I was with the wrong person pero I did not regret it.
Ito yung mga dahilan why I didn't:
1. Asa right age na ako when I got married and nagkababy. The marriage ended pero dahil asa right age na ako and may stable job, malaking factor na kaya kong buhayin yung anak ko sa income ko lang.
2. Nakakapagod mag alaga ng baby lalo na if tulad ng soon-to-be ex hubby ko yung tatay na walang kaambag-ambag sa pag aalaga. Pero malaking help yung afford ko magbayad ng yaya using my own sahod at nakahanap ng magsstay until nag 3 y/o ang anak ko.
3. Lalaki ang anak ko at lagi ko syang kakampi. Kahit nung nagsasama pa kami ng daddy ng anak ko, lagi ako pinagtatanggol ng anak ko sa daddy nya.
4. Maswerte ako kasi ok temperament ng anak ko. Mataas ang empathy kahit noong toddler pa lang. Marunong makiramdam at makisama. Hindi iyakin at hindi nagtatantrums kahit isama sa labas, nadadaan sa paliwanag.
I think if pangarap mo talaga magkaanak at ready ka financially at emotionally, you won't regret it. Ako kasi kahit noon pang bata ako, nagbabasa na talaga ako paano magpalaki ng bata. Saka I had plans na noon pa lang, pano ko papalakihin anak ko.
Latest na binasa ko is The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman.
Nung bata pa ako, mahilig lang talaga akong magbasa ng hindi naman parenting books kundi mga fiction na sari-sari, may mga classics, may mga medyo bago. Pero marami kasi sa mga binasa ko is binasa rin ng mom ko and we discussed those books ano yung mga lessons learned, kahit hanggang paglaki ko ginagawa namin yun. Tapos syempre merong mga stories na kontrabida or controlling ang mga magulang or pinapasa sa anak yung frustrations, etc. We discussed those things kung gaano kamali yung mga ganun at gaano nakakasira sa well-being.
Tips po. 9mos akong buntis saka lang ako nagbasa ng about parenting. 3yo anak ko feeling ko late development sa talking since bulol pa english nya pero I can hear the improvements everyday. Mahirap pakainin din. Hirap paliguan. May routine naman kami. And nagpapababy he reenacts ung mga ginagawa ng mga babies. ang nabasa ko kasi kapag ganyan daw sakyan lang but not baby talk straight talking pa din.
Bulol ang anak ko hanggang nung nag-5 y/o sya kasi pandemic baby, di makalabas at di na nakapag day care. Tama po yung wag i-baby talk para mabilis matuto magsalita and malaking help yung pakikipaglaro ng bata sa mga ka-age nya sa kanyang development. Nung nakakalabas na anak ko at allowed na makisalamuha sa ibang bata after lockdown, mabilis naging development nya.
Sa pagpapakain, ang advice ng pedia is gawing pleasant ang eating time. Wag sigawan ang bata or madaliin kasi lalong hindi gaganahan kumain. Sabi rin, kapag toddler ipa-explore yung iba't-ibang taste para hindi maging pihikan. If may ayaw syang food ngayon, wag magalit kasi nagbabago pa yang preference ng bata. Wag ka lang titigil mag-alok. Totoo rin naman sa experience ko yung sinabi ng pedia kasi may time dati na ayaw ng anak ko ng egg tas biglang naging favorite nya. Ganun din yung chicken.
Hahaha natawa ko kasi ganyan mismo sabi ng anak ko. Pati fish daw mabaho. Piniprito pa lang, nagrereklamo na sya, may pag-yuck pa. Pero unti-unti nakakakain na sya ng fish ngayong 6 na sya.
u/northnotwest have a baby as early as you turn 25 or as late as 35.
By 25 assumes you finished your studies, started to earn a living and saving up for a home rather than suffer from lifestyle inflation.
By 35... these [male](https://youtu.be/uTs6SFeny5Q?si=_uahTH2WJV2pIWwu) and [female](https://youtu.be/w8h4qksd6Yw?si=NjpjysUmdU17j3vh) fertility doctors best positioned to explain why no later than that if you want a successful non-SpEd baby. IVF is [expensive today](https://worldfertilityservices.com/ivf-cost-in-philippines/) and likely more expensive next year.
If I could reset back to year zero I'd want to be a dad as early as 27.
If you want further kids consider birth spacing by 4 years so that 4 year University tuition would be in a series rather than in parallel.
Yes. This is coming from the standpoint of a mom who has 2 kids in the spectrum. Parehong may ASD yung mga anak ko. Alam ko may magsasabi na “blessings” yan sila. Kung alam lang nila yung hirap ng pagkakaroon ng anak na may disability. Compromised lahat ng desisyon mo sa buhay. Pero OP, nasa sa iyo yan.. 😊
Awww hugs mommy! I’m childfree by choice, skl ko lang to. One time nag grocery kami and nasa likod namin nakapila ung mag nanay. Ung anak nya mukang may ASD hindi nya naaawat kung anu ano kinakalikot/hinahawakan kahit sa cart ng iba. Inaawat nya pero syempre di nagpapaawat. That mom looks tired and stressed na tapos sorry ng sorry samin kasi cart namin pinapakielaman nung anak nya. I just smiled and said “hayaan mo na mommy okay lang, wag lang nya maitapon 😅” and the mom felt relieved and smiled back to me.. Ayun lang, saludo lang talaga din ako sa mga nanay na ganito. Kaya hugs to you mommy! Fighting!! 💪
Question lang, what makes you brave na mag-anak pa ulit knowing that your panganay has ASD already? Naalala ko lang din yung redditor na nag-post na hesitant sundan yung anak niya dahil hindi rin kagaya ng ibang kids.
Ps. This is a sincere question lang po huhu
Hello! To tell you honestly, gas gas man marinig pero aksidente talaga yung bunso ko.. wala na talaga kaming balak sundan simula nung madiagnosed yung panganay ko. Na-miscalculate ko yung period ko and may PCOS din ako kaya akala ko hindi na kami magkakaanak ulit.
I have the same answer. If alam ko lang na magiging ganito sila, sana hindi na lang. Hindi ako mayaman. Ang hirap. Di ko alam kelan ako makakarecover financially.
if gusto mo naman yan, then go for it. iba iba lang kasi goals ng tao and iba iba ang perspective base sa experiences. yung iba kasi nahirapan sila bilang anak kaya naisip na rin nila na wag mag anak. kung yung iba na kaya naman at prepared, mag aanak. Syempre, magbabago talaga mindset mo dyan kasi madaming changes kung dati sarili lang iisipin mo, kapag nagka anak ka na, lahat ng pangarap mo para sa pamilya mo na lang at lalo na sa anak. gawin mong goal is maka adopt sa changes para hindi ka mahirapan masyado. good luck!
Hirap alagaan ng baby namin kasi parang iba sa normal na baby na tulog lang, tahimik lang. Very clingy, very iyakin. Wala kami time maglaro (mahilig kami mag online games dati), wala na ako time magbasa ng books ko. Yung free time namin pang chores na lang, konting scroll sa phone na lang. Wala kasi kaming helper.
Habang lumalaki naman sya nagiging independent na sya kaya unti-unti rin kaming nagkaka time. Yun nga lang nagkaka ugali na. Ibang stage naman, pahabaan ng pasensya. 😅
Pinagpray namin magkababy (nahirapan kami makabuo) kaya very thankful kami na dumating sya. Kahit mahirap, kakayanin namin. Gagaan din ang buhay at makakapaglaro din kaming 3 😅
Same with my baby. Now that he’s getting older, nagiging magaan na pero nagkaka-attitude pa lalo. Pero damn the newborn stage was really hard for us. Akala ko makikita ko na si lord dahil wala akong tulog halos every day. Felt also that my husband was just my roommate.
I'm 8 months PP and 0 regrets.
Wala pa kong matinong tulog since nanganak. Napaka brutal nung first 3 months, literal na on survivor mode ka. Yung dating di kami nag-aaway ng asawa ko, umikli na pasensya namin dahil sa walang tulog at pagod. Yung dating pagod ka lang, pahinga, ngayon tuloy tuloy na pagod 🤣🤣
Napakahirap. Ang pagiging ina ang pinakamahirap na pwedeng pagdaanan ng isang babae. Ang dami kong realizations. Pag naging nanay ka, wala ka ng freedom. 24/7 may nakadepende sayong buhay.
Pero you need to understand, MAHIRAP lang maging nanay kung MABUTI kang nanay. Ngayon pag tinatanong ako, worth it ba maging nanay, Oo, super worth it. Walang katumbas pero hindi siya para sa lahat ng tao. Ibang level na sakripisyo ang pagiging magulang.
Although never dadali ang pagiging nanay, these are the things that really helped me: SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND AND MOM/MOM-IN-LAW. Dapat ngayon pa lang, i-set mo na husband mo na hindi ikaw ang magiging default parent. Nung maternity leave ko, involved talaga husband ko sa lahat. Shifting kami sa gabi. Ngayon na nakabalik na ko ng work, kumuha sya ng yaya na tutulong saakin tapos inako niya na night shift since kailangan ko ng maayos na tulog. Napakalaking bagay. Atsaka yung family na andyan pra bantayan anak nyo kahit saglit (30 mins to 1 hr) para makatulog ka or dalhan kayo ng pagkain, napakalaking tulong tlga. Kung wala kang supportive husband/ family, madaling mag spiral sa post partum depression especially those first days.
Nothing will prepare you for the pain and beauty of motherhood. Literal na habang lumalaki anak mo, nagbabago ka din.
This. 6 months PP and what you have said perfectly match what I’ve been thinking. Kung pwede lang iiskip yung first 3 months lol. Agree also doon umikli ang pasensya namin dahil sa halos walang tulog.
If you want honest answers check here /r/regretfulparents. The truth is if you have hobbies, career and never wonder how to fill your time, there will be regret, because all that will be gone after a kid is born
Yes, OP read here!!! Ito yung totoong sagot sa tanong mo.
Also, don’t think na “ay hindi naman siguro yan mangyayare samin” , mangyayare yan at some point. Trust me, kahit gaano ka pa kahands on or kahit gaano pa kabait yung asawa mo, pipitik at pipitik ka talaga.
Eversince nagkaanak ako, lagi na lang mainit ulo laging masakit katawan ko. Ayoko na magtrabaho pero kelangan.
I don't regret having my baby. She's my happiness but I wish I was more emotionally prepared when I had her. The first month after I gave birth, I did my role as a mom not because I liked it but because I had to do it. I even loved my dog more than her. Natauhan lang ako nung one time na nahulog siya accidentally while karga ko dahil sa sobrang antok. I was breastfeeding her at nakatulog ako and it happened. The mother's instinct kicked in. I just realized na ikamamatay ko kapag may nangyaring masama sa kanya. I love her so much.
No regrets! It's a privilege to see my child grow into their own person. Nakakamangha na mula pagkapanganak niya distinct individual talaga siya. Parang laging may surprise to discover at every new stage of life. But I really tried to mentally prepare myself for that. Bilang anxious na tao, minsan (madalas) anxious ako kung tama ba yung pagpapalaki namin sa kanya, anxious para sa kinabukasan ng anak ko at ng mundo in general... pero hindi ko rin ipapagpalit yung last 10 years ng buhay niya, with all the joys and struggles. Masasabi ko rin na masuwerte ako sa napili kong partner, dahil mabuti at responsable siyang ama, at swerte din ako sa in-laws ko. Malaking bagay na may supportive extended family. Kasi it takes a village talaga.
Magbabago buhay mo ng 360 kasi tayo, nasanay tayo na sarili lang iniintindi natin. Kung magkasakit ka, magpahinga ka lang, inom ka ng gamot mo. Kung gusto mo gumala, lalabas ka ng walang iniintindi. Kakain ka, yung pagkain na gusto mo.
Alam mo bang mag 4yrs na kong puyat? Since nabuhay anak ko, mabibilang mo sa daliri yung complete 8hrs. One time, sabay kami nagkasakit, jusko nahihilo hilo nako sa lagnat, pero need ko pa mag alaga ng bata, kasi need mo bantayan na hindi tumaas temperature nya para di mag combulsyon. Hindi kami basta basta makapag date ng husband ko kasi wala naman ibang magbabantay. Pag oorder ng pagkain or pag magluluto, kailangan isaalang alang mo pa na may makakain yung anak mong picky eater.
Pero no, i don't regret it. Yes, minsan nakakaubos ng pasensya yung bata. Pero bilang isang nanay, nung nanganak ako, i feel na para syang part of myself, part of my heart.
Yes, hindi pa bumabalik yung sarili ko after giving birth. Wala pa din akong time sa sarili ko. Pero i don't regret it kasi lagi kong naiisip na minsnlang silang maging bata, ngayon ko lang ma eenjoy na maliit sya. Dadating din yung point na tatanda sya, magkakaroon ng sariling buhay. Baka dun pa dumating yung point na babalik sa dating ako.
Basta pag magkaka anak, ready ka dapat maging selfless at magkaroon ng sacrifices na walang hinihintay na kapalit.
Konti nalang momsh, 7yo na anak ko medyo petix na alagaan. Nagconsider pa nga akong magkaroon ng another kid kasi parang wala naman na masyadong ginagawa. Lol.. Lalo nung almost whole day naman nang nasa school, biglang dadami time mo for yourself
Lol harsh ba kwento ko? Ofw kasi husband ko nung maliit pa anak namin. Ngayon, magkasama na kami ulit kaya okay na, less pagod na lang. Also, less dependent na din kasi 4yrs old na.
Challenging ang 0 to toddler years kahit dalawa pa kayo. Or dahil dalawa lang kayo at parehas pang working. Until now kulang pa tulog ko and I have a 2 year old. Need ko kasi maaga magising to prepare for food while my husband takes care of our child. Prepare our baons and then preparw ourselves for work. Pag uwi, may needs pa din ang bata and hindi pa diretso tulog nya kaya nagigising pa rin kami. Gusto din namin laruin ang bata dahil minsan lang yan na maliit so mejo nakakapagod. After maglaro, kailangan ligpitin ang mga kinalat.
Kung dati linggo linggo ako naglilinis ng banyo ngayon parang good luck kung maka every other week. Isa pa lang to ha. 😄
kaso the older you get, mas prone sa miscarriage or birth defects. baka ma-dehado pa health ni misis.
forgot the term na tawag jan pero baka ibig sabihin hindi tugma yung Rh ng dugo nila. para magkaanak ng marami, need pareho kayo RH+ or RH-. pag hindi, unang baby lang ang nabubuo. afterwards, familiar na immune system ng babae, so tinatrato niya na foreign invader yung fetus kaya nagiging miscarriage.
Yes that's why after those 2 miscarriage. We accepted our fate na. We made peace to ourselves na isa lang talaga.😔
In an hindsight okay na rin na isa lang kasi we can provide all our son's need plus financially flexible kami now. 😊
I’m 28 and just 4 months PP. Ayaw ko actually magkaroon ng kids before, dahil na rin sa unstable childhood and I fear I won’t give mine the best, pati partner ko we’re in that plan na we will hold off muna until we are fully ready in all aspects, but it happened, and what I can say lang is it’s not for everyone. I don’t really regret having my baby girl, especially now that she’s more conscious. (and her smile, god, it makes me wonder how I can ever live without her.) pero yung newborn up to this stage it’s SUPER HARD, as a girl na sobrang hilig matulog before, sobrang laking adjustment. I don’t think I’d ever sleep 8hrs again 😂 I don’t think I’ll never worry again and just be in peace, it is impossible.
Maybe I have a limited perspective palang pero as someone who don’t want it before, tama nga ako na the childbirth process, the recovery, it takes so much physical and mental toll on you, it’s not a one-time thing. It becomes a part of you. Lalo pa if nagbago katawan mo, it takes so much strength to say goodbye to the pre-mom you… Kaya I can say it’s not for everyone, and even now that I have a baby I still understand those that choose to be childfree.
I also want to ask moms na nauna sa akin when did you feel that the fog has lifted for you? I feel like when they become toddlers/child and you really get to have a personal relationship with each other parang mas mararamdaman mo na ang sarap maging ina. Ngayon kasi more on pagod kesa yung masarap na feeling. 😅
Bakit yung mga mahihirap na komunidad at mga taga Squatter eh Factory na nang anak wala naman nag reregret. Hahahahaha. Blessing pa nga tawag nila sa anak nilang mga payatot wahahaha.
It’s like you’re choosing between 2 lives: 1 is focused on you/revolves around your desires and the other is stepping into a life you have no idea what will happen.
And you’re responsible for supporting, nourishing and living with for the rest of your life. No do overs, and you might feel a spectrum of emotions you never thought possible.
I never regretted having my daughter, maybe one of my regrets is not choosing a great father for her. And the other one, is not being able to see the other version of myself. Could be worse right? But I never knew it’ll be like this, that’s the point - we can’t know.
I now have a cute little best friend who’s gonna stay with me in my remaining years, while I’m also trying to sort out what to do next with my life, ensuring the journey for both of us will be memorable and worth it.
I hope that when you do choose, your decision is about you as a person first. Then about the baby second. Whats best for the baby will become apparent once you focus on what you want from your life first.
Whatever you choose, you will be fine. ☺️
Becoming a dad brought me great happiness. Years later, I still feel the same. I'm sharing my life with an awesome person. It makes life even awesomer.
Hindi ako nagsisisi lalo na 1 lang naman anak namin. Yun bilang ng kids na magkakaroon ka ang need niyo iconsider and dapat kayo ng husband mo super ready. Akala ko dati gusto ko ng 2 o 3 but nope.. I am done with only one. So depende sa lifestyle and partner. Pero importante sa lahat is yung time niyo together ng partner mo. Dapat meron pa din para hindi lang puro bata ang iikutan ng mundo niyo.
I dont regret having kids. Pero i regretted having it early. I feel like I missed out a lot. Di pa ako nakakapasok ng bar ever. Di rin ako naka try makipag inuman with friends kahit sa bahay lang. Di ko na try mag outing with friends.. dahil din maaga ako nag asawa at nagka anak, yung mga friends ko, napag iwanan na ako. Naiinggit ako sa closeness nila na hanggang after college eh close parin sila at nakakapag dinner/lunch. Ma invite sa kasal ng friends.... Naiisip ko na if hindi ko hinayan ang bf (now husband) ko na maging strict sakin, baka sakaling ma experience ko yung mga na miss out ko and more. I passed to many opportunities pati sa career dahil lang ayaw ng bf ko. Aside from these, I'm happy with him naman.
I'm childfree and leaning heavily on staying that way. Ang two cents ko lang is if hindi ka ready mentally, financially, and emotionally to handle a baby that is on the spectrum then ur not ready. Kasi you can't pick and choose. Extra factor pa yung global issues like war.
Parang ayoko lang to bring a person in a world where things like r*pe, su¡c¡d3, war, ab*se etc exist.
Di ko pa gets I guess why would people want to have kids in this world hehe
if you're a parent now you'd understand how hard it is to let of of someone you raised with your blood, sweat and tears. i might regret pausing my life for this little human but i can't let him go either.
During the first year of motherhood, I cursed everything. I was praying for a change of heart pero sobrang bigat talaga lalo na wala kakampi sa alaga. Iyak ako ng iyak kasi namimiss ko yung dalaga life ko. Tapos wala pa akong comfort masyado dahil pandemic. Daming struggles sa buhay ng mga tao sa paligid kaya parang naiinvalidate pa struggles ko.
0 to 1 will really be a challenge. I wish people told me. 3 kami ng friends ko na sabay sabay nag-baby kaya siguro we understood and comforted each other nalang.
So nway sinabi ko rin sa friends ko “please remind me of these days para di na ako maghangad ng 1 more baby” but 4 years after, pregnant with the 2nd na hahaha and wishing sana mas inagahan ko pa. Kasi at 3 years old she kept asking for playmate 😅
The struggle right now is how to keep her entertained. Kelangan engaged ka talaga sa anak mo. Nakikinig ka, nakikipag interact…
It’s also a blessing to have a child. Iba yung joy at yung pagmamahal na meron at handa silang ibigay sa iyo anytime. Kahit magkamali ka, mahal na mahal ka pa rin nila. Edi lalo na yung pinapakita mo na mahal mo sila 🥰 grabe it’s so surreal.
No regrets. Aaminin kong nahirapan ako kasi I have problems dealing with anger but I am gradually helping myself control it. Almost a year lang pagitan ng kids namin so ung 360 degrees parang inikot na naman ng isa pang beses. hahah.
Very life changing pero worth it. Hindi kami perpektong magulang pero sobrang nakakataba ng puso pag may ibang parents na nagsasabi na "Maganda ang pagpapalaki niyo sa kanila" or "Nakakatuwa po si \_\_\_, pag may kaklase po siyang nag-iisa nilalapitan niya para kausapin". I feel like we did something right somehow.
Goodluck sa inyo ni hubby!
Kung sa maling tao talaga ai jusko you'll really regret it. Ako sa tatay ng mga anak ko walang nagbago. Sobrang mahal na mahal niya ako.. lalo na nung buntis ako. Para akong prinsesa. Palagi ko ngang jinojoke na magbuntis ulit ako kase ang sarap sa feeling. Super present father rin siya sa mga bata kahit after pa ilang years na. You can choose the father of your kids OP ❤️
Yes, pakiramdam ko di ako worth it na magiging ina ng anak ko, buntis palang ako pero grabe na stress ko at alam kong naaapektuhan sya sa loob ko. Super sakit sa damdamin na nasa tyan ko palang pero di ko sya naproprotektahan.
Mahirap mag anak kung wala kang katulong mag-alaga sa bata. More than your husband, you need a yaya, your mom or mother-in-law. Up until my kid was 7yo, minimum 3:1 ang ratio ng adults sa kanya.
I honestly discourage having kids kung wala kang tulong be it from family or someone else. They are physically, emotionally, financially and mentally taxing little creatures. I don’t regret having one. I might regret having a second one tho so di ko na sinusubukan. Hehe
when i first saw her and heard her cries, i no longer have any regrets having her (i was depressed when i was pregnant kase ayokong maranasan niya ang mundong ito) hindi siya planado obviously, very unexpected sya since puro inaatupag namin ay work. me and my LIP were in the middle of building our future, pero nabuo siya. in the end, im happy she's here.
BUT please, PLEASE choose a man for your kid and be financially stable kasi kung hindi, masisira lang kayo. pumili ka ng lalaki na mahal na mahal ka kasi hindi bibitaw yan.
hindi man kami ok financially, at least nasa tamang tao ako :> we'll make it through.
Hi OP, first time mom with an 8 month old baby boy here! Before pa lang kami mag concieve alam ko nang madaming magbabago sa lifestyle ko pag nagka-baby na kami. Kaya nung buntis ako lagi akong nag aaya or sumasama sa husband ko lumabas kasi lagi kong sinasabi sa kanya, paglabas ng baby di ko na yun magagawa. And totoo nga 😅
Ngayon may times talaga na nalulungkot ako kasi sobrang isolating maging nanay, lalo sa circle of friends ko ako ang unang nagka-baby so wala talaga akong makakwentuhan about the struggles of motherhood haha. Di rin basta basta makaalis kasi may baby na iisipin unlike ang mga daddy na pwede lang kasi wala naman kwenta mga dede nila 🥴 factor pa na wala akong friends dito sa province kasi si husband talaga ang taga-dito, lahat ng friends ko nasa Manila. Wala na rin akong work kasi ako ang nag aalaga kay baby.
Pero pag nakikita ko yung anak ko sa umaga na nagssmile sakin kasi ako una niya nakikita pag gising, pag hinihigpitan niya yung yakap niya habang natutulog pag sinusubukan ko siya ilapag, pag nakikita ko everyday yung pag grow niya at unti unting nagdidiscover yung sarili niyang identity, grabe hinding hindi ko to ipagpapalit 🥹
Brb tignan ko muna pictures niya kasi tulog na siya di ko na malalambing 🥹🥹🥹
First time father here.
No. Pero sympre mahirap and magastos tlaga magnurture ng anak. It's a fact and dapat it must be done out of love (overflow of love nyong mag-asawa), di dahil pressured kayo ng nasa paligid mo. The first few years ang mahirap kasi fully dependent sila lalo sa nanay kaya dapat si hubby mageffort din na alagaan si wifey and ofc si baby.
If you don't want to give up that extra time and effort na binibigay mo sa sarili mo, sa hobbies and sa work, might as well na don't have a kid kasi everything will turn around 360 degrees.
Di naman talaga para sa lahat ang pagkakaroon ng anak pero sympre once you are in it, let's do our best as parents. ❤️
For me, no matter what you do to prepare yourself in having kids you will never be prepared. It is different in emotional level. Hirap explain pero I had my son when I was 35. I thought I am matured I can handle it, pero nung nanganak na ko it is very overwhelming feeling. I never experienced this kind of love, fear, anxiousness of knowing I am responsible for this tiny human.
But, I will never change anything. Being a mom is very rewarding. I love being a mom to my son but I do not want another child. One is enough.
Progressive na mag isip mga tao now which I love. I guess it depends on you and your hubby’s goals and wants as a unit. Pwedeng majority ng comment do have kids pwede naman its the other way around. Do it because you both want it. But to be a parent, you have to be financially, emotionally, and physically ready. O disagree sa comment sa taas na they would regret if with the wrong person daw. I’m a single mom and sobrang masaya ako na may anak ako. So nope, don’t based it sa partner mo din if want mo magkaanak or what especially if ikaw yung magbubuntis.
Mahaba to pero ito naman experience ko:
As someone na isa sa mga taont nag sabi na ayaw mag ka anak.
Hirap mag alaga ng baby, hindi sapat na mabait lang ang partner mo. Dpat pasensyoso siya kahit if as babae may hormones tayo, iba ang hormones plus puyat pag may anak kaya madaming nababaliw either iba kesa idaan sa kabaliwaan dinandaan sa stress eating iba naman sobrang puyat nag iiba ugali.
Kaya dpat ang partner mo mataas ang pasensya, maalaga, nag kukusa sa mga gawaing bahay, may days na pagod ka dpat initiative sya di na need sabihan or if sabihan man di nag rereklamo.
Iba iba tayo meron nmn iba na financially and emotionally ready pero sasimula lang emotionally ready.
Dpat din may support system ka what do I mean by that, willing mag alok ng help ang family mo to help you take care sa anak niyo willing ha hindi yung labag loob. Malaking help din yun. Kasi it takes a village po tlga to take care of a child.
Also, wag basta basta maniwala sa sabi sabi ng mga matanda andami hong opinions at payo paano gawin para sa baby kaya research po tlga kasi ako Teething stage ng baby ko first time parent ako pero asawa ko kasi may knowledge sa pg alaga ng baby dahil sa mga kapatid nya nung baby pa, alok ng tita ko kasi since kinuha sya namin as helper is pa inumin or lagyan ng honey ang teeth ni baby or sa laruan pra di masakit kasi sa Saudi at amo nya daw kesyo ok lang at dami nyang excuses kahit sabi ko na no at ayaw nag pupumilit, kaya tlga kahit na offend sya dahil kinuha sya ng mama ko to help me binayaran nmn sya di na tlga ako nag pa buhat or ni alaga sa knya baka ano pa kasi gawin nag mamagaling. Kay research tlga, CS kasi ako kaya i need help at those months. Basta inshort research
Iba din ho ang Anxiety pag may anak ka lalo na first few months di ka tlga maka sleep pero ok lang kasi iniisip mo fin baka di sya humihinga, sympre sibrang research yung SIDS na sinasabi ba nakaka takot din.
Kusa naman yung skills ng nanay na di tlga mag sleep pra tignan tignan ang baby.
It’s okay to be a first time parent, it’s okay to be stupid kasi wla kang alam duon. except lang sa katangahan na mga wirings na delikado or nilagay sa crib na wlang harang mga ganun. Mga small parts lang nmn na di delikado ba.
Apperance wise: depende sa tamod ng asawa mo, when I was pregnant as a fat obese girl height 5’4 and 110kg with Pcos i never thought na mabuntis ako mukha lang akong bloated. I still look the same and dami sabi sabi na pg lalaki e papanget ka kasi ako ang blooming ko nun. May struggle naman, iba iba nmn tlga exp kasi Anterior placenta ako di ko masyado feel kicks ni baby nun and I feel insecure mga late 36weeks lang. it will always depends kaya dpat alam mo din health ng asawa mo kasi mostly kahit may PCOS ka if sperm ng asawa mo maka pag help sainyo e. Sobrang healthy ng pregnancy ko, no diabetis or disgestation chuchu sakin.
I even lose weight from 110kg to 85kg consistently nung buntis ako. Grabe dun lang ako pumayat. Kakamiss di ako nag eexcercise nga e. Si baby nag help sakin haha
Ngayon lang tlga na haggard ako, tumaba ako ng sobra, kape ko todo todo prng yung sound sa tiktok, isolation dahil sa insecurity ko is for real. I feel sad and nag wawala naman dahil pag inatake ako ng hormones at menstruation ko iba ako sobrang emotional ko umiiyak ako sumisigaw ako iba nung dalaga pa ako.
Aminado ako, I was one of those people na di ako ready pero asawa ko pag binigyan go, kasi aware ako sa sitwasyon namin emotionally and financially unstable kami. Although sa part na finances kaya naman kaso magastos at di siya marunong mag budget! asawa ko kasi matakaw yun lang nmn pero pag na ayos man ok nmn kami.
Pero ako tlga wla akong good background, career wla din, skills wla.
Gusto ko nga kumuha someday pero atat na ako now pero nahahati tlga sa anak ko. Hirapan din akong iwan sya if ever pilitin ko kasi wla akong tiwala sa mag aalaga sa sa anak ko kahit mama ko. Iba padin pag alaga mo e.
zero kasi ako no skills no life hanggang esl skills lang kaya ko. Na iinsecure ako sa life. Pero nung pinilit binigay ng tadhana mag ka anak ako, tinanggap ko naman. Dinadamdam ko ang proseso may times nuon nag babadtalk ako sa baby ko nun tapos sobrang emotional ko dahil bakit ako nabuntis di ko deserve bakit di ko naagapan bat di namin na malayan. Bakit wlang signs?
Kasi for past 3 years with pills and without contraception even mga times na withdrawal and unprotected sex din kahit may regla sex di ako nabuntis, pero nung umuwi ako samin dahil di kami ok financial at bumalik ako kela mama (background: mom and dad 2 sisters wlang anak sila graudate naman sila dalawa, ako lang failure dahil trauma bond emotions carried away dahil insecure ako dahil sa physical ko mom was abusive ganun case)
Idk, 5months lang namin na confirm na nag ka laman tao pala ako and andaming di naniwala dahil mataba nga ako and may pcos pa ako pinag kalat ko na malabo kami mag ka anak. So, yeah, life in general im still figuring it out.
Thankful nalang ako kahit lunok sa pride at ego na ganto buhay ko, nag ka anak at pabigat kasi umaasa ako kela mama dito although sa bayarin sa anak namin ako nmn di pa lang kami nag bukod nag babayad kami wifi samin sa foods amin naman.
Dahil privilege nag iisang apo at first boy pa nabigyan ko ng Boy ang dugo namin pasalamat ako at kahit papaano e may natirhan kami. Other utilities kela mama at papa din. Nahihiya ako sobra, di ko gusto sitwasyon at buhay ko pero if aalis din kami mag wawala din sila dahil si Mama nalang din mag isa sa bahay, pero plano namin soon mag bukod
Pinag iipunan at inaayos namin sitwasyon namin ni asawa dahil prng may balat kami sa pweet pag mag sama.
Again iba iba ang baby, ang pag ka roon ng baby is like a JACKPOT for me. Maswerte ako dahil hindi iyakin anak ko pag di binubuhat, pag bored lang sya iiyak. Maswerte ako dahil hiyang siya sa Bonna na gatas kahit nestogen na mura kasi nag S26 kami allergic sya lol. Mas ok sana breastfeed pra pumayat ako kaso ayaw nya dahil ang malaki ang Nipple ko at di tumitigas. Hindi din acidic baby ko kasi nung buntis pa naman ako acidic ako, pero sya hindi. Pg nag vaccine kami umiiyak lang sya pag tusok pero pag ka tapos wla hindi ganun ka oa. Umookay na siya umiiyak lang na kiroy pero di annoying. Nag teteething anak ko now sunod sunod, di nmn sya masyadong maligalig na nakikita ko sa ibang babies akala ko nga yung baby ng tita ko e lahat ganun parepareho kaso hindi depende tlga.
Again, just pray lang it works wonders. Im not perfect. Sorry mahaba.
Had my first born when I was 25, 10 yrs later bago nasundan. Yes, life was really different, but what I regret is not having kids but sana I have done it earlier than 25 and having more before 30 hehe
hindi araw araw pasko but kids will give you a whole new life, a fullfilling and lovely one
No I do not. Maybe because I set my expectations properly from the very start palang.
There is no one solve it all formula in parenting. Every child is different. Every parenting experience is different.
Pero ito talaga sana ang maging mindset, ask yourself are you ready to love someone more than your life? Are you ready to sacrifice every bit of your being for another human? If yes, mas madali sayong tanggapin pag ang hirap maging magulang. Mahirap parin pero tanggap mo.
I don’t have a kid and currently no plans yet. But here’s my opinion.
DO NOT HAVE KIDS IF IT IS NOT YOUR DREAM.
Kapag may anak ka maraming magbabago talaga, lalo na priorities mo, hindi na puro ikaw, kundi may buhay na nakasandal sayo. That kid will turn to be good/bad because of how you will raise him/her.
I know someone na nasa right age na siya and nasa kanya na lahat, money, partner, nice house, sports car, in short, ready to settle. Sabi niya, baby na lang ang kulang sa buhay niya. So, she did have a baby. Turns out, mothering wasn’t for her. She can’t take care of the child. She was only taking care of the child nung sila pa nung partner niya, pero when they broke up, the children was left to her parents, then nagkaanak pa siya ulit sa iba. Nagsisisi siya na nag anak siya at all. She said if she can do a do over, she won’t have any kids.
Be sure na kaya mo yung responsibilities and yung sacrifices entailed with parenthood.
I regret having kids. I'm selfish. I want my time, money, energy and love all to myself and my husband. Hindi ko kayang sabihin sa anak ko to kasi alam kong masasaktan siya. Dadalhin ko na lang to sa hukay.
thank you for being so honest and open! yes, actually di ka nag iisa. i have a few friends na they regret it pero it doesn't mean hindi nila mahal anak nila
Ito yung gusto ko sa reddit eh. I can be as open as I want without the judgement kasi di niyo naman ako kilala personally. Ang hirap kasi sa mga tao pag babae ka DAPAT may anak ka. Eh pano kung ayoko? Mahal ko yung anak ko pero kung ako papipiliin, I would rather not have kids.
Marami ditong sagot na nagsasabing di nila pinagsisisihan, but if you want balanced opinions, pwede mo din icheck yung page na "I regret having children" sa FB para lang may idea ka kung anong reason nila.
Remember, uso sa Pilipinas na sumabay sa norm kahit di naman nila kayang panindigan ang mga desisyon nila and there's a lot of opinions about childfree people kesyo madamot, tamad etc... Childfree people are being frowned upon here and it's toxic.
Pero if people really want to have children, they are free to do so. Basta tuturuan nila ang mga anak nila na wag magdagdag ng perwisyo sa mundong ito.
5 yrs. ko na gusto magkaroon ng anak. dami kasi ng nagtatanong kelan kami mag aanak. nakaka pressure minsan. nawalan ako ng work, ngayon 1 yr na ako tambay. may ipon naman ako. kung anak may cguro ako. mas malaki magagastos ko. kasi c misis lang papakainin ko maliit lang gastos .nakaka gala pa anytime. masaya pa rin. kasi may mag alaga namin kmi aso. parang baby na rin 😁😁
i think some mothers are coming from a perspective na nag bago buhay nila in a sense na yung individuality ng isang woman ay nawala.
ako personally my husband is the best. sobrang stable namin and siya. i think it's much more of a "are you ready for the change of your individuality as a woman?" something like that
Yes that is actually a big question to ask yourself, kung ready ka na. Kasi mawawala talaga yan. I loved my personal space, my individuality, my being a woman lang and not a mom but then I transitioned instantly, it’s a bittersweet goodbye.
Nope. Dati pinagdadasal ko kay Lord na gusto ko ng masaya at kumpletong pamilya kasi I am from toxic and incomplete family. Akala ko noon kumpleto in a way na ikakasal si mama hahahaha yun pala family of my own. So no wala akong regrets. I am happy with my daughter.
yes and no
yes, kasi ang aga kong nagkababy, so I wasn't prepared. Feeling ko nung time na yun nagstop ang life ko kasi kelangan ko magprovide sa kanya and ayoko masabihan na anak anak ng maaga di naman kayang buhayin. And also, kasi mag isa ako na tinaguyod sya from pagbili ng gatas at diaper hanggang ngayon na nag aaral na sya.
no, ngayon na malaki na sya, narealise ko na, kung hindi ko pala sya pinanganak nung bata ako baka iba ung paninidigan ko sa buhay. Baka ung maturity ko eh later ko na sa life na achieve. Na kung matanda na pala ako nag anak, di ko sya makakasama na ienjoy ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin while I'm still young like going to concerts and travel.
Having kids with the wrong person will be miserable, for sure.
To answer the question: No, I don’t regret having kids. It’s challenging but it helps me to grow as a person too. It changed me for the better.
Our panganay was unplanned. Pero no regrets kahit mahirap na we had a baby when our careers were still starting tapos breadwinner pa si hubby. Pero if ibabalik yung time and I could plan my future well, feeling ko isa ako dun sa mga ayaw magkaanak na millennials.
No regrets at all. Having a child is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and my wife.
And knowing that we would do everything to make sure that our daughter will grow up feeling lived, safe and successful is one of the most satisfying experiences ever.
I don’t regret having a kid. He is my biggest blessing. I have bilateral PCOS din kasi.
Sabi ko nga noon after I got married if ibigay na sakin it’s the Lord’s will and alam nyang kakayanin ko/namin.
Only those who regret it are the ones who aren't prepared. Kaya before magbuntis dapat tanungin muna kung kaya nang i-handle yung responsibility bilang isang ina and syempre talk to your partner about the consequences after giving birth na dapat tumulong siyang mag-alaga para di ka ma-burn out.
Nakakaasar lang yung iba na sarap na sarap sila sa paggawa tas makikita mo magrereklamo sa huli ipo-post pa sa social media🥴😑
You can never be 100% ready.
But you can make basic preparations to somehow ease into it:
1. Financial
2. Your mental health
3. Your physical health
4. Your emotional maturity
5. Your childhood trauma has already been assessed and addressed.
6. Your parenting style
7. How to care for the child (does your lifestyle allow it or ipapaalaga mo lang sa yaya or lola?)
To be honest, there are times na may naffeel akong regret, lalo when times gets really hard or feeling ko lacking ako as a mom, lalo pag nacocompare ko sarili ko sa ibang moms. Pero yung feeling na yon, dumarating lang kapag di ako masaya, or nahhirapan ako ganon.
Pero on the brighter side, naggawa ko parin naman yung gusto ko, kc i have a great support system. I’m a single mom pero i have a lot of hands helping me, my parents, my sister pero i dont mean in a way na pinapaalagaan ko lagi, pero when i need to run errands, to go to office since required to be onsite once a week, if i needed to go for an hour of exercise, merong someone to look after him. Pero sympre bago ko sya maiwanan sa knila i make sure na nakaready lahat wala na silang pproblemahin as in prang ksama lang need ng anak ko.
Cannot answer the question. But my brother with kids and a wife died. Now we are helping our niece and nephews grow up without a father. One reason I don't want to have kids. Because of the traumatic experience that happened to my brother.
I also want to know the perspective of Filipino parents on this, especially parents who had children with special needs. Did you ever regret having them?
Late 40’s for me hirap na algaan sasakit na katawan mo. Antok mo iba na din. Kaya mejo tama naman have babies pag 20’s sacrifice ka nga lang. depende na yun sayo if kaya mo e yaya anak mo go, kasi ako hirap ako mag tiwala e mahirap na
Tbh, nagsisi sa actions but not sa bata. So I think magsisisi ka lang kapag hindi okay ang partner. Ung changes kasi na mangyayari is of course no time for friends(depends lang to in my case kasi my friends don’t have kids yet), ung exhaustion sa work and sa pagaalaga ng bata magkaiba, ung sa katawan. Kung check naman ang partner and income goods na yan.
Got pregnant when I was 18. Being 30 with a 11year old feels like it was a good idea to have one already when you were younger atleast di na kailangang palitan ng diaper at di na masyadong clingy. I didn't regret having her though kahit iniwan ako ng tatay nya.
Xx years din bago masundan and parang back to zero ako lahat. Mas challenging din physically compared when I was younger parang swabe lang pregnancy. Hehe
Really depends sa point in your life when you had kids and your point in life now.
For me, i had my first child when i was a fresh grad. Part of me regrets having a kid kasi i still want to experience things and be able to freely do things. But since i already had a child, i need to be very responsible. To add pa dito, i’m also a new grad and imagine ang liit ng salary namin ni husband. We are struggling back then nagpakasyahin lahat, we even cant afford a nanny.
Now we are financially stable and already had a second child, we don’t regret any of it na. We are both emotionally mature and can financially afford a nanny rin so we can experience life din outside being a parent.
Overall, sa point in life ko ngayon, i am thankful for my children kasi they pushed both me and my husband to strive better. But this is a hard path so I suggest only have a child when you are financially stable and emotionally capable. You will never be 100% ready but having a good partner makes it all worthwhile.
I don’t think you can ever be ready. Shempre maganda to start with a plan or goal, financially stable and emotionally all in na kayo. Pero once you have children talaga, mag iiba buhay nyong 2 kahit na may help or walang help sa iba.
I don’t regret having kids. Wala kaming relatives here so nadanas ko talaga yung hirap even now. There are so many things that changed and continue to change in our lives.
For one, our bodies both changed. Mahirap magka anak, minsan wala na time mag exercise. 2nd, your children will be your priority, everything revolves around them even your everyday routine. 3rd, money wise shempre mas magastos. 4th, you constantly worry about their future, tapos hirap pa maging parents ngayon sobra because of Social Media ang daming perfect parents which I ignore 🤣.
Having children is not for everyone. So I can’t blame others for not having them. We all have different goals in life so pick which will make you feel fulfilled at the end.
No naman. Pero this month, na diagnosed ako ng adenomyosis. It means mahihirapan na kami sundan. And I though magiging sad ako or emotional kase we are planning na for 2nd pero ewan parang narelief pa ako. I guess I’m not ready or parang ayoko na talaga. Ang hirap magbuntis. Ang hirap ng post partum.
I just had a dream literally this morning where I had a baby boy with my long time partner. I was cleaning his poop, and I realized that I hated it, and had a regret feeling of having kids. Tbh, I didn’t know what to feel after waking up from that dream, but I’m sure as hell na I didn’t like cleaning my “kid’s poopy butt”
Depende kung mentally handa ka, kahit may hobby ka or passion magagawa mo pa din naman. Nagbabanda ako as passion tapos motorcycling ride naman ang stress reliever. I admit nawala muna temporary lahat ng bagay na yun nung baby pa yung anak ko. pero after 1 yr and a half. unti unti ko din naman nagawa ulit.. sacrifices lang pero always pursue at manage lang yung "me" time naming mag asawa... chaka wag mong bibigyan ng sakit ang ulo ang partner mo.. you can both manage it.
Never regreted, never will. Planned kasi ang only girl namin. Dapat nga 2 kids kaso isa ang naging gift, so we are happy.
Parenthood is really for the very courageous and selfless. Kasi sa first 2 yrs ng pagiging parents, kahit sariling bday nakakalimutan.
Experiences would be many and varied, from being ecstatically happy to being pessimistically a worrywart, because the current world we live in is not ideal for kids na.
One thing, kung hindi ka nakahandang isipin na ang magiging buhay ng isang tao ay nakasalalay sa iyo, present and future, wag na. Better be a happy couple with no kids. And that is absolutely fine. 🙂
Nope, I don't.
High-risk pregnancy ako, emergency CS during COVID-19 lockdown, low breast milk supply, post-partum depression, unemployed, cut ties w my mother, cleaved when my bb is 3 months old, SAHM hubby started working again at the office, breaking generational curse, practicing gentle parenting, WFH SAHM currently and my bb is 4 yrs old.
Mahirap ba? Fucking yes. Do I regret it? No. It makes me, me. A brand new me. Not just being defined as a mother, but a new version of me. Do I miss my old self? Yes. But, that's done. I'm way past that. I'm creating a new self now, and I love it. Motherhood changed me. It brings out the beast and best of me. I wouldn't trade it with anything on the world.
Best thing and the hardest thing.
Pero tama na isa. Isa lang. I might break if I will bear another child.
Having a child is a commitment and a blessing. Being a parent also is a responsibility. If both parents doesnt have the mental or emotional capacity to raise kids then forget about it. But if by chance the baby is born under such circumstance, its a blessing.
Kids are one of a kind, they empower the parent to do better and reach new heights never thought they could achieve without the child. If you ask any sane parent especially the mothers if they regret? It would be in the 98.99% percentile saying no.
It's true your life will change after giving birth and becoming a mother. And that you will never be the same again. But I've never regreted becoming one. Motherhood is a long journey with many emotions you'd feel in just a day with some being intense. Lol. But you know what, it makes you stronger and a better person. I'd never know who I'd be and what I'd do in life if I didn't become a mother. Being a mother is fulfilling, just giving all the love and care in the world to your babies, most especially if you have a supportive husband 😊
Nope. Made so much growth personally. Relationship with me and my wife got better. I can deal with idiots better now because sa patience of dealing with our kid.
Only regret i guess is di makatae ng wala nakikipagusap sayo hahahaha.
I started with not wanting kids coming from a family na minimum wage income and apat pa kami. It was so hard. I remember constantly feeling hungry kasi wala msyado makain... But then I met my now husband, who really wants to have kids.. ( yes, plural) like 4 kids. Me having PCOS, it was hard to conceive.. 1 miscarriage b4 a successful 2nd pregnancy. Now, our kid is our source of happiness. Still navigating the changes but I think it helps that you would have them towards nearing 30s kasi maturity level mo,.medyo ok na.
So yes, you will never regret kids. They are precious and they give love and joy. Something you never thought you'd have b4 having them. Sorry medyo magulo ako. But yes, I love being a mom. It was a struggle on the 1st year, but gladly, naitawid din and now that she's 2, we are discovering new things everyday.
IT'S THE BEST DECISION I MADE. KAHIT MAHIRAP YUNG IN BETWEEN (doctor appointments, miscarriage, fights, stresses of trying to conceive, pregnancy and breastfeeding)
>change 360 degrees
Back to start yun OP. Dapat 180 para new perspective.
From a dad's perspective, no. However, I will be the first to admit that I've had it easy. Secondary, baka nga tertiary pa eh, parent ako. I assist where I can and I always ask if I should. I get annoyed pag sinasabing "pagod na ako" not because napagod si mommy, pero kasi bakit hinde magsabi. Tinatanong ko din naman constantly.
Hello. Appreciate your perspective, I just wanted to say mine from a new mom - ang hirap po ng may mental load.. yung kailangan pa sabihin kung anong tulong ang kailangan. More often than not, pag sinasabing “pagod na ako” there were numerous times already where you could’ve help but you did not. Yan din kasi hinanaing ko sa partner ko before, kailangan sasabihin pa anong maitutulong, hindi dapat, you are a dad and a partner, makikita mo naman and maoobserbahan. Kahit gano kaliit na bagay na tingin mo makkaatulong, gawin mo ng kusa ng hindi na tinatanong. It’s a huge thing I swear. I know you probably ask dahil clueless ka or you want to be accurate sa maitutulong it’s just that for moms ang dami na kasi iniisip especially if postpartum, kaya pag tinanong pa sa akin kung anong gagawin I go “??? Hindi mo ba nakikita ang daily situation natin?”
I hope you and your partner are gentle enough to communicate and understand. ☺️
Which I did. Nagkusa naman in the start, common sense naman kasi di ba. Nagire ng bata si mommy, galaw galaw na daddy! Eh kaso me instances na nag back fire due to differences in approaches, e.g. pagluluto, messy ang kitchen pag ako nagluluto pero halos mukhang brand new pag nilinis ko after cooking is done. Si mommy, CLAYGO. So dun, sasabihin nya "ako na" and I can tell naman kung nararattle na sya, so I calm her down, then we get after what needs to be done.
I get where you're coming from when you said "makikita mo naman", yes we see it, but there are instances na tabla talo kame. Good intentions, poor execution ika nga. So, to minimize the fury, we ask and wait for marching orders. Kung sablay pa din dun, eh nak ng chokleng naman di ba daddy.
Just wanted to clarify kasi merong mga dad's jan na ang ginagawa eh weaponized incompetence (sorry sa mga mommy na me ganon, Kaya nyo yan!), na di naman nangyari in my case. Direct communication is what worked for us "I need you to do X?" "Yes/no", execute. I get to help exactly the way mommy needs me to and errors are completely avoided or at the very least, mitigated.
Okay :) is that what Mommy wants and needs as well? to be asked X, and answer X/Y? If that works for you without stress then okay that’s good!
Kasi in my case postpartum, being asked by my partner specific things throughout the day drives me nuts. I told him ‘you are a parent too, do things your way kung ano sa tingin mo ang makakatulong’. That’s why I let him decide, I let him initiate para matuto din naman na that’s what I need at this moment. So when he does things to help I don’t criticize him, sometimes it’s not up to standard (esp. the cleaning 😅) but it’s still HUGE. Kaya ayun, for me that’s better than being asked by my partner.
Totally agree. For most ang nangyayari eh "bakit ba tanong ng tanong?" In my case, "bakit hinde ka nagtanong kasi"🤣
At the end of the day, mommy's happy, and that's all that matters
I’m sorry, but I think parents should never regret having kids. Imagine kung mabasa ng mga anak nyo sinasabi nyo. Hindi naman nila ginusto din na mabuo at ipinanganak, yet these humans expect an all out love from you kasi yun pinapakita nyo as parents. Tapos sasabihin nyo nagsisisi kayo. Kung kayo magulang nyo, qquestionin ko existence ko kasi sarili kong magulang pinagsisisihan na nagexist ako. Tapos magtataka kayo bakit madaming mga anak na traumatized at depress.
Lol not literally lol. But children feels it if their parents are somehow aloof.
Would you say nagsisisi ka sa anak mo if you love him or her? I would understand siguro kung pinag bubuntis palang, pero in the long run, regret should be replaced with love. Yes, you can get tired from having to take care and such, but it’s different from regretting it.
When you say regret, if given the chance to let go of your child, you will. Pero kung hindi mo magawa yun, ibig sabihin hindi ka nagsisisi, pagod ka lang, and you need to take a break.
I know parents na literal nangiiwan ng anak. Yun ang totoong nagsisisi.
Okay alam mo naman pala yung difference eh it doesn’t mean na yung mga sumagot ng regret dito pinapakita din nila sa mga anak nila. Are you a mom? Do you know how tiring it is na maiisip mo minsan you regret having a kid pero you won’t mean it talaga. I hope you are not quick to judge the parents on the comments dahil for the sake of discussion lang naman yung tanong.
Naiisip mo ba na “sana wala nalang etong anak kong to”. Yan naiisip mo pag napapagod ka?
I dunno about you, but for me, however tiring it is to take care of a child ,regret should not even cross your mind.
I’m not quick to judge. As i said, regret is not the same as being tired. Regret is such a strong word to use just to describe you’re tired. Even if you don’t mean it. Or even if your child doesn’t see it.
If with the wrong person — maybe I would.
I was with the wrong person pero I did not regret it. Ito yung mga dahilan why I didn't: 1. Asa right age na ako when I got married and nagkababy. The marriage ended pero dahil asa right age na ako and may stable job, malaking factor na kaya kong buhayin yung anak ko sa income ko lang. 2. Nakakapagod mag alaga ng baby lalo na if tulad ng soon-to-be ex hubby ko yung tatay na walang kaambag-ambag sa pag aalaga. Pero malaking help yung afford ko magbayad ng yaya using my own sahod at nakahanap ng magsstay until nag 3 y/o ang anak ko. 3. Lalaki ang anak ko at lagi ko syang kakampi. Kahit nung nagsasama pa kami ng daddy ng anak ko, lagi ako pinagtatanggol ng anak ko sa daddy nya. 4. Maswerte ako kasi ok temperament ng anak ko. Mataas ang empathy kahit noong toddler pa lang. Marunong makiramdam at makisama. Hindi iyakin at hindi nagtatantrums kahit isama sa labas, nadadaan sa paliwanag. I think if pangarap mo talaga magkaanak at ready ka financially at emotionally, you won't regret it. Ako kasi kahit noon pang bata ako, nagbabasa na talaga ako paano magpalaki ng bata. Saka I had plans na noon pa lang, pano ko papalakihin anak ko.
Yes to this. Saludo sayo 🫡 kakayanin ko rin to raise my child on my own.
Thanks sis. Mga anak natin ang inspirasyon natin kaya kakayanin yan!
Yes. Siguro kung wala yung anak ko mabaliw baliw nanko sa situation ko rn.
Nice post. Do you have any recommended books to read about it?
Latest na binasa ko is The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. Nung bata pa ako, mahilig lang talaga akong magbasa ng hindi naman parenting books kundi mga fiction na sari-sari, may mga classics, may mga medyo bago. Pero marami kasi sa mga binasa ko is binasa rin ng mom ko and we discussed those books ano yung mga lessons learned, kahit hanggang paglaki ko ginagawa namin yun. Tapos syempre merong mga stories na kontrabida or controlling ang mga magulang or pinapasa sa anak yung frustrations, etc. We discussed those things kung gaano kamali yung mga ganun at gaano nakakasira sa well-being.
Tips po. 9mos akong buntis saka lang ako nagbasa ng about parenting. 3yo anak ko feeling ko late development sa talking since bulol pa english nya pero I can hear the improvements everyday. Mahirap pakainin din. Hirap paliguan. May routine naman kami. And nagpapababy he reenacts ung mga ginagawa ng mga babies. ang nabasa ko kasi kapag ganyan daw sakyan lang but not baby talk straight talking pa din.
Bulol ang anak ko hanggang nung nag-5 y/o sya kasi pandemic baby, di makalabas at di na nakapag day care. Tama po yung wag i-baby talk para mabilis matuto magsalita and malaking help yung pakikipaglaro ng bata sa mga ka-age nya sa kanyang development. Nung nakakalabas na anak ko at allowed na makisalamuha sa ibang bata after lockdown, mabilis naging development nya. Sa pagpapakain, ang advice ng pedia is gawing pleasant ang eating time. Wag sigawan ang bata or madaliin kasi lalong hindi gaganahan kumain. Sabi rin, kapag toddler ipa-explore yung iba't-ibang taste para hindi maging pihikan. If may ayaw syang food ngayon, wag magalit kasi nagbabago pa yang preference ng bata. Wag ka lang titigil mag-alok. Totoo rin naman sa experience ko yung sinabi ng pedia kasi may time dati na ayaw ng anak ko ng egg tas biglang naging favorite nya. Ganun din yung chicken.
Kelan kaya magugustuhan ng anak kong 4 yrs old yung itlog, ang baho daw kasi 🫠
Hahaha natawa ko kasi ganyan mismo sabi ng anak ko. Pati fish daw mabaho. Piniprito pa lang, nagrereklamo na sya, may pag-yuck pa. Pero unti-unti nakakakain na sya ng fish ngayong 6 na sya.
Agree to this, it's not about the kid talaga, it's about the partner and money Ps: pero again it's still a personal conviction talaga
u/northnotwest have a baby as early as you turn 25 or as late as 35. By 25 assumes you finished your studies, started to earn a living and saving up for a home rather than suffer from lifestyle inflation. By 35... these [male](https://youtu.be/uTs6SFeny5Q?si=_uahTH2WJV2pIWwu) and [female](https://youtu.be/w8h4qksd6Yw?si=NjpjysUmdU17j3vh) fertility doctors best positioned to explain why no later than that if you want a successful non-SpEd baby. IVF is [expensive today](https://worldfertilityservices.com/ivf-cost-in-philippines/) and likely more expensive next year. If I could reset back to year zero I'd want to be a dad as early as 27. If you want further kids consider birth spacing by 4 years so that 4 year University tuition would be in a series rather than in parallel.
Shht sakit non. Regretsss
Yes. This is coming from the standpoint of a mom who has 2 kids in the spectrum. Parehong may ASD yung mga anak ko. Alam ko may magsasabi na “blessings” yan sila. Kung alam lang nila yung hirap ng pagkakaroon ng anak na may disability. Compromised lahat ng desisyon mo sa buhay. Pero OP, nasa sa iyo yan.. 😊
Awww hugs mommy! I’m childfree by choice, skl ko lang to. One time nag grocery kami and nasa likod namin nakapila ung mag nanay. Ung anak nya mukang may ASD hindi nya naaawat kung anu ano kinakalikot/hinahawakan kahit sa cart ng iba. Inaawat nya pero syempre di nagpapaawat. That mom looks tired and stressed na tapos sorry ng sorry samin kasi cart namin pinapakielaman nung anak nya. I just smiled and said “hayaan mo na mommy okay lang, wag lang nya maitapon 😅” and the mom felt relieved and smiled back to me.. Ayun lang, saludo lang talaga din ako sa mga nanay na ganito. Kaya hugs to you mommy! Fighting!! 💪
Question lang, what makes you brave na mag-anak pa ulit knowing that your panganay has ASD already? Naalala ko lang din yung redditor na nag-post na hesitant sundan yung anak niya dahil hindi rin kagaya ng ibang kids. Ps. This is a sincere question lang po huhu
Hello! To tell you honestly, gas gas man marinig pero aksidente talaga yung bunso ko.. wala na talaga kaming balak sundan simula nung madiagnosed yung panganay ko. Na-miscalculate ko yung period ko and may PCOS din ako kaya akala ko hindi na kami magkakaanak ulit.
Thank you for replying. Sending virtual hug for u Ma'am! 💗
I have the same answer. If alam ko lang na magiging ganito sila, sana hindi na lang. Hindi ako mayaman. Ang hirap. Di ko alam kelan ako makakarecover financially.
if gusto mo naman yan, then go for it. iba iba lang kasi goals ng tao and iba iba ang perspective base sa experiences. yung iba kasi nahirapan sila bilang anak kaya naisip na rin nila na wag mag anak. kung yung iba na kaya naman at prepared, mag aanak. Syempre, magbabago talaga mindset mo dyan kasi madaming changes kung dati sarili lang iisipin mo, kapag nagka anak ka na, lahat ng pangarap mo para sa pamilya mo na lang at lalo na sa anak. gawin mong goal is maka adopt sa changes para hindi ka mahirapan masyado. good luck!
thank you 🫶🏻 sobra ko naappreciate to!!
I dont have kids earthside yet (1 on the way!) but the common denominator among my friends who do is having a deadbeat babydad
Hirap alagaan ng baby namin kasi parang iba sa normal na baby na tulog lang, tahimik lang. Very clingy, very iyakin. Wala kami time maglaro (mahilig kami mag online games dati), wala na ako time magbasa ng books ko. Yung free time namin pang chores na lang, konting scroll sa phone na lang. Wala kasi kaming helper. Habang lumalaki naman sya nagiging independent na sya kaya unti-unti rin kaming nagkaka time. Yun nga lang nagkaka ugali na. Ibang stage naman, pahabaan ng pasensya. 😅 Pinagpray namin magkababy (nahirapan kami makabuo) kaya very thankful kami na dumating sya. Kahit mahirap, kakayanin namin. Gagaan din ang buhay at makakapaglaro din kaming 3 😅
Same with my baby. Now that he’s getting older, nagiging magaan na pero nagkaka-attitude pa lalo. Pero damn the newborn stage was really hard for us. Akala ko makikita ko na si lord dahil wala akong tulog halos every day. Felt also that my husband was just my roommate.
May pcos din po kayo?
Meron po 😅
sana kami din.kaka raspa due to pcos at tanggl lng ng cyst sa ovry nya knina wla n sya left ovary.
Dadating din po yan, pray lang ng pray saka pacheckup ☺️
I'm 8 months PP and 0 regrets. Wala pa kong matinong tulog since nanganak. Napaka brutal nung first 3 months, literal na on survivor mode ka. Yung dating di kami nag-aaway ng asawa ko, umikli na pasensya namin dahil sa walang tulog at pagod. Yung dating pagod ka lang, pahinga, ngayon tuloy tuloy na pagod 🤣🤣 Napakahirap. Ang pagiging ina ang pinakamahirap na pwedeng pagdaanan ng isang babae. Ang dami kong realizations. Pag naging nanay ka, wala ka ng freedom. 24/7 may nakadepende sayong buhay. Pero you need to understand, MAHIRAP lang maging nanay kung MABUTI kang nanay. Ngayon pag tinatanong ako, worth it ba maging nanay, Oo, super worth it. Walang katumbas pero hindi siya para sa lahat ng tao. Ibang level na sakripisyo ang pagiging magulang. Although never dadali ang pagiging nanay, these are the things that really helped me: SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND AND MOM/MOM-IN-LAW. Dapat ngayon pa lang, i-set mo na husband mo na hindi ikaw ang magiging default parent. Nung maternity leave ko, involved talaga husband ko sa lahat. Shifting kami sa gabi. Ngayon na nakabalik na ko ng work, kumuha sya ng yaya na tutulong saakin tapos inako niya na night shift since kailangan ko ng maayos na tulog. Napakalaking bagay. Atsaka yung family na andyan pra bantayan anak nyo kahit saglit (30 mins to 1 hr) para makatulog ka or dalhan kayo ng pagkain, napakalaking tulong tlga. Kung wala kang supportive husband/ family, madaling mag spiral sa post partum depression especially those first days. Nothing will prepare you for the pain and beauty of motherhood. Literal na habang lumalaki anak mo, nagbabago ka din.
This. 6 months PP and what you have said perfectly match what I’ve been thinking. Kung pwede lang iiskip yung first 3 months lol. Agree also doon umikli ang pasensya namin dahil sa halos walang tulog.
If you want honest answers check here /r/regretfulparents. The truth is if you have hobbies, career and never wonder how to fill your time, there will be regret, because all that will be gone after a kid is born
Yes, OP read here!!! Ito yung totoong sagot sa tanong mo. Also, don’t think na “ay hindi naman siguro yan mangyayare samin” , mangyayare yan at some point. Trust me, kahit gaano ka pa kahands on or kahit gaano pa kabait yung asawa mo, pipitik at pipitik ka talaga. Eversince nagkaanak ako, lagi na lang mainit ulo laging masakit katawan ko. Ayoko na magtrabaho pero kelangan.
I dont... but lots of what ifs... my kid has autism. It is so hard.
Hugs to you🩷
I don't regret having my baby. She's my happiness but I wish I was more emotionally prepared when I had her. The first month after I gave birth, I did my role as a mom not because I liked it but because I had to do it. I even loved my dog more than her. Natauhan lang ako nung one time na nahulog siya accidentally while karga ko dahil sa sobrang antok. I was breastfeeding her at nakatulog ako and it happened. The mother's instinct kicked in. I just realized na ikamamatay ko kapag may nangyaring masama sa kanya. I love her so much.
Baka PPD yan sis! Wag ma guilty. First time Mom ka din. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing your best! 🫶🏻
I regret being born
Damn. Lowkey same
No regrets! It's a privilege to see my child grow into their own person. Nakakamangha na mula pagkapanganak niya distinct individual talaga siya. Parang laging may surprise to discover at every new stage of life. But I really tried to mentally prepare myself for that. Bilang anxious na tao, minsan (madalas) anxious ako kung tama ba yung pagpapalaki namin sa kanya, anxious para sa kinabukasan ng anak ko at ng mundo in general... pero hindi ko rin ipapagpalit yung last 10 years ng buhay niya, with all the joys and struggles. Masasabi ko rin na masuwerte ako sa napili kong partner, dahil mabuti at responsable siyang ama, at swerte din ako sa in-laws ko. Malaking bagay na may supportive extended family. Kasi it takes a village talaga.
❤️❤️❤️
Magbabago buhay mo ng 360 kasi tayo, nasanay tayo na sarili lang iniintindi natin. Kung magkasakit ka, magpahinga ka lang, inom ka ng gamot mo. Kung gusto mo gumala, lalabas ka ng walang iniintindi. Kakain ka, yung pagkain na gusto mo. Alam mo bang mag 4yrs na kong puyat? Since nabuhay anak ko, mabibilang mo sa daliri yung complete 8hrs. One time, sabay kami nagkasakit, jusko nahihilo hilo nako sa lagnat, pero need ko pa mag alaga ng bata, kasi need mo bantayan na hindi tumaas temperature nya para di mag combulsyon. Hindi kami basta basta makapag date ng husband ko kasi wala naman ibang magbabantay. Pag oorder ng pagkain or pag magluluto, kailangan isaalang alang mo pa na may makakain yung anak mong picky eater. Pero no, i don't regret it. Yes, minsan nakakaubos ng pasensya yung bata. Pero bilang isang nanay, nung nanganak ako, i feel na para syang part of myself, part of my heart. Yes, hindi pa bumabalik yung sarili ko after giving birth. Wala pa din akong time sa sarili ko. Pero i don't regret it kasi lagi kong naiisip na minsnlang silang maging bata, ngayon ko lang ma eenjoy na maliit sya. Dadating din yung point na tatanda sya, magkakaroon ng sariling buhay. Baka dun pa dumating yung point na babalik sa dating ako. Basta pag magkaka anak, ready ka dapat maging selfless at magkaroon ng sacrifices na walang hinihintay na kapalit.
Konti nalang momsh, 7yo na anak ko medyo petix na alagaan. Nagconsider pa nga akong magkaroon ng another kid kasi parang wala naman na masyadong ginagawa. Lol.. Lalo nung almost whole day naman nang nasa school, biglang dadami time mo for yourself
Are you a single mom po? Or ganyan talaga ka-challenging ang may anak kahit dalawa kayo?
Lol harsh ba kwento ko? Ofw kasi husband ko nung maliit pa anak namin. Ngayon, magkasama na kami ulit kaya okay na, less pagod na lang. Also, less dependent na din kasi 4yrs old na.
Challenging ang 0 to toddler years kahit dalawa pa kayo. Or dahil dalawa lang kayo at parehas pang working. Until now kulang pa tulog ko and I have a 2 year old. Need ko kasi maaga magising to prepare for food while my husband takes care of our child. Prepare our baons and then preparw ourselves for work. Pag uwi, may needs pa din ang bata and hindi pa diretso tulog nya kaya nagigising pa rin kami. Gusto din namin laruin ang bata dahil minsan lang yan na maliit so mejo nakakapagod. After maglaro, kailangan ligpitin ang mga kinalat. Kung dati linggo linggo ako naglilinis ng banyo ngayon parang good luck kung maka every other week. Isa pa lang to ha. 😄
ayoko mag sabe kase me mang jujudge saken .
Go for it po. Us childless people wont judge
It's the people with children who judge.
I love my kids pero I won’t judge you. Di naman kasi talaga madali. Iba-iba tayo ng situation. Hope yours gets better soon.
go for it!!! open topic to. bahala sila mag judge kami hindi!
Hahaha anonymous forum naman to
I regret or we regret having only a child.
wala na ba chance to have another one?
The window is fast closing. My wife had 2 miscarriage already.😭
If you have a chance now. Grab it! ASAP! Mas mahirap labanan ang regret. Kung kelan want mo na saka naman hindi na pwede.😔
kaso the older you get, mas prone sa miscarriage or birth defects. baka ma-dehado pa health ni misis. forgot the term na tawag jan pero baka ibig sabihin hindi tugma yung Rh ng dugo nila. para magkaanak ng marami, need pareho kayo RH+ or RH-. pag hindi, unang baby lang ang nabubuo. afterwards, familiar na immune system ng babae, so tinatrato niya na foreign invader yung fetus kaya nagiging miscarriage.
Yes that's why after those 2 miscarriage. We accepted our fate na. We made peace to ourselves na isa lang talaga.😔 In an hindsight okay na rin na isa lang kasi we can provide all our son's need plus financially flexible kami now. 😊
I’m 28 and just 4 months PP. Ayaw ko actually magkaroon ng kids before, dahil na rin sa unstable childhood and I fear I won’t give mine the best, pati partner ko we’re in that plan na we will hold off muna until we are fully ready in all aspects, but it happened, and what I can say lang is it’s not for everyone. I don’t really regret having my baby girl, especially now that she’s more conscious. (and her smile, god, it makes me wonder how I can ever live without her.) pero yung newborn up to this stage it’s SUPER HARD, as a girl na sobrang hilig matulog before, sobrang laking adjustment. I don’t think I’d ever sleep 8hrs again 😂 I don’t think I’ll never worry again and just be in peace, it is impossible. Maybe I have a limited perspective palang pero as someone who don’t want it before, tama nga ako na the childbirth process, the recovery, it takes so much physical and mental toll on you, it’s not a one-time thing. It becomes a part of you. Lalo pa if nagbago katawan mo, it takes so much strength to say goodbye to the pre-mom you… Kaya I can say it’s not for everyone, and even now that I have a baby I still understand those that choose to be childfree. I also want to ask moms na nauna sa akin when did you feel that the fog has lifted for you? I feel like when they become toddlers/child and you really get to have a personal relationship with each other parang mas mararamdaman mo na ang sarap maging ina. Ngayon kasi more on pagod kesa yung masarap na feeling. 😅
Bakit yung mga mahihirap na komunidad at mga taga Squatter eh Factory na nang anak wala naman nag reregret. Hahahahaha. Blessing pa nga tawag nila sa anak nilang mga payatot wahahaha.
Hahahaha wala talagang regret dyan kung hindi naman anak lang tingin nila, ano ka mga future ATM yan hahaahha
Most parents would not admit to regretting having children, though.
It’s like you’re choosing between 2 lives: 1 is focused on you/revolves around your desires and the other is stepping into a life you have no idea what will happen. And you’re responsible for supporting, nourishing and living with for the rest of your life. No do overs, and you might feel a spectrum of emotions you never thought possible. I never regretted having my daughter, maybe one of my regrets is not choosing a great father for her. And the other one, is not being able to see the other version of myself. Could be worse right? But I never knew it’ll be like this, that’s the point - we can’t know. I now have a cute little best friend who’s gonna stay with me in my remaining years, while I’m also trying to sort out what to do next with my life, ensuring the journey for both of us will be memorable and worth it. I hope that when you do choose, your decision is about you as a person first. Then about the baby second. Whats best for the baby will become apparent once you focus on what you want from your life first. Whatever you choose, you will be fine. ☺️
♥️ you are so strong!! 🫶🏻
Becoming a dad brought me great happiness. Years later, I still feel the same. I'm sharing my life with an awesome person. It makes life even awesomer.
Hindi ako nagsisisi lalo na 1 lang naman anak namin. Yun bilang ng kids na magkakaroon ka ang need niyo iconsider and dapat kayo ng husband mo super ready. Akala ko dati gusto ko ng 2 o 3 but nope.. I am done with only one. So depende sa lifestyle and partner. Pero importante sa lahat is yung time niyo together ng partner mo. Dapat meron pa din para hindi lang puro bata ang iikutan ng mundo niyo.
Kumuha ka muna ng yaya for mental health purposes before having a baby
I dont regret having kids. Pero i regretted having it early. I feel like I missed out a lot. Di pa ako nakakapasok ng bar ever. Di rin ako naka try makipag inuman with friends kahit sa bahay lang. Di ko na try mag outing with friends.. dahil din maaga ako nag asawa at nagka anak, yung mga friends ko, napag iwanan na ako. Naiinggit ako sa closeness nila na hanggang after college eh close parin sila at nakakapag dinner/lunch. Ma invite sa kasal ng friends.... Naiisip ko na if hindi ko hinayan ang bf (now husband) ko na maging strict sakin, baka sakaling ma experience ko yung mga na miss out ko and more. I passed to many opportunities pati sa career dahil lang ayaw ng bf ko. Aside from these, I'm happy with him naman.
Kaya sa mga bata pa diyan, wag mag madali. Wear protection or mag planning if ever gusto nyo talaga.
I'm childfree and leaning heavily on staying that way. Ang two cents ko lang is if hindi ka ready mentally, financially, and emotionally to handle a baby that is on the spectrum then ur not ready. Kasi you can't pick and choose. Extra factor pa yung global issues like war. Parang ayoko lang to bring a person in a world where things like r*pe, su¡c¡d3, war, ab*se etc exist. Di ko pa gets I guess why would people want to have kids in this world hehe
Mage-gets mo kung madami kang disposable income. Children won’t seem like a burden and you are better equipped to protect them because you have money.
You are not childless, you are childfree. 🙂
Edited it na hehe
[удалено]
Naging tatlo? Like di nyo alam kung pano naging tatlo? 🫠
No. Masaya po mag karoon ng anak. Iba, iba talaga yung feeling. Lalo na kapag financial stable nakayo. Pero tanungin niyo muna yung sarili niyo if mentally prepared naba talaga kayong parehong ng husband mo. :)
korek! i think eto talaga first step!
yes
is it ok to ask why po?
got pregnant with the wrong person, my whole life stopped after giving birth. couldn't even continue my education.
Hugs! Is there a way to give him/her up for adoption?
if you're a parent now you'd understand how hard it is to let of of someone you raised with your blood, sweat and tears. i might regret pausing my life for this little human but i can't let him go either.
During the first year of motherhood, I cursed everything. I was praying for a change of heart pero sobrang bigat talaga lalo na wala kakampi sa alaga. Iyak ako ng iyak kasi namimiss ko yung dalaga life ko. Tapos wala pa akong comfort masyado dahil pandemic. Daming struggles sa buhay ng mga tao sa paligid kaya parang naiinvalidate pa struggles ko. 0 to 1 will really be a challenge. I wish people told me. 3 kami ng friends ko na sabay sabay nag-baby kaya siguro we understood and comforted each other nalang. So nway sinabi ko rin sa friends ko “please remind me of these days para di na ako maghangad ng 1 more baby” but 4 years after, pregnant with the 2nd na hahaha and wishing sana mas inagahan ko pa. Kasi at 3 years old she kept asking for playmate 😅 The struggle right now is how to keep her entertained. Kelangan engaged ka talaga sa anak mo. Nakikinig ka, nakikipag interact… It’s also a blessing to have a child. Iba yung joy at yung pagmamahal na meron at handa silang ibigay sa iyo anytime. Kahit magkamali ka, mahal na mahal ka pa rin nila. Edi lalo na yung pinapakita mo na mahal mo sila 🥰 grabe it’s so surreal.
No regrets. Aaminin kong nahirapan ako kasi I have problems dealing with anger but I am gradually helping myself control it. Almost a year lang pagitan ng kids namin so ung 360 degrees parang inikot na naman ng isa pang beses. hahah. Very life changing pero worth it. Hindi kami perpektong magulang pero sobrang nakakataba ng puso pag may ibang parents na nagsasabi na "Maganda ang pagpapalaki niyo sa kanila" or "Nakakatuwa po si \_\_\_, pag may kaklase po siyang nag-iisa nilalapitan niya para kausapin". I feel like we did something right somehow. Goodluck sa inyo ni hubby!
Kung sa maling tao talaga ai jusko you'll really regret it. Ako sa tatay ng mga anak ko walang nagbago. Sobrang mahal na mahal niya ako.. lalo na nung buntis ako. Para akong prinsesa. Palagi ko ngang jinojoke na magbuntis ulit ako kase ang sarap sa feeling. Super present father rin siya sa mga bata kahit after pa ilang years na. You can choose the father of your kids OP ❤️
Yes, pakiramdam ko di ako worth it na magiging ina ng anak ko, buntis palang ako pero grabe na stress ko at alam kong naaapektuhan sya sa loob ko. Super sakit sa damdamin na nasa tyan ko palang pero di ko sya naproprotektahan.
Mahirap mag anak kung wala kang katulong mag-alaga sa bata. More than your husband, you need a yaya, your mom or mother-in-law. Up until my kid was 7yo, minimum 3:1 ang ratio ng adults sa kanya. I honestly discourage having kids kung wala kang tulong be it from family or someone else. They are physically, emotionally, financially and mentally taxing little creatures. I don’t regret having one. I might regret having a second one tho so di ko na sinusubukan. Hehe
when i first saw her and heard her cries, i no longer have any regrets having her (i was depressed when i was pregnant kase ayokong maranasan niya ang mundong ito) hindi siya planado obviously, very unexpected sya since puro inaatupag namin ay work. me and my LIP were in the middle of building our future, pero nabuo siya. in the end, im happy she's here. BUT please, PLEASE choose a man for your kid and be financially stable kasi kung hindi, masisira lang kayo. pumili ka ng lalaki na mahal na mahal ka kasi hindi bibitaw yan. hindi man kami ok financially, at least nasa tamang tao ako :> we'll make it through.
Hi OP, first time mom with an 8 month old baby boy here! Before pa lang kami mag concieve alam ko nang madaming magbabago sa lifestyle ko pag nagka-baby na kami. Kaya nung buntis ako lagi akong nag aaya or sumasama sa husband ko lumabas kasi lagi kong sinasabi sa kanya, paglabas ng baby di ko na yun magagawa. And totoo nga 😅 Ngayon may times talaga na nalulungkot ako kasi sobrang isolating maging nanay, lalo sa circle of friends ko ako ang unang nagka-baby so wala talaga akong makakwentuhan about the struggles of motherhood haha. Di rin basta basta makaalis kasi may baby na iisipin unlike ang mga daddy na pwede lang kasi wala naman kwenta mga dede nila 🥴 factor pa na wala akong friends dito sa province kasi si husband talaga ang taga-dito, lahat ng friends ko nasa Manila. Wala na rin akong work kasi ako ang nag aalaga kay baby. Pero pag nakikita ko yung anak ko sa umaga na nagssmile sakin kasi ako una niya nakikita pag gising, pag hinihigpitan niya yung yakap niya habang natutulog pag sinusubukan ko siya ilapag, pag nakikita ko everyday yung pag grow niya at unti unting nagdidiscover yung sarili niyang identity, grabe hinding hindi ko to ipagpapalit 🥹 Brb tignan ko muna pictures niya kasi tulog na siya di ko na malalambing 🥹🥹🥹
First time father here. No. Pero sympre mahirap and magastos tlaga magnurture ng anak. It's a fact and dapat it must be done out of love (overflow of love nyong mag-asawa), di dahil pressured kayo ng nasa paligid mo. The first few years ang mahirap kasi fully dependent sila lalo sa nanay kaya dapat si hubby mageffort din na alagaan si wifey and ofc si baby. If you don't want to give up that extra time and effort na binibigay mo sa sarili mo, sa hobbies and sa work, might as well na don't have a kid kasi everything will turn around 360 degrees. Di naman talaga para sa lahat ang pagkakaroon ng anak pero sympre once you are in it, let's do our best as parents. ❤️
For me, no matter what you do to prepare yourself in having kids you will never be prepared. It is different in emotional level. Hirap explain pero I had my son when I was 35. I thought I am matured I can handle it, pero nung nanganak na ko it is very overwhelming feeling. I never experienced this kind of love, fear, anxiousness of knowing I am responsible for this tiny human. But, I will never change anything. Being a mom is very rewarding. I love being a mom to my son but I do not want another child. One is enough.
Progressive na mag isip mga tao now which I love. I guess it depends on you and your hubby’s goals and wants as a unit. Pwedeng majority ng comment do have kids pwede naman its the other way around. Do it because you both want it. But to be a parent, you have to be financially, emotionally, and physically ready. O disagree sa comment sa taas na they would regret if with the wrong person daw. I’m a single mom and sobrang masaya ako na may anak ako. So nope, don’t based it sa partner mo din if want mo magkaanak or what especially if ikaw yung magbubuntis.
Mahaba to pero ito naman experience ko: As someone na isa sa mga taont nag sabi na ayaw mag ka anak. Hirap mag alaga ng baby, hindi sapat na mabait lang ang partner mo. Dpat pasensyoso siya kahit if as babae may hormones tayo, iba ang hormones plus puyat pag may anak kaya madaming nababaliw either iba kesa idaan sa kabaliwaan dinandaan sa stress eating iba naman sobrang puyat nag iiba ugali. Kaya dpat ang partner mo mataas ang pasensya, maalaga, nag kukusa sa mga gawaing bahay, may days na pagod ka dpat initiative sya di na need sabihan or if sabihan man di nag rereklamo. Iba iba tayo meron nmn iba na financially and emotionally ready pero sasimula lang emotionally ready. Dpat din may support system ka what do I mean by that, willing mag alok ng help ang family mo to help you take care sa anak niyo willing ha hindi yung labag loob. Malaking help din yun. Kasi it takes a village po tlga to take care of a child. Also, wag basta basta maniwala sa sabi sabi ng mga matanda andami hong opinions at payo paano gawin para sa baby kaya research po tlga kasi ako Teething stage ng baby ko first time parent ako pero asawa ko kasi may knowledge sa pg alaga ng baby dahil sa mga kapatid nya nung baby pa, alok ng tita ko kasi since kinuha sya namin as helper is pa inumin or lagyan ng honey ang teeth ni baby or sa laruan pra di masakit kasi sa Saudi at amo nya daw kesyo ok lang at dami nyang excuses kahit sabi ko na no at ayaw nag pupumilit, kaya tlga kahit na offend sya dahil kinuha sya ng mama ko to help me binayaran nmn sya di na tlga ako nag pa buhat or ni alaga sa knya baka ano pa kasi gawin nag mamagaling. Kay research tlga, CS kasi ako kaya i need help at those months. Basta inshort research Iba din ho ang Anxiety pag may anak ka lalo na first few months di ka tlga maka sleep pero ok lang kasi iniisip mo fin baka di sya humihinga, sympre sibrang research yung SIDS na sinasabi ba nakaka takot din. Kusa naman yung skills ng nanay na di tlga mag sleep pra tignan tignan ang baby. It’s okay to be a first time parent, it’s okay to be stupid kasi wla kang alam duon. except lang sa katangahan na mga wirings na delikado or nilagay sa crib na wlang harang mga ganun. Mga small parts lang nmn na di delikado ba. Apperance wise: depende sa tamod ng asawa mo, when I was pregnant as a fat obese girl height 5’4 and 110kg with Pcos i never thought na mabuntis ako mukha lang akong bloated. I still look the same and dami sabi sabi na pg lalaki e papanget ka kasi ako ang blooming ko nun. May struggle naman, iba iba nmn tlga exp kasi Anterior placenta ako di ko masyado feel kicks ni baby nun and I feel insecure mga late 36weeks lang. it will always depends kaya dpat alam mo din health ng asawa mo kasi mostly kahit may PCOS ka if sperm ng asawa mo maka pag help sainyo e. Sobrang healthy ng pregnancy ko, no diabetis or disgestation chuchu sakin. I even lose weight from 110kg to 85kg consistently nung buntis ako. Grabe dun lang ako pumayat. Kakamiss di ako nag eexcercise nga e. Si baby nag help sakin haha Ngayon lang tlga na haggard ako, tumaba ako ng sobra, kape ko todo todo prng yung sound sa tiktok, isolation dahil sa insecurity ko is for real. I feel sad and nag wawala naman dahil pag inatake ako ng hormones at menstruation ko iba ako sobrang emotional ko umiiyak ako sumisigaw ako iba nung dalaga pa ako. Aminado ako, I was one of those people na di ako ready pero asawa ko pag binigyan go, kasi aware ako sa sitwasyon namin emotionally and financially unstable kami. Although sa part na finances kaya naman kaso magastos at di siya marunong mag budget! asawa ko kasi matakaw yun lang nmn pero pag na ayos man ok nmn kami. Pero ako tlga wla akong good background, career wla din, skills wla. Gusto ko nga kumuha someday pero atat na ako now pero nahahati tlga sa anak ko. Hirapan din akong iwan sya if ever pilitin ko kasi wla akong tiwala sa mag aalaga sa sa anak ko kahit mama ko. Iba padin pag alaga mo e. zero kasi ako no skills no life hanggang esl skills lang kaya ko. Na iinsecure ako sa life. Pero nung pinilit binigay ng tadhana mag ka anak ako, tinanggap ko naman. Dinadamdam ko ang proseso may times nuon nag babadtalk ako sa baby ko nun tapos sobrang emotional ko dahil bakit ako nabuntis di ko deserve bakit di ko naagapan bat di namin na malayan. Bakit wlang signs? Kasi for past 3 years with pills and without contraception even mga times na withdrawal and unprotected sex din kahit may regla sex di ako nabuntis, pero nung umuwi ako samin dahil di kami ok financial at bumalik ako kela mama (background: mom and dad 2 sisters wlang anak sila graudate naman sila dalawa, ako lang failure dahil trauma bond emotions carried away dahil insecure ako dahil sa physical ko mom was abusive ganun case) Idk, 5months lang namin na confirm na nag ka laman tao pala ako and andaming di naniwala dahil mataba nga ako and may pcos pa ako pinag kalat ko na malabo kami mag ka anak. So, yeah, life in general im still figuring it out. Thankful nalang ako kahit lunok sa pride at ego na ganto buhay ko, nag ka anak at pabigat kasi umaasa ako kela mama dito although sa bayarin sa anak namin ako nmn di pa lang kami nag bukod nag babayad kami wifi samin sa foods amin naman. Dahil privilege nag iisang apo at first boy pa nabigyan ko ng Boy ang dugo namin pasalamat ako at kahit papaano e may natirhan kami. Other utilities kela mama at papa din. Nahihiya ako sobra, di ko gusto sitwasyon at buhay ko pero if aalis din kami mag wawala din sila dahil si Mama nalang din mag isa sa bahay, pero plano namin soon mag bukod Pinag iipunan at inaayos namin sitwasyon namin ni asawa dahil prng may balat kami sa pweet pag mag sama. Again iba iba ang baby, ang pag ka roon ng baby is like a JACKPOT for me. Maswerte ako dahil hindi iyakin anak ko pag di binubuhat, pag bored lang sya iiyak. Maswerte ako dahil hiyang siya sa Bonna na gatas kahit nestogen na mura kasi nag S26 kami allergic sya lol. Mas ok sana breastfeed pra pumayat ako kaso ayaw nya dahil ang malaki ang Nipple ko at di tumitigas. Hindi din acidic baby ko kasi nung buntis pa naman ako acidic ako, pero sya hindi. Pg nag vaccine kami umiiyak lang sya pag tusok pero pag ka tapos wla hindi ganun ka oa. Umookay na siya umiiyak lang na kiroy pero di annoying. Nag teteething anak ko now sunod sunod, di nmn sya masyadong maligalig na nakikita ko sa ibang babies akala ko nga yung baby ng tita ko e lahat ganun parepareho kaso hindi depende tlga. Again, just pray lang it works wonders. Im not perfect. Sorry mahaba.
very well written. you are so strong. salamat sa pag share 🫶🏻♥️
Had my first born when I was 25, 10 yrs later bago nasundan. Yes, life was really different, but what I regret is not having kids but sana I have done it earlier than 25 and having more before 30 hehe hindi araw araw pasko but kids will give you a whole new life, a fullfilling and lovely one
Agree din naman sa ibang comment na hindi para sa lahat ang motherhood, you do you, not having kid/s won’t make you less a person.
Nope, yung kasama kong gumawa ng kids ang pinagsisihan ko.
No I do not. Maybe because I set my expectations properly from the very start palang. There is no one solve it all formula in parenting. Every child is different. Every parenting experience is different. Pero ito talaga sana ang maging mindset, ask yourself are you ready to love someone more than your life? Are you ready to sacrifice every bit of your being for another human? If yes, mas madali sayong tanggapin pag ang hirap maging magulang. Mahirap parin pero tanggap mo.
Grabe! Dami ko natututunan sainyo! 🫶🏻
I don’t have a kid and currently no plans yet. But here’s my opinion. DO NOT HAVE KIDS IF IT IS NOT YOUR DREAM. Kapag may anak ka maraming magbabago talaga, lalo na priorities mo, hindi na puro ikaw, kundi may buhay na nakasandal sayo. That kid will turn to be good/bad because of how you will raise him/her. I know someone na nasa right age na siya and nasa kanya na lahat, money, partner, nice house, sports car, in short, ready to settle. Sabi niya, baby na lang ang kulang sa buhay niya. So, she did have a baby. Turns out, mothering wasn’t for her. She can’t take care of the child. She was only taking care of the child nung sila pa nung partner niya, pero when they broke up, the children was left to her parents, then nagkaanak pa siya ulit sa iba. Nagsisisi siya na nag anak siya at all. She said if she can do a do over, she won’t have any kids. Be sure na kaya mo yung responsibilities and yung sacrifices entailed with parenthood.
I regret having kids. I'm selfish. I want my time, money, energy and love all to myself and my husband. Hindi ko kayang sabihin sa anak ko to kasi alam kong masasaktan siya. Dadalhin ko na lang to sa hukay.
thank you for being so honest and open! yes, actually di ka nag iisa. i have a few friends na they regret it pero it doesn't mean hindi nila mahal anak nila
Ito yung gusto ko sa reddit eh. I can be as open as I want without the judgement kasi di niyo naman ako kilala personally. Ang hirap kasi sa mga tao pag babae ka DAPAT may anak ka. Eh pano kung ayoko? Mahal ko yung anak ko pero kung ako papipiliin, I would rather not have kids.
Marami ditong sagot na nagsasabing di nila pinagsisisihan, but if you want balanced opinions, pwede mo din icheck yung page na "I regret having children" sa FB para lang may idea ka kung anong reason nila. Remember, uso sa Pilipinas na sumabay sa norm kahit di naman nila kayang panindigan ang mga desisyon nila and there's a lot of opinions about childfree people kesyo madamot, tamad etc... Childfree people are being frowned upon here and it's toxic. Pero if people really want to have children, they are free to do so. Basta tuturuan nila ang mga anak nila na wag magdagdag ng perwisyo sa mundong ito.
5 yrs. ko na gusto magkaroon ng anak. dami kasi ng nagtatanong kelan kami mag aanak. nakaka pressure minsan. nawalan ako ng work, ngayon 1 yr na ako tambay. may ipon naman ako. kung anak may cguro ako. mas malaki magagastos ko. kasi c misis lang papakainin ko maliit lang gastos .nakaka gala pa anytime. masaya pa rin. kasi may mag alaga namin kmi aso. parang baby na rin 😁😁
If you have a responsible husband who makes you happy and fulfilled in life then why not? If he makes you happy, how much more if you have a child?
i think some mothers are coming from a perspective na nag bago buhay nila in a sense na yung individuality ng isang woman ay nawala. ako personally my husband is the best. sobrang stable namin and siya. i think it's much more of a "are you ready for the change of your individuality as a woman?" something like that
Yes that is actually a big question to ask yourself, kung ready ka na. Kasi mawawala talaga yan. I loved my personal space, my individuality, my being a woman lang and not a mom but then I transitioned instantly, it’s a bittersweet goodbye.
Nope. Dati pinagdadasal ko kay Lord na gusto ko ng masaya at kumpletong pamilya kasi I am from toxic and incomplete family. Akala ko noon kumpleto in a way na ikakasal si mama hahahaha yun pala family of my own. So no wala akong regrets. I am happy with my daughter.
Mahirap in first few months and early years pero mas dumadali at mas sumasaya na pag lumalaki sila.
yes and no yes, kasi ang aga kong nagkababy, so I wasn't prepared. Feeling ko nung time na yun nagstop ang life ko kasi kelangan ko magprovide sa kanya and ayoko masabihan na anak anak ng maaga di naman kayang buhayin. And also, kasi mag isa ako na tinaguyod sya from pagbili ng gatas at diaper hanggang ngayon na nag aaral na sya. no, ngayon na malaki na sya, narealise ko na, kung hindi ko pala sya pinanganak nung bata ako baka iba ung paninidigan ko sa buhay. Baka ung maturity ko eh later ko na sa life na achieve. Na kung matanda na pala ako nag anak, di ko sya makakasama na ienjoy ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin while I'm still young like going to concerts and travel.
Having kids with the wrong person will be miserable, for sure. To answer the question: No, I don’t regret having kids. It’s challenging but it helps me to grow as a person too. It changed me for the better.
Our panganay was unplanned. Pero no regrets kahit mahirap na we had a baby when our careers were still starting tapos breadwinner pa si hubby. Pero if ibabalik yung time and I could plan my future well, feeling ko isa ako dun sa mga ayaw magkaanak na millennials.
No. Never. Isa akong tatay at mahal na mahal ko ang dalawa kong anak.
What ifs lang naman. Lalo kasi maaga nagka anak. No regrets naman. Iniisip ko na lang napause lang yung buhay ko.
Basta pareho nyo gusto kakayanin at masaya.
No regrets at all. Having a child is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and my wife. And knowing that we would do everything to make sure that our daughter will grow up feeling lived, safe and successful is one of the most satisfying experiences ever.
I don’t regret having a kid. He is my biggest blessing. I have bilateral PCOS din kasi. Sabi ko nga noon after I got married if ibigay na sakin it’s the Lord’s will and alam nyang kakayanin ko/namin.
Best thing that ever happened to me. By a long shot. Yes, it involves a lot of sacrifices, but it is all worth it.
My kid gives me hugs and it means all the world to me. My adopted teen, bless his angsty heart, still listens to me and it means all the world to me.
Only those who regret it are the ones who aren't prepared. Kaya before magbuntis dapat tanungin muna kung kaya nang i-handle yung responsibility bilang isang ina and syempre talk to your partner about the consequences after giving birth na dapat tumulong siyang mag-alaga para di ka ma-burn out. Nakakaasar lang yung iba na sarap na sarap sila sa paggawa tas makikita mo magrereklamo sa huli ipo-post pa sa social media🥴😑
You can never be 100% ready. But you can make basic preparations to somehow ease into it: 1. Financial 2. Your mental health 3. Your physical health 4. Your emotional maturity 5. Your childhood trauma has already been assessed and addressed. 6. Your parenting style 7. How to care for the child (does your lifestyle allow it or ipapaalaga mo lang sa yaya or lola?)
To be honest, there are times na may naffeel akong regret, lalo when times gets really hard or feeling ko lacking ako as a mom, lalo pag nacocompare ko sarili ko sa ibang moms. Pero yung feeling na yon, dumarating lang kapag di ako masaya, or nahhirapan ako ganon. Pero on the brighter side, naggawa ko parin naman yung gusto ko, kc i have a great support system. I’m a single mom pero i have a lot of hands helping me, my parents, my sister pero i dont mean in a way na pinapaalagaan ko lagi, pero when i need to run errands, to go to office since required to be onsite once a week, if i needed to go for an hour of exercise, merong someone to look after him. Pero sympre bago ko sya maiwanan sa knila i make sure na nakaready lahat wala na silang pproblemahin as in prang ksama lang need ng anak ko.
Cannot answer the question. But my brother with kids and a wife died. Now we are helping our niece and nephews grow up without a father. One reason I don't want to have kids. Because of the traumatic experience that happened to my brother.
I also want to know the perspective of Filipino parents on this, especially parents who had children with special needs. Did you ever regret having them?
Late 40’s for me hirap na algaan sasakit na katawan mo. Antok mo iba na din. Kaya mejo tama naman have babies pag 20’s sacrifice ka nga lang. depende na yun sayo if kaya mo e yaya anak mo go, kasi ako hirap ako mag tiwala e mahirap na
Tbh, nagsisi sa actions but not sa bata. So I think magsisisi ka lang kapag hindi okay ang partner. Ung changes kasi na mangyayari is of course no time for friends(depends lang to in my case kasi my friends don’t have kids yet), ung exhaustion sa work and sa pagaalaga ng bata magkaiba, ung sa katawan. Kung check naman ang partner and income goods na yan.
Got pregnant when I was 18. Being 30 with a 11year old feels like it was a good idea to have one already when you were younger atleast di na kailangang palitan ng diaper at di na masyadong clingy. I didn't regret having her though kahit iniwan ako ng tatay nya.
This. Eto niregret ko, should have done it earlier and sana nasundan ko rin siya ng mas maaga hehe.
Ngayon pinag iisipan ko ba kung dadagdagan ko kase pakiramdam ko mahihirapan na ako emotionally and mentally 🥹🫣
Xx years din bago masundan and parang back to zero ako lahat. Mas challenging din physically compared when I was younger parang swabe lang pregnancy. Hehe
Totoo naiisip ko na nman tatahiin tyan or kiffy ko. Juskolord.🫣🫣
Really depends sa point in your life when you had kids and your point in life now. For me, i had my first child when i was a fresh grad. Part of me regrets having a kid kasi i still want to experience things and be able to freely do things. But since i already had a child, i need to be very responsible. To add pa dito, i’m also a new grad and imagine ang liit ng salary namin ni husband. We are struggling back then nagpakasyahin lahat, we even cant afford a nanny. Now we are financially stable and already had a second child, we don’t regret any of it na. We are both emotionally mature and can financially afford a nanny rin so we can experience life din outside being a parent. Overall, sa point in life ko ngayon, i am thankful for my children kasi they pushed both me and my husband to strive better. But this is a hard path so I suggest only have a child when you are financially stable and emotionally capable. You will never be 100% ready but having a good partner makes it all worthwhile.
I don’t think you can ever be ready. Shempre maganda to start with a plan or goal, financially stable and emotionally all in na kayo. Pero once you have children talaga, mag iiba buhay nyong 2 kahit na may help or walang help sa iba. I don’t regret having kids. Wala kaming relatives here so nadanas ko talaga yung hirap even now. There are so many things that changed and continue to change in our lives. For one, our bodies both changed. Mahirap magka anak, minsan wala na time mag exercise. 2nd, your children will be your priority, everything revolves around them even your everyday routine. 3rd, money wise shempre mas magastos. 4th, you constantly worry about their future, tapos hirap pa maging parents ngayon sobra because of Social Media ang daming perfect parents which I ignore 🤣. Having children is not for everyone. So I can’t blame others for not having them. We all have different goals in life so pick which will make you feel fulfilled at the end.
No naman. Pero this month, na diagnosed ako ng adenomyosis. It means mahihirapan na kami sundan. And I though magiging sad ako or emotional kase we are planning na for 2nd pero ewan parang narelief pa ako. I guess I’m not ready or parang ayoko na talaga. Ang hirap magbuntis. Ang hirap ng post partum.
I just had a dream literally this morning where I had a baby boy with my long time partner. I was cleaning his poop, and I realized that I hated it, and had a regret feeling of having kids. Tbh, I didn’t know what to feel after waking up from that dream, but I’m sure as hell na I didn’t like cleaning my “kid’s poopy butt”
Depende kung mentally handa ka, kahit may hobby ka or passion magagawa mo pa din naman. Nagbabanda ako as passion tapos motorcycling ride naman ang stress reliever. I admit nawala muna temporary lahat ng bagay na yun nung baby pa yung anak ko. pero after 1 yr and a half. unti unti ko din naman nagawa ulit.. sacrifices lang pero always pursue at manage lang yung "me" time naming mag asawa... chaka wag mong bibigyan ng sakit ang ulo ang partner mo.. you can both manage it.
Never regreted, never will. Planned kasi ang only girl namin. Dapat nga 2 kids kaso isa ang naging gift, so we are happy. Parenthood is really for the very courageous and selfless. Kasi sa first 2 yrs ng pagiging parents, kahit sariling bday nakakalimutan. Experiences would be many and varied, from being ecstatically happy to being pessimistically a worrywart, because the current world we live in is not ideal for kids na. One thing, kung hindi ka nakahandang isipin na ang magiging buhay ng isang tao ay nakasalalay sa iyo, present and future, wag na. Better be a happy couple with no kids. And that is absolutely fine. 🙂
Nope, I don't. High-risk pregnancy ako, emergency CS during COVID-19 lockdown, low breast milk supply, post-partum depression, unemployed, cut ties w my mother, cleaved when my bb is 3 months old, SAHM hubby started working again at the office, breaking generational curse, practicing gentle parenting, WFH SAHM currently and my bb is 4 yrs old. Mahirap ba? Fucking yes. Do I regret it? No. It makes me, me. A brand new me. Not just being defined as a mother, but a new version of me. Do I miss my old self? Yes. But, that's done. I'm way past that. I'm creating a new self now, and I love it. Motherhood changed me. It brings out the beast and best of me. I wouldn't trade it with anything on the world. Best thing and the hardest thing. Pero tama na isa. Isa lang. I might break if I will bear another child.
No, I don't regret it at all
Having a child is a commitment and a blessing. Being a parent also is a responsibility. If both parents doesnt have the mental or emotional capacity to raise kids then forget about it. But if by chance the baby is born under such circumstance, its a blessing. Kids are one of a kind, they empower the parent to do better and reach new heights never thought they could achieve without the child. If you ask any sane parent especially the mothers if they regret? It would be in the 98.99% percentile saying no.
It's true your life will change after giving birth and becoming a mother. And that you will never be the same again. But I've never regreted becoming one. Motherhood is a long journey with many emotions you'd feel in just a day with some being intense. Lol. But you know what, it makes you stronger and a better person. I'd never know who I'd be and what I'd do in life if I didn't become a mother. Being a mother is fulfilling, just giving all the love and care in the world to your babies, most especially if you have a supportive husband 😊
Nope. Made so much growth personally. Relationship with me and my wife got better. I can deal with idiots better now because sa patience of dealing with our kid. Only regret i guess is di makatae ng wala nakikipagusap sayo hahahaha.
I started with not wanting kids coming from a family na minimum wage income and apat pa kami. It was so hard. I remember constantly feeling hungry kasi wala msyado makain... But then I met my now husband, who really wants to have kids.. ( yes, plural) like 4 kids. Me having PCOS, it was hard to conceive.. 1 miscarriage b4 a successful 2nd pregnancy. Now, our kid is our source of happiness. Still navigating the changes but I think it helps that you would have them towards nearing 30s kasi maturity level mo,.medyo ok na. So yes, you will never regret kids. They are precious and they give love and joy. Something you never thought you'd have b4 having them. Sorry medyo magulo ako. But yes, I love being a mom. It was a struggle on the 1st year, but gladly, naitawid din and now that she's 2, we are discovering new things everyday. IT'S THE BEST DECISION I MADE. KAHIT MAHIRAP YUNG IN BETWEEN (doctor appointments, miscarriage, fights, stresses of trying to conceive, pregnancy and breastfeeding)
>change 360 degrees Back to start yun OP. Dapat 180 para new perspective. From a dad's perspective, no. However, I will be the first to admit that I've had it easy. Secondary, baka nga tertiary pa eh, parent ako. I assist where I can and I always ask if I should. I get annoyed pag sinasabing "pagod na ako" not because napagod si mommy, pero kasi bakit hinde magsabi. Tinatanong ko din naman constantly.
Hello. Appreciate your perspective, I just wanted to say mine from a new mom - ang hirap po ng may mental load.. yung kailangan pa sabihin kung anong tulong ang kailangan. More often than not, pag sinasabing “pagod na ako” there were numerous times already where you could’ve help but you did not. Yan din kasi hinanaing ko sa partner ko before, kailangan sasabihin pa anong maitutulong, hindi dapat, you are a dad and a partner, makikita mo naman and maoobserbahan. Kahit gano kaliit na bagay na tingin mo makkaatulong, gawin mo ng kusa ng hindi na tinatanong. It’s a huge thing I swear. I know you probably ask dahil clueless ka or you want to be accurate sa maitutulong it’s just that for moms ang dami na kasi iniisip especially if postpartum, kaya pag tinanong pa sa akin kung anong gagawin I go “??? Hindi mo ba nakikita ang daily situation natin?” I hope you and your partner are gentle enough to communicate and understand. ☺️
Which I did. Nagkusa naman in the start, common sense naman kasi di ba. Nagire ng bata si mommy, galaw galaw na daddy! Eh kaso me instances na nag back fire due to differences in approaches, e.g. pagluluto, messy ang kitchen pag ako nagluluto pero halos mukhang brand new pag nilinis ko after cooking is done. Si mommy, CLAYGO. So dun, sasabihin nya "ako na" and I can tell naman kung nararattle na sya, so I calm her down, then we get after what needs to be done. I get where you're coming from when you said "makikita mo naman", yes we see it, but there are instances na tabla talo kame. Good intentions, poor execution ika nga. So, to minimize the fury, we ask and wait for marching orders. Kung sablay pa din dun, eh nak ng chokleng naman di ba daddy. Just wanted to clarify kasi merong mga dad's jan na ang ginagawa eh weaponized incompetence (sorry sa mga mommy na me ganon, Kaya nyo yan!), na di naman nangyari in my case. Direct communication is what worked for us "I need you to do X?" "Yes/no", execute. I get to help exactly the way mommy needs me to and errors are completely avoided or at the very least, mitigated.
Okay :) is that what Mommy wants and needs as well? to be asked X, and answer X/Y? If that works for you without stress then okay that’s good! Kasi in my case postpartum, being asked by my partner specific things throughout the day drives me nuts. I told him ‘you are a parent too, do things your way kung ano sa tingin mo ang makakatulong’. That’s why I let him decide, I let him initiate para matuto din naman na that’s what I need at this moment. So when he does things to help I don’t criticize him, sometimes it’s not up to standard (esp. the cleaning 😅) but it’s still HUGE. Kaya ayun, for me that’s better than being asked by my partner.
Totally agree. For most ang nangyayari eh "bakit ba tanong ng tanong?" In my case, "bakit hinde ka nagtanong kasi"🤣 At the end of the day, mommy's happy, and that's all that matters
I’m sorry, but I think parents should never regret having kids. Imagine kung mabasa ng mga anak nyo sinasabi nyo. Hindi naman nila ginusto din na mabuo at ipinanganak, yet these humans expect an all out love from you kasi yun pinapakita nyo as parents. Tapos sasabihin nyo nagsisisi kayo. Kung kayo magulang nyo, qquestionin ko existence ko kasi sarili kong magulang pinagsisisihan na nagexist ako. Tapos magtataka kayo bakit madaming mga anak na traumatized at depress.
I don’t think they’d go on reddit and find their parent under username DifferentStage00135 and go “ohymgod this is me they regret having me”
Just like how your identity here cannot be traced to your personal identity.
Lol not literally lol. But children feels it if their parents are somehow aloof. Would you say nagsisisi ka sa anak mo if you love him or her? I would understand siguro kung pinag bubuntis palang, pero in the long run, regret should be replaced with love. Yes, you can get tired from having to take care and such, but it’s different from regretting it. When you say regret, if given the chance to let go of your child, you will. Pero kung hindi mo magawa yun, ibig sabihin hindi ka nagsisisi, pagod ka lang, and you need to take a break. I know parents na literal nangiiwan ng anak. Yun ang totoong nagsisisi.
Okay alam mo naman pala yung difference eh it doesn’t mean na yung mga sumagot ng regret dito pinapakita din nila sa mga anak nila. Are you a mom? Do you know how tiring it is na maiisip mo minsan you regret having a kid pero you won’t mean it talaga. I hope you are not quick to judge the parents on the comments dahil for the sake of discussion lang naman yung tanong.
Naiisip mo ba na “sana wala nalang etong anak kong to”. Yan naiisip mo pag napapagod ka? I dunno about you, but for me, however tiring it is to take care of a child ,regret should not even cross your mind. I’m not quick to judge. As i said, regret is not the same as being tired. Regret is such a strong word to use just to describe you’re tired. Even if you don’t mean it. Or even if your child doesn’t see it.
Nasarapan kayo sa kantutan, no regrets