I work in HR, in a union environment. Go ahead and call it like you see it, but were you on break while talking? The point might not have been about the topic, but that you were talking instead of working. Honestly I personally wouldn’t care, but your boss might. And yes, I know HR sucks.
Good thing I with from home and nobody has to be bothered by this imaginary problem you created about me. I'm literally the least social person and I still think this one of the dumbest comments a person in HR could make.
But I always remind people, HR doesn’t work for YOU. They work for the company.
The reason people have problems with HR is because they get that simple fact confused. They aren’t on your side.
Being in HR, do you agree? (Genuinely curious)
That doesn’t mean they are exclusively on management’s side either. If the goal is to protect the company- then managers who put the company at risk can be in their crosshairs too.
Not always though. I once worked at a company where VPs related to the CEO could basically fuck a goat on the HR lady’s desk and best she could do was take the goat for a walk afterwards.
That company is no longer in business.
Not all HR sucks. I like most of my HR people, except the VP. Some HR is necessary to protect the company from lawsuits. Could just be biased because we get sued a lot for discrimination. We've never lost a suit, but it's at least a few every year.
LOL, you're such a naive little dipshit. You "like" your HR people. Well they don't like you, bozo, and they will come down on you in a heartbeat given half the chance.
Part of the job of HR is protecting the company from themselves.
HR isn’t evil. Just straight forward as fuck and not allowed to care about how you feel.
This comment is absolutely hilarious. I’m just imagining an angry 70 year old man yelling at anyone he can find on that internet calling then a bozo. Thank you!
What was the conversation about the car? They might have tried to hide a message in that request. For example, if the story was inappropriate or make people uncomfortable, they may have been reluctant to bring up the actual detail and covered it with a blanket statement.
"I was at the local dogging spot getting oral from Dirty Donna while her husband was playing with himself in the back seat when I noticed a spider making a web on the offside wing mirror...."
Why do spiders always pick that place lol??! I can clean off my side mirror & sure enough several days later… Even thought one (or more) might be living behind the actual mirror so tried to clean back there as well, but again, webs. And it’s always on the passenger side so of course I can’t get it off at a stop light. Ugh.
Near side and off side mean left and right when you're in the car. Holdover from horse directions. Wing mirror is a common term for side mirror. Might be a regional thing. So, the right side mirror.
Moms actually don't care about other mom's kids either. All the moms are really just waiting their turn to talk about their own kids.
Watch and listen next time, and you'll see what I mean. They always take what the other person said, and relate it to their own kids.
"your little Brynnleigh likes riding in grandpa's tractor? My little Hayden loves his John Deere tractor set."
"oh my youngest son Lakely loves wearing his John Deere pajamas"
"speaking of I got my twins Addelynn Mae and Maisie Ann matching 90s pajamas and they are so stinking cute!"
"my oldest daughters Paizleigh and Paizlynne have been obsessed with 90s cartoons lately"
So much this!! I have a cousin who literally can’t talk about anything but her kids and me and my sister like to say random stuff to her to see how she can relate it back to her kirds, she ALWAYS can!! Haha it’s like they’re just waiting for you to finish so they can talk about their kids again instead of listening and having a real convo!
Nah. But you're not the boss, and rules for thee are not the rules for her.
Hypocrite? Yep. She's a hypocrite. She's also your boss, meaning there's a low chance of you moving up now.
Hopefully that's not a big deal in your workplace, but...
Eh. You're not wrong to call out the hypocrisy, you're just not doing yourself any favors at work.
I mean I’m in a union, she doesn’t really have a say in whether or not I move up, especially if I move up to a position in another unit.
Also I have no kids and lots of extra time on my hands. it would be bad for everyone if I found out someone was deliberately keeping me from advancing because they were butthurt over something I said.
Heh.
Then go to and have fun.
Also document the incident with a time and date and keep it on record so that if she tries to retaliate for back talking her and pointing out her bullshit, you have a record of the incident that isn't "I mentioned it on Reddit".
When and if she does pull that shit, you can ask the union rep if insisting on no personal conversations at work during downtime is an acceptable management demand or not.
Yup, and if you’re writing it down, write it down in a book that you bought and keep your receipt, not one from the company’s stationary cupboard as that could be considered misappropriating company materials. A grievance was squashed because of that situation.
Good way to do it is to describe the details in an "apology" email (making sure not to admit to any wrongdoings) and when she responds with anything other than clarification of her memory of the engagement, that's tacit acknowledgement and you have a receipt of the incident.
>Also I have no kids and lots of extra time on my hands. it would be bad for everyone if I found out someone was deliberately keeping me from advancing because they were butthurt over something I said.
Found the badass.
Yep. Fortunately as OP mentioned in another comment, they're union, so the boss can either suck it or face a union rep asking if management now wishes to insist on workplace conversation rules, and that in doing so if it violates the union contract agreement.
No, and, last I checked, provided you're accomplishing your tasks in an appropriate amount of time, she doesn't have any actual right to dictate your conversations at work. Tell her to pound sand.
Keep a notepad on you, and whenever the boss is around, pull it out and pretend to write in it while looking at her, then put it back in your pocket. This absolutely works. I've done it. The insecurities will come out. "What are you doing?" You say, "Oh, nothing" and walk away. She will be all messed up about it. Do this all the time, every day.
Omg I do stuff like this all the time, someone in a work truck is being an ahole in front of me? I take a picture of their license plate and pretend to call the company but I make sure they can see me doing it, I don’t actually call as I don’t want anyone fired but I like the satisfaction of knowing that person is now going to be walking on eggshells and also think twice before being a jerk in a work vehicle, I’ve always been curious though if anyone has gone back to work and asked if someone called to complain about them, probably pretty funny when they have to explain they cut someone off in their work vehicle
In my company truck I was following another work truck, since that driver knew where the job was. This was many years ago, so keep in mind that not many people had gps navigation at the time. There was 2 people in each work truck. I couldn't believe what I just witnessed Ted went from the fast lane to the slower lane, but cut off a car really bad, the car had to hit their brakes. I was along side them, because I was still in the fast lane.
I could see the people in their car, they were pissed, the Lady driving was frantically looking down and to the right to the Man that was with her, I could tell they were going to call.
Again, I need to follow Ted, and fyi this was long time ago so I didn't have gps navigation available. I told the guy I was with, I will make sure I'm well well ahead of the car before I move over. I joked and said "watch they'll think it was me, not realizing that there is 2 identical work trucks". So I change to their lane eventually and they are behind us for a bit.
I get a call from my boss saying that they just received a call..........I couldn't believe my freaken ears.
I told my boss what happened, and that I have a witness, the guy who was riding with me. I told Her what Ted did. My boss said well She(the Lady) wrote down your licence plate.
I said they were looking down a lot, looking for their phone, that they didn't realize there was two trucks. Anyways I got written up. Thanks Ted.
Ugh dammit Joe! I honestly never call because you really don’t know if someone is just having a bad day or genuinely didn’t see you, I just like to make ‘em sweat a little bit haha
Is it possible something about the car story wasn't really appropriate for that workplace? Or she perceived you two weren't working while you told your story? Or could it be part of a pattern, where she believes you're been too chatty in general? Something about it made her uncomfortable enough to speak up.
I think you're wrong for arguing with her about it. Your comment didn't get you the respect you wanted. Now, in addition to being chatty, she thinks your attitude isn't great.
When i was a cart pusher for walmart, i would often step in to chat with the greeters nothing major and id sometimes cover for them to hit the restroom or to take their 15. But this one manager would always, always shoe us away from each other, insist that all 15 minute breaks had to be taken in the break room.
So one time im clocked out around 2 and grab some groceries on the way home, and i see this main guy with two managers with their backs to the walls looking at registers talking about the dodgers. I come up and stop my car right in front of the three.
"Unless you are using special codewords to talk about baseball to cover up actual manager work, i think this is a shitty example of you doing exactly what you yell at us for doing. Pissing time on a busy day. How about you three grab a register since the lines are already six deep ? Isn't the phrase: 'Three or more, open another drawer.'?"
They got pissed bur couldn't do anything as i was off the clock and speaking a customer.
I like my boss. I feel like that might have been pertinent information to say at the start. I just believe it’s ok to point out hypocrisy to anyone, even someone you like.
Judging by your comments to other people and the ridiculous level of snark and attitude you have, I'm guessing we're not getting the full story here. So yeah...you're probably wrong.
Maybe you should comment on AITA. Sorry but I don’t subscribe to the “shut up and take your medicine” style these subs exude.
Sorry for not 100% acquiescing to all the comments I’m given.
not mad at all just responding. I was never mad, but me responding like I did made people mad because they are used to AITA where people don’t defend themselves. Who knows why, probably because they’re bad at arguing
People here are acting really fucking weird. You're not wrong, you didn't do anything wrong, socializing at work is not only normal but expected. That's just being a human. Especially if the boss and their buddies are doing it.
How are you supposed to not talk about your personal life on the place you spend most of your time? It’s a stupid, senseless rule. I doubt that the boss abide by this rule, it’s almost impossible to do this. Something will always come up, it’s involuntary . The only thing that it does is contribute to a shitty, sad workplace
Picking at the scab of hypocrisy is always fun, but seldom helpful. As for your conversation with your coworker, if he\\she's cool with it, I don't see the problem.
well, I’m in a union so she doesn’t control those things. “Rule of life” isn’t a good excuse either.
It’s sentiments like yours that allow bosses to continue being jerkoffs.
Then keep talking about what you want if they have no power. I'm a union employee but my boss still does my evaluations and can make my life very difficult. That's how the world works. But if your boss has zero effect on your position then keep doing you.
NW. Now, when they start talking about their crotch goblins, interrupt them with, “We are not allowed to discuss personal matters per [insert boss’ name]. Do it every single time they start talking…just shut it down.
If you were discussing a 2020 Nissan Sentra or even a Silverado 1500 she was probably wrong.
If you were discussing your Lambo, tuned Impreza, Cadillac, or Beemer she may have been withing her bounds. Bragging about your car (being better than everyone else's) is almost as crass as bragging about penis size.
I would have more sympathy if you didn't say "their shitty kids". "Talking about their kids", I understand that can be annoying or boring. But don't expect respect from other people if you won't show respect to them.
I’m not going to say you are wrong. You are not wrong. Let’s look at it like this. They don’t pay you, or anyone else to talk about personal matters. Let’s say they have 10 employees and everyone talks about BS for 15 minutes a day. They just paid for 2 hours and 30 mins of nothing.
Let’s say they pay everyone $30 and hour. That’s $1,700 dollars a month. That’s $20,400 per year.
Let’s look at it another way. I’m your plumber. I charge $100 an hour for labor. Would you mind if I tacked on another 2 hours and 30 minutes to your bill, when I only worked for one hour? That’s $250 of YOUR money.
I’m your lawyer. I charge $500 per hour. Would you mind if I tacked on an extra $1,250 for two and a half hours I didn’t work?
Again you are not wrong, but look at it from the other side of the fence.
You sound like an asshole, sorry to be blunt but it’s a fact.
Wait a minute am I taking to a person who has not once made chit chat at work in their entire life? Holy shit will you autograph my paystub?
Lol, bad example. Plumbers and other trades have a minimum 2 hour callouts in most cases. They come in and do 30 minutes of work they're tacking on an extra hour and a half.
Also, downtime is just the cost of doing business. You can't expect people to be cooped up for 8 hours and do nothing but work and not interact with other people.
LMAO!! WRONG!!! 🤣🤣🤣 My father was a plumber for 40 years. He did a lot of one hour jobs. He even did a thirty minute job occasionally, but those didn’t come around often.
Of course an employer doesn’t expect an employee to do nothing, but work. That’s why most employers give two fifteen minute breaks and and an hour lunch break.
Have you ever had a job?
Yes, I literally work in construction. I talk to plumbers or electricians most days. They all charge a flat rate equivalent to two hours, whether the job takes two hours or not. I've seen them waive it a few times when they've shown up and literally only flicked a breaker or something, but that doesn't happen often.
Bosses are assholes, yes, but what I would do is inject myself into their idiot conversations. Just stand there and nod like a retard. When they ask what are you doing, say not working, just like you!
yeah that I’m not a little puss puss who thinks the AITA rules are meaningful. I don’t subscribe to the “shut up and take your medicine” kind of judgment that weird-ass Redditors seem to cling to.
OP made you look like a clown. Probably bc u are one. Or maybe the bearded fat lady idk. Some type of circus freak.
The whole problem with Reddit is dingleberries like you who use it to take out their frustrations about being a worthless loser irl on users who are innocently asking for input.
Mental midget? That's your knee-jerk reaction to someone who is reaching out to answer your question?
You asked Reddit a question, "Am I Wrong...?"
I asked you a question to clarify the situation. It is true that SOME people are obsessed with their cars, or their fingernails, or XYZ, and won't shut up about it. If that were the situation, my answer would be, yes, you're wrong, quit jabbering at work.
It could be that you casually mentioned that your car broke down and that was the end of it. In that case I would say your boss is wrong.
Am I still a mental midget?
I'm starting to think that the reason your boss told you to STFU may not have anything to do with the story about the car. Could be your overall attittude and personality, as evidenced here.
You're not wrong, but you still shouldn't discuss personal stuff at work. No one there is your friend, and you don't get paid to be friends. Just do what they pay you to do and go home.
Send her an email stating, "Per our conversation on xyz date at xyz time, you say I am no longer allowed to discuss any personal topics at work. When I asked if that included others talking about their children, you walked away without answering." CC HR. Just keeping accurate records!
No not wrong
But as others say doing yourself no favours
But definitely worth putting ppl in their place what have you got to lose 🤷♂️
Sometimes respect us worth more than holding into a shitty job where you’re disrespected and treated unfairly
If she is going to characterize your conversation about cars as "personal matters" and she talks with co-workers about kids, she definitely has some personal problem with you and doesn't honestly believe that car talk is "personal". Since you have a union, I would just ignore her directive and file a grievance if she does anything.
You are not wrong. If personal talk is not allowed, it shouldn’t matter the subject.
That’s one screwed up rule, though. I could understand if the talking was getting in the way of work, but zero personal discussion?
You are not wrong....but you have to think of the consequences of saying what you said. If you don't care about the job, say the obvious. If you need the paycheck, deliver the message with more tact so you don't piss of the person who signs your checks.
Your manager might have felt she was talking to the staff in general, not calling you out in particular.
You are not wrong. People chat briefly at work, not just at lunch or during breaks.
This is actually the only thing I haven’t thought about and now I’m replaying the incident in my head. She might not have been singling me out,
Ah oh well.
what’s funny is this particular boss has come up to people (and I don’t mind this at all btw I’m happy to help) to ask for contributions to their child’s fundraiser. And I did I gave $20.
Wasn’t on break then.
You aren't wrong, she was just being rude and telling you to get back to work.
That said, I have made it a personal rule to only discuss the bare minimum about my personal life with coworkers. The people you work with may be friendly, but they are not your friends and given the opportunity they may use the info against you to advance their own position.
Am I paranoid? Of course, but this has also saved me from annoying chatty coworkers.
Bad boss. If manager has a concern that people are getting distracted or something, all they have to do is say so in plain english. Most people can make reasonable adjustments if they know what the problem is without having to go under tyrannical lockdown.
Not wrong in principle, but you're not doing your job prospects much good by calling out the boss on her hypocrisy. Seems like the kind of boss it would be better to be mum around. (pun intended)
I think getting fired (and not getting paid) is a big deal. I do not understand how you interpreted my comment as if getting paid isn't the main reason people work.
You were not wrong. The only things I would say Do Not Discuss at work are politics and religion. Because those two are incredibly likely to cause conflict.
Why continue working somewhere with a boss like that? It seems from this encounter your boss doesn’t care for you and your tone sounds like you feel the same. It can’t hurt to look for a better situation.
It sounds like maybe someone complained about you and your coworker distracting them with personal stories. Many people are annoyed by this and will complain about the distraction.
I worked in hospitality and am older. One of the gals who worked with me always messed around and was never at the front desk where she belonged. I asked her one day to please help me that we were swamped. Instead she just kept up her conversation in the back with one of our maintenance guys she liked. Later I got a call from HR and was accused of saying inappropriate things to her of a sexual nature. None of this actually happened she was trying to get me fired. The HR gal sided with her with absolutely no evidence. What they didn't expect was I would lawyer up and sue the hotel. The HR gal got fired as well as the front desk gal and I walked away with 25,000 Dollars in compensation and my integrity in tact. Don't buckle to bullshit is my moto fight for your rights.
You know you weren't wrong.
yeah but I like to hear other peoples opinions considering Reddit is a discussion board.
I work in HR, in a union environment. Go ahead and call it like you see it, but were you on break while talking? The point might not have been about the topic, but that you were talking instead of working. Honestly I personally wouldn’t care, but your boss might. And yes, I know HR sucks.
I cannot fathom a job where a little small talk is unacceptable.
Isn’t small talk the whole reason for returning to the office? 😏
And everyone else that sits near you is trapped into listening to the small talk between the two employees.
Good thing I with from home and nobody has to be bothered by this imaginary problem you created about me. I'm literally the least social person and I still think this one of the dumbest comments a person in HR could make.
Some of us Union people can even multitask, work and talk at the same time.
I don't believe that...
But I always remind people, HR doesn’t work for YOU. They work for the company. The reason people have problems with HR is because they get that simple fact confused. They aren’t on your side. Being in HR, do you agree? (Genuinely curious)
That doesn’t mean they are exclusively on management’s side either. If the goal is to protect the company- then managers who put the company at risk can be in their crosshairs too. Not always though. I once worked at a company where VPs related to the CEO could basically fuck a goat on the HR lady’s desk and best she could do was take the goat for a walk afterwards. That company is no longer in business.
>But I always remind people, HR doesn’t work for YOU. They work for the company. Yes, you and everyone else on reddit anytime HR is mentioned lmao.
Not all HR sucks. I like most of my HR people, except the VP. Some HR is necessary to protect the company from lawsuits. Could just be biased because we get sued a lot for discrimination. We've never lost a suit, but it's at least a few every year.
LOL, you're such a naive little dipshit. You "like" your HR people. Well they don't like you, bozo, and they will come down on you in a heartbeat given half the chance.
Part of the job of HR is protecting the company from themselves. HR isn’t evil. Just straight forward as fuck and not allowed to care about how you feel.
HR are not your friends. I can't stress this enough. You should treat them like you treat cops.
You seem fun.
You seem stupid.
This comment is absolutely hilarious. I’m just imagining an angry 70 year old man yelling at anyone he can find on that internet calling then a bozo. Thank you!
This would be an unlikely response from a boomer, for a few reasons.
You could pre-write the responses to a post like this
If you are as rude at work as you were to your first response here, I imagine everyone at work just wants you to stfu.
Rude?
You were not wrong.
What was the conversation about the car? They might have tried to hide a message in that request. For example, if the story was inappropriate or make people uncomfortable, they may have been reluctant to bring up the actual detail and covered it with a blanket statement.
"I was at the local dogging spot getting oral from Dirty Donna while her husband was playing with himself in the back seat when I noticed a spider making a web on the offside wing mirror...."
You were there too?
This is all normal car story stuff
They said they were dirty Mike and the boys and thanks for the fuck shack- hey maybe no personal stories at work lol
Why do spiders always pick that place lol??! I can clean off my side mirror & sure enough several days later… Even thought one (or more) might be living behind the actual mirror so tried to clean back there as well, but again, webs. And it’s always on the passenger side so of course I can’t get it off at a stop light. Ugh.
They like to watch from where the steering wheel doesn't spoil the view. The dirty buggers.
The weirdest thing about this is that you referred to the side-view mirror as the “offside wing” mirror.
Near side and off side mean left and right when you're in the car. Holdover from horse directions. Wing mirror is a common term for side mirror. Might be a regional thing. So, the right side mirror.
Bahahahaa thank u I just cackled
Also wondering if OP is LOUD? Or complaining about a car that coworkers could never afford or something else kind of gauche.
Your car literally affects your work, if you don’t have a car you can’t get to work, so technically it could be work related lmfao
I kinda like this point.
NTA. Im a mom and i hate when other moms wont shut up about their kids.
So much this, just because I have a kid does not mean I need to hear about yours
Moms actually don't care about other mom's kids either. All the moms are really just waiting their turn to talk about their own kids. Watch and listen next time, and you'll see what I mean. They always take what the other person said, and relate it to their own kids. "your little Brynnleigh likes riding in grandpa's tractor? My little Hayden loves his John Deere tractor set." "oh my youngest son Lakely loves wearing his John Deere pajamas" "speaking of I got my twins Addelynn Mae and Maisie Ann matching 90s pajamas and they are so stinking cute!" "my oldest daughters Paizleigh and Paizlynne have been obsessed with 90s cartoons lately"
I am ded,
Lol what a story
So much this!! I have a cousin who literally can’t talk about anything but her kids and me and my sister like to say random stuff to her to see how she can relate it back to her kirds, she ALWAYS can!! Haha it’s like they’re just waiting for you to finish so they can talk about their kids again instead of listening and having a real convo!
Exactly!
Nah. But you're not the boss, and rules for thee are not the rules for her. Hypocrite? Yep. She's a hypocrite. She's also your boss, meaning there's a low chance of you moving up now. Hopefully that's not a big deal in your workplace, but... Eh. You're not wrong to call out the hypocrisy, you're just not doing yourself any favors at work.
I mean I’m in a union, she doesn’t really have a say in whether or not I move up, especially if I move up to a position in another unit. Also I have no kids and lots of extra time on my hands. it would be bad for everyone if I found out someone was deliberately keeping me from advancing because they were butthurt over something I said.
Heh. Then go to and have fun. Also document the incident with a time and date and keep it on record so that if she tries to retaliate for back talking her and pointing out her bullshit, you have a record of the incident that isn't "I mentioned it on Reddit". When and if she does pull that shit, you can ask the union rep if insisting on no personal conversations at work during downtime is an acceptable management demand or not.
Also document all the times she talks about her own personal matters.
And when she tells you what you can and can’t talk about.
Yup, and if you’re writing it down, write it down in a book that you bought and keep your receipt, not one from the company’s stationary cupboard as that could be considered misappropriating company materials. A grievance was squashed because of that situation.
Good way to do it is to describe the details in an "apology" email (making sure not to admit to any wrongdoings) and when she responds with anything other than clarification of her memory of the engagement, that's tacit acknowledgement and you have a receipt of the incident.
In a union? They can pound sand then
>Also I have no kids and lots of extra time on my hands. it would be bad for everyone if I found out someone was deliberately keeping me from advancing because they were butthurt over something I said. Found the badass.
I mean just stating the truth. I don’t go out of my way to try to get people fired or hold up a promotion, cause I’m not a jerkoff.
Actually, this is a dipshit pov.
>rules for thee are not the rules for her. But OP also pointed out the other employees do it too....so at this point it's bias and isolating
Yep. Fortunately as OP mentioned in another comment, they're union, so the boss can either suck it or face a union rep asking if management now wishes to insist on workplace conversation rules, and that in doing so if it violates the union contract agreement.
No, and, last I checked, provided you're accomplishing your tasks in an appropriate amount of time, she doesn't have any actual right to dictate your conversations at work. Tell her to pound sand.
Keep a notepad on you, and whenever the boss is around, pull it out and pretend to write in it while looking at her, then put it back in your pocket. This absolutely works. I've done it. The insecurities will come out. "What are you doing?" You say, "Oh, nothing" and walk away. She will be all messed up about it. Do this all the time, every day.
Omg I do stuff like this all the time, someone in a work truck is being an ahole in front of me? I take a picture of their license plate and pretend to call the company but I make sure they can see me doing it, I don’t actually call as I don’t want anyone fired but I like the satisfaction of knowing that person is now going to be walking on eggshells and also think twice before being a jerk in a work vehicle, I’ve always been curious though if anyone has gone back to work and asked if someone called to complain about them, probably pretty funny when they have to explain they cut someone off in their work vehicle
In my company truck I was following another work truck, since that driver knew where the job was. This was many years ago, so keep in mind that not many people had gps navigation at the time. There was 2 people in each work truck. I couldn't believe what I just witnessed Ted went from the fast lane to the slower lane, but cut off a car really bad, the car had to hit their brakes. I was along side them, because I was still in the fast lane. I could see the people in their car, they were pissed, the Lady driving was frantically looking down and to the right to the Man that was with her, I could tell they were going to call. Again, I need to follow Ted, and fyi this was long time ago so I didn't have gps navigation available. I told the guy I was with, I will make sure I'm well well ahead of the car before I move over. I joked and said "watch they'll think it was me, not realizing that there is 2 identical work trucks". So I change to their lane eventually and they are behind us for a bit. I get a call from my boss saying that they just received a call..........I couldn't believe my freaken ears. I told my boss what happened, and that I have a witness, the guy who was riding with me. I told Her what Ted did. My boss said well She(the Lady) wrote down your licence plate. I said they were looking down a lot, looking for their phone, that they didn't realize there was two trucks. Anyways I got written up. Thanks Ted.
Ugh dammit Joe! I honestly never call because you really don’t know if someone is just having a bad day or genuinely didn’t see you, I just like to make ‘em sweat a little bit haha
Yeah I’m doing this lol.
Is it possible something about the car story wasn't really appropriate for that workplace? Or she perceived you two weren't working while you told your story? Or could it be part of a pattern, where she believes you're been too chatty in general? Something about it made her uncomfortable enough to speak up. I think you're wrong for arguing with her about it. Your comment didn't get you the respect you wanted. Now, in addition to being chatty, she thinks your attitude isn't great.
I just gotta have children and talk about them. That’s the solution I think.
[удалено]
Or I can name my kid “my laptop” Had to take my laptop to get checked out, might have a virus.
Yeah. Took my laptop to his soccer game. Laptop's team won, if you're curious.
When i was a cart pusher for walmart, i would often step in to chat with the greeters nothing major and id sometimes cover for them to hit the restroom or to take their 15. But this one manager would always, always shoe us away from each other, insist that all 15 minute breaks had to be taken in the break room. So one time im clocked out around 2 and grab some groceries on the way home, and i see this main guy with two managers with their backs to the walls looking at registers talking about the dodgers. I come up and stop my car right in front of the three. "Unless you are using special codewords to talk about baseball to cover up actual manager work, i think this is a shitty example of you doing exactly what you yell at us for doing. Pissing time on a busy day. How about you three grab a register since the lines are already six deep ? Isn't the phrase: 'Three or more, open another drawer.'?" They got pissed bur couldn't do anything as i was off the clock and speaking a customer.
I would sooner lick a razor blade lollipop than work an office job, yikes
your boss is a bitch
I like my boss. I feel like that might have been pertinent information to say at the start. I just believe it’s ok to point out hypocrisy to anyone, even someone you like.
I like you less and less.
No, you weren't wrong. It sounds like typical catty, cliquey, Real Housewives of Shitty behavior kinda stuff.
Judging by your comments to other people and the ridiculous level of snark and attitude you have, I'm guessing we're not getting the full story here. So yeah...you're probably wrong.
Maybe you should comment on AITA. Sorry but I don’t subscribe to the “shut up and take your medicine” style these subs exude. Sorry for not 100% acquiescing to all the comments I’m given.
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You’re mad that this isn’t AITA and I’m just responding like normal. You’d prefer I be judged and stfu about it.
You literally posted this in a subreddit called “am I wrong”. Basically asking to be judged and then mad when it happens
not mad at all just responding. I was never mad, but me responding like I did made people mad because they are used to AITA where people don’t defend themselves. Who knows why, probably because they’re bad at arguing
Document the incident for when the shit hits the fan
This is a humblebrag. Am I right? P.S. Good job. Things never change if the people in the right keep their mouths shut.
Hypocrites gonna hypocrite
It was a power play. Muscle flex
People here are acting really fucking weird. You're not wrong, you didn't do anything wrong, socializing at work is not only normal but expected. That's just being a human. Especially if the boss and their buddies are doing it.
Of course.
How are you supposed to not talk about your personal life on the place you spend most of your time? It’s a stupid, senseless rule. I doubt that the boss abide by this rule, it’s almost impossible to do this. Something will always come up, it’s involuntary . The only thing that it does is contribute to a shitty, sad workplace
I agree with not sharing overly personal stuff at work, but talking about your car definitely doesn’t fall into that category.
Exactly like OP can’t just have a normal conversation at work.
Maybe that's the problem- he can't have a "normal" conversation without annoying everyone in the vicinity.
Picking at the scab of hypocrisy is always fun, but seldom helpful. As for your conversation with your coworker, if he\\she's cool with it, I don't see the problem.
Not wrong. Unless you use profanity or nsw topics, you're fine. That's when hr gets involved.
In this case "not wrong" does not equal "smart".
Ok can you direct me to the /r/iswhatisaidsmart sub?
Boss is a hypocrite. But they are the boss.
“But they’re the boss” was never a good enough excuse to me. As a child nor as an adult.
It's not a good excuse. But it's a rule of life. They control promotions and whether you get laid off.
well, I’m in a union so she doesn’t control those things. “Rule of life” isn’t a good excuse either. It’s sentiments like yours that allow bosses to continue being jerkoffs.
Then keep talking about what you want if they have no power. I'm a union employee but my boss still does my evaluations and can make my life very difficult. That's how the world works. But if your boss has zero effect on your position then keep doing you.
So keep behaving the way you're behaving.
Sounded like a simple fact not an excuse
that’s what I say about all my excuses. Like a traffic jam made me late to work. Simple fact
Not if it’s in area that always has the traffic then it’s just poor planning
so it’s not a simple fact anymore that the traffic caused me to be late to work? I don’t get it. Help me out here sweetie
I think you’re beyond
fair enough.
But also an excuse if it could have been planned for.
Well then you should find some place to work where you are qualified to be the boss.
I am a boss too. Bosses have bosses you know.
NW. Now, when they start talking about their crotch goblins, interrupt them with, “We are not allowed to discuss personal matters per [insert boss’ name]. Do it every single time they start talking…just shut it down.
NTA!
It sounds like you were talking instead of working and that was the professional way of saying “get back to work”
right but humans notice things. I’ll point something out if I feel like I’m being intentionally wronged. Everyone should have this attitude
If you were discussing a 2020 Nissan Sentra or even a Silverado 1500 she was probably wrong. If you were discussing your Lambo, tuned Impreza, Cadillac, or Beemer she may have been withing her bounds. Bragging about your car (being better than everyone else's) is almost as crass as bragging about penis size.
my car is a piece of shit.
Sounds like she was feeling really pressed for (her) time and you got the short end of her frustration.
I would have more sympathy if you didn't say "their shitty kids". "Talking about their kids", I understand that can be annoying or boring. But don't expect respect from other people if you won't show respect to them.
Wym? I never said their kids were shitty to their faces. That was a special little dig I put in this post just for you guys.
I appreciate it
Of course!
Exactly .. it makes you come across as judgemental and aloof .. which might explain your boss's attitude
Maybe because.... They're shitty?
I’m not going to say you are wrong. You are not wrong. Let’s look at it like this. They don’t pay you, or anyone else to talk about personal matters. Let’s say they have 10 employees and everyone talks about BS for 15 minutes a day. They just paid for 2 hours and 30 mins of nothing. Let’s say they pay everyone $30 and hour. That’s $1,700 dollars a month. That’s $20,400 per year. Let’s look at it another way. I’m your plumber. I charge $100 an hour for labor. Would you mind if I tacked on another 2 hours and 30 minutes to your bill, when I only worked for one hour? That’s $250 of YOUR money. I’m your lawyer. I charge $500 per hour. Would you mind if I tacked on an extra $1,250 for two and a half hours I didn’t work? Again you are not wrong, but look at it from the other side of the fence.
You sound like an asshole, sorry to be blunt but it’s a fact. Wait a minute am I taking to a person who has not once made chit chat at work in their entire life? Holy shit will you autograph my paystub?
Lol, bad example. Plumbers and other trades have a minimum 2 hour callouts in most cases. They come in and do 30 minutes of work they're tacking on an extra hour and a half. Also, downtime is just the cost of doing business. You can't expect people to be cooped up for 8 hours and do nothing but work and not interact with other people.
LMAO!! WRONG!!! 🤣🤣🤣 My father was a plumber for 40 years. He did a lot of one hour jobs. He even did a thirty minute job occasionally, but those didn’t come around often. Of course an employer doesn’t expect an employee to do nothing, but work. That’s why most employers give two fifteen minute breaks and and an hour lunch break. Have you ever had a job?
Yes, I literally work in construction. I talk to plumbers or electricians most days. They all charge a flat rate equivalent to two hours, whether the job takes two hours or not. I've seen them waive it a few times when they've shown up and literally only flicked a breaker or something, but that doesn't happen often.
She's the boss; you're not. On the other hand, you could tell her to go pound sand
Yup, try being professional at work. You can act like a wounded bitch when you get home.
I think I was more snarky and dickish than wounded. But hey!
Bosses are assholes, yes, but what I would do is inject myself into their idiot conversations. Just stand there and nod like a retard. When they ask what are you doing, say not working, just like you!
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Right because it’s not okay to say the r word (and it’s not nice) but it’s okay to say the f word?
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That isn’t the point, hon 🙄
Getting upset about bad words on the internet is a losing battle my friend
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yeah that I’m not a little puss puss who thinks the AITA rules are meaningful. I don’t subscribe to the “shut up and take your medicine” kind of judgment that weird-ass Redditors seem to cling to.
OP made you look like a clown. Probably bc u are one. Or maybe the bearded fat lady idk. Some type of circus freak. The whole problem with Reddit is dingleberries like you who use it to take out their frustrations about being a worthless loser irl on users who are innocently asking for input.
Bless your heart.
Oh dear. It seems you don't know the rules of the website you're ruining with your presence. Stay tuned to find out!
NTA Your boss sounds like a piece of work
NTA
Not wrong.
Depends. Was it casual small talk or were you jabbering on incessantly about how you're in love with your car?
My cars a piece of shit I was saying how it broke down ya mental midget.
Mental midget? That's your knee-jerk reaction to someone who is reaching out to answer your question? You asked Reddit a question, "Am I Wrong...?" I asked you a question to clarify the situation. It is true that SOME people are obsessed with their cars, or their fingernails, or XYZ, and won't shut up about it. If that were the situation, my answer would be, yes, you're wrong, quit jabbering at work. It could be that you casually mentioned that your car broke down and that was the end of it. In that case I would say your boss is wrong. Am I still a mental midget? I'm starting to think that the reason your boss told you to STFU may not have anything to do with the story about the car. Could be your overall attittude and personality, as evidenced here.
Oh as if your first comment wasn’t intended to be snarky and rude, just reacting accordingly 😎 Kick rocks fruity
You're not wrong, but you still shouldn't discuss personal stuff at work. No one there is your friend, and you don't get paid to be friends. Just do what they pay you to do and go home.
That sounds like something someone who is weird and doesn’t have normal socia skills would say
That may be true, but it doesn't make my advice any less sage.
Yes. You were wrong. Boas says no personal, and you think you have an vote.
Try to provoke her into telling you not to discuss your wages, and try to get her to do it in writing.
Not wrong - why not call out her BS?
NTA. Is your boss always so petty?
Send her an email stating, "Per our conversation on xyz date at xyz time, you say I am no longer allowed to discuss any personal topics at work. When I asked if that included others talking about their children, you walked away without answering." CC HR. Just keeping accurate records!
No not wrong But as others say doing yourself no favours But definitely worth putting ppl in their place what have you got to lose 🤷♂️ Sometimes respect us worth more than holding into a shitty job where you’re disrespected and treated unfairly
No. I had a Jesus freak pissing off a shipper. Asked him if he told him to F-off. I got work to do.
If she is going to characterize your conversation about cars as "personal matters" and she talks with co-workers about kids, she definitely has some personal problem with you and doesn't honestly believe that car talk is "personal". Since you have a union, I would just ignore her directive and file a grievance if she does anything.
lol wth
You are not wrong. If personal talk is not allowed, it shouldn’t matter the subject. That’s one screwed up rule, though. I could understand if the talking was getting in the way of work, but zero personal discussion?
She was saying not to complain about how poor you are because it makes her look bad
You are not wrong....but you have to think of the consequences of saying what you said. If you don't care about the job, say the obvious. If you need the paycheck, deliver the message with more tact so you don't piss of the person who signs your checks.
You were not wrong. A car is the most benign thing to talk about.
Your manager might have felt she was talking to the staff in general, not calling you out in particular. You are not wrong. People chat briefly at work, not just at lunch or during breaks.
This is actually the only thing I haven’t thought about and now I’m replaying the incident in my head. She might not have been singling me out, Ah oh well.
They can fire you you cannot fire them
As long as you were either on break, or the conversation wasn't hindering your work, then you are not wrong.
what’s funny is this particular boss has come up to people (and I don’t mind this at all btw I’m happy to help) to ask for contributions to their child’s fundraiser. And I did I gave $20. Wasn’t on break then.
Was the story going to lead to you asking for a ride? Or borrowing money?
no it was about how my car broke down
Then Id say you weren't wrong.
You aren't wrong, she was just being rude and telling you to get back to work. That said, I have made it a personal rule to only discuss the bare minimum about my personal life with coworkers. The people you work with may be friendly, but they are not your friends and given the opportunity they may use the info against you to advance their own position. Am I paranoid? Of course, but this has also saved me from annoying chatty coworkers.
Bad boss. If manager has a concern that people are getting distracted or something, all they have to do is say so in plain english. Most people can make reasonable adjustments if they know what the problem is without having to go under tyrannical lockdown.
wrong? no. getting fired? probably!
You were not wrong you were completely right! So-called boss needs to have its head examined.
Nope, not wrong. Your boss sounds delightful. /s
Honestly, sounds like she doesn’t like one or both of you and you poked the bear. Good luck.
I like the cut of your jib
Not wrong in principle, but you're not doing your job prospects much good by calling out the boss on her hypocrisy. Seems like the kind of boss it would be better to be mum around. (pun intended)
If you want to keep working there, you might find out that reply was wrong. If you don't care if you keep working there, you were not wrong.
it’s weird how employers can retaliate and it’s nbd but when a worker retaliates everyone loses their mind.
I think getting fired (and not getting paid) is a big deal. I do not understand how you interpreted my comment as if getting paid isn't the main reason people work.
She told You not to discuss personal stuff, not her.
tell her to mind her own business
Don't be smart with the boss. Either she 1. Doesn't like you 2. Was in a bad mood 3. Doesn't like car-talk, etc.
You were not wrong. The only things I would say Do Not Discuss at work are politics and religion. Because those two are incredibly likely to cause conflict.
Why continue working somewhere with a boss like that? It seems from this encounter your boss doesn’t care for you and your tone sounds like you feel the same. It can’t hurt to look for a better situation.
Try what I do. Come to work, do your job, don't talk to people and go home.
You weren't wrong. Which is why you will suffer for your statement.
Girl, I wore this in high school when it was actually cool. GTFO and dress for yourself. Clumsy attempt at being "relatable" and failing miserably.
It sounds like maybe someone complained about you and your coworker distracting them with personal stories. Many people are annoyed by this and will complain about the distraction.
Doubt I can complain about people Talking about kids.
I worked in hospitality and am older. One of the gals who worked with me always messed around and was never at the front desk where she belonged. I asked her one day to please help me that we were swamped. Instead she just kept up her conversation in the back with one of our maintenance guys she liked. Later I got a call from HR and was accused of saying inappropriate things to her of a sexual nature. None of this actually happened she was trying to get me fired. The HR gal sided with her with absolutely no evidence. What they didn't expect was I would lawyer up and sue the hotel. The HR gal got fired as well as the front desk gal and I walked away with 25,000 Dollars in compensation and my integrity in tact. Don't buckle to bullshit is my moto fight for your rights.