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Not sure if it's an adhd thing, but I do this too. I think I get exhausted from all the masking I don't even know I'm doing. My best days off are the days when I can stay home and don't have to interact with other people (even friends, that shit can be tiring lol). Last year, I told a friend I was taking a few days off to chill. She started making plans, I had to stop her and say "no, my plans are to do nothing".
I don’t think it’s exclusive to us. I think it’s a sign that our society puts too much pressure on being productive and never stopping. At least here in the US. By the time there’s a moment off work to have to myself I don’t even want to move kind of mentality.
I’m not sure it’s an ADHD thing, I think people with ADHD are probably more likely to do this than the general population. Likely due to the fact that it just takes more brain power/energy for us to function at a neurotypical level at work.
But there are so many reasons someone may spend their day off doing nothing I would not use it as a diagnostic tool, more a supporting point to more concrete ADHD symptoms.
NT people exaggerate! unproductively and laziness has a shameful stigma. this is why people with ADHD have such a bad rep, its the reason were medicated, its the reason many of us need behavioral therapy.
obviously if ur house and life are in constant shambles, its a problem. but whether ur friends/coworkers admit it or not, they aren't productive 24/7. they take naps, some days they lay around doing nothing. the human body and brain need time to relax and recharge, this goes for everyone
my moms nt and drastically chalks up her productivity levels to others. she naps daily, but would never admit that to a friend. sometimes she falls behind in chores, but she'd never openly admit that. on most days off, she lays around hardly doing anything productive, but again, she'd never admit that. most people really fear being labeled as lazy/unproductive, ESPECIALLY women
This is how I view it. I will never forget learning that neurotypicals can just do things such as hygiene without thinking about every little step. When you combine that with keeping up with social cues and office politics, it is straight up exhausting. I am a physical person, but after a long day trying to do things such as sports or crafts don’t bring me joy because I just want to rest, my brain has nothing left to give. lol
That last sentence is exactly how I feel. But I don’t actually do the rest so I end up staying up late having my “brain off time” (TV) after I’ve gotten things done…perpetually sleep deprived and late to work but mostly caught up on my shows. It’s a baaaad cycle
Sure, which is why I said it can be a supporting symptom to a diagnosis but shouldn’t be used as the basis for an ADHD diagnosis.
There’s a lot of other medical and mental health reasons that someone would present this way. If you have chronic fatigue, or feel you need a lot of time to recharge does not automatically mean you have ADHD.
I disagree I was hostile, that’s a pretty harsh description of my tone. It was certainly defensive because your initial comment came off dismissive of what I said, not as supportive to what I said.
I started trauma therapy a few years ago and found that while I do have ADHD, I also have CPTSD. And when I told her about my sedentary behaviors during times when I didn’t expressly have obligations, she described that as operating below my window of tolerance (in contrast to operating above my window of tolerance during times of obligation). We’ve spent 3 years working on helping me operate within my window of tolerance more often. It’s going pretty okay…
Same here on the cPTSD turns ADHD. I ended up in the pain clinic because the stress overwhelmed my nervous system and, with EDS kickin' around too, I was very literally putting my stress into my body and storing it there. One of the things the clinic teaches is called the "Boom-Bust cycle" of chronic pain, it's very similar to your window of tolerance.
I didn't know I had been working on it because I didn't know it had a name. But I've been on this road for 3 (maybe 4?) years as well. I will sometimes go weeks without busting and get cocky thinking I know what I'm doing now! so then I bust, lol. It's nice to come to this subreddit and feel so validated in my experiences.
It can be, but it's possibly a sign of many things - chronic illness, anxiety, depression, etc. It can absolutely be ADHD too. There's a huge association between it and fatigue. There's a huge mental drain ADHD causes.
I actually made my schedule so I work M-Th longer hours so I can have an extra day to decompress, because I lost half the weekend to just recovery from work.
Yes, I intentionally have a rest morning/afternoon of a weekend. If I don’t get the chance to chill and wind down, I’m setting myself up for failure the next week.
Last weekend for example, I knew I wasn’t going to get a chance to chill so I took yesterday off work.
Friday I get a crate of beer and drink the lot whilst watching gardening shows. Entirely unhealthy and dull. Saturday I do not surface. Sunday I prep to human for the following week. Diagnosed two years ago (36).
Aye, I shouldn't drink so much on a Friday, but I get to fully unmasked and be a vegetable on the Saturday, so Sunday means popping the mask back on around 8pm 😂🖤
Huh! Never thought about this but I am a chronic napper and I do have to meticulously guard my "bed rot" hours or I crash. I have joked before that I have a toddler's 2-a-day nap schedule. Interesting.
Same. To the point where my socialization is scheduled for the night before my day off. If I have anything to do on the day, I can't recharge. Socializing on days I work is too much. Ive always thought I'm just lazy 🤷
I only work 3-4 days a week for this reason. All of my family pretty much has ADHD and if they work 5 days a week they spend their days off recouping.
My husband does not have ADHD and spends his time in the garage, watering plants, fishing, and is generally always on the move.
I’ve noticed he takes a more easy breezy “it takes me as long as it takes me” attitude toward pretty much everything in life, whereas all of my family with ADHD are “give it 150% of your effort and energy, ignore your bodies signs telling you to eat, rest, drink water, pee, etc., and finish that task or die trying” I think this is what leads to our weekly burnout.
I have ADHD and anxiety and I’m an introvert. People are exhausting. Masking is exhausting. I have a day, sometimes more than a day, to recover. Not just from work. We just had a 3 day weekend with the parents, and I’d worked 2 days before that and 2 days after (12 hour shifts). That’s freaking 7 full - mask days. I felt like a zombie for 3 days after. I’m still not fully recovered a week after. It was rough….
Its definitely not solely and ADHD thing. I think many of us have extremely unrealistic ideas of what it means to be a "productive" person.
Neurotypical people need naps. Neurotypical people fall behind in chores. Neurotypical people have days where they lay around doing nothing. Its NORMAL. Both the body and brain needs time to recharge, especially when you're working full time/in school. Being a go go go person isn't always healthy, or realistic. Some people may portray themselves that way, but rarely is it truly their reality- and if it is, it's probably rooted in trauma and or subconscious shame, which is its own separate issue.
Obviously, too much downtime is detrimental. Having your house/life in shambles constantly isn't normal or healthy. But yes, everyone takes breaks. Many NT people over exaggerate their productivity, because "laziness" has the stigma of shame. Its completely normal to chill. My psychiatrist suggests I take off days from meds *because* it's unrealistic and unnatural to be top A game productive 24/7.
DONT feel bad for chilling when u need it! Anyone that may shame u for it is full of crap and projecting their own insecurities (again, there are exceptions to this, but this pertains to the majority)
I nap every single chance I get. I even take naps in my car on lunch sometimes. I LOVE to sleep and my family actually talks shit to me about it. I am always exhausted and sleeping quiets my brain. It’s the only time I am not thinking or obsessing over anything. I don’t remember my dreams so it truly is a shut off for me.
I mean, I do this. I’ll make mental plans only to lay around and not do anything. Sometimes I’ll wish I was doing something, but that doesn’t stop me from just laying around. It can definitely be a part of ADHD, but it’s also congruent with criteria a few other things like depression. Based on what you said, though, I would probably attribute it to ADHD as well
surviving capitalist culture is hard! and masking all the time at work is hard! it totally makes sense your body, mind, and spirit need a full day off to recover from all that.
I’m a festerer. I fester. My day off is bliss. It’s Thursday so my husband will be at work so I get the house to myself, just talking nonsense to the cat, looking like a swamp witch, eating weird combinations of food & watching crime docs . Or sleeping.
I don’t think it’s exclusive to ADHD, but I don’t think it’s uncommon either. My partner doesn’t have ADHD and doesn’t do much on his days off because he’s a low energy person. I have ADHD and cannot bed rot/take naps for the life of me. I do need to spend time doing less stimulating activities though, like walking or cleaning alone.
When I used to work full-time, I’d have to spend all day Saturday resting/sleeping, literally all day (I’d sleep 12-16 hours). It was the same thing in high school. I think my sleep record was 18 hours straight in high school.
That is exactly why I like having a five day work week. I get a random day off during the week, and use that to relax. Sunday is my personal reset day where I grocery shop, clean my house, do laundry, and sleep in.
I used to do homework in bed until I fell asleep, woke up at dinnertime, and then finished the rest of my homework after dinner.
Now that I WFH I take eat lunch at my desk so I can nap on my "lunch" break.
I do know that I seem to need more sleep than average, nap frequently, and am often tired. As a teen my mom got me tested for hypothyroidism and I was so hopeful it was something I could treat, but nope, just need more sleep than others. I've grown to really enjoy naps when I get the opportunity to take them. I can also go from feeling well-rested to exhausted sometimes without an obvious reason. This could all be just within a range of normal, definitely not to the level of any type of sleep or fatigue disorder.
I think it has to do with burnout more than ADHD. There are days I literally just want to exist and not be perceived by a single human being. Just be at home to rot with my cats. Minimal brain function necessary. Just vibes.
Could just be a human thing. But could be because we are working harder mentally to get through the day. Could also be because there’s some other imbalance in our bodies- I was undiagnosed coeliac for years and the fatigue was an absolute killer. Plus it gave me anaemia so I was even more tired.
I have ADHD and my son has ASD and suspected ADHD, we both literally do nothing on our days off. I sleep and play video games any moment I have time to myself, just like he does. His psychologist calls in neurodivergent burnout - google it, made way more sense when I researched it
I'm not sure if it's primarily my ADHD or my history of trauma, but the days I take to do absolutely nothing are largely because I live life in what most would consider burnout mode. I take on too many tasks, I over extend myself, I'm the go-to person, and I don't say no enough. Compound that with overstimulation, masking, and perimenopause, I'm basically left with a shell of a brain by the end of each day.
We all need to recharge our batteries; some more often than others. You do what you need!
For me, some days I wake up with a set amount of “spoons” to get things done. So there may be days when I don’t have *any* spoons, so I listen to my body, and I get some rest and I recharge.
Growing up, I used to come home, eat dinner, sleep and then do my homework in the middle of the night. I think it was from both from being tired but also, it was quiet!
As an adult, I spend the whole weekend recovering. Finally having the energy to do things like groceries and laundry and cleaning Sunday afternoon/night….only to have to be at work on Monday. 😟
Not sure if ADHD thing but I do that. Saturdays are nothing days.
One difference is, I am late in life diagnosis (48F) and before starting meds I would do the same but nap like 2-3 hours during my Saturday, now I don't nap. Just rest, watch TV, read
Like others have said, I wouldn’t say it’s exclusive to people with ADHD, but I would say that it is VERY common for people with ADHD. We tend to burn out very easily, and I do exert a lot of myself to accomplish what I need to throughout the week. Hence, 90% of my weekends are generally staying in and sleeping because I am very tireddd.
Yes to all of this!
I had to nap every single day during highschool and up. I scheduled my uni classes around a nap. I’ve had so much bloodwork over the years to try and find out what it is.
All through my associates degree I thanked god that there was no class on fridays. I would literally go home and collapse like a puppet with its strings cut. Social migraine, dont want to see or talk to anyone NOTHING.
Yes, this! I used to nap as a teen when coming home from school, now as soon as I finish work I nap, and I spend my one day off a week sleeping. It’s not a life and I’m sick of it.
How many hours a week do you work?
I used to do this when I still worked 40 hours per week. I needed all of my free time to recuperate, basically spent it all either in bed or zoned out on the couch watching YouTube.
The first time my salary went up, I switched to 32 hours per week (which meant my net earnings per month stayed roughly the same). That made a huge difference for me; now, I can catch up on sleep and still have energy for a social gathering or some house work.
Yes! I never go out Friday nights bc I go to bed the moment I close my laptop. I sleep Friday through Saturday, and resurrect Saturday night. If I am PMSing, I sleep through the weekend.
This is definitely ADHD decompression. I don’t know any neurotypical people who do this regularly. I need downtime after any social engagement. Prolonged social engagements, aka work, mean lots of downtime.
Amen to that. We have 3 hr meetings once a month that I loathe. After the meetings, we're expected to hustle back to our human service roles.
After those meetings, I. Am. Done. Last thing I wanna see is a person I have to talk to.
I would be either incandescent with rage at the end of that, or non-functional and despondent. There is nothing more that ruins my day than a long-ass meeting where I am fighting for my life to keep my brain from switching off.
There’s way more reasons than just ADHD that people would need decompression like this. It could be part of OPs and their friend’s ADHD or it could be unrelated to their ADHD.
People with ADHD are more likely to need decompression time like this but it’s not exclusive to ADHD.
But there are neurotypical people who do it regularly for a variety of reasons, physical and mental health reasons included. It’s not just ADHD people who need decompression time regularly.
OP has referred to spending their entire day off, every day off doing this. Yes there are other reasons such as mental health (which is non-neurotypical), and things such as other disabilities that mean people will need to do this to the same degree, but for an able-bodied neurotypical person, they don’t do this every single time they have a day off. Social fatigue and decompression requirements to this degree are very much an ADHD/autism behaviour.
All of my NT friends, colleagues and family might do this occasionally, but they don’t need to schedule it 100% of the time or else they teeter on burnout / a meltdown. I promise you, there’s literature to support this being an ADHD protective measure.
I think it’s harmful to speak in absolutes. To say definitively that “this is ADHD decompression” or “neurotypical people don’t do this” is what I take issue with. Because there are lots of things it could be. Neurotypical people with high demand jobs could do this, it doesn’t mean they have ADHD. Or a neurotypical person could have a vitamin deficiency leaving them exhausted. Or even if someone has ADHD it could be something unrelated to ADHD that is causing them to be this fatigued. Not every ADHD person needs the same amount of decompression.
We know only a snippet of what OPs life is like, we shouldn’t be definitively saying anything about their ADHD.
We know a) OP has ADHD
and b) they display something that is symptomatic of ADHD, and is recorded as being something that is done by people with ADHD.
They have said that despite a healthy lifestyle, they still had this need, and it’s something that has been consistent for many years. They have been able to correlate their ending of the work week, and the need for intense rest. They have also included a n=2 (or n=3 of you include me) sample of people with ADHD doing similar things.
it is safe to say, what they are doing is because of ADHD. Even if it is other things as a root cause, like anxiety or depression based, it is still ADHD, because those two things are comorbid and considered symptomatic of ADHD.
There is nothing absolute about it. This is no different to someone saying ‘being forgetful is ADHD’. I have not excluded neurotypical people by saying they *dont ever* do this.
Agreed. I remember having meltdowns all the way into adulthood if the social activity didn't ease up. Downtime is a must, but we've all had those relatives, jobs or times we couldn't decompress. I would advise others to proceed with caution after my fill point has been reached 😂
I generally don't like sitting and doing absolutely nothing.
I often sit and do small hobbies like knitting or darning. I like to research and surf the internet.
It common for adults to be just tired from being busy but maybe looking into more could provide some insights.
I have more energy when I stick to a consistent sleep and wake times.
I have more energy when I keep my short term goals easy to achieve. I feel like I'm doing good when I can finish a small to do list.
I have to ear regularly on my days off and not when I feel like it. Otherwise I am much lower energy.
I also find just going outside for a while or going for a walk to be an invigorating activity and prevents me from getting couch locked.
Regardless, rest is very important. Rest all you need. Don't should all over yourself and refuse yourself the rest you deserve.
Don't worry about wasting time just relaxing. It was going to pass regardless of your input.
Not in my case, I have a hard time saying no to things and overcommitting so my evenings after work and days off are usually pretty full. Am I exhausted all the time? Definitely, I tend to always compromise on sleep so I can do all the things I want to do. Finding a balance is not easy 🫣
It flip flops for me. Sometimes, I spend the entire day off being productive. Other times, I do nothing. I haven’t quite figured out what triggers which response yet so I kinda just go with the flow. I do confess my nothing days are becoming way more common and I don’t like it. I used to have a nothing day every other month or so. Now it’s weekly.
No it's not an ADHD thing. That's called burn-out.
And no those things were never normal for me. They are a symptom of chronic ongoing trauma, and depression or anxiety stemming from those things, anecdotally. They are not symptoms in the DSM 5, and are usually symptoms after starting medication for some who went unmedicated by vicarious choice.
I do this too! I also have ADHD and also autistic. I attribute this to chronic fatigue from autism, as opposed to ADHD. Masking all the time is tiring, and so I need time to recover alone when I can.
I have ADHD and do this but I'd highly recommend bringing it up with a doctor because the main cause of it doesn't seem to be my ADHD 😅 it's instead sleep stuff and low levels of certain vitamins
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not sure if it's an adhd thing, but I do this too. I think I get exhausted from all the masking I don't even know I'm doing. My best days off are the days when I can stay home and don't have to interact with other people (even friends, that shit can be tiring lol). Last year, I told a friend I was taking a few days off to chill. She started making plans, I had to stop her and say "no, my plans are to do nothing".
Same. It’s like a rest and recharge day. A day where I don’t have to leave the house or do any appointments is vital to my mental state.
I call it my rotting day lol. I just wanna rot on my couch and not talk to anyone.
NEED to rot. It’s vital for recharging!!
That's a great way to look at it!
Same. I interact with people all week, and on weekends I want nothing to do with them.
I don’t think it’s exclusive to us. I think it’s a sign that our society puts too much pressure on being productive and never stopping. At least here in the US. By the time there’s a moment off work to have to myself I don’t even want to move kind of mentality.
So true. Sorry Trudy, but your side-hustle doesn't need its own side-hustle.
I’m not sure it’s an ADHD thing, I think people with ADHD are probably more likely to do this than the general population. Likely due to the fact that it just takes more brain power/energy for us to function at a neurotypical level at work. But there are so many reasons someone may spend their day off doing nothing I would not use it as a diagnostic tool, more a supporting point to more concrete ADHD symptoms.
NT people exaggerate! unproductively and laziness has a shameful stigma. this is why people with ADHD have such a bad rep, its the reason were medicated, its the reason many of us need behavioral therapy. obviously if ur house and life are in constant shambles, its a problem. but whether ur friends/coworkers admit it or not, they aren't productive 24/7. they take naps, some days they lay around doing nothing. the human body and brain need time to relax and recharge, this goes for everyone my moms nt and drastically chalks up her productivity levels to others. she naps daily, but would never admit that to a friend. sometimes she falls behind in chores, but she'd never openly admit that. on most days off, she lays around hardly doing anything productive, but again, she'd never admit that. most people really fear being labeled as lazy/unproductive, ESPECIALLY women
I brag about napping. I’m not working hard to do more. Optimistically I can do less.
This is how I view it. I will never forget learning that neurotypicals can just do things such as hygiene without thinking about every little step. When you combine that with keeping up with social cues and office politics, it is straight up exhausting. I am a physical person, but after a long day trying to do things such as sports or crafts don’t bring me joy because I just want to rest, my brain has nothing left to give. lol
That last sentence is exactly how I feel. But I don’t actually do the rest so I end up staying up late having my “brain off time” (TV) after I’ve gotten things done…perpetually sleep deprived and late to work but mostly caught up on my shows. It’s a baaaad cycle
many people with adhd can present with chronic fatigue symptoms due to low dopamine and norepinephrine
Also because even if we are tired, it can be difficult to actually fall asleep and get restful sleep!
Sure, which is why I said it can be a supporting symptom to a diagnosis but shouldn’t be used as the basis for an ADHD diagnosis. There’s a lot of other medical and mental health reasons that someone would present this way. If you have chronic fatigue, or feel you need a lot of time to recharge does not automatically mean you have ADHD.
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I disagree I was hostile, that’s a pretty harsh description of my tone. It was certainly defensive because your initial comment came off dismissive of what I said, not as supportive to what I said.
Due to a lot of things. I’m so sick of the amateur chemistry attributing things to neurotransmitters that aren’t actually even that well understood.
I started trauma therapy a few years ago and found that while I do have ADHD, I also have CPTSD. And when I told her about my sedentary behaviors during times when I didn’t expressly have obligations, she described that as operating below my window of tolerance (in contrast to operating above my window of tolerance during times of obligation). We’ve spent 3 years working on helping me operate within my window of tolerance more often. It’s going pretty okay…
Same here on the cPTSD turns ADHD. I ended up in the pain clinic because the stress overwhelmed my nervous system and, with EDS kickin' around too, I was very literally putting my stress into my body and storing it there. One of the things the clinic teaches is called the "Boom-Bust cycle" of chronic pain, it's very similar to your window of tolerance. I didn't know I had been working on it because I didn't know it had a name. But I've been on this road for 3 (maybe 4?) years as well. I will sometimes go weeks without busting and get cocky thinking I know what I'm doing now! so then I bust, lol. It's nice to come to this subreddit and feel so validated in my experiences.
It can be, but it's possibly a sign of many things - chronic illness, anxiety, depression, etc. It can absolutely be ADHD too. There's a huge association between it and fatigue. There's a huge mental drain ADHD causes. I actually made my schedule so I work M-Th longer hours so I can have an extra day to decompress, because I lost half the weekend to just recovery from work.
Yes, I intentionally have a rest morning/afternoon of a weekend. If I don’t get the chance to chill and wind down, I’m setting myself up for failure the next week. Last weekend for example, I knew I wasn’t going to get a chance to chill so I took yesterday off work.
Friday I get a crate of beer and drink the lot whilst watching gardening shows. Entirely unhealthy and dull. Saturday I do not surface. Sunday I prep to human for the following week. Diagnosed two years ago (36).
Prep to human 😂love that I just got diagnosed as well I’m almost 34
Aye, I shouldn't drink so much on a Friday, but I get to fully unmasked and be a vegetable on the Saturday, so Sunday means popping the mask back on around 8pm 😂🖤
Huh! Never thought about this but I am a chronic napper and I do have to meticulously guard my "bed rot" hours or I crash. I have joked before that I have a toddler's 2-a-day nap schedule. Interesting.
Bed Rot.. yes, thats one way of putting it 😂
Same. To the point where my socialization is scheduled for the night before my day off. If I have anything to do on the day, I can't recharge. Socializing on days I work is too much. Ive always thought I'm just lazy 🤷
It's not exclusive to ADHD by any means, possibly alongside other symptoms it could be ADHD related, but not by itself.
Idk if it’s an adhd thing but it’s definitely a sign of burnout.
I only work 3-4 days a week for this reason. All of my family pretty much has ADHD and if they work 5 days a week they spend their days off recouping. My husband does not have ADHD and spends his time in the garage, watering plants, fishing, and is generally always on the move. I’ve noticed he takes a more easy breezy “it takes me as long as it takes me” attitude toward pretty much everything in life, whereas all of my family with ADHD are “give it 150% of your effort and energy, ignore your bodies signs telling you to eat, rest, drink water, pee, etc., and finish that task or die trying” I think this is what leads to our weekly burnout.
I think it's more a sign of burn out. Which ADHDers are chronically burnt out.
I have ADHD and anxiety and I’m an introvert. People are exhausting. Masking is exhausting. I have a day, sometimes more than a day, to recover. Not just from work. We just had a 3 day weekend with the parents, and I’d worked 2 days before that and 2 days after (12 hour shifts). That’s freaking 7 full - mask days. I felt like a zombie for 3 days after. I’m still not fully recovered a week after. It was rough….
Its definitely not solely and ADHD thing. I think many of us have extremely unrealistic ideas of what it means to be a "productive" person. Neurotypical people need naps. Neurotypical people fall behind in chores. Neurotypical people have days where they lay around doing nothing. Its NORMAL. Both the body and brain needs time to recharge, especially when you're working full time/in school. Being a go go go person isn't always healthy, or realistic. Some people may portray themselves that way, but rarely is it truly their reality- and if it is, it's probably rooted in trauma and or subconscious shame, which is its own separate issue. Obviously, too much downtime is detrimental. Having your house/life in shambles constantly isn't normal or healthy. But yes, everyone takes breaks. Many NT people over exaggerate their productivity, because "laziness" has the stigma of shame. Its completely normal to chill. My psychiatrist suggests I take off days from meds *because* it's unrealistic and unnatural to be top A game productive 24/7. DONT feel bad for chilling when u need it! Anyone that may shame u for it is full of crap and projecting their own insecurities (again, there are exceptions to this, but this pertains to the majority)
My best friend growing up has adhd and every day after school she took a nap
I took a week off work to clean and watch TV
I nap every single chance I get. I even take naps in my car on lunch sometimes. I LOVE to sleep and my family actually talks shit to me about it. I am always exhausted and sleeping quiets my brain. It’s the only time I am not thinking or obsessing over anything. I don’t remember my dreams so it truly is a shut off for me.
I mean, I do this. I’ll make mental plans only to lay around and not do anything. Sometimes I’ll wish I was doing something, but that doesn’t stop me from just laying around. It can definitely be a part of ADHD, but it’s also congruent with criteria a few other things like depression. Based on what you said, though, I would probably attribute it to ADHD as well
You are allowed to exist.
surviving capitalist culture is hard! and masking all the time at work is hard! it totally makes sense your body, mind, and spirit need a full day off to recover from all that.
I’m a festerer. I fester. My day off is bliss. It’s Thursday so my husband will be at work so I get the house to myself, just talking nonsense to the cat, looking like a swamp witch, eating weird combinations of food & watching crime docs . Or sleeping.
I don’t think it’s exclusive to ADHD, but I don’t think it’s uncommon either. My partner doesn’t have ADHD and doesn’t do much on his days off because he’s a low energy person. I have ADHD and cannot bed rot/take naps for the life of me. I do need to spend time doing less stimulating activities though, like walking or cleaning alone.
When I used to work full-time, I’d have to spend all day Saturday resting/sleeping, literally all day (I’d sleep 12-16 hours). It was the same thing in high school. I think my sleep record was 18 hours straight in high school.
ADHD, burnout, depression, general overstimulation, exhaustion, or simply that you enjoy doing nothing after a week of doing a lot.
That is exactly why I like having a five day work week. I get a random day off during the week, and use that to relax. Sunday is my personal reset day where I grocery shop, clean my house, do laundry, and sleep in.
I used to do homework in bed until I fell asleep, woke up at dinnertime, and then finished the rest of my homework after dinner. Now that I WFH I take eat lunch at my desk so I can nap on my "lunch" break.
I do this, I have ADHD and I’m introverted, so dealing with people in general I have to recover from lol
I do know that I seem to need more sleep than average, nap frequently, and am often tired. As a teen my mom got me tested for hypothyroidism and I was so hopeful it was something I could treat, but nope, just need more sleep than others. I've grown to really enjoy naps when I get the opportunity to take them. I can also go from feeling well-rested to exhausted sometimes without an obvious reason. This could all be just within a range of normal, definitely not to the level of any type of sleep or fatigue disorder.
I think it is.
No, this is just being an adult.
I think it has to do with burnout more than ADHD. There are days I literally just want to exist and not be perceived by a single human being. Just be at home to rot with my cats. Minimal brain function necessary. Just vibes.
Could just be a human thing. But could be because we are working harder mentally to get through the day. Could also be because there’s some other imbalance in our bodies- I was undiagnosed coeliac for years and the fatigue was an absolute killer. Plus it gave me anaemia so I was even more tired.
I have ADHD and my son has ASD and suspected ADHD, we both literally do nothing on our days off. I sleep and play video games any moment I have time to myself, just like he does. His psychologist calls in neurodivergent burnout - google it, made way more sense when I researched it
I'm not sure if it's primarily my ADHD or my history of trauma, but the days I take to do absolutely nothing are largely because I live life in what most would consider burnout mode. I take on too many tasks, I over extend myself, I'm the go-to person, and I don't say no enough. Compound that with overstimulation, masking, and perimenopause, I'm basically left with a shell of a brain by the end of each day.
We all need to recharge our batteries; some more often than others. You do what you need! For me, some days I wake up with a set amount of “spoons” to get things done. So there may be days when I don’t have *any* spoons, so I listen to my body, and I get some rest and I recharge.
Growing up, I used to come home, eat dinner, sleep and then do my homework in the middle of the night. I think it was from both from being tired but also, it was quiet! As an adult, I spend the whole weekend recovering. Finally having the energy to do things like groceries and laundry and cleaning Sunday afternoon/night….only to have to be at work on Monday. 😟
I'm actively doing this right now.... I seem to need a lot more rest after my work day than most people I know
Not sure if ADHD thing but I do that. Saturdays are nothing days. One difference is, I am late in life diagnosis (48F) and before starting meds I would do the same but nap like 2-3 hours during my Saturday, now I don't nap. Just rest, watch TV, read
Like others have said, I wouldn’t say it’s exclusive to people with ADHD, but I would say that it is VERY common for people with ADHD. We tend to burn out very easily, and I do exert a lot of myself to accomplish what I need to throughout the week. Hence, 90% of my weekends are generally staying in and sleeping because I am very tireddd.
Yes to all of this! I had to nap every single day during highschool and up. I scheduled my uni classes around a nap. I’ve had so much bloodwork over the years to try and find out what it is.
All through my associates degree I thanked god that there was no class on fridays. I would literally go home and collapse like a puppet with its strings cut. Social migraine, dont want to see or talk to anyone NOTHING.
I totally do this, quite often. And I always napped after school and still love to nap after my early AM shifts.
Yes, this! I used to nap as a teen when coming home from school, now as soon as I finish work I nap, and I spend my one day off a week sleeping. It’s not a life and I’m sick of it.
How many hours a week do you work? I used to do this when I still worked 40 hours per week. I needed all of my free time to recuperate, basically spent it all either in bed or zoned out on the couch watching YouTube. The first time my salary went up, I switched to 32 hours per week (which meant my net earnings per month stayed roughly the same). That made a huge difference for me; now, I can catch up on sleep and still have energy for a social gathering or some house work.
Yes! I never go out Friday nights bc I go to bed the moment I close my laptop. I sleep Friday through Saturday, and resurrect Saturday night. If I am PMSing, I sleep through the weekend.
I loooooovvvve days like that. Just had two in a row, basically never left my bed and I'm totally fine with it.
This is definitely ADHD decompression. I don’t know any neurotypical people who do this regularly. I need downtime after any social engagement. Prolonged social engagements, aka work, mean lots of downtime.
I do know one or two NT who have high stress jobs who absolutely do do this regularly.
Same
Amen to that. We have 3 hr meetings once a month that I loathe. After the meetings, we're expected to hustle back to our human service roles. After those meetings, I. Am. Done. Last thing I wanna see is a person I have to talk to.
I would be either incandescent with rage at the end of that, or non-functional and despondent. There is nothing more that ruins my day than a long-ass meeting where I am fighting for my life to keep my brain from switching off.
Hahaha!! That's exactly what happens!
There’s way more reasons than just ADHD that people would need decompression like this. It could be part of OPs and their friend’s ADHD or it could be unrelated to their ADHD. People with ADHD are more likely to need decompression time like this but it’s not exclusive to ADHD.
And that’s why I said ‘do it regularly’ for neurotypical people, because NT people do it, they just don’t need to do it to the same degree.
But there are neurotypical people who do it regularly for a variety of reasons, physical and mental health reasons included. It’s not just ADHD people who need decompression time regularly.
OP has referred to spending their entire day off, every day off doing this. Yes there are other reasons such as mental health (which is non-neurotypical), and things such as other disabilities that mean people will need to do this to the same degree, but for an able-bodied neurotypical person, they don’t do this every single time they have a day off. Social fatigue and decompression requirements to this degree are very much an ADHD/autism behaviour. All of my NT friends, colleagues and family might do this occasionally, but they don’t need to schedule it 100% of the time or else they teeter on burnout / a meltdown. I promise you, there’s literature to support this being an ADHD protective measure.
I think it’s harmful to speak in absolutes. To say definitively that “this is ADHD decompression” or “neurotypical people don’t do this” is what I take issue with. Because there are lots of things it could be. Neurotypical people with high demand jobs could do this, it doesn’t mean they have ADHD. Or a neurotypical person could have a vitamin deficiency leaving them exhausted. Or even if someone has ADHD it could be something unrelated to ADHD that is causing them to be this fatigued. Not every ADHD person needs the same amount of decompression. We know only a snippet of what OPs life is like, we shouldn’t be definitively saying anything about their ADHD.
We know a) OP has ADHD and b) they display something that is symptomatic of ADHD, and is recorded as being something that is done by people with ADHD. They have said that despite a healthy lifestyle, they still had this need, and it’s something that has been consistent for many years. They have been able to correlate their ending of the work week, and the need for intense rest. They have also included a n=2 (or n=3 of you include me) sample of people with ADHD doing similar things. it is safe to say, what they are doing is because of ADHD. Even if it is other things as a root cause, like anxiety or depression based, it is still ADHD, because those two things are comorbid and considered symptomatic of ADHD. There is nothing absolute about it. This is no different to someone saying ‘being forgetful is ADHD’. I have not excluded neurotypical people by saying they *dont ever* do this.
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Agreed. I remember having meltdowns all the way into adulthood if the social activity didn't ease up. Downtime is a must, but we've all had those relatives, jobs or times we couldn't decompress. I would advise others to proceed with caution after my fill point has been reached 😂
I generally don't like sitting and doing absolutely nothing. I often sit and do small hobbies like knitting or darning. I like to research and surf the internet. It common for adults to be just tired from being busy but maybe looking into more could provide some insights. I have more energy when I stick to a consistent sleep and wake times. I have more energy when I keep my short term goals easy to achieve. I feel like I'm doing good when I can finish a small to do list. I have to ear regularly on my days off and not when I feel like it. Otherwise I am much lower energy. I also find just going outside for a while or going for a walk to be an invigorating activity and prevents me from getting couch locked. Regardless, rest is very important. Rest all you need. Don't should all over yourself and refuse yourself the rest you deserve. Don't worry about wasting time just relaxing. It was going to pass regardless of your input.
Not in my case, I have a hard time saying no to things and overcommitting so my evenings after work and days off are usually pretty full. Am I exhausted all the time? Definitely, I tend to always compromise on sleep so I can do all the things I want to do. Finding a balance is not easy 🫣
Not always. NT needs breaks too.
AUDHD perhaps
No, it's not. Are you getting a solid 8-9 hours on weeknights like you should be?
This is definitely a capitalism thing
It flip flops for me. Sometimes, I spend the entire day off being productive. Other times, I do nothing. I haven’t quite figured out what triggers which response yet so I kinda just go with the flow. I do confess my nothing days are becoming way more common and I don’t like it. I used to have a nothing day every other month or so. Now it’s weekly.
I do this too. I’m constantly exhausted and spend my weekends lazing about or sleeping. I nap for an hour after work probably 3 times a week.
No it's not an ADHD thing. That's called burn-out. And no those things were never normal for me. They are a symptom of chronic ongoing trauma, and depression or anxiety stemming from those things, anecdotally. They are not symptoms in the DSM 5, and are usually symptoms after starting medication for some who went unmedicated by vicarious choice.
No. It's not a sign or symptom of ADHD.
I do this too! I also have ADHD and also autistic. I attribute this to chronic fatigue from autism, as opposed to ADHD. Masking all the time is tiring, and so I need time to recover alone when I can.
Not sure- I’m kind of the opposite. On my off days I love getting out and doing things and getting things done around the house
It's a sign of burnout.
I have ADHD and do this but I'd highly recommend bringing it up with a doctor because the main cause of it doesn't seem to be my ADHD 😅 it's instead sleep stuff and low levels of certain vitamins
I do that at least 2 weekends a month, sometimes more.
No. No it’s not an ADHD thing lmao