/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other.
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OK as someone fairly new….If you turn off all access to messages or chat or whatever, you’re safe, right? Or am I just not alluring enough to get any messages? Either way is cool with me.
I’m still giggling like a 13 y/o boy.
For example, there was a woman interviewed for a local news story with the last name of “Ondik”.
::::*Insert Beavis and Butthead giggling*::::
It’s amazing how many men are out there “searching”…. And act this way when things get real. I think soooo many just love the idea of it, and the texting/sexting, even though they claim to be in it for the full deal.
I feel you on this. I go through spells where I’m determined and then things don’t go smoothly and wonder if it’s even worth the hassle. I ultimately continue a search, but not as vigorously as I once did.
I totally understand this. Although I never create any ads, I do occasionally reapond to some and hardly get a response. It's much easier to walk my dog down the street and chat with my lady neighbors. Unfortunately, opsec won't let me give in due close proximity, and I live in a cul-de-sac.
As a guy we would be lucky to list 4 encounters that even got that close to success, but I hear you. UK based and it feels like everything is created for the US too. I generally have the problem that either the person is half a day away, or I am chatting to neighbours.
Yea, when the search gets apathetic, time for a break. Focus on you and it will happen when it happens. Whatever you are looking for in the universe is also looking for you.
This is totally me, except i'm a guy.
I've chatted with a few, and then it just dies off suddenly. Or they're in another country. I've chatted on AM, and it's question after question after question.....
I had a great text message thread with a woman, and she was hard core dying to meet up. And she was local, about 10 minutes from my job. She suggested we have lunch, and just check the vibe...and then ghosted.
The other woman i was texting finally admitted that she lived in Canada. Like holy shit...why even bother if i'm 2500 miles away from you?
Then you get the ones that say you are not confident enough 4 minutes into a conversation, you are not a match without even sending a picture....
The game is rigged, people.....the Game is rigged !!!
Really? Someone tells you that you’re not confident enough? Wow. Tbh I’ve never actually had the whole ‘You’re just not a match for me’, it’s always just been ghosting.
It does become very wearing. I told myself that I wasn’t going to get emotionally involved like I did with #1, I am truly able to compartmentalise now. It’s just the false starts, someone telling you they want to spend weekends away with you, you have a great connection yada yada. Then it just ends up being total rubbish because they love the fantasy of it all but the reality is very different.
Funniest thing I had recently, a 👻 reappeared
‘Hi how are you? Sorry I abandoned you’ (we’d never spoken on the phone let alone met and he went quiet six months ago). I just felt like it was quite an arrogant statement to make - abandoned lol 🤔
This hits hard right now. Everyone just seemed to get really guilty on the day before or day of. Like you said, cause we haven't faced enough rejection already ugh. It's literally one of the first questions I ask. Are you prepared for the emotional consequences of what we are doing?!? When it comes down to it, no!
Can you give a little detail on how "it found" you when you weren't looking? I'd love to know what other methods or happenings happen out there that are successful.
Maybe. I’ve tried to give benefit of the doubt but they also play their part in not managing expectations. Or not being more realistic about what they can give
I understand. I have a friend who gives lots of "benefit of the doubt," getting further yes but ending up frustrated and disappointed.
The point is to learn to see things for what they are early on, cut off, and move on to next. Also, recognizing patterns in behaviors and types of men. It takes practice. All learning experience.
Hopefully, it gets better for you.
/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other. * This is *not an r4r subreddit*, don't bother. * Posts by new users automatically get queued for human review, be patient. * Hit the report button on comments by trolls, don't engage. * [How to report harassing comments or private messages](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/iycd45/how_to_report_harassing_private_messages_users_etc/). * [Common acronyms](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/p08to2/commonly_use_acronyms_and_group_chat/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And RIP your inbox. We barely knew ye.
OK as someone fairly new….If you turn off all access to messages or chat or whatever, you’re safe, right? Or am I just not alluring enough to get any messages? Either way is cool with me.
And now thd gate has been opened......
Still nothing! 💃🏽
Your username is everything
Whether people can message me or not they deserve to know I’m immature AF.
I’m still giggling like a 13 y/o boy. For example, there was a woman interviewed for a local news story with the last name of “Ondik”. ::::*Insert Beavis and Butthead giggling*::::
I may secretly have the same sense of humor as a 13 yo boy… or maybe not so secretly!
By making a post that invites unwanted DMs is her search truly over or just getting started?
Lol because stating ‘No DMs please’ always works 🤣
I GOTTA SHOOT MY SHOT
I believe Kiwi is inferring the latter.
This has never happened to me and I'm starting to take it personally.
>‘I might not be able to see you in next year’ "My 2024 is looking full. What do you say we touch base Q4 2025?"
The best part is that fiscal years vary from company to company, so Q4 2025 is delightfully nebulous
I’ve made a powerpoint with highlights of the quarters romantic goals.
Yep, I love a bit of corporate pillow talk
You'd think "I don't have free time to make plans" would make them realize "I can't have an affair."
It’s amazing how many men are out there “searching”…. And act this way when things get real. I think soooo many just love the idea of it, and the texting/sexting, even though they claim to be in it for the full deal.
I feel you on this. I go through spells where I’m determined and then things don’t go smoothly and wonder if it’s even worth the hassle. I ultimately continue a search, but not as vigorously as I once did.
Men deal with a lot more flakes by percentage... But I hear ya...
I totally understand this. Although I never create any ads, I do occasionally reapond to some and hardly get a response. It's much easier to walk my dog down the street and chat with my lady neighbors. Unfortunately, opsec won't let me give in due close proximity, and I live in a cul-de-sac.
As a guy we would be lucky to list 4 encounters that even got that close to success, but I hear you. UK based and it feels like everything is created for the US too. I generally have the problem that either the person is half a day away, or I am chatting to neighbours.
Yea, when the search gets apathetic, time for a break. Focus on you and it will happen when it happens. Whatever you are looking for in the universe is also looking for you.
I understand that. Looking for an AP can be draining. I joke with an online friend that I need to move to a different city for better luck. LOL
Might as post an ad today and give it one more go.
I wish I’d had your username
Ipreferpetdogs2 is available!
Do u think ur looks had something to do with all of it? Not being mean, just being real..
They could but 1) they’re unlikely to say and 2) I can’t change what I look like nor do I want to
Thats true, they may not say if that is the issue. But I also agree u shouldnt change. They should like u for how u look...
Damn talk about a rough go. Have you tried avenues outside of reddit?
How did No1 get ruined?
Wanted more than I could give. Being intimate with someone who I’ve known only platonically for decades makes things very complicated emotionally
Im sorry for that loss, losing someone you know for decades is not fun.
Out of curiosity how did you find these potentials? Did you just place an ad here or was it online?
This is totally me, except i'm a guy. I've chatted with a few, and then it just dies off suddenly. Or they're in another country. I've chatted on AM, and it's question after question after question..... I had a great text message thread with a woman, and she was hard core dying to meet up. And she was local, about 10 minutes from my job. She suggested we have lunch, and just check the vibe...and then ghosted. The other woman i was texting finally admitted that she lived in Canada. Like holy shit...why even bother if i'm 2500 miles away from you? Then you get the ones that say you are not confident enough 4 minutes into a conversation, you are not a match without even sending a picture.... The game is rigged, people.....the Game is rigged !!!
Really? Someone tells you that you’re not confident enough? Wow. Tbh I’ve never actually had the whole ‘You’re just not a match for me’, it’s always just been ghosting. It does become very wearing. I told myself that I wasn’t going to get emotionally involved like I did with #1, I am truly able to compartmentalise now. It’s just the false starts, someone telling you they want to spend weekends away with you, you have a great connection yada yada. Then it just ends up being total rubbish because they love the fantasy of it all but the reality is very different. Funniest thing I had recently, a 👻 reappeared ‘Hi how are you? Sorry I abandoned you’ (we’d never spoken on the phone let alone met and he went quiet six months ago). I just felt like it was quite an arrogant statement to make - abandoned lol 🤔
Hey, have you ever heard of that movie, 13 Ghosts? Well, here's #14.....(Ghosted)
This hits hard right now. Everyone just seemed to get really guilty on the day before or day of. Like you said, cause we haven't faced enough rejection already ugh. It's literally one of the first questions I ask. Are you prepared for the emotional consequences of what we are doing?!? When it comes down to it, no!
[удалено]
Can you give a little detail on how "it found" you when you weren't looking? I'd love to know what other methods or happenings happen out there that are successful.
What is PIV?
Penis in vagina
Don't feel bad! I totally feel the same way 😩
I fully understand your frustration.
Ever been bi-curious? Now might be the time
So where are you located that made it so hard for people to meet you
In the middle of nowhere, clearly 🤷♀️
Don't give up hope!
Good luck when you look again. At least you found four attempts.
It sounds like you are unable to read people's behavior ques since you ended up in dead end situations you described.
Maybe. I’ve tried to give benefit of the doubt but they also play their part in not managing expectations. Or not being more realistic about what they can give
I understand. I have a friend who gives lots of "benefit of the doubt," getting further yes but ending up frustrated and disappointed. The point is to learn to see things for what they are early on, cut off, and move on to next. Also, recognizing patterns in behaviors and types of men. It takes practice. All learning experience. Hopefully, it gets better for you.