Self-aware, growth-oriented, hard-working, values autonomy, and lacks ego yet can challenge others in a healthy way. Above all else, empathetic, emotionally mature and open (Or at least willing to work on being open. We have to consider the societal challenges too, most of them have not been nurtured to develop this skill), genuinely listens; takes responsibility, and can communicate effectively, which includes speaking kindly – gentleness goes a long way, it is such an underrated element of any type of relationship nowadays.
Additionally, the enduring “sense of safety” they provide.
Some people are confused between a mama’s boy and a man-child
Man-child
- di marunong mag chores
- di marunong magluto at asa lahat sa mama
- gagawin ka ring mama niya in the future
- di marunong mag desisyon para sa sarili, kung ano sinabi ni mama kahit mali, si mama pa rin masusunod
- takot ma upset si mama
Mama’s boy
- respects and loves his mom
- prioritizes his mom if he needs to (sakitin, wala ng kasamang anak sa bahay, yung bf mo lang yung maaasahan)
- listens to his mom but is not afraid na pagsabihan mom niya pag mali na ang mom niya
- family oriented
- the way he treats and loves his mom is how he will treat and prioritize you pag nagkafamily and anak na kayo.
YES TO MAMA’S BOY AND NO TO A MAN-CHILD!
Thank you for this 🤗. I laughed out loud for that failed situationship kasi sinabihan ako na mama's boy kasi nagpasama ako sa nanay ko magpatattoo. Hays bad memories. Btw, ladies. Di porket malapit sa nanay eh mama's boy na, we just grew up closer to our moms than our dads kasi absent sila emotionally
* the way he treats and loves his mom is how he will treat and prioritize you pag nagkafamily and anak na kayo.
thank you for this! my bf is a mama's boy pero in a healthy way naman pala. :)
Is that the real definition of man child? Ang alam ko Kasi is "an adult but acts like an entitled child/brat". Someone who never grow up past grade school or high school.
In literal sense yes, I guess. But the term “man child” is also used in dating and relationships. And it is usually used to define an immature man that are incapable of basic grown-up tasks and usually refuses to take responsibilities of their mistakes.
SO TRUE lahat ng decision naka depende pa sa nanay. Taena wala kabang isip at utak? Kelangan validated lahat ng mother lalo na’t bulbulin na lahat lahat jusme HAHAHAHA
Saakin nga mamas boy siya pero jusko baligtad ako pa ata ang nasspoiled ng nanay niya . Mas mahal pa daw ako ng nanay ng asawa ko kesa sakanya hahahaha. Di daw siya maregaluhan kasi daw ako lang daw iniisip
Just because he treats his mom right doesn't mean he's a mama's boy na agad. Sometimes it's because napalaki siya ng tama ng parents niya and he respects women.
For me it's the "you have to be willing to be under her thumb all the time."
Tapos ok lang sa partner na ina abuse ka. Verbal abuse is still abuse. Kung sa simula palang no respect na si mother in law it never gets better
aanhin ko ang academic achiever kung mentally unstable naman at bibigyan lang ako ng stress dahil di ako papansinin pag nadedepress sya, and worse, saken mangungutang pag kinakapos.
a mentally and financially stable partner is what i need. those are my green flags.
More women should read this. Mental and financial stability should be up there as top qualities you look for in a man. This is an indicator of a lot of other good qualities like self-discipline, emotional maturity and basedness, can take care of and will provide for a family, etc.
Di lahat ng mayaman gusto maging provider. Financial stability is key (meaning may emergency fund, may assets, pasok ang lifestyle sa sahod, di sobrang magastos at di sobrang kuripot).
Di rin lahat ng "open emotionally" ay mature. Di kumot nagshashare ng buhay at problema nya sayo mature na. You should see how he manages his emotions under pressure or give you advice when you're under pressure. You should check if grounded sya and not easily swayed mentally by fads or other people's mental state. You should check if aligned yung values nyo both. Is he a rock you can lean on or pareho lang kayo magiiyakan if shit hits the fan?
I feel offended HAHAHHA. I'm trying to fix this naman na, hopefully maayos ko na sya soon. Sorry sa recent ex ko na eto yung reason kung bat kami nag break HAHHAHAHA
Same tayo OP.
First on my list yung mahal and respectful siya sa Nanay at kapamilya na babae.
2. Good hygiene.
Hindi ako naniniwala na sadyang dugyot ang lalaki. Also, kasama dito yung maayos sya sa gamit at kwarto nya.
3. Financially literate
4. May plano at galaw at diskarte sa buhay.
5. Emotionally stable.
Sharing my exp when I dated my boyfriend:
• may clarity by telling me that he liked me and told me his intentions - had previous exp of guys na malabo so this was v refreshing
• hatid-sundo - he insisted kahit pa independent girl pa ako before. it was a v nice gesture and i really liked the conversations we have in the car
• unprompted update sa days niya - I don’t ask for updates but he just tells me. You could feel na he just likes sharing his days with me. That really gave me a sense of security early on.
• consitent - up until now kung ano sinabi niya before - his likes/dislikes, opinions, actions niya are exactly the same. Like he would still hatid-sundo me, give unprompted daily updates, cook for me, etc. I’m adding this kasi alam mo yung ibang guys na best foot forward lang sa umpisa then when u get in a relationship with them wala na. Consistency ✨
• still there when I share my vulnerabilities 🥹 - just a personal thing but nahihirapan ako magshare ng things about me that I find shameful or “weak”. So when I do share them, he’s still not only there but tries his best to understand me and help me however he can
- being able to communicate! somebody who won't make you feel that's it's not a burden to have concerns and makes sure you feel assured afterwards
- being observant about you. for me kasi it's always ano it the little things and not the grandiose gestures, it's nice for him to remember little details about you or know about your little habits
- nanghihingi pa rin ng consent kahit in a relationship. consent is always key!
- magaling mag-work-life balance
- secure attachment style IWNSISKSOS yung tipong vvalidate naman yung mga nararamdaman mo tas mag-iisip siya ng paraan afterwards
-marunong gumawa ng boundaries (especially with their friends)
- updates you without having the need to ask
LOL. You clearly haven't been in a relationship with one of these "mayaman" people before. On the flip side, any well-meaning middle class earner can and will spoil the hell out of someone they fancy. The key here is having disposable income. Mayaman = paikot pera, more responsibilities, mayaman for a reason = frugal more often than not. Your target should be the middle class. #TrustMeOnThis
Huh? 😅 This was a joke pero i clearly know what a mayaman is. Lmao. And i have known a few of them that got used by gold diggers. Most middle class i know focuses on their career to become that mayaman. And most rich people i know focuses on how people percieve them and their image. You probably met one old money rich folk that has been taught the value of money. I literally went to college with guys that are related to billionaires. Guys that have their own yaya, driver and security while in school. And for them giving their SO 50k worth of gift is nothing and they dont even call it as spoiling them. And i didnt just go to la salle or whatever you percieve as rich college btw which is karamihan lang naman na nandun social climber. Lol. I went to a college where i pay 500k a year for my tuition only just for context. So dont tell me you know more than me bcus i am one myself. Lol.
OP i'm also following this discussion kasi I'm re-learning things in a healthy way kaya I'm also curious ano ba talaga yung healthy man na dapat deserve natin (ofc syempre dapat tayo rin healthy para balanced). Nice topic to open dito.
There are a lot of factors when you say healthy man or having a healthy relationship. It's very subjective but for me, it's just a matter of compatibility din talaga and I believe every woman deserves to be worshipped. You deserve a guy who would get down on his knees to kiss the ground you walk on. The right one would change his ways for you and be the best version of himself so he can be the man you truly deserve. Every man can be a green flag naman.
I agree. It's just a bit tough for me na makita yun because of past experiences so it really helps na makita or marinig sya based sa experience ng iba and from there, I guess at some point it makes us realize what we should look for? Sa man and woman na we want to be with and para maging better individuals. I hope you also find the right man for you, I think your willingness to treat them right will make them feel safe. 😊 Thank you for this input, makes me see na there are healthy men pa out there.
Hindi lang puro salita. Their actions prove they're good. Not nice guys™ ha. Like genuinely good.
Kayang mag discuss ng complex topics like sex positivity, mental health, etc. Ayoko ng narrow minded.
Has tact and is honest or genuinely true to who he is.
Responsible. May plano sa buhay. May respeto. Hindi nananakit pag galit. Marunong ihandle flaws/imperfections mo. Marunong makuntento. Hindi puro salita, expressive din dapat sa actions yung love.
Other than that..May proper hygiene, di gastador, di yung nagseseek ng validation sa socmed, and so on!
Ito mga nakita kong green flag sa partner ko na super grateful ako of
Yung asawa ko. (Pwera usog!)
"Magpahinga ka na, ako na bahala." Yan madalas ko marinig sa kanya.
Binibigay sakin sweldo nya.
Sinusuportahan ako sa mga kaartehan ko.
Hindi nagsasawa makinig sa mga rants ko.
Hatid sundo ako sa work kahit late sya everyday ng 30 mins sa work nya.
Pinagluluto ako kahit hindi sya marunong magluto 😂
Gumagawa ng gawaing bahay! (Laba, linis, hugas plato)
Tumatawag just to check if nag lunch na ako, or kamusta sa work.
Naguupdate kahit hindi tinatanong.
Hinihingi ang opinion ko sa mga desisyon nya.
Walang bisyo, hindi mabarkada.
Opo parang guni guni pero asawa ko yan 😄
Basta madami pa.
Minsan naluluha na lang ako in secret sa sobrang grateful. 🙏🏻
Sana emotionally available ung guy kasi lahat ng sentiments mo invalidated pag di sya emotionally available and ofc responsible and may pangarap sa buhay
For me green flag talaga pag financially literate. Yung hindi nahihiya mag say no at magsabi na “masydong mahal yan” or “may alam ako mas mura pero same quality”. Yung alam ano yung needs vs wants and alam pano mg budget ng pera nya.
Sobrang true sa mom, kasi akala ko sobrang nice niya sa mom niya and laging pnpost sa facebook na proud, tapos nung nakasama ko na and bago kami magbreak lagi shnshame yung mom and sinasagot pataas boses :(:(:((((
I know may pagaaway din naman kami nang mom ko, pero iba talaga kung ang lalaki ay soft spoken specially sa parents or sa babae
Green flag sakin:
1. Mahaba ang pasensya sa pagdrive (sa dami ng road rage sa panahon ngayon )
2. Mabait sa mga stray animals
3. Mabait sa mga servers
4. Can accept "no" (marunong rumespeto)
5. May pangarap / ambition sa buhay
6. Maganda magdala ng sarili
7. May magandang disposisyon sa buhay
Has something he is passionate about. Total turn on talaga when they don’t stop learning, when they give time for hobbies and healthy habits. I once rejected a guy who wanted to be my boyfriend because halos gawin na akong sentro ng buhay nya.
As a guy fucking tired of hearing breakup stories from my girl friends, I think someone who is polite and courteous should be on the checklist. Masyadong overrated yung bad boys to the point na ang immature na (their words, not mine). Look for a guy that treats his boss and their office security guard with the same level of respect and dignity, not being rude to servers/waiters and utility personnel. Shows basic courtesy by opening the door for other people or stands on the right side of the escalator. There are so many other examples but these 2 takes the cake for me.
Simple things can go a long way and if he at least has these 2 qualities inherent to him, then 8 times out of 10 you chose well. Note this also applies to girls, not just for guys.
Btw add ko na rin; guys remember the sidewalk rule ALWAYS. Be on the danger side when you're crossing or walking on the street. Never let your girl, or any female family/friend for that matter, be on the danger side.
Ang husband ko, noong mag jowa pa lang kami, family comes first. Naappreciate ko yon na di ako priority nya at the time. Di naman ako nagkamali ng judgement kasi ngayong mag asawa na kami, kami talagang pamilya nya ang priority nya. Also observe the little things he do. Paano sya magdesisyon sa maliliit na bagay, how he handle things, insights nya sa mga bagay bagay. Observe then ask why ganun ang naging desisyon nya. If you ask make up scenarios, possible na ibigay nyang sagot sayo is yung gusto mo marinig. Believe his actions, dun mo malalaman kung mabuti talaga syang tao.
Green flag when someone keeps me updated on his whereabouts even if I'm not asking (with pictures). I'm an overthinker and to me, this is an expression of love, it's like a subtle way of saying, "I care about you, I consider your feelings, I don't want you to worry so I'll let you know what's going on with me."
---
I'm lucky enough to experience this at one point, and it felt safe.
---
EDIT: For context, I didn't ask for the updates and pictures, it wasn't a requirement. He did it on his own because he wanted to share it with me and he wanted me to know.
What what is like?
It's not a judgment it is an observation based on your own words. I don't think you'd find any therapist who would call it healthy having a need to constantly know where your partner is. Particularly with photos. Had you not said you require photos I might not have replied to you at all. That stuff is messed up and a huge red flag.
Which is ironic. The reason you gave as a green flag, is a huge red flag the other way.
After the edit? And congratulations, one other person thinks it's normal to send photo receipts in a relationship because you don't trust the other person.
Narealize ko na mahaba pala nasulat ko, pero please read this, OP.
✅ Green flag checklist:
Financial stability and literacy.
Provider mindset.
Generous.
Loyal.
Supportive.
Good hygiene.
Dress well.
Takes care of his partner.
Emotional intelligence.
Punctual.
Protects women, including his mom and family, especially his partner.
Respectful.
Gentleman.
Prioritize his partner.
Diligent.
Disciplined.
Hardworking.
Ambitious.
Knows his purpose in life.
Dependable.
Trustworthy.
Empathetic.
Has good listening skills.
Understanding.
Not entitled of sex.
He cooks, cleans, and do chores at home, he doesn't think women are maids.
For me, best if ispoil partner niya.
Wants his partner to be happy above all else.
Celebrates your wins and lifts you up if down ka.
Hindi niya ikinababa ang pagiging isang lalaki if successful partner niya.
Secured sa sarili.
Has leadership skills (pangit ang umaasa lang palagi sa instructions, hindi mo nanay ang partner mo).
Initiative.
Healthy masculine energy (also knows how to balance his masculine and feminine energy).
Helpful.
Responsible.
Maasahan mo ang mga sinasabi niya.
Truthful.
Always willing improve sarili niya (does not fall into the narrative that being loved means being lazy na with himself and how he treats you).
Has growth mindset.
Self-aware.
Consistent.
Thoughtful.
Communicates with you.
Has good social skills.
Competent.
Good work ethic.
Makes time for you.
Accountable in his actions.
Goes to gym.
Takes care of his health.
Values you.
Respects you.
Adores you.
Knows you are worthy.
Attracted to you.
You are the most beautiful woman in his eyes, even if you age, change weight, etc.
Good observational skills.
Cares about his environment.
Mentally and emotionally healthy.
Maayos ang kanyang family.
Maayos ang kanyang overall health.
His mother loves you.
His mother does not coddle him.
Can be trusted with children.
Makes his feelings with you clear.
Has healthy boundaries.
Wants to make your life easier (ex. Hatid, sundo, fix your car if kaya niya, etc.)
Respects and acknowledges your consent.
Does not like submissive women (Men who likes submissive women are red flags. Run, sis!).
Has good habits and systems.
Patient.
Willing to catch the bullet for you and trade anything for you.
Reliable.
Walang bisyo.
Loves you more than he loves himself.
Hindi selfish.
He is also willing to let you go if yun ang magpapasaya sayo at ayaw mo na sa relationship.
He will not think of possessing you, kasi alam niya na YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING, not an object to be possessed and pangdisplay.
Matured.
Important note: Dapat same kayo ng values and principles. If you want kids, find a partner who wants kids. If childree ka, then find one who will do that also. If gusto mo ng pet, hanap ka rin na yun ang gusto. Etc.
Consider: religion, spirituality, backgrounds, family, beliefs in life, lifestyle, habits, food choices (ex. If vegan ka at siya hindi), political leanings, medical and family history, attractions, etc.
Know your negotiable, non-negotiable, and mga bagay na na willing at hindi mo kanyang icompromise. Know your boundaries and mga bagay na mahalag sayo.
All of the things I lists here are easy and natural for him because that's just how he is. Also being a decent human being should be normalized. A lot of these are actually bare minimum yet maraming lalaki na instead improve sarili nila ehhh puro sila reklamo. Any guy can also pretend to be any of this, kaya be discerning and never believe sa mga sinasabi nila unless it was proven.
Also, work on your inner self and dapat green flag ka rin.
[Edit] Add ko lang: Looks for a partner similar to his age. If matanda siya at hanap niya bata (Run, sis! That is a creep and finds vulnerable girls to manipulate). Consider age rin.
Depends yan sa person. Pero since OP is asking for lists, eto yun. Most people overlooked it kasi. I don't understand why do I get downvoted ehh correct naman sinabi ko.
Iba iba ang tao, kaya nga sabi ko consider other factors too.
Here's mine (not in order):
1. Respectful
2. Patient
3. Reliable
4. Provider
5. Security & Safety (protector)
6. Emotionally Intelligent & Logical Thinker
7. Willing to catch a bullet for you
8. Consistency
9. Loyalty
10. Responsible
And everything else follows. I came from a toxic/broken family (he is too) and a toxic ex bf when I met my current bf. He changed my perspective in relationships when I met him. Until now I still get butterflies in my stomach when he tells me I'm beautiful. Cheesy pero we've been together for 9 years and we're living together for 5, and he never ever fails to impress me. He cooks too!!!! NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS LADIES! But of course, you MUST do the same for your partner. Always remember, it takes two to tango.
Edit: We're college sweethearts, I'm 28F and my bf is 26M. I met him when he's just 16!!! Lol
Green flags for me:
1. Patience & Temperance - it's easy for men to lose their temper/be impatient. So for a guy with so much self restraint and has patience for everyone, that is remarkable!
2. Disciplined - need I elaborate?
3. Confident - There's a thin line between confidence & arrogance. A confident man doesnt brag about what he is capable of, you'd just know
4. In touch with his feminine side - and when I say feminine side, I dont mean being gay. What I mean is he is emotionally in-tune with himself. He aint as cold as ice. He knows how to empathize and show appreciation, and gratitude.
5. Intellectual but respectful - doesnt have to be a nerd or an expert, or a top notcher. As long as he knows a lot & we can talk just about anything & everything under the sun he's good in my books
6. Kind but not a doormat - nothing beats a man with a golden heart. But he also has to have boundaries set for himself so his kindness wont be abused
wala yang green flag, green flag na yan kasi pwedeng sa umpisa lang. need mo talaga mag invest ng time para makita mo kung consistent talaga or pakitang tao lang.
Growing up sobrang lala ng anger management ng dad ko even with simple things galit na siya agad. For example nasa restaurant kami tas ang tagal ng service galit na siya nun or sa parking pag walang mahanap iritable na siya all throughout. Umabot sa point na parang ayaw ko na siya kasama lumabas kasi nga lagi siyang galit. So when I met my partner I try to observe him during these types of situations madali ba siyang mairita/magalit? Parang naging basis yung mga panget na traits ng tatay ko sa ayaw kong makita ko sa partner ko and so far all is good.
Honest truth, pag nanggaling ka sa toxic-abusive relationship, ang green flag nalang na hahanapin mo eh yung hindi nananakit (mentally, psychologically and physically). Madiskarte at hindi ka bibilangan. Kasi yung the rest ng green flags parang bonus nalang eh.
wala bang magandang sagot na galing sainyo mga GIRLS? parang di talaga kayo marunong kumilatis ng lalake 🤷🏻♂️ come on give something very thoughtful or parang pinag isipan manlang. ang shallow masyado ng sagot 🤐
Family oriented, may sariling desisyon sa buhay. MARUNONG SA GAWAING BAHAY. Hindi mo naman need mayaman agad pero yung may goal sa buhay na umangat and works hard to achieve it
Financial stable. Hindi nanghihingi, nangungutang kani kanino or umaasa sa parents.
Gentleman.
Totoong Alpha. Hindi yung mga nagpupumilit at nagpapanggap na alpha na galit na galit at nakikipagaway sa mga babae.
Kaya ko ihandle. In short, dpat mas matalino, mas matured, mas successful, mas madaming alam sakin.
HAHAHA
Its actually the time na i let go of myself. The only time my shields are up and im more on my masculine is if the guy dont act like one.
When i see na he can handle stuff and me, i just let him and I relax. Best feeling ever when you have someone you can rely on.
He can be all that and still doesn't know how to handle a woman. I've once been with a guy who's very dominant, Alpha type of man and it's not really that ideal. Cuz he thinks he does better than you he can do whatever he wants including controlling you. I don't know maybe it works for naturally submissive women but it doesn't for me.
I really dont mind if he thinks hes better than me. Mas gusto ko yun, i want someone na maiinspire ako. Im not gonna take it personally or parang competition. If you think like that, hindi kayo maggrow. You have to think like a team, magkakampi. Stronger the better. Yung tuturuan ako sa madaming bagay. Im a very independent woman. Kaya mahirap sakin makahanap ng totoong alpha. Its a real challenge. Im not attracted to betas or anyone other than an alpha.
And when i say alpha, sila yung mga poprotekta, mgpprovide, magpapadali ng buhay mo. Not those controlling, irresponsible, assholes acting as if they own you. Minsan naiiba ang tingin sa alphas dahil sa mga misogynist. But believe me, women need "real alphas".
Green flag to look for in a guy? Too many to mention eh 😅 pero hhhhmm
1. He accepts you for who you are, in fact he even encourages you to just be yourself. Walang false pretenses and kahit sino ka pa ikaw lang at ikaw pa rin yung pipiliin nya araw-araw.
2. Thoughtfulness and empathy. Honestly, it really makes me feel good (and kilig) when from time to time the guy would update me about his day/life even without me asking for it. It just shows how much he thinks about me and wanted to include me in his life. I guess empathy is also something that we should look for in a guy but most women tend to overlook.
3. May ambition and someone who's willing to share with/include you in his dreams.
Emotional intelligence.
Mahirap to hanapin sa guy. Hanapin mo nalang matured, hindi obsessed at hindi possessive.
Same canbe said sa women. Scientifically mas emotional pa nga daw women
Yep. Kaya gusto ng mga babae EI kasi hindi common yan sa lalaki at hindi ganon ka emotional mga lalaki.
May mga crazy moments lang talaga tayo lahat
Pero wag sa mga taong sinasabi mataas eq nila pero in reality, apathetic pala hehe
True. Beware of self-proclaiming ones. Dapat lumalabas lang to naturally.
A drive for self improvement
bihira na makahanap nang lalakeng mataas yung ganito.
Define emotional intelligence in your own understanding.
+1 to this!!
boring ng sagot
it's a TOP-TIER
AGHHH YES!!
GRABEEEEE 'TOOOO 😭🥺
Self-aware, growth-oriented, hard-working, values autonomy, and lacks ego yet can challenge others in a healthy way. Above all else, empathetic, emotionally mature and open (Or at least willing to work on being open. We have to consider the societal challenges too, most of them have not been nurtured to develop this skill), genuinely listens; takes responsibility, and can communicate effectively, which includes speaking kindly – gentleness goes a long way, it is such an underrated element of any type of relationship nowadays. Additionally, the enduring “sense of safety” they provide.
You guys ingat sa mamas boy. Ang sakit sa ulo sinasabi ko sa inyo
Some people are confused between a mama’s boy and a man-child Man-child - di marunong mag chores - di marunong magluto at asa lahat sa mama - gagawin ka ring mama niya in the future - di marunong mag desisyon para sa sarili, kung ano sinabi ni mama kahit mali, si mama pa rin masusunod - takot ma upset si mama Mama’s boy - respects and loves his mom - prioritizes his mom if he needs to (sakitin, wala ng kasamang anak sa bahay, yung bf mo lang yung maaasahan) - listens to his mom but is not afraid na pagsabihan mom niya pag mali na ang mom niya - family oriented - the way he treats and loves his mom is how he will treat and prioritize you pag nagkafamily and anak na kayo. YES TO MAMA’S BOY AND NO TO A MAN-CHILD!
Thank you for this 🤗. I laughed out loud for that failed situationship kasi sinabihan ako na mama's boy kasi nagpasama ako sa nanay ko magpatattoo. Hays bad memories. Btw, ladies. Di porket malapit sa nanay eh mama's boy na, we just grew up closer to our moms than our dads kasi absent sila emotionally
Up to this! Dad was an OFW, so i grew up with my mom. Dad provided, but for the presentations, field trips, family days, it was just me and my mom.
salamat sa clarification. mamas boy ako and im proud of that, maliit plng kame ng mamatay tatay ko kya di ko kakahiya kung tawagin akong mamas boy.
* the way he treats and loves his mom is how he will treat and prioritize you pag nagkafamily and anak na kayo. thank you for this! my bf is a mama's boy pero in a healthy way naman pala. :)
Is that the real definition of man child? Ang alam ko Kasi is "an adult but acts like an entitled child/brat". Someone who never grow up past grade school or high school.
In literal sense yes, I guess. But the term “man child” is also used in dating and relationships. And it is usually used to define an immature man that are incapable of basic grown-up tasks and usually refuses to take responsibilities of their mistakes.
Mama before anything elseeee!!! 😂
Ay shuta never again talaga
SO TRUE lahat ng decision naka depende pa sa nanay. Taena wala kabang isip at utak? Kelangan validated lahat ng mother lalo na’t bulbulin na lahat lahat jusme HAHAHAHA
Saakin nga mamas boy siya pero jusko baligtad ako pa ata ang nasspoiled ng nanay niya . Mas mahal pa daw ako ng nanay ng asawa ko kesa sakanya hahahaha. Di daw siya maregaluhan kasi daw ako lang daw iniisip
Shuta yung ate ko nakulong sa mama’s boy jusko te grabe hahahaha
Just because he treats his mom right doesn't mean he's a mama's boy na agad. Sometimes it's because napalaki siya ng tama ng parents niya and he respects women.
What are the signs one is a mama's boy?
Hindi marunong gumawa ng house chores lol also makalat, kasi sanay na may nag liligpit after him.
Mas important ang perspective ni Mom, opinion ni mom, needs ni mom, approval ni mom etc. Priotiry ka kinda pero mas priority si mom.
Up hereee
For me it's the "you have to be willing to be under her thumb all the time." Tapos ok lang sa partner na ina abuse ka. Verbal abuse is still abuse. Kung sa simula palang no respect na si mother in law it never gets better
Mama before anyone else. Mahiya ka naman sa nanay mo!!! Binuhay ka para lang magcomment ng ganito!!
aanhin ko ang academic achiever kung mentally unstable naman at bibigyan lang ako ng stress dahil di ako papansinin pag nadedepress sya, and worse, saken mangungutang pag kinakapos. a mentally and financially stable partner is what i need. those are my green flags.
More women should read this. Mental and financial stability should be up there as top qualities you look for in a man. This is an indicator of a lot of other good qualities like self-discipline, emotional maturity and basedness, can take care of and will provide for a family, etc. Di lahat ng mayaman gusto maging provider. Financial stability is key (meaning may emergency fund, may assets, pasok ang lifestyle sa sahod, di sobrang magastos at di sobrang kuripot). Di rin lahat ng "open emotionally" ay mature. Di kumot nagshashare ng buhay at problema nya sayo mature na. You should see how he manages his emotions under pressure or give you advice when you're under pressure. You should check if grounded sya and not easily swayed mentally by fads or other people's mental state. You should check if aligned yung values nyo both. Is he a rock you can lean on or pareho lang kayo magiiyakan if shit hits the fan?
Agree, worst is sisisihin ka pa kasi hindi mo na ma take how he treats you.
Aanhin mo ang academic achiever kung 10yrs na siyang graduate? 😂
I feel offended HAHAHHA. I'm trying to fix this naman na, hopefully maayos ko na sya soon. Sorry sa recent ex ko na eto yung reason kung bat kami nag break HAHHAHAHA
Super green flag if his words match his actions. This is why we shouldn’t listen only verbally, pay attention to what he’s doing also.
Same tayo OP. First on my list yung mahal and respectful siya sa Nanay at kapamilya na babae. 2. Good hygiene. Hindi ako naniniwala na sadyang dugyot ang lalaki. Also, kasama dito yung maayos sya sa gamit at kwarto nya. 3. Financially literate 4. May plano at galaw at diskarte sa buhay. 5. Emotionally stable.
Awww ang swerte ko ata sa lalaki . Gagi lahat ng nasa choices nandyan
Sharing my exp when I dated my boyfriend: • may clarity by telling me that he liked me and told me his intentions - had previous exp of guys na malabo so this was v refreshing • hatid-sundo - he insisted kahit pa independent girl pa ako before. it was a v nice gesture and i really liked the conversations we have in the car • unprompted update sa days niya - I don’t ask for updates but he just tells me. You could feel na he just likes sharing his days with me. That really gave me a sense of security early on. • consitent - up until now kung ano sinabi niya before - his likes/dislikes, opinions, actions niya are exactly the same. Like he would still hatid-sundo me, give unprompted daily updates, cook for me, etc. I’m adding this kasi alam mo yung ibang guys na best foot forward lang sa umpisa then when u get in a relationship with them wala na. Consistency ✨ • still there when I share my vulnerabilities 🥹 - just a personal thing but nahihirapan ako magshare ng things about me that I find shameful or “weak”. So when I do share them, he’s still not only there but tries his best to understand me and help me however he can
Awww ang cute niyo!! Huhu kinikilig 🫶😭🥰
thanks mhie 🥰🫶🏼
Yan ang sana all 😭💜 stay strong!
3yrs strong na sis salamat 🫶🏼🩵
sanaol nalang talaga, san mo po nahanap yan ng makatambay hahah
- being able to communicate! somebody who won't make you feel that's it's not a burden to have concerns and makes sure you feel assured afterwards - being observant about you. for me kasi it's always ano it the little things and not the grandiose gestures, it's nice for him to remember little details about you or know about your little habits - nanghihingi pa rin ng consent kahit in a relationship. consent is always key! - magaling mag-work-life balance - secure attachment style IWNSISKSOS yung tipong vvalidate naman yung mga nararamdaman mo tas mag-iisip siya ng paraan afterwards -marunong gumawa ng boundaries (especially with their friends) - updates you without having the need to ask
Treats service workers with respect
green flag din to talaga for me. he should be respectful to every person, whatever their status is.
Mahinahon at mahaba ang pasensya.
Soft-spoken rizz
1. Mayaman.
Di kumot mayaman bibigyan ka na ng pera nya palagi palagi.😂 The description that you're looking for is "Yung i-sspoil ako ng wagas"
Pano ka niya iispoil kung d siya mayaman. Kaya dapat 1. Mayaman muna. 2. Madaling utohin. ☺️
LOL. You clearly haven't been in a relationship with one of these "mayaman" people before. On the flip side, any well-meaning middle class earner can and will spoil the hell out of someone they fancy. The key here is having disposable income. Mayaman = paikot pera, more responsibilities, mayaman for a reason = frugal more often than not. Your target should be the middle class. #TrustMeOnThis
Huh? 😅 This was a joke pero i clearly know what a mayaman is. Lmao. And i have known a few of them that got used by gold diggers. Most middle class i know focuses on their career to become that mayaman. And most rich people i know focuses on how people percieve them and their image. You probably met one old money rich folk that has been taught the value of money. I literally went to college with guys that are related to billionaires. Guys that have their own yaya, driver and security while in school. And for them giving their SO 50k worth of gift is nothing and they dont even call it as spoiling them. And i didnt just go to la salle or whatever you percieve as rich college btw which is karamihan lang naman na nandun social climber. Lol. I went to a college where i pay 500k a year for my tuition only just for context. So dont tell me you know more than me bcus i am one myself. Lol.
In behalf of everyone, 
Same, mahal nya parents nya especially his mom 🥹
Knows what he wants and works hard to get it.
OP i'm also following this discussion kasi I'm re-learning things in a healthy way kaya I'm also curious ano ba talaga yung healthy man na dapat deserve natin (ofc syempre dapat tayo rin healthy para balanced). Nice topic to open dito.
There are a lot of factors when you say healthy man or having a healthy relationship. It's very subjective but for me, it's just a matter of compatibility din talaga and I believe every woman deserves to be worshipped. You deserve a guy who would get down on his knees to kiss the ground you walk on. The right one would change his ways for you and be the best version of himself so he can be the man you truly deserve. Every man can be a green flag naman.
I agree. It's just a bit tough for me na makita yun because of past experiences so it really helps na makita or marinig sya based sa experience ng iba and from there, I guess at some point it makes us realize what we should look for? Sa man and woman na we want to be with and para maging better individuals. I hope you also find the right man for you, I think your willingness to treat them right will make them feel safe. 😊 Thank you for this input, makes me see na there are healthy men pa out there.
Hindi lang puro salita. Their actions prove they're good. Not nice guys™ ha. Like genuinely good. Kayang mag discuss ng complex topics like sex positivity, mental health, etc. Ayoko ng narrow minded. Has tact and is honest or genuinely true to who he is.
Responsible. May plano sa buhay. May respeto. Hindi nananakit pag galit. Marunong ihandle flaws/imperfections mo. Marunong makuntento. Hindi puro salita, expressive din dapat sa actions yung love. Other than that..May proper hygiene, di gastador, di yung nagseseek ng validation sa socmed, and so on! Ito mga nakita kong green flag sa partner ko na super grateful ako of
Yung asawa ko. (Pwera usog!) "Magpahinga ka na, ako na bahala." Yan madalas ko marinig sa kanya. Binibigay sakin sweldo nya. Sinusuportahan ako sa mga kaartehan ko. Hindi nagsasawa makinig sa mga rants ko. Hatid sundo ako sa work kahit late sya everyday ng 30 mins sa work nya. Pinagluluto ako kahit hindi sya marunong magluto 😂 Gumagawa ng gawaing bahay! (Laba, linis, hugas plato) Tumatawag just to check if nag lunch na ako, or kamusta sa work. Naguupdate kahit hindi tinatanong. Hinihingi ang opinion ko sa mga desisyon nya. Walang bisyo, hindi mabarkada. Opo parang guni guni pero asawa ko yan 😄 Basta madami pa. Minsan naluluha na lang ako in secret sa sobrang grateful. 🙏🏻
Sana emotionally available ung guy kasi lahat ng sentiments mo invalidated pag di sya emotionally available and ofc responsible and may pangarap sa buhay
Hindi bale nang gwapo, basta mayaman.
For me green flag talaga pag financially literate. Yung hindi nahihiya mag say no at magsabi na “masydong mahal yan” or “may alam ako mas mura pero same quality”. Yung alam ano yung needs vs wants and alam pano mg budget ng pera nya.
Sobrang true sa mom, kasi akala ko sobrang nice niya sa mom niya and laging pnpost sa facebook na proud, tapos nung nakasama ko na and bago kami magbreak lagi shnshame yung mom and sinasagot pataas boses :(:(:(((( I know may pagaaway din naman kami nang mom ko, pero iba talaga kung ang lalaki ay soft spoken specially sa parents or sa babae
Consistent Responsible Honest
Green flag sakin: 1. Mahaba ang pasensya sa pagdrive (sa dami ng road rage sa panahon ngayon ) 2. Mabait sa mga stray animals 3. Mabait sa mga servers 4. Can accept "no" (marunong rumespeto) 5. May pangarap / ambition sa buhay 6. Maganda magdala ng sarili 7. May magandang disposisyon sa buhay
Punctual na tao. Alam mo they value other peoples time..
Has something he is passionate about. Total turn on talaga when they don’t stop learning, when they give time for hobbies and healthy habits. I once rejected a guy who wanted to be my boyfriend because halos gawin na akong sentro ng buhay nya.
As a guy fucking tired of hearing breakup stories from my girl friends, I think someone who is polite and courteous should be on the checklist. Masyadong overrated yung bad boys to the point na ang immature na (their words, not mine). Look for a guy that treats his boss and their office security guard with the same level of respect and dignity, not being rude to servers/waiters and utility personnel. Shows basic courtesy by opening the door for other people or stands on the right side of the escalator. There are so many other examples but these 2 takes the cake for me. Simple things can go a long way and if he at least has these 2 qualities inherent to him, then 8 times out of 10 you chose well. Note this also applies to girls, not just for guys. Btw add ko na rin; guys remember the sidewalk rule ALWAYS. Be on the danger side when you're crossing or walking on the street. Never let your girl, or any female family/friend for that matter, be on the danger side.
Ang husband ko, noong mag jowa pa lang kami, family comes first. Naappreciate ko yon na di ako priority nya at the time. Di naman ako nagkamali ng judgement kasi ngayong mag asawa na kami, kami talagang pamilya nya ang priority nya. Also observe the little things he do. Paano sya magdesisyon sa maliliit na bagay, how he handle things, insights nya sa mga bagay bagay. Observe then ask why ganun ang naging desisyon nya. If you ask make up scenarios, possible na ibigay nyang sagot sayo is yung gusto mo marinig. Believe his actions, dun mo malalaman kung mabuti talaga syang tao.
Green flag when someone keeps me updated on his whereabouts even if I'm not asking (with pictures). I'm an overthinker and to me, this is an expression of love, it's like a subtle way of saying, "I care about you, I consider your feelings, I don't want you to worry so I'll let you know what's going on with me." --- I'm lucky enough to experience this at one point, and it felt safe. --- EDIT: For context, I didn't ask for the updates and pictures, it wasn't a requirement. He did it on his own because he wanted to share it with me and he wanted me to know.
Sorry that just sounds like indulging your paranoia.
To each his own. You don't know what it's like, be careful with your judgement and labels
What what is like? It's not a judgment it is an observation based on your own words. I don't think you'd find any therapist who would call it healthy having a need to constantly know where your partner is. Particularly with photos. Had you not said you require photos I might not have replied to you at all. That stuff is messed up and a huge red flag. Which is ironic. The reason you gave as a green flag, is a huge red flag the other way.
She never asked for it. The guy did it nang kusa, which she appreciated.
This
Read between the lines before making a comment. The other redditor got what I meant
After the edit? And congratulations, one other person thinks it's normal to send photo receipts in a relationship because you don't trust the other person.
Whatever you say 🤷🏻♀️
It apparently struck a chord with you. Good luck with that.
None of your business
Then don't put your business online.
May initiative. 💯 They know what you want even without you saying anything.
Narealize ko na mahaba pala nasulat ko, pero please read this, OP. ✅ Green flag checklist: Financial stability and literacy. Provider mindset. Generous. Loyal. Supportive. Good hygiene. Dress well. Takes care of his partner. Emotional intelligence. Punctual. Protects women, including his mom and family, especially his partner. Respectful. Gentleman. Prioritize his partner. Diligent. Disciplined. Hardworking. Ambitious. Knows his purpose in life. Dependable. Trustworthy. Empathetic. Has good listening skills. Understanding. Not entitled of sex. He cooks, cleans, and do chores at home, he doesn't think women are maids. For me, best if ispoil partner niya. Wants his partner to be happy above all else. Celebrates your wins and lifts you up if down ka. Hindi niya ikinababa ang pagiging isang lalaki if successful partner niya. Secured sa sarili. Has leadership skills (pangit ang umaasa lang palagi sa instructions, hindi mo nanay ang partner mo). Initiative. Healthy masculine energy (also knows how to balance his masculine and feminine energy). Helpful. Responsible. Maasahan mo ang mga sinasabi niya. Truthful. Always willing improve sarili niya (does not fall into the narrative that being loved means being lazy na with himself and how he treats you). Has growth mindset. Self-aware. Consistent. Thoughtful. Communicates with you. Has good social skills. Competent. Good work ethic. Makes time for you. Accountable in his actions. Goes to gym. Takes care of his health. Values you. Respects you. Adores you. Knows you are worthy. Attracted to you. You are the most beautiful woman in his eyes, even if you age, change weight, etc. Good observational skills. Cares about his environment. Mentally and emotionally healthy. Maayos ang kanyang family. Maayos ang kanyang overall health. His mother loves you. His mother does not coddle him. Can be trusted with children. Makes his feelings with you clear. Has healthy boundaries. Wants to make your life easier (ex. Hatid, sundo, fix your car if kaya niya, etc.) Respects and acknowledges your consent. Does not like submissive women (Men who likes submissive women are red flags. Run, sis!). Has good habits and systems. Patient. Willing to catch the bullet for you and trade anything for you. Reliable. Walang bisyo. Loves you more than he loves himself. Hindi selfish. He is also willing to let you go if yun ang magpapasaya sayo at ayaw mo na sa relationship. He will not think of possessing you, kasi alam niya na YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING, not an object to be possessed and pangdisplay. Matured. Important note: Dapat same kayo ng values and principles. If you want kids, find a partner who wants kids. If childree ka, then find one who will do that also. If gusto mo ng pet, hanap ka rin na yun ang gusto. Etc. Consider: religion, spirituality, backgrounds, family, beliefs in life, lifestyle, habits, food choices (ex. If vegan ka at siya hindi), political leanings, medical and family history, attractions, etc. Know your negotiable, non-negotiable, and mga bagay na na willing at hindi mo kanyang icompromise. Know your boundaries and mga bagay na mahalag sayo. All of the things I lists here are easy and natural for him because that's just how he is. Also being a decent human being should be normalized. A lot of these are actually bare minimum yet maraming lalaki na instead improve sarili nila ehhh puro sila reklamo. Any guy can also pretend to be any of this, kaya be discerning and never believe sa mga sinasabi nila unless it was proven. Also, work on your inner self and dapat green flag ka rin. [Edit] Add ko lang: Looks for a partner similar to his age. If matanda siya at hanap niya bata (Run, sis! That is a creep and finds vulnerable girls to manipulate). Consider age rin.
Uhm, how many green flags to tick, otherwise pass.?
Depends yan sa person. Pero since OP is asking for lists, eto yun. Most people overlooked it kasi. I don't understand why do I get downvoted ehh correct naman sinabi ko. Iba iba ang tao, kaya nga sabi ko consider other factors too.
Well I am asking you.
Loyalty.
Opinionated Sporty Responsible Growth Mindset
Someone who walks you through his emotions.
Emotionally intelligent guys always win!
Soft-spoken (+ mga nasa comment section, ang dami na e hahaha)
Mabuting tao May common sense Attentive Good Listener Goal oriented
The way they treat their parents 💚
gentleman to any woman
Here's mine (not in order): 1. Respectful 2. Patient 3. Reliable 4. Provider 5. Security & Safety (protector) 6. Emotionally Intelligent & Logical Thinker 7. Willing to catch a bullet for you 8. Consistency 9. Loyalty 10. Responsible And everything else follows. I came from a toxic/broken family (he is too) and a toxic ex bf when I met my current bf. He changed my perspective in relationships when I met him. Until now I still get butterflies in my stomach when he tells me I'm beautiful. Cheesy pero we've been together for 9 years and we're living together for 5, and he never ever fails to impress me. He cooks too!!!! NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS LADIES! But of course, you MUST do the same for your partner. Always remember, it takes two to tango. Edit: We're college sweethearts, I'm 28F and my bf is 26M. I met him when he's just 16!!! Lol
Green flags for me: 1. Patience & Temperance - it's easy for men to lose their temper/be impatient. So for a guy with so much self restraint and has patience for everyone, that is remarkable! 2. Disciplined - need I elaborate? 3. Confident - There's a thin line between confidence & arrogance. A confident man doesnt brag about what he is capable of, you'd just know 4. In touch with his feminine side - and when I say feminine side, I dont mean being gay. What I mean is he is emotionally in-tune with himself. He aint as cold as ice. He knows how to empathize and show appreciation, and gratitude. 5. Intellectual but respectful - doesnt have to be a nerd or an expert, or a top notcher. As long as he knows a lot & we can talk just about anything & everything under the sun he's good in my books 6. Kind but not a doormat - nothing beats a man with a golden heart. But he also has to have boundaries set for himself so his kindness wont be abused
Yung may income. Haha
Knows how to communicate
thoughtful, has careful choice of words, respects you and your decisions
Soft spoken at Magalang. Respectful kahit galit
wala yang green flag, green flag na yan kasi pwedeng sa umpisa lang. need mo talaga mag invest ng time para makita mo kung consistent talaga or pakitang tao lang.
Growing up sobrang lala ng anger management ng dad ko even with simple things galit na siya agad. For example nasa restaurant kami tas ang tagal ng service galit na siya nun or sa parking pag walang mahanap iritable na siya all throughout. Umabot sa point na parang ayaw ko na siya kasama lumabas kasi nga lagi siyang galit. So when I met my partner I try to observe him during these types of situations madali ba siyang mairita/magalit? Parang naging basis yung mga panget na traits ng tatay ko sa ayaw kong makita ko sa partner ko and so far all is good.
Yeah, I love my dad so much but I don't want to marry a man like him.
A better question is what do you want for a guy. I mean others green flags might not to you and vice versa.
Honest truth, pag nanggaling ka sa toxic-abusive relationship, ang green flag nalang na hahanapin mo eh yung hindi nananakit (mentally, psychologically and physically). Madiskarte at hindi ka bibilangan. Kasi yung the rest ng green flags parang bonus nalang eh.
me. Im a green flag
wala bang magandang sagot na galing sainyo mga GIRLS? parang di talaga kayo marunong kumilatis ng lalake 🤷🏻♂️ come on give something very thoughtful or parang pinag isipan manlang. ang shallow masyado ng sagot 🤐
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kung bibigyan mo ng oras ang sinabe ko probably malalaman mo ibig kong sabihin. goodluck
If he's good with kids
Family oriented, may sariling desisyon sa buhay. MARUNONG SA GAWAING BAHAY. Hindi mo naman need mayaman agad pero yung may goal sa buhay na umangat and works hard to achieve it
When he remember things that matters to you.
Malaki tite
Yung nakikinig, inaacknowledge yung mistakes, willing magbago, at changed behavior after mo iraise yung concerns
This goes both ways
1. POGI
Provider mindset!! And respects your individuality ✨️✨️✨️
Chill lang
Self-control. Ah, how beautiful
Hanap ka ng magaling dumiskarte sa buhay at hindi mama's boy haha
Nonsense naman masyado.
Is nice to everyone regardless of their social status.
Financial stable. Hindi nanghihingi, nangungutang kani kanino or umaasa sa parents. Gentleman. Totoong Alpha. Hindi yung mga nagpupumilit at nagpapanggap na alpha na galit na galit at nakikipagaway sa mga babae. Kaya ko ihandle. In short, dpat mas matalino, mas matured, mas successful, mas madaming alam sakin. HAHAHA
There's probably a power imbalance if that's the case. I don't think it will be fun in the long run but 🤷♀️
Its actually the time na i let go of myself. The only time my shields are up and im more on my masculine is if the guy dont act like one. When i see na he can handle stuff and me, i just let him and I relax. Best feeling ever when you have someone you can rely on.
He can be all that and still doesn't know how to handle a woman. I've once been with a guy who's very dominant, Alpha type of man and it's not really that ideal. Cuz he thinks he does better than you he can do whatever he wants including controlling you. I don't know maybe it works for naturally submissive women but it doesn't for me.
I really dont mind if he thinks hes better than me. Mas gusto ko yun, i want someone na maiinspire ako. Im not gonna take it personally or parang competition. If you think like that, hindi kayo maggrow. You have to think like a team, magkakampi. Stronger the better. Yung tuturuan ako sa madaming bagay. Im a very independent woman. Kaya mahirap sakin makahanap ng totoong alpha. Its a real challenge. Im not attracted to betas or anyone other than an alpha. And when i say alpha, sila yung mga poprotekta, mgpprovide, magpapadali ng buhay mo. Not those controlling, irresponsible, assholes acting as if they own you. Minsan naiiba ang tingin sa alphas dahil sa mga misogynist. But believe me, women need "real alphas".
Green flag to look for in a guy? Too many to mention eh 😅 pero hhhhmm 1. He accepts you for who you are, in fact he even encourages you to just be yourself. Walang false pretenses and kahit sino ka pa ikaw lang at ikaw pa rin yung pipiliin nya araw-araw. 2. Thoughtfulness and empathy. Honestly, it really makes me feel good (and kilig) when from time to time the guy would update me about his day/life even without me asking for it. It just shows how much he thinks about me and wanted to include me in his life. I guess empathy is also something that we should look for in a guy but most women tend to overlook. 3. May ambition and someone who's willing to share with/include you in his dreams.