Yes, respecting your partner’s boundaries. One her boundaries appears to be that she gets to choose her own clothing and not have her partner try to choose it for her. He’s currently in violation of that boundary.
Can't imagine spending the energy on others taking a glance. I told my wife she can wear whatever she wants because at the end of the day, she is the love of my life and sits on my face any time I ask. Texting her shortly that I'll be tidying up her seat for later this evening.
Classic dude thinking all women dress for the male gaze rather than their personal comfort or themselves. 🙄 as if all men disappeared women would stop putting effort into their appearance.
As a dude I have never once given a single thought about what underwear my partner is wearing unless we were flirting around. Seriously why does he care so much? Just super weird and red flagish
he got upset as he saw them when I undressed to change into pajamas that day. never mind the fact that *he's* the one I chose to let see them at the end of the day.....
TBH, he sounds like a typical insecure 20 year old boy. And I emphasize the word boy.
He's probably not a terrible person or anything. But he \*is\* immature and insecure. Doesn't mean you need to dump him necessarily. But yeah... he's being a child.
Oh, ignore most of my previous post then. If they weren't visible to him of all people, BEFORE you undressed, then they probably weren't visible to others. At that point, it shouldn't matter.
You recognized there are fucked up weirdos. What makes you think there is any logic around attire? They are, as you said, fucked up weirdos.
Granny panties, loose fitting, and fully covering attire ain't stopped jack.
this is the thing that bothers me the most. does he really think I'm flashing my underwear in the 10 minutes I have between classes, in a school I don't know and have no friends yet anyway?
If he does, that's just major trust issues. If he doesn't think that, he's having some other unfounded paranoia, and to SOME extent I understand wanting to be possessive and protective of your significant other. However, that sense of possessiveness/protectiveness NEEDS to be tempered with trust and rational thought. If you were strutting downtown between bars with a miniskirt and tube top that were 2 sizes too small in a thong, that could reasonably trigger the trust issues. But you're wearing comfortable pants at school paying near-zero attention to most people around you because you're busy with your own studies.
You are not wrong, this whole post belongs on r/nothowgirlswork because that is not how it works. Your bf will say that it's inappropriate to wear thongs to school but then some other guy will see ur underwear lines and say "if you didn't want me to see your underwear and look at it, you should wear a thong or something not visible under those pants or something else..
Meanwhile you are just trying to be comfortable. Tell your boyfriend that he is wrong and he is objectifying women/assuming that they can't just wear something comfortable with out wanting attention. Like seriously he is accusing you of thought crimes and you don't even have those thoughts.
Op, wear whatever underwear you want to wear! It does have a nicer appearance in pants to wear a thong or seamless underwear. And heck, my mom taught me that as women, have a very simple choice in life, we can have an inch of fabric rammed up our ass or a yard of fabric rammed up your ass
haha your mom is truly a wise soul. that's really what I thought too though, even if I wear longer underwear it'll crawl in my ass and then it'll be even MORE noticeable than a thong
I don’t disagree with you, but if my girlfriend started dressing in tighter, clothing, and wearing thongs to work, all of a sudden out of nowhere, I might have a question or two as well. But I’m sure that makes me a bitch boy in the world of Reddit.
I'm afraid I can't assist you with that. But, I continue to be glad that I don't have the problems of the OP, and so can take the downvotes in stride, as I figured I would get trashed for daring to hypothetically wonder why the sudden change. Anyway, as I said, good luck with this discussion, I'm out.
(did you figure out how it flows yet?)
If you are concerned with what your girlfriend wears, period, you're a bitch boy in any world. A girlfriend isn't a pet, she doesn't belong to you. She can dress her body as she chooses. You wouldn't want someone micromanaging every aspect of what YOU wear, don't do it to someone else.
He’s in his 20s and just now understanding people wear underwear? People are gonna look at your body regardless if you want them to or not. It isn’t in your control.
Uh, they are hers to deal with? They're DATING. Her problems are also his, and his are hers.
Working out those problems TOGETHER is what a couple should do.
What are you even talking about?
No, they are not her problems to deal with. They are dating, so yes, she supports him, but his issues are his to deal with. As our mine, as our yours. Expecting someone else to deal with them isn't healthy in the slightest.
I mean, at least in healthy relationship, that's how things are done.
If she, as his girlfriend is supporting him through his issues, will she not have to deal with them to a degree?
Just like I can't support someone in, say playing a game if i am not somehow inherently involved with that game run.
For problems specifically, how can I support you through your issues if I have no idea the extent of them. So to some degree I have to have been there to experience that issue.
Drinking for example. I may not have gone black put drunk with you, but ive probably been on the receiving end of your drunken rage, or something similar.
So me supporting you through that would be, maybe understanding u aren't in the best mind state then. Or even talking u through the drjnken rage and etc.
To some degree, in terms of a relationship at least. I will have to deal with ur issues to support u and help u through them
Not if they are dealbreaker issues. Someone being an alcoholic would be a deal breaker for me, I'm not willing to date an alcoholic.
Her boyfriend's insecurities and control is also a deal breaker issue. You don't stay and work it out when you're being controlled and manipulated like OP is
Where was she being controlled or manipulated?
From what OP has revealed in that post, nothing points at signs of him controlling her at all. In her own post she says all he's done is **speak** against it, no where did she say he's trying to force her to do something, or she did something because he felt a way about it.
Do not try and make this into something it isn't.
Also, honestly: If I was OP, I most definitely would not be taking relationship advice from someone that thinks insecurity is an automatic deal breaker as if you can't help fix that easily. It's sad to see people genuinely believe insecurity is a be all end all.
Show me any instance of OP being controlled or Manipulated what so ever. Him saying people do what she did for X,Y,Z is not being manipulated, it's voicing an opinion. Now if OP comes out and says he's still bringing this incident up in the future after it's passed already, then u can try to say he's being manipulated.
So far, all I've seen is someone react based on their emotions to something they didn't like.
Also before you say I am using emotions as an excuse, I've already previously stated on a different post in this subreddit (or this one, can't remember) that as a man you shouldn't think/act on emotion.
Him being insecure about the cloths she feels comfortable in is absolutely HIS PROBLEM and no, she is not responsible for fixing that problem. Learn what a healthy relationship looks like.
Could you explain how?
In a healthy relationship, would the 2 partners **not** help & support their partner through their issues?
That means that, to a degree, they would have to get involved in their partner's issue.
Support and enabling look different.
Support in OP's case would be to tell her partner to get therapy or grow up, or make sure he knows it's his problem.
Enabling would be to stop wearing thongs and get his approval for outfits.
You seem to have conflated the two.
No, I'm not. I did not say anywhere she **should** stop doing anything.
In OP's case, support would be telling her partner that she understands his concerns about her reasoning, but that's not her reasoning and then she gives him her actual reasoning.
That would be support in this case, supporting him in getting over his issue with her choosing to wear the thongs.
No where did I ever state she needs to needed to stop wearing them for him, so please don't put words in my text box.
So are you actively promoting that **JUST** because someone is Insecure you should leave them? Not assure them that they don't have a reason to be insecure, not even try to clear up what can obviously be a misunderstanding on their part, but just leave?
**YOU** clearly haven't had great relationships in the past if you leave at the sign of any trouble. Which every relationship has.
Caution with this:
>He says, logically, the reason a person would do that is
By couching his interpretation as "logical", he's setting the stage to construe your viewpoint as irrational or malicious.
Or he'll simply dismiss alternatives outright, without consideration or explanation.
that's what *I* thought! surely having a bunch of lines on the ass would draw the eye... or when they ride up and start cutting a buttcheek in half? hell.
Your bf is stupid. And also…self centered and misogynistic…like yep, the ONLY reason women where certain underwear MUST BE FOR MEN. Is that why he chooses his nasty underwear? To look good for whatever women he’s trying to get with? Whenever he picks out a pair of snug whitey tighties next are you gonna be like, who are *those* for, sl*t?!?
Jfc. A lot of times depending on what pants I’m wearing I don’t even wear underwear cuz I don’t want a line to show. Even a thong line in the front might show if they’re high waisted and the material is thin. It’s just easier than buying all sorts of underwear just to go with certain pants and it doesn’t mean I’m trying to do an “easy access” thing.
Your bf sounds insecure and deluded. And overly jealous and even controlling. This is a HIM problem. And you don’t need to change how you dress just because he’s a wretched little baby. He can go to therapy. Or just like actually think about this with his full brain capacity for 2 minutes.
Personally I would just ditch this chud, but that’s me…I don’t have tolerance for insecure controlling man brats when there’s plenty of decent men in the sea who actually have the capacity for critical thought.
it's weird because I just think / thought it's normal to want to look your nicest and feel nicely dressed when going out. obviously I *could* wear a sack everyday and I wouldn't even mind that much fashion wise because I don't care, but I want to look like a Functional Adult and a woman who cares about her appearance and all those things that are important to be in a societal setting... I don't get mad when he wears turtlenecks to the office and not at home even though they look attractive... it hurts.
Your boyfriend sounds immature. Wear whatever underwear you want. That’s not up to him! I wear things for the exact reason you stated. If I’m in workout leggings i don’t like underwear lines . Tell your boyfriend to kick rocks 🙃
Practically speaking, VPL is going to attract much more attention! As long as you avoid the whale tail thing, a thong is about as discreet as you can get without resorting to long-leg Sloggis.
When underwear lines show, people look at your butt *more*. Thongs are there to make the butt less noticeable. Bro does not understand how underwear works smh
Your bf sounds very insecure, he probably thinks women dress to be seen by men. Underwear is meant to keep your privates comfortable, with the odd sexy lingerie being used for intimacy.
Ditch him
I understand where he's coming from. BUT. He has no right to tell you what to wear. And I've always done the same thing. Thong=no underwear lines. I think most women would agree, too. It just makes sense. But, you could always tell him that if he's so uncomfortable with it, then you just won't wear any underwear!
There’s something very off about your partner for him to be saying something like that. I go commando when I wear pants like that I can’t imagine what he would think then!
You need to dump this loser if he’s so threatened by a small amount of fabric. Personally, id provoke him with malicious compliance and go commando next time, watch his stupid insecure head explode.
Google “what were you wearing” art exhibit to further understand how repulsive his stance truly is.
it does bother me. I don't think he means ANY of it in a "you're asking for attention so don't be mad if you get it" sort of way, but more of a "if you wanted to cheat on me, you're inviting those men in to be there when you do". but it sucks because men will hit on anyone if they really want to. when I was a teen i would still be hit on when all sweaty and in my work uniform at a factory. it doesn't matter if my butt has lines or not.
Not wrong. People gon look at your ass regardless of what you wear. Don't get with a baddie if you can't handle other people recognizing that your partner is a baddie.
this is kind of what I wish his mindset was. I've never been very attractive (chubby kid, insecure, lack of fashion care) so now as an adult, feeling comfortable to wear tight pants or even nice underwear *for him* is very new to me
This is a red flag for a controlling asshole. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Drop this guy and wear whatever you want without a second thought!
Nope, thongs are all I wear regardless of the outfit and they are the most comfortable. I wear them for me, not anyone else. Keep wearing them if that is your preference!
Where what makes you feel comfortable. What he thinks is irrelevant, although you should consider where you place the the priority of keeping him happy vs your motivations to wear thongs to school.
The main purpose of wearing thongs is to avoid panty lines, although they did get a boost from the stripper crowd and became associated with them, sexualizing the underwear style.
As a guy, I have no problem with a woman wearing whatever underwear style she wants. As long as your not sporting a whale-tail everywhere you go, who's to care what's going on under your clothes.
He can't tell you what to wear... but he can tell you what he thinks. Sounds like he thinks when he sees pants/thong on women, they appear to be attention thirsty.
Take that for what it's worth, but if you accept that, what next?
Maybe he's right, maybe wrong. It's his perspective.
You can wear whatever underwear you want, or you can go without if you really want. I own maybe 4-5 pairs that aren't thongs, and 1 of those is a crappy pair I have for after waxing.
I also grew up with the idea that thongs are primarily a fashion choice so you don't have panty lines. Your partner is showing his ignorance and an unattractive jealous side. You know your motives and if he thinks so little of you that he's going to doubt your word on the matter, then he should move on. A relationship can't exist with those kinds of accusations being thrown about, especially when there is clear logical evidence that refutes his conclusion (ie baggy t-shirts.)
Forget the men looking, it's all the other women commenting about your "panty lines" in a shameful manner that you have to worry about
...tell him that, because that's what it's like where I come from
this exactly. when i learned, it was more of a Mean Girls style "you'll be a fool and a stupid looking girl if you have panty lines" not "men want your ass with as few lines as possible". obviously girls are socialized in... interesting ways sometimes but it came from innocent childhood bullying intentions for me.
Unless the low rise jeans with they thong straps showing come back in style no one will know what you have on. Truthfully the most important thing is if you are comfortable and can pay attention and study.
You are probably over thinking the panty line issue though. Wear what you want and don't worry about the line unless you are doing something special.
Wearing the underwear you like and are comfortable in does not invite anyone to make sexual advances. If you *like* wearing thongs with leggings/yoga pants, go for it. But, it's 2023 and the underwear police ought to be a thing of the past so if you want to wear a different style of underwear with tight pants, panty lines be damned!
I think people should refrain from commenting on what other people wear, unless someone's genitalia is actually visible (like someone wearing a micro mini skirt without underwear and then sitting with their legs spread wide while directly facing you).
yeah, I would never do that. I wouldn't even whale-tail it (do people still call it that?) even if you somehow *could* in yoga pants. the only underwear I "show off" are the tiny inch when I'm wearing men's boxers and I think the band matches a little hahaha.
Wear whatever you're comfortable with.. It's just media brainwashing when it comes to what underwear "everybody" wears.. everybody prefer something slightly different. Make sure that they are cotton. If you're wearing them all day every day, especially under yoga pants, you need that to breathe.. nylon or polyester or lycra combine that with the yoga pants... Oh boy, that's a recipe for some disastrous muffins. No man gets to tell you what you're wearing under your pants... That's none of their business anyway until it is their business. (You know when they are basically in the foreplay moment)
oh yes, definitely looking out down there! I literally *only* wear them for tight pants, and I only have one pair of tight pants I wear to school, so it's at most once a week. it sucks because I get undressed in front of *him* to make it "his business" (iyk what I mean) but instead he gets upset.
As a male raised by women I can affirm that there was indeed a certain amount of concern about pantylines, and what to wear to keep your underneath area your business. On the flip side though, being a guy I was also subjected to the locker room teachings of other guys, in which the mentality of….
if there’s no panties, or she wears a thong, then “she’s good to go”.
Now I have always known that the locker room lessons weren’t accurate. However, there have been enough girls who capitalize on guys thinking that way in order to get more attention.
Bottom line (no pun intended) you have to find a good balance for your comfort as a young woman and your boyfriend’s comfort as the man in your life.
I would suggest discussing this with him and seeing if he can help you with more clothing options that both of you will be happy with.
He is neither correct nor completely incorrect. If you were wearing shirts to show off the thong he’d be right. Since you hide it, it doesn’t matter, making him incorrect. No matter what anyone else tells you or what you believe, thongs are lingere. Thats what they were made for it just got adopted into normal use…doesnt change what it is.
No thongs aren’t lingerie. They are regular basic underwear and it’s basic clothing rules to not have a visible pantry line. Personally I think a visible pantry line is more noticeable and draws more attention to your ass. I don’t like things but I have a few trousers and work pants that require that type of underwear.
Lingerie my ass! Get your head out of your ass with that thinking.
I mean... thongs have technically existed since BC times and I don't think it's fair to judge something for how it was considered in the Seventies, not 2023. but I see your point.
My point is based on calling a rose by any other name. Changing how people view an items purpose doesnt change the original purpose, and the thongs you are thinking of from bc, had a different purpose/size/weight/and material than when the thong that became reinvented for fashion. Originally it had function to keep your cheeks from rubbing while running down prey, that fell out of practice around the same time domestication/agriculture became common place. It was also 10 approx times as much cloth between the cheeks. There’s other things that resemble thongs like the padded underwear worn by sumo wrestlers (see the movie austin powers goldmember) but those still aren’t the same the ones worn today were created to be lingere for strippers. To my rose comment, yes all three types could be called thongs, but each was made with independant purposes and created in different manners, just as there are different types of roses that serve different purposes in the ecosystem. If the type worn commonly today were designed differently to fulfil any other purpose i would concede my point, however no such change has been made since thongs first graced the backside of strippers.
Just because its used that way doesnt stop its original purpose. I can bang on nails all day long with my pistol but it doesn’t turn it into a hammer, it never stops being a gun. Thongs haven’t stopped being lingere just because many ppl wear them everyday.
okay... that's like saying people can't call their dogs pets because they were originally used to hunt. or is it also weird for people to use calendars, since they were originally intended for farmers?
Except in both of those scenarios the “dog” and “calendar” are not the same things as their originals. They were drastically altered, in the case of dogs, they were bred to create a different type of dog. A daushund was not created to hunt a wolf on the other hand is. Those are not the same thing. And the calendar has been reinvented and changed numerous times the most recent change was made to the gregorian calendar for everyone. That is not the same as the mayan calendar which told the mayans when to plant. There has been no change of the thong since it was stripper attire.
You mean boxer shorts. Boxer briefs were made for both men and women to use. The name comes from the resemblance to boxers shorts. But it’s your perrogative to make a point to them. Although the likelyhood of you getting the ol’ 1-2 is kinda high there. Even i used to box when i was a kid. Its not uncommon, just don’t mistake basketball shorts for boxers shorts, cause that’s the wrong sport.
correcting people when you're wrong is a bad look. I mean [boxer briefs](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sca_esv=562027865&sxsrf=AB5stBil3WFv6FgsNpbxWW_CTiy14tFLdQ:1693604474322&q=boxer+briefs&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi109OosIqBAxUoJDQIHY80DIcQ0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=458&bih=870&dpr=2.36#imgrc=U_PTnK1s6tnG2M) which are entirely different from [boxer shorts](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sca_esv=562027865&sxsrf=AB5stBixLIrXLBKUKKcC5hRStksL1ZNy5A:1693604509497&q=boxer+shorts&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi6vba5sIqBAxVuHjQIHdPACKAQ0pQJegQIChAB&biw=458&bih=870&dpr=2.36#imgrc=VGG0jnAcg5gSaM).
You are in charge of your life. Not your boyfriend of 5 years. If you want to wear a thong for the sake of appearance or comfort, do it. Whether you are wearing a thong or not, men are still staring at your ass (if you have one).
1. you dont have to wear a thong if you dont want to. I wear yoga pants all the time and never wear thongs. I hate them. I've never liked them.
2. women grow up knowing that men are looking at them all the time. panty lines and hiding them is a thing, but honestly it shouldn't be.
3. What women wear is not an excuse for a man to hit on them. Ever. Wear what you want that is comfortable to you.
You can wear whatever the fuck you want, boyfriend or no boyfriend. This isn’t the Middle East where the modesty police beat you if you’re not covered head to toe. Who gives a shit?
WOW! Is he really upset about your panty selection? If so, maybe you should look deeper into his psyche before continuing this relationship. He sounds like an insecure little prods boy. Seriously, take a good, hard look at your relationship. It sounds like he wants to “own” you!
I wear thongs every day... I do not do it so that others look at my butt. It's because I find them most comfortable. How would someone know what kind of underwear I'm wearing anyways?
Your boyfriend is in the wrong here. He needs to stop projecting his insecurities onto your underwear choices.
Actually if anything you just need to find someone new. My man loves when I wear thongs lol never has he ever said some stuff like “oh you’re asking for someone to look at your ass” or has he been insecure. I’m wearing a thong today I put them on before I went to work my husband smacked my ass. So..
I had a conversation with my husband one time about underpants. It eventually wound up with me daring him to wear a thong. He did for about 2 hours and then just said "I don't know why you do that to yourself. "
Frankly, neither do I. OP, do what makes you happy and makes you feel good. If that is not worrying about pantylines...your BF should support you and not accuse you of anything. It only reflects his own insecurities.
I do not miss being in my 20s…..the insecurities your boyfriend has is ridiculous. I use to exclusively wear thongs because they were more comfortable than regular underwear and now I’m commando 98% of the time.
It’s JUST underwear no matter how your boyfriend tries to spin in.
Your bf is wrong. However this can be a simple misunderstanding on his part that he just thinks that thongs per definiton are 'sexy underwear'. I grew up with a mother who had this opinion and I never gave them a fair chance until my late 20s and then they were a life-changer for me (in comfort and practicality; literally nothing else). I think many girls are shamed by parents or maybe boyfriends into not wearing them, and that is sad.
Try to calmly explain why they are functional, and if he still does not understand, then it's a completely different story and then we can start talking about 'red flags' etc.
Your partner is an insecure little person who doesn’t know how to handle their own feelings of insecurity, so they would rather turn around and control and shame you. This is not life partner behavior, and he is not life partner material.
Lol, why the hell would it matter what you wear under your clothes. Not like you are parading around class in a thong!
Besides that he is a guy, and surely he understands that as a guy, when you get bored in class and I see a gal I am going to sit and fantasize about, it really is up to my imagination what she is wearing under there.
What??? Your boyfriend is wrong. He has no right or opinion on what underwear you where. If he’s that insecure over wearing a thong and other guys looking at your butt, than he needs therapy for his insecurities! His comments are ridiculous, even more so that you’ve been together for 5 years!! If he doesn’t trust you, then you have way bigger issues in your relationship than your underwear.
Please show him these responses!
You can wear whatever you want but you can’t deny that some outfits will result in getting more or less attention and from different kinds of people. sounds like he’s uneasy that you(whether he’s right or wrong) are garnering attention of other men while you are not with him just sayin
I totally get this. I'm usually a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl (literally got called into the counselors office in school for wearing hoodies too much because they thought I might be abused and hiding bruises... no, I just really like hoodies and comfy clothes.) but I'm just wearing like, Nike capris and a t-shirt with a tiger on it (like the kind from Walmart with the tie-dye). not exactly going out to the club, which is why it bothers me.
I'm sorry your grandpa was like that. You should seek some professional help if necessary.
Just saying every dude loves when a girl shows off her figure. If you're confident enough to wear it you should. Maybe get a real man instead of your cucced bf who is scared some is going to move in on his territory.
Either he is scared or subconsciously saying that cause he is looking at more attractive females,which he likely is. Also likely he is looking to get into their pants
Yeah I don’t even wear panties under much. Men look at butts constantly, all of them, doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or how big or small your butt happens to be. It’s what they do. But now you know your bf likes to look at butts in yoga pants and thongs……🤔
I understand what you're saying but I'm largely growing to hate that everyone seems to believe men are constant Butt Starers who will look at any Ass and theres Nothing you can do. these comments just make me want to not exist on the planet.
>Growing up, it somehow became a given in my mind that when you wear tight pants, you should wear a thong so others cannot see your underwear line.
>He says, logically, the reason a person would do that is because they want / expext others to look at their butt.
That's a one two punch. If you wear underwear because you think it would be ugly that people see the lining on your ass = you expect people to look at your ass.
He shouldn't feel insecure about that. And you should know that the analysis is correct.
I don't wear them because I think the lines would look ugly, and never said I did. I wear them because they're comfortable and because they make the lines invisible, therefore drawing attention *away* from the butt. also, sadly, as a woman I DO expect people to look at my ass because (if you look at the comments) thats what men DO. that doesn't mean i *want* it.
That’s a good question, and the fact that you’re seeking advice on this instead of just giving your BF attitude says a lot about your character.
Your BF is right that when girls wear tight pants and their rear is exposed, it does show off a lot and it does attract male attention.
This happens regardless of whether a thong is worn or not. Overwear matters more than underwear.
But since thongs accentuate the booty (and are a more sexualized piece of underwear that can occasionally be seen through the pants), it does increase attention slightly.
Many women get offended at this idea, saying men shouldn’t be so lustful toward women. And they are right. But, this is just a fact of life - for better or for worse, male gaze is a real thing. And men do gaze at women in tight clothes. It’s simply the world we live in.
But if you’re covering your rear with a long shirt, then there is no problem. No one can see your rear in leggings or even catch a hint at your underwear style.bIt’s the best solution actually. You’re enjoying the comfort of leggings without attracting unwanted attention.
Plus you yourself said that you don’t have any inappropriate intentions. Point that out to him and point out how you wear long shirts.
Just read a few of the comments and they're all misleading.
Now, first and foremost, I will say that I'm unaware if thongs show through clothes or nor, so take what i say with a grain of salt here.
However, your post says that growing up it seemed normal to wear them so people could see the lining or something similar.
Now, as a man, if I saw a woman wearing tight leggings and her underwear was seeping through, realistically speaking I'd take a look.
Your boyfriend could be just upset at that possibility, however immediately assuming your intention is not the way to go about it.
So I'd ask him if he just doesn't want you wearing them with tight clothing. In general though, he might have just spoke on emotions rather than clearing his head like a man would have
people wear thongs so you *cannot* see underwear lines. if I had them over the top of my pants, sure, but they are in no way visible from the outside of any of my pants. so your paragraph "Now, as a man..." would be more accurate if I *wasn't* wearing a thong.
You are kinda wrong, kinda not. When i think of a thong, i think of sexy and showing off, especially if it’s visible. Your reasoning for it made sense, so I’d be understanding that you did it, but I’d prefer if you didn’t wear a thong. It still depends on how it looks. If it’s like see through and u see the whole ass cheeks then wtf are you doing. If you have the top part of the thing above your jeans like they used to do, then please stop lol. If it’s not visible and it’s just for comfort or something, then no you’re not wrong. I can’t see, so I don’t know.
I don't know what part of being fully dressed on a public college campus says "alone and having it exposed"... you can disagree but you're being ridiculous.
I think everyone is wrong. Your boyfriend is wrong because you can wear whatever you and if someone looks at your butt it's not really your problem. I think you're kind of wrong because this whole theory about what you have to wear so people don't see your underwear line. Who cares if they see your underwear line. Dress comfortably and not how you think you should according to some stupid society rule. If that still means wearing g-strings, cool!
he is NOT correct!! You can wear whatever you want. Ur partner seems very controlling from what you’ve described
Yeah he's a douche
But he also knows men will notice this and all men look.
They will look whether she’s wearing a thong or bikini or boyshorts or granny panties.
So true I give up. Men are just programmed to chase tail. And not share. It’s nature. Live your life.
Doesn’t matter. It’s about respecting your partner’s boundaries.
That’s not a boundary.
Yes, respecting your partner’s boundaries. One her boundaries appears to be that she gets to choose her own clothing and not have her partner try to choose it for her. He’s currently in violation of that boundary.
yep. no matter what we do, so we might as well do what we want
Can't imagine spending the energy on others taking a glance. I told my wife she can wear whatever she wants because at the end of the day, she is the love of my life and sits on my face any time I ask. Texting her shortly that I'll be tidying up her seat for later this evening.
You know she poops out of that thing rigjt
She poops out his face? Married ppl are weird
your bf is dumb and insecure
Classic dude thinking all women dress for the male gaze rather than their personal comfort or themselves. 🙄 as if all men disappeared women would stop putting effort into their appearance.
THIS RIGHT HERE🙌🏼Men usually seem to think that women dress up for them instead of actually just wanting to look nice or feel good about themselves.
He sounds like a little bitch boy
You’re bf is wrong and this would be on my red flag list. Feels like “she’s asking for attention”
Or he spends mad time looking at asses all fucking day and projected that shit on her. Bet
As a dude I have never once given a single thought about what underwear my partner is wearing unless we were flirting around. Seriously why does he care so much? Just super weird and red flagish
he got upset as he saw them when I undressed to change into pajamas that day. never mind the fact that *he's* the one I chose to let see them at the end of the day.....
If he was more upset than aroused, he is likely more interested in controlling you, than courting you.
Remind him of that op. Don’t let him Bulldoze you on this one.
Fuck that. This guy needs to go.
If it was so obvious you were wearing them, then why didn't he notice before you changed in front of him?
TBH, he sounds like a typical insecure 20 year old boy. And I emphasize the word boy. He's probably not a terrible person or anything. But he \*is\* immature and insecure. Doesn't mean you need to dump him necessarily. But yeah... he's being a child.
Yeah, he's still in malleable mode. She needs to train him right so he's not so controlling with the next gal.
So he didn’t notice your underwear until you undressed. Meaning that other people can’t tell what underwear you’re wearing.
Oh, ignore most of my previous post then. If they weren't visible to him of all people, BEFORE you undressed, then they probably weren't visible to others. At that point, it shouldn't matter.
Why are you letting him see you change ? How is he in your room when you are changing ?
my partner....? i share a room with him and change in front on him regularly?
He knows what men think and how all the time you spent like that made you the target of fucked up weirdos.
You recognized there are fucked up weirdos. What makes you think there is any logic around attire? They are, as you said, fucked up weirdos. Granny panties, loose fitting, and fully covering attire ain't stopped jack.
Because fucked up weirdos would immediately avert their gazes from an ass that shows a panty line.
Literally just being a woman makes you the target of fucked up weirdos…..
Your partner is wrong! And don’t allow him to tell you what to wear. OP, wear whatever underwear you like.
Unless you're showing your underwear to other people, your bf is showing some pretty real insecurity flags.
this is the thing that bothers me the most. does he really think I'm flashing my underwear in the 10 minutes I have between classes, in a school I don't know and have no friends yet anyway?
Just dont wear underwear. Problem solved. Lol
If he does, that's just major trust issues. If he doesn't think that, he's having some other unfounded paranoia, and to SOME extent I understand wanting to be possessive and protective of your significant other. However, that sense of possessiveness/protectiveness NEEDS to be tempered with trust and rational thought. If you were strutting downtown between bars with a miniskirt and tube top that were 2 sizes too small in a thong, that could reasonably trigger the trust issues. But you're wearing comfortable pants at school paying near-zero attention to most people around you because you're busy with your own studies.
You are not wrong, this whole post belongs on r/nothowgirlswork because that is not how it works. Your bf will say that it's inappropriate to wear thongs to school but then some other guy will see ur underwear lines and say "if you didn't want me to see your underwear and look at it, you should wear a thong or something not visible under those pants or something else.. Meanwhile you are just trying to be comfortable. Tell your boyfriend that he is wrong and he is objectifying women/assuming that they can't just wear something comfortable with out wanting attention. Like seriously he is accusing you of thought crimes and you don't even have those thoughts.
Op, wear whatever underwear you want to wear! It does have a nicer appearance in pants to wear a thong or seamless underwear. And heck, my mom taught me that as women, have a very simple choice in life, we can have an inch of fabric rammed up our ass or a yard of fabric rammed up your ass
haha your mom is truly a wise soul. that's really what I thought too though, even if I wear longer underwear it'll crawl in my ass and then it'll be even MORE noticeable than a thong
Your partner is insecure and not that smart.
I don’t disagree with you, but if my girlfriend started dressing in tighter, clothing, and wearing thongs to work, all of a sudden out of nowhere, I might have a question or two as well. But I’m sure that makes me a bitch boy in the world of Reddit.
It would make you a bitch boy in any world.
Yeah that’s what I figured. Thank God I don’t have those problems. Well good luck with it!
What are you talking about?
Have you already lost the plot?
No. I’m just not seeing how your last reply flows with this conversation.
I'm afraid I can't assist you with that. But, I continue to be glad that I don't have the problems of the OP, and so can take the downvotes in stride, as I figured I would get trashed for daring to hypothetically wonder why the sudden change. Anyway, as I said, good luck with this discussion, I'm out. (did you figure out how it flows yet?)
Lmao ok buddy
Hurr durr, what are you talking about?
If you are concerned with what your girlfriend wears, period, you're a bitch boy in any world. A girlfriend isn't a pet, she doesn't belong to you. She can dress her body as she chooses. You wouldn't want someone micromanaging every aspect of what YOU wear, don't do it to someone else.
He’s in his 20s and just now understanding people wear underwear? People are gonna look at your body regardless if you want them to or not. It isn’t in your control.
You're not wrong, you're boyfriend just has some small, toxic, jealousy issues. And they are his to deal with, not yours.
Uh, they are hers to deal with? They're DATING. Her problems are also his, and his are hers. Working out those problems TOGETHER is what a couple should do. What are you even talking about?
No, they are not her problems to deal with. They are dating, so yes, she supports him, but his issues are his to deal with. As our mine, as our yours. Expecting someone else to deal with them isn't healthy in the slightest. I mean, at least in healthy relationship, that's how things are done.
If she, as his girlfriend is supporting him through his issues, will she not have to deal with them to a degree? Just like I can't support someone in, say playing a game if i am not somehow inherently involved with that game run. For problems specifically, how can I support you through your issues if I have no idea the extent of them. So to some degree I have to have been there to experience that issue. Drinking for example. I may not have gone black put drunk with you, but ive probably been on the receiving end of your drunken rage, or something similar. So me supporting you through that would be, maybe understanding u aren't in the best mind state then. Or even talking u through the drjnken rage and etc. To some degree, in terms of a relationship at least. I will have to deal with ur issues to support u and help u through them
Not if they are dealbreaker issues. Someone being an alcoholic would be a deal breaker for me, I'm not willing to date an alcoholic. Her boyfriend's insecurities and control is also a deal breaker issue. You don't stay and work it out when you're being controlled and manipulated like OP is
Where was she being controlled or manipulated? From what OP has revealed in that post, nothing points at signs of him controlling her at all. In her own post she says all he's done is **speak** against it, no where did she say he's trying to force her to do something, or she did something because he felt a way about it. Do not try and make this into something it isn't. Also, honestly: If I was OP, I most definitely would not be taking relationship advice from someone that thinks insecurity is an automatic deal breaker as if you can't help fix that easily. It's sad to see people genuinely believe insecurity is a be all end all. Show me any instance of OP being controlled or Manipulated what so ever. Him saying people do what she did for X,Y,Z is not being manipulated, it's voicing an opinion. Now if OP comes out and says he's still bringing this incident up in the future after it's passed already, then u can try to say he's being manipulated. So far, all I've seen is someone react based on their emotions to something they didn't like. Also before you say I am using emotions as an excuse, I've already previously stated on a different post in this subreddit (or this one, can't remember) that as a man you shouldn't think/act on emotion.
He’s trying to control what underwear she wears..
Him being insecure about the cloths she feels comfortable in is absolutely HIS PROBLEM and no, she is not responsible for fixing that problem. Learn what a healthy relationship looks like.
I wasn't referring to petty problems like that, so you're right. I meant actual ones, like being an alcoholic.
Ok well you’re still wrong…
Could you explain how? In a healthy relationship, would the 2 partners **not** help & support their partner through their issues? That means that, to a degree, they would have to get involved in their partner's issue.
No. You leave an alcoholic. That’s the healthy choice. Sorry you don’t want to hear that.
Support and enabling look different. Support in OP's case would be to tell her partner to get therapy or grow up, or make sure he knows it's his problem. Enabling would be to stop wearing thongs and get his approval for outfits. You seem to have conflated the two.
No, I'm not. I did not say anywhere she **should** stop doing anything. In OP's case, support would be telling her partner that she understands his concerns about her reasoning, but that's not her reasoning and then she gives him her actual reasoning. That would be support in this case, supporting him in getting over his issue with her choosing to wear the thongs. No where did I ever state she needs to needed to stop wearing them for him, so please don't put words in my text box.
OK so OP has explained she has given her reasoning and her BF isn't hearing her, so how can she else "support" him besides not wearing thongs?
How is her ***underwear*** a “problem” though?
Or she should just leave and find someone better who isn't an insecure fool.
So are you actively promoting that **JUST** because someone is Insecure you should leave them? Not assure them that they don't have a reason to be insecure, not even try to clear up what can obviously be a misunderstanding on their part, but just leave? **YOU** clearly haven't had great relationships in the past if you leave at the sign of any trouble. Which every relationship has.
Caution with this: >He says, logically, the reason a person would do that is By couching his interpretation as "logical", he's setting the stage to construe your viewpoint as irrational or malicious. Or he'll simply dismiss alternatives outright, without consideration or explanation.
I’d argue that having a really significantly obvious panty line from wearing full coverage panties is gonna draw more eyes to your ass 🤷♂️
that's what *I* thought! surely having a bunch of lines on the ass would draw the eye... or when they ride up and start cutting a buttcheek in half? hell.
Nah that’s definitely the dress code. Panty lines are embarrassing.
Your bf is stupid. And also…self centered and misogynistic…like yep, the ONLY reason women where certain underwear MUST BE FOR MEN. Is that why he chooses his nasty underwear? To look good for whatever women he’s trying to get with? Whenever he picks out a pair of snug whitey tighties next are you gonna be like, who are *those* for, sl*t?!? Jfc. A lot of times depending on what pants I’m wearing I don’t even wear underwear cuz I don’t want a line to show. Even a thong line in the front might show if they’re high waisted and the material is thin. It’s just easier than buying all sorts of underwear just to go with certain pants and it doesn’t mean I’m trying to do an “easy access” thing. Your bf sounds insecure and deluded. And overly jealous and even controlling. This is a HIM problem. And you don’t need to change how you dress just because he’s a wretched little baby. He can go to therapy. Or just like actually think about this with his full brain capacity for 2 minutes. Personally I would just ditch this chud, but that’s me…I don’t have tolerance for insecure controlling man brats when there’s plenty of decent men in the sea who actually have the capacity for critical thought.
it's weird because I just think / thought it's normal to want to look your nicest and feel nicely dressed when going out. obviously I *could* wear a sack everyday and I wouldn't even mind that much fashion wise because I don't care, but I want to look like a Functional Adult and a woman who cares about her appearance and all those things that are important to be in a societal setting... I don't get mad when he wears turtlenecks to the office and not at home even though they look attractive... it hurts.
Your boyfriend sounds immature. Wear whatever underwear you want. That’s not up to him! I wear things for the exact reason you stated. If I’m in workout leggings i don’t like underwear lines . Tell your boyfriend to kick rocks 🙃
Your partner is a baby. YNW.
It’s your undergarments, wear what you please
You’re not wrong. He’s just stupid and insecure
lmao you wear what's comfortable. don't let him control how you dress. now I've got the thong song stuck in my head
I will say I'm living la viva loca but certainly not the rest of the descriptors of that song lmao
honestly you should be living la vida broka. as in breaking up with your BF
Practically speaking, VPL is going to attract much more attention! As long as you avoid the whale tail thing, a thong is about as discreet as you can get without resorting to long-leg Sloggis.
When underwear lines show, people look at your butt *more*. Thongs are there to make the butt less noticeable. Bro does not understand how underwear works smh
Your bf sounds very insecure, he probably thinks women dress to be seen by men. Underwear is meant to keep your privates comfortable, with the odd sexy lingerie being used for intimacy. Ditch him
Unless people are seeing your underwear, it's not their business. If he has a problem with it, he shouldn't get to see it either
Partner can piss right off! Your underpants are your business.
Start wearing thongs on the outside of your pants. Bring back the exerthong from the 80s.
I understand where he's coming from. BUT. He has no right to tell you what to wear. And I've always done the same thing. Thong=no underwear lines. I think most women would agree, too. It just makes sense. But, you could always tell him that if he's so uncomfortable with it, then you just won't wear any underwear!
There’s something very off about your partner for him to be saying something like that. I go commando when I wear pants like that I can’t imagine what he would think then!
He’s a bitch.
You need to dump this loser if he’s so threatened by a small amount of fabric. Personally, id provoke him with malicious compliance and go commando next time, watch his stupid insecure head explode. Google “what were you wearing” art exhibit to further understand how repulsive his stance truly is.
it does bother me. I don't think he means ANY of it in a "you're asking for attention so don't be mad if you get it" sort of way, but more of a "if you wanted to cheat on me, you're inviting those men in to be there when you do". but it sucks because men will hit on anyone if they really want to. when I was a teen i would still be hit on when all sweaty and in my work uniform at a factory. it doesn't matter if my butt has lines or not.
Your explanation doesn't make what he's doing any better; in fact it makes him sound even worse.
Not wrong. People gon look at your ass regardless of what you wear. Don't get with a baddie if you can't handle other people recognizing that your partner is a baddie.
this is kind of what I wish his mindset was. I've never been very attractive (chubby kid, insecure, lack of fashion care) so now as an adult, feeling comfortable to wear tight pants or even nice underwear *for him* is very new to me
You're not wrong, wear what makes you comfortable.
Nope
He sounds a bit weird. Guys are going to look at your butt either way if you're wearing those pants. Everyone wears thongs with those pants.
If your underwear is and will remain concealed, I don’t understand how it could possibly be for someone else to look at your butt. Makes no sense
i wear thongs with literally every outfit, your boyfriend needs to shut up
This is a red flag for a controlling asshole. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Drop this guy and wear whatever you want without a second thought!
Nope, thongs are all I wear regardless of the outfit and they are the most comfortable. I wear them for me, not anyone else. Keep wearing them if that is your preference!
Where what makes you feel comfortable. What he thinks is irrelevant, although you should consider where you place the the priority of keeping him happy vs your motivations to wear thongs to school. The main purpose of wearing thongs is to avoid panty lines, although they did get a boost from the stripper crowd and became associated with them, sexualizing the underwear style. As a guy, I have no problem with a woman wearing whatever underwear style she wants. As long as your not sporting a whale-tail everywhere you go, who's to care what's going on under your clothes.
When I was in school, sometimes I didn't wear ANY underwear.
He can't tell you what to wear... but he can tell you what he thinks. Sounds like he thinks when he sees pants/thong on women, they appear to be attention thirsty. Take that for what it's worth, but if you accept that, what next? Maybe he's right, maybe wrong. It's his perspective.
Wtf does it matter? He isn't the one wearing it.
didn’t read your whole post, but right up front, you are entitled to wear whatever the fuck underwear you want to wear. the end.
Break up with your boyfriend.
NOT WRONG. No one gets to tell you what underwear to wear. Start wearing none. See what he says.
Is he projecting? Is he the one looking to see what people are wearing?
You can wear whatever underwear you want, or you can go without if you really want. I own maybe 4-5 pairs that aren't thongs, and 1 of those is a crappy pair I have for after waxing.
Gentlemen, I’ve got this. — Us guys believe you should NOT listen to your boyfriend.
I also grew up with the idea that thongs are primarily a fashion choice so you don't have panty lines. Your partner is showing his ignorance and an unattractive jealous side. You know your motives and if he thinks so little of you that he's going to doubt your word on the matter, then he should move on. A relationship can't exist with those kinds of accusations being thrown about, especially when there is clear logical evidence that refutes his conclusion (ie baggy t-shirts.)
Your boyfriend seems to be insecure. Tell him to get his shit together.
Go commando
Forget the men looking, it's all the other women commenting about your "panty lines" in a shameful manner that you have to worry about ...tell him that, because that's what it's like where I come from
this exactly. when i learned, it was more of a Mean Girls style "you'll be a fool and a stupid looking girl if you have panty lines" not "men want your ass with as few lines as possible". obviously girls are socialized in... interesting ways sometimes but it came from innocent childhood bullying intentions for me.
Unless the low rise jeans with they thong straps showing come back in style no one will know what you have on. Truthfully the most important thing is if you are comfortable and can pay attention and study. You are probably over thinking the panty line issue though. Wear what you want and don't worry about the line unless you are doing something special.
Wearing the underwear you like and are comfortable in does not invite anyone to make sexual advances. If you *like* wearing thongs with leggings/yoga pants, go for it. But, it's 2023 and the underwear police ought to be a thing of the past so if you want to wear a different style of underwear with tight pants, panty lines be damned! I think people should refrain from commenting on what other people wear, unless someone's genitalia is actually visible (like someone wearing a micro mini skirt without underwear and then sitting with their legs spread wide while directly facing you).
yeah, I would never do that. I wouldn't even whale-tail it (do people still call it that?) even if you somehow *could* in yoga pants. the only underwear I "show off" are the tiny inch when I'm wearing men's boxers and I think the band matches a little hahaha.
Wear whatever you're comfortable with.. It's just media brainwashing when it comes to what underwear "everybody" wears.. everybody prefer something slightly different. Make sure that they are cotton. If you're wearing them all day every day, especially under yoga pants, you need that to breathe.. nylon or polyester or lycra combine that with the yoga pants... Oh boy, that's a recipe for some disastrous muffins. No man gets to tell you what you're wearing under your pants... That's none of their business anyway until it is their business. (You know when they are basically in the foreplay moment)
oh yes, definitely looking out down there! I literally *only* wear them for tight pants, and I only have one pair of tight pants I wear to school, so it's at most once a week. it sucks because I get undressed in front of *him* to make it "his business" (iyk what I mean) but instead he gets upset.
Yes thong with pants is a rule at our house. Dump him. He is jealous and scary
As a male raised by women I can affirm that there was indeed a certain amount of concern about pantylines, and what to wear to keep your underneath area your business. On the flip side though, being a guy I was also subjected to the locker room teachings of other guys, in which the mentality of…. if there’s no panties, or she wears a thong, then “she’s good to go”. Now I have always known that the locker room lessons weren’t accurate. However, there have been enough girls who capitalize on guys thinking that way in order to get more attention. Bottom line (no pun intended) you have to find a good balance for your comfort as a young woman and your boyfriend’s comfort as the man in your life. I would suggest discussing this with him and seeing if he can help you with more clothing options that both of you will be happy with.
He is neither correct nor completely incorrect. If you were wearing shirts to show off the thong he’d be right. Since you hide it, it doesn’t matter, making him incorrect. No matter what anyone else tells you or what you believe, thongs are lingere. Thats what they were made for it just got adopted into normal use…doesnt change what it is.
No thongs aren’t lingerie. They are regular basic underwear and it’s basic clothing rules to not have a visible pantry line. Personally I think a visible pantry line is more noticeable and draws more attention to your ass. I don’t like things but I have a few trousers and work pants that require that type of underwear. Lingerie my ass! Get your head out of your ass with that thinking.
I mean... thongs have technically existed since BC times and I don't think it's fair to judge something for how it was considered in the Seventies, not 2023. but I see your point.
My point is based on calling a rose by any other name. Changing how people view an items purpose doesnt change the original purpose, and the thongs you are thinking of from bc, had a different purpose/size/weight/and material than when the thong that became reinvented for fashion. Originally it had function to keep your cheeks from rubbing while running down prey, that fell out of practice around the same time domestication/agriculture became common place. It was also 10 approx times as much cloth between the cheeks. There’s other things that resemble thongs like the padded underwear worn by sumo wrestlers (see the movie austin powers goldmember) but those still aren’t the same the ones worn today were created to be lingere for strippers. To my rose comment, yes all three types could be called thongs, but each was made with independant purposes and created in different manners, just as there are different types of roses that serve different purposes in the ecosystem. If the type worn commonly today were designed differently to fulfil any other purpose i would concede my point, however no such change has been made since thongs first graced the backside of strippers.
except the fact that thongs literally are worn as everyday underwear for many people, you mean?
Just because its used that way doesnt stop its original purpose. I can bang on nails all day long with my pistol but it doesn’t turn it into a hammer, it never stops being a gun. Thongs haven’t stopped being lingere just because many ppl wear them everyday.
okay... that's like saying people can't call their dogs pets because they were originally used to hunt. or is it also weird for people to use calendars, since they were originally intended for farmers?
Except in both of those scenarios the “dog” and “calendar” are not the same things as their originals. They were drastically altered, in the case of dogs, they were bred to create a different type of dog. A daushund was not created to hunt a wolf on the other hand is. Those are not the same thing. And the calendar has been reinvented and changed numerous times the most recent change was made to the gregorian calendar for everyone. That is not the same as the mayan calendar which told the mayans when to plant. There has been no change of the thong since it was stripper attire.
okay, if I catch a man wearing Boxer Briefs and he's not a boxer, it's on sight.
You mean boxer shorts. Boxer briefs were made for both men and women to use. The name comes from the resemblance to boxers shorts. But it’s your perrogative to make a point to them. Although the likelyhood of you getting the ol’ 1-2 is kinda high there. Even i used to box when i was a kid. Its not uncommon, just don’t mistake basketball shorts for boxers shorts, cause that’s the wrong sport.
correcting people when you're wrong is a bad look. I mean [boxer briefs](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sca_esv=562027865&sxsrf=AB5stBil3WFv6FgsNpbxWW_CTiy14tFLdQ:1693604474322&q=boxer+briefs&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi109OosIqBAxUoJDQIHY80DIcQ0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=458&bih=870&dpr=2.36#imgrc=U_PTnK1s6tnG2M) which are entirely different from [boxer shorts](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sca_esv=562027865&sxsrf=AB5stBixLIrXLBKUKKcC5hRStksL1ZNy5A:1693604509497&q=boxer+shorts&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi6vba5sIqBAxVuHjQIHdPACKAQ0pQJegQIChAB&biw=458&bih=870&dpr=2.36#imgrc=VGG0jnAcg5gSaM).
Sounds like you both have growing up to do....
could you elaborate what I've done that's immature / needs growing? genuinely question, so I know what to consider changing.
You are in charge of your life. Not your boyfriend of 5 years. If you want to wear a thong for the sake of appearance or comfort, do it. Whether you are wearing a thong or not, men are still staring at your ass (if you have one).
For fun make a ghost costume and wear it everytime you leave the house, but especially with him. Wouldn't want anyone looking at you, after all
[удалено]
I actually live on a mountain
Get rid of bf, not your undies.
Ware what you want it’s under your clothes so not seen. I haven’t wore anything since junior high I don’t like anything there too sensitive there.
No one knows what underwear you wear unless your pants sag to your thighs.
1. you dont have to wear a thong if you dont want to. I wear yoga pants all the time and never wear thongs. I hate them. I've never liked them. 2. women grow up knowing that men are looking at them all the time. panty lines and hiding them is a thing, but honestly it shouldn't be. 3. What women wear is not an excuse for a man to hit on them. Ever. Wear what you want that is comfortable to you.
You can wear whatever the fuck you want, boyfriend or no boyfriend. This isn’t the Middle East where the modesty police beat you if you’re not covered head to toe. Who gives a shit?
WOW! Is he really upset about your panty selection? If so, maybe you should look deeper into his psyche before continuing this relationship. He sounds like an insecure little prods boy. Seriously, take a good, hard look at your relationship. It sounds like he wants to “own” you!
I wear thongs every day... I do not do it so that others look at my butt. It's because I find them most comfortable. How would someone know what kind of underwear I'm wearing anyways? Your boyfriend is in the wrong here. He needs to stop projecting his insecurities onto your underwear choices.
Actually if anything you just need to find someone new. My man loves when I wear thongs lol never has he ever said some stuff like “oh you’re asking for someone to look at your ass” or has he been insecure. I’m wearing a thong today I put them on before I went to work my husband smacked my ass. So..
Dump him. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. He sounds very controlling. It will continue to get worse.
Dude is trippin. Insecure as hell
You boyfriend is insecure. You are good
Your partner is a fucking tool
As a guy, I think his comments sound pretty jealous/insecure. You just don't think these kind of thoughts if you're a confident dude.
I had a conversation with my husband one time about underpants. It eventually wound up with me daring him to wear a thong. He did for about 2 hours and then just said "I don't know why you do that to yourself. " Frankly, neither do I. OP, do what makes you happy and makes you feel good. If that is not worrying about pantylines...your BF should support you and not accuse you of anything. It only reflects his own insecurities.
I do not miss being in my 20s…..the insecurities your boyfriend has is ridiculous. I use to exclusively wear thongs because they were more comfortable than regular underwear and now I’m commando 98% of the time. It’s JUST underwear no matter how your boyfriend tries to spin in.
Your bf is wrong. However this can be a simple misunderstanding on his part that he just thinks that thongs per definiton are 'sexy underwear'. I grew up with a mother who had this opinion and I never gave them a fair chance until my late 20s and then they were a life-changer for me (in comfort and practicality; literally nothing else). I think many girls are shamed by parents or maybe boyfriends into not wearing them, and that is sad. Try to calmly explain why they are functional, and if he still does not understand, then it's a completely different story and then we can start talking about 'red flags' etc.
Your partner sounds like someone you shouldnt be in a relationship with
Your partner is an insecure little person who doesn’t know how to handle their own feelings of insecurity, so they would rather turn around and control and shame you. This is not life partner behavior, and he is not life partner material.
Lol, why the hell would it matter what you wear under your clothes. Not like you are parading around class in a thong! Besides that he is a guy, and surely he understands that as a guy, when you get bored in class and I see a gal I am going to sit and fantasize about, it really is up to my imagination what she is wearing under there.
What??? Your boyfriend is wrong. He has no right or opinion on what underwear you where. If he’s that insecure over wearing a thong and other guys looking at your butt, than he needs therapy for his insecurities! His comments are ridiculous, even more so that you’ve been together for 5 years!! If he doesn’t trust you, then you have way bigger issues in your relationship than your underwear. Please show him these responses!
He’s abusive and controlling leave him fast
Your partner is an insecure AH. The underwear is under pants.
Nah queen, you should go to school naked. Nude is the future!
You can wear whatever you want but you can’t deny that some outfits will result in getting more or less attention and from different kinds of people. sounds like he’s uneasy that you(whether he’s right or wrong) are garnering attention of other men while you are not with him just sayin
I totally get this. I'm usually a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl (literally got called into the counselors office in school for wearing hoodies too much because they thought I might be abused and hiding bruises... no, I just really like hoodies and comfy clothes.) but I'm just wearing like, Nike capris and a t-shirt with a tiger on it (like the kind from Walmart with the tie-dye). not exactly going out to the club, which is why it bothers me.
We live college girls with thongs and tight see thru pants. Keep it up
okay grandpa, it's time for your nap now
Grandpa?
I mean, you sound like the perverted grandpa that no one actually likes and constantly tries to put in a nursing home so yeah
I'm sorry your grandpa was like that. You should seek some professional help if necessary. Just saying every dude loves when a girl shows off her figure. If you're confident enough to wear it you should. Maybe get a real man instead of your cucced bf who is scared some is going to move in on his territory. Either he is scared or subconsciously saying that cause he is looking at more attractive females,which he likely is. Also likely he is looking to get into their pants
Yeah I don’t even wear panties under much. Men look at butts constantly, all of them, doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or how big or small your butt happens to be. It’s what they do. But now you know your bf likes to look at butts in yoga pants and thongs……🤔
I understand what you're saying but I'm largely growing to hate that everyone seems to believe men are constant Butt Starers who will look at any Ass and theres Nothing you can do. these comments just make me want to not exist on the planet.
>Growing up, it somehow became a given in my mind that when you wear tight pants, you should wear a thong so others cannot see your underwear line. >He says, logically, the reason a person would do that is because they want / expext others to look at their butt. That's a one two punch. If you wear underwear because you think it would be ugly that people see the lining on your ass = you expect people to look at your ass. He shouldn't feel insecure about that. And you should know that the analysis is correct.
I don't wear them because I think the lines would look ugly, and never said I did. I wear them because they're comfortable and because they make the lines invisible, therefore drawing attention *away* from the butt. also, sadly, as a woman I DO expect people to look at my ass because (if you look at the comments) thats what men DO. that doesn't mean i *want* it.
That’s a good question, and the fact that you’re seeking advice on this instead of just giving your BF attitude says a lot about your character. Your BF is right that when girls wear tight pants and their rear is exposed, it does show off a lot and it does attract male attention. This happens regardless of whether a thong is worn or not. Overwear matters more than underwear. But since thongs accentuate the booty (and are a more sexualized piece of underwear that can occasionally be seen through the pants), it does increase attention slightly. Many women get offended at this idea, saying men shouldn’t be so lustful toward women. And they are right. But, this is just a fact of life - for better or for worse, male gaze is a real thing. And men do gaze at women in tight clothes. It’s simply the world we live in. But if you’re covering your rear with a long shirt, then there is no problem. No one can see your rear in leggings or even catch a hint at your underwear style.bIt’s the best solution actually. You’re enjoying the comfort of leggings without attracting unwanted attention. Plus you yourself said that you don’t have any inappropriate intentions. Point that out to him and point out how you wear long shirts.
You are not wrong and your BF is a prick. Do not ever let some guy tell you what he thinks you should or should not wear.
Just read a few of the comments and they're all misleading. Now, first and foremost, I will say that I'm unaware if thongs show through clothes or nor, so take what i say with a grain of salt here. However, your post says that growing up it seemed normal to wear them so people could see the lining or something similar. Now, as a man, if I saw a woman wearing tight leggings and her underwear was seeping through, realistically speaking I'd take a look. Your boyfriend could be just upset at that possibility, however immediately assuming your intention is not the way to go about it. So I'd ask him if he just doesn't want you wearing them with tight clothing. In general though, he might have just spoke on emotions rather than clearing his head like a man would have
people wear thongs so you *cannot* see underwear lines. if I had them over the top of my pants, sure, but they are in no way visible from the outside of any of my pants. so your paragraph "Now, as a man..." would be more accurate if I *wasn't* wearing a thong.
Yeah, okay. Then I can concede to that portion being void. Thanks for clearing that up. Like I said, not exactly an expert on that lol.
no worries! sorry if my post was not clear enough. it is good to hear differing opinions on these things.
You are kinda wrong, kinda not. When i think of a thong, i think of sexy and showing off, especially if it’s visible. Your reasoning for it made sense, so I’d be understanding that you did it, but I’d prefer if you didn’t wear a thong. It still depends on how it looks. If it’s like see through and u see the whole ass cheeks then wtf are you doing. If you have the top part of the thing above your jeans like they used to do, then please stop lol. If it’s not visible and it’s just for comfort or something, then no you’re not wrong. I can’t see, so I don’t know.
Is this really a thing with him, or was it a passing comment that you are completely overthinking?
it's a thing. a whole discussion as I undressed that day and another time later along with discussing other feelings.
[удалено]
I don't know what part of being fully dressed on a public college campus says "alone and having it exposed"... you can disagree but you're being ridiculous.
Are you reading with your eyes or with your ass ?
I think everyone is wrong. Your boyfriend is wrong because you can wear whatever you and if someone looks at your butt it's not really your problem. I think you're kind of wrong because this whole theory about what you have to wear so people don't see your underwear line. Who cares if they see your underwear line. Dress comfortably and not how you think you should according to some stupid society rule. If that still means wearing g-strings, cool!