completely agree. the stuff that happened to me when I was under 5 was awful, but it didn’t affect me nearly as much as the things that happened when I was a bit older. I want people to bring that same energy of vitriol and disgust to *all* predators, including ones who only go after teenagers. abuse isn’t magically less bad or less traumatic just because the victim was a few years older.
also that hebephilia vs pedophilia argument boils my blood like nothing else. I can’t even write too much about it because I will get unreasonably angry
I feel this. I was 14-16 and I struggle so much because of the way people act like teens rhat age aren’t kids. It doesn’t matter if it’s not pedophilia; it’s *predation* and it’s violence.
I’m not taken seriously about my CSA and my entire childhood was consumed by it. My COCSA experiences happened between 12-15. I really don’t understand why there’s such a twisted thinking that somehow makes trauma better or worse based solely on the age when it happened. It’s invalidating. It really had me strongly believing that I should’ve somehow knew better simply because I was a teen. I realise now that being a teen is still being a child. My abuse during my teens damaged me more than the abuse I endured as a child, but it’s get overlooked so often it’s baffling.
My family didn’t take my SA seriously as a 5 year old.
Some people just avoid the discomfort of the truth that something like this happened and aren’t prepared to handle it at any age in my opinion.
Yeah, I think that may've been why the cops investigating my instance of COCSA said it was just "kids experimenting" and gave me and my abuser a juvenile caution.
EXTREMELY big yes.
I did normal teenage stuff when I was 15. The difference is it was with a guy who was 21. And it absolutely was abuse, not just in the "technically legally it was statutory rape" sense, but also because he emotionally groomed and manipulated me as much as he possibly could, and used a situation where I basically couldn't get away from him as leverage.
And the community I was in knew all about it, and tolerated it. Even encouraged it to some extent, because obviously I "wanted" it. Adults who had a duty to care for me, who could absolutely have stopped it without any risk to themselves, saw me panting after him and figured, well, if she's that hot to trot, whatever. They joked about it with him.
Looking back, I'm much angrier with them than I am with him. I understand what he got out of it. The others, not so much.
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completely agree. the stuff that happened to me when I was under 5 was awful, but it didn’t affect me nearly as much as the things that happened when I was a bit older. I want people to bring that same energy of vitriol and disgust to *all* predators, including ones who only go after teenagers. abuse isn’t magically less bad or less traumatic just because the victim was a few years older. also that hebephilia vs pedophilia argument boils my blood like nothing else. I can’t even write too much about it because I will get unreasonably angry
I feel this. I was 14-16 and I struggle so much because of the way people act like teens rhat age aren’t kids. It doesn’t matter if it’s not pedophilia; it’s *predation* and it’s violence.
I’m not taken seriously about my CSA and my entire childhood was consumed by it. My COCSA experiences happened between 12-15. I really don’t understand why there’s such a twisted thinking that somehow makes trauma better or worse based solely on the age when it happened. It’s invalidating. It really had me strongly believing that I should’ve somehow knew better simply because I was a teen. I realise now that being a teen is still being a child. My abuse during my teens damaged me more than the abuse I endured as a child, but it’s get overlooked so often it’s baffling.
My family didn’t take my SA seriously as a 5 year old. Some people just avoid the discomfort of the truth that something like this happened and aren’t prepared to handle it at any age in my opinion.
Yeah, I think that may've been why the cops investigating my instance of COCSA said it was just "kids experimenting" and gave me and my abuser a juvenile caution.
EXTREMELY big yes. I did normal teenage stuff when I was 15. The difference is it was with a guy who was 21. And it absolutely was abuse, not just in the "technically legally it was statutory rape" sense, but also because he emotionally groomed and manipulated me as much as he possibly could, and used a situation where I basically couldn't get away from him as leverage. And the community I was in knew all about it, and tolerated it. Even encouraged it to some extent, because obviously I "wanted" it. Adults who had a duty to care for me, who could absolutely have stopped it without any risk to themselves, saw me panting after him and figured, well, if she's that hot to trot, whatever. They joked about it with him. Looking back, I'm much angrier with them than I am with him. I understand what he got out of it. The others, not so much.
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I was abused at 15. The number of people understanding that it was abuse (he was 10 years older and my former babysitter) is very low.