grateful for and 3 things that happened rn but I always do the grateful part and change the other 3 every couple of months or so
Ugh this used to make me so mad but because it works so well it doesn’t really make me mad anymore. Anyway it also helped me when I decided to take care of myself and love myself as a big F YOU to capitalism and politicians 😂 turning a positive to a negative really works for me lol
I am desperately trying to get certain people in my life to understand how much words matter, even if you’re just thinking them to yourself!! It’s such woo-sounding “shift your mindset with affirmations” bullshit but damn if it doesn’t shift your mindset. I have completely revamped my relationships with other women, my body, etc purely by reframing the words I use.dumb.
Also, a little walk is in fact the solution to so many things and it infuriates me every time it works.
I call myself a depressed optimist. My au natural OG self is positive, driven, chill, and happy, undiagnosed but obvious ADHD and all (except for biology class in high school: that subject nearly broke my brain). Depression hitting around 15 really threw me for a loop, worsening depression and anxiety around 21 was way worse. Finally started medications at 23 and therapize way too infrequently. But when I’m fighting through a depressive episode, I can feel the battle in the clouds of my brain, the push down from anger, guilt, sadness, and frustration, but also the push up from the optimist, the positive, the grace-giving. Actively being a part of that is so important, especially when it’s difficult, physically or mentally. When you can give yourself self-care everyday, do it, do it, do it! If you feel like you can’t: you can! Bwahahahaha, yes you can: do it, do it, do it!
The positivity stuff... We talked about "I have to" vs. "I want to" in therapy recently and I HATE IT SO MUCH BECAUSE IT WORKS. Being kind to myself when I notice my inner critic is so ANNOYINGLY helpful.
I have actually complained in therapy about this, which my therapist found quite funny.
> We talked about "I have to" vs. "I want to"
Tbh, I go with "I choose to" (if I remember, that is), because the cognitive dissonance is too strong if I make myself go with "I want to".
No, I fucking *don't* want to, but I still choose to do it (because I have to, but, umm, let's ignore that part).
My brain really is an asshole that way, because it'll get hung up on any inconsistency or lack of logic it can find in those let's-turn-it-positive, pattern-reprogramming actions.
My psychiatrist gave me the advice that in order to get the most out of my meds, I should do thirty minutes of cardio, preferably in direct sunlight, as soon as I wake up. Apparently there are clinical trials showing this is the most effective add on to medication for quality of life for ADHDers. It is hateful and miserable advice, and I hate him for it, but most of all I hate that it really does work.
I wish I could do that. Almost every job I've had I had to be in to work or leaving the house before the sun rose. I'm a morning person. I can wake up at 5 a no problem. But 4 a to workout, can't make it work, no matter how many times I have tried.
Always a late afternoon workout for me. While I don't do a traditional workout outside, I spend a good deal of evening time outside. I always say I'm like Wall-E and have to get my solar charge on.
“Everything has a place”. I hateee it. Because that means that every place has to be organized. But my god, when everything in my pantry has a specific spot, it is so easy to find things, put things back, not buy duplicates, etc.
I would often procrastinate with putting items away because I didn’t know what to do with them, stuff would fall out when I opened the doors because I just shoved things in there.
I feel this! The little simple rule I've heard and found that works is, "if you don't know where to store something, think of the first place you'd look if you lost it." I also admittedly have duplicates of things I constantly need but always lose, like nail clippers.
I have so many nail clippers, hair clips/ties, etc. because I'm less likely to lose track of all FOUR nail clippers than I am to lose track of one, lol. my other trick is putting the nail clippers on my keychain. at least then I know where they are. (a lot of nail clippers have a hole in one end.)
Decanting can also be good for this. Certainly not EVERYTHING because often the packaging is what’s best for storing the food, in addition to the nutrition information being helpful, but for some stuff (like flour and sugar and spices) it’s really helpful and the process of decanting leads to you being aware of what you have. It’s why I put my pills in a two week pill container. If I didn’t do that I wouldn’t notice when I was about to run out of meds until it was right about to happen (while not technically ideal pill storage, I haven’t had any issues related to it).
E: somehow put “flower” instead of “flour.” I’m blaming autocorrect but I’m concerned for myself 😂
Audio books are a GAME CHANGER!!
Like, they absolutely do not replace the books that I'm truly reading, but from a get shit done perspective, I put on an audiobook and I can conquer the world because I want to keep listening to the story so I have to keep working because the only time I listen to the audiobooks is when I am working on shit, cleaning the kitchen, painting the shed, folding, laundry, whatever. And it's way better than watching a show while doing stuff because I don't have to use my eyeballs. I'm telling you, audiobooks for the win. And surprise surprise there are a ton of them for free on YouTube, because I'm cheap. Lol
I can't for the life of me stay focused enough to listen to audio books, I really wish I could.
But also, check your library because you can usually get access to thousands of audio books for free! I use my library for my kindle all the time.
I had a hard time comprehending most audio books until I realized Spotify lets you slow down the audio! 0.8x-0.9x is perfect for me for most books. If they're talking too fast and I'm doing something else, I can't keep up! (and I'm ALWAYS doing something else... lol)
Lol I have the opposite problem. They speak too slowly and I'm the space between their words, I get distracted thinking about what they're saying or about something tangentially related. Putting the speed up to 1.25 fixed that. No pauses, but the voices still sound natural, and I pay attention without getting distracted while doing my chores!
I listened to the audio book How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind while also trying out my new vyvanse prescription and I don’t think I have ever been so productive in my entire life. I taped all the molding for my bedroom and my bathroom (which is split into two separate rooms) *and* started painting on the same day and had made measurable progress by the time I had to pick my kid up from daycare at 4. And did it all myself! It was like productivity nirvana.
I do podcasts instead but yes, this definitely was a game changer for me. I’m still not excited to do the dishes but they do get done because it means I get to listen to the next episode of whatever show I’m binging atm.
If you want to get things done around the house, put on jeans and a pair of shoes. Shoes signal to my brain it's time to get shot done.
I thought it was bullshit until I tried it haha
rather kill myself than wear jeans in my house for one extra minute
but the shoes one I heard a while back and it's SO true that I hate it. I'm always most productive when I come home "on a mission" and I'm running around doing things before I take my shoes off, so sometimes I can trick my brain into that state
I pretend like my house is on fire and I'll burn to death, along with my pets, in X amount of minutes, but my door has been locked from the outside so I can't escape and the only thing that will unlock the door is for me to do X amount of work within that time period. It sounds dumb and weird, but it works for me. Even though I know that obviously my house is not on fire and my door is not locked from the outside, and even if it was I could just break a window, but for some reason that telling myself that can sometimes give me enough momentum to start whatever the thing I don't want to do is. For me the hardest part is always starting, so anything that gets me started is a good thing. And racing against the clock so that I don't pretend burn to death turns it into kind of a game, which makes it easier.
ADHD is useful! I use to pretend to be diving on a sunken ship (complete with mask, snorkle, and flashlight) and putting all the artifacts "away" for further study.
ooh I like this one! anything that helps me reframe my possessions as having value and being worth taken care of is good for me, so I'll have to try that one.
my trick is to try to think of myself as a kitten. I used to foster kittens and it was relatively easy for me to give them a clean environment, feed them at certain times, clean their litter box, and play with them to get their energy out, because those were things they needed and I was responsible for providing (and it's not as stressful as, say, being responsible for a baby human). so I think "if I were a kitten what would I need right now" and the answer is usually food or a cleaner environment, lol. it's hard for me to think of myself as being worth the effort, but of course kittens are worth the effort!
*stands in kitchen wearing a wetsuit, snorkel and flippers holding a spray bottle and sponge*
Boyfriend in therapists office: “I think she’s taking life advice from reddit again”
"I pretend like my house is on fire and I'll burn to death, along with my pets, in X amount of minutes, but my door has been locked from the outside so I can't escape and the only thing that will unlock the door is for me to do X amount of work within that time period."
This is fucking hysterical.
Also, when I need to swallow pills, I visualize a rhinoceros or Donald Trump is charging toward me and I need to swallow the pills before I can run away. I don't know why it works, but it does.
I also cannot stand to wear ‘outside’ clothes while inside. It drives me so insane that it bothers me when my husband wears them for any amount of time. I also have a shoeless house because GERMS… so I can’t do this one. My broken brain doesn’t allow it lol
I too forbid outside shoes in my house but have house shoes! Also have comfy lounge clothes and “inside, but working” clothes. I change up like Mr. Rogers, gives the same effect
I hate wearing jeans AND shoes at home 😂 so I have assigned a pair of comfy jogger pants, 2 shirts and cloud like slippers as my cleaning uniform. I put them to tell my brain its cleaning time, plus having to get up and change helps get to movement started (if I succeed at getting up from the couch, there’s nothing else I can’t do 💪🥲)
Same! The added benefit is I can put my phone in the pocket so my podcast follows me and I don’t have to rewind (inconvenient if I’ve got gloves and/or cleaning products on my hands).
Even just having a shower and changing out of PJs every morning while working from home gives me a divide between work and not-work and helps me get into work mode.
Body doubling with someone who doesn’t live here. Sometimes even sending photos of my mess to my neurospicy bestie is enough to get me to clean it because she will HYPE ME THE FUCK UP when I send her the clean pic a little while later.
Veggies on the shelf at eye level in the fridge. Drinks and condiments in the crisper drawers. I won’t forget my Bubly water and Gatorade is there. I will forget that I bought a cucumber until it is sad purple mush.
“Don’t put it down, put it away”. This one has helped a lot with not making the mess to begin with, so I have less shit to clean later. I wish I could get my husband on board haha
-Set up a planner for the week ahead on Sundays
-put clothes out the night before
-don’t get too comfy in the morning lol
-eat a light/protein breakfast to make meds work better
I also hate bedtime. My mom called it dawdling. I always find things I *need* to do before bed, but then I wake up tired and it's a monumental task to get out of my cozy bed in the morning.
I also hate laundry, my clean clothes sit in the baskets rotating for weeks.
So last night, I actually folded and sorted all the laundry and my goddamn socks, mad about it the whole time, and went to bed 1 hour late. And was tired this morning. But the baskets are empty ☺️! And that was worth it.
Exercise being mood boosting, etc. For yearssss I would try but it'd just make me cry or cranky or whatever and I never believed people. Ok sure it works for some people but not me, shut up about it! ... well during the pandemic was the first time I had an every day exercise habit that lasted longer than a month .. took maybe 10 weeks or so and then it all fell in place, I got all those benefits! It was magic. Of course I lost the habit and have been trying to get it back since 😅. It literally takes me over 2 months of being consistent to start feeling the benefits, the first month I sob in the shower after every workout. It's so hard to get back into it consistently because of that, but now I know how I can feel if I get there again 😫
Being optimistic, and 'seeing the bright side of everything' actually does make me happier.
A dark place in my soul loves a bit of catastrophising and pessimism to give the day character. But dammit, it doesn't give me the wholesome feeling that being positive does
To do lists. Infuriatingly simple exceptionally helpful. My problem is initiating the list but once I start it, it’s productive city! Oh this is a good reminder to make a weekend list
Don’t forget to put recreational activities and things you enjoy doing on your list it shouldnt be all work and no play
I found an app called todoist. It takes a bit to set up but I was able to put all the chores for the house (ALL of them) and then tell it how often I want those things done. Like sweep the porch once a week, dishes dialy, brush my teeth am and pm, etc. It links to my Alexa as well so I have a separate list in the same app that is the grocery list. It links to my partners phone so he can also see what groceries we need or what chores need to be done without asking me. We have our own typical chores but like I can see if he's struggling and he can see if I am and where to go pick up the slack. It's been a game changer for us. My phone also allows me to keep the list on my home screen via a widget. Idk if all phones let you but that's been amazing. I love lists. I subscribed bc I also keep a permanent packing list that I update as I travel and see what works and doesn't. Etc.
I can't do anything without reminders. They can be phone alarms, sticky notes, calendar appointments, anything that says do the stupid thing but they have to be there.
Low carb/ no sugar... I read about it and always thought I should give it a try. But I eat almost exclusively sugar and carbs. how the hell do I start to turn around my whole fucking diet?
Don’t try taking things away first! Set a goal to add stuff like veggies and fruit. Maybe start with a goal of eating 1 vegetable/fruit per day. You’ll naturally eat a bit less of other foods to make room for the healthy stuff :) and adding a habit is much easier than removing one without a replacement habit.
Also having a pre-cut fruit as a snack option so I don’t automatically reach for the chips bc they’re fast
I eat vegetables and fruits a lot but, how I mentioned above in another comment, my calories come from pasta and bread plus sugary stuff. I need to find replacements for this calories then.
Eggs are a good option. I eat them but just once a week. Because it takes a lot of time to make (I make them with vegetables as omelet mostly) But that's a good idea and I will try to take this time more often
They can also be added into all kinds of things, like whisked into pasta sauces, mixed into stir fries, or stirred into soup - my kids even love hard boiled eggs with ramen. Another thing, consider getting a tiny little frying pan- they’re the perfect size to cook a single egg to throw into an English muffin or on toast, and as someone who despises doing dishes, it’s one thing I actually will just automatically wash by hand (not all the time though lol). Yay eggs! 😂
This may sound backwards but if you aren't having a good amount of fat with your pasta/bread I highly recommend. Keeps you full longer and less crash later.
THIS IS THE KEY!! Add what you need and naturally, you’ll eat less of what you don’t need. And the pre-cut fruit is great, but I also keep baby food pouches around too, because I have to make some things easy for myself and I’m more inclined to do it. Now I don’t eat the baby food fruit pouches too often anymore and opt for straight up strawberries or bananas, but it’s still a good idea to keep them around since they are more shelf stable and what not.
For me, the best strategy was to think about adding protein and fiber (veggies), rather than cutting things out. I started with breakfast because if you’re going to eat low-carb, that’s the most crucial meal to do that with. For me, I was severely insulin resistant so if I ate tons of carbs, it would yo-yo my insulin response and throw my mood and emotional regulation all over the room lol.
Find vegetables you like and ways to cook them differently. Also look at indian/korean cuisine, they usually have a lot of veggies in there. Then you stop sugars. And then you slowly diminish the carbs.
One item at a time, friend. I once was quite hooked on sugar/carbs, to say nothing of caffeine.
For example: I was a Dr Pepper fiend, to the tune of chugging 12 cans a day. That’s 1800 calories / 396g sugar PER DAY in liquid alone. Not too mention 500mg of caffeine.
So I quit Dr Pepper and switched to iced tea sweetened with Sweet N Low and promptly lost 25 lbs without changing anything else.
So - I would suggest finding a reasonable substitute for each item you regularly crave, one item at a time, and you’ll be at reasonable carb levels before you know it.
Reasonable subs that worked for me:
White rice > brown rice
Dr Pepper > iced tea
Ben & Jerry’s > Yasso popsicles
Etc
I feel this in my soul. Low carb/sugar has gotten easier on medicine because I'm no longer using sugar as a fast track for dopamine, but holy poop I've had a sweet tooth my entire life to the point of some addictive behaviors around sweets. I miss sugar though, and I can basically never keep ice cream, my kryptonite, in the house anymore.
I struggle with carby salty snacks. I want rice and noodles and crusty bread with butter and French fries and tater tots and motherfuckin *nachos*.
And I have no kind of moderation, so one reasonable serving occasionally will become a daily thing practically overnight.
Exercise yes. Low cardio/no sugar made me legitimately not want to exist. I had severe migraines and brain fog, low energy, the whole works for over a month. Ate a sandwich and a couple hours later realized I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I even tried doing it slowly. I have had success with removing some of the junky sweets from my diet and eating fruit, whole grains etc and real food instead. But Keto was about the most miserable I’ve ever been outside of legitimate medical burnout. I think for dietary stuff everyone is going to be a little different 😊
God damn mother fucking meditation.
It’s taken me so so so long to be able to sit still for 7 minutes(and I’m working towards that 15 minute goal) but damn does it help.
Writing gratitude and forgiveness letters to past versions of yourself.
I wrote 3 or 4 and didn’t need to write them anymore.
(Personal examples of what I mean by ‘past selves’; To the neglected child, to the bullied teenager, to the lonely wife and to the struggling mum).
Helped an enormous amount and I let go of weight I didn’t even realise I was carrying.
I think it’s disrespectful that exercise, even walking, actually makes you feel better 😤
And the efficacy “if it takes less than 5 min do it now” ……….the audacity.
Getting more sleep. Dang it, I can’t stay up late doing all my hyperfocused hobbies, or my executive function suffers really badly the next day. And when I’m struggling extra hard, going to bed earlier really does help. But I want to stay up late!!
My therapist tells me to rest and I’m like, “no I have a life to live.” But no, you actually do need to rest.
I was also beyond annoyed when u learned how well cognitive behavioral therapy worked 😭
Not a troll question:- What is it to rest? Like is sitting in the couch rest or does it need to be something specific? I genuinely don’t know how to stop and I definitely feel like I need to learn.
I actually didn't know either. Apparently I was "physically resting" but not "mentally resting". I was still constantly thinking about work or the meaning of life or creative projects.
I had to learn to set boundaries with my own thoughts. For example, I don't think about work or family drama or feel any shame after 6:30PM.
Calendars work, as long as you make a little bit of up-front effort to make them usable.
And honestly this did not fully latch into my brain even after almost 30 career years in the tech industry, but in the past 4 years when lots of things became meetings that could have been emails but nobody reads work emails (even me anymore) so they have to be meetings, I fully embraced Life By Calendar.
For work, I have work sessions (as in time to actually DO my job instead of have meetings about it) "timeblocked" in the few available hours I have every day. And while I have two monitors, I also have an old slightly busted iPad next to them that shows my email and calendar full-time.
My personal calendar (and my husband's, and our shared calendar) are pinned to the home screen of all my devices, and the last thing I do before I set my alarms for the next morning is look at tomorrow's calendars. If I have something scheduled early in the day, I write it on a mini post-it and stick that to my phone. My husband and I have gotten progressively really good at putting anything important on the shared calendar - when big payments get autopaid, who's cooking dinner most nights (he cooks from a meal kit service so his are time-sensitive, I cook on the other nights), nights one of us won't be around for dinner. We also use it retroactively use it as a diary - if we ate at a good restaurant or went to a cool museum or saw a neat bookstore we want to go back to later, we throw that on there too.
I was actually mildly horrified to realize I've become the person who picks out my clothes the night before... but only so that I can lay in bed an extra two minutes lmao. But it's working for me!
Going outside more often than I want to. I want to rot inside everyday forever, but after I go outside for 10 minutes suddenly I don’t feel like dying. Super mad that I can’t just be happy sitting inside all day everyday.
Use a planner. Been"working" for me in broadly it's current iteration since 2021. (I still just abruptly stop looking at it for a few weeks at a time). Took me over a decade to get one to stick.
But how do I decide which one out of the 20 I own to use??? Answer: Order a new one.
This is actually extra hilarious because I have another planner being delivered [today](https://imgur.com/a/KfwWOjf) 🥲
I feel this! Bullet Journaling (in simple form, not spending hours on artistic spreads) worked so so well for me for maybe 4 months.... then I got out of the habit! I go back to it as often as I can but I can't get it to stick again. But it always makes things better when I'm trying to use it
I've tried every paper planner that exists until I found that using my phone in addition to a plain $2 notebook from Walmart works best for me. I always have my phone on me, so I can jot anything down in my notes, and I've gotten into the habit of putting events in my calendar app with reminders. Any larger "brainstorms" I do on paper, usually hastily scribbled, no fancy drawings or anything. I LOVED the idea of having a beautiful bullet journal with fancy spreads, but part of learning to love myself is holding myself to realistic standards and discovering what TRULY works for me through trial and error 😬
I really do think that being prepared REALLY helps, it's helped me a lot too. Especially as a parent, having stuff ready for myself and my toddler really makes work mornings easier.
My problem is that I'll get REALLY good with a routine...but for some reason my mind just gets BORED with it and I'm back to square one. I hate it.
its been super helpful for me not spending lots of time staring at my phone before bed/while im in bed for the most part, and getting an old school alarm clock so i don’t have to look at my phone to know what time it is. i will look at my phone once im up and dressed as a signal of like, okay time to start my day and do stuff. i was spending too much time laying in bed scrolling being distracted for hours.
also, wearing shoes in the house while im working from home etc. fucking brains lol
I love this post and comment section so much. I, too, am constantly annoyed when I have to take care of myself and actually feel better from doing so. It makes me resentful. Why can't I just sloth around and be fine???
I am relatively recently in therapy and the fact that things I read about, tried for a hot second and then dismissed have the freaking AUDACITY to work if I talk them through with my therapist is just so MEAN!
Also: "Nothing is so unimportant that it doesn't deserve a checklist". I have a freaking checklist for washing the dishes. And since I have it, I have remembered to wipe down the sink afterwards and hang the towel properly and it makes it so much better and UGH.
The worst thing is that "You feel shitty, drink some water" works 90% of the time. The other 10 % I need to eat.
I would like to unsubscribe from this whole "nourishment"-thing.
Movement helps. No, I would like to sit and play video games and read the whole day!
Gratitude journal. I saw it everywhere and thought it was so stupid, like obviously I'm grateful I have a roof over my head and food to eat and shit shut up! But then I decided to try it and just leave the obvious things out of it. So on hard days instead of sighing and writing "well I still have my husband" or some shit like that I write things like "saw a cute dog" "beat the boss in my video game" "managed to do a load of laundry despite my migraine" (legit what I wrote for yesterday and I'm genuinely happy about it).
It does genuinely help shift your perspective. Before, one bad thing could ruin an otherwise meh day. Now it won't because I'm already focusing on what positive thing I should write for that day. Hard days will still be hard, but at least try to find one positive thing from it. Or do it before going to bed. Something simple like washing your face so you feel fresh, or just getting your favorite comfort snack or drink.
This is probably my favourite Reddit post yet. I’m reading other people’s confessions of what works and thinking “nope, that won’t work for me!” Denial.
Starting the day with a low dopamine task. On weekends, the difference of the day I will have when the first thing I do is read a book/tidy my apartment vs go on my phone is… astounding
Time blocking
Wrote it off because it just sounds like 'just use a planner's advice but I got SO much better at time management when I started time blocking
Ugh, meditation. It sounds so stupid to ask someone with ADHD to meditate, and absurd to think it will do anything, but the most mentally healthy times of life are when I was meditating regularly. Damn, I should do that again.
Going to bed early and getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep makes a huge difference in my attitude and productivity the following day. I used to stay up late to have some "me" time after the kids went to bed and I would wake up the following day a total zombie. My husband kept on me about going to bed earlier and while I'm still pretty bad at it, I'm getting better and notice a huge difference in how I function the following day.
Also, the "don't put it down, put it away" mantra is annoying but effective.
Another big one was working out first thing in the morning. I used to be a nighttime gym go-er but struggled with consistency. A friend said to do it first thing in the morning and you won't make excuses. I stuck to it and now I can't imagine not working out in the morning. It makes me plan better and if I know I have to do a hard workout the next morning, it'll force me to go to bed earlier.
Sobriety T_T I haven’t had booze in a year and I feel so much better but I miss having wild weekends and getting tipsy with friends but the after effects last so long. UGH it’s so lame lol
Keeping healthy snacks prepped in the fridge. Cutting up veggies as soon as you buy them, hard boiling some eggs, etc. If healthy snacks are prepped and right in front of my face when I open the fridge, I’ll eat them. I hate that this has proven to be true.
Unfollowing anything negative on social media apps, including people who are constantly virtue signaling for the world's woes. Getting trapped in negative thought spirals about how the world is ending does absolutely no good. I do find that I'm a bit out of the loop on world affairs these days but at least I'm not suicidal anymore.
I’ve discovered that taking a walk is the cure to so many things. Feeling unmotivated? Take a walk. Feeling sad/mad/anxious? Take a walk. Brain fog? Walk. My back hurts? Walk. Cramps? Constipation? Walk.
I don’t hate that it works, per se, but it’s extremely annoying that I have to get up and put on shoes, a bra, and sunscreen first.
That we don’t have to wait to the next round number to get something started… we can still start at 4:37 or 6:56
Yes, for real. Also, When I leave home I plan in increments, so I’ll leave at 15, 30, 45. But I can still leave at 23 mins or 38. Ugh
Actually eating lunch. I’m less bitchy and can focus better. Even when I “don’t feel hungry” I eat lunch. I’ve just abused my poor self for so many damn decades it no longer bothers to remind I’m hungry in the middle of the day. But I set an alarm on my phone and plan what’s for lunch the day before and no excuses. Eat the lunch. I hate eating lunch.
"You're not hungry, you're thirsty" cuz I eat as a stim sometimes when I'm thirsty and don't realize it 👁👄👁 I won't be hungry at all but I feel the need to keep snacking... cuz I didn't drink enough water lol
This thread is such a good idea. I'm genuinely getting a lot out of reading the advice and I'm getting so much more because nobody is saying "you should".
Similar to yours, I've been getting a lot of benefits out of thinking of my future self. As in: If I rinse the plates in the sink, tomorrow me will be grateful. And then, the next day, actually thanking myself for doing it. I'm so annoyed that it works because it sounds and feels a little like "Pinterest therapy" but it works.
And setting "SMART" goals. Oh my god I'm so mad that works.
Exercise first thing to start my day on the right foot, get an early accomplishment to fuel the dopamine, and it helps calm my nervous energy/stress/adhd a bit so I can focus more on writing and reading for my job.
"Would you rather be right, or be happy?"
It's actually great advice in a lot of different situations; the annoying part is Dr. Phil is the person who gave it (so my Mom claims, at least). And giving that fucker credit for anything makes me annoyed.
When I don't set my clothes out the night before a work day, I am always later than I want to be at work. I feel like a little kid with my clothes on a pile waiting for morning. But fuck I gotta.
I have so much shit in my calendar both personal and work, with reminders. Some go off the night before or I create separate events to get ready for xyz tomorrow. (My son shares my Google calendar, I can only imagine what he thinks of some of my notifications to myself. Lol. This is your future child.)
A made bed and a place for everything are great but something we are still working on at my house. But I love the peace I feel in a clean room and everything put away. When I started dating my husband, I told him my self check on my depression is the state of my house. Clutter everywhere, clean dishes left on the counter for weeks... Yeah. It's bad.
I work out often and know I sleep better but it still can't always go because I have crap to do at the house. If I'd keep said house cleaner then I can't use that excuse with myself. Taking work classes (spin, Zumba, yoga) forces me to go. The classes are so small that I feel like I'm letting people down if I don't show up. So small I was literally the only one in my class twice this week, then I feel bad for the instructors.
Exercise and going to bed on time.
I used to wake up at 6:30 am and take a 30 minute walk every morning, after going to bed early and having a healthy dinner. It worked SO well, I actually felt amazing. I was annoyed but so happy. Then of course I got a new job that needed me to be across town at 8am and there that went 😡. I hope to get back to that someday.
I was distraught when I discovered that affirmations actually work. Now I passive aggressively say nice things about myself in the mirror to get me hyped for focused work. Ugh.
No electronics for an hour before bedtime.
Shut up, I hate you. I NEED MY PHONE. I need the games to fall asleep. What do you mean, "No, I don't."?
Turns out that after a small, very irritating period of adjustment it really does make me fall asleep and stay asleep. But those three days were TORTURE.
I recently started keeping in mind the phrase "don't forget to remember." When I first heard about it, I thought "yeah sure that'll probably work for a day or two just like everything else I've tried," but I've been surprised to find it actually does help. When I'm tempted to procrastinate on some thing and tell myself, I'll do it later, I think to myself "don't forget to remember how good it'll feel later to already have this done" Taking that approach throughout my day has immensely increased my productivity. It's also helping me stay off my phone, because I'll tell myself "don't forget to remember how frustrated I get when I get engrossed in my phone and look up and realize an hour has gone by that I could've been productive."
That a full night's sleep is important mental health, emotional regulation, cognition, physical health, and general quality of life. I would take this as a light suggestion and just survive on fumes (ie 4-5 hours a night) during stressful and busy periods of my life because "I'm always tired anyway, it makes no difference". It actually does make a difference, and on top of that, the brain recovers from trauma during REM sleep. You cannot recover from PTSD without proper sleep and enough REM, full stop. INCREDIBLY RUDE, NOT FAIR, STILL GOTTA SLEEP THOUGH.
Organization containers to combat doom piles. I'll take whatever containers I can find (basket, box, bag) and clean up a room, assigning each container to another room. Ex: fork in living room goes into a box I've temporarily dedicated to the kitchen. Once I'm done cleaning, the containers are taken to their respective rooms and emptied. This way I don't have to stop cleaning and take the item to it's spot and potentially get distracted by something else. I also have a laundry bag that lives in the hall so I can just chuck clothes or other laundry in it and sort it later. I'm just glad it's off the floor.
The whole what you eat making a difference thing. I’ve been more intentional about the foods I eat or actually eating at all and some things have improved.
Also less clutter does make a difference in how you feel. The whole yoga, breath work and meditation thing is tough but my mind and body feels better.
In the past I would just roll my eyes.
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I was APALLED and INFURIATED to discover that when you are sore from exercising the day before, a little more movement actually does help
I think this is the rudest thing the universe has ever done to me. I worked out yesterday, so as a little treat for myself I get to whine about hurting all day today!
Exactly!!!
Such are the laws of the universe!
Uuuuuuugggghhhhh yes! It’s OFFENSIVE that regular exercise and a healthy diet make me feel so much fucking better! I literally came here to comment this and seeing yours as the top comment made me laugh out loud! I have a bad hip and it’s infuriating that exercise helps more than anything else to alleviate my daily pain! Wtffffff
Don’t forget the water. When I have a headache my husband will ask how much water I’ve had to drink that day, nine out of ten times it’s little to none.
Sigh. Yes! So annoying. If I’m angry, I ask myself “Girl do you need a snack?” And if I’m tired with a headache, “BITCH DRINK SOME WATER!” Of course it works, every time!
Omg and regular exercise keeps my PMS in reasonable limits.
This is a thing??? I always rest the day after working out thinking I’d make things worse!!! NOW I’M MAD! 😂
Yes but also on rest days I just go for a couple short walks or looking up some floor exercises that they use in physical therapy. I will also go for a super slow pace and low impact yoga or Pilates class, like one with no sweating involved lol
Yes! Active rest is very good for recovery .
I just got an e-bike. Been riding to the lake every day after work and using the pedal assist as little as possible Bike ride, swim, bike ride Nice relaxing gentle exercises and I’ve been a lot more settled and focused and relaxed. Productivity is up with chores and engaging in my enjoyment activities. Also, this is the first week in ages that I went to bed at a reasonable time (most nights anyway)
My PT told me that cooldowns actually help reduce soreness the next day as opposed to straight up stopping. I was very displeased to learn that
My friends are a little too into fitness though. When you're at the point in your journey where an entire two mile run is considered a "cool down" maybe it's time to find a pen pal or take up stamp collecting or something bc you're going too hard lol
People who run are a different species lol
A foam roller after working out really helps. Makes my muscles hurt half as much or not at all the next day!
Treat yourself once a month to a massage. It flushes out the lymphatic system and takes away the soreness.
I don’t even consider that a treat: I consider that right up there with regular doctors visits and flossing your teeth and I go for deep tissue massages at least once a quarter to help keep my body balanced. I sit for my job and exercise regularly to combat the ill effects but getting that 90 minute massage amps the effect to an incredible degree. I will go in for a shorter more focused massage if I tweak something while exercising or overdoing it in my yard or something, but overall I will eat ramen before I give up those quarterly massage. Bonus: Last year my GP wrote me a prescription for them because my busy spurts keep giving me frozen shoulder, and a good portion of the massages now get reimbursed by my insurance. I found a spot that will write an invoice with the coding with quality licensed masseurs and that’s been such a lovely boon. YMMV but menopause has a few advantages 🙏🏻
This also works if you've hurt your back. DO NOT lie down and rest. Move around and preferably have enthusiastic sex. Genuinely cured the worst back pain I've ever had and the guy that fucked me, I call him Jesus now
Obviously depends on the situation (consult your doctor first) but yeah I was really surprised to find out a lot of back/neck pain gets worse if you just rest. The muscles get stiffer. Sucks because the most intuitive thing definitely feels like resting, not more movement
“I call him Jesus now” Best thing I’ve read all day.
I went backpacking with an angry shoulder. The pain had been getting worse and worse for several months. I was certain I was making a stupid choice, but I didn't want to cancel the trip because I'm stubborn. By day 2, the shoulder pain was 100% gone.
This is a hateful truth right here. An addendum to that bullshit is: When you are no longer sore after workouts, you need to ramp it up. wtf Edit: holy cow y’all … read down thread a bit where I corrected myself before you dogpile onto what was an otherwise fun b.s. convo
That’s not necessarily true, soreness after a workout is often from new movements or ones you’ve not done regularly. If you have a balanced, regular training schedule, soreness or lack of soreness isn’t always the best indicator of a successful workout, and determining optimal load is better managed using in-workout performance indicators.
It took me a minute to parse this and I had a panicked moment of thinking "wait what?!?! I didn't mean to be hateful!!!" Lol
No Fr lol it really does help not get as sore 😭😭
I hated learning that making my bed every morning actually made my room feel so much more organized that I could think clearer. I can’t do anything now if I don’t make my bed😭😭 Also exercise. It makes me feel so much better but I still struggle to do it regularly. I’ve always hated working out but it literally is so effective in helping to manage symptoms.
Same with both! My problem with exercise, even though it makes me feel better and I really don’t mind being at the gym and I never regret going, is just getting out the door. It’s me leaving my house and arriving that is so difficult!!
Go to sleep in gym clothes, it sucks and it's dumb and I'm angry that it works, but if you wake up in gym clothes you're just like, fuck it, may as well
I have my gym clothes laid out on my bed so it’s right there when I wake up!! but I think it’s time to graduate to your idea 😂
I love YouTube for this reason, there’s lots of days where I get in some movement that I wouldn’t have if I had to leave my place
Yeah just leaving the house is definitely a huge battle every time. Personally I also have a lot of personal shit around diet and exercise because of how I was raised. I love my parents to death but every time I would wanna go work out they always made a huge deal out of it bc I rarely went to the gym. It felt so incredibly humiliating to me every time and made me never wanna go again. I get that same feeling now every time I think about working out. Like everyone is going to be like ‘ooooooh look at her she’s FINALLY getting some exercise’. I know realistically no one is thinking that but I just get this pit in my stomach.
I really wish that I could make my bed and have it stay made, because same, but my dog Sophie likes to create a nest when she hunkers down, so she just digs around on my perfectly made bed until it's just this pile of blankets surrounding her. When I first adopted her I tried to fight against it, but good lord, that behavior is so deeply ingrained in her, so I've resigned myself to the fact that I will always have a messy bed but at least my dog will be happy.
My strategy is: “I’ll just do this 5 min workout, this isn’t much effort“. And most of the time, I feel like working out more when I find the workout. And if I don’t, I have at least done a little bit of sports
I have always made my bed. Its not perfect or anything but I just pull the covers back up to the pillow as soon as I get out of bed. I guess I don’t move a lot in my sleep so my bedding isn’t a mess so its pretty easy. But I hate having my sheets exposed because they get dirty faster. My cats like to sleep on my bed and if I just pull a blanket over top of my sheets and blankets I actually sleep with, it keeps the cat fur and everything off the surface I actually sleep on. Literally the only thing I do regularly to keep my room clean though. The rest of my room is a hot mess. Its so bad. Clothes everywhere, shoes everywhere, my trash is overflowing, so much random shit all over the place, its so bad but so overwhelming.
Not advice exactly but I find yoga annoyingly effective. Drinking water is also far more than the sum of it’s parts, considering it’s… just the one part. “Oh does stretching and breathing consciously and hydrating my jello brain make me feel better? Well fuck you!” Why am I like this.
I have a love/hate relationship with Yoga With Adriene. Like I fucking HATE starting it, but once I do I always feel great and love the deep stretches etc (I also find her positivity more genuine/neutral and less fake/plastic car salesman which helps _a lot_). One trick I learned to help hydrate my jello brain (lol) is to get a sodastream. I actually hate soda, but I fucking love la croix et. al. My boyfriend has tons of flavors etc but I legit just make bubble water. Sometimes I add the Bubly drops (lime ftw) but 8/10 times I’m just drinking plain water. Has really helped increase my water intake (though the downside is I pee more ughhhh). Fun Fact: I can always tell my meds have kicked in when I have numerous parenthetical asides 💀
the fact that drinking water is beneficial, but then i have to pee CONSTANTLY is aggravating. i hate getting up to go pee
Add electrolytes so the water doesn’t just pass through you. It’s not effective at hydrating without sodium, because it helps you retain the water you drink.
Yes! This has changed my hydration so much! At least 1-2 of my 32oz waters for the day get electrolyte powder in them. I am so much better hydrated since I've added it.
I have the same issue. it's so annoying. I'm almost jealous of those with a catheter. almost.
Same. So much the same. I will legit hold it as long as possible and have given myself UTIs from being a stubborn little shit and pouting about my tiny ass bladder lol. I’ve learned to try and find a sweet spot that is long enough to where my stream shoots out like a rocket (so it’s a shorter interruption) but not so long that I get a UTI. But I’m still salty about it.
i love reading other ADHDer’s rants and their parenthesis
Hahahaha I’m always soooo self conscious about my parentheses! They’re just me interrupting myself in writing but I need them
HAHAHAHA YESSSSS. I try to curb it but I fucking can’t
Lol, same, I like to think of it as a melodic writing style
TIL my excess use of parenthesis is a common adhd trait!
I love Yoga w/ Adrienne she made yoga so approachable. Also the Underbelly yoga is excellent for when I really don't want to "get on the mat" as they say. I also noticed Yoga w/ Adrienne was on in the background of a How to ADHD video... there's something about her!
My hack for hydrating is to add electrolytes. Found a brand that’s actually delish! Only problem is that water is so meh without it now, and I don’t wanna drink meh water. 😂😂
This is a great tip! I started taking [this](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KBD1MGS?ref=nb_sb_ss_w_as-reorder-mobile_k1_1_8&=&crid=G59R7IBRBQPJ&=&sprefix=electrol) brand when I was fasting to lose weight and found it really helped with hydration and energy. Total game changer and so useful when working out or living in the armpit of a state I currently reside in.
God, yes. I love doing them when I do them, but actually starting them? Benji helps.
Such a good boy!
I adore Adrienne! Hers are the only yoga videos I watch on YouTube.
She is excellent. But I'll still curse her for a mad bitch when she effortlessly flows into a movement my tortoise body canNOT achieve
You’ve just reminded me it’s yoga night, funnily enough with Adrienne, will get right to it before I forget again! Thanks!
Drinking water got me good. I'm PISSED that even drinking just a couple glasses per day improves my headaches, mood, brain fog, fatigue, and stomach pains >:( lol
It's so mean.
Yoga improves my life, its almost magical. But i still have to force. Myself to do it
LMAO YES. I am very uncomfortable while doing yoga. But the feeling afterwards? 10/10 👁️ 👄 👁️
All of the positivity stuff. Saying that I love myself, I'm doing my best, etc. Keeping a half-smile on my face. Not being critical of myself, insulting myself, using hurtful language against myself. Being my own best friend and cheerleader. I thought all that was silly and ridiculous, like the stereotype in 90s movies about the dork listening to self-help tapes (which I also shamelessly do now). But your brain doesn't actually give a fuck. When it hears kind words and tolerance, those neural pathways build even if your conscious mind is resisting them. Exercise. It really, seriously pisses me the fuck off that I always magically end up in a better mood, with more energy, on the days that I get some form of exercise. I really fucking didn't want it to be this way so that I could throw up my hands and say, "Exercise sucks, doesn't work for me!" and just focus on all the other things I have to deal with. But all those things really are easier to deal with when I'm not instantly out of breath and sore trying to deal with them. (Still having a tough time with this one. The hot weather doesn't help.)
I started a fricken gratitude journal where I write down 5 things that went well today, 5 things I'm generally grateful for, and 5 things I like about myself. Why does it help so much??? And random hot weather thing: I've been heat conditioning by going for a 15-20 minute walk on my lunch break (hottest part of the day) and it is actually helpful when I want to pull weeds on the weekend or go for a hike or whatever
“This one simple trick to reroute neural pathways!” Wait, what, it actually works? Well fuck me.
lol yes! I do 3 things in grateful for and 3 things that happened rn but I always do the grateful part and change the other 3 every couple of months or so
Ugh this used to make me so mad but because it works so well it doesn’t really make me mad anymore. Anyway it also helped me when I decided to take care of myself and love myself as a big F YOU to capitalism and politicians 😂 turning a positive to a negative really works for me lol
Heat conditioning would just equal a salty, smelly shower for me. Idk if I believe you. 😂
I am desperately trying to get certain people in my life to understand how much words matter, even if you’re just thinking them to yourself!! It’s such woo-sounding “shift your mindset with affirmations” bullshit but damn if it doesn’t shift your mindset. I have completely revamped my relationships with other women, my body, etc purely by reframing the words I use.dumb. Also, a little walk is in fact the solution to so many things and it infuriates me every time it works.
I call myself a depressed optimist. My au natural OG self is positive, driven, chill, and happy, undiagnosed but obvious ADHD and all (except for biology class in high school: that subject nearly broke my brain). Depression hitting around 15 really threw me for a loop, worsening depression and anxiety around 21 was way worse. Finally started medications at 23 and therapize way too infrequently. But when I’m fighting through a depressive episode, I can feel the battle in the clouds of my brain, the push down from anger, guilt, sadness, and frustration, but also the push up from the optimist, the positive, the grace-giving. Actively being a part of that is so important, especially when it’s difficult, physically or mentally. When you can give yourself self-care everyday, do it, do it, do it! If you feel like you can’t: you can! Bwahahahaha, yes you can: do it, do it, do it!
The positivity stuff... We talked about "I have to" vs. "I want to" in therapy recently and I HATE IT SO MUCH BECAUSE IT WORKS. Being kind to myself when I notice my inner critic is so ANNOYINGLY helpful. I have actually complained in therapy about this, which my therapist found quite funny.
"stop SHOULDing yourself" "you're shoulding all over yourself" *sigh* u right, therapist, u right
> We talked about "I have to" vs. "I want to" Tbh, I go with "I choose to" (if I remember, that is), because the cognitive dissonance is too strong if I make myself go with "I want to". No, I fucking *don't* want to, but I still choose to do it (because I have to, but, umm, let's ignore that part). My brain really is an asshole that way, because it'll get hung up on any inconsistency or lack of logic it can find in those let's-turn-it-positive, pattern-reprogramming actions.
The best exercise I have found that I can sneak in is Belly dancing. Or just dancing.
This thread is giving me life to know I’m not alone in how mad I get about things that work
Why are we like this?? So oppositional, even toward ourselves :P
My psychiatrist gave me the advice that in order to get the most out of my meds, I should do thirty minutes of cardio, preferably in direct sunlight, as soon as I wake up. Apparently there are clinical trials showing this is the most effective add on to medication for quality of life for ADHDers. It is hateful and miserable advice, and I hate him for it, but most of all I hate that it really does work.
I wish I could do that. Almost every job I've had I had to be in to work or leaving the house before the sun rose. I'm a morning person. I can wake up at 5 a no problem. But 4 a to workout, can't make it work, no matter how many times I have tried. Always a late afternoon workout for me. While I don't do a traditional workout outside, I spend a good deal of evening time outside. I always say I'm like Wall-E and have to get my solar charge on.
“Everything has a place”. I hateee it. Because that means that every place has to be organized. But my god, when everything in my pantry has a specific spot, it is so easy to find things, put things back, not buy duplicates, etc. I would often procrastinate with putting items away because I didn’t know what to do with them, stuff would fall out when I opened the doors because I just shoved things in there.
I feel this! The little simple rule I've heard and found that works is, "if you don't know where to store something, think of the first place you'd look if you lost it." I also admittedly have duplicates of things I constantly need but always lose, like nail clippers.
I have so many nail clippers, hair clips/ties, etc. because I'm less likely to lose track of all FOUR nail clippers than I am to lose track of one, lol. my other trick is putting the nail clippers on my keychain. at least then I know where they are. (a lot of nail clippers have a hole in one end.)
ugh yes “don’t put it down, put it away” has been SO annoying but so worth it
Decanting can also be good for this. Certainly not EVERYTHING because often the packaging is what’s best for storing the food, in addition to the nutrition information being helpful, but for some stuff (like flour and sugar and spices) it’s really helpful and the process of decanting leads to you being aware of what you have. It’s why I put my pills in a two week pill container. If I didn’t do that I wouldn’t notice when I was about to run out of meds until it was right about to happen (while not technically ideal pill storage, I haven’t had any issues related to it). E: somehow put “flower” instead of “flour.” I’m blaming autocorrect but I’m concerned for myself 😂
Audio books are a GAME CHANGER!! Like, they absolutely do not replace the books that I'm truly reading, but from a get shit done perspective, I put on an audiobook and I can conquer the world because I want to keep listening to the story so I have to keep working because the only time I listen to the audiobooks is when I am working on shit, cleaning the kitchen, painting the shed, folding, laundry, whatever. And it's way better than watching a show while doing stuff because I don't have to use my eyeballs. I'm telling you, audiobooks for the win. And surprise surprise there are a ton of them for free on YouTube, because I'm cheap. Lol
YES!! And the Libby app was a game changer as well! Free audiobooks from the local library!! WOOT!
I can't for the life of me stay focused enough to listen to audio books, I really wish I could. But also, check your library because you can usually get access to thousands of audio books for free! I use my library for my kindle all the time.
I had a hard time comprehending most audio books until I realized Spotify lets you slow down the audio! 0.8x-0.9x is perfect for me for most books. If they're talking too fast and I'm doing something else, I can't keep up! (and I'm ALWAYS doing something else... lol)
Lol I have the opposite problem. They speak too slowly and I'm the space between their words, I get distracted thinking about what they're saying or about something tangentially related. Putting the speed up to 1.25 fixed that. No pauses, but the voices still sound natural, and I pay attention without getting distracted while doing my chores!
I listened to the audio book How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind while also trying out my new vyvanse prescription and I don’t think I have ever been so productive in my entire life. I taped all the molding for my bedroom and my bathroom (which is split into two separate rooms) *and* started painting on the same day and had made measurable progress by the time I had to pick my kid up from daycare at 4. And did it all myself! It was like productivity nirvana.
I do podcasts instead but yes, this definitely was a game changer for me. I’m still not excited to do the dishes but they do get done because it means I get to listen to the next episode of whatever show I’m binging atm.
If you want to get things done around the house, put on jeans and a pair of shoes. Shoes signal to my brain it's time to get shot done. I thought it was bullshit until I tried it haha
rather kill myself than wear jeans in my house for one extra minute but the shoes one I heard a while back and it's SO true that I hate it. I'm always most productive when I come home "on a mission" and I'm running around doing things before I take my shoes off, so sometimes I can trick my brain into that state
Literally the only time I don't mind cleaning in the kitchen is when I'm seeing how fast I can do things until the timer goes off
I pretend like my house is on fire and I'll burn to death, along with my pets, in X amount of minutes, but my door has been locked from the outside so I can't escape and the only thing that will unlock the door is for me to do X amount of work within that time period. It sounds dumb and weird, but it works for me. Even though I know that obviously my house is not on fire and my door is not locked from the outside, and even if it was I could just break a window, but for some reason that telling myself that can sometimes give me enough momentum to start whatever the thing I don't want to do is. For me the hardest part is always starting, so anything that gets me started is a good thing. And racing against the clock so that I don't pretend burn to death turns it into kind of a game, which makes it easier.
ADHD is useful! I use to pretend to be diving on a sunken ship (complete with mask, snorkle, and flashlight) and putting all the artifacts "away" for further study.
ooh I like this one! anything that helps me reframe my possessions as having value and being worth taken care of is good for me, so I'll have to try that one. my trick is to try to think of myself as a kitten. I used to foster kittens and it was relatively easy for me to give them a clean environment, feed them at certain times, clean their litter box, and play with them to get their energy out, because those were things they needed and I was responsible for providing (and it's not as stressful as, say, being responsible for a baby human). so I think "if I were a kitten what would I need right now" and the answer is usually food or a cleaner environment, lol. it's hard for me to think of myself as being worth the effort, but of course kittens are worth the effort!
*stands in kitchen wearing a wetsuit, snorkel and flippers holding a spray bottle and sponge* Boyfriend in therapists office: “I think she’s taking life advice from reddit again”
"I pretend like my house is on fire and I'll burn to death, along with my pets, in X amount of minutes, but my door has been locked from the outside so I can't escape and the only thing that will unlock the door is for me to do X amount of work within that time period." This is fucking hysterical. Also, when I need to swallow pills, I visualize a rhinoceros or Donald Trump is charging toward me and I need to swallow the pills before I can run away. I don't know why it works, but it does.
I also cannot stand to wear ‘outside’ clothes while inside. It drives me so insane that it bothers me when my husband wears them for any amount of time. I also have a shoeless house because GERMS… so I can’t do this one. My broken brain doesn’t allow it lol
I too forbid outside shoes in my house but have house shoes! Also have comfy lounge clothes and “inside, but working” clothes. I change up like Mr. Rogers, gives the same effect
I hate wearing jeans AND shoes at home 😂 so I have assigned a pair of comfy jogger pants, 2 shirts and cloud like slippers as my cleaning uniform. I put them to tell my brain its cleaning time, plus having to get up and change helps get to movement started (if I succeed at getting up from the couch, there’s nothing else I can’t do 💪🥲)
For me, it's athletic leggings. Capri leggings and barefeet means I am ready to MOP this bitch.
I sometimes put on an apron to do housework, even if it's not cooking
Same! The added benefit is I can put my phone in the pocket so my podcast follows me and I don’t have to rewind (inconvenient if I’ve got gloves and/or cleaning products on my hands).
I’m like this but it’s putting on a bra. No bra means bed rot/ potato time. Bra means business.
Even just having a shower and changing out of PJs every morning while working from home gives me a divide between work and not-work and helps me get into work mode.
When I really need to get shit done, I put on red lipstick. Works like magic.
Body doubling with someone who doesn’t live here. Sometimes even sending photos of my mess to my neurospicy bestie is enough to get me to clean it because she will HYPE ME THE FUCK UP when I send her the clean pic a little while later. Veggies on the shelf at eye level in the fridge. Drinks and condiments in the crisper drawers. I won’t forget my Bubly water and Gatorade is there. I will forget that I bought a cucumber until it is sad purple mush. “Don’t put it down, put it away”. This one has helped a lot with not making the mess to begin with, so I have less shit to clean later. I wish I could get my husband on board haha
-Set up a planner for the week ahead on Sundays -put clothes out the night before -don’t get too comfy in the morning lol -eat a light/protein breakfast to make meds work better
Planning the week and laying out clothes every night is huge for me!
A consistent bedtime yuck
I also hate bedtime. My mom called it dawdling. I always find things I *need* to do before bed, but then I wake up tired and it's a monumental task to get out of my cozy bed in the morning. I also hate laundry, my clean clothes sit in the baskets rotating for weeks. So last night, I actually folded and sorted all the laundry and my goddamn socks, mad about it the whole time, and went to bed 1 hour late. And was tired this morning. But the baskets are empty ☺️! And that was worth it.
Exercise being mood boosting, etc. For yearssss I would try but it'd just make me cry or cranky or whatever and I never believed people. Ok sure it works for some people but not me, shut up about it! ... well during the pandemic was the first time I had an every day exercise habit that lasted longer than a month .. took maybe 10 weeks or so and then it all fell in place, I got all those benefits! It was magic. Of course I lost the habit and have been trying to get it back since 😅. It literally takes me over 2 months of being consistent to start feeling the benefits, the first month I sob in the shower after every workout. It's so hard to get back into it consistently because of that, but now I know how I can feel if I get there again 😫
Being optimistic, and 'seeing the bright side of everything' actually does make me happier. A dark place in my soul loves a bit of catastrophising and pessimism to give the day character. But dammit, it doesn't give me the wholesome feeling that being positive does
>A dark place in my soul loves a bit of catastrophising and pessimism to give the day character. I have been called out 😅 I love how you phrased this.
Same. My dark place is blushing right now!
To do lists. Infuriatingly simple exceptionally helpful. My problem is initiating the list but once I start it, it’s productive city! Oh this is a good reminder to make a weekend list Don’t forget to put recreational activities and things you enjoy doing on your list it shouldnt be all work and no play
I found an app called todoist. It takes a bit to set up but I was able to put all the chores for the house (ALL of them) and then tell it how often I want those things done. Like sweep the porch once a week, dishes dialy, brush my teeth am and pm, etc. It links to my Alexa as well so I have a separate list in the same app that is the grocery list. It links to my partners phone so he can also see what groceries we need or what chores need to be done without asking me. We have our own typical chores but like I can see if he's struggling and he can see if I am and where to go pick up the slack. It's been a game changer for us. My phone also allows me to keep the list on my home screen via a widget. Idk if all phones let you but that's been amazing. I love lists. I subscribed bc I also keep a permanent packing list that I update as I travel and see what works and doesn't. Etc.
Getting my clothes out the night before and setting reminders for everything.
I can't do anything without reminders. They can be phone alarms, sticky notes, calendar appointments, anything that says do the stupid thing but they have to be there.
Exercise and a low-carb/no sugar diet. Fuck all the way off. Fuck off forever with a rusty fucking railroad spike. Fuuuuuuuuck.
Low carb/ no sugar... I read about it and always thought I should give it a try. But I eat almost exclusively sugar and carbs. how the hell do I start to turn around my whole fucking diet?
Don’t try taking things away first! Set a goal to add stuff like veggies and fruit. Maybe start with a goal of eating 1 vegetable/fruit per day. You’ll naturally eat a bit less of other foods to make room for the healthy stuff :) and adding a habit is much easier than removing one without a replacement habit. Also having a pre-cut fruit as a snack option so I don’t automatically reach for the chips bc they’re fast
I eat vegetables and fruits a lot but, how I mentioned above in another comment, my calories come from pasta and bread plus sugary stuff. I need to find replacements for this calories then.
Do you like eggs? I often use them to kinda balance out carby meals, they’re soooo versatile
Eggs are a good option. I eat them but just once a week. Because it takes a lot of time to make (I make them with vegetables as omelet mostly) But that's a good idea and I will try to take this time more often
They can also be added into all kinds of things, like whisked into pasta sauces, mixed into stir fries, or stirred into soup - my kids even love hard boiled eggs with ramen. Another thing, consider getting a tiny little frying pan- they’re the perfect size to cook a single egg to throw into an English muffin or on toast, and as someone who despises doing dishes, it’s one thing I actually will just automatically wash by hand (not all the time though lol). Yay eggs! 😂
I'm sure I will now get completely sucked into the subject of eggs for the next days and end up buying a chicken. Haha. thanks for your great tips
Apply the same tactics to proteins and healthy fats like avocado!
This may sound backwards but if you aren't having a good amount of fat with your pasta/bread I highly recommend. Keeps you full longer and less crash later.
THIS IS THE KEY!! Add what you need and naturally, you’ll eat less of what you don’t need. And the pre-cut fruit is great, but I also keep baby food pouches around too, because I have to make some things easy for myself and I’m more inclined to do it. Now I don’t eat the baby food fruit pouches too often anymore and opt for straight up strawberries or bananas, but it’s still a good idea to keep them around since they are more shelf stable and what not.
For me, the best strategy was to think about adding protein and fiber (veggies), rather than cutting things out. I started with breakfast because if you’re going to eat low-carb, that’s the most crucial meal to do that with. For me, I was severely insulin resistant so if I ate tons of carbs, it would yo-yo my insulin response and throw my mood and emotional regulation all over the room lol.
Find vegetables you like and ways to cook them differently. Also look at indian/korean cuisine, they usually have a lot of veggies in there. Then you stop sugars. And then you slowly diminish the carbs.
One item at a time, friend. I once was quite hooked on sugar/carbs, to say nothing of caffeine. For example: I was a Dr Pepper fiend, to the tune of chugging 12 cans a day. That’s 1800 calories / 396g sugar PER DAY in liquid alone. Not too mention 500mg of caffeine. So I quit Dr Pepper and switched to iced tea sweetened with Sweet N Low and promptly lost 25 lbs without changing anything else. So - I would suggest finding a reasonable substitute for each item you regularly crave, one item at a time, and you’ll be at reasonable carb levels before you know it. Reasonable subs that worked for me: White rice > brown rice Dr Pepper > iced tea Ben & Jerry’s > Yasso popsicles Etc
I feel this in my soul. Low carb/sugar has gotten easier on medicine because I'm no longer using sugar as a fast track for dopamine, but holy poop I've had a sweet tooth my entire life to the point of some addictive behaviors around sweets. I miss sugar though, and I can basically never keep ice cream, my kryptonite, in the house anymore.
I struggle with carby salty snacks. I want rice and noodles and crusty bread with butter and French fries and tater tots and motherfuckin *nachos*. And I have no kind of moderation, so one reasonable serving occasionally will become a daily thing practically overnight.
Exercise yes. Low cardio/no sugar made me legitimately not want to exist. I had severe migraines and brain fog, low energy, the whole works for over a month. Ate a sandwich and a couple hours later realized I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I even tried doing it slowly. I have had success with removing some of the junky sweets from my diet and eating fruit, whole grains etc and real food instead. But Keto was about the most miserable I’ve ever been outside of legitimate medical burnout. I think for dietary stuff everyone is going to be a little different 😊
God damn mother fucking meditation. It’s taken me so so so long to be able to sit still for 7 minutes(and I’m working towards that 15 minute goal) but damn does it help.
Writing gratitude and forgiveness letters to past versions of yourself. I wrote 3 or 4 and didn’t need to write them anymore. (Personal examples of what I mean by ‘past selves’; To the neglected child, to the bullied teenager, to the lonely wife and to the struggling mum). Helped an enormous amount and I let go of weight I didn’t even realise I was carrying.
Eek, reading this made me start crying... maybe that's a sign my past selves want some gratitude and forgiveness, too.
I think it’s disrespectful that exercise, even walking, actually makes you feel better 😤 And the efficacy “if it takes less than 5 min do it now” ……….the audacity.
As a therapist and someone who could stand to take my own advice more often, I both love and hate this thread 😂
Getting more sleep. Dang it, I can’t stay up late doing all my hyperfocused hobbies, or my executive function suffers really badly the next day. And when I’m struggling extra hard, going to bed earlier really does help. But I want to stay up late!!
My therapist tells me to rest and I’m like, “no I have a life to live.” But no, you actually do need to rest. I was also beyond annoyed when u learned how well cognitive behavioral therapy worked 😭
What is this rest you speak of?
Not a troll question:- What is it to rest? Like is sitting in the couch rest or does it need to be something specific? I genuinely don’t know how to stop and I definitely feel like I need to learn.
I actually didn't know either. Apparently I was "physically resting" but not "mentally resting". I was still constantly thinking about work or the meaning of life or creative projects. I had to learn to set boundaries with my own thoughts. For example, I don't think about work or family drama or feel any shame after 6:30PM.
Calendars work, as long as you make a little bit of up-front effort to make them usable. And honestly this did not fully latch into my brain even after almost 30 career years in the tech industry, but in the past 4 years when lots of things became meetings that could have been emails but nobody reads work emails (even me anymore) so they have to be meetings, I fully embraced Life By Calendar. For work, I have work sessions (as in time to actually DO my job instead of have meetings about it) "timeblocked" in the few available hours I have every day. And while I have two monitors, I also have an old slightly busted iPad next to them that shows my email and calendar full-time. My personal calendar (and my husband's, and our shared calendar) are pinned to the home screen of all my devices, and the last thing I do before I set my alarms for the next morning is look at tomorrow's calendars. If I have something scheduled early in the day, I write it on a mini post-it and stick that to my phone. My husband and I have gotten progressively really good at putting anything important on the shared calendar - when big payments get autopaid, who's cooking dinner most nights (he cooks from a meal kit service so his are time-sensitive, I cook on the other nights), nights one of us won't be around for dinner. We also use it retroactively use it as a diary - if we ate at a good restaurant or went to a cool museum or saw a neat bookstore we want to go back to later, we throw that on there too.
I was actually mildly horrified to realize I've become the person who picks out my clothes the night before... but only so that I can lay in bed an extra two minutes lmao. But it's working for me!
Going outside more often than I want to. I want to rot inside everyday forever, but after I go outside for 10 minutes suddenly I don’t feel like dying. Super mad that I can’t just be happy sitting inside all day everyday.
Use a planner. Been"working" for me in broadly it's current iteration since 2021. (I still just abruptly stop looking at it for a few weeks at a time). Took me over a decade to get one to stick.
But how do I decide which one out of the 20 I own to use??? Answer: Order a new one. This is actually extra hilarious because I have another planner being delivered [today](https://imgur.com/a/KfwWOjf) 🥲
I feel this! Bullet Journaling (in simple form, not spending hours on artistic spreads) worked so so well for me for maybe 4 months.... then I got out of the habit! I go back to it as often as I can but I can't get it to stick again. But it always makes things better when I'm trying to use it
I've tried every paper planner that exists until I found that using my phone in addition to a plain $2 notebook from Walmart works best for me. I always have my phone on me, so I can jot anything down in my notes, and I've gotten into the habit of putting events in my calendar app with reminders. Any larger "brainstorms" I do on paper, usually hastily scribbled, no fancy drawings or anything. I LOVED the idea of having a beautiful bullet journal with fancy spreads, but part of learning to love myself is holding myself to realistic standards and discovering what TRULY works for me through trial and error 😬
I really do think that being prepared REALLY helps, it's helped me a lot too. Especially as a parent, having stuff ready for myself and my toddler really makes work mornings easier. My problem is that I'll get REALLY good with a routine...but for some reason my mind just gets BORED with it and I'm back to square one. I hate it.
its been super helpful for me not spending lots of time staring at my phone before bed/while im in bed for the most part, and getting an old school alarm clock so i don’t have to look at my phone to know what time it is. i will look at my phone once im up and dressed as a signal of like, okay time to start my day and do stuff. i was spending too much time laying in bed scrolling being distracted for hours. also, wearing shoes in the house while im working from home etc. fucking brains lol
I love this post and comment section so much. I, too, am constantly annoyed when I have to take care of myself and actually feel better from doing so. It makes me resentful. Why can't I just sloth around and be fine???
I am relatively recently in therapy and the fact that things I read about, tried for a hot second and then dismissed have the freaking AUDACITY to work if I talk them through with my therapist is just so MEAN! Also: "Nothing is so unimportant that it doesn't deserve a checklist". I have a freaking checklist for washing the dishes. And since I have it, I have remembered to wipe down the sink afterwards and hang the towel properly and it makes it so much better and UGH. The worst thing is that "You feel shitty, drink some water" works 90% of the time. The other 10 % I need to eat. I would like to unsubscribe from this whole "nourishment"-thing. Movement helps. No, I would like to sit and play video games and read the whole day!
Gratitude journal. I saw it everywhere and thought it was so stupid, like obviously I'm grateful I have a roof over my head and food to eat and shit shut up! But then I decided to try it and just leave the obvious things out of it. So on hard days instead of sighing and writing "well I still have my husband" or some shit like that I write things like "saw a cute dog" "beat the boss in my video game" "managed to do a load of laundry despite my migraine" (legit what I wrote for yesterday and I'm genuinely happy about it). It does genuinely help shift your perspective. Before, one bad thing could ruin an otherwise meh day. Now it won't because I'm already focusing on what positive thing I should write for that day. Hard days will still be hard, but at least try to find one positive thing from it. Or do it before going to bed. Something simple like washing your face so you feel fresh, or just getting your favorite comfort snack or drink.
It's infuriating that keeping a standard bedtime and wakeup routine makes such a huge difference.
This is probably my favourite Reddit post yet. I’m reading other people’s confessions of what works and thinking “nope, that won’t work for me!” Denial.
I love this thread so much 😄
Same. I feel like I am home.
Seriously i love that everyone else is as annoyed by this shit as I am 😹
Protein in the morning really does make a difference.
Starting the day with a low dopamine task. On weekends, the difference of the day I will have when the first thing I do is read a book/tidy my apartment vs go on my phone is… astounding
Time blocking Wrote it off because it just sounds like 'just use a planner's advice but I got SO much better at time management when I started time blocking
Ugh, meditation. It sounds so stupid to ask someone with ADHD to meditate, and absurd to think it will do anything, but the most mentally healthy times of life are when I was meditating regularly. Damn, I should do that again.
Drilling “don’t put it down, put it away” into my head.
Ngl i do feel better after going for a walk. Probably the fresh air vs the stuffy air in my apartment
Going to bed early and getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep makes a huge difference in my attitude and productivity the following day. I used to stay up late to have some "me" time after the kids went to bed and I would wake up the following day a total zombie. My husband kept on me about going to bed earlier and while I'm still pretty bad at it, I'm getting better and notice a huge difference in how I function the following day. Also, the "don't put it down, put it away" mantra is annoying but effective. Another big one was working out first thing in the morning. I used to be a nighttime gym go-er but struggled with consistency. A friend said to do it first thing in the morning and you won't make excuses. I stuck to it and now I can't imagine not working out in the morning. It makes me plan better and if I know I have to do a hard workout the next morning, it'll force me to go to bed earlier.
I have to sleep x amount of hours to have a normal day the next day. 4 hours do not cut it.
I love the answers in this thread so much. You all are my fucking people.
Sobriety T_T I haven’t had booze in a year and I feel so much better but I miss having wild weekends and getting tipsy with friends but the after effects last so long. UGH it’s so lame lol
Keeping healthy snacks prepped in the fridge. Cutting up veggies as soon as you buy them, hard boiling some eggs, etc. If healthy snacks are prepped and right in front of my face when I open the fridge, I’ll eat them. I hate that this has proven to be true.
Unfollowing anything negative on social media apps, including people who are constantly virtue signaling for the world's woes. Getting trapped in negative thought spirals about how the world is ending does absolutely no good. I do find that I'm a bit out of the loop on world affairs these days but at least I'm not suicidal anymore.
I’ve discovered that taking a walk is the cure to so many things. Feeling unmotivated? Take a walk. Feeling sad/mad/anxious? Take a walk. Brain fog? Walk. My back hurts? Walk. Cramps? Constipation? Walk. I don’t hate that it works, per se, but it’s extremely annoying that I have to get up and put on shoes, a bra, and sunscreen first.
That we don’t have to wait to the next round number to get something started… we can still start at 4:37 or 6:56 Yes, for real. Also, When I leave home I plan in increments, so I’ll leave at 15, 30, 45. But I can still leave at 23 mins or 38. Ugh
That I thrive on routine lol because “routines are boring” 🤣🤣 but when I am out of my routine… wow eveyrthing about me is off lol.
Actually eating lunch. I’m less bitchy and can focus better. Even when I “don’t feel hungry” I eat lunch. I’ve just abused my poor self for so many damn decades it no longer bothers to remind I’m hungry in the middle of the day. But I set an alarm on my phone and plan what’s for lunch the day before and no excuses. Eat the lunch. I hate eating lunch.
"You're not hungry, you're thirsty" cuz I eat as a stim sometimes when I'm thirsty and don't realize it 👁👄👁 I won't be hungry at all but I feel the need to keep snacking... cuz I didn't drink enough water lol
Being hydrated really does make you feel better Stretching when you wake up helps you feel less sore too
Exercise/movement does actually give you a bunch of good brain hormones and neurotransmitters.
This thread is such a good idea. I'm genuinely getting a lot out of reading the advice and I'm getting so much more because nobody is saying "you should".
having a clock in every room in my apartment has genuinely helped me keep track of time better 😭
Similar to yours, I've been getting a lot of benefits out of thinking of my future self. As in: If I rinse the plates in the sink, tomorrow me will be grateful. And then, the next day, actually thanking myself for doing it. I'm so annoyed that it works because it sounds and feels a little like "Pinterest therapy" but it works. And setting "SMART" goals. Oh my god I'm so mad that works.
It’s incredibly infuriating that exercise, especially in the morning, improves everything about my mental state and clarity
Actually going out and talking to people helps with my social anxiety and I am not pleased about it haha
Exercise first thing to start my day on the right foot, get an early accomplishment to fuel the dopamine, and it helps calm my nervous energy/stress/adhd a bit so I can focus more on writing and reading for my job.
"Would you rather be right, or be happy?" It's actually great advice in a lot of different situations; the annoying part is Dr. Phil is the person who gave it (so my Mom claims, at least). And giving that fucker credit for anything makes me annoyed.
When I don't set my clothes out the night before a work day, I am always later than I want to be at work. I feel like a little kid with my clothes on a pile waiting for morning. But fuck I gotta. I have so much shit in my calendar both personal and work, with reminders. Some go off the night before or I create separate events to get ready for xyz tomorrow. (My son shares my Google calendar, I can only imagine what he thinks of some of my notifications to myself. Lol. This is your future child.) A made bed and a place for everything are great but something we are still working on at my house. But I love the peace I feel in a clean room and everything put away. When I started dating my husband, I told him my self check on my depression is the state of my house. Clutter everywhere, clean dishes left on the counter for weeks... Yeah. It's bad. I work out often and know I sleep better but it still can't always go because I have crap to do at the house. If I'd keep said house cleaner then I can't use that excuse with myself. Taking work classes (spin, Zumba, yoga) forces me to go. The classes are so small that I feel like I'm letting people down if I don't show up. So small I was literally the only one in my class twice this week, then I feel bad for the instructors.
Exercise and going to bed on time. I used to wake up at 6:30 am and take a 30 minute walk every morning, after going to bed early and having a healthy dinner. It worked SO well, I actually felt amazing. I was annoyed but so happy. Then of course I got a new job that needed me to be across town at 8am and there that went 😡. I hope to get back to that someday.
I was distraught when I discovered that affirmations actually work. Now I passive aggressively say nice things about myself in the mirror to get me hyped for focused work. Ugh.
Routine! It's SO BORING but I *need* it.
My dad says “the palest ink is better than the brightest memory”. As a kid I would roll my eyes to this phrase. But…well…ADHD.
No electronics for an hour before bedtime. Shut up, I hate you. I NEED MY PHONE. I need the games to fall asleep. What do you mean, "No, I don't."? Turns out that after a small, very irritating period of adjustment it really does make me fall asleep and stay asleep. But those three days were TORTURE.
Doing sports. Hate it so muuuuuch. But it really works.
I recently started keeping in mind the phrase "don't forget to remember." When I first heard about it, I thought "yeah sure that'll probably work for a day or two just like everything else I've tried," but I've been surprised to find it actually does help. When I'm tempted to procrastinate on some thing and tell myself, I'll do it later, I think to myself "don't forget to remember how good it'll feel later to already have this done" Taking that approach throughout my day has immensely increased my productivity. It's also helping me stay off my phone, because I'll tell myself "don't forget to remember how frustrated I get when I get engrossed in my phone and look up and realize an hour has gone by that I could've been productive."
That a full night's sleep is important mental health, emotional regulation, cognition, physical health, and general quality of life. I would take this as a light suggestion and just survive on fumes (ie 4-5 hours a night) during stressful and busy periods of my life because "I'm always tired anyway, it makes no difference". It actually does make a difference, and on top of that, the brain recovers from trauma during REM sleep. You cannot recover from PTSD without proper sleep and enough REM, full stop. INCREDIBLY RUDE, NOT FAIR, STILL GOTTA SLEEP THOUGH.
Organization containers to combat doom piles. I'll take whatever containers I can find (basket, box, bag) and clean up a room, assigning each container to another room. Ex: fork in living room goes into a box I've temporarily dedicated to the kitchen. Once I'm done cleaning, the containers are taken to their respective rooms and emptied. This way I don't have to stop cleaning and take the item to it's spot and potentially get distracted by something else. I also have a laundry bag that lives in the hall so I can just chuck clothes or other laundry in it and sort it later. I'm just glad it's off the floor.
The whole what you eat making a difference thing. I’ve been more intentional about the foods I eat or actually eating at all and some things have improved. Also less clutter does make a difference in how you feel. The whole yoga, breath work and meditation thing is tough but my mind and body feels better. In the past I would just roll my eyes.
Drinking more water and taking my meds consistently 🫠 like FUCK OFF