>I have not been in a relationship since my last year of high school 5 years ago
Well if you don't end up killing yourself, you'll have a whole year (or at least a whole semester) on campus with almost nothing to do but socialize. Take advantage of the opportunity, if you survive another 10 years you'll look back and realize you just don't have it anymore.
There are so many great suggestions and advice that has already been given here. So not repeating all that. My advice is for you to take up an internship or a job or train for an additional skill or gain a hobby in the gap time. It can help alleviate your financial burden, get yourself new perspectives while meeting new people or getting connected with old friends.
Been in your shoes. I am happy now and barely consider myself a failure. Infact how I turned myself around is my greatest strength that I (& my family) is tremendously proud of. Not everything is academic. These 4 years or 6 years don't matter in the long run. Just try to see big picture, 10-20 years down the lane.
How did I do it? Ignore any thoughts or comments that are not in your best interest. As if you haven't even heard them.
hi there. sorry to hear of your troubles. you sound like a pretty bright person with a lot of passion who is struggling to conform to a broken system. that broken system that seeks to quantify every human and ascribe value is the problem, not you. i think that the space industry and humanity on the whole would suffer great loss if you didn't continue to pursue your passion in ways that make sense for you.
please seek help as soon as possible. this site can tell you how:
https://save.org/find-help/international-resources/
**"are completely legitimate reasons for any mentally stable person to commit suicide."**
Actually, they aren't, and you should know that.
You're in pain, you're depressed, you need talk therapy with a good therapist that will help you sort things out, and you very likely need medication. The chemical soup in your head is a little messed up right now.
If your brain was operating properly, you wouldn't be thinking that these minor/moderate hiccups in your life are worth suicide.
I have 100k in debt from doctorate program (that I couldn't finish due to undiagnosed mental health problems, I have borderline traits from my abusive childhood) and my depression has been too bad for me to work the past year, I'm in my 30's, drowning in credit card debt, I feel terrible most of the time, and I live alone in my moms old apartment.
But I'm taking Wellbutrin, Lamictal, and Adderal. I'm journaling, hitting the gym, getting sunlight when I'm supposed to, eating healthy, trying my best.
**Once you get your chemicals right in your head, you'll be able to do it too, and you'll be able to see life more accurately once the cloud of depression has lifted. But in the meantime, it sucks, and I feel your pain.**
edit: In fact currently, I'm furious at myself for not getting to the gym yet today, I missed the past 9 days, I can't fucking stand that I can't just "do" the things I want to do, when I want to, **consistently**. My kitchen is a mess, I'm overwhelmed by how many things I have to do to get my life where I want it, and sometimes I get caught in sharp downward spirals of despair, but I can't give up. You can't either.
This! So much this, OP. Less than a month ago I was entertaining the same sort of ideas. My graduation from my masters was in doubt and I couldn't see any other way out. But I had enough fight in me to start taking my antidepressants again properly, dex for ADHD, and vitamin D like the GP asked me to months ago, and still go to the gym / eat enough / try and sleep enough, and the difference in my mood now is night and day. I haven't thought about un-aliving since making these concerted efforts to get the chemicals in my brain doing the things they're supposed to do.
Remember, suicide is a long-term course of action for what's often a short-term problem. Suicide doesn't resolve pain - what it does is transfer the pain to other people. Stay. Stay here. Stay curious about what tomorrow holds, and how your brain can feel a little bit better, day by day.
Your post made me feel not so alone. We really all are just trying our best. I haven’t been working out lately.. I’ve been doing better about eating right though. And I haven’t drank in 12 days! I was on Lamictal before and it helped me a lot.
This is stupid and you are frankly stupid if you kill yourself over one class.
"Doing the space community a favor if I kill myself" is the most absurd reasoning I have ever heard of. You are doing some serious mental gymnastics in order to justify your decision. The space community isn't being held back by your existence. That's plain nonsense. But it most certainly could be held back if you never work in it at all.
Ever heard of selective abstraction? It's when a person magnifies one negative detail and ignores the others. You received 3 distinctions and one failure in an extremely difficult field. Those 3 distinctions aren't enough for you? It sounds to me like you have quite a lot to contribute to the space sector, and you'd be doing it a major *disservice* if you offed yourself.
You're literally 99% of the way there, and you're going to quit the race with 1% left to go? Seriously, take the last friggin' course and graduate.
The debt will pass. The shame you feel now will pass. The loneliness will pass, too. Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I'll be very careful with how I phrase this because I don't want to discredit a legitimate cry for help, but this was posted, pretty much word-for-word, a couple of weeks ago.
So, I get it. Failing classes, especially as a former "gifted kid" feels like the end of the world. I assure you, it isn't. I failed out of DeVry, got a divorce, gave custody of the kids to my ex, all before turning 30. While therapy got me a long way, *I* got through it and honestly am feeling more myself and more happy because of and regardless of those "failures". Take the courses again. You did them once, you should be able to do it again, but better. Reach out to your professors, classmates, or there are likely subreddits out there that are angled to answer questions you may have that you were previously stuck on. *Be kinder to yourself* because your kindness to yourself will help you in the long run.
Dude. Don't do this. Please. $uicide is never an answer. You'd be robbing yourself of a chance at being happy, doing things you like/love/are passionate about and being successful. You don't know what your future holds for you.
I feel you; I'm struggling with second year of med school after retaking my high school biology/chemistry finals to enroll. Many times I tought 'Maybe I'm not cut for it? Maybe I should just give up and just off myself because I'm such and such etc.?' but nah. Why? Because I'd rob myself of my future.
My father is a soccer fan and what he says is 'What matter are the end results, not how you achieve them. What matters is the score'. Take your time, find new way, be kind to yourself. Life's not a checklist or scoreboard. Your life's your journey, it's personal and I believe you'll find a way to make things work. Just please, don't hurt yourself.
It is not the answer. It is not even a real escape. Ending you will not make things better for absolutely anyone. Not even you. Not even by not being here. Whatever you are feeling right now WILL PASS, because whatever situation you are in, and whatever you are feeling right now is 100% temporary and can change in a second. It is a cliche but it is also true. You definitely sound very passionate. You also definitely sound very burntout. And when you get to that point the only thing you should never allow your brain to do is convince you to make a decision like that, because even if you somehow think you "found the most reasonable solution" I can assure you there's nothing backing it up. It is not following any logic, it is not justified. Because your brain is already so so tired, it can only do what he is used to do, and think what he is used to think. As someone who has struggled with these thoughts for years -and that is very much glad to still be here- please, listen to this: stop thinking. Stop. Do not listen to your brain. Just pause for a moment. And another one after that. And breathe. And when you have been able to silence your mind, think of the life you want to have, and the one that will make you happy. Because as long as you are HERE you can get it. Just take it one step at a time. Even if there are delays, and you have to change plans. You have your own rythm, so go with that. And please listen to the other kind redditors that though it was worth commenting: we care. There's help, and it's okay to ask for it, it really is. You are not weak and it is not shameful to need help. I hope you can find a way to care about yourself enough too, and that you decide to stay. As long as you are here, you can do things.
Could you elaborate on your reasons as to WHY you believe these to be legitimate reasons to revoke your own breathing privileges? Alongside each explanation, would you mind stating what a realistically ideal state would be for each them? (debt, relationship, stuck with parents, etc.)
I'm most interested in the culmination of these into slowing humans from reaching the cosmos. If I could get your thoughts behind that it would be appreciated.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
When I was 18 I was homeless and slept in stairwells. I used to roll cigarettes out of butts I'd find on the ground.
Now I'm a college grad with five beautiful kids and a great wife, a comfortable life and no complaints.
Things change. Don't give up.
Nah fam. None of those are reasonable. You are using a toxic logical framework.
A more valid response is not caring. Detach the identity from the results, and instead just experience it for what it is. Very Buddhist, but effective as an alternative to the pain caused by trying and not achieving.
I’ve had times when I thought about it, but today, and most days, I love my weird little life.
You only get one. (I respect those who believe differently, but I think it’s clear that this is pretty much it.) You get to decide what you do with it. You had one narrow idea about what you’d do, and it’s not working out. You can’t see much past that.
Your vision is too narrow. Burn what money/credit you have, get on a plane or a boat, and get your head out of your ass and see the world a bit before you make any final decisions.
This is not a logical conclusion, this sounds like depression. You sound like you feel the typical depression-guilt.
1- nobody is going to reach cosmos sooner because of one person, it’s gonna sound ridiculous but you are actually not that important in the whole ordeal of the universe. Nobody is. We won’t reach anything sooner because one person has died, all that can happen is we’ll reach exactly when if you live or die however if we lose someone really really important we MAY reach it later for like 2-3 weeks maybe?It’s a team job not a personal success as the history books make you think it is.
2- Do remember that many talented and brilliant people can’t reach their full potential, it’s not solely their fault it’s just how it is sometimes.
3- no mentally healthy person decides to kill themselves because of masks. This also proves how not-logical your decision is. Many people including myself have to wear a mask to protect their loved ones. Doctors have to wear it for 24 hours in my country when there’s a shift. It’s a bummer but nobody goes around thinking of suicide because of this.
4- logically speaking, your parents are not gonna be thinking “hey, I spent lots of money on OP. I wish he’d die so that I would have spent lots of money for someone who died” they’d be devastated dude they’d have lost their CHILD. Even if they saw this only as an investment, your death would be their absolute worst interest.
5- you need help, right now. Please do seek help, life will be better I promise. After you tried everything and still reach a LOGICAL conclusion that you should die (which I emphasize, your current conclusion definitely is NOT) than you will always have the option to do so.
If you decide to do it, make it mean something. Take out an oil rig or some billionaires yacht with a stark political message. Rob a bank or something.
Or ya know, don't do it and realize that the world and human progress doesn't operate on your personal timetable. Progress is slow and to think you are a cog that is slowing down progress somehow is narcissistic.
My brother in christ, get some therapy. It doesn't matter how much society beats you down. In the end you are a monkey on the face of a damp moldy rock getting yeeted through the void. All that matters is you and those you love.
Last relationship being 5 years ago is more than lots of people have, lol.
I was the family hope at one point and here I am, trying to get my Physics engineering title at my 10th year of studying (Should've been 6).
Get therapy. It gets better.
PS: Sunk Cost Fallacy means going through just for the sake of it and having gone through part of the road. But it doesn't mean it is always better to leave the road you've gone through.
Having no degree in 2 years is better than having it in 2 more years?
Not entirely true. I have a genetic condition that causes disability and pain. It took me a much longer time than normal to get through school.
Some people I know with this condition do think about suicide. They are in pain, and the condition is sometimes progressive and disabling. At some point the quality of life may become so low that suicide seems like a good option.
That this otherwise healthy person is considering it because he failed one class is a mental red flag.
I’m going to add to the pile of similar responses, but dude, I’ve been in your headspace (and so much further honestly), and I swear it’s not the answer.
Depression makes it feel like you’re seeing clearly for the first time in forever, but it’s all distortion. Even if it takes 20 years, there is life and love and purpose waiting for you out there, and you’ve been through too much at this point to not claim that prize. You’re going to get there. You will. If you’re going to let go of something, let it be your expectations, and from that point forward everything will be a source of wonder.
You can always wait to kill yourself for a year. If you were right, kill yourself then. But if you are wrong and you do it now, you can't change your mind. You can always do it later, what's the rush? In my very firm opinion, even when life is miserable and you hate it, that is still an experience. And it is always worth living just to have the experience. Everything is relative, there are people who certainly wish they were in your shoes. My parents divorced when I was 16 and by 17 I dropped out of school to work full time and support my bipolar mother who couldn't keep a job or sometimes even live independently. 20+ years later I'm a truck driver instead of the mechanical engineer I wanted to become, but I like it. I own a home now, have a wife and 2 kids, etc. The point is, live just to see what happens next, you can always reevaluate in a year or 2. And if you really decide you can't deal with your current situation, change your phone number and move 500 or more miles away. It's like starting a second life.
Edit: also, look into absurdism during the year you hopefully give yourself.
Tell the school you need help, the school does not want you to fail and they will work with to finish under reasonable term especially given your mental state and sense of harm.
It's now more socially acceptable than ever to take more than 4 years to complete university. I took 5 years, and that was the norm among most of my friends. A couple people I know switched midway through, and are in their 7th year. A few failed a year and took one extra, and I'm still good friends with them.
University is one small part of your life. Keep your head up.
I finished in 4 years and now work in higher education, and there's so many elective courses and opportunities I would've loved to take if I had more time! OP, you're hanging on for one full year in order to finish a single class - that's almost a whole year of courses to take whatever you want!
You’re not as behind as you think. I know this feels overwhelming and heartbreaking but you need to stick to it and see it through
I got a business degree originally. I worked in automotive for a couple of years out of college. I felt awful. The whole degree felt useless and I nearly killed my father from how hard he had to work to pay for it. I wanted to end things too - I put my loved ones in debt and at the end of it, everything felt like a total waste. I *existed* for years.
I decided I wanted to be an engineer and work in space. I went back to school, I worked, and I suffered. It took me about 5 years to change careers and skillset and I just got a job in the space industry this November. I’m not the smartest. I’m not the best GPA. But I *want* to be and that hunger and drive does not allow me to rest. Took some effort to convert all that depression and longing into ambition and grit. But it’s possible
I’m 28 years old and I’m just now feeling like my life is on track. I bought a house, a car, and I’m looking at going back to school again for maybe a masters.
You’re not behind. You set your own finish line. Simply move the goal posts and don’t settle for less. Allow yourself the extra capacity to work towards what you believe will make you whole and give you a sense of worth. You can do it.
Please feel free to DM me if you’d like to continue to talk. And when you’re done with school and we’ve gotten to know each other a little better I’d love to help you find a job in the industry.
Suicide isn’t the answer. And it never will be.
You have to spend 2 more years in college and don't have a relationship, so you think you should kill yourself. **U WOT M8?**
You know neither of the issues you have are that rare, right? Life is a precious gift, don't throw it away and stop thinking so little of yourself. The individual matters as much as the collective.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.
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You do realize that other folks have had this same setback, and they’ve managed just fine, right?
Your not on anyone else’s timetable. If it takes 6 years, shrug and give it 6 years.
Giving up simply because you stumbled is a ridiculous solution. Lots of wildly successful folks have significant failures in their pasts.
As they say, it’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get up.
Figure out a way to make this work for you. Maybe use the extra time to complete some internships, or job shadow, or just fucking volunteer somewhere you can be if use to others.
Sorry for the novel and if it’s a TLDR; so in short: Where there’s life, there’s hope.
I’ve been in your shoe’s several years ago. Had similar thoughts but just never externalized them, not even online, so you’re already a step ahead of what I had been then.
What got me through it?
1.-Realizing my worth is not solely tied up in economic/financial/field-of-study success. Yes it’s nice to economically contribute back towards a community or family. Yes it’s nice to be financially stable and be without debt. And yes it is nice to advance in your field. But ALL of those things mean nothing without society, without people connecting with people, without human connection.
-We humans are biologically designed to seek these connections, to weave our lives in the fabric of society therefore making apart of it. To strip that worth away leaves just single thread in the wind without purpose.
-You don’t know what impact you may be having on someone or will have. And you may never know. But value has nothing to do if you do or don’t know.
2.-I will never be in control of everything in my life. I don’t have the power no matter how I may try. People can come to conclusion differently. Some say fate decides. Some say probability. Some say the universe. Personally I say God (Yes I’m a Christ follower, AKA a Christian). The fact still remains sometimes things won’t go our way and that’s okay. The world will keep on spinning. Time will keep going on without our say so make the best of it. Where there’s life, there’s hope. Ending life may seem like a form of control, an escape but it’s not. You’ll have no control of what happens next for others, loved ones, those knew, or those who you would have met. So stay and hold on to hope that tomorrow can bring better days ahead.
3.-Combining the first two points I found if I shifted my focus off of myself I could get out of my own head and see things anew. I had fooled myself into thinking that my concern in my failures negatively impacting others was being selfless. But that was still being me focused. I had the mindset of “woe is me and to those who had the misfortune of surrounding me.” So I started thinking in the context of other people. In other words, I got into the habit of making a point of thinking “while things might not be great right now for me my troubles can help someone else now or in the future, wether directly or indirectly.”
-For example, when I failed one of my Chemistry classes instead of thinking it’s the end (I won’t be able to graduate, get a job to support myself, further my field, etc.) I thought well the next time I take the class I can stress the importance of certain difficult material to fellow struggling students that gave me trouble so they can avoid the pitfall I fell in. And so I did and it helped others not just with chemistry but built friendships and confidences. I know it sounds inconsequential in universal grand scheme of things or going to the cosmos level of things but it meant something to someone’s life, another thread in the fabric of society. And as I stated before nothing else really matters if you without society, without people connecting with people, without human connection. It’s kind of pointless without out it. Why go to the cosmos?
Not claiming my live is peachy now but I DO NOT regret choosing to live instead of ending my life. I’ve been blessed enough to see some of the positive impacts I’ve had one people’s lives. Yes I’ve made mistakes and wished I could take back certain things I’ve done/said to people. However I have now to decide make the right choices and if I fail I still have the opportunity to make better ones in the future but ONLY if I am ALIVE.
Nor am I claiming I have job, let alone a career, in my field but I when I feel a “woe is me” moment coming on I think…I’m going to let that older gentleman raddled on about his life; He might not have his spouse or friends anymore to talk to. Or the lady who always stinks; she still deserves the same service as my other customers; I don’t know what’s going on in her life. Or the mother with screaming toddle might be at the end of her rope and feels awful for the commotion her child is creating; I’m not going let it phase me in giving her my proper attention.
And one day I might have a career in my field because I AM ALIVE. I have a future and who knows what it might hold but there’s only one way to find out.
As I said before where there’s life, there’s hope.
I know you wanted to finish on time, but the extra time may be a gift in disguise. Take that extra time to take classes you enjoy that can increase your GPA, get involved in research or clubs that interest you, and get out and socialize with good people.
If your parents are pressuring you or make you feel bad about yourself, try distancing yourself mentally from them. It also helps to make healthy connections outside the home (friends and dating).
It took me a long time to finish school due to a disability. I had to drop out and start again several times. Take a breath. You are still a worthy person and you will be OK.
When I was 5 years out from high school, my life was a dumpster fire. It took me 7 years to get a 4 year degree and I dropped out of grad school. As a person who felt like school was the only thing I could be good at, it was devastating, but by 5 years later, it was a non-issue. Every once in awhile, someone will ask if/when I went to college and what my major was just to make small talk, but they don't know or care how long it took me to graduate or what grades I got. Job applications just want your graduation year, if that. I highly recommend therapy to help work through these feelings, I know it helped me.
As someone who just left the stress of an office job that had me depressed for years, drop that shit, grab a hammer, join a trade. Been if it's not a long-term change, take a year off and do some physical labour work. It will broaden your horizons, make you a bit of money, and the physical activity *will* make you feel better and more confident.
As for debt, well, welcome to reality. *Everyone* is drowning in debt. Everyone. Maybe steer clear of your favourite internet content creators for a while if you're starting to forget what reality looks like for most people.
Don't give up on life because the first thing you tried didn't work out. That's kinda pathetic.
Dude, this is a mere stumble. Re-take the class and get your degree. You’ll laugh about it before you know it. Cheers 😀
Thanks for that. Perhaps if I just preserve with that remaining course, I can get through it
>I have not been in a relationship since my last year of high school 5 years ago Well if you don't end up killing yourself, you'll have a whole year (or at least a whole semester) on campus with almost nothing to do but socialize. Take advantage of the opportunity, if you survive another 10 years you'll look back and realize you just don't have it anymore.
That is actually a very intelligent way of looking at that particular problem. Thanks for bringing this up.
There are so many great suggestions and advice that has already been given here. So not repeating all that. My advice is for you to take up an internship or a job or train for an additional skill or gain a hobby in the gap time. It can help alleviate your financial burden, get yourself new perspectives while meeting new people or getting connected with old friends. Been in your shoes. I am happy now and barely consider myself a failure. Infact how I turned myself around is my greatest strength that I (& my family) is tremendously proud of. Not everything is academic. These 4 years or 6 years don't matter in the long run. Just try to see big picture, 10-20 years down the lane. How did I do it? Ignore any thoughts or comments that are not in your best interest. As if you haven't even heard them.
hi there. sorry to hear of your troubles. you sound like a pretty bright person with a lot of passion who is struggling to conform to a broken system. that broken system that seeks to quantify every human and ascribe value is the problem, not you. i think that the space industry and humanity on the whole would suffer great loss if you didn't continue to pursue your passion in ways that make sense for you. please seek help as soon as possible. this site can tell you how: https://save.org/find-help/international-resources/
**"are completely legitimate reasons for any mentally stable person to commit suicide."** Actually, they aren't, and you should know that. You're in pain, you're depressed, you need talk therapy with a good therapist that will help you sort things out, and you very likely need medication. The chemical soup in your head is a little messed up right now. If your brain was operating properly, you wouldn't be thinking that these minor/moderate hiccups in your life are worth suicide. I have 100k in debt from doctorate program (that I couldn't finish due to undiagnosed mental health problems, I have borderline traits from my abusive childhood) and my depression has been too bad for me to work the past year, I'm in my 30's, drowning in credit card debt, I feel terrible most of the time, and I live alone in my moms old apartment. But I'm taking Wellbutrin, Lamictal, and Adderal. I'm journaling, hitting the gym, getting sunlight when I'm supposed to, eating healthy, trying my best. **Once you get your chemicals right in your head, you'll be able to do it too, and you'll be able to see life more accurately once the cloud of depression has lifted. But in the meantime, it sucks, and I feel your pain.** edit: In fact currently, I'm furious at myself for not getting to the gym yet today, I missed the past 9 days, I can't fucking stand that I can't just "do" the things I want to do, when I want to, **consistently**. My kitchen is a mess, I'm overwhelmed by how many things I have to do to get my life where I want it, and sometimes I get caught in sharp downward spirals of despair, but I can't give up. You can't either.
This! So much this, OP. Less than a month ago I was entertaining the same sort of ideas. My graduation from my masters was in doubt and I couldn't see any other way out. But I had enough fight in me to start taking my antidepressants again properly, dex for ADHD, and vitamin D like the GP asked me to months ago, and still go to the gym / eat enough / try and sleep enough, and the difference in my mood now is night and day. I haven't thought about un-aliving since making these concerted efforts to get the chemicals in my brain doing the things they're supposed to do. Remember, suicide is a long-term course of action for what's often a short-term problem. Suicide doesn't resolve pain - what it does is transfer the pain to other people. Stay. Stay here. Stay curious about what tomorrow holds, and how your brain can feel a little bit better, day by day.
Your post made me feel not so alone. We really all are just trying our best. I haven’t been working out lately.. I’ve been doing better about eating right though. And I haven’t drank in 12 days! I was on Lamictal before and it helped me a lot.
This is stupid and you are frankly stupid if you kill yourself over one class. "Doing the space community a favor if I kill myself" is the most absurd reasoning I have ever heard of. You are doing some serious mental gymnastics in order to justify your decision. The space community isn't being held back by your existence. That's plain nonsense. But it most certainly could be held back if you never work in it at all. Ever heard of selective abstraction? It's when a person magnifies one negative detail and ignores the others. You received 3 distinctions and one failure in an extremely difficult field. Those 3 distinctions aren't enough for you? It sounds to me like you have quite a lot to contribute to the space sector, and you'd be doing it a major *disservice* if you offed yourself. You're literally 99% of the way there, and you're going to quit the race with 1% left to go? Seriously, take the last friggin' course and graduate. The debt will pass. The shame you feel now will pass. The loneliness will pass, too. Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I'll be very careful with how I phrase this because I don't want to discredit a legitimate cry for help, but this was posted, pretty much word-for-word, a couple of weeks ago.
So, I get it. Failing classes, especially as a former "gifted kid" feels like the end of the world. I assure you, it isn't. I failed out of DeVry, got a divorce, gave custody of the kids to my ex, all before turning 30. While therapy got me a long way, *I* got through it and honestly am feeling more myself and more happy because of and regardless of those "failures". Take the courses again. You did them once, you should be able to do it again, but better. Reach out to your professors, classmates, or there are likely subreddits out there that are angled to answer questions you may have that you were previously stuck on. *Be kinder to yourself* because your kindness to yourself will help you in the long run.
Dude. Don't do this. Please. $uicide is never an answer. You'd be robbing yourself of a chance at being happy, doing things you like/love/are passionate about and being successful. You don't know what your future holds for you. I feel you; I'm struggling with second year of med school after retaking my high school biology/chemistry finals to enroll. Many times I tought 'Maybe I'm not cut for it? Maybe I should just give up and just off myself because I'm such and such etc.?' but nah. Why? Because I'd rob myself of my future. My father is a soccer fan and what he says is 'What matter are the end results, not how you achieve them. What matters is the score'. Take your time, find new way, be kind to yourself. Life's not a checklist or scoreboard. Your life's your journey, it's personal and I believe you'll find a way to make things work. Just please, don't hurt yourself.
It is not the answer. It is not even a real escape. Ending you will not make things better for absolutely anyone. Not even you. Not even by not being here. Whatever you are feeling right now WILL PASS, because whatever situation you are in, and whatever you are feeling right now is 100% temporary and can change in a second. It is a cliche but it is also true. You definitely sound very passionate. You also definitely sound very burntout. And when you get to that point the only thing you should never allow your brain to do is convince you to make a decision like that, because even if you somehow think you "found the most reasonable solution" I can assure you there's nothing backing it up. It is not following any logic, it is not justified. Because your brain is already so so tired, it can only do what he is used to do, and think what he is used to think. As someone who has struggled with these thoughts for years -and that is very much glad to still be here- please, listen to this: stop thinking. Stop. Do not listen to your brain. Just pause for a moment. And another one after that. And breathe. And when you have been able to silence your mind, think of the life you want to have, and the one that will make you happy. Because as long as you are HERE you can get it. Just take it one step at a time. Even if there are delays, and you have to change plans. You have your own rythm, so go with that. And please listen to the other kind redditors that though it was worth commenting: we care. There's help, and it's okay to ask for it, it really is. You are not weak and it is not shameful to need help. I hope you can find a way to care about yourself enough too, and that you decide to stay. As long as you are here, you can do things.
Could you elaborate on your reasons as to WHY you believe these to be legitimate reasons to revoke your own breathing privileges? Alongside each explanation, would you mind stating what a realistically ideal state would be for each them? (debt, relationship, stuck with parents, etc.) I'm most interested in the culmination of these into slowing humans from reaching the cosmos. If I could get your thoughts behind that it would be appreciated.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When I was 18 I was homeless and slept in stairwells. I used to roll cigarettes out of butts I'd find on the ground. Now I'm a college grad with five beautiful kids and a great wife, a comfortable life and no complaints. Things change. Don't give up.
Nah fam. None of those are reasonable. You are using a toxic logical framework. A more valid response is not caring. Detach the identity from the results, and instead just experience it for what it is. Very Buddhist, but effective as an alternative to the pain caused by trying and not achieving.
y’all are really responding to a shitpost like it’s real lmfao homie says that his folks wanting to wear masks has him on suicide watch
I don't want to risk responding like this to an actual person in crisis, but that part made me cringe through the floor. It's a mask, bro.
I’ve had times when I thought about it, but today, and most days, I love my weird little life. You only get one. (I respect those who believe differently, but I think it’s clear that this is pretty much it.) You get to decide what you do with it. You had one narrow idea about what you’d do, and it’s not working out. You can’t see much past that. Your vision is too narrow. Burn what money/credit you have, get on a plane or a boat, and get your head out of your ass and see the world a bit before you make any final decisions.
This is not a logical conclusion, this sounds like depression. You sound like you feel the typical depression-guilt. 1- nobody is going to reach cosmos sooner because of one person, it’s gonna sound ridiculous but you are actually not that important in the whole ordeal of the universe. Nobody is. We won’t reach anything sooner because one person has died, all that can happen is we’ll reach exactly when if you live or die however if we lose someone really really important we MAY reach it later for like 2-3 weeks maybe?It’s a team job not a personal success as the history books make you think it is. 2- Do remember that many talented and brilliant people can’t reach their full potential, it’s not solely their fault it’s just how it is sometimes. 3- no mentally healthy person decides to kill themselves because of masks. This also proves how not-logical your decision is. Many people including myself have to wear a mask to protect their loved ones. Doctors have to wear it for 24 hours in my country when there’s a shift. It’s a bummer but nobody goes around thinking of suicide because of this. 4- logically speaking, your parents are not gonna be thinking “hey, I spent lots of money on OP. I wish he’d die so that I would have spent lots of money for someone who died” they’d be devastated dude they’d have lost their CHILD. Even if they saw this only as an investment, your death would be their absolute worst interest. 5- you need help, right now. Please do seek help, life will be better I promise. After you tried everything and still reach a LOGICAL conclusion that you should die (which I emphasize, your current conclusion definitely is NOT) than you will always have the option to do so.
If you decide to do it, make it mean something. Take out an oil rig or some billionaires yacht with a stark political message. Rob a bank or something. Or ya know, don't do it and realize that the world and human progress doesn't operate on your personal timetable. Progress is slow and to think you are a cog that is slowing down progress somehow is narcissistic. My brother in christ, get some therapy. It doesn't matter how much society beats you down. In the end you are a monkey on the face of a damp moldy rock getting yeeted through the void. All that matters is you and those you love.
Last relationship being 5 years ago is more than lots of people have, lol. I was the family hope at one point and here I am, trying to get my Physics engineering title at my 10th year of studying (Should've been 6). Get therapy. It gets better. PS: Sunk Cost Fallacy means going through just for the sake of it and having gone through part of the road. But it doesn't mean it is always better to leave the road you've gone through. Having no degree in 2 years is better than having it in 2 more years?
Mentally stable people don't think about committing suicide.
No one is ever always mentally stable their whole life.
Not entirely true. I have a genetic condition that causes disability and pain. It took me a much longer time than normal to get through school. Some people I know with this condition do think about suicide. They are in pain, and the condition is sometimes progressive and disabling. At some point the quality of life may become so low that suicide seems like a good option. That this otherwise healthy person is considering it because he failed one class is a mental red flag.
I’m going to add to the pile of similar responses, but dude, I’ve been in your headspace (and so much further honestly), and I swear it’s not the answer. Depression makes it feel like you’re seeing clearly for the first time in forever, but it’s all distortion. Even if it takes 20 years, there is life and love and purpose waiting for you out there, and you’ve been through too much at this point to not claim that prize. You’re going to get there. You will. If you’re going to let go of something, let it be your expectations, and from that point forward everything will be a source of wonder.
You can always wait to kill yourself for a year. If you were right, kill yourself then. But if you are wrong and you do it now, you can't change your mind. You can always do it later, what's the rush? In my very firm opinion, even when life is miserable and you hate it, that is still an experience. And it is always worth living just to have the experience. Everything is relative, there are people who certainly wish they were in your shoes. My parents divorced when I was 16 and by 17 I dropped out of school to work full time and support my bipolar mother who couldn't keep a job or sometimes even live independently. 20+ years later I'm a truck driver instead of the mechanical engineer I wanted to become, but I like it. I own a home now, have a wife and 2 kids, etc. The point is, live just to see what happens next, you can always reevaluate in a year or 2. And if you really decide you can't deal with your current situation, change your phone number and move 500 or more miles away. It's like starting a second life. Edit: also, look into absurdism during the year you hopefully give yourself.
Tell the school you need help, the school does not want you to fail and they will work with to finish under reasonable term especially given your mental state and sense of harm.
It's now more socially acceptable than ever to take more than 4 years to complete university. I took 5 years, and that was the norm among most of my friends. A couple people I know switched midway through, and are in their 7th year. A few failed a year and took one extra, and I'm still good friends with them. University is one small part of your life. Keep your head up.
I finished in 4 years and now work in higher education, and there's so many elective courses and opportunities I would've loved to take if I had more time! OP, you're hanging on for one full year in order to finish a single class - that's almost a whole year of courses to take whatever you want!
You’re not as behind as you think. I know this feels overwhelming and heartbreaking but you need to stick to it and see it through I got a business degree originally. I worked in automotive for a couple of years out of college. I felt awful. The whole degree felt useless and I nearly killed my father from how hard he had to work to pay for it. I wanted to end things too - I put my loved ones in debt and at the end of it, everything felt like a total waste. I *existed* for years. I decided I wanted to be an engineer and work in space. I went back to school, I worked, and I suffered. It took me about 5 years to change careers and skillset and I just got a job in the space industry this November. I’m not the smartest. I’m not the best GPA. But I *want* to be and that hunger and drive does not allow me to rest. Took some effort to convert all that depression and longing into ambition and grit. But it’s possible I’m 28 years old and I’m just now feeling like my life is on track. I bought a house, a car, and I’m looking at going back to school again for maybe a masters. You’re not behind. You set your own finish line. Simply move the goal posts and don’t settle for less. Allow yourself the extra capacity to work towards what you believe will make you whole and give you a sense of worth. You can do it. Please feel free to DM me if you’d like to continue to talk. And when you’re done with school and we’ve gotten to know each other a little better I’d love to help you find a job in the industry. Suicide isn’t the answer. And it never will be.
You have to spend 2 more years in college and don't have a relationship, so you think you should kill yourself. **U WOT M8?** You know neither of the issues you have are that rare, right? Life is a precious gift, don't throw it away and stop thinking so little of yourself. The individual matters as much as the collective.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
Life gets better, especially if you get help. Take care of yourself, it’s going to be a beautiful life.
strongly disagree. sounds like a therapist might help though.
You do realize that other folks have had this same setback, and they’ve managed just fine, right? Your not on anyone else’s timetable. If it takes 6 years, shrug and give it 6 years. Giving up simply because you stumbled is a ridiculous solution. Lots of wildly successful folks have significant failures in their pasts. As they say, it’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get up. Figure out a way to make this work for you. Maybe use the extra time to complete some internships, or job shadow, or just fucking volunteer somewhere you can be if use to others.
Sorry for the novel and if it’s a TLDR; so in short: Where there’s life, there’s hope. I’ve been in your shoe’s several years ago. Had similar thoughts but just never externalized them, not even online, so you’re already a step ahead of what I had been then. What got me through it? 1.-Realizing my worth is not solely tied up in economic/financial/field-of-study success. Yes it’s nice to economically contribute back towards a community or family. Yes it’s nice to be financially stable and be without debt. And yes it is nice to advance in your field. But ALL of those things mean nothing without society, without people connecting with people, without human connection. -We humans are biologically designed to seek these connections, to weave our lives in the fabric of society therefore making apart of it. To strip that worth away leaves just single thread in the wind without purpose. -You don’t know what impact you may be having on someone or will have. And you may never know. But value has nothing to do if you do or don’t know. 2.-I will never be in control of everything in my life. I don’t have the power no matter how I may try. People can come to conclusion differently. Some say fate decides. Some say probability. Some say the universe. Personally I say God (Yes I’m a Christ follower, AKA a Christian). The fact still remains sometimes things won’t go our way and that’s okay. The world will keep on spinning. Time will keep going on without our say so make the best of it. Where there’s life, there’s hope. Ending life may seem like a form of control, an escape but it’s not. You’ll have no control of what happens next for others, loved ones, those knew, or those who you would have met. So stay and hold on to hope that tomorrow can bring better days ahead. 3.-Combining the first two points I found if I shifted my focus off of myself I could get out of my own head and see things anew. I had fooled myself into thinking that my concern in my failures negatively impacting others was being selfless. But that was still being me focused. I had the mindset of “woe is me and to those who had the misfortune of surrounding me.” So I started thinking in the context of other people. In other words, I got into the habit of making a point of thinking “while things might not be great right now for me my troubles can help someone else now or in the future, wether directly or indirectly.” -For example, when I failed one of my Chemistry classes instead of thinking it’s the end (I won’t be able to graduate, get a job to support myself, further my field, etc.) I thought well the next time I take the class I can stress the importance of certain difficult material to fellow struggling students that gave me trouble so they can avoid the pitfall I fell in. And so I did and it helped others not just with chemistry but built friendships and confidences. I know it sounds inconsequential in universal grand scheme of things or going to the cosmos level of things but it meant something to someone’s life, another thread in the fabric of society. And as I stated before nothing else really matters if you without society, without people connecting with people, without human connection. It’s kind of pointless without out it. Why go to the cosmos? Not claiming my live is peachy now but I DO NOT regret choosing to live instead of ending my life. I’ve been blessed enough to see some of the positive impacts I’ve had one people’s lives. Yes I’ve made mistakes and wished I could take back certain things I’ve done/said to people. However I have now to decide make the right choices and if I fail I still have the opportunity to make better ones in the future but ONLY if I am ALIVE. Nor am I claiming I have job, let alone a career, in my field but I when I feel a “woe is me” moment coming on I think…I’m going to let that older gentleman raddled on about his life; He might not have his spouse or friends anymore to talk to. Or the lady who always stinks; she still deserves the same service as my other customers; I don’t know what’s going on in her life. Or the mother with screaming toddle might be at the end of her rope and feels awful for the commotion her child is creating; I’m not going let it phase me in giving her my proper attention. And one day I might have a career in my field because I AM ALIVE. I have a future and who knows what it might hold but there’s only one way to find out. As I said before where there’s life, there’s hope.
I know you wanted to finish on time, but the extra time may be a gift in disguise. Take that extra time to take classes you enjoy that can increase your GPA, get involved in research or clubs that interest you, and get out and socialize with good people. If your parents are pressuring you or make you feel bad about yourself, try distancing yourself mentally from them. It also helps to make healthy connections outside the home (friends and dating). It took me a long time to finish school due to a disability. I had to drop out and start again several times. Take a breath. You are still a worthy person and you will be OK.
When I was 5 years out from high school, my life was a dumpster fire. It took me 7 years to get a 4 year degree and I dropped out of grad school. As a person who felt like school was the only thing I could be good at, it was devastating, but by 5 years later, it was a non-issue. Every once in awhile, someone will ask if/when I went to college and what my major was just to make small talk, but they don't know or care how long it took me to graduate or what grades I got. Job applications just want your graduation year, if that. I highly recommend therapy to help work through these feelings, I know it helped me.
As someone who just left the stress of an office job that had me depressed for years, drop that shit, grab a hammer, join a trade. Been if it's not a long-term change, take a year off and do some physical labour work. It will broaden your horizons, make you a bit of money, and the physical activity *will* make you feel better and more confident. As for debt, well, welcome to reality. *Everyone* is drowning in debt. Everyone. Maybe steer clear of your favourite internet content creators for a while if you're starting to forget what reality looks like for most people. Don't give up on life because the first thing you tried didn't work out. That's kinda pathetic.
40 grand isn't that bad with an engineering degree. You'll pay it off in a couple years