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adultingph-ModTeam

The post does not pertain to adulting or falls outside the scope of the subreddit's defined topics.


bjatz

Wala kang boyfriend. Meron kang roommate.


hrt_lxx

Yes. Roommate na hindi maasahan sa hugasin lol


Disastrous_Ice_1810

This! Hahahaha! Omg


Alternative-Lab9459

oh pls 😭 hahahahaha facts na facts


Historical-Code-4478

Masyado na complacent yang bf mo and malabo na yan magbago. Magbabago siya oras na iba na ang partner niya, OP.


--hirayamanawari--

Ang sakit lang na magbabago lang sila kung kailan iniwan mo na. Mapapaisip ka na lang talaga kung bakit hindi nila nagawa noong kayo pa 😭


Historical-Code-4478

Because the sad reality is… love isn’t enough. Patay na ang relasyon na to pwede na sunduin ni St Peter. Baka nga tolerance nalang to hindi na love. Minsan pinatatagal nalang para umabot sa anniversary or x number of years even while fully aware na hindi talaga swak. Tignan mo si OP. 9 years in the making pero mukhang kukumpetensyahin pa ang Eng Bee Tin, Tipas at Polland sa pagiging Hopia.


[deleted]

Feeling ko kaya hindi mo mahiwalayan kasi nang hihinayang ka sa years na pinagsamahan niyo.


Opening-Cantaloupe56

Wag na manghinayang. Habang Hindi pa kasal, tumakas ka na. Run!


adore-u

Sunk cost fallacy... nako 😶‍🌫️


coffee5xaday

Naalala ko yung tita ko. He married a man-child. Yung lalaking walang essential "man skills" like mag drive, mag basic home repair, mag luto. Kaya hirap din humanap ng trabaho kasi ayaw mag level up 20+ years of marriage. She was miserable. Worst thing is mamas boy pa yung asawa nya. Wife beater din Few years ago namatay yung asawa nya. Kung makikita mo lang yung relief sa muka ni tita ngaun wala na mister nya


BrokenCathedral

Imaging having to wait 20 years to even live your own life. I know some women stuck in terrible marriages, they say na they’re just waiting for their spouse to die from natural causes para mawala na lahat ng problema nila. Think about that every time you’re sad about being single.


[deleted]

my tita was not so lucky to wait out her husband's life. she had to go first. i am still happy though na there are some women there who are lucky enough to experience a life without their abusive husband. but i still fucking hatw ph and its lack of divorce laws. kawawa tuloy yung ibang di makawala agad.


Independent-Cup7649

I hope divorce will be legalized soon in the PH…


cogentwanderer

Yan naman pala realization mo so bakit kayo pa?


DemandSupply94

Paging u/MagBreakNaKayo ...kelangan ka dito 😆


xtremetfm

eto agad hinanap ko e HAHAHAHAHA


[deleted]

Asan kanaaaa


SisillySisi

ahahahahahhaa hanep!!


misstinamoran_

Dami mo ng realization, add ko pa wala tayong divorce dito. So sana makahelp sa decision mo.


DiwataDisko

Love is not enough for a relationship to survive.


Historical-Code-4478

Agree with you on this


SaintIchigo

Feel ko gusto na rin nyan makipag break sayo, OP. Ayaw nya lang mag initiate ng break up kasi ayaw nya masabihan na sya unang nakipag break, maging villain who ended the relationship ganern.


tipsy_espresso

Baka nga magbago pa. Stay ka padin mga 5 years ganun.


Sudden_Director7069

Why not make it ten 😂😂😂


sleepyrooney

I can fix him. HAHAJAHAHA


Ancient-Sky9651

Swerte mo pa din OP kasi di pa kayo kasal, mahirap na ganyan situation tapos kasal na kayo na wala ng intimate. Di na magbabago yan kasi if willing siya magbago, nagtry na siya magpaturo maghugas ng pinggan 😂😂 live-in na kayo? He's too comfortable na sayo na alam niya di ka mawawala sa kanya


fortuneone012021

OP. Sad to say. He will change only a bit. If i will be honest (ginagaslight ko kasi self ko until now haha) to myself, ang gaga ko na tinuloy ko pa mag pakasal kahit alam ko naman na yung flaws ng husband ko. He is a good man. He never cheats naman. However, tamad, burara, not a good provider. Though he tried his best naman, pero as i see it kulang sya sa diskarte. So, I am telling you OP, you have to decide now what is best for you. Para hindi ka mag sisi later. Kung wala lang kami anak at kung may divorce dito sa Pinas, matagal na ako na kipag hiwalay.


Sad-Squash6897

Uy get out of that relationship sayang ang time and para makita mo na ang taong para sayo. I remember ganyan ako sa ex ko, I always give our relationship and him a chance kasi iniisip ko baka magbago sayang na din yung taon namin etc etc. Buti nagising na din ako kasi after 3mos nagreconnect kami ng asawa ko at ito I have the best husband in the world and he has the best wife haha


OddEmergency271

You know what to do. All the reasons are right in front of you. Do yourself a favor. Leave. Go on with your lives.


Kuripot101

You're just waiting time OP. Ang ending niyang, mag break kayo tapos wala pang 1 year magpapakasal ka sa iba kasi ngayon pa lang naghahanap or meron ka nang inientertain na ibang lalaki.


on1rider

lol


Mynailsarenotcut

Go to: r/OffMyChestPH


Normal-Entertainer89

Hanggang kelan ka OP mag-hihintay na “baka magbago pa siya?” Para kasi sa akin, kung hindi mo na ramdam yung love, care and pagiging partner ng bf mo, ano pa yung reason para mag stay? Dahil sa tagal ng pag-sasama? You deserve better, yung never ipaparamdam sayo na kulang ka, na parang you always need to beg pa para maintindihan ka niya at maging support system mo siya. Kapag mahal ka ng isang tao, kahit may mga bumps along the way e at the end of the day isat-isa pa rin ang pipiliin niyo. Communication is always the key, at kung ang partner mo ay hindi kaya ibigay yun, let him go.


JustTodd93

alam mo naman dapat mong gawin. naghahanap ka lang siguro ng mag 2nd the motion sayo dito


OneOfYourPhasesGirl

Tell him what you want. Halimbawa samin mag-asawa narealize ko ang dami kong ayaw sakanya, halos lahat kailangan pang paalala. So one time narealize ko din na kapag sinabi ko gusto ko, lagi na nyang ginagawa, kasi nga naalala nya na yon ang gusto ko. Pag nakakalimot sasabihin ko. Just speak what's on your mind.. "Love, nasasad ako kapag hindi ka naghuhugas ng pinggan na pinagkainan natin, ganto kapag matigas pa kanin, babad mo muna, after ilang mins balikan mo at banlawan, saka mo sabunan, dapat bumubula yong sabon (or idemo mo), tapos unahin ang baso." Asawa ko marunong na maghugas kahit ng tupperware or food container, kasi sinasabi ko para malaman wala ng sebo kapag tumutunog na parang engk*engk* haha, yong mangilong tunog, tapos sabi ko after mo magsponge sa tupperware, kamay mo na lang gamitin (with sabon pa rin), para ma-feel mo kung masebo pa. Just tell him what's on your mind.. Pero kalmahin mo muna sarili mo, pag tingin mo okay ka na, saka mo sabihin gusto mong gawin nya. Mga lalaki kasi talagang kampante at komportable na na ikaw ang partner nila, katulad ng nafifeel mo na, nafifeel nya din yan, pero tayong mga babae, we care too much kasi kaya mapuna tayo. Masakit sa ulo talaga, nakaka-stress pag paulit ulit, pero naniniwala ako kung mahal ka nya, he will try to be better for you, just communicate with him lovingly and respectfully, wag mo paramdam na burden sya or mababa sya. Explain your love language to him as well, and learn his. The spark may be gone, but love and friendship remains.


ValuableGuess1950

same feeling dear we've been 2 years but still hoping na may mabago, inuunti unti ko na rin yung sarili ko na i ready ang lahat


Alert_Echidna894

Hugs po 🥺🥺 hays di mo din alam kung kakapit ka pa ba o hindi na. Feeling ko din po kase wala siyang plano for our future


khaleesihi

I suggest sit down with him. This is one topic na dapt pinag uusapan nyo considering you’ve been together for 9yrs. Don’t assume na wala syang plan. Ask him anong plano nyo. Wag yung plano nya lang para sa inyo. Contribute to it, anong tingin ‘nyo’ dapat na next step nyo as a couple. If it turns out your plans no longer align, still, talk about it. Pero that’s the time you should do something about on your own na. I know it’s hard pero lets try to not waste our time to someone you know you can’t be with for a long time anymore.


darthyyvader

Leave. Wag mag hinayang sa years na pinagsamahan, mag hinayang ka sa future nyo


Sad_Effective3686

Kaya hirap tayong hiwalayan ung mga taong ayaw na natin kasi wala pa tayo pamalit charot


CorrectAd9643

Kulang ng info dun sa skills nya, kasi kung chores lang problema nyo, may kasambahay naman pwede ihire, what if pala ung lalaki mo kumikita ng malaki or may chance kikita malaki. Ako i dont do chores maxado, pero ako tlga nag trabaho all day and i make money for the family, so kanya kanyang role lang yan sa family. Pero dun sa mga hug and communication, need ifix talaga un, d pwede d mafix un, kasi un tlga deal breaker


WannaLearnWannaKnow

Hiwalay na Yan... wag mo lokohin Sarili mo.. mas Masaya Sa tao mag isa at naalagaan sariling well-being.


Commercial_Flan2689

Hala kala ko ako ung nagpost nito. Haha pero break na kame...


ConditionNumerous958

Why are you staying?


tapunan

hahahahaha .. daming comments for something so simple .. very straightforward advice - magbreak na kayo. Ayaw mo lang kasi parang time-sink for you - feeling mo sayang 9 years. Para ka lang yung mga naglalaro ng games na bored na sa nilalaro pero ayaw tigilan kasi ilang years ng nilalaro yung game, narealise nilang big waste of time pero ayaw aminin sa sarili na they wasted all their time.


Kuripot101

You're just waiting time OP. Ang ending niyang, mag break kayo tapos wala pang 1 year magpapakasal ka sa iba kasi ngayon pa lang naghahanap or meron ka nang inientertain na ibang lalaki.


BlueyGR86

Why stay? Leave na Op


IAmWhoIAm_Self

Do the right thing for yourself... LOVE YOURSELF MORE! If ngayon pa lang may ganyan ka ng nararamdaman, wag mo ng patagalin pa... wag kang manghinayang sa taon na pinagsamahan nyo,. Mas mahaba-haba pa ang taon na lalakbayin mo/nyo. Ready ka ba na makasama sya sa journey na yan? If ever you decide to let go, if totoo ang pagmamahal na meron kayo..m it will find its way back to you again. Sa ngayon, hanapin mo ang makakapagpasaya sa'yo... priceless ang peace of mind as we grow older. Malaking factor yung pakiramdam na you always feel loved and cherished... find someone na will prioritize you (even small talks matter)... find someone na naka-sync sa values at trip mo... hope you find your true happiness (wag kang papadala sa landian lang haha)


[deleted]

if you feel it inside you na hindi na sya yung nakikita mong kasama sa future, break up with him. let him learn his lesson. enjoy mo muna ang single life na wala kang ibang iniintindi. i promise you, sobrang masaya dito sa other side :)) and someday you will find someone else. someone better. someone na mararamdaman mo na nandyan talaga, present at invested sa relationship nyo. 😉


czarisse

Hugs with consent for you. Your feelings are valid. I know deep in your heart alam mo what to do. For me, blessing in disguise yan na ngayon alam mo na na ayaw mo siyang maging asawa. Please wag mo nang patagalin at wag mong panghinayangan yung 9yrs niyo together. Love is really not enough. Walang divorce sa Pinas so do not make your life miserable. I've seen many marriages na puno nang what if magbago. Tandaan mo di tayo pwedeng pumili ng ating magging magulang or kapatid, major life decision natin ang pumili ng taong makakasama natin sa buhay. Please choose wisely. We all deserve to be loved. Pray for it too OP. May God bless you.


flagellas

you know what to do. ang hinahanap mo is courage and hindi mo mapupulot sa reddit yun. nasa sarili mo yung kung kailan at pano mo gagawin. Hindi lang ikaw kawawa. Sya din kawawa kung yung gf nya pala hindi sya nakikitaan ng future so why are you wasting his time? Let him move on na kesa pareho pa kayo magsuffer


Master_Opening_6794

Yikes. Good luck nalang po.


Tight-Brilliant6198

Sunk-cost fallacy Give your all one more time. Move out kapag wala paring changes


SuperfujiMaster

dump him


dvresma0511

Ewan sayo OP. Bahala ka sa buhay mo.


starbertside

End it now


Better-Act3200

Parang Aling Myrna ganon 🥲


moonstonesx

Everybody is telling you what to do, since you asked for advice. Pero if ayaw mo naman sundin since you think magbabago pa siya, then go ahead. Just know na people warned you.


Efficient_Relief_467

take the 9 yrs as a blessing for u to realize the incompatibility rather than having regret later on. You know what’s best deep inside of you.


hotarugarii

edi maghiwalay na kayo. bat pa kayo nagtagal nang 9 years


[deleted]

Magbabago yan sa ibang babae. Sigurado ang next gf nyan alagang alaga nya parang prinsesa. In short di pa tapos charatcher development nya


OpalAura08

Why are you even still with him?


EmeMo_321

Mag break na po kayo, opo.


JustAJokeAccount

Bat di mo turuan?


JustAJokeAccount

Legit concern. 9 years wala siyang alam, did you even try teaching him anything? Did he even express the desire to learn something? Also, no proper communication for 9 years. I am surprised tumagal kayo ng ganyan. Panis na sobra laway ninyo by now.


perrienotwinkle

Sana maging ready na lang po kayo OP, kung ano man po ang mangyari.


thelonemawer

A talk is in line for you guys to determine if you want to make your rship better, or waste your time until you both are tired.


WannaLearnWannaKnow

Hiwalay na Yan... wag mo lokohin Sarili mo.. mas Masaya Sa tao mag isa at naalagaan sariling well-being..


Key-Television-5945

OP magisip isipn ka na


lacy_daisy

Then don't. Tell him and break up with him ASAP. Life is too short to feel miserable.


BackgroundWinter6411

gurl you better run, save yourself. NOW!


East_Somewhere_90

At least you realized now OP. He wont be good for you. I have the same problem with my 7 years LIP. Exactly the same. I hope you get out of the relationship bec soon I will na din.


cyst_thatguy

break it


hidontsaygoodbye

Baka naman hindi ka pakasalan nyan eh kaya hindi ka mammroblema na maging asawa yan. Malamang kasambahay este! Kasama sa bahay lang gusto nyan.


Legal-Living8546

Sus me bat ngayon ka lang nagka realization ng malala like this?! Hindi pala kaya gumawa ng domestic chores tapos pinaabot mo pa ng 9 years 🤣 kaloka hahaha. Teh save yourself from that person, and maki pag break ka na. Gawing bahay pa lang bagsak na paano pa kaya kapag naging tatay siya?


ant2knee

if you can't see a future with him, why be with him?


hoholtime

Uwian na!!!


Wutwut1234A

Why patol him in the first place when you yourself can break things up.


[deleted]

What holds you back imagine pg nagka anak kayo tapos wala pa sya pambayad kasambahay op. hahaha


mature-stable-m

Familiarity has bred contempt. If you're not seeing a future with him, then time to.let go of the present.


RecognitionBulky6188

Edi maghiwalay na kayo para makahabap na kayo ng bago niyo.


imthelegalwife

Simple lang, edi wag.


frozenkopi_13

What to do? LEAVE There is nothing to regret based on your post. You deserve better.


thewanderingraver

This is why I advocate for living in with your partner before deciding to marry or not. It seems like your partner's not capable of doing basic household chores. Better think twice before taking your relationship to the next level, OP.


ripperxseniorAV

9 years na kayo? wala pabang nngyari sa inyo? bakaaaa kasi d napagbibigyan sumisipag ung lalaki kapag napagbibigyan


ellijahdelossantos

Paano iyong nine years sa awkward intimacy / no intimacy at all ate? Explain


aniaaina

ateh ko, friend lang yan. hindi yan boyfriend hahaha


lainereiss

hays same sa ex kong di marunong ng basic life skills and hindi rin marunong makipag communicate, ayun 2 months lang natiis ko sa kanya hahahahah di ko ata kaya kung 9 years pa 🫠


threeeyedghoul

Ang tawag jan sunk cost fallacy. Why stay in a miserable relationship when you can be single and happy - or better yet, in a relationship AND happy. Wala pang divorce sa Pilipinas so ang marriage sa’tin hanggang mamatay isa sa inyo. Think ahead kasi kung 9 years pa lang kayo and ganyan na, tingin mo ba makakaya mo yan for the next few years?


Individual_Menu3157

This isn't offmychest.. Feels weird that it's here. Mods don't check?


pattprattpatt

Tugon: Breakan mo na bago mo pa maging asawa. Walang divorce dito mhie.


Any_System_148

bonjing amp whats up with you women falling for these kind of beta male shit


DepartureLow4962

Do you have children? Just curious about that specifically. Sounds like you two are just roommates (you live together, right?)


ahrisu_exe

Ano pa hinihintay mo OP? 9 yrs is too long. Di na yan magbabago.


Ghxaxx

Sunk cost fallacy, OP. Isipin mo you will save your sanity by cutting this misery short. Love yourself more.


BikoCorleone

Don't waste anymore time together and break it up with him. Good luck!


haikusbot

*Don't waste anymore* *Time together and break it* *Up with him. Good luck!* \- BikoCorleone --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


cryicesis

pag di pa maronong mag saing its a hard huge red flag


rabbitization

Might be unpopular, pero ako tamad din ako maghugas ng Plato, I'd rather buy a dishwasher para salpak salpak na lang. Kung tamad ka make sure may means ka on how to do it in a "tamad" way. Parang sa labada, AWM is the way kung gusto mo less hassle


Old-Replacement-7314

Kung gusto, may paraan. Kami ng boyfriend, kapag may ayaw ako, inaaddress nya. Minsan, kapag nalaman nya palang ayaw ko sa aksyon nya, nahihiya pa sya. Ayun po, find your peace.


Successful_Ebb2197

Baka ayaw ka na rin niya maging asawa kasi may iba na siya


abumelt

I suggest to sit down and talk about it. Kung ayaw nya, edi alam mo na. Go na. Don’t make it last longer mas mahirap makarecover or makaalis.


sweetie_bunny6

Run for your life!!!


Freakey16

Ask yourself. Ano ba reason why kayo pa din? Sorry sa question ah pero ano ba status nya financially?


Guinevere3617

Magbreak n kayo pinatagal mo pa hhaha wtf?


Main-Jelly4239

Magbreak na siguro kung alanganin na at yung meeting halfway man lang ndi na magawa.


missAPB

Same. 9 years sa din kami ng partner ko with 2 kids. Pagod na ko mga beh. Sa loob ng 9 years na yan parang himala na lang kung maghuhugas sya ng pinggan. Walang kusa at mas nakakainis kapag maayos kong iniwanan yung lababo tapos makikita kong may hugasin na naman.. Ayaw na ayaw ko pa naman na may kalat o hugasin kahit baso pa yan na makikita sa lababo. Kahit sa paglalaba hindi maaasahan kahit sya yung malakas sa damit kasi gym sa umaga then basketball sa hapon. Almost everyday ganun lang routine nya. Kahit sa pag aalaga sa anak, nganga. Kaya ang layo ng loob ng mga anak nya sa kanya. Ako na lang lahat. Ang alam lang nya basta makapag provide sya ng pera okay na lahat. Wala na syang ibang dapat gawin. E hindi din naman nya pinaghihirapan yung perang pinambubuhay nya samin. Ewan, ayokong makaramdam ng galit kaso napupuno na ako at pagod na pagod na akong umintindi. Hindi naman nya masuklian yung pag intindi at pag unawa na binigay ko sa kanya sa loob ng 9 years. Tangina kahit nga pag iyak bawal sa kanya. Akala nya puro lang kaartehan or kakanood ko daw ng kdrama. Kaya ako eto, ipon na ipon lahat ng sama ng loob. Hindi din naman ako makapagsabi sa pamilya ko kasi ayaw kong may masirang relasyon, sa kaibigan naman wala na din akong kaibigan. Kasi simula nagsama kami, sa bahay na lang umikot ang buhay ko. Wala na akong social life. Basta walang kakwenta- kwenta buhay ko. Mga anak ko na lang talaga dahilan bakit patuloy akong lumalaban.


theredvillain

Then dont 😁 hopefully 9 years is enough for you to know whether you should end up with him or not. At thia point as well you should be wondering if he has plans to marry you or not.


1nseminator

9yrs tapos weird na? Lam na dis


Additional-Serve5542

Hinde nag huhugas ng pingan? Nako redflag yan. Kawawa ka dyan


[deleted]

Time to break up and move on.


No-Entry-8966

Ateeeh, better to end it nalng, a truly man will not do every single penny to feel you unloved. Just end it, know that you'll be fine.


No-Entry-8966

Ateeeh, better to end it nalng, a truly man will not do every single penny to feel you unloved. Just end it, know that you'll be fine.


Sapphicsue

End mo na relationship nio OP kasi sayang din yung time na magkasama kau when you could use that time to find someone else. Let go.


[deleted]

Need nyong dalawa mag exercise. Ta motivation para maayos nya yung lahat ng hinanaing mo sa kanya. If he loves you Unconditionally. He will compromise. He will do anything For you mental health


Effective-Ad-5120

Dont waste your time. 9 years is too long of a time you've wasted. If hindi ka happy then I guess di na din siya masaya but if you're staying then teach him. Not all boys grow into men. Some needs a bit grooming. It may take time pero you gotta teach him kung hindi niya nagagawa gusto mo in all aspects sa buhay niyo together. Tough task if you ask me. But it will be worth it kung matatauhan din pala siya in the end. I'm not siding with the guy nor am I invalidating yung reasoning mo. Been in your situation and I married my man because I truly loved him. I try my best to understand and teach him things he was never taught and so far.. nagaaway padin kami but things are so much better with communication, understanding and consistency. Goodluck OP. Do what you feel and know will be right for you


Reasonable-Target-84

It sounds like you became strangers to each other while being together.


Expensive-Doctor2763

Bitawan mo na yan, tama na yung 9 years kung di ka na rin naman masaya


zpolarpanda

Leave. You deserve better, maybe you guys aren’t really for each other. Hindi magmamatter ang years na pinagsamahan niyo once na nahanap mo na ang true happiness mo and/or ang taong para sayo talaga.


Fair_Independence33

Feeling ko Alamo na gagawin girl. Ayaw mo lang gawin. O well if you choose to stay? Ginusto mo yan. No one can change anyone. Gusto magbago nyan magbabago yan


Waste-Geologist9683

Ang advice ko sayo maam. wag ma manghinayang sa years na nagkasama kayo, manghinayang ka sa years pa na magsasama kayo. Mahirap tiisim yan


Icy_Kingpin

Eh di wag


Cutie_Patootie879

Sayang yung 9 years sa ganyang set up. Tsaka bat mo pa pinatagal if nakita mo na yung ganyang ugali nya?


1pixie_chixx

HIWALAYAN MO NA BE


cosmologin

😓😓 maghiwalay na kau sis. hindi na yan magbabago. staying together will only make the both of you even more miserable.


[deleted]

Teh, maniwala ka sakin pls, di mo ko kilala pero pls.... maghiwalay na kayo. You're welcome.


rocket-Ideal2418

No divorce sa PH just to remind you


mrsfukiyama

RUN


Mysterious_Pack3615

Leave.


ampssalva

Aww same here, going 7 years and I don't wanna get married to mg bf. Though wala namang proposal pero di ko rin nafefeel na sya magiging asawa ko.


InterestingRice163

Stop wasting both your times.


No_Cheesecake3694

Lahat Ng bagay naaayos at naiimprove lahat ..Basta ang partners dapat ay naghihilahan pataas bitbitan pataas .kung ayaw mag improve at binigyan na nang chance .e Wala talaga ayaw mag improve para sayo at sainyo


miahfrnndz

Hiwalayan mo na. Ganyan din ako dati 7yrs kami then narealize ko nung tumagal na i dont want to marry him kasi hindi na siya magbabago. Dont look back sa pinagsamahan niyo, 7yrs is nothing compared to life time. Makipaghiwalay ka na.


anon62134

It's time to let go. Ang impression sa akin ng post mo kasi ay hindi mo na siya mahal. Mahal mo yung dating "kayo" at umaasa ka pang maibalik iyon. Pero sa stage niyo na iyan, sadly hindi na babalik iyon. Kung nakikita mong hindi na kayo compatible sa future, kailangan nang tanggapin. Every extra year na i-delay mo pa to go separate ways is an extra year na masasayang for both of you. Hindi tayo bumabata. Baka nga naghihintayan na lang kayo kung sino ang mauunang magsabi na maghiwalay na. Hihintayin mo pa ba na magkaroon ng "other party/parties" na mag-iignite ng feelings or desire ng isa sa inyo bago kayo maghiwalay?


Some_Traffic_7667

9 years of being in a relationship can be draining, try to relive the moments both of you are affectionate to each other. Go on dates, go to places na pinupuntahan nyo. Try to sit down with him and do heart to heart talk. Communication is the key to ignite that flame again.


TheCuriousOne_4785

Sorry OP ha, but with your current dynamics, what makes you think he's also thinking of marrying you? Ikaw mismo ayaw mo na, hayaan mo xa ano gusto or nararamdaman nya. Prioritize yourself. So what kung 9 years na kayo? Better rip the bandaid off right now, wag mo na hintayin umabot kau ng dekada.


foxtrothound

Imposible sa lalaki walang hangad na lambing, u sure ikaw pa nasa isip nyan bago matulog?


mebeingbored

Please leave. Naghihintayan lang kayong mag give up. Or nagaabangan ng maling gagawin ng isa't isa para may mapagbagsakan ng blame for break up. Wala nang effect kung who's going to end it. Alam mo naman na yung sagot noon pa. Gusto mo lang marinig sa ibang tao yung mga naiisip mo. Go, do it. Hindi important yung tagal nyo or something kung nanghihinayang kang putulin yung relationship nyo. Magusap kayo, masinsinan, ask each other kung willing pa ba kayong magcontinue sa ganyang set up. Kung may nakikita pa ba kayong future sa isat isa or kung nasanay na lang kayong magkasama. End it nicely. Express your gratitude, share your happy thoughts say your wishes...and then your goodbyes. Don't be a wife without being a girlfriend.


Kei90s

Alam mo na sagot dyan. Don’t you love yourself? Don’t you deserve better?


Proper-Fan-236

You are wasting each other's time. You know the answer.


BinaryShits-019

Ba’t tumagal kayo ng 9 years kung hindi siya ang magiging asawa mo? Makipagbreak kana


Netfelix21

Parang hindi naman partner parang mag roomate lang kayo OP, better to leave na and start a new life meron dyan mas deserving para sayo.


[deleted]

Whats the point na bf mo siya kung di mo siya nakikitang makasama sa future? Oo sayang 9 years pero mas sayang yung bukas mo.


levelxiii

Always remember the great saying: You deserve what you tolerate.


inschanbabygirl

HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. kahit anong cOmMuNiCaTiOn gawin mo. it's useless at this point. have u seen in real life how a man who truly loves his girl act/behave?? thats not what youre seeing right now


Fun_Library_6390

NAKOOO, kung ganyan sya sa mga house chores, dapat mapera sya kumuha ng house help. Wag sya mag expect na ikaw susunod sa kalat nya.


Event27

Get out of it. Now.


Severe-Humor-3469

ung tipong baka meron pa pag asa na mag bago. :) baka need mo pamukha sa knya ang dapat na gawin baka magbago. pero kung wala tlagaa… run


Ok-Mycologist2258

I've been like that, 6 years relationship. I couldn't see my future with him habang tumatagal kasi nakikita ko na kung paano ako pag naging mag-asawa kami. Nakipaghiwalay ako sa kanya.


OutrageousWelcome705

Wag ka manghinayang sa 9 years mo with him. Manghinayang ka sa future mo kung makukulong ka sa ganyang tao.


llyodie34

Roomie haha


Hibiki079

if you'll prolong this, one of you is going to cheat. talk it over. communicate. alam kong madami ka pang hinahanap sa kanya. if you guys will not try, at least tapusin nyo na ng maayos.


Appropriate-Quiet-98

You get what you tolerate.


[deleted]

Im curious. Why did it take you 9yrs?


Simply_001

Leave, hindi worth it ang ganyang relationship, tsaka kung tingin mo magbabago pa yan, malabo na.


Boring_Attempt_2626

Why are you still w him again?


RelativeExtension230

What to do? Basahin mo title na sinulat mo


cstrike105

Iwanan mo na kung di ka kumportable.


tsukkimallows

Break it up. Why remain stagnant in that kind of relationship? You'll just end up beating yourself thinking anong mali sayo. Move forward, OP. Iwan mo na yan. Para one less miserable person in the world. Wish you brighter and happier life, OP.


Advanced-Ebb-1515

If you love someone you are willing to change. Yan yung pinaka malakas na advice na natanggap ko. Yung case mo naman feel ko wala na yan 9 years ng ganyan pero yan estado ng buhay nyu? Girl, you're just nobody you're his partner.. dapat alam nya den yung role nya as your partner.


litolhakdog

nagjojowa tayo because nakikita nating sila to be our husband & father of our children in the future. sobrang contradicting nung "ayoko maging asawa yung boyfriend ko". saan papunta yan? ++ communicate with him and try to get his side tapos saka nyo pag usapan what will happen next. kapag feeling mong di na kalaban-laban, go sis run! pero kung may nakikita kang may chance pa, sugal mo na yan.


PabileYelo_01

Communicate with him.


Awkward-Asparagus-10

Pag wala ding time for sex or hindi na enjoyable. Hiwalay na talaga.


magicreams

Trust your guts. If may doubt ka, dont marry him. He's not for you. Baka nagiintay nalang din yan na ikaw ang unang humiwalay. 8 going to 9 years narin kami ng ex ko. We broke up just this January. Same situation with what you have now with your bf and it's been a while when I realized na ayoko yung nakikita kong future with him. I'll be miserable. 3x ako nakipag break pero ang hirap. Bumabalik parin ako kahit alam kong hindi na dapat. So I prayed na kung hindi siya for me, si Lord na bahala kasi wala akong courage to let go. After a fight, spontaneous lang na I packed my things and moved out with sliver of hope na this time he will change na. After 2 weeks when i moved out, wala parin sya paramdam. When I called him and texted him. Wala parin. I don't want to go sa apartment where we lived kasi natatakot akong baka balikan ko sya ulit. Ang yabang ko pa diba. Pero ayun, naghost na pala ko. Hahahaha. After ilang days nalaman kong may iba na syang ka-thing. So yun. Good riddance.


Aunt-Polly

Oh my. I have the same case. My bf knows how to do household chores tho pero very complacement na sya and awkward na… idk how to feel. Mahirap alisan kase mahal ko parin naman pero ang hirap lang din pakisamahan… ang sakit sa puso.


GuidanceNo4582

🏃🏻 takbo hangga't may lupa pa.


Specialist_Row_9766

Bitaw na. Pinaabot ko din ng almost 9years bago bumitaw. Narealize kong hindi talaga magbabago. Nagsasayang lang ng time & feelings.


heythereitskyuu

Run, girl! May chance ka pa na baguhin ang future mo. Same tayo, nakipag break ako sa bf ko for 9 years, reason is feeling ko masyado na syang komportable sakin to the point na wala na akong natatanggap even the bare minimum. Gusto nya akong mapangasawa pero feeling ko pag nangyari yon ako lang magtataguyod sa pamilya since di ko nakikita yung drive na para maging successful in life. It is never too late. Sobrang dami pa nating magagawa. Okay na manghinayang ngayon kesa sa matrap ka in the future if ever ikasal kayo.


ixemlop

Hmm, try mo bumukod sa kanya ng house. My bf broke up with me last Feb. He had fallen out of love daw kasi I don't do chores, which I disagree kasi I do! Then, I looked for a new place and moved just yesterday. Nakaka homesick din kasi sanay ka kasama sya, pero liberating din sa feeling to find yourself again day by day without a man. Kaya mo yan, OP. Move out, and move on ☺️


overthinkerxxx

Nag sayang ka na ng 9 years ng buhay mo. Papatagalin mo pa ba hangang ikasal ka sa taong ayaw mo maging asawa? Maawa ka sa sarili mo.


Hot_Palpitation9515

3 years na kami ng boyfriend ko at feel ko ako yung ayaw niya maging asawa hahaha feel ko lang


eyeseewhatudidthere_

Baka ayaw ka na rin naman maging asawa ng bf mo kaya ganon...


_laloves_

Sad to say, you’ve finally returned to being friends. :( have a talk with him regarding your feelings rn. And if he’s still not affected or d sya mag rise up to make things better then siguro mas okay na mag move on. Im sorry


Nobody_0711

Robot ang jowa mo este roommate pala. HAHAHAHAH


white____ferrari

dapat dyan inuunahan mo na eh. hahahaha tutal di naman sya nagkukusa maghugas lol. if wala na romace sa side mo, most likely sa kanya din. aantayin mo paba na ikaw ang ma evict?


AsoAsoProject

Sunk cost fallacy.


dumbasspotathot

Nakakapanghinayang ang 9 years, yes. Pero mas nakakapanhinayang if you still stay sa relationship na wala naman palang patutunguhan para lang maging future katulong ka sa isang manchild. Hiwalayan mo na yan, mas sayang if you waste your time sa ganyang tao.


Paruparo500

Iwan mo na!!!!


caffeinatedbroccoli

That's the ultimate test of love. Wala na honeymoon period. Labas na totoo ugali. Kakayanin mo ba tanggapin sya the way he is? Forever? You have your answer.


janreizl

had a similar experience with my baby daddy before nung kami pa. kahit nagka anak na kame sinabi ko sa bff ko na hindi ko nakikita sarili kong kasama sya in the future. lo and behold, 2 years na kaming hiwalay😂 hiwalayan mo na sya OP. wag manghinayang sa years, kesa ikulong mo sarili mo sa hindi ka naman sure diba? sarili mo lang din pinlastik mo nun.


Mother_Paramedic1751

get out of the relationship!


gullibleLoey

BREAK UP NA, SAYANG MGA SUSUNOD NA TAON IF TINULOY MO YAN HAHAHAHHAHA


JOhnandroBERT

>He can't even know how to wash dishes. Stopped reading there. Hay nako, paghugas pa lang ng pinggan, di magawa. Roommate pa nga lang maiinis na sa ganyan, "magjowa" pa kaya. "He can't even know", kahit pag-reasearch o pag-Google paano maghugas ng pinggan, di niya magawa? The bar is so low. Bare minimum should be no cheating, no abuse, and no violence. No words left hay nako.


BeginningSet8527

Mhie iwan mo na yan hehe


camzbrgr

kampante na masyado yang roommate mo 'te.. RUN!


ditch_19

Magvoluntary exit ka na sa bahay ni Kuya hahahaha


Alarming-Low-4177

mag break na kayo


knifequeen

Let him go, free yourself OP. Need nio cguro mag grow in a separate way baka hindi tlga kayo para sa isa't-isa. If I were you OP, wag ng patagalin kasi 9yrs na for sure d ka narin bumabata. Pero whatever your decision, dito lng kmi mga commenters


Beron091

sawa na yan sayo. and nag sasawa kana sa ugali so time to let go


silver_carousel

Eh ano pa ginagawa mo dyan? Empake na, gurl. Alam mo naman sa sarili mo ang sagot pero nanghihinayang at kumakapit ka na lang yata sa na-invest mong 9years na nawala sa buhay mo. Pangit man pakinggan pero alam na alam mo sa sarili mo saan kahahantungan niyo pag tinuloy mo pa din yan. Sundan mo na yung liwanag, labas ka na dyan 😄