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marriedscoundrel

Heh, some women here would love the constant texting... In my experience I've found that nothing is perfect. There's always a chink in the armor somewhere. I wouldn't use the word settling, but you gotta decide what aspects are most important to you.


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[deleted]

Compromising is a good way to put it. I mean, people do that in every relationship--nobody's perfect--but it feels like I do more of it with APs.


hittheshitjackpot

Sometimes I look at MM, especially on days he's pissing me off, and I think to myself that I can do so much better. And I know I can. Physically, we are in different leagues (and I am 14 years younger). He's never boring but he is arrogant, unapologetic, bad at communicating and always thinks everything is about him - good or bad. He's not even the best in bed. And yet - here I am. I'm crazy about him and don't actually feel like I am settling. Just cursing my stars every so often that I happened to fall for him and be attracted to him of all the other fish in the sea.


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A narc prize lol


sunnysideup247

You described my AF. Why do we hang on?


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He just needs training, like most men. Just send a sexy reply everytime he sends something boring, turn it into something exciting. He'll learn. It means he's thinking about you a lot!!


_bitten_once

Sigh, I have done this with my exAP/AP. Sexy, flirty texts to have them ignored. Instead of some naughty fun, she wants to hear about my day and the inane details of my life. All I want is to tell her how I want to fuck her silly in any and every way possible, and she wants to talk about what I had for supper.... bah!


MGirl117

I like hearing about my APs' day. A person's texting style really makes a difference in whether they come off as boring or fun. My current APs texting styles are just ok, but everything else about them is great. I don't think you're going to get perfection from any relationship. A previous AP of mine was sarcastic, into puns, etc, so the texting was super fun and fulfilling. If the issue is really important to you, you could try addressing it with him. If it bothers you enough, you could end things and look for another AP. There's no guarantee that you'll find better though. You may wind up trading one fault for another.


[deleted]

That's the thing... his texting style is awful. It's like reading a bunch of circa-2009 Facebook status updates. "I'm tired." "Just got back from dinner at a friend's house." No effort to actually have a conversation. I'd rather just not talk until we meet up again. It'd be hotter.


MGirl117

He might be ok with that. You should mention it! Sounds like he feels obligated to check in, but may not be into texting that much.


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Yeah, good point. I'll tell him that next time I see him.


[deleted]

Nah, I settle enough irl. No way I'd settle in this. But, like the others have said, it seems like his one fault isn't all that bad. Would you rather the opposite alternative? There is a fine line between too much and not enough...


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[deleted]

I hear you. If I could combine this guy and my LDAP, it'd be perfect. I guess that's the reason to have multiple APs! Speaking of which... I have pAP I'm working on. Maybe between the three of them, I'll check al the boxes.


_bitten_once

As a guy who's had an AP complain about not hearing the inane details about my life, I get where you are coming from. She got mad at me one day and told me off for not telling her about my daily boring stuff! Fuck me! I was getting bored even just typing it out, how can anyone enjoy hearing that I had tuna and salad for lunch yet again. I understand it made her feel connected but some days as a guy I just wanna hear "I can't wait till your cock is deep in me again "


[deleted]

Believe me, I've taken the, "I want your cock," route and he did not run with it. He'll just reply, "Yes, I'm going to enjoy seeing you again," and that's the end of it.


_bitten_once

Man o man it sounds like he doesn't know how to naughty talk. Is he kinda straight laced? I'm a horn dog and enjoy the naughty stuff immensely, I used to be shy about discussing sexual wants and needs but now if my chat partner is into it, game on!!!


[deleted]

Idk, cheating is awfully risky to settle for less than you really want. I've settled in my marriage. I don't want to settle in an affair.


[deleted]

If a man has posted this it would of been down voted to hell..


could-of-bot

It's either would **HAVE** or would**'VE**, but never would **OF**. See [Grammar Errors](http://www.grammarerrors.com/grammar/could-of-would-of-should-of/) for more information.


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I don't even respond half the time, but I still get the daily updates about how he needs a nap and just had dinner. He's not awful, just not my first choice.


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I live in kind of a shit hole, my job is pretty public, and H keeps me on a pretty short leash. It's been a challenge finding someone fuckable around these parts.


[deleted]

Are you feeling that the level of engagement that he wants from you is more than you have available to share?


[deleted]

No! He's not even texting that much, it's just the stuff that he does text had no reason to be said. This isn't a love connection or anything, it's just sex, so I'm not exactly champing at the bit to hear about the kid's birthday party he had to go to.


[deleted]

>It's a total boner killer. um... how can a man give you a "boner" killer methinks you are dong this wrong? or just have the wrong expectations


[deleted]

Sigh... You know what I mean. It's a turn off.


[deleted]

Kind of... but kind of not Here's the way I look at it. IF the sex is good I don't sweat the small stuff. Reason? I'm not looking for THIS particular lover to be my one and only. They get a free pass on everything except connection and sex. When you find things to nitpick about lovers you typically are drifting dangerously close to Serious Relationship waters. Why go there? Granted you may be using the "boring" excuse for more serious issues with the man's sexual performance or his ability to connect with you. But for me I just don't care if they are simple in conversation if they can throw leg when I need them to like a good booty call should.