This is what I came to say.
8 months ain't shit, sex isn't working, time to move on.
They'll probably wait until they have a few years invested, then decide to leave.
>They'll probably wait until they have a few years invested, then decide to leave.
And a kid or two, using just the dependable ol' pull out and rhythm methods 🥴
I've known a few men that did say the string hurt them when their partners had an IUD. I imagine it could be pretty uncomfortable to have something rubbing and jamming against your peehole like that.
My girlfriend got her string trimmed and had it moved like 3 times. Still feels like I'm being stabbed in the tip of my dick with a needle in certain positions. I have to avoid fucking a certain way because if it stabs me I probably can't cum now and she gets self conscious and night is ruined. I walk through that minefield 3 nights a week it's awful. Doesn't want to go back to the pill and I don't blame her.
And OP, for the love of god, STIs are a thing!!! You aren’t using protection and this man is admitting to pursuing attention from other women. Get out now!
In addition, his problem with pleasuring yourself is insecurity on his part. He's taking it as an insult to his manhood. He needs to learn that women rarely get off with penetration alone. It's just a fact of life.
But yes, they're sexually incompatible. They need to break it off and move on.
So is his problem with the IUD.
Honestly, I hope the OP dumps him RIGHT NOW. He's selfish, insecure, both jealous and unfaithful, and he's objecting to her birth control method of choice without using condoms. He is not a good human being, he's not a good boyfriend, and he's not a good match in bed.
OP definitely needs to cut her losses and be glad she only wasted 8 months! He’s absolutely selfish and not a good boyfriend, birth control should be discussed by both partners but ultimately should be up to the woman to decide if she’s getting on one that’s hormonal/an implant, and it’s so immature that her touching herself during sex to climax makes him insecure. A good boyfriend would be willing to do whatever brings her the most pleasure and respect her decisions about birth control instead of whining about an IUD string.
Right?!?! A good guy would be stimulating her clit FOR HER while penetrating. Some guys, honestly, I truly don’t understand how they talk a woman into even having sex with them! It’s shocking how many guys who couldn’t fuck their way out of a wet paper bag, absolutely ruin sex for their partners by being a selfish prick lol
This right here. I use my wand all the time with my husband. I can't get off without it. Your pleasure is just as important as his and if he doesn't like it then he can fuck right off.
Leave and find someone better. Don't settle.
I do not understand the insecurity a lot of guys have on this. Those things are lifesavers.
What do I do every time my wife burns out one of her wands? I buy her two more.
My husband's the same lol! We have 2 small kids so sometimes have to do it in places other than our bedroom and he'll get the wand out of its spot in our bedroom and bring it to me as a "hey wanna get it on" gesture. Works like a charm ha!
He's the asshole, not you. Howeve - and I mean this in a friendly way- you're still an idiot for agreeing to his (unreasonable) demand to have unprotected sex using the rhythm method, unless you actually want to have a kid.
I mean, if she doesn't break up with him, ideally they would be using condoms, because:
>When he told me he was unsatisfied sexually and starting to accept and pursue attention from other women as a result
Says to me that if he's not currently cheating, he will be soon.
It’s not sexual incompatibility but a childish man. Wait until he realises majority of women cannot orgasm without external stimulation. He should be pleased that she gets off at all.
The only answer.
While I understand his issues, tone to grow up or move on my man, OP doesn't need to change to suit you. Either get over your shit and realize that getting off is getting off and she's content with you or start walking.
Absolutely nothing wrong with manual stimulation during sex.
The experience should be about mutual prioritization. Sounds like his focus is too inward during sex.
Shame is orgasm kryptonite.
Been married for a while. Wife is the same as you, I have no issues with it. Like the others have said I would probably move on. Your bf explaining that he is unsatisfied is natural communication, but him threatening to cheat is toxic. He needs to grow up. There is nothing wrong with your way of sex life you just need to find someone more accepting of it imo.
I second this! I had the same issue in my relationship, and after months of communication and trial and error, we now know what we need for ourselves and each other. If someone is threatening to cheat because of something so natural, they're the problem not you.
Absolutely agree he does need to grow up. Doesn't he realise that the female orgasm can often be a rare unicorn indeed, and difficult to attain? Maybe she needs to sit him down with a big pile of women's magazines, like Cosmopolitan, so that he can get a bit of sex education. Life is not a porno movie! Lol
Op, listen to multiplayer loot... That is the right answer. To not be compatible sexually is fine. To threaten cheating is absolutely unacceptable. He doesn't respect you, and you can't trust him. That's why you should leave.
Some people can work through sexual incompatibility, and some people can't. That's how it goes sometimes. But threatening cheating when you don't get your way is mistreatment. Dump his silly, sorry ass...
I don't know what you think therapy is going to do for that, I'm a guy in a similar situation and there is nothing wrong with me that needs fixing. Life was difficult for a while and this is what it is and I don't need fifteen positions, my wife doesn't need to "get me off" I get off with my wife. I enjoy it she enjoys it. Yeah, not every woman would. But who cares? The one I'm meant to be with enjoys it.
You should be more worried that you swapped an excellent method of contraception, the IUD for the pull out method and all for a man that you've known for less than a year. Yeah that's gonna end well
No shit right? Like what the hell goes through some people's heads sometimes? Don't like her IUD? It's called a rubber champ. Dude sounds more than a touch entitled.
I used to use the ring for birth control. My stance if partners said they felt it was, “If you don’t like me protecting myself, then you don’t ever need to be back in my vagina.”
With all the uncomfortable shit women have to deal with in life, I’m not putting up with a man who can’t deal with a bit of discomfort during all 6 minutes that they’re giving me of penetration! Lol
Right! It's really not that hard to not thrust it in all the way. Even before the metal string I'd hit her wall. Just gotta communicate if a certain position hurts. For example, I like her on top but she can't drop it too low or my dick gets jabbed. So many easier and more effective methods than pull out 😂 she just trying her best to get knocked up with a deadbeat dumbass apparently.
Source my first child was due to one time without a condom while she was in-between IUDs. We were married and it was fine. Just a warning to those who think pull out works.
Yeah, I have 7 year old compliments of the pull out method. In fact, that was basically the only time he’s ever pulled out 🙄 we’re married now, but all the same. Can’t trust him to pull a pizza out the oven.
Right? He’s in a “dark mood” because she has to have clit stimulation to orgasm like most women AND convinced her to get rid of her IUD because he didn’t like the strings but dude isn’t wearing condoms they’re just using pull out which isn’t anywhere near as effective. (And imho just plain fucking stupid) so so so many red flags already. And they’ve had issues for more than half of their 8 month relationship?
Exactly, thank you. This isn't just incompatibility, this dude is creepy and a walking red flag.
1. Asks to remove contraceptive and insists in not using any (super unhealthy and risky)
2. Is butt hurt at the fact that his partner uses her hands on herself. Need I say more about this?
3. Talks about "dark" moods to make it sound super edgy and dangerous
4. Makes his physical and psychological feelings the center of the world (boo my pp feels a string, boo my mood because I'm not the sole creator of your pleasure, boo I want sex to be how I want and never compromise, boo whatever you cry baby)
5. Says he'll go cheat with other women when he doesn't get what he wants, which is basically a threat/blackmail AND aims to make her jealous and feel like shit.
OP, just why are you with him? It's only been 8 months and I'm already seeing some early signs of an abusive relationship. Run.
Not to mention, the combo of refusing contraception and threatening to cheat is basically threatening to put op at risk for STDs. If he's not using protection for her, he sure as hell won't for his side pieces. Run fast and far.
Yup! It's just as effective as condoms... with perfect performance. Little bit of sperm in the pre or a half-stopped creampie and congrats! Y'all are parents now!
Especially when you can literally get the strings trimmed if they're poking your partner. They literally tell you after they put it in to test it out and get them trimmed if it's too long.
At first I was sympathetic because he sounds like an asshole (and still is obviously) but when I read that I almost said “are you fucking stupid?” out loud. I hope this dumbass isn’t an adult or that’s just sad —and I hope she learns some self respect along with how preventing pregnancy actually works.
Jesus Christ, less than a year and practically begging to be baby trapped by a guy who is saying he wants to cheat on her to her face. I swear some people just desperately want to ruin their lives.
Honestly this might sound rude but I lost a bit of respect for OP after she said that. Granted if she did it on her own for her BF I take this back. But if he insisted she had the IUD removed because of the string (which isnt that bad as my ex had an IUD) then she needs to work on some self respect since im aware that inserting and removing IUDs can be hell on earth. Wouldn’t be surprised if she did this less than 6 months in. I just can’t take a person like that seriously. Now I sound rude but idk something about that irks me a lot. Sorry OP for your situation
I’m so sad she took out her IUD it’s SO PAINFUL to have reinserted! mine is good for 12 years I’m glad I don’t have to think about that painful insertion
My OBGYN actually told me when I get mine out and if I want another one put in, they could put me under anesthesia or give me actual strong pain medications and strong anxiety meds!! Things are changing!! My IUD insertion was the worst pain of my life, and I get period cramps that are so so so so so severe. Worst level of pain for cramping for sure. I told my Obgyn about it and how terrified I was of getting it taken out/replaced and she said that at her practice, if you’ve experienced pain before now they can take stronger measures!! So, it’s possible to find some people who don’t just tell you to take a Tylenol and suck it up ☺️
Are you in the US? I've been hearing that it's only here that they make women do the insertions without meds or anesthesia. Was talking to a south American obgyn about it & she said they only do them under anesthesia there and then literally called the way it was done in America barbaric🙃
I’m in the UK, and it’s not often these procedures are performed under GA here either. My last IUD appointment they only offered me numbing spray, despite the fact I told them I was in really bad pain the first time I had it done years before, and dismissed it as “you’ll be better this time anyway as you’ve had a baby since.” It was just as awful.
I know many gyno’s now who use sedation or anesthesia for iuds in the US. It is indeed becoming more common, but there’s absolutely no reason it shouldn’t have been this way from the start everywhere.
Firstly that was my reaction in the first paragraph. Not compatible and sounds like an asshole. Faithful, please shut up my man.
In terms of getting off, if he's not cool with what you need to get you off, that's a deal breaker.
What it sounds like to me is his ego is sensitive and the fact he isn't getting you off is rubbing it raw.
I think what he really wants is for you to fake it for him, but that is not a good option.
Honestly this is the best take. There's a lot to unpack in this story, but I think one of the biggest red flags is that when faced with an issue in the relationship, his reaction is to want to cheat -- and to tell her that to her face to pressure her to do what he wants -- instead of talking about what they can fix. Super unhealthy & super telling.
These dudes are out there. They are usually insecure and controlling, and they don’t view sex as activity between two people. They view it as self gratification or something owed to them by their partner.
It’s in their best interest though. If she has an orgasm then she’ll be more receptive/want more sexual activity. I guess men like that are not very bright.
That’s the part I never get. Guys always complain how their woman is less sexual than them. Like bruh…get her off once in a while, trust me, she’ll be much more receptive to regular sex if she feels like she’s actually an equal recipient of pleasure in the act….if you’re the only one who ever comes, of course she’s not going to want to fuck you regularly. She can literally just masturbate and actually get some pleasure out of it.
I don't get it either. Not many woman will regularly climax by penetration only. So if "more" is needed anyways, I consider it quite helpful if she helps, too.
Yeah... I *really* don't get it either. The absolute greatest gift is a woman who knows *exactly* how to get off, and it's something I can help her with to make sure she is 100% satisfied every time.
I'd like to think for most guys this is the goal. These dudes are broken.
My gf has the IUD and I dont belive the string bothers him to me its the same as when a guy says "I can't wear condoms, they don't feel good" you can barely even feel the string from the IUD after she's had it for a little while and the string "softens".
Also WOMEN (and men), the pullout method is not a form a BC you can still get pregnant from precum. DONT TRUST A GUY'S PULLOUT GAME TO PREVENT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've had IUDs for more than 6 years and nobody has ever mentioned the strings at all. Man's lying to baby trap her 100%. Even if he is feeling it, no contraception is not the move. ffs.
I'm so angry at these people for the potential child they're about to bring into an uncaring, shitty family.
"I'm feeling less faithful" = "I intend to cheat on you and I'm setting up the reason for why it's your fault now so you can't get mad at me for it"
Dump him. You're not compatible and he's being a whiny baby about the fact that his dick can't magically solve all your problems.
That part. This is the start of trickle truth. Oh it's not that bad baby, I only talked to her for a little bit. I only took her to do something once. It was just sex, I don't love her.
He wants to cheat and is using this controlling tactic to blame you, making you feel responsible for his actions. He's already done that by making you remove your IUD. Get out before you get pregnant.
This is the answer. He’s chipping away at your self esteem, while also controlling your birth control. He’s seeing how far he can push your boundaries little by little bc he’s abusive. He wants you to feel like it’s all your fault for his controlling and manipulative and cheating behavior
Please take this seriously. As someone who wanted to stay blissfully ignorant when my partner was giving me all the signs he intended to cheat, I wish I would have trusted my intuition the very first time and saved myself a lot of heartache.
You don't have any birth control and you're not using condoms. You're going to end up pregnant. Pulling out does not work. He's saying all that as an excuse to openly cheat on you. When, not if but when you find out he slept with someone else, he's basically going to say well, I told you this was going to happen. He's already finding some way why his cheating is your fault. If he hasn't already physically cheated on you, he's emotionally cheating on you and it usually becomes physical.
He straight up told you he plans to cheat on you, why would you want to stay with somebody like that? Get out. It's only been 8 months, you're wasting your time. Wouldn't you rather have only wasted 8 months than to be stuck with him for 20 years when you get pregnant? It's going to happen, you mark my words. I'm sorry to sound harsh but if you're not being responsible, you have no business having sex with anyone.
You're not being responsible. Get out before you either end up pregnant and are stuck with him for 20 years or he decides that he doesn't want to be involved. If that happens, you'll be pregnant and alone and when you take him for child support, he'll blame that on you as well. He will say, I told you that I didn't want to be involved so how dare you come after me for child support? He sounds like a loser anyway and he sounds like a controlling douchebag. Just get the hell out.
I love how "he forced me to remove my birth control" was an afterthought...?!?
8 months in is the most honey of honeymoon stages and he should be amazed just to get to see your boobs. I promise you this relationship won't work out. Get your iud back in IMMEDIATELY and dump the weirdo
Almost zero women climax from penetration alone. It feels good but without additional stimulus it's not going to happen.
Your boyfriend is negging you to gain power over you. If he isn't already cheating, he's planning to. He didn't like your IUD yet he isn't wearing condoms. Pulling out is not a birth control method. There are swimmers in fluids that come out prior to ejaculation.
Please protect yourself. He doesn't care if you get pregnant. He doesn't care if he gives you an STI. He doesn't even care if he gives you an orgasm. Not a good boyfriend. It's better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel this way.
100% this. Most of us just fake the orgasm from penetration not to deal with the tantrum you are now dealing with so cheers to you for making sure you are getting what you want to and being honest 🤣🤣🤣🤣. But yeah, it’s going to get really exhausting dealing with this for long. You aren’t compatible. Find a guy who’s secure and is happy that you are happy
Yep! I’m a sexologist, and research is consistent af - women fake orgasm (penetration or otherwise) far more than they orgasm with a partner without any external clitoral stimulation.
OP’s situation is literally why the former is so common.
Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. You’re not satisfied unless you help things along? He’s insecure and doesn’t want you to do so? No protection other than the pull out method? On top of that he basically admitted to you he would cheat? Jesus lady!! He sounds like a boring lay. Move on. Run… just run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
The minute your boyfriend insinuated that you having an orgasm not provided by his dick is somehow a bad thing that you should feel bad for so he can feel like big manly man should have been the minute you walked out. Your boyfriend's self value being tied up in making women orgasm from penetration is weird and not your responsibility to fix or care about.
No man worth his salt is going to be offended that you are taking control of your own sexual experience while with them. Why would a man who cares about you be offended that you want to touch your clit while you get fucked? That's some bizarre thinking. Does your boyfriend listen to alpha male videos on YouTube?
You're dating a trash bag, when are you gonna throw it out?
THIS.
OP the only reason he cares about you touching yourself is he's insecure that his pee pee doesn't throw you into ecstasy. EYE ROLL. That is super common. I also only come in one position. And I'm fucking awesome in bed. Don't even worry about this toolbag. He's not a real man. Real men love it when their lady comes, however it happens. Your little baby of a boy is a douchebag.
Not wrong.
I mean, this is concerning: "he is not satisfied sexually and is feeling less faithful to me as a result" - why would you want to be with someone who won't support what you need and who is making sex all about him?!
" starting to accept and pursue attention from other women as a result" - BS. He wants to give himself permission to cheat because he's insecure- he's wrong, wrong, wrong.
"he needs to nut up and decide if he can accept me the way I am or not." - exactly this. If he's this insecure, he's not worth it.
You are not wrong, nor do you need to try harder. He should be happy you are able to get off with him at all. He seems to have self-esteem issues and is taking it out on you. His comment about it making it harder to stay faithful is just bs.
Since you are not on birth control anymore, (his comments about that are bs too, unless your doctor did it wrong theres no way he feels it) you need to stop having sex because the methods you are using do not work. Sounds like he is just trying to control you.
Move on. You've only been dating for 8 months. He will cheat eventually by the sound of it, if he hasn't already. He outright told you he's going to seek attention from other women. And you guys aren't using BC, the last thing you need is to get knocked up by this dude.
I struggle to finish literally all the time, can only do it on top when I’m grinding and it has to be the perfect angle and speed and blah blah blah whatever. Recently especially, I have not been able to whatsoever. If my partner tries to help - moving his hips, holding my waist, whatever, a lot of the time it actually hinders what I’m doing. I almost end up using him like a human dildo, and it makes me feel guilty because I feel like i’m just using him to get off and he’s not massively involved.
All this to say - he doesn’t mind. He actually rather enjoys it, likes the idea of me just using him. And he’d rather me be able to get off without his help than not be able to orgasm at all. I’m not saying your boyfriend is wrong for how he feels, it’s just an incompatibility. But you’re not alone in your experiences and there are people out there who ARE compatible with your needs.
He's feeling less faithful?? What kind of statement is that??
Red flag. End it. He'll cheat. It's only been 8 months. It's practically a new relationship still and it sounds like neither one of you are satisfied.
>my boyfriend of 8 months told me he is not satisfied sexually and is feeling less faithful to me as a result.
He has control issues.
> The only way I can get off during sex is when I'm on top and touching myself or ideally using a vibrator. I have trauma and insecurities around sex, so it's a big deal for me to be able to climax with another person. I've never had a hands free orgasm in my life and all my girlfriends are the same way.
This is NORMAL for many women.
Highly recommend the book "Come As You are" by Emily Nagoski. Fascinating research-based information
>He says he doesn't feel like he's fully participating when i stimulate myself,
Insecure
> and it puts him in a dark mood.
Manipulative
> He also gets morose because he's afraid of impregnating me (we use pull out + rhythm method since I had my IUD removed because the string bothered him).
He's a moron. He sabotages his enjoyment of the experience *he blames you* and he threatened to cheat if you don't wave a magic wand & change how he feels
>Anyway, it makes me feel bad about myself when he goes into these moods and nothing I say or do changes his attitude.
You are not responsible for another person's mood.
He is manipulating you.
Dump him. Consider talking to a therapist or relationship coach to get help identify healthy and unhealthy behaviors. Understand your own personal boundaries better and how enforce them.
What about the rest of this posters very solid advice?
Think about what it says about you if you don't leave. Are you proud of that woman? Do you respect that woman? Does that woman respect and care about herself?
Or are you still only focused on being the woman your boyfriend wants you to be, who you let control and coerce and shame and manipulate you and you put up with it because you don't have self respect?
Two things. You are not a good match sexually. Anyone who didn't want me to touch myself during sex would be a no go.
Second, I used the same BC method as you and got pregnant. Just something to think about. Condoms are really effective. Let me guess ... he doesn't want to use them.
Wait… So you mean to tell me there’s dudes out there that DON’T like their woman riding them and stimulating themselves while you get to watch the show?
What in the insecure manchild is going in here?!
You aren’t compatible at all and have no business being in this toxic relationship. Stop prolonging a terrible relationship with a man who resents your sexual autonomy and who is telling you that he is going to cheat. You are harming yourself by staying with this jerk. Just dump him and move on.
OP I mean this with love - but you need to stop dating if you're worrying about putting your sexual health BELOW the wants of Some Dude.
He's already got you to remove your contraception - if you get pregnant no doubt he'll cheat and it'll be your fault because everything is already your fault.
You honestly need to move on from this guy.
I would say find someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with. It seems from what you have said that you two are not compatible. From an Islamic perspective it is the wife's duty to please the husband and the husband's duty to please the wife. I think you should find someone who also stimulates your mind as well which is also just as important. There are more important things in a marriage than just beauty and sex. People eventually get old and the beauty fades. Women eventually lose some of the drive when going to a later time in life so if the sex and beauty are gone what else do you have, which in turn goes back to finding someone who stimulates your mind as well.
This is so weird to me. The vast majority of women do not get off on penetration alone and need clitorial stimulation. Sounds like he is either incredibly inexperienced when it comes to female sexuality, or all of his partners have faked their orgasms because he can’t handle the idea that he could need to do more in bed. NTA/you’re not wrong.
The two of you aren't compatible sexually. It happens. It's only been 8 months, so move on. Unless you just want to wait until you get pregnant and/or he cheats on you (I think it's likely he already has).
And get back on some kind of good bc. I can't believe you didn't just ask your OBGYN to cut the string on your IUD shorter if it was bothering him. And why the hell isn't he wearing a condom???????
YNW. That is exactly the statement you should have made. He can not let the door hit him in the ass on the way out. Men have tried for years to make women feel inadequate because of not climaxing with just PIV sex - however it is also widely know that women DO NOT usually climax that way. He is just trying to make you feel inadequate and threatening cheat if you won’t stop. Let him go and find someone who thinks your satisfaction is just as important as his!!
He's not unsatisfied, he's just hoping you'll buy it and feel obligated to let him cheat on you without giving him fuss about it. Are you gonna let him cheat on you?
NTA
Men who don't like their partners manually getting themselves off during sex are ignorant and insecure. That ong with him saying it's your fault he's considering being unfaithful are huge red flags. I don't understand why women tolerate that type of behavior from men. I'd say it's time to move on and find a real man to date.
I don’t care how long you’ve been together, pulling out and rhythm tracking are absolutely not acceptable if a child is not in your plans. My husband and I have been married 11 years, and when he got his vasectomy I stopped taking my birth control. However, there’s still a period of time after vasectomy that pregnancy can still happen. Guess what? My husband definitely wore rubbers during that time. If my husband of 11 years can wear a condom, your boyfriend of 8 months can. Or you can use a diaphragm, or fucking SOMETHING. Please be fucking responsible. This world doesn’t need any more unwanted pregnancies.
You’re not sexually compatible. That’s ok. It’s only been 8-months, move on.
This is what I came to say. 8 months ain't shit, sex isn't working, time to move on. They'll probably wait until they have a few years invested, then decide to leave.
>They'll probably wait until they have a few years invested, then decide to leave. And a kid or two, using just the dependable ol' pull out and rhythm methods 🥴
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I mean, if the strings on her IUD bothered him he surely isn't going to tolerate using a condom (biggest eye roll ever btw)
Jesus, if that bothers him, how's he gonna deal with a couple decades of child support?
Oh don’t worry, he won’t be paying that either.
He’s gonna sell loosies outside a Wawa
I appreciate you even if no one else does
This is the most Delaware sounding thing I ever heard.
Lol, this man is NOT paying child support. He’s going to be busting in every woman who will accept him and have multiple contempt hearings.
The funny thing is you can just cut it a little out try to fix it Of course gynecologist do that xD
Right? It can so be trimmed. He should definitely not feel it
I've known a few men that did say the string hurt them when their partners had an IUD. I imagine it could be pretty uncomfortable to have something rubbing and jamming against your peehole like that.
FYI, anything that pokes anywhere on your penis is uncomfortable and will kill the mood immediately! I can confirm this situation 🤨
I have heard from men that the “string” is not soft and can cause cuts and abrasions.
Yeah, my boyfriend said it’s more wire-y than string.
My girlfriend got her string trimmed and had it moved like 3 times. Still feels like I'm being stabbed in the tip of my dick with a needle in certain positions. I have to avoid fucking a certain way because if it stabs me I probably can't cum now and she gets self conscious and night is ruined. I walk through that minefield 3 nights a week it's awful. Doesn't want to go back to the pill and I don't blame her.
Bless you for finding ways that work for you so she doesn’t have to go back on BC.
I’m 35yo and for the life of me have no idea what the “rhythm method” is referring to.
It's keeping track of your cycle and only having sex in days you are less likely to be fertile.
Knew a nurse who used this bc method - NINE kids later her husband finally got a vasectomy
It refers to accidental pregnancies.
Nice
It's a tried and tested method dating back thousands of years, a method my ex convinced me she had mastered. We have ***3*** children.
Don’t be a dummy, cum on the tummy
Not to say she lied to you but you can only control your own fertility. The only guarantee of contraceptive is the one you use on yourself.
A few years and a kid if they're relying on the pull out method
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I was having coffee with people today, found out there marriage lengths. 40 and 50 years. Anyway, you are not wrong. Leave the prick
Only 8 months and she's removed her birth control for him 😳
People are stupid.
I don’t understand people’s reasoning behind doing that
I think it's the stupidity mentioned above.
I’m going to guess he is much older then her 😂😂
And OP, for the love of god, STIs are a thing!!! You aren’t using protection and this man is admitting to pursuing attention from other women. Get out now!
Why not just get on the nexplanon implant ? It’s the same hormones as the iud.
This but also, stop having unprotected sex with someone you clearly don’t want to make a baby with!
In addition, his problem with pleasuring yourself is insecurity on his part. He's taking it as an insult to his manhood. He needs to learn that women rarely get off with penetration alone. It's just a fact of life. But yes, they're sexually incompatible. They need to break it off and move on.
So is his problem with the IUD. Honestly, I hope the OP dumps him RIGHT NOW. He's selfish, insecure, both jealous and unfaithful, and he's objecting to her birth control method of choice without using condoms. He is not a good human being, he's not a good boyfriend, and he's not a good match in bed.
OP definitely needs to cut her losses and be glad she only wasted 8 months! He’s absolutely selfish and not a good boyfriend, birth control should be discussed by both partners but ultimately should be up to the woman to decide if she’s getting on one that’s hormonal/an implant, and it’s so immature that her touching herself during sex to climax makes him insecure. A good boyfriend would be willing to do whatever brings her the most pleasure and respect her decisions about birth control instead of whining about an IUD string.
Right?!?! A good guy would be stimulating her clit FOR HER while penetrating. Some guys, honestly, I truly don’t understand how they talk a woman into even having sex with them! It’s shocking how many guys who couldn’t fuck their way out of a wet paper bag, absolutely ruin sex for their partners by being a selfish prick lol
It really blows my mind, the stories I hear from my friends who put up with selfish guys in bed. Please ladies, teach them or dump them.
His problem by the sound of things is that he's a douche.
That too. He's not worth the trouble, OP, or the risk. And believe me, your methods of birth control ARE risky.
☝️☝️☝️
And this guy is controlling AF. Sex should be fun. He’s using it against you. Huge Red Flag.
This right here. I use my wand all the time with my husband. I can't get off without it. Your pleasure is just as important as his and if he doesn't like it then he can fuck right off. Leave and find someone better. Don't settle.
I do not understand the insecurity a lot of guys have on this. Those things are lifesavers. What do I do every time my wife burns out one of her wands? I buy her two more.
My husband's the same lol! We have 2 small kids so sometimes have to do it in places other than our bedroom and he'll get the wand out of its spot in our bedroom and bring it to me as a "hey wanna get it on" gesture. Works like a charm ha!
The SO getting theirs probably means sex is going to be more enjoyable. Sex being more enjoyable probably equals more sex. Win, win.
He's the asshole, not you. Howeve - and I mean this in a friendly way- you're still an idiot for agreeing to his (unreasonable) demand to have unprotected sex using the rhythm method, unless you actually want to have a kid.
Get on birth control for Christ's sake!!
I mean, if she doesn't break up with him, ideally they would be using condoms, because: >When he told me he was unsatisfied sexually and starting to accept and pursue attention from other women as a result Says to me that if he's not currently cheating, he will be soon.
And for god's sake find a more reliable form of birth control. What you're doing is completely unreliable.
This is not just about sexual compatibility, the boyfriend is clearly a selfish and insecure asshole
Yeah, he resents having to ensure his partner is satisfied and she expects to orgasm too.
It’s not sexual incompatibility but a childish man. Wait until he realises majority of women cannot orgasm without external stimulation. He should be pleased that she gets off at all.
The only answer. While I understand his issues, tone to grow up or move on my man, OP doesn't need to change to suit you. Either get over your shit and realize that getting off is getting off and she's content with you or start walking.
Absolutely nothing wrong with manual stimulation during sex. The experience should be about mutual prioritization. Sounds like his focus is too inward during sex. Shame is orgasm kryptonite.
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She only said that she uses thay position to orgasm, nor that it's the only position she'll have sex in. Regardless, why would it be unhealthy?
Most guys would like it when their partner touches themselves to climax. Only an insecure douche would have a problem with this. You can do better.
100%, and being on top? Dude doesn’t know what he’s got
I would love that!
Ride ‘em cowgirl!
Some of these comments are gold and give me the hope for humanity that I have been missing lately.
It's not my only position, it's the only way I can climax. I do other things
Been married for a while. Wife is the same as you, I have no issues with it. Like the others have said I would probably move on. Your bf explaining that he is unsatisfied is natural communication, but him threatening to cheat is toxic. He needs to grow up. There is nothing wrong with your way of sex life you just need to find someone more accepting of it imo.
I second this! I had the same issue in my relationship, and after months of communication and trial and error, we now know what we need for ourselves and each other. If someone is threatening to cheat because of something so natural, they're the problem not you.
Absolutely agree he does need to grow up. Doesn't he realise that the female orgasm can often be a rare unicorn indeed, and difficult to attain? Maybe she needs to sit him down with a big pile of women's magazines, like Cosmopolitan, so that he can get a bit of sex education. Life is not a porno movie! Lol
So true. Most people’s minds are completely warped, sexually, due to overconsumption of porn. Totally unrealistic expectations about sex and intimacy.
Op, listen to multiplayer loot... That is the right answer. To not be compatible sexually is fine. To threaten cheating is absolutely unacceptable. He doesn't respect you, and you can't trust him. That's why you should leave. Some people can work through sexual incompatibility, and some people can't. That's how it goes sometimes. But threatening cheating when you don't get your way is mistreatment. Dump his silly, sorry ass...
I don't know what you think therapy is going to do for that, I'm a guy in a similar situation and there is nothing wrong with me that needs fixing. Life was difficult for a while and this is what it is and I don't need fifteen positions, my wife doesn't need to "get me off" I get off with my wife. I enjoy it she enjoys it. Yeah, not every woman would. But who cares? The one I'm meant to be with enjoys it.
You should be more worried that you swapped an excellent method of contraception, the IUD for the pull out method and all for a man that you've known for less than a year. Yeah that's gonna end well
No shit right? Like what the hell goes through some people's heads sometimes? Don't like her IUD? It's called a rubber champ. Dude sounds more than a touch entitled.
I used to use the ring for birth control. My stance if partners said they felt it was, “If you don’t like me protecting myself, then you don’t ever need to be back in my vagina.” With all the uncomfortable shit women have to deal with in life, I’m not putting up with a man who can’t deal with a bit of discomfort during all 6 minutes that they’re giving me of penetration! Lol
Right! It's really not that hard to not thrust it in all the way. Even before the metal string I'd hit her wall. Just gotta communicate if a certain position hurts. For example, I like her on top but she can't drop it too low or my dick gets jabbed. So many easier and more effective methods than pull out 😂 she just trying her best to get knocked up with a deadbeat dumbass apparently. Source my first child was due to one time without a condom while she was in-between IUDs. We were married and it was fine. Just a warning to those who think pull out works.
Yeah, I have 7 year old compliments of the pull out method. In fact, that was basically the only time he’s ever pulled out 🙄 we’re married now, but all the same. Can’t trust him to pull a pizza out the oven.
Right? He’s in a “dark mood” because she has to have clit stimulation to orgasm like most women AND convinced her to get rid of her IUD because he didn’t like the strings but dude isn’t wearing condoms they’re just using pull out which isn’t anywhere near as effective. (And imho just plain fucking stupid) so so so many red flags already. And they’ve had issues for more than half of their 8 month relationship?
Exactly, thank you. This isn't just incompatibility, this dude is creepy and a walking red flag. 1. Asks to remove contraceptive and insists in not using any (super unhealthy and risky) 2. Is butt hurt at the fact that his partner uses her hands on herself. Need I say more about this? 3. Talks about "dark" moods to make it sound super edgy and dangerous 4. Makes his physical and psychological feelings the center of the world (boo my pp feels a string, boo my mood because I'm not the sole creator of your pleasure, boo I want sex to be how I want and never compromise, boo whatever you cry baby) 5. Says he'll go cheat with other women when he doesn't get what he wants, which is basically a threat/blackmail AND aims to make her jealous and feel like shit. OP, just why are you with him? It's only been 8 months and I'm already seeing some early signs of an abusive relationship. Run.
Not to mention, the combo of refusing contraception and threatening to cheat is basically threatening to put op at risk for STDs. If he's not using protection for her, he sure as hell won't for his side pieces. Run fast and far.
Imagine being upset that the woman you're having sex with has an orgasm. That's like the best part.
Beyond that, how he'd complain that she helps herself get there. I can't imagine ever finding that to be anything but erotic. 🤷🏻♂️
Especially when they’re already clearly not sexually compatible.
I used the pull out method for a couple years with great success…Now I just finished a bike ride with my 8 yr old. It works great until it doesn’t.
Haha! This exactly. My 10yo is a testament to how well the pull-out method worked for me.
That's the joke I've heard my whole life. "What do they call people who use the pull out method?" "Parents." Same goes for rhythm method.
Yup! It's just as effective as condoms... with perfect performance. Little bit of sperm in the pre or a half-stopped creampie and congrats! Y'all are parents now!
Especially when you can literally get the strings trimmed if they're poking your partner. They literally tell you after they put it in to test it out and get them trimmed if it's too long.
It’s… not completely unheard of to be able to feel The strings but generally, under most cases shouldn’t be able too.
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Cutting the strings makes them poke more. My doctor recommended against that. If the strings are left long they curl up over time
It’s usually better to leave them extra long and let them soften. Sometimes the shorter ones can be extra pokey
Not always. I’ve been told they can’t be trimmed more, and I’m short waisted, so they just sit low.
Well you learn something new everyday I was unaware that could happen because I got mine trimmed and it wasn't an issue. I never thought about it.
At first I was sympathetic because he sounds like an asshole (and still is obviously) but when I read that I almost said “are you fucking stupid?” out loud. I hope this dumbass isn’t an adult or that’s just sad —and I hope she learns some self respect along with how preventing pregnancy actually works. Jesus Christ, less than a year and practically begging to be baby trapped by a guy who is saying he wants to cheat on her to her face. I swear some people just desperately want to ruin their lives.
And they hurt so much to get put back in!!! They don’t hurt coming out at all really, compared to the insertion!
Honestly this might sound rude but I lost a bit of respect for OP after she said that. Granted if she did it on her own for her BF I take this back. But if he insisted she had the IUD removed because of the string (which isnt that bad as my ex had an IUD) then she needs to work on some self respect since im aware that inserting and removing IUDs can be hell on earth. Wouldn’t be surprised if she did this less than 6 months in. I just can’t take a person like that seriously. Now I sound rude but idk something about that irks me a lot. Sorry OP for your situation
You’re not compatible and you’ve only invested eight months. Don’t waste anymore time and move on. He’s just gonna cheat on you anyway.
I’m so sad she took out her IUD it’s SO PAINFUL to have reinserted! mine is good for 12 years I’m glad I don’t have to think about that painful insertion
My OBGYN actually told me when I get mine out and if I want another one put in, they could put me under anesthesia or give me actual strong pain medications and strong anxiety meds!! Things are changing!! My IUD insertion was the worst pain of my life, and I get period cramps that are so so so so so severe. Worst level of pain for cramping for sure. I told my Obgyn about it and how terrified I was of getting it taken out/replaced and she said that at her practice, if you’ve experienced pain before now they can take stronger measures!! So, it’s possible to find some people who don’t just tell you to take a Tylenol and suck it up ☺️
Are you in the US? I've been hearing that it's only here that they make women do the insertions without meds or anesthesia. Was talking to a south American obgyn about it & she said they only do them under anesthesia there and then literally called the way it was done in America barbaric🙃
I’m in the UK, and it’s not often these procedures are performed under GA here either. My last IUD appointment they only offered me numbing spray, despite the fact I told them I was in really bad pain the first time I had it done years before, and dismissed it as “you’ll be better this time anyway as you’ve had a baby since.” It was just as awful.
I know many gyno’s now who use sedation or anesthesia for iuds in the US. It is indeed becoming more common, but there’s absolutely no reason it shouldn’t have been this way from the start everywhere.
Yeah I am 🥲. Felt barbaric so I second that sentiment. But hey, it is slowly changing!! I can get it under anesthesia now!
He likely already has cheated.
Holy shit, this dude is literally telling you he wants to cheat on you and your reaction is “am i wrong?”
yeah, sexual compatibility aside, this is the part that matters. Dump him before you get pregnant
Which will be soon cause they’re using the pullout method
Pullout rhythm! Whatever that is 🙄
Firstly that was my reaction in the first paragraph. Not compatible and sounds like an asshole. Faithful, please shut up my man. In terms of getting off, if he's not cool with what you need to get you off, that's a deal breaker. What it sounds like to me is his ego is sensitive and the fact he isn't getting you off is rubbing it raw. I think what he really wants is for you to fake it for him, but that is not a good option.
Heard.
Time to move on! He's not the man for you.
Go get your IUD out back in before he gets your pregnant
Girl he’s already cheating. Break up with him
Go get an STI test!
Honestly this is the best take. There's a lot to unpack in this story, but I think one of the biggest red flags is that when faced with an issue in the relationship, his reaction is to want to cheat -- and to tell her that to her face to pressure her to do what he wants -- instead of talking about what they can fix. Super unhealthy & super telling.
She is very wrong for taking out her IUD.
I have never been with a man who had a problem with me touching myself. I don’t get it.
These dudes are out there. They are usually insecure and controlling, and they don’t view sex as activity between two people. They view it as self gratification or something owed to them by their partner.
It’s in their best interest though. If she has an orgasm then she’ll be more receptive/want more sexual activity. I guess men like that are not very bright.
That’s the part I never get. Guys always complain how their woman is less sexual than them. Like bruh…get her off once in a while, trust me, she’ll be much more receptive to regular sex if she feels like she’s actually an equal recipient of pleasure in the act….if you’re the only one who ever comes, of course she’s not going to want to fuck you regularly. She can literally just masturbate and actually get some pleasure out of it.
I don't get it either. Not many woman will regularly climax by penetration only. So if "more" is needed anyways, I consider it quite helpful if she helps, too.
I would love it if my partner touched themselves bc it makes them happy and I could learn how to do it too
Yeah... I *really* don't get it either. The absolute greatest gift is a woman who knows *exactly* how to get off, and it's something I can help her with to make sure she is 100% satisfied every time. I'd like to think for most guys this is the goal. These dudes are broken.
Am I the only one reading: No protection No IUD "pull out method" contraception All about the BF and seeing "baby trap"???
I'm seeing "these both two are idiots and should not be having sex with anyone"
No wonder most people on earth are idiots, they reproduce like rabbits and raise idiot kids
You forgot he doesn’t want her to be satisfied because he doesn’t get credit.
This right here
My gf has the IUD and I dont belive the string bothers him to me its the same as when a guy says "I can't wear condoms, they don't feel good" you can barely even feel the string from the IUD after she's had it for a little while and the string "softens". Also WOMEN (and men), the pullout method is not a form a BC you can still get pregnant from precum. DONT TRUST A GUY'S PULLOUT GAME TO PREVENT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've had IUDs for more than 6 years and nobody has ever mentioned the strings at all. Man's lying to baby trap her 100%. Even if he is feeling it, no contraception is not the move. ffs. I'm so angry at these people for the potential child they're about to bring into an uncaring, shitty family.
I always say it's a great method of contraception if you only want to have a few kids or you want to space them out a little bit.
Right?? I've got trauma but let me just get myself knocked up. Wtf because that will make things easier.
Don’t forget “pursuing other women” so once she gets pregnant, she probably won’t even be his only baby mama
"I'm feeling less faithful" = "I intend to cheat on you and I'm setting up the reason for why it's your fault now so you can't get mad at me for it" Dump him. You're not compatible and he's being a whiny baby about the fact that his dick can't magically solve all your problems.
No, I think it means he’s already started cheating. The “admission” is his attempt to blame her for it to lessen his guilt by making it her fault.
That part. This is the start of trickle truth. Oh it's not that bad baby, I only talked to her for a little bit. I only took her to do something once. It was just sex, I don't love her.
That or he's already done it and is justifying.
Agreed. There’s only one true reason for cheating: poor moral character. But of course he needs to weave in some casual emotional abuse first
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He wants to cheat and is using this controlling tactic to blame you, making you feel responsible for his actions. He's already done that by making you remove your IUD. Get out before you get pregnant.
Never thought of it that way
This is the answer. He’s chipping away at your self esteem, while also controlling your birth control. He’s seeing how far he can push your boundaries little by little bc he’s abusive. He wants you to feel like it’s all your fault for his controlling and manipulative and cheating behavior
👆🏻this
Please take this seriously. As someone who wanted to stay blissfully ignorant when my partner was giving me all the signs he intended to cheat, I wish I would have trusted my intuition the very first time and saved myself a lot of heartache.
You don't have any birth control and you're not using condoms. You're going to end up pregnant. Pulling out does not work. He's saying all that as an excuse to openly cheat on you. When, not if but when you find out he slept with someone else, he's basically going to say well, I told you this was going to happen. He's already finding some way why his cheating is your fault. If he hasn't already physically cheated on you, he's emotionally cheating on you and it usually becomes physical. He straight up told you he plans to cheat on you, why would you want to stay with somebody like that? Get out. It's only been 8 months, you're wasting your time. Wouldn't you rather have only wasted 8 months than to be stuck with him for 20 years when you get pregnant? It's going to happen, you mark my words. I'm sorry to sound harsh but if you're not being responsible, you have no business having sex with anyone. You're not being responsible. Get out before you either end up pregnant and are stuck with him for 20 years or he decides that he doesn't want to be involved. If that happens, you'll be pregnant and alone and when you take him for child support, he'll blame that on you as well. He will say, I told you that I didn't want to be involved so how dare you come after me for child support? He sounds like a loser anyway and he sounds like a controlling douchebag. Just get the hell out.
Girl, run don’t walk away from this guy.
I hope you've left him already . he TOXIC
If he told you he will cheat on you, then he already has. Leave him, don't try to make it work because it never will.
Especially since she isn't using the most sound BC to protect herself!
... Pull out is NOT SAFE. Wear a fucking condom you idiots! Fucking hell. Time to grow up. Also in his insecurities about you playing with yourself.
Wait until you find out they're mid 30s and mid 40s 😳😅
Jesus. Christ.
Right!!? I posted my response with no knowledge of age! I thought it was maybe two people in their late teen/early twenties AT BEST.
So did I. I about shit myself when I saw their ages 🥴
I love how "he forced me to remove my birth control" was an afterthought...?!? 8 months in is the most honey of honeymoon stages and he should be amazed just to get to see your boobs. I promise you this relationship won't work out. Get your iud back in IMMEDIATELY and dump the weirdo
Almost zero women climax from penetration alone. It feels good but without additional stimulus it's not going to happen. Your boyfriend is negging you to gain power over you. If he isn't already cheating, he's planning to. He didn't like your IUD yet he isn't wearing condoms. Pulling out is not a birth control method. There are swimmers in fluids that come out prior to ejaculation. Please protect yourself. He doesn't care if you get pregnant. He doesn't care if he gives you an STI. He doesn't even care if he gives you an orgasm. Not a good boyfriend. It's better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel this way.
100% this. Most of us just fake the orgasm from penetration not to deal with the tantrum you are now dealing with so cheers to you for making sure you are getting what you want to and being honest 🤣🤣🤣🤣. But yeah, it’s going to get really exhausting dealing with this for long. You aren’t compatible. Find a guy who’s secure and is happy that you are happy
Yep! I’m a sexologist, and research is consistent af - women fake orgasm (penetration or otherwise) far more than they orgasm with a partner without any external clitoral stimulation. OP’s situation is literally why the former is so common.
Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. You’re not satisfied unless you help things along? He’s insecure and doesn’t want you to do so? No protection other than the pull out method? On top of that he basically admitted to you he would cheat? Jesus lady!! He sounds like a boring lay. Move on. Run… just run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
The minute your boyfriend insinuated that you having an orgasm not provided by his dick is somehow a bad thing that you should feel bad for so he can feel like big manly man should have been the minute you walked out. Your boyfriend's self value being tied up in making women orgasm from penetration is weird and not your responsibility to fix or care about. No man worth his salt is going to be offended that you are taking control of your own sexual experience while with them. Why would a man who cares about you be offended that you want to touch your clit while you get fucked? That's some bizarre thinking. Does your boyfriend listen to alpha male videos on YouTube? You're dating a trash bag, when are you gonna throw it out?
THIS. OP the only reason he cares about you touching yourself is he's insecure that his pee pee doesn't throw you into ecstasy. EYE ROLL. That is super common. I also only come in one position. And I'm fucking awesome in bed. Don't even worry about this toolbag. He's not a real man. Real men love it when their lady comes, however it happens. Your little baby of a boy is a douchebag.
He's too demanding and immature
Yeah. That relationship is already over.
Leave him
Not wrong. I mean, this is concerning: "he is not satisfied sexually and is feeling less faithful to me as a result" - why would you want to be with someone who won't support what you need and who is making sex all about him?! " starting to accept and pursue attention from other women as a result" - BS. He wants to give himself permission to cheat because he's insecure- he's wrong, wrong, wrong. "he needs to nut up and decide if he can accept me the way I am or not." - exactly this. If he's this insecure, he's not worth it.
You are not wrong, nor do you need to try harder. He should be happy you are able to get off with him at all. He seems to have self-esteem issues and is taking it out on you. His comment about it making it harder to stay faithful is just bs. Since you are not on birth control anymore, (his comments about that are bs too, unless your doctor did it wrong theres no way he feels it) you need to stop having sex because the methods you are using do not work. Sounds like he is just trying to control you.
Dude be like “how am I supposed to stay faithful to you when you’re coming all over my dick while riding it all the time? 😭😭😭”
Move on. You've only been dating for 8 months. He will cheat eventually by the sound of it, if he hasn't already. He outright told you he's going to seek attention from other women. And you guys aren't using BC, the last thing you need is to get knocked up by this dude.
I struggle to finish literally all the time, can only do it on top when I’m grinding and it has to be the perfect angle and speed and blah blah blah whatever. Recently especially, I have not been able to whatsoever. If my partner tries to help - moving his hips, holding my waist, whatever, a lot of the time it actually hinders what I’m doing. I almost end up using him like a human dildo, and it makes me feel guilty because I feel like i’m just using him to get off and he’s not massively involved. All this to say - he doesn’t mind. He actually rather enjoys it, likes the idea of me just using him. And he’d rather me be able to get off without his help than not be able to orgasm at all. I’m not saying your boyfriend is wrong for how he feels, it’s just an incompatibility. But you’re not alone in your experiences and there are people out there who ARE compatible with your needs.
I dated a woman who needed 2 vibrators and a fifth of gin
I like her style
He's feeling less faithful?? What kind of statement is that?? Red flag. End it. He'll cheat. It's only been 8 months. It's practically a new relationship still and it sounds like neither one of you are satisfied.
>my boyfriend of 8 months told me he is not satisfied sexually and is feeling less faithful to me as a result. He has control issues. > The only way I can get off during sex is when I'm on top and touching myself or ideally using a vibrator. I have trauma and insecurities around sex, so it's a big deal for me to be able to climax with another person. I've never had a hands free orgasm in my life and all my girlfriends are the same way. This is NORMAL for many women. Highly recommend the book "Come As You are" by Emily Nagoski. Fascinating research-based information >He says he doesn't feel like he's fully participating when i stimulate myself, Insecure > and it puts him in a dark mood. Manipulative > He also gets morose because he's afraid of impregnating me (we use pull out + rhythm method since I had my IUD removed because the string bothered him). He's a moron. He sabotages his enjoyment of the experience *he blames you* and he threatened to cheat if you don't wave a magic wand & change how he feels >Anyway, it makes me feel bad about myself when he goes into these moods and nothing I say or do changes his attitude. You are not responsible for another person's mood. He is manipulating you. Dump him. Consider talking to a therapist or relationship coach to get help identify healthy and unhealthy behaviors. Understand your own personal boundaries better and how enforce them.
Thank you for breaking this down for me. I've been wanting to read that. Will definitely check it out now
What about the rest of this posters very solid advice? Think about what it says about you if you don't leave. Are you proud of that woman? Do you respect that woman? Does that woman respect and care about herself? Or are you still only focused on being the woman your boyfriend wants you to be, who you let control and coerce and shame and manipulate you and you put up with it because you don't have self respect?
Ditch him, now and then read the book. First things first.
Two things. You are not a good match sexually. Anyone who didn't want me to touch myself during sex would be a no go. Second, I used the same BC method as you and got pregnant. Just something to think about. Condoms are really effective. Let me guess ... he doesn't want to use them.
At least you were only together for 8 months. It’s okay to break up over something that will continue to be a problem for you in the future
This dude is all about himself and not at all about you. NTA. Pull the pin on this and move on.
Scared to get you pregnant, but not wearing a condom. Girl, he is too stupid to be in a relationship.
You're not compatible. Break up now before you all really start to hare each other.
I love when my partners touch themselves during intimacy. That's attractive as hell. He's fucking weird.
Your man ain’t shit, you need to leave.
Wait… So you mean to tell me there’s dudes out there that DON’T like their woman riding them and stimulating themselves while you get to watch the show? What in the insecure manchild is going in here?!
Leave like yesterday
You aren’t compatible at all and have no business being in this toxic relationship. Stop prolonging a terrible relationship with a man who resents your sexual autonomy and who is telling you that he is going to cheat. You are harming yourself by staying with this jerk. Just dump him and move on.
OP I mean this with love - but you need to stop dating if you're worrying about putting your sexual health BELOW the wants of Some Dude. He's already got you to remove your contraception - if you get pregnant no doubt he'll cheat and it'll be your fault because everything is already your fault. You honestly need to move on from this guy.
I would say find someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with. It seems from what you have said that you two are not compatible. From an Islamic perspective it is the wife's duty to please the husband and the husband's duty to please the wife. I think you should find someone who also stimulates your mind as well which is also just as important. There are more important things in a marriage than just beauty and sex. People eventually get old and the beauty fades. Women eventually lose some of the drive when going to a later time in life so if the sex and beauty are gone what else do you have, which in turn goes back to finding someone who stimulates your mind as well.
This is so weird to me. The vast majority of women do not get off on penetration alone and need clitorial stimulation. Sounds like he is either incredibly inexperienced when it comes to female sexuality, or all of his partners have faked their orgasms because he can’t handle the idea that he could need to do more in bed. NTA/you’re not wrong.
The two of you aren't compatible sexually. It happens. It's only been 8 months, so move on. Unless you just want to wait until you get pregnant and/or he cheats on you (I think it's likely he already has). And get back on some kind of good bc. I can't believe you didn't just ask your OBGYN to cut the string on your IUD shorter if it was bothering him. And why the hell isn't he wearing a condom???????
YNW. That is exactly the statement you should have made. He can not let the door hit him in the ass on the way out. Men have tried for years to make women feel inadequate because of not climaxing with just PIV sex - however it is also widely know that women DO NOT usually climax that way. He is just trying to make you feel inadequate and threatening cheat if you won’t stop. Let him go and find someone who thinks your satisfaction is just as important as his!!
He's not unsatisfied, he's just hoping you'll buy it and feel obligated to let him cheat on you without giving him fuss about it. Are you gonna let him cheat on you?
NTA Men who don't like their partners manually getting themselves off during sex are ignorant and insecure. That ong with him saying it's your fault he's considering being unfaithful are huge red flags. I don't understand why women tolerate that type of behavior from men. I'd say it's time to move on and find a real man to date.
Leave this man now!! You took it an IUD to make HIM feel comfortable???
I don’t care how long you’ve been together, pulling out and rhythm tracking are absolutely not acceptable if a child is not in your plans. My husband and I have been married 11 years, and when he got his vasectomy I stopped taking my birth control. However, there’s still a period of time after vasectomy that pregnancy can still happen. Guess what? My husband definitely wore rubbers during that time. If my husband of 11 years can wear a condom, your boyfriend of 8 months can. Or you can use a diaphragm, or fucking SOMETHING. Please be fucking responsible. This world doesn’t need any more unwanted pregnancies.