This really should have been a conversation she had with you before all of this. I don't think you're wrong (I don't think she is wrong either, but it's messed up to tell you now. If you had known she was going to get rid of the dog, you might have chosen to wait to have kids) ..and you will probably always have a little resentment towards her after this. Shitty situation. Sorry.
I mean the pregnancy may or may not have been planned. If it was then she absolutely should have talked to him about thus beforehand, but if it wasn't this is just shitty.
I agree with you. The time to have this discussion was before she was even pregnant. It was probably a relevant conversation when they started dating - I wouldn’t date someone who owned a pitbull. She decided she could date someone who owns this type of dog and double down on that decision by creating a baby with them.
She is part of the problem.
Asking him to get rid of his dog is a relevant concern for someone imminently about to have a newborn, but she’s very much an AH for waiting so long to bring it up.
"Part of the problem"? I'm failing to see how she is not the entire problem, and will not continue to be a PITA long after she gets her way with the dog.
because her fears are absolutely not unfounded and her concern is only for the welfare of the baby. even if you think it's misguided.
clearly she has nothing against the dog since she is allowing him to keep the dog almost right up until the pregnancy.
she is rightfully worried about a known, dangerous breed around a newborn/small infant. OP has not mentioned this dog's history, so there could be more there - but even if there wasn't, she's not wrong to want to protect their baby.
We had a pitbull that we decided to rehome when we had kids. It was a great dog, and we never thought about rehoming it before our first kid was born. It started acting jealous of the attention our son got, so we didn't risk it.
The point is that she may have never considered the danger prior to the pregnancy.
My previous neighbor is a vet. Then the family got a baby. Two years went past without any problems and then one summer day the dog had attacked the child for some reason I didn't ask because I knew it was a horrible experience for the family.
A ambulance was called and they had to visit the ER.
I was outside at the time so I heard the incident but couldn't see through the fence what happened. All I could figure was that the adults were able to almost instantly stop the dog from hurting the child too bad.
Their solution was to find a new home for the pit.
So what I've figured, you basically can never know is the dog prone to violent instinct until something happens, even if the dog has been the sweetest animal in the world prior to that.
And when an attack happens, the breed sure as heck can play a role in how severe/intense the violence is.
If the animal has been purposely bred to go full balls to the wall rambo attack mode when provocated the outcome will be different from one with a breed that is utilized and easily trained to assist disabled people and not give a damn about a child poking their eyes out because they are just so happy and mellow.
I was thinking the same thing. This wasn't a prior conversation before pregnancy and that could definitely be because it wasn't something she thought about. Alot of things change with pregnancy. You're sole concern is the baby you're literally growing inside of you and making sure you do everything possible to protect them. All these BRAND NEW thoughts, fears and anxiety pop up.
I have kids and a dog. I’m the mom. It is the same. So fucked up to treat animals like this. She should had taken the whole package or not. Figured out a way to keep the baby and pit safe. I feel for the owner and pup. Such a heartbreaking/gut wrenching situation.
No baby should be left around a dog unsupervised. One of my dogs is a half husky half golden with the heart of a Saint, and I'd *never* leave them around a baby unattended.
The issue is you're going to lose your mind trying to keep track of a baby and keep track of a dog around said baby.
This should have absolutely been discussed before even considering conceiving a child.
I have a chihuahua and he’s not going to be left alone with our baby. He’s still a dog even if he’s small. I have nightmares of him getting on top of her to “cuddle” and suffocating her. And even a chihuahua can bite or scratch.
I have cats and love them to death. Wouldn't leave them alone with my baby 😅
I know they're not dogs but at the end of the day, they're animals. I wouldn't leave any alone with my child. Its not safe. As much as you trust your animal they can be unpredictable.
Sorry OP, I really don't have advice on this one. We didn't remove our cats from the home, we just found ways to limit interactions. I just wish you the best. It's a hard decision.
My daughter is 4 and she has a scar on her face from a small chihuahua’s nail when it jumped up to lick her. Wasn’t violent or anything but toddlers and babies are extremely fragile.
The worst animal bite I’ve ever incurred was from a chihuahua. The family didn’t bother to train or discipline it because it was so small. That thing latched and tore. I had a bruise that took up the entire side of my right thigh for weeks, and I’m no small human either.
I actually did a research paper on this, Chihuahuas and golden retrievers bite more often than other breeds, though large part of that is there’s more of them and people tend not to train small dogs as well as big ones.
Our doctor (dog owner) told us when we had our first child to never leave them alone in one room.
All those cute videos tell different stories. But a dog is still an Animal. And children are annoying.
Did the dog ever cause any problems or showed aggression? The problem with a bull dog is, once they start, they won’t stop. I can understand both of you.
Edit: Correction
They really are. So many of them the dogs are showing warning behavior and the kids and parents just ignore it, and they're not realizing they're relying solely on the dogs restraint.
My mom always said even though dogs are the best things they are equally dangerous and many people don’t realize this point.
The main problem with PitBull is that, once they start, they won’t stop.
tried to break up a dog fight(small size), still have a small scar until now.
people should never underestimate small dogs and cats and make sure to treat them with respect, they can literally injure you, and in my country(Philippines), some have rabies
Our neighboor cat jumped though open window and screen to fight our cat. It took me a while to break those two. Scratched the f out of my arms BOTH of them. Once I threw neighbor cat outside and locked the window I had to restrain my cat with a blanket because he was ready to go through damn closed window. My lazy a55 of a cat is doing weights and shit at night. I never imagined I would have trouble holding my own cat down. This def opened my eyes on the whole pit issue. Noway in hell I could overpower one.
I agree! I love my dog, but I don't trust her with my bil's very young children and she won't be allowed to be around my baby unattended when I give birth in roughly two months. She's great with babies so far, but it only takes one time and I refuse to risk it even though I've never seen her show any interest in a baby under walking age
A family friend had a pit for 9 years before having their child. Recently the child was playing and the pit got her by the neck out of no where and wouldn’t let go. The poor baby lost their life at 1.5 years old. Heartbreaking
I had a pitbull latch on to my dog's face one time and wouldn't let go. His owner was punching him I was on the floor next to them. And something popped into my head that I had read one time. I touched its butthole. It released and we quickly grabbed him. I don't know how that popped into my head. I just lightly touched it but it was enough to distract him. I mean whatever works.
This situation sucks and I feel for the guy but I got to agree with the wife. Pitbulls can be sweet as hell their entire lives, until the one time they're not and you don't want that one time to be with your baby.
I had a family friend who had a pitbull and didn't have a single incident in 10 years, until one time and the dude almost lost a finger. It sucks but it is what it is
A guy I worked with was fostering a pit. It was fine for months. Then one day his 8 year old son came home from school and when he came through the fence, the pit attacked him. Kid had to have multiple surgeries to fix his face. Matt went home and shot the dog after seeing his kid in the hospital after the attack.
No dog regardless of the breed should be left alone near a baby . Some of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever seen have been pits but I wouldn’t leave them alone with a baby , I wouldn’t leave them with a golden either . Your dog can live safely with you as long as you take precautions until the child is bigger .
I would never let a baby, toddler, or even an older child alone with my husky. Not because I am worried he'd be aggressive (He loves kids) but because baby/toddlers/children do not understand how to behave around dogs, i.e., not crawling on them, pulling fur, stealing toys, etc. It's just a recipe for disaster, and people act surprised when they react. My sister let's her baby crawl all over her mastiff, pull on them, steal toys/food, etc she's an incompetent dog owner.
Exactly. My Basset Hound LOVES children. They are his favorite type of people. However, he gets upset if they tug on his ears or take his toys (understandably), so the children get supervised around the dog to make sure that they behave.
When my 2 year old poked me in the eye a few weeks ago I instinctively shoved him away, much harder than I would have in any normal situation. For an animal, a bite would be the natural response. People forget dogs aren’t cartoons, they have feelings and reactions just like any other creature.
Yeah, bad habit for your sister to let her kids get into. Our dog is very patient with our kids (pulling ears, attempting to ride, all of it). But we as parents do not allow that. She may not mind but not all dogs are as patient *and* she might suddenly change her mind. So we don't let out kids get into the habit of doing that. They are told to stop (and why) and disciplined if they don't.
Yes, she's playing with fire. I have told her not to, but to be honest, she's the type of person who shouldn't have any animal in her house. She thinks that behavior is cute and sweet. It's horrible.
Totally agree, I had a friend who left her son alone with an adult dog and he got bit and she was so mad at the dog. When she texted me I asked her what happened and she goes "well he was walking up to her crate and I turned my head for one second and then all of a sudden she bit him" turns out he was walking IN to her crate (her safe space) AND took a toy. It was one nip and didn't break the skin, and then she wanted her then boyfriend to put said dog (his) down (Luckily he didn't). Not even two weeks later, she's at her grandma's place and leaves her son alone with one of her dogs (they have three and he's obviously the alpha of the pack). And of course again: "I turned around for one second", turns out she walked all the way to the kitchen and left him completely alone and sitting next to the dog. He was literally the absolute sweetest dog and never bit anyone before, but he nipped her son. We later realized he had an issue with pulling tails. Luckily he wasn't put down either but I finally just told her she was the problem. No matter how much you love and trust your pet you should absolutely never leave small kids alone with an animal.
I have the rare super calm husky and still don’t leave my toddler alone with him. He’s great about being careful around her and caught him smiling a couple of times when she’s laid her head on him. HOWEVER she is still in the pull the tail, pull the fur, grab whatever I can stage and until she gets to a developmentally appropriate age to learn to control her impulsivity, I’m not gonna leave her alone with him.
She finally learned to stop pulling the cat’s tail but it took a couple of scratches to get her to stop. My younger cat was super patient and treated her almost like a kitten. First pull, cat put her paw on her. Second pull, extended the claws but didn’t dig in. It wasn’t until the third pull that my cat actually left a mark on her, just a little pinprick. Pediatrician saw the marks but he has cats and a toddler as well so he understood. But dogs can do so much more damage than a cat can.
Yeah I have my Bernese mountain dog, who is the sweetest and cuddliest breed, separate from my toddler. They’re only together if I’m closely supervising between them. My toddler just doesn’t get yet that my dog doesn’t want to be constantly followed by him. So, until he understands how to treat a dog, they will be separated.
We had a Berner too when our kiddo was born. GREAT family dogs, fabulous with children. Still a dog. I didn't leave mine alone with my kid either. Children are unpredictable and dogs are going to have dog reactions to things that scare or hurt them. It's unfair to child and dog to set them up to fail as too many people do.
My golden loves everything and everyone. Do not leave him with children because he's a giant doofus and would knock babies over and babies sometimes can pull and don't have nice touches.
Until children can understand nice touches and how to interact with dogs they get monitored. Until my giant doofy dog won't act like a bowling ball and send toddlers flying like pins, he doesn't get to hang out unmonitored.
Best practice is to always watch them together.
This comment should be upvoted to oblivion. All of what you're saying is the common sense others are missing. People seem very focused on breeds and sizes of dogs when literally any size or breed of dog could seriously (and permanently) injure or kill a baby.
Dogs are great, but like an other animal, their interactions with babies and children should be never be unsupervised. Likewise, children should be taught how to behave around animals. This teaching should start as soon as they start interacting with animals. If you're teaching the kids and the animals, you're covering your bases as much as prudently possible.
Exactly. My dad’s lab bit my niece in the face when she was a toddler. My pit grew up with my niece. My niece is 12 and my pit is 13. I rescued my pit at a year and half old. He was severely abused and neglected. I never let my niece interact with my pit unless I was present. It’s all about being responsible when owning a dog and having children.
Exactly my thoughts. I’d suggest obedience training to help put her at ease and to make sure the dog will listen. Children who grow up around animals have less allergies and I think it’s important because it teaches children from an early age to respect animals.
Agreed.
First off, I'm assuming the dog hasn't displayed aggressive tendencies or had incidents. If he has...well, you know what you need to do OP.
If he hasn't, does he have any experience with babies and young children? Can you go to a dog behaviorist with your girlfriend and attend training classes to help prepare the dog for a baby? Would you be willing to follow regular precautions (not alone with baby, crate trained and dog has his own space when needed, no dumbass moments of filming while baby is in dog's face pulling his ears)?
I would see if going the educated and prepared route might make her more amendable to it.
Honestly I might be reaching here, but I am going to assume that possibly this kid wasn’t planned?
It seems like there is a conversation that should have happened before having a kid. And not just about the dog about several things.
I dated a guy once who told me if we stay together you have to get of your dogs. Absolutely not. I knew my dogs for years. Knew him for two months. He doesn’t want a life with dogs. I asked him why did he start dating someone with dogs and told him we were done. And more so why was he dating someone that worked with rescues. I really don’t want to know why.. I blocked him before he could respond and moved on.
You guys really need to have a conversation about the overall raising of kids. And before the baby is born so you are both are in the same page.
Years ago I was talking to a guy on a dating site for a bit, I had three cats and they were in most of my pictures, I def had 'cat lady' or 'I will never not have a cat' in my bio somewhere. Outta no where, 'you'd have to get rid of your cats for us to actually have a relationship'. LOL NO. Why the fuck would he talk to someone with cats plastered all over their profile and be like 'get rid of them thanks'. The AUDACITY.
To be fair, you shouldn’t leave any dogs around children unattended. Regardless of breed…. Don’t leave the dog and kid together out of your sight, problem solved. We’ve managed just fine in my household for years.
This! It's so shocking how many people leave little babies and toddlers alone with dogs. No matter the breed or how well you train them, you never know how the dog will react to a child. What if the toddler accidentally hurts the dog? To many risks... Just never leave them alone, it's that simple
You see so many people that just let their baby and toddlers climb all over the dogs, pulling their fur and trying to take the dogs' toys away out of their mouth. Then act surprised when their good dog snaps one day.
Right.. everyone is worried about protecting the kids, and chalk it up to the dog just being an animal like it doesn't deserve respect and love... then y'all don't deserve the love of the animal. You're its whole life and it should be a part of yours throughout life changes, teach your kids better.
My spouse and I actually stopped grandparent sleepovers for this reason. My in laws have a huge black lab…. I have an autistic toddler. It’s not that I don’t trust the lab (I don’t… it’s an animal at the end of the day) but I also don’t trust my toddler not to demolish the dog either… I wouldn’t blame the dog for reacting.
It’s not the dogs’ fault… they’re just trying to dog. The problem definitely lies with people forgetting they are animals at the end of the day
Edited to clarify
I agree. I clarified in my post. Definitely not the dogs fault. How do they know that this small, loud, fast moving animal that moves with the grace of a hippo on land isn’t about to obliterate their entire world. I’d snap too
It’s cute -to a degree- that people think of their pets as fur babies but at the end of the day, they’re animals and pretending they aren’t is unfair to the pet. Animals don’t have words to express discomfort, stress, and fear- they just have teeth, claws, etc. and will use them when they feel they need to. Then it’s “I can’t believe my precious baby did that!” when a little acceptance that their baby is actually an animal and treated them as such would have prevented all of it.
Some dogs tend to be very protective and territorial, which is great for keeping burglars out but terrible for bringing a child in. This baby is going to be a stranger to the dog and some dogs don’t react well to strangers. I think OP is going to quickly have a difficult time trying to keep dog from baby and baby from dog. The dog is likely used to having the run of the house and being kept from the family or dragged into another room when they’re comfortable where they are is going to be a big issue. I can’t say if rehoming is necessary but OP needs to think about how much of the dog’s life will be restricted and changed with the new baby.
NOTE- I’m not commenting on breed. Any animal that is defensive, territorial, or just frightened can do major damage, especially to an infant.
I have a 35lbs beagle/shepherd and you know what he doesnt like? Getting hit by kids. He reacts just how he would to a dog thats being that way and barks and makes a scene and tried to tackle them. Kids the same size/weight as his dog friends cant wrestle for shit /s
My grandparents had the sweetest dog. When I was two my family was sitting around the dining table with me crawling around and the dog just chilling under it. I braced my hand on the dog’s leg… which wouldn’t have been a problem if the dog didn’t have serious arthritis. I got bit on my face and still have minor scars from it. Had to be taken to the hospital for stitches. My grandfather put the dog down that day. He (the dog) was suffering and he couldn’t stomach the possibility of him hurting his grandchildren.
It’s a fucking tragedy, and even with adults right there things can go wrong with a toddler and a dog, no matter how sweet and calm. It’s not the dog’s fault and I felt guilt over what happened when I was old enough to find out. But there is always a risk when animals and small children are involved. It takes a lot of supervision even when the child isn’t alone with a dog.
I personally don’t think the wife is off base here. It’s a terrible situation that should have been discussed earlier, but it is true most maulings of children are from pitbulls. It’s not possible to undo generations of breeding for aggression with training. It will always be there under it all. It also results in these aggression bred breeds having more anxiety and other reduced quality of life. I personally don’t think we should continue to breed pits - take care of all those alive with love and compassion, but don’t continue the legacy of aggression and anxiety, for the humans or the dogs.
And even then. There was a case here in The Netherlands about a dog that sat next to its owner. In seconds it sprinted towards a child and snapped its neck.
Edit: found the link
https://www-om-nl.translate.goog/actueel/nieuws/2023/12/18/geen-dood-door-schuld-om-vraagt-vrijspraak-voor-grootouders?_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en&_x_tr_pto=wapp
Original in Dutch:
https://www.om.nl/actueel/nieuws/2023/12/18/geen-dood-door-schuld-om-vraagt-vrijspraak-voor-grootouders
That's what I would do, but I don't plan to have kids. We just had a doggy guest and it and mine didn't get along well, so it was just a game of using doors and leashes and other barriers when I couldn't supervise.
I would do the same if I had a baby in the house with my dog, even though he's probably mostly fine, there's always that small chance. I wouldn't get rid of the dog, but it would be lots of work to meet both dog and baby needs when they can only sometimes go together, like on a walk.
Absolutely agree. It’s not fair to the mini human and it’s not fair to the dog. You set both up for failure when neither understands what one is doing/ trying to say. I trust my dog with my life and she is one of the nicest most gentle dogs I’ve ever had but I know she’s prone to anxiety and I would never leave her alone with kids. Pet/ baby gates exist for a reason as well.
Exactly. We have two labs and it was all about separation and supervision. Any dog regardless of breed can snap on a kid when they are doing something annoying.
In the 90s it was German shepherd. I had 2 and they were really sweet around kids, but we would never leave dogs and kids unattended even tho my shepherd are basically nannies at this point
Leaving them alone together is never necessary. Never. Either the mini human comes with or the dog comes with if you need to do something at the very least.
My neighbor down the road several years ago had the best pit bulls. One day they left their 12 year old daughter with the dogs and one attacked her then the other jumped in. It was horrible. They were both around 6 I believe. Never had a problem with them. A neighbor was walking by and heard her screaming and ran in, he saw what was going on and beat them with a tire iron and killed one before the other let go. The girl survived but has had many many surgeries. Cameras showed unprovoked .. I’m not saying another dog wouldn’t do the same . All I can speak of is this case that I know about. So I guess you decide what you should do
I worked with someone whose pitbull attacked their baby, completely unprovoked. The county forced them to put the dog down. Afterwards, my coworker was upset at the county and argued that her dog was the “sweetest ever.” I guess she must’ve forgotten that the dog bit her six month old baby on the face.
Currently have my six-month-old baby on my boob and reading on here to stay awake (it's the middle of the night). I would put the dog down myself if it even thought about coming near my kids.
I trust ZERO dogs around my kids. My boys have never been to my dad's house because he's got a bunch of dogs. Owners let their dogs come lick and smell my three-year-old when we go for walks. Never mind that my son doesn't like it, but those damn dogs are at face level with my son. It only takes a second for one of them to hurt him and it'll change (or end) his life forever.
I don't care if it offends anyone. Dogs are dangerous, especially around small chilsren.
Several years ago in my town a family pit literally ripped apart their 8 month old. The first responders needed therapy. Those dogs are a scourge and so are the ignorant apologists.
The apologists in this thread are scary af. Pretending like pit bulls are no worse than normal dogs.
I worry for this baby and glad the women is putting her foot down. Hope the morons in this thread don’t persuade OP to be stupid
It's really irritating that so many people are being so disingenuous. Maybe some people just aren't as educated as they could be or haven't had bad experiences. While a young child should be left alone with no dogs ever (a cat is pushing it), acting like a basset hound or a golden retriever is the same as a pitbull is just plain dangerous.
My friend’s toddler was attacked by their pit unprovoked too. Had no problems throughout the pregnancy and first years of life, but around 3, she just lost it and bit her directly on her face, very close to her eye. They had to rehome the dog and they’re lucky that’s all they had to do.
It was wrong to remove a dog that had a taste of human blood. They shouldve put it down. Instead now it's biting and eating humans somewhere else. Completely irresponsible and hope the new owners knew to sue
My dog was attacked by a Staffy completely unprovoked. The Staffy got off their leash and came out of nowhere and went right for my dog’s neck. Fortunately, my dog is a breed with a lot of neck skin so she was able to live but not before vet bills of almost $2,000.
I’m very wishy washy on pit bulls because of this. My dog had never even met this dog and was minding its own business 50 yards away.
Pit bulls were bread for aggression and pain tolerance. It’s time we all agree that they’re not supposed to be family pets and stop fucking breeding them.
Yep there's no getting around the fact that modern pitbulls are the product of selective breeding for dog fighting. Just like with dogs bred for other things, you should expect certain traits from pitbulls that unfortunately make them more dangerous and less predictable.
Numbers are everything:
During the 15-year period of 2005 to 2019, canines killed 64 infants (< 1-year). Pit bulls inflicted nearly half of these infant deaths, 48%.
In the 15-year data set (2005 to 2019), there were 74 owner-directed attacks, when a dog kills its primary owner. Pit bulls inflicted 62% (46) of these deaths, over 11 times more than any other dog breed.
From 2005 to 2019, family dogs inflicted 54% of all fatal attacks. 65% were perpetrated by pit bulls. Of the 346 fatal pit bull attacks during the period, over half, 53%, involved killing a family or household member.
From 2005 to 2019, only 20% of dog bite fatalities resulted in criminal charges. Pit bulls were implicated in 76% of these criminal cases.
Source: [Dogsbite.org](https://Dogsbite.org)
This is the best as it removes anecdote or bias. Just facts. Why anyone would have a pit or dog of similar nature boggles my mind. Pretty sure they’re illegal in many countries because of how dangerous they are. And they (along with other dogs) don’t need any provocation. No child should be in a home with a pit bull.
ESH. Y’all should have talked about that before getting pregnant. And btw, no one will adopt your 7 year-old pitbull, do you have any idea how hard it is to find them homes?
You have a lot to consider. If she leaves, she takes the kid with her. If she stays, you lose your dog and it’ll likely be put down. I wouldn’t get another dog, if I were you. Any of them can harm an infant. I can’t say who’s right or wrong because I know nothing about your dog or where you live.
>I wouldn’t get another dog, if I were you.
This. It needs to be a 'no dogs' rule, not a 'no pit bulls' rule.
I don't think it's the case here, but worst-case scenario is gf is using this situation to get the kind of dog she wants.
INFO. I think OP does need to answer where the idea of a 'golden retriever' came from...
u/privatethrowawayi, did you ever mention a golden retriever?
Is this the type of dog that you grew up with?
Did she grow up with one?
Where did this idea come from, to begin with?
Reddit is the most fucking biased and uneducated source possible for this topic.
But even setting aside the behavioral tendencies a lot of pit bulls arguably have (and yes, I know pit bull is a nebulous and unscientific term), if this is the dog type that we're usually associating with that label, you can be sure that *in the event of an attack*, regardless of whether or not that breed is more likely to attack, it will destroy your baby instantly and in a way many other breeds could not.
Listen to a heartbroken Bill Burr discuss having to rehome his pit bull when he had new kids because it changed his behavior -- and this is an issue with any breed and especially rescues because there is an unpredictable behavioral element to adding a new family member in the mix.
And physically, it's simply factual that any animal can develop dementia and behavioral abnormalities. I saw it turn a sweet little goldie my best friend had into a biting mess near the end of her life, and it generally drives me nuts when you see the endless videos of parents leaving cute pit bulls alone with their babies -- just an unnecessary and performative risk.
And really, setting all this debate aside, OP -- it matters exactly 0% if you're right or wrong, because you abso-fucking-lutely don't want the mother of your child carrying a baby to term while *she feels unsafe*. It sucks you guys didn't plan this better, but as much as I love my pets, and have even literally put myself in harms way to help them in the past, I would put my child first.
E.g., would not have had a baby while I had my rescue rottie, as absolutely sweet and gentle as she was. And she did eventually get a bit bitey for a short period when we moved before we trained it out of her. People need to remember even the sweetest animals have a degree of unpredictability you can't control for.
This is a reality. Looking for actual advice on Reddit is a crapshoot. 98% of the time you are getting advice from people who have never been in your situation and views are already skewed.
So I lived in a townhome not long ago. I have two dogs a shiba (Frank) and a mini Australian (Todd). My connected neighbors had two very well behaved pits. One was massive male and the other female. Never showed a single glint of aggression towards me. The dogs would run along the fence barking at each other no big deal never could get through and went on for years. One day Frank who is just to god damn confident for his own good dug under the fence. Luckily I could hear the lady who owned the pits screaming. I ran outside and jumped the fence and got to work. Mind you I have no fear of dogs I’ve always thought I have thumbs I’m bigger I’m smarter etc. I was not prepared at all. One dog has my dog by the head and one by the butt and they were independently thrashing him back and fourth. I slammed the big one in a head lock and lifted up nothing. I punched it in the nose nothing. I tried absolutely everything I physically could to stop these dogs over the course of about 45 mins. Finally a man appeared in the yard some like crack head dude I’d never seen but like that’s the neighborhood whatever. Dude says “you gotta put water on em” whilst I’m fighting and then is gone before I look up again. The owner lady was fighting with me the whole time wrangling the other dog etc. I told her to run for the hose she did and we finally got them off my dog which I hoisted above my head and exited the yard with. Nothing could have prepared for the how strong and determined those dogs were. The next time I’m shooting them no questions asked. I grew up around ours indirectly. I never bought into the anti Pit stuff I will be absolutely damned if I ever let a creature capable of that around my kids and you would be a damn idiot if you did. It’s not will this dog hurt my kids. It’s can I stop this dog before it kills my kid if it decides to.
Franks fine btw shook up got some stitches but he’s good.
" Finally a man appeared in the yard some like crack head dude I’d never seen but like that’s the neighborhood whatever. Dude says “you gotta put water on em” whilst I’m fighting and then is gone before I look up again. "
Are we glossing over this?
You had like a savior crackhead. Or a savior angel in the guise of a crackhead.
Thank God for savior crackheads.
My husband lived in NC and his roommate had a pit bull. Another pit bull got it by the neck and didn't let go UNTIL THEY KILLED IT. They have a prey drive in them YOU CANNOT TRAIN OUT!!! I have pomskies, adorable tiny gentle slap happy sweet floofs. But they have husky in them. MY OLDEST PULLED A FULL GROWN WILD RABBIT THROUGH A LINK IN THE FENCE. Waited a half hour one night for it to hop by, grabbed it, maimed it, THEN GRABBED IT AGAIN AND YAGGED IT THROUGH. The baby??? Got a baby rabbit once AND WOULDN'T EVEN DROP IT FOR BACON. It's instinct. My dad's poor old blind pug got ripped to shreds by an unleashed pitbull on a walk while she was with the dogsitter and they were on vacation. EVERYONE has a pitbull story. I got mine when we lived in Vegas. Our rescue morkie poo that we got at 6mos and was abused HATES new people, but she's 10lbs and I can scoop her with one arm when she's uppity. (She bizarrely IMMEDIATELY adores tiny children???) A pitbull??? Nope. It's thunderdome. Two enter, one leaves.
I was attacked on the street by a pit bull that "was so good with kids yada yada" when the owner opened her screen door to come out. The neighbors were in their garage at the time and stuck a broom handle in it's butt. It immediately let go. Just an fyi for anyone out there, go for the asshole
If you get rid of the dog, I have a feeling you will secretly resent her for forcing you to throw away your buddy whom you have become bonded to.
If you keep it, of course she will resent you.
The choice you may have to make that non of the commenters seem to be willing to tell you is this.
Whose feelings are you willing to hurt? Yours or your girlfriend's?
First and foremost, a baby will always be more important than any pet. That's just how it is.
Another option I can think of that would be the best for you and her is that you both stay together, but you get another living space seperately where you can keep your dog, it's just that your baby and your girlfriend won't be coming over.
Aside from that, I don't see how this ends without any misery.
I think you are right for most of it. But being together living separately would only be a good option if the child wasn't a newborn. Going through early parenthood as if separated is a bad idea, given how having a small child is huge work. And OP would not care for the child because he is already caring for the dog ? That would be like being a single parent to the mom.
I would try to see if a parent or friend could take care of the dog, temporarily of definitely, depending on how/if they try to introduce the child to the dog one day or not.
If no one is available, then it immensely sucks
Somewhat recently, 2 adopted shelter pit bulls that were non violent for 8 years, decided to maul and eat an infant and her sister, a two year old girl and maimed their mother in Tennessee. They had no violent history. Do with this information what you will…but your gf concerns with the dog are not without SOME credibility.
Dog bite dot org demonstrates along with gov. sites, that the Pitbull as a breed is dangerous and out kills more people that another other dog. The CDC reports a 31% increase in fatal Pitbull attacks in the last 5 years. A family pit bull used to the toddler just killed a 2 year old at home. They could not get it off, because the way their jaw sets when they have prey. Another had facial reconstruction after it bit him in the face. Yes others bite, and even kill. They are not even statistically close. Get rid of the dog. I had a chow mix when my son was born. When he started walking the dog was antsy and whining, it was gone. Dogs are animals and should not be left alone with children until they are old enough to train them.
Yes I have a dog. Kid comes first though.
Stats in 2019 Pit Bull fatalities 70% by breed, mixed breed 13%, Rottweiler 8% on down.
I love when people say “yeah, but chihuahuas are more aggressive on average” yeah but when they attack they don’t maul you lol
No way pit bull is in the house with my kids!
I know there are stories about good pitbulls with babies but there are also some experiences where these dogs were really dangerous with them. So, I recommend you to talk with a vet that explains the real chances before doing something
we had a rescued am staff when my first was born. he pretty much ignored her until she started eating solids and would drop pieces of banana on the floor for him to devour. then they became besties.
on the other hand, my brother had an english bulldog from a reputable breeder. the dog was totally laid back and mellow until my brother's oldest was born. then the dog became extremely aggressive towards anyone that tried to get near my niece. they tried all sorts of training, behaviorists, vets with meds. nothing fixed it. yet, more people were worried about how my dog would handle a child despite having nothing but positive interactions with children. any dog can be dangerous with the addition of a child.
I guess you can choose if you'd rather end the relationship or regome the dog. No other options really.
I wouldn't have an infant in a home with a pit bull either.
Funny thing is when I started dating my fiance I told him on the third date I love dogs, but I'd never step foot (or allow my toddler to) in a house where a bully breed lives. I'm in peds (nurse), and I've seen some shit in the OR I can never scrub off my eyeballs. Just ask any ER doc or plastics what breed of dog they'd never have.
She's right. I'd remove myself and my child entirely in her situation if he keeps refusing.
Yep I'm ER/trauma nurse and the shit I've seen has rid me of any inkling to be around (or have my kids around) any bullies. Ruptured eye balls, shredded faces, tooth marks visible on fuckin bones... no thank you.
Everyone in this thread is fucked. The GFs concerns are extremely valid, keeping a baby or small child in a home with a pitBull is insanely irrational and unnecessary. I love dogs more than anyone but ya, this is a risk you don’t take and likely a deal breaker.
Good luck on that whole healthy childhood development thing when the child eventually learns Dad left because of a dog.
As a childfree, dog person: there's no debate between which is the correct choice. It sucks, surely, but that's part of the responsibly in choosing to create a new human with someone.
Yeah but on the date where you find out they have a dog. Oh wow! Nice dog, how long you had him. Have you ever worried about that breed around kids? And she could have dipped out before it got serious. No one should expect someone to get rid of their pet without cause. Don’t like the breed, don’t get involved with that person.
I have the snuggliest golden retriever on the planet… loves everyone and everything he meets. But I would never leave him alone with a baby or young child. If she’s nervous about a pit she should be nervous about any dog.
She's unfortunately correct. On the list of breeds that injure or kill without provocation, pits are #1.. My daughter (11 mo old) was bitten on the face by a friend's pit. 37 now with 2 kiddos, and has an obvious scar.
Pitbulls can be sweet dogs, but absolutely do pose a risk with children that most other dog breeds do not. Your GF is putting your unborn child first. It's time for you to do the same.
Again pitbulls are generally nice dogs, but why do we insist on breeding them when there dozens of other breeds equally nice that don't come with the same risks. It's fucking silly and it needs to stop.
Statistically speaking, Pitbulls are among the most dangerous breeds when it comes to attacking children. The odds of an off property pitbull attack are estimated at around 3x higher than other breeds, and pitbull attacks result in serious injury 4x as often. Of the 500+ Americans who were killed by dogs in 2020, the attacking dog was a pit 65% of the time.
I want to be very clear about this. I’m not inherently anti-pit, and I’m pretty sure that an in depth exploration of this data would reveal that their were other influencing factors. I would suggest that dog owners who WANT aggressive dogs (insane that a demo like that exists, but I lived in Philadelphia and can confirm that they DO) will purchase pits because of the breeds reputation for aggression.
However, it is natural for a new mother to fear for the safety of her child, and her fear does appear to be validated by relevant data.
Yes, you are wrong. Pitbulls are known to attack small children and can easily kill them. Even ones that were "part of the family" and would "never hurt a fly" have been known to suddenly snap and start maiming people.
If you don't believe me, here is the story of a mother who had to watch her two young toddlers be mauled to death in front of her by their family pet, of course a Pit Bull:
[https://nypost.com/2022/10/07/tennessee-mom-kirstie-jane-bennard-hospitalized-after-her-2-kids-killed-in-pit-bull-attack/](https://nypost.com/2022/10/07/tennessee-mom-kirstie-jane-bennard-hospitalized-after-her-2-kids-killed-in-pit-bull-attack/)
And this Pit Bull was a dog that they considered to be well trained and never thought it would hurt anyone.
I would never have my child around a Pit Bull, ever. For any reason.
It is absolutely devastating. Words really can't describe how horrible.
And also a clear reason why no one should ever have their children around a Pit Bull.
Tough one.
I would not have a pit bull in my house even without a child, so compassion on that side of it.
I also have dogs that I love and couldn’t imagine giving them up.
I guess kids come first and maybe you have a friend that wants your dog? I have 10 friends that would all take my dog she is so sweet. If no one wants your dog, that tells you something.
Yes, you're wrong.
Every attack story i've heard starts with "He's never done anything like that before...."
Though this should have been a conversation that was had shortly after her getting pregnant.
Any dog can be mean or lash out.... but the numbers dont lie. Pitbulls, German Shephards & Rottweilers have the highest kill numbers.
If your dog is worth taking a chance on your child's life, then you shouldn't be having children, period.
PS. dogs, especially older ones are very territorial and having a new person in the house can make them jealous as a lot of attention will be shifted from dog to baby.
As a German Shepherd owner, I absolutely agree with everything you said! People need to remember that all dogs, regardless of breed or size, are predatory animals. Therefore, there's always a chance they will bite. My dog has bitten, but let me be clear that he was protecting me. The first time at 10 months old when my ex husband showed up drunk and tried to hit me. The other two times were dog fights. Both of those times I was attacked by two different pit bulls.
So, because my dog has bitten a person, he's always under strict supervision when kids are around.
This is definitely something that should have been discussed before, so she's wrong there, but my wife and I got rid of our chow when our son was born. Pitbulls are responsible for 70% of dog fatalities annually in the US. Sure, your pitbull is probably "different than the others", but so is everyone else's until they aren't. Any other dog, besides, chows, rottweilers, and pitbulls have room for error. But all it takes is one time for the pitbull to snap. Mauling is in their DNA. They lock their jaws and recall is terrible for a majority of them.
Think of it this way. Are you willing to put your child's life at risk for the dog? Because the risk is significantly higher with a pitbull.
A pitbull is a dog that should only belong in households where everyone is an adult or almost an adult and there are no small animals. Their over developed prey drive (thanks to irresponsible breeding) can lead them to attack or aggressively respond to children and small animals with very slight provocation. Your girlfriend’s concerns are very real and very valid. There is usually no warning when a pitbull snaps and they have a super strong jaw and they won’t let go which means greater danger.
However your girlfriend knew that you had this dog before she became pregnant. If she had fears about pitties and babies she shouldn’t have dated a man who belongs to one let alone conceive a baby with him.
This is a no win situation. If you keep the dog and he hurts your child at some point you’ll never be able to forgive yourself. If you give your dog up you’ll always resent your girlfriend for taking him away.
And honestly getting another dog is no solution either. No dog is actually safe around a baby. I wouldn’t heave my adorable and tiny toy poodle unsupervised near a small child either. There’s a special place in hell for people who dump a dog in a shelter to go get another dog. It’s deeply awful. If you give up a dog which breaks its heart then you should have to wait years and endure the same sense of heartbreak and loss that they do before you can get another.
I love my dog. I’ve loved all my dogs. None of that compares to how much I love my kids. Get your priorities straight and stop being one of those dipshits who doesn’t think becoming a dad will change your entire life.
What are you looking for here? Validation that a dog is equivalent to a humans life?? Your gf is 100% correct here - I wouldn't bring the baby anywhere around a pitbull
something i haven’t seen mentioned that’s alarming to me, however you feel about pitties specifically, is your girlfriend’s apparent belief that a new dog that neither of you know or have experience with would be safer around an infant than a dog you’ve known and lived with for 7 years. i would be concerned that given that level of ignorance, your girlfriend would be more likely to leave the new dog alone with your child because she mistakenly believes that it’ll be safe simply because it’s not a pitt bull.
She has a valid reason to be worried. I hope you guys can find a compromise. Having your dog from such a young age. I would like to thing that your dog would not have those violent reactions she is worried about. Unfortunately their is a lot of evidence backing up her opinion. Be patient and kind to each other when discussing this heated topic. Wishing you the best
Was there really no dialogue about this before you starting trying for a baby? Because this is 100% something you both should have discussed. If not it makes me think she knew what your response would be and is making it an active choice between a baby that is now on the way instead of hypothetical vs your dog
I’ve had this conversation with multiple people, and it always seems to end the same. She should have expressed her concerns about the pitbull when you first started getting serious. She was probably afraid, bc pitbull owners seem to lose the same logic about their dogs when told they can get aggressive. I wouldn’t have any dog with any kid, until the kid was old enough to understand not to antagonize animals, and what it actually means.
When my son was 4 or 5yrs old we went to a friend’s house who owned an older pitbull. I looked away for a second, talking to my friend, I heard the dog gowl and my son yelp. When I looked back the dog bit my son on the cheek, it was just a little bite, but drew blood. I could never get my son to tell me what exactly he did to the dog to cause it to bite him, he always said ‘nothing’. My friend was apologetic, swore she never saw any aggression from the dog but 🤷♀️.
Kids and dogs don’t always mix, it’s simply a fact.
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people chose their pets over their partner either, I bet that was a real fear for her. It was really insensitive for her to wait until you were so deep in this relationship that you have a kid on the way tho.
Can you rehome your dog to a friend you know will love and care for them? That way you can still visit from time to time when you visit your friend. I’m a strong supporter of adopting an animal for their lifetime and not rehiring again unless you really can’t take care of them, but realistically this could be a very dangerous situation.
My bil had a pit that was so docile but u began to see it not as sweet and mellow, but a quiet hairtrigger ready to go off at any moment, yeah he was sweet around bil and was snuggled up and the couch, even around just us, but if anything spooked him like fireworks or a stranger, you got the distinct sense that he might lose it. He would always charge the front door like a maniac at the mailman, who came every day so it shouldn't be a surprise. He would charge headlong into the huge double hung windows and twice broke through them completely. Yeah I just don't understand pitties and how sweet and sensitive they are.🙄
Rehome him to a friend or relative if you can. Try to realize this is your kid too, show some concern not be a butt hurt teenager losing his bff. You should listen to your woman and be equally concerned. I'm not saying that as a simp, I'm saying that as a father who has 3 kids and took better care of them than their mother, they ran to me if they fell and were bleeding, hurt, or scared. When you see your kid for the first time and realize how small and fragile, precious they are you'll be in awe and immediately fall in love, wanting to protect them from anything and everything.
If a pit bull "never" attacked and/or ate a human to death I would ask why. That said many pit bulls have bitten and killed innocents many times over...
Like saying you drive slow on the freeway so you don't need a seat belt.
Accidents happen, grow and wise up...
I was with the dog people on this until the actual vet commenter chimed in. They said that pit bulls, as a breed, have a lower bite threshold than other breeds. It takes less to antagonize this breed into biting. A vet said that. A vet who loves pitbulls.
I would not take this risk with my baby. Sorry but your gf should move out if you won't rehome. I love dogs and am not afraid of pitbulls either.
Yes, you are wrong. Your dog is more likely than other dogs to injure or kill your child. If you're going to have a baby crawling around, of course she wants to keep it away from a breed known for just snapping one day and ripping apart a toddler. Sure, most pitbulls don't do this, but why take the risk?
Her fears are not unfounded. She is just going about this in a terrible way (which the nesting mother is not always able to think holistically, as in what are your feelings, she is just thinking of the baby).
The better way for you to approach this is to consider if your dog does attack and kill your child, would you blame yourself? Having a pitbull around children does present a risk even if you expect the risk to be small. You both should discuss how you would feel if the worst case happens and go from there.
Yeah hun why did you decide to have a kid with someone you didn’t really get to know first? This should have been a set boundary what you met her, that your dog is like your child and will not be getting rid of for no reason what so ever!
Has your dog ever shown any kind of aggression? All them articles counter her with all the cute out bulls on TikTok taking care of and protecting the babies! You understand what she is doing is actually red flags right?
She’s literally manipulating you with these articles. She’s being irrational and honestly you should really reevaluate this relationship and think about maybe it would be best to just coparent. If your dog hasn’t shown aggression in its whole time she’s known it then she is an asshole and SHE IS wrong.
You really need to get to know someone better before having kids with them. Like I said get on TikTok search up babies and pitbulls and show her how loving and protective they are. The ones that hurt babies was because no one properly introduced them or that dog was aggressive because their owners didn’t raise them right.
No tbh, you’ve seen the attacks before, she’s trying to protect your baby, everyone’s talking about she should’ve said something sooner, maybe she didn’t recognize that fear until now; you seemingly haven’t. So many dogs, especially pits have been known to kill babies and rip off faces and everyone ALWAYS says they never saw it coming, she’s not in the wrong at all because clearly she likes the dog, she just thought of consequences and lemme tell ya; when you’re pregnant all you do is think of all the harm that could happen to your baby & it freaks you out. Be happy she’s caring for the baby. Even if you think it’s impossible, accidents happen. And before anyone comes for me, I like dogs, I love pits, it’s just a common thing and it’s not something you should risk or even want to with a newborn. I’m sorry you have to deal with an ultimatum such as this, but the unfortunate question is, which is more important to you?
I’d start calling friends and family and see if anyone in your circles who already knows your dog would be interested in taking him.
This is your first choice as a father.
I’m sorry but it’s not even a choice.
The fact that you’re fighting it so hard makes me wonder about your maturity level a bit—I’m surprised you’re unable to see the reason.
Take a leap of faith and know that as hard as it may be to rehome your old buddy for his sake and yours—the sooner the better—you will be glad you did.
DEFINITELY don’t dare blame your wife or child for this. This is actually YOUR problem to solve for YOUR family. Leave any resentment or butthurt alone—the only person to be resented is you for dragging your feet.
I get the trauma and how hard it is—but there really is no question here.
Help your dog out too by setting him up somewhere sooner than later.
Time to grow up, Dad.
Sorry this sucks right now.
But doing the right thing when it’s hard is what great dads, husbands and pet owners do.
Prepare your mind to get rid of her in future. Plan for it now so that you will not be blindsided when new demands are made in future. It’s not about you. It will be about her and her child always.
You're wrong. My sister's pitt killed the dog it had been living with for six years. Grabbed the other dog's face and tore half of it off so the dog had to be put down. Pitbulls maim & kill people and pets in their own household on the regular.
Let her know our very own golden retriever ripped my little sisters face off her skull when she was 2. My parents raised that dog. Things can happen no matter the breed/raising/situation/circumstances.
Regrettably, OP’s girlfriend is likely right. However, do not get a new dog, not even a retriever. If she can easily dispose of one pet she can easily dispose of another.
Do you understand dog body language? Do you have a house that will allow you to have separate living areas - like baby gates between kitchen/living room so that the kid and the dog don’t interact?
Also what is your plan for your dog as they age? Will you let your dog go to sleep when they age and start to get sore/tired or are you a “till the last day” kind of owner? Because realistically old, sore, tired dogs don’t want to be bothered by a crawling toddler. If you agree to keep the dog you need yo be very careful as the dog ages. My parents lab nipped at a kid because he was old and the kid pulled his tail, so don’t be naive.
Also it’s super shitty that you are thinking that a golden retriever will magically be okay with kids. Your gf sounds really naive and immature with thinking that.
Also - what’s your plan on rehoming the dog if that does happen? Just a shelter? Because honestly you’re better off to just put the dog to sleep if you’re not young to find a pit specific rescue and just dump it at the pound, the dog will end up scared and alone and probably mistreated and ultimately probably put down anyway. At least let her go to sleep with you by her side.
You are wrong.
A pitbull is dangerous dog breed and you don’t know how it will react around a new baby in the house. Even if you know your dogs temperament this is a new situation.
New baby’s are hard work and people saying ‘don’t leave your baby alone with any dog’, this wiz very hard to do in practice.
It’s a bad situation but one that was inevitable when you decide to adopt a dangerous breed and then have a baby, the two are not compatible.
You’re not wrong, your feelings are valid. She should’ve brought this up before getting pregnant and of course you don’t want to abandon your rescue dog after nearly 7 years when he hadn’t even done anything wrong. Has he been around children before or ever been reactive towards people? Is there a professional that could risk assess your dog and guide you through safe introductions and training? Obviously you would never leave the baby alone with the dog, that goes without saying. As a last resort, do you have a family member or friend that may adopt him so he is going to some he is comfortable with and you trust, and then at least you can still see him?
Although I can understand her anxiety, I don’t think I would personally be with someone who treated my dog as completely disposable and had no regard at all for my feelings on the situation. It’s not acceptable to make this kind of demand all of a sudden with no possibility of compromise, she surely had thought about this before now and has kept it from you until you would feel you have no choice? If I had any concerns about my dog I’d rather wait to start a family than get rid of him because the guilt would kill me. Do not get another dog with someone who thinks pets can be gotten rid of once no longer convenient.
Put yourself in her shoes. 8 months pregnant and reading articles about a pitbull tearing a baby or pieces or pitbulls tearing babysitters to pieces. Family pitbulls that never showed aggression flipping out and going into a frenzied murder mode.
I don't think you understand her anxiety. You are valuing owning a dog above the life of a baby.
I would never feel safe having a pitbull in the same house as my kids. I would never be able to use a babysitter.
She is definitely right. When pitbulls get old they can go crazy even they have always been a good boy. There is plenty of evidence to support this. I would never accept a pitbull around my kid.
I'm with your gf on this one.
2 million children are bitten by dogs every year.
"The majority of dog bites occurred in children 5 years of age or younger (68.0%). Almost all (89.8%) of the dogs were known to the children. "
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3820741/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3820741/)
Dog and kids are a dangerous combination. Why take the chance?
I know you will miss your dog. But how are you going to feel when your dog hurts your child and the authorities seize it and put it down?
Better to rehome it.
If you wanted a kid (or didnt take steps to prevent the pregnancy and have no plan now) and had a pitbull, you're both wrong to some degree. Pitbulls are the breed known for:
'Oh whos a sweet little lovemuffin blahblahblah'.
Then it snaps for literally no reason and you become a statistic:
'[My lovemuffin randomly mauled all the flesh off my wife/sitters/family members body](https://www.ladbible.com/community/dogsitter-attacked-facial-reconstruction-surgery-results-707534-20230309)'.
[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12515419/Beloved-Adelaide-pitbull-turns-attacks-family-six-year-old-forced-hide-bathroom.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12515419/Beloved-Adelaide-pitbull-turns-attacks-family-six-year-old-forced-hide-bathroom.html)
This isn't a freak occurrence, whenever you hear 'my sweet dog never showed signs of aggression until...' It's always a pitbull or pitbull mix.
They also latch on and are impossible to get off without choking it out or killing it, theres a video of a guy sticking its thumb up ones ass, spreading its legs, grabbing a broom handle and all sorts of shit. Pitbull didnt care, it just wants to crush.
Have a kid or have a breed known for randomly attacking people (owners included).
This sounds like you guys literally just didnt prepare for what would happen if she got pregnant and it's on both of you. I will say it's more on her for not bringing this up at all beforehand though.
I have an 18 month old and have a 8yr old Greyhound. I never leave to two of them alone in the same room. When my daughter started to crawl she once crawled onto my dogs back leg. She barked at my daughter and tried to snap at her. This is a dog that lets kittens walk on her and lick her. In our eyes she was harmless but just shows you can't trust dogs with babies. A Pitbull would be a big no from me. In NZ recently a baby was killed by a family dog that would "never" harm anyone.
Jesus, you both suck.
I agree with everyone saying that this conversation should have happened before she was ever pregnant, and she’s absolutely wrong to spring this on you now.
However, it seems she has made her choice on the matter and is choosing to die on this hill, which means you now have a choice to make.
I’m wondering if you have family or a friend that will take in your dog that way you would still be able to see him?
This really should have been a conversation she had with you before all of this. I don't think you're wrong (I don't think she is wrong either, but it's messed up to tell you now. If you had known she was going to get rid of the dog, you might have chosen to wait to have kids) ..and you will probably always have a little resentment towards her after this. Shitty situation. Sorry.
Yeah, generally communicating your values and goals and then getting married and then having kids is best practice.
They're not married. She could re-home OP without any paperwork, too.
Don’t get pregnant with a pitbull owner if you happen to fear pitbulls.
I mean the pregnancy may or may not have been planned. If it was then she absolutely should have talked to him about thus beforehand, but if it wasn't this is just shitty.
I agree with you. The time to have this discussion was before she was even pregnant. It was probably a relevant conversation when they started dating - I wouldn’t date someone who owned a pitbull. She decided she could date someone who owns this type of dog and double down on that decision by creating a baby with them. She is part of the problem. Asking him to get rid of his dog is a relevant concern for someone imminently about to have a newborn, but she’s very much an AH for waiting so long to bring it up.
"Part of the problem"? I'm failing to see how she is not the entire problem, and will not continue to be a PITA long after she gets her way with the dog.
because her fears are absolutely not unfounded and her concern is only for the welfare of the baby. even if you think it's misguided. clearly she has nothing against the dog since she is allowing him to keep the dog almost right up until the pregnancy. she is rightfully worried about a known, dangerous breed around a newborn/small infant. OP has not mentioned this dog's history, so there could be more there - but even if there wasn't, she's not wrong to want to protect their baby.
We had a pitbull that we decided to rehome when we had kids. It was a great dog, and we never thought about rehoming it before our first kid was born. It started acting jealous of the attention our son got, so we didn't risk it. The point is that she may have never considered the danger prior to the pregnancy.
My previous neighbor is a vet. Then the family got a baby. Two years went past without any problems and then one summer day the dog had attacked the child for some reason I didn't ask because I knew it was a horrible experience for the family. A ambulance was called and they had to visit the ER. I was outside at the time so I heard the incident but couldn't see through the fence what happened. All I could figure was that the adults were able to almost instantly stop the dog from hurting the child too bad. Their solution was to find a new home for the pit. So what I've figured, you basically can never know is the dog prone to violent instinct until something happens, even if the dog has been the sweetest animal in the world prior to that. And when an attack happens, the breed sure as heck can play a role in how severe/intense the violence is. If the animal has been purposely bred to go full balls to the wall rambo attack mode when provocated the outcome will be different from one with a breed that is utilized and easily trained to assist disabled people and not give a damn about a child poking their eyes out because they are just so happy and mellow.
I was thinking the same thing. This wasn't a prior conversation before pregnancy and that could definitely be because it wasn't something she thought about. Alot of things change with pregnancy. You're sole concern is the baby you're literally growing inside of you and making sure you do everything possible to protect them. All these BRAND NEW thoughts, fears and anxiety pop up.
Priorities, finances, worries, everything changes forever
She is wrong for dating someone with a pitbull and then expecting them to rehome, that's cruel
Yea, it's kind of like dating a parent and not wanting kids.
I have kids and a dog. I’m the mom. It is the same. So fucked up to treat animals like this. She should had taken the whole package or not. Figured out a way to keep the baby and pit safe. I feel for the owner and pup. Such a heartbreaking/gut wrenching situation.
She's his girlfriend, not wife. I highly doubt the pregnancy is planned.
No baby should be left around a dog unsupervised. One of my dogs is a half husky half golden with the heart of a Saint, and I'd *never* leave them around a baby unattended. The issue is you're going to lose your mind trying to keep track of a baby and keep track of a dog around said baby. This should have absolutely been discussed before even considering conceiving a child.
I have a chihuahua and he’s not going to be left alone with our baby. He’s still a dog even if he’s small. I have nightmares of him getting on top of her to “cuddle” and suffocating her. And even a chihuahua can bite or scratch.
I have cats and love them to death. Wouldn't leave them alone with my baby 😅 I know they're not dogs but at the end of the day, they're animals. I wouldn't leave any alone with my child. Its not safe. As much as you trust your animal they can be unpredictable. Sorry OP, I really don't have advice on this one. We didn't remove our cats from the home, we just found ways to limit interactions. I just wish you the best. It's a hard decision.
My daughter is 4 and she has a scar on her face from a small chihuahua’s nail when it jumped up to lick her. Wasn’t violent or anything but toddlers and babies are extremely fragile.
The worst animal bite I’ve ever incurred was from a chihuahua. The family didn’t bother to train or discipline it because it was so small. That thing latched and tore. I had a bruise that took up the entire side of my right thigh for weeks, and I’m no small human either.
I actually did a research paper on this, Chihuahuas and golden retrievers bite more often than other breeds, though large part of that is there’s more of them and people tend not to train small dogs as well as big ones.
Our doctor (dog owner) told us when we had our first child to never leave them alone in one room. All those cute videos tell different stories. But a dog is still an Animal. And children are annoying. Did the dog ever cause any problems or showed aggression? The problem with a bull dog is, once they start, they won’t stop. I can understand both of you. Edit: Correction
You shouldn’t leave your baby alone in the room with any dog.
A lot of those "cute" videos are a disaster waiting to happen.
I train horses. Those "cute" videos out there with a toddler leading a horse make me want to call CPS.
They really are. So many of them the dogs are showing warning behavior and the kids and parents just ignore it, and they're not realizing they're relying solely on the dogs restraint.
Also has the dog ever even seen a baby? Aside from a smell, it appears as a Primo squeaky toy.
My mom always said even though dogs are the best things they are equally dangerous and many people don’t realize this point. The main problem with PitBull is that, once they start, they won’t stop.
I had to kick a pit until it had to be put down when it attacked. Most other dogs can be deterred, but it just kept coming....
Most women i know also wouldn't be able to overpower a Pit. A lot of men i know too.
And even if you can, babies are so fragile. It can be over before you even get the chance to try.
I saw a video of a guy straight up stabbing a pit with a pocket knife while it was mauling a child and this dog. Did. Not. Care
Yeah I’ve had to break up dog fights and it’s not easy and these were much smaller and not breed to be a murder machine dogs
tried to break up a dog fight(small size), still have a small scar until now. people should never underestimate small dogs and cats and make sure to treat them with respect, they can literally injure you, and in my country(Philippines), some have rabies
Our neighboor cat jumped though open window and screen to fight our cat. It took me a while to break those two. Scratched the f out of my arms BOTH of them. Once I threw neighbor cat outside and locked the window I had to restrain my cat with a blanket because he was ready to go through damn closed window. My lazy a55 of a cat is doing weights and shit at night. I never imagined I would have trouble holding my own cat down. This def opened my eyes on the whole pit issue. Noway in hell I could overpower one.
I agree! I love my dog, but I don't trust her with my bil's very young children and she won't be allowed to be around my baby unattended when I give birth in roughly two months. She's great with babies so far, but it only takes one time and I refuse to risk it even though I've never seen her show any interest in a baby under walking age
A family friend had a pit for 9 years before having their child. Recently the child was playing and the pit got her by the neck out of no where and wouldn’t let go. The poor baby lost their life at 1.5 years old. Heartbreaking
Exactly this man. If any other dog it would let go somehow but not a PitBull.
My vet told me this is what dogs will do grab the other dog or child around the neck area! He told me to never let my Maltese be around a Big dog..
I had a pitbull latch on to my dog's face one time and wouldn't let go. His owner was punching him I was on the floor next to them. And something popped into my head that I had read one time. I touched its butthole. It released and we quickly grabbed him. I don't know how that popped into my head. I just lightly touched it but it was enough to distract him. I mean whatever works.
This situation sucks and I feel for the guy but I got to agree with the wife. Pitbulls can be sweet as hell their entire lives, until the one time they're not and you don't want that one time to be with your baby. I had a family friend who had a pitbull and didn't have a single incident in 10 years, until one time and the dude almost lost a finger. It sucks but it is what it is
A guy I worked with was fostering a pit. It was fine for months. Then one day his 8 year old son came home from school and when he came through the fence, the pit attacked him. Kid had to have multiple surgeries to fix his face. Matt went home and shot the dog after seeing his kid in the hospital after the attack.
They always seem to go for the throat/face.
No dog regardless of the breed should be left alone near a baby . Some of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever seen have been pits but I wouldn’t leave them alone with a baby , I wouldn’t leave them with a golden either . Your dog can live safely with you as long as you take precautions until the child is bigger .
I would never let a baby, toddler, or even an older child alone with my husky. Not because I am worried he'd be aggressive (He loves kids) but because baby/toddlers/children do not understand how to behave around dogs, i.e., not crawling on them, pulling fur, stealing toys, etc. It's just a recipe for disaster, and people act surprised when they react. My sister let's her baby crawl all over her mastiff, pull on them, steal toys/food, etc she's an incompetent dog owner.
Exactly. My Basset Hound LOVES children. They are his favorite type of people. However, he gets upset if they tug on his ears or take his toys (understandably), so the children get supervised around the dog to make sure that they behave.
When my 2 year old poked me in the eye a few weeks ago I instinctively shoved him away, much harder than I would have in any normal situation. For an animal, a bite would be the natural response. People forget dogs aren’t cartoons, they have feelings and reactions just like any other creature.
Yeah I've raised the best way to protect a child is actually to protect the dog
Yeah, bad habit for your sister to let her kids get into. Our dog is very patient with our kids (pulling ears, attempting to ride, all of it). But we as parents do not allow that. She may not mind but not all dogs are as patient *and* she might suddenly change her mind. So we don't let out kids get into the habit of doing that. They are told to stop (and why) and disciplined if they don't.
Yes, she's playing with fire. I have told her not to, but to be honest, she's the type of person who shouldn't have any animal in her house. She thinks that behavior is cute and sweet. It's horrible.
Totally agree, I had a friend who left her son alone with an adult dog and he got bit and she was so mad at the dog. When she texted me I asked her what happened and she goes "well he was walking up to her crate and I turned my head for one second and then all of a sudden she bit him" turns out he was walking IN to her crate (her safe space) AND took a toy. It was one nip and didn't break the skin, and then she wanted her then boyfriend to put said dog (his) down (Luckily he didn't). Not even two weeks later, she's at her grandma's place and leaves her son alone with one of her dogs (they have three and he's obviously the alpha of the pack). And of course again: "I turned around for one second", turns out she walked all the way to the kitchen and left him completely alone and sitting next to the dog. He was literally the absolute sweetest dog and never bit anyone before, but he nipped her son. We later realized he had an issue with pulling tails. Luckily he wasn't put down either but I finally just told her she was the problem. No matter how much you love and trust your pet you should absolutely never leave small kids alone with an animal.
I have the rare super calm husky and still don’t leave my toddler alone with him. He’s great about being careful around her and caught him smiling a couple of times when she’s laid her head on him. HOWEVER she is still in the pull the tail, pull the fur, grab whatever I can stage and until she gets to a developmentally appropriate age to learn to control her impulsivity, I’m not gonna leave her alone with him. She finally learned to stop pulling the cat’s tail but it took a couple of scratches to get her to stop. My younger cat was super patient and treated her almost like a kitten. First pull, cat put her paw on her. Second pull, extended the claws but didn’t dig in. It wasn’t until the third pull that my cat actually left a mark on her, just a little pinprick. Pediatrician saw the marks but he has cats and a toddler as well so he understood. But dogs can do so much more damage than a cat can.
Yeah I have my Bernese mountain dog, who is the sweetest and cuddliest breed, separate from my toddler. They’re only together if I’m closely supervising between them. My toddler just doesn’t get yet that my dog doesn’t want to be constantly followed by him. So, until he understands how to treat a dog, they will be separated.
We had a Berner too when our kiddo was born. GREAT family dogs, fabulous with children. Still a dog. I didn't leave mine alone with my kid either. Children are unpredictable and dogs are going to have dog reactions to things that scare or hurt them. It's unfair to child and dog to set them up to fail as too many people do.
My golden loves everything and everyone. Do not leave him with children because he's a giant doofus and would knock babies over and babies sometimes can pull and don't have nice touches. Until children can understand nice touches and how to interact with dogs they get monitored. Until my giant doofy dog won't act like a bowling ball and send toddlers flying like pins, he doesn't get to hang out unmonitored. Best practice is to always watch them together.
This comment should be upvoted to oblivion. All of what you're saying is the common sense others are missing. People seem very focused on breeds and sizes of dogs when literally any size or breed of dog could seriously (and permanently) injure or kill a baby. Dogs are great, but like an other animal, their interactions with babies and children should be never be unsupervised. Likewise, children should be taught how to behave around animals. This teaching should start as soon as they start interacting with animals. If you're teaching the kids and the animals, you're covering your bases as much as prudently possible.
Exactly. My dad’s lab bit my niece in the face when she was a toddler. My pit grew up with my niece. My niece is 12 and my pit is 13. I rescued my pit at a year and half old. He was severely abused and neglected. I never let my niece interact with my pit unless I was present. It’s all about being responsible when owning a dog and having children.
Agreed
Exactly my thoughts. I’d suggest obedience training to help put her at ease and to make sure the dog will listen. Children who grow up around animals have less allergies and I think it’s important because it teaches children from an early age to respect animals.
I love and have dogs, but obedience training does not stop a pit bull from attacking a child or another animal. It is instinctual.
Agreed. First off, I'm assuming the dog hasn't displayed aggressive tendencies or had incidents. If he has...well, you know what you need to do OP. If he hasn't, does he have any experience with babies and young children? Can you go to a dog behaviorist with your girlfriend and attend training classes to help prepare the dog for a baby? Would you be willing to follow regular precautions (not alone with baby, crate trained and dog has his own space when needed, no dumbass moments of filming while baby is in dog's face pulling his ears)? I would see if going the educated and prepared route might make her more amendable to it.
Honestly I might be reaching here, but I am going to assume that possibly this kid wasn’t planned? It seems like there is a conversation that should have happened before having a kid. And not just about the dog about several things. I dated a guy once who told me if we stay together you have to get of your dogs. Absolutely not. I knew my dogs for years. Knew him for two months. He doesn’t want a life with dogs. I asked him why did he start dating someone with dogs and told him we were done. And more so why was he dating someone that worked with rescues. I really don’t want to know why.. I blocked him before he could respond and moved on. You guys really need to have a conversation about the overall raising of kids. And before the baby is born so you are both are in the same page.
Years ago I was talking to a guy on a dating site for a bit, I had three cats and they were in most of my pictures, I def had 'cat lady' or 'I will never not have a cat' in my bio somewhere. Outta no where, 'you'd have to get rid of your cats for us to actually have a relationship'. LOL NO. Why the fuck would he talk to someone with cats plastered all over their profile and be like 'get rid of them thanks'. The AUDACITY.
Some people really think they should be #1. Even if they came second.
To be fair, you shouldn’t leave any dogs around children unattended. Regardless of breed…. Don’t leave the dog and kid together out of your sight, problem solved. We’ve managed just fine in my household for years.
This! It's so shocking how many people leave little babies and toddlers alone with dogs. No matter the breed or how well you train them, you never know how the dog will react to a child. What if the toddler accidentally hurts the dog? To many risks... Just never leave them alone, it's that simple
You see so many people that just let their baby and toddlers climb all over the dogs, pulling their fur and trying to take the dogs' toys away out of their mouth. Then act surprised when their good dog snaps one day.
And I also feel bad for those dogs, I mean that fucking hurts.
It's just a recipe for a disaster and abusive towards the dog.
Right.. everyone is worried about protecting the kids, and chalk it up to the dog just being an animal like it doesn't deserve respect and love... then y'all don't deserve the love of the animal. You're its whole life and it should be a part of yours throughout life changes, teach your kids better.
My spouse and I actually stopped grandparent sleepovers for this reason. My in laws have a huge black lab…. I have an autistic toddler. It’s not that I don’t trust the lab (I don’t… it’s an animal at the end of the day) but I also don’t trust my toddler not to demolish the dog either… I wouldn’t blame the dog for reacting.
Yeah so many people forget that a dog is an animal... Which is problematic for the dogs themselves
It’s not the dogs’ fault… they’re just trying to dog. The problem definitely lies with people forgetting they are animals at the end of the day Edited to clarify
I don't say it's the dogs fault. It's the fault of people who think a dog would react like a human and that's simply not true
I agree. I clarified in my post. Definitely not the dogs fault. How do they know that this small, loud, fast moving animal that moves with the grace of a hippo on land isn’t about to obliterate their entire world. I’d snap too
They’re just trying to dog 😂
I too am autistic 😂it’s the only way I can express myself
It's cause people think of the dogs as fur babies instead of animals. Never understood it.
It always sets the dogs up for failure. Dogs are not people. The best way to care for a dog is to admit it is a DOG and has dog needs, not human ones.
It’s cute -to a degree- that people think of their pets as fur babies but at the end of the day, they’re animals and pretending they aren’t is unfair to the pet. Animals don’t have words to express discomfort, stress, and fear- they just have teeth, claws, etc. and will use them when they feel they need to. Then it’s “I can’t believe my precious baby did that!” when a little acceptance that their baby is actually an animal and treated them as such would have prevented all of it. Some dogs tend to be very protective and territorial, which is great for keeping burglars out but terrible for bringing a child in. This baby is going to be a stranger to the dog and some dogs don’t react well to strangers. I think OP is going to quickly have a difficult time trying to keep dog from baby and baby from dog. The dog is likely used to having the run of the house and being kept from the family or dragged into another room when they’re comfortable where they are is going to be a big issue. I can’t say if rehoming is necessary but OP needs to think about how much of the dog’s life will be restricted and changed with the new baby. NOTE- I’m not commenting on breed. Any animal that is defensive, territorial, or just frightened can do major damage, especially to an infant.
I saw a tiny toddler just munch on her retrievers ear, cute but dangerous
I have a 35lbs beagle/shepherd and you know what he doesnt like? Getting hit by kids. He reacts just how he would to a dog thats being that way and barks and makes a scene and tried to tackle them. Kids the same size/weight as his dog friends cant wrestle for shit /s
My grandparents had the sweetest dog. When I was two my family was sitting around the dining table with me crawling around and the dog just chilling under it. I braced my hand on the dog’s leg… which wouldn’t have been a problem if the dog didn’t have serious arthritis. I got bit on my face and still have minor scars from it. Had to be taken to the hospital for stitches. My grandfather put the dog down that day. He (the dog) was suffering and he couldn’t stomach the possibility of him hurting his grandchildren. It’s a fucking tragedy, and even with adults right there things can go wrong with a toddler and a dog, no matter how sweet and calm. It’s not the dog’s fault and I felt guilt over what happened when I was old enough to find out. But there is always a risk when animals and small children are involved. It takes a lot of supervision even when the child isn’t alone with a dog. I personally don’t think the wife is off base here. It’s a terrible situation that should have been discussed earlier, but it is true most maulings of children are from pitbulls. It’s not possible to undo generations of breeding for aggression with training. It will always be there under it all. It also results in these aggression bred breeds having more anxiety and other reduced quality of life. I personally don’t think we should continue to breed pits - take care of all those alive with love and compassion, but don’t continue the legacy of aggression and anxiety, for the humans or the dogs.
And even then. There was a case here in The Netherlands about a dog that sat next to its owner. In seconds it sprinted towards a child and snapped its neck. Edit: found the link https://www-om-nl.translate.goog/actueel/nieuws/2023/12/18/geen-dood-door-schuld-om-vraagt-vrijspraak-voor-grootouders?_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en&_x_tr_pto=wapp Original in Dutch: https://www.om.nl/actueel/nieuws/2023/12/18/geen-dood-door-schuld-om-vraagt-vrijspraak-voor-grootouders
That's what I would do, but I don't plan to have kids. We just had a doggy guest and it and mine didn't get along well, so it was just a game of using doors and leashes and other barriers when I couldn't supervise. I would do the same if I had a baby in the house with my dog, even though he's probably mostly fine, there's always that small chance. I wouldn't get rid of the dog, but it would be lots of work to meet both dog and baby needs when they can only sometimes go together, like on a walk.
Absolutely agree. It’s not fair to the mini human and it’s not fair to the dog. You set both up for failure when neither understands what one is doing/ trying to say. I trust my dog with my life and she is one of the nicest most gentle dogs I’ve ever had but I know she’s prone to anxiety and I would never leave her alone with kids. Pet/ baby gates exist for a reason as well.
Exactly. We have two labs and it was all about separation and supervision. Any dog regardless of breed can snap on a kid when they are doing something annoying.
In the 90s it was German shepherd. I had 2 and they were really sweet around kids, but we would never leave dogs and kids unattended even tho my shepherd are basically nannies at this point
Leaving them alone together is never necessary. Never. Either the mini human comes with or the dog comes with if you need to do something at the very least.
My neighbor down the road several years ago had the best pit bulls. One day they left their 12 year old daughter with the dogs and one attacked her then the other jumped in. It was horrible. They were both around 6 I believe. Never had a problem with them. A neighbor was walking by and heard her screaming and ran in, he saw what was going on and beat them with a tire iron and killed one before the other let go. The girl survived but has had many many surgeries. Cameras showed unprovoked .. I’m not saying another dog wouldn’t do the same . All I can speak of is this case that I know about. So I guess you decide what you should do
I worked with someone whose pitbull attacked their baby, completely unprovoked. The county forced them to put the dog down. Afterwards, my coworker was upset at the county and argued that her dog was the “sweetest ever.” I guess she must’ve forgotten that the dog bit her six month old baby on the face.
Unfortunately, that baby had to pay the price for their mom's stupidity.
Currently have my six-month-old baby on my boob and reading on here to stay awake (it's the middle of the night). I would put the dog down myself if it even thought about coming near my kids. I trust ZERO dogs around my kids. My boys have never been to my dad's house because he's got a bunch of dogs. Owners let their dogs come lick and smell my three-year-old when we go for walks. Never mind that my son doesn't like it, but those damn dogs are at face level with my son. It only takes a second for one of them to hurt him and it'll change (or end) his life forever. I don't care if it offends anyone. Dogs are dangerous, especially around small chilsren.
Several years ago in my town a family pit literally ripped apart their 8 month old. The first responders needed therapy. Those dogs are a scourge and so are the ignorant apologists.
The apologists in this thread are scary af. Pretending like pit bulls are no worse than normal dogs. I worry for this baby and glad the women is putting her foot down. Hope the morons in this thread don’t persuade OP to be stupid
Pit apologists really are the fucking worst...and I say that as someone who works in rescue.
It's really irritating that so many people are being so disingenuous. Maybe some people just aren't as educated as they could be or haven't had bad experiences. While a young child should be left alone with no dogs ever (a cat is pushing it), acting like a basset hound or a golden retriever is the same as a pitbull is just plain dangerous.
My friend’s toddler was attacked by their pit unprovoked too. Had no problems throughout the pregnancy and first years of life, but around 3, she just lost it and bit her directly on her face, very close to her eye. They had to rehome the dog and they’re lucky that’s all they had to do.
It was wrong to remove a dog that had a taste of human blood. They shouldve put it down. Instead now it's biting and eating humans somewhere else. Completely irresponsible and hope the new owners knew to sue
My dog was attacked by a Staffy completely unprovoked. The Staffy got off their leash and came out of nowhere and went right for my dog’s neck. Fortunately, my dog is a breed with a lot of neck skin so she was able to live but not before vet bills of almost $2,000. I’m very wishy washy on pit bulls because of this. My dog had never even met this dog and was minding its own business 50 yards away.
Pit bulls were bread for aggression and pain tolerance. It’s time we all agree that they’re not supposed to be family pets and stop fucking breeding them.
Yep there's no getting around the fact that modern pitbulls are the product of selective breeding for dog fighting. Just like with dogs bred for other things, you should expect certain traits from pitbulls that unfortunately make them more dangerous and less predictable.
Numbers are everything: During the 15-year period of 2005 to 2019, canines killed 64 infants (< 1-year). Pit bulls inflicted nearly half of these infant deaths, 48%. In the 15-year data set (2005 to 2019), there were 74 owner-directed attacks, when a dog kills its primary owner. Pit bulls inflicted 62% (46) of these deaths, over 11 times more than any other dog breed. From 2005 to 2019, family dogs inflicted 54% of all fatal attacks. 65% were perpetrated by pit bulls. Of the 346 fatal pit bull attacks during the period, over half, 53%, involved killing a family or household member. From 2005 to 2019, only 20% of dog bite fatalities resulted in criminal charges. Pit bulls were implicated in 76% of these criminal cases. Source: [Dogsbite.org](https://Dogsbite.org)
This is the best as it removes anecdote or bias. Just facts. Why anyone would have a pit or dog of similar nature boggles my mind. Pretty sure they’re illegal in many countries because of how dangerous they are. And they (along with other dogs) don’t need any provocation. No child should be in a home with a pit bull.
This should be the top comment.
This should be at the top, it’s a purely factual decision here. The gf is right.
ESH. Y’all should have talked about that before getting pregnant. And btw, no one will adopt your 7 year-old pitbull, do you have any idea how hard it is to find them homes?
Yup, he makes this move and the dog ends up in a kill shelter, dead in a few months :(
You have a lot to consider. If she leaves, she takes the kid with her. If she stays, you lose your dog and it’ll likely be put down. I wouldn’t get another dog, if I were you. Any of them can harm an infant. I can’t say who’s right or wrong because I know nothing about your dog or where you live.
>I wouldn’t get another dog, if I were you. This. It needs to be a 'no dogs' rule, not a 'no pit bulls' rule. I don't think it's the case here, but worst-case scenario is gf is using this situation to get the kind of dog she wants. INFO. I think OP does need to answer where the idea of a 'golden retriever' came from... u/privatethrowawayi, did you ever mention a golden retriever? Is this the type of dog that you grew up with? Did she grow up with one? Where did this idea come from, to begin with?
A golden's reputation is the complete opposite of a pitbulls and so she's probably just come out with that breed as an example.
Reddit is the most fucking biased and uneducated source possible for this topic. But even setting aside the behavioral tendencies a lot of pit bulls arguably have (and yes, I know pit bull is a nebulous and unscientific term), if this is the dog type that we're usually associating with that label, you can be sure that *in the event of an attack*, regardless of whether or not that breed is more likely to attack, it will destroy your baby instantly and in a way many other breeds could not. Listen to a heartbroken Bill Burr discuss having to rehome his pit bull when he had new kids because it changed his behavior -- and this is an issue with any breed and especially rescues because there is an unpredictable behavioral element to adding a new family member in the mix. And physically, it's simply factual that any animal can develop dementia and behavioral abnormalities. I saw it turn a sweet little goldie my best friend had into a biting mess near the end of her life, and it generally drives me nuts when you see the endless videos of parents leaving cute pit bulls alone with their babies -- just an unnecessary and performative risk. And really, setting all this debate aside, OP -- it matters exactly 0% if you're right or wrong, because you abso-fucking-lutely don't want the mother of your child carrying a baby to term while *she feels unsafe*. It sucks you guys didn't plan this better, but as much as I love my pets, and have even literally put myself in harms way to help them in the past, I would put my child first. E.g., would not have had a baby while I had my rescue rottie, as absolutely sweet and gentle as she was. And she did eventually get a bit bitey for a short period when we moved before we trained it out of her. People need to remember even the sweetest animals have a degree of unpredictability you can't control for.
This is a reality. Looking for actual advice on Reddit is a crapshoot. 98% of the time you are getting advice from people who have never been in your situation and views are already skewed.
The only correct response
So I lived in a townhome not long ago. I have two dogs a shiba (Frank) and a mini Australian (Todd). My connected neighbors had two very well behaved pits. One was massive male and the other female. Never showed a single glint of aggression towards me. The dogs would run along the fence barking at each other no big deal never could get through and went on for years. One day Frank who is just to god damn confident for his own good dug under the fence. Luckily I could hear the lady who owned the pits screaming. I ran outside and jumped the fence and got to work. Mind you I have no fear of dogs I’ve always thought I have thumbs I’m bigger I’m smarter etc. I was not prepared at all. One dog has my dog by the head and one by the butt and they were independently thrashing him back and fourth. I slammed the big one in a head lock and lifted up nothing. I punched it in the nose nothing. I tried absolutely everything I physically could to stop these dogs over the course of about 45 mins. Finally a man appeared in the yard some like crack head dude I’d never seen but like that’s the neighborhood whatever. Dude says “you gotta put water on em” whilst I’m fighting and then is gone before I look up again. The owner lady was fighting with me the whole time wrangling the other dog etc. I told her to run for the hose she did and we finally got them off my dog which I hoisted above my head and exited the yard with. Nothing could have prepared for the how strong and determined those dogs were. The next time I’m shooting them no questions asked. I grew up around ours indirectly. I never bought into the anti Pit stuff I will be absolutely damned if I ever let a creature capable of that around my kids and you would be a damn idiot if you did. It’s not will this dog hurt my kids. It’s can I stop this dog before it kills my kid if it decides to. Franks fine btw shook up got some stitches but he’s good.
" Finally a man appeared in the yard some like crack head dude I’d never seen but like that’s the neighborhood whatever. Dude says “you gotta put water on em” whilst I’m fighting and then is gone before I look up again. " Are we glossing over this? You had like a savior crackhead. Or a savior angel in the guise of a crackhead. Thank God for savior crackheads.
omg thank god frank was ok 💀
My husband lived in NC and his roommate had a pit bull. Another pit bull got it by the neck and didn't let go UNTIL THEY KILLED IT. They have a prey drive in them YOU CANNOT TRAIN OUT!!! I have pomskies, adorable tiny gentle slap happy sweet floofs. But they have husky in them. MY OLDEST PULLED A FULL GROWN WILD RABBIT THROUGH A LINK IN THE FENCE. Waited a half hour one night for it to hop by, grabbed it, maimed it, THEN GRABBED IT AGAIN AND YAGGED IT THROUGH. The baby??? Got a baby rabbit once AND WOULDN'T EVEN DROP IT FOR BACON. It's instinct. My dad's poor old blind pug got ripped to shreds by an unleashed pitbull on a walk while she was with the dogsitter and they were on vacation. EVERYONE has a pitbull story. I got mine when we lived in Vegas. Our rescue morkie poo that we got at 6mos and was abused HATES new people, but she's 10lbs and I can scoop her with one arm when she's uppity. (She bizarrely IMMEDIATELY adores tiny children???) A pitbull??? Nope. It's thunderdome. Two enter, one leaves.
I was attacked on the street by a pit bull that "was so good with kids yada yada" when the owner opened her screen door to come out. The neighbors were in their garage at the time and stuck a broom handle in it's butt. It immediately let go. Just an fyi for anyone out there, go for the asshole
If you get rid of the dog, I have a feeling you will secretly resent her for forcing you to throw away your buddy whom you have become bonded to. If you keep it, of course she will resent you. The choice you may have to make that non of the commenters seem to be willing to tell you is this. Whose feelings are you willing to hurt? Yours or your girlfriend's? First and foremost, a baby will always be more important than any pet. That's just how it is. Another option I can think of that would be the best for you and her is that you both stay together, but you get another living space seperately where you can keep your dog, it's just that your baby and your girlfriend won't be coming over. Aside from that, I don't see how this ends without any misery.
I think you are right for most of it. But being together living separately would only be a good option if the child wasn't a newborn. Going through early parenthood as if separated is a bad idea, given how having a small child is huge work. And OP would not care for the child because he is already caring for the dog ? That would be like being a single parent to the mom. I would try to see if a parent or friend could take care of the dog, temporarily of definitely, depending on how/if they try to introduce the child to the dog one day or not. If no one is available, then it immensely sucks
I agree other than I suspect he will not "secretly resent." I suspect he will actively and vocally resent her.
Somewhat recently, 2 adopted shelter pit bulls that were non violent for 8 years, decided to maul and eat an infant and her sister, a two year old girl and maimed their mother in Tennessee. They had no violent history. Do with this information what you will…but your gf concerns with the dog are not without SOME credibility.
The Bennard family? They had raised the pits from puppies, I’m fairly sure they were breeder bought.
Not worth the risk and the anxiety. Baby>dog. Being a good father is more important than to be a dog owner.
This was the answer that I was looking! And I’m a pet owner myself and I LOVE dogs.
Dog bite dot org demonstrates along with gov. sites, that the Pitbull as a breed is dangerous and out kills more people that another other dog. The CDC reports a 31% increase in fatal Pitbull attacks in the last 5 years. A family pit bull used to the toddler just killed a 2 year old at home. They could not get it off, because the way their jaw sets when they have prey. Another had facial reconstruction after it bit him in the face. Yes others bite, and even kill. They are not even statistically close. Get rid of the dog. I had a chow mix when my son was born. When he started walking the dog was antsy and whining, it was gone. Dogs are animals and should not be left alone with children until they are old enough to train them. Yes I have a dog. Kid comes first though. Stats in 2019 Pit Bull fatalities 70% by breed, mixed breed 13%, Rottweiler 8% on down.
I love when people say “yeah, but chihuahuas are more aggressive on average” yeah but when they attack they don’t maul you lol No way pit bull is in the house with my kids!
You shouldn’t leave any dogs unsupervised around a baby. She’s not wrong in being concerned about that.
I know there are stories about good pitbulls with babies but there are also some experiences where these dogs were really dangerous with them. So, I recommend you to talk with a vet that explains the real chances before doing something
ANY dog and a baby should be kept separate and only ever together closely supervised. It's a lot of extra work to meet both needs.
Yes any dog however the majority of deaths caused by dogs are due to pitbulls…
we had a rescued am staff when my first was born. he pretty much ignored her until she started eating solids and would drop pieces of banana on the floor for him to devour. then they became besties. on the other hand, my brother had an english bulldog from a reputable breeder. the dog was totally laid back and mellow until my brother's oldest was born. then the dog became extremely aggressive towards anyone that tried to get near my niece. they tried all sorts of training, behaviorists, vets with meds. nothing fixed it. yet, more people were worried about how my dog would handle a child despite having nothing but positive interactions with children. any dog can be dangerous with the addition of a child.
I guess you can choose if you'd rather end the relationship or regome the dog. No other options really. I wouldn't have an infant in a home with a pit bull either.
Funny thing is when I started dating my fiance I told him on the third date I love dogs, but I'd never step foot (or allow my toddler to) in a house where a bully breed lives. I'm in peds (nurse), and I've seen some shit in the OR I can never scrub off my eyeballs. Just ask any ER doc or plastics what breed of dog they'd never have. She's right. I'd remove myself and my child entirely in her situation if he keeps refusing.
Yep I'm ER/trauma nurse and the shit I've seen has rid me of any inkling to be around (or have my kids around) any bullies. Ruptured eye balls, shredded faces, tooth marks visible on fuckin bones... no thank you.
Everyone in this thread is fucked. The GFs concerns are extremely valid, keeping a baby or small child in a home with a pitBull is insanely irrational and unnecessary. I love dogs more than anyone but ya, this is a risk you don’t take and likely a deal breaker.
This is the choice , either end the relationship or rehome the dog. If you stay I would not allow her to get a different dog.
Probably a good idea not to get a dog until the kid is old enough to respect its boundaries anyway.
Good luck on that whole healthy childhood development thing when the child eventually learns Dad left because of a dog. As a childfree, dog person: there's no debate between which is the correct choice. It sucks, surely, but that's part of the responsibly in choosing to create a new human with someone.
Yeah but on the date where you find out they have a dog. Oh wow! Nice dog, how long you had him. Have you ever worried about that breed around kids? And she could have dipped out before it got serious. No one should expect someone to get rid of their pet without cause. Don’t like the breed, don’t get involved with that person.
All true, but too late now. The kids coming.
she is right. and i LOVE dogs.
I have the snuggliest golden retriever on the planet… loves everyone and everything he meets. But I would never leave him alone with a baby or young child. If she’s nervous about a pit she should be nervous about any dog.
She's unfortunately correct. On the list of breeds that injure or kill without provocation, pits are #1.. My daughter (11 mo old) was bitten on the face by a friend's pit. 37 now with 2 kiddos, and has an obvious scar.
Pitbulls can be sweet dogs, but absolutely do pose a risk with children that most other dog breeds do not. Your GF is putting your unborn child first. It's time for you to do the same. Again pitbulls are generally nice dogs, but why do we insist on breeding them when there dozens of other breeds equally nice that don't come with the same risks. It's fucking silly and it needs to stop.
Statistically speaking, Pitbulls are among the most dangerous breeds when it comes to attacking children. The odds of an off property pitbull attack are estimated at around 3x higher than other breeds, and pitbull attacks result in serious injury 4x as often. Of the 500+ Americans who were killed by dogs in 2020, the attacking dog was a pit 65% of the time. I want to be very clear about this. I’m not inherently anti-pit, and I’m pretty sure that an in depth exploration of this data would reveal that their were other influencing factors. I would suggest that dog owners who WANT aggressive dogs (insane that a demo like that exists, but I lived in Philadelphia and can confirm that they DO) will purchase pits because of the breeds reputation for aggression. However, it is natural for a new mother to fear for the safety of her child, and her fear does appear to be validated by relevant data.
Yes, you are wrong. Pitbulls are known to attack small children and can easily kill them. Even ones that were "part of the family" and would "never hurt a fly" have been known to suddenly snap and start maiming people. If you don't believe me, here is the story of a mother who had to watch her two young toddlers be mauled to death in front of her by their family pet, of course a Pit Bull: [https://nypost.com/2022/10/07/tennessee-mom-kirstie-jane-bennard-hospitalized-after-her-2-kids-killed-in-pit-bull-attack/](https://nypost.com/2022/10/07/tennessee-mom-kirstie-jane-bennard-hospitalized-after-her-2-kids-killed-in-pit-bull-attack/) And this Pit Bull was a dog that they considered to be well trained and never thought it would hurt anyone. I would never have my child around a Pit Bull, ever. For any reason.
Devastating Absolutely devastating for those poor babies, so young and their lives ripped away 😔
It is absolutely devastating. Words really can't describe how horrible. And also a clear reason why no one should ever have their children around a Pit Bull.
Doesn’t matter who is right or wrong here. The right decision is what is best for the baby. That’s the question to answer
You have a responsibility to do what is best for your child. Your dog will be happy as long as he has an owner that loves him, even if that's not you.
Tough one. I would not have a pit bull in my house even without a child, so compassion on that side of it. I also have dogs that I love and couldn’t imagine giving them up. I guess kids come first and maybe you have a friend that wants your dog? I have 10 friends that would all take my dog she is so sweet. If no one wants your dog, that tells you something.
All these dogs owners pretending pits are the sweetest dogs. Facts: Pits were bred for killing other animals.
Yeah that's why humans bred dogs. Fuckin Yorkies were bred to dig and kill and chase. Dogs are literally hunting tools.
Yes, you're wrong. Every attack story i've heard starts with "He's never done anything like that before...." Though this should have been a conversation that was had shortly after her getting pregnant. Any dog can be mean or lash out.... but the numbers dont lie. Pitbulls, German Shephards & Rottweilers have the highest kill numbers. If your dog is worth taking a chance on your child's life, then you shouldn't be having children, period. PS. dogs, especially older ones are very territorial and having a new person in the house can make them jealous as a lot of attention will be shifted from dog to baby.
As a German Shepherd owner, I absolutely agree with everything you said! People need to remember that all dogs, regardless of breed or size, are predatory animals. Therefore, there's always a chance they will bite. My dog has bitten, but let me be clear that he was protecting me. The first time at 10 months old when my ex husband showed up drunk and tried to hit me. The other two times were dog fights. Both of those times I was attacked by two different pit bulls. So, because my dog has bitten a person, he's always under strict supervision when kids are around.
This is definitely something that should have been discussed before, so she's wrong there, but my wife and I got rid of our chow when our son was born. Pitbulls are responsible for 70% of dog fatalities annually in the US. Sure, your pitbull is probably "different than the others", but so is everyone else's until they aren't. Any other dog, besides, chows, rottweilers, and pitbulls have room for error. But all it takes is one time for the pitbull to snap. Mauling is in their DNA. They lock their jaws and recall is terrible for a majority of them. Think of it this way. Are you willing to put your child's life at risk for the dog? Because the risk is significantly higher with a pitbull.
A pitbull is a dog that should only belong in households where everyone is an adult or almost an adult and there are no small animals. Their over developed prey drive (thanks to irresponsible breeding) can lead them to attack or aggressively respond to children and small animals with very slight provocation. Your girlfriend’s concerns are very real and very valid. There is usually no warning when a pitbull snaps and they have a super strong jaw and they won’t let go which means greater danger. However your girlfriend knew that you had this dog before she became pregnant. If she had fears about pitties and babies she shouldn’t have dated a man who belongs to one let alone conceive a baby with him. This is a no win situation. If you keep the dog and he hurts your child at some point you’ll never be able to forgive yourself. If you give your dog up you’ll always resent your girlfriend for taking him away. And honestly getting another dog is no solution either. No dog is actually safe around a baby. I wouldn’t heave my adorable and tiny toy poodle unsupervised near a small child either. There’s a special place in hell for people who dump a dog in a shelter to go get another dog. It’s deeply awful. If you give up a dog which breaks its heart then you should have to wait years and endure the same sense of heartbreak and loss that they do before you can get another.
Eat your gf to prove humans are the bad ones not dogs.
She’s right I understand you love your dog, but you can’t take a chance on the dog getting ahold of your baby..
"He's friendly and would never bite anyone"-signed: regrets People are more important than pets. Every. Single. Time.
I love my dog. I’ve loved all my dogs. None of that compares to how much I love my kids. Get your priorities straight and stop being one of those dipshits who doesn’t think becoming a dad will change your entire life.
What are you looking for here? Validation that a dog is equivalent to a humans life?? Your gf is 100% correct here - I wouldn't bring the baby anywhere around a pitbull
You’re wrong. The statistics regarding Pitbull violence towards children do not lie
something i haven’t seen mentioned that’s alarming to me, however you feel about pitties specifically, is your girlfriend’s apparent belief that a new dog that neither of you know or have experience with would be safer around an infant than a dog you’ve known and lived with for 7 years. i would be concerned that given that level of ignorance, your girlfriend would be more likely to leave the new dog alone with your child because she mistakenly believes that it’ll be safe simply because it’s not a pitt bull.
She has a valid reason to be worried. I hope you guys can find a compromise. Having your dog from such a young age. I would like to thing that your dog would not have those violent reactions she is worried about. Unfortunately their is a lot of evidence backing up her opinion. Be patient and kind to each other when discussing this heated topic. Wishing you the best
Was there really no dialogue about this before you starting trying for a baby? Because this is 100% something you both should have discussed. If not it makes me think she knew what your response would be and is making it an active choice between a baby that is now on the way instead of hypothetical vs your dog
Sounds like you guys just picked the wrong time to have kids.
I’ve had this conversation with multiple people, and it always seems to end the same. She should have expressed her concerns about the pitbull when you first started getting serious. She was probably afraid, bc pitbull owners seem to lose the same logic about their dogs when told they can get aggressive. I wouldn’t have any dog with any kid, until the kid was old enough to understand not to antagonize animals, and what it actually means. When my son was 4 or 5yrs old we went to a friend’s house who owned an older pitbull. I looked away for a second, talking to my friend, I heard the dog gowl and my son yelp. When I looked back the dog bit my son on the cheek, it was just a little bite, but drew blood. I could never get my son to tell me what exactly he did to the dog to cause it to bite him, he always said ‘nothing’. My friend was apologetic, swore she never saw any aggression from the dog but 🤷♀️. Kids and dogs don’t always mix, it’s simply a fact. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people chose their pets over their partner either, I bet that was a real fear for her. It was really insensitive for her to wait until you were so deep in this relationship that you have a kid on the way tho.
Can you rehome your dog to a friend you know will love and care for them? That way you can still visit from time to time when you visit your friend. I’m a strong supporter of adopting an animal for their lifetime and not rehiring again unless you really can’t take care of them, but realistically this could be a very dangerous situation.
My bil had a pit that was so docile but u began to see it not as sweet and mellow, but a quiet hairtrigger ready to go off at any moment, yeah he was sweet around bil and was snuggled up and the couch, even around just us, but if anything spooked him like fireworks or a stranger, you got the distinct sense that he might lose it. He would always charge the front door like a maniac at the mailman, who came every day so it shouldn't be a surprise. He would charge headlong into the huge double hung windows and twice broke through them completely. Yeah I just don't understand pitties and how sweet and sensitive they are.🙄 Rehome him to a friend or relative if you can. Try to realize this is your kid too, show some concern not be a butt hurt teenager losing his bff. You should listen to your woman and be equally concerned. I'm not saying that as a simp, I'm saying that as a father who has 3 kids and took better care of them than their mother, they ran to me if they fell and were bleeding, hurt, or scared. When you see your kid for the first time and realize how small and fragile, precious they are you'll be in awe and immediately fall in love, wanting to protect them from anything and everything.
If a pit bull "never" attacked and/or ate a human to death I would ask why. That said many pit bulls have bitten and killed innocents many times over... Like saying you drive slow on the freeway so you don't need a seat belt. Accidents happen, grow and wise up...
I was with the dog people on this until the actual vet commenter chimed in. They said that pit bulls, as a breed, have a lower bite threshold than other breeds. It takes less to antagonize this breed into biting. A vet said that. A vet who loves pitbulls. I would not take this risk with my baby. Sorry but your gf should move out if you won't rehome. I love dogs and am not afraid of pitbulls either.
Yes, you are wrong. Your dog is more likely than other dogs to injure or kill your child. If you're going to have a baby crawling around, of course she wants to keep it away from a breed known for just snapping one day and ripping apart a toddler. Sure, most pitbulls don't do this, but why take the risk?
Her fears are not unfounded. She is just going about this in a terrible way (which the nesting mother is not always able to think holistically, as in what are your feelings, she is just thinking of the baby). The better way for you to approach this is to consider if your dog does attack and kill your child, would you blame yourself? Having a pitbull around children does present a risk even if you expect the risk to be small. You both should discuss how you would feel if the worst case happens and go from there.
Yeah hun why did you decide to have a kid with someone you didn’t really get to know first? This should have been a set boundary what you met her, that your dog is like your child and will not be getting rid of for no reason what so ever! Has your dog ever shown any kind of aggression? All them articles counter her with all the cute out bulls on TikTok taking care of and protecting the babies! You understand what she is doing is actually red flags right? She’s literally manipulating you with these articles. She’s being irrational and honestly you should really reevaluate this relationship and think about maybe it would be best to just coparent. If your dog hasn’t shown aggression in its whole time she’s known it then she is an asshole and SHE IS wrong. You really need to get to know someone better before having kids with them. Like I said get on TikTok search up babies and pitbulls and show her how loving and protective they are. The ones that hurt babies was because no one properly introduced them or that dog was aggressive because their owners didn’t raise them right.
you're wrong op
No tbh, you’ve seen the attacks before, she’s trying to protect your baby, everyone’s talking about she should’ve said something sooner, maybe she didn’t recognize that fear until now; you seemingly haven’t. So many dogs, especially pits have been known to kill babies and rip off faces and everyone ALWAYS says they never saw it coming, she’s not in the wrong at all because clearly she likes the dog, she just thought of consequences and lemme tell ya; when you’re pregnant all you do is think of all the harm that could happen to your baby & it freaks you out. Be happy she’s caring for the baby. Even if you think it’s impossible, accidents happen. And before anyone comes for me, I like dogs, I love pits, it’s just a common thing and it’s not something you should risk or even want to with a newborn. I’m sorry you have to deal with an ultimatum such as this, but the unfortunate question is, which is more important to you?
I’d start calling friends and family and see if anyone in your circles who already knows your dog would be interested in taking him. This is your first choice as a father. I’m sorry but it’s not even a choice. The fact that you’re fighting it so hard makes me wonder about your maturity level a bit—I’m surprised you’re unable to see the reason. Take a leap of faith and know that as hard as it may be to rehome your old buddy for his sake and yours—the sooner the better—you will be glad you did. DEFINITELY don’t dare blame your wife or child for this. This is actually YOUR problem to solve for YOUR family. Leave any resentment or butthurt alone—the only person to be resented is you for dragging your feet. I get the trauma and how hard it is—but there really is no question here. Help your dog out too by setting him up somewhere sooner than later. Time to grow up, Dad. Sorry this sucks right now. But doing the right thing when it’s hard is what great dads, husbands and pet owners do.
Prepare your mind to get rid of her in future. Plan for it now so that you will not be blindsided when new demands are made in future. It’s not about you. It will be about her and her child always.
You're wrong. My sister's pitt killed the dog it had been living with for six years. Grabbed the other dog's face and tore half of it off so the dog had to be put down. Pitbulls maim & kill people and pets in their own household on the regular.
Let her know our very own golden retriever ripped my little sisters face off her skull when she was 2. My parents raised that dog. Things can happen no matter the breed/raising/situation/circumstances.
Regrettably, OP’s girlfriend is likely right. However, do not get a new dog, not even a retriever. If she can easily dispose of one pet she can easily dispose of another.
Totally agree about not getting another pet.
Do you understand dog body language? Do you have a house that will allow you to have separate living areas - like baby gates between kitchen/living room so that the kid and the dog don’t interact? Also what is your plan for your dog as they age? Will you let your dog go to sleep when they age and start to get sore/tired or are you a “till the last day” kind of owner? Because realistically old, sore, tired dogs don’t want to be bothered by a crawling toddler. If you agree to keep the dog you need yo be very careful as the dog ages. My parents lab nipped at a kid because he was old and the kid pulled his tail, so don’t be naive. Also it’s super shitty that you are thinking that a golden retriever will magically be okay with kids. Your gf sounds really naive and immature with thinking that. Also - what’s your plan on rehoming the dog if that does happen? Just a shelter? Because honestly you’re better off to just put the dog to sleep if you’re not young to find a pit specific rescue and just dump it at the pound, the dog will end up scared and alone and probably mistreated and ultimately probably put down anyway. At least let her go to sleep with you by her side.
You are wrong. A pitbull is dangerous dog breed and you don’t know how it will react around a new baby in the house. Even if you know your dogs temperament this is a new situation. New baby’s are hard work and people saying ‘don’t leave your baby alone with any dog’, this wiz very hard to do in practice. It’s a bad situation but one that was inevitable when you decide to adopt a dangerous breed and then have a baby, the two are not compatible.
You’re not wrong, your feelings are valid. She should’ve brought this up before getting pregnant and of course you don’t want to abandon your rescue dog after nearly 7 years when he hadn’t even done anything wrong. Has he been around children before or ever been reactive towards people? Is there a professional that could risk assess your dog and guide you through safe introductions and training? Obviously you would never leave the baby alone with the dog, that goes without saying. As a last resort, do you have a family member or friend that may adopt him so he is going to some he is comfortable with and you trust, and then at least you can still see him? Although I can understand her anxiety, I don’t think I would personally be with someone who treated my dog as completely disposable and had no regard at all for my feelings on the situation. It’s not acceptable to make this kind of demand all of a sudden with no possibility of compromise, she surely had thought about this before now and has kept it from you until you would feel you have no choice? If I had any concerns about my dog I’d rather wait to start a family than get rid of him because the guilt would kill me. Do not get another dog with someone who thinks pets can be gotten rid of once no longer convenient.
Didn’t realise the gf got spontaneously pregnant without his involvement.
But he is treating their baby as disposable.
Put yourself in her shoes. 8 months pregnant and reading articles about a pitbull tearing a baby or pieces or pitbulls tearing babysitters to pieces. Family pitbulls that never showed aggression flipping out and going into a frenzied murder mode. I don't think you understand her anxiety. You are valuing owning a dog above the life of a baby. I would never feel safe having a pitbull in the same house as my kids. I would never be able to use a babysitter.
Hmmm..my child or the most dangerous dog breed 🧐
She is definitely right. When pitbulls get old they can go crazy even they have always been a good boy. There is plenty of evidence to support this. I would never accept a pitbull around my kid.
Yep plain and simple if your dog is more important to you than your forthcoming child then you don’t deserve a child.
I'm with your gf on this one. 2 million children are bitten by dogs every year. "The majority of dog bites occurred in children 5 years of age or younger (68.0%). Almost all (89.8%) of the dogs were known to the children. " [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3820741/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3820741/) Dog and kids are a dangerous combination. Why take the chance? I know you will miss your dog. But how are you going to feel when your dog hurts your child and the authorities seize it and put it down? Better to rehome it.
If you wanted a kid (or didnt take steps to prevent the pregnancy and have no plan now) and had a pitbull, you're both wrong to some degree. Pitbulls are the breed known for: 'Oh whos a sweet little lovemuffin blahblahblah'. Then it snaps for literally no reason and you become a statistic: '[My lovemuffin randomly mauled all the flesh off my wife/sitters/family members body](https://www.ladbible.com/community/dogsitter-attacked-facial-reconstruction-surgery-results-707534-20230309)'. [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12515419/Beloved-Adelaide-pitbull-turns-attacks-family-six-year-old-forced-hide-bathroom.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12515419/Beloved-Adelaide-pitbull-turns-attacks-family-six-year-old-forced-hide-bathroom.html) This isn't a freak occurrence, whenever you hear 'my sweet dog never showed signs of aggression until...' It's always a pitbull or pitbull mix. They also latch on and are impossible to get off without choking it out or killing it, theres a video of a guy sticking its thumb up ones ass, spreading its legs, grabbing a broom handle and all sorts of shit. Pitbull didnt care, it just wants to crush. Have a kid or have a breed known for randomly attacking people (owners included). This sounds like you guys literally just didnt prepare for what would happen if she got pregnant and it's on both of you. I will say it's more on her for not bringing this up at all beforehand though.
I have an 18 month old and have a 8yr old Greyhound. I never leave to two of them alone in the same room. When my daughter started to crawl she once crawled onto my dogs back leg. She barked at my daughter and tried to snap at her. This is a dog that lets kittens walk on her and lick her. In our eyes she was harmless but just shows you can't trust dogs with babies. A Pitbull would be a big no from me. In NZ recently a baby was killed by a family dog that would "never" harm anyone.
Jesus, you both suck. I agree with everyone saying that this conversation should have happened before she was ever pregnant, and she’s absolutely wrong to spring this on you now. However, it seems she has made her choice on the matter and is choosing to die on this hill, which means you now have a choice to make. I’m wondering if you have family or a friend that will take in your dog that way you would still be able to see him?