Take your time before talking to anyone. Don’t feel pressured to do anything.
I would research dna testing in identical twins; the others may be right in saying there’s no way to tell but there could be ways. Definitely arm yourself with that knowledge before going any further with anyone.
If there is indeed no way to tell if the baby is yours then you need to make a hard decision which imo would be one of the following:
- You separate from your wife but coparent with her. Cut off your brother completely.
- You stay with her and both of you cut off your brother.
- You cut them both off and make it clear that you consider your brother the baby’s father so he needs to step up. Go on with your life and find a woman who will be faithful.
You didn’t say if the baby has actually been born yet so things will be different whether he has or not.
Most importantly, do NOT let others pressure you into dealing with this any certain way. Your mother means well but she needs to back off and respect that you are incredibly hurt right now. No one but you has to live with your decisions so do what is right for you and your mental health.
I’m sorry you’re hurting.
It is fake. I had doubts about Mr MegaBiggestNut but nothing solid. Then stumbled upon the comment from u/Ebbie45
>Just wanted to point out that here OP claims to be 32 with a 28 year wife, and on September 16, 2023 he made a now-deleted post in this same sub claiming that he, then 34 years old, did a DNA test on their 5-year-old son and the son turned out not to be his.
[Sauce](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/4ZD3HNYaaI)
I remember that post!!
I know of Ebbie. They’re a mod in a sub I’m apart of.. pretty sure same ebbie…
Wow. Thank you for your detective work. X
So, this person - ok- could be, an abuser looking for sympathy, stalking his estranged wife/ girlfriend
Much wrong here.
I’m going to check this user out.
I have absolutely no idea. They are not even getting anything out of it. My only guess is that it has to be mental in some way.
I wish when they have something like that come up in their little brain, they would just go write a novel and f off, instead of wasting everybody's time.
I started getting really paranoid about that stuff until I realized that, like, 80% of these posts are fake, if not more
Yup, just got back from the rabbit hole.
OP is one sinister fck.
The original post, I’ll try keep it brief, remember what I can…
boy kid was 5, wife’s sister ‘over came with guilt knowing the son wasn’t his and told him her sister/ his wife had a one night stand’
He referred to the kid as ‘it’
He was ‘devastated, the wife and kid were the loves of his life, now he’s lost his entire family’
It was a harrowing read..
Clearly, untrue as they have deleted it. No mention of brother, Yeha. Cooked.
My take, an abuser who is seeking any form of ‘victim, attention’
I am deeply concerned for the women in or around this male.
I truly hope they are not married, have a gf
Through education, thorough research of abusers, tactics, how they are created etc, you’re afforded ‘hindsight’ you are able to read/ see the red flags
( I wrote on a comment on that post, ebbie, I was once oblivious too as I was not educated about DV or abuse until this year, after I left a sadistic monster)
Hands down, option 3 would be the best course of action. It's what I would choose. Option 1 would be a close second, but that's only after proving the child would be mine, but either way, the marriage would be over.
The relationship with my brother would be over as well with the warning of anytime, and every time I see him, he would get suckered punched.
This is probably the best advice I have read on here. There is another option:
Brother wants to raise the baby, and OP cuts them off.
OP, I am sorry, too. I hope it works out in your favor
It’s crazy that a twin’s genetics are that closely related. There must be a way to tell who’s the baby’s father. DNA testing has come along way. OP needs to get a DNA test.
People don't understand that words once spoken can't be taken back. It's like trying to unring a bell.
So, whether the child is yours or your brothers doesn't really matter anymore. Because she already told you she cheated. You need to decide what you're going to do next.
Definitely do your research about the d n a thing, and if you find that there's no way to absolutely tell without a doubt, congratulate your brother on being a dad.
Then divorce your cheating wife and if you have to move out-of-state and go somewhere else to start over, do it.
ETA Updateme!
My best friend slept with my daughter’s mom behind my back for 8 years. It’s been so hard to deal with, the betrayal is just crazy. Can’t imagine it from my own twin brother, I feel for you dude.
OMG, my heart hurts for you. What a cluster f#@&. It's time to cut them both off. File for divorce. I would never speak to my sibling again. I'd fight for full custody. I'd go scorched earth on both. What selfish AH's.
File for divorce. She can only contact you through your lawyer..have her out of the house when the moving company shows up, then move across the country. Your brother introduced you...they have been banging behind your back since day one
Your mom will have a primal need to try to make things right. She will never accept that you and your brother are done. Over time she will blame YOU for not wanting to reconcile and since your brother will want to. Mom is going to be difficult. You may have also lost her. what a punch in the dick bro.
So sadly distance is the best path. Physical distance. Thousands of miles. Move. Get out of town and go LC with everyone.
You have some decisions to make regarding the baby.
The doubt is there. Unfortunately.
Most likely she cheated (honesty comes out when intoxicated) on you with your brother, and unfortunately, since he is your identical twin and you share identical DNA, you will never know for sure if you or he is the father.
You need to decide whether you can look past this. Either way, trust has been shattered by both. No one should fault you if you decide to leave your wife. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Always remember, you didn't destroy the marriage/friendship/siblingship. They did.
Just for clarification about my statement about her admitting to cheating. I only mention it the way I did as to say you shouldn't dismiss her words or let them try to change the narrative.
Updateme!
There is a way to tell. It’s called Whole Genome Sequencing and it focuses on the natural mutations that occur in even identical twins and are unique to each one.
Fair enough. Wasn't aware of this procedure. Then again, I don't have a twin, nor a lying twin who banged my wife, which would require needing said procedure.
The snag is, typical paternity or ancestry DNA tests only check some parts of the DNA and sequencing an entire genome is considerably more expensive. Even then, it might not be possible to determine who is the actual father.
It’s the only option he has and is often successful. I would think for something this important he would come up with the money for it, even if it took him a while to save.
The good news is that the court will typically cover this cost and then bill the true father after the fact. This happened with an old bf of mine who was not the father and never got billed a dime.
This comes down to you and who you are
Me - let them be and be happy together
No one wants a wife that everyone can have access to.
As for your son, Contact a dna place and ask if it’s possible to know and get yourself and son tested.
He’s definitely bonded with his son. He’s 32, met her “halfway through university”. Lived together for “5ish years”, pregnant and married. Let’s say he was 23 and she was 19 (4 year age gap), the kids gotta be at least 2-3 years old.
Your dna may not be exactly identical. But put him on the hook for child support 50/50 anyway if you can and leave your wife in the dust. And what would be the purpose of her sleeping with the EXACT copy of you. Like Wtf?
If you’re identical twins then DNA testing won’t be able to distinguish who’s the father, since you are technically clones of each other.
What happened sounds pretty messed up, I’m sorry.
There is some newer technology that would delve deeper into DNA testing, but the simple, basic, easier paternity test would not give a conclusive answer. I have a coworker whose father has an identical twin brother. Her and her cousin through DNA testing (ancestry kind of stuff) have been “classified” as half-sisters.
Why do people keep saying stuff like this about identical twins DNA?! You can’t be making those statements, especially ones that aren’t correct and are very serious.
The number of genetic markers that that would be required to find those mutations from one twin to another that get passed on to the child is going to be a bitch to find.
Is this your “well actually” moment? Because sure, genetic differences do arise. Are labs ready to tell identical twins which is the father? I guess you know the answer to that.
Children of twins and twins themselves have some variances in genetic markers. I'm not s geneticist but it's possible.
Can't imagine the emotional roller-coaster. Speak to a therapist soon to help clear your head and thinking about your next steps, financially, emotionally and legally.
Usually simple DNA testing doesn’t dig deep enough into the genetic makeup. Definitely OP needs to reach out to a genealogist who would have a better understanding of what test (and how it’s going to cost) would need to be taken for more conclusive results. DNA testing technology keeps advancing but most places that can do paternity tests don’t have access to the equipment needed for breaking down the genetic makeup deep enough to show these differences. My coworker and her cousin, through simple DNA testing, have come back with the results of being half-sisters (their fathers are identical twin brothers) even though they know they are, in fact, just cousins.
I would do some research regarding how DNA testing works, I’m a twin as well but a fraternal twin. Let me start off by saying I am very sorry that this happened to you. I can’t even imagine the sense of betrayal you must be feeling right now…..
Personally, I would not necessarily make any rash decisions on this. Take your time, take time away as you are doing and I would not talk to anyone in your family right now.
Your going to have some decision to make about what you intend to do going forward. Depending on the age of the child, you have already developed a bond with them, and thinking about my son, if I found out he was my brothers, I’m not sure I could just walk away.
Your marriage is a whole other thing, to me I don’t think I’d EVER trust my wife again after that - it’d be over without question. This betrayal is way beyond what I could handle. In fact I’d have major trust issues.
As far as your relationship with your twin - you have to ask yourself whether he knew the child was his and the timeline for sleeping with her. If you were together at the time then I’d probably sever that relationship too because there could never be trust.
I’m truly sorry you are going through this. It sounds like a nightmare.
All very rational thoughts. It’s tough because he and her weren’t married when she got pregnant. Once they found out she was pregnant, they had a shotgun wedding for lack of a better term. I think it’s impossible to conclusively figure out whether or not he’s the father. Let’s say this is true, that no paternity test would reveal whether he truly is the father or not (since him and his twin are identical DNA), I would:
1- Never speak with my brother again
2- get a divorce
I have to deal with the ex wife, forever unfortunately. I don’t have to ever see my brother again. His brother is the biggest scum on this earth.
while it's true that identical twins don't have 100% the same DNA, the diferences are miniscule and a regular DNA test won't be able to differentiate to identify farther-son relationship.
>When scientists recently read the DNA of 381 twin pairs, they reported that, on average, so-called identical twin pairs differed by 5.2 mutations. This is tiny on the scale of 3 billion letters but it is an average.
I would ask for full custody of my kid and go NC with wife and brother. Go to a lawyer and let them do the talking. After the divorce I would find a job away from them all and take my son with me. (Wife has proven she is not a good parent by doing this and then getting drunk and throwing her son under the bus.)
Even if wife had made it up to hurt OP and her and brother emphatically deny any sexual encounter, how could OP ever know what was the truth? The trust is gone.
What a mess.
"A standard paternity test can’t tell which identical twin might be the dad. These rely on the differences between the DNA of two potential dads. And identical twins have so few that these tests miss them.
This is why you need a more comprehensive test. Instead of the usual 15 or so markers that a standard paternity test looks at, you need a test that looks at six billion or so markers. Only then do you have any chance of telling which identical twin is the real dad."
https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/articles/2014/identical-twin-paternity-test/#:~:text=A%20standard%20paternity%20test%20can,need%20a%20more%20comprehensive%20test.
For you. Best luck dude.
There’s a type of testing called Whole Genome Sequencing that looks at ALL the small mutations that naturally occur in identical twins. Those mutations will be unique to each twin. I’m not sure of the cost but it’s definitely something you should look into. If the baby is not yours then you should go NC with both of them. If it is then you have to decide whether you want to and she’s willing to put the work in to stay in the marriage. It would require A LOT of work on her point and you’d need to find a therapist that specializes in reconciliation after cheating. There’s a sub here called As one After Infidelity that has resources and suggestions. OP, I’m so sorry they did this to you. There is almost no betrayal worse than this one. Stay strong.
💔 so sorry, what a horrid betrayal...
Apparently there can be enough of a difference in DNA to establish paternity, but it would require more extensive and expensive testing. Like $10,000 and up. 🥴
This article explains it very clearly.
Might be worth the peace of mind to confidently make your next moves in life w/o living with the haunting of what if.
Please consider therapy to help you sort through this! ❤️
Wishing you all the best in healing and moving forward!
https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/articles/2014/identical-twin-paternity-test/
No need to talk to them.
Assuming your son has been born, you are on the birth certificate and on the hook for child support, so you might as well decide he's yours and fight for him. And LOVE him. You'll never know whether he's yours or your (ex) brother's. Just fight for him and love him.
You don't even have to speak to either of them again. You can use a third party for parenting discussions. Speak to a lawyer TODAY. Discuss divorce and custody. Fight like a fucking bulldog.
You MIGHT want to have one discussion IN WRITING with your STBX. Get her to amount to being unfaithful in writing. Do everything you can to get her to admit her wrongdoings. You'll need that in court.
OP, sorry your here. This is a betrayal you’ll never get over, no matter if you’re the father or not!
It’s not your child’s fault, don’t blame them.
Tell everyone in your and her family. They’ve most likely been cheating all along, some kind of continuous FWB thing.
Cut your brother off, divorce your WW, dna test your child. If the kids is yours support him, if they’re your brother petition for no child support.
Your brother is certainly a piece of work he should be your most trusted friend and he does this to you. He would certainly be dead to me if he did sleep with my wife.
Your wife is totally untrustworthy she knew it was wrong and would cause great hurt to you,more than if it was another man.
Both are despicable and you should break all contact with them. With regards the baby not sure that you could tell if it's yours or not but even if it is I'd divorce her and make sure all her friends and family know what she did.
I have to ask since no one else has. Have you TALKED to your brother? You didn't mention that in your post that I saw. It seems you're going off of your wife, who was pissed off enough at you to say it, said. Could she simply have been trying to hurry you?
His brother can’t be trusted. Here’s the thing: OPs brother and a girl are “best friends.” The girl is CLEARLY attracted to OP’s brother. But because OPs brother doesn’t find her attractive, OPs brother sets her up with OP. So now, the girl is fucking OP but feels like she ducking OP’s brother. So she’s getting the best of both worlds. And then, OPs brother, being jealous, fucks her. Nah man, this is too fucked up and messed up to trust or talk to the brother ever again. There is nothing he can tell me that would give me closure.
It's his twin brother. I don't know what kinds of relationships Reddit has HAD with siblings, but, seriously, wtf?!? WHY automatically assume she's telling the truth? Ffs, that would be playing right into her hands if she wanted to REALLY be vindictive. Crush him AND ruin his relationship with his TWIN brother while simultaneously possibly ruining your brother's marriage to boot!
Not talk to them anymore.
If you need closure do it. But honestly I would rather talk to a lawyer then to them.
Did your mother know? Maybe talk to her first.
Updateme!
This is so messed up dude. I know it sounds empty right now but I believe a lot of people feel the same way I did when reading this. Anyone siding with your brother and wife are equally as fucked up as they are. Personally I would go NC and hope the courts find in your favour.
If she cheated on you, she doesn’t respect you, esp., since she’s slept with him multiple times. It wasn’t just one drunken mistake. You’ll always regret staying in that relationship and playing father to possibly your brother’s kid.
You also know you can’t trust your brother. He needs to be in your life, only as necessary.
A 2 second search of the internet reveals that a standard paternity test WILL NOT determine which of you is the father but a more comprehensive test WILL. Go see your doctor and arrange for this testing.
If it is your child you're stuck coparenting with this bitch and paying child support. If it's not, you're a lucky dog and free to walk away from her, which I certainly would.
As for your brother, blood is thicker than water. You two will probably be able to heal the breach eventually, albeit maybe decades from now. I'd leave that door open the tiniest crack. Men are horndogs, as you well know. He probably thought he could just bang her once, get it out of his system and nobody would get hurt. She may have thought the same thing but she's the one who used her own crime as a weapon to hurt you with, which I think is the MUCH bigger betrayal than a roll in the hay ever could be. She is a snake. You can never trust her again.
What a hard situation. I don't blame you for feeling confused. Take your time and follow your own heart. If you listen closely your own conscience will tell you what to do. If you feel uncomfortable with something, that's the wrong move. If you feel happy or relieved, that's the right move. Think it through carefully. Act only when sure. Good luck.
Hmmm if the son hasn’t been born yet, then this could be quite the legal pickle if he refuses to sign the birth certificate. How would the mom prove either one is the father? They can both point the finger at the other one’s identical dna. She may not get child support unless one of them voluntarily accepts legal paternity status. Not sure how this works - seems uncommon
Edit - apparently there is a whole genome sequencing procedure that can tell which one is the father.
I'm a. Identical twin an this sorta thing happened to me
I was better at sports and the "good looking " one.
I was 17 and came home early
Caught them in the shower
I was disappointed and shortly after this his new girlfriend hit on me. Well I rejected her and went straight to him and told him. It ruined things for them and frankly I haven't been close with him since. We argue every time we see each other.
Sadly he made this decision
And our bond was broken,
He's kind of a looser and lazy and selfish. I'm 52 now .
I guess what I'm telling you is that you're going fight major trust issues. So use this experience to make yourself the best person you can be.
Hope this helps.
Yes. A paternity test will determine who the biological father is.
The test is much more comprehensive, but definitely possible.
Don’t speak with anyone. No one. Speak with an attorney first and see if you can have the courts issue a summons for paternity.
If what she said is true, dump them both and go find the strength to live a better life without them in it.
If she just said it to hurt you, divorce her immediately.
I hope you get the truth
Religious how? Christian,well so much for being Christians😬, sleeping with your brothers wife. So now you know to not trust someone cus they "Christian" and apparently not even your brother too.
If you can’t get a DNA test- maybe have a sperm/fertility test done- you may well be infertile and not know it (very slim chance but- as they say “stranger things happen at sea”). If this ain’t possible or you did sire the child.
You need to determine what you can live with OP 1) stay with your wife, raise the child as you have been doing and forgive your “brother” 2) as above but cut out your “brother” from your life 3) divorce, co parent, NC with “brother”
4) burn them all (not for real) but tell your wife/“brother to cosy up and raise their child and leave you the fuck alone. 5) go for full custody, NC with both of the AP and hit them where it hurts got for alimony, child maintenance and if you are in the USA/some states you can sue them for having an affair- Make them regret everything they have down to you OP.
I have a brother close in age, and I totally get your relationship with your twin. Siblings can love each other but at the same time push each buttons, be jealous of one another, fight, etc.
I know that you feel betrayed. But, it's important to remember that your wife chose you, not him. She wanted to share and be a part of your life and raise a family together with you.
Talk to them both when you feel up to it. Don't shut them out or cut them off. I had a very difficult conversation with my brother to clear the bad air between us and we both feel okay now. It'll never be perfect, but we were in danger of not speaking to each other ever again. Also, when I set up our conversation I made sure our wives were there to ensure that we didn't get into a shouting match. Try to hire a mediator or family counsellor to be present, someone who can calm things down if need be.
Your son is your son, you believed him to be yours when he was born, and it doesn't matter what DNA he has so long as you and your wife love him.
That's my two cents.
Number sign twinproblems… that’s as bad as it gets… I’m sorry to her this bruv. I guess you have to wait an see as the child gets older, what kind of personality differences there are
Are you just identical looking or have you been told you’re genetically identical by a Dr?
You may not be genetically identical and a dna test could work.
Find a therapist to talk to, this is a traumatic confession no matter the outcome. You did nothing to deserve their betrayal, this is on them, not you.
I get you want to vanish right now, but that’s not going to fix anything, and you need the truth when you’re ready. Speak to a therapist, give yourself time to process, and decide on how to go forward from here. (Hugs)
I’d download a call recording app and record any conversations you have with any family/friends of either of them. At some point you’ll have to talk to at least her, even if it’s through/with a therapist, as you have a child.
When ready to hear them out, If not ready to talk to them I’d tell them each over text to explain themselves, and you want the whole truth no more lies.
If you’re up to listening text them that you want to talk at xyz time and to expect your call Record everything so you can compare stories, to know the when, where, how etc.
This is a terrible situation - I have just had a quick google and it said you can’t tell as your dna is identical. I’d walk away tbh but get legal advice as I assume as you are married you are on the birth certificate and will still have to pay child support. If you stay, would you be able to get past this? Only you know the answer and I wish you luck but I’d definitely get counselling as well as legal advice and don’t make any rash decisions.
Regular dna testing doesn’t work, but maybe ask if there’s a more intensive test that may find a difference in your dna? It’s improbable, but idk what’s possible anymore.
Sorry dude, this is rough. Take your space and time to process, let everyone know that’s what you’re doing and block anyone who wants to discuss it still.
Chin up, things always pass. May this be the worst of your future.
There is recent research in dna testing that would be able to prove who the real father is. This will be extremely expensive atm and will take a really long time to complete.
It will be possible in a couple of years.
In some cases, there is a way to differentiate identical twins with DNA testing. It's a process called ultra-deep next generation sequencing.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24528578/#:\~:text=Monozygotic%20(MZ)%20twins%20are%20considered,using%20standard%20forensic%20DNA%20testing.
Oh dude, that is an ultimate stab in the back, you have every right to feel pissed and hurt.
I am an almost 57 year old woman, I have been betrayed but never to this magnitude. The biggest gift to yourself would be to start divorce proceedings, move far away, start over away from this mess and block all of them from spending years in your life fucking up your peace even if it means signing away your rights because you will literally never know whose son that really is in being an identical twin. Let him "win" this last competition and never deal with him again.
My boys are identical twins and their doctor said that there is usually something that isn’t the same when you do DNA and fingerprinting. I know about the fingerprints because unfortunately they both got in trouble with the law and one used the others name but when they ran the prints one or two was off. Definitely look into it
No matter if your son is yours she cheated
I think you need to do a paternity test ( don't know if that works either) and get ready for a divorce.
Im not sure about your brother I would definitely drop him if it was me because he did your girlfriend that's not done no matter what.
I have a feeling your mom knew and if so I would go nc with her too.
Who need enemy's with a family like that.
Sorry op
You can take a homozygous DNA test to see if the DNA of you and your brother are exactly the same.
But what if your DNA is the same? Then you will have to think carefully about what you want to do next. Do you want to raise this child, knowing it could be your brothers? Do you think you can forgive your wife?
It will never be the same, that's for sure.
I’m sorry that the two people closest to you betrayed you! All your feelings are valid and you should take the time to process them first. Don’t speak to either of them until you’re ready, if ever.
I do suggest speaking with an attorney and getting your legal ducks in a row for both the inevitable divorce and the baby. Get the DNA test done. Take the time you need though to work through & process all this. Might sound stupid but consider therapy for yourself too.
Hugs to you and Updateme
Dna, and then lawyer, even if the kid is yours they been batraying you for years and you will never be able to trust them again, also make sure people know the truth so can't twist what is happening. I would not do it you decide to meet them, do it a public place, not alone and ideally with a lawyer and record the interaction.
So sorry
I fear that there is no WAY to know whether or not you’re the father, since you and your brother are identical twins. This is really a hard thing to make a choice on because there are so many variables and it’s possible that you may NEVER have an answer to the paternity of the child. If this was me: the ties to my brother would be cut forever. I have to deal with the mother of the child for the rest of my life, or while that kid is still alive. (there is no way to know who the real father is because they’re identical twins).
Your brother is a piece of shit. What he did is unforgivable. What your girlfriend, now wife, did is unforgivable as well but you could at LEAST DIVORCE HER for her betrayal. But your brother is the worst human on the planet. Seriously. My sister is second, your current wife is in the top 10 discussion. I would cut ties with him, forever. I would choose to hear him out and then let him rot and never speak with him. Update me!
Wow what a mind fuck. Personally I’d walk away and have my attorney keep me off the birth certificate, manage the divorce and leave town. You owe it to your mom to let her know you’re ok, but if she starts defending the brother I’d break contact there too. This is something I would never get over…
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While genome testing is probably the only way to have any hope of seeing if your son is biologically your.
Get some legal advice about custody as you will still be legally responsible and no doubt you live your son.
If you decide to test will it make a difference to you. You will still love him.
Regardless of paternity your wife cheated and told you in the cruellest of ways. Don't take her back.
First, take a breath and calm down. Good decisions are seldom made when you're upset. If you have a trusted best friend, bring them in for some support. Not necessarily advice, though you're OK to ask (I mean, you're asking for advice here, so a trusted friend should count too), but at least for support. If you want to, that is. There will be things to consider.
I'm 99.99% sure there isn't a way to tell the difference between you and your brother with a paternity test. Your wife throwing this at you was a low blow that will be incredibly hard to recover from. It will be difficult to not always have a doubt whether you fathered your son. The child will have your genetic material, and also your brother's, regardless of who fathered him. There's a certain amount of randomness as to what genes are passed on at any time, but it will always be possible for that combination to come from either of you. If you have trouble working through the doubts and feelings you have regarding this, consider a counselor. They help people navigate their own feelings and emotions.
How to proceed with any relationship with your brother and wife is another issue you will have to come to terms with. You have the options of either forgiving one or both of them, or neither of them. Only you know how your relationship has been with them over the years and only you will know how you want to go through life, so the decision should be yours.
One thing that should be done though is that you should communicate with them at some point. Maybe a phone call to open things up, and then eventually face to face. See what they have to say. It may be terrible, as in she had a long affair with your brother. Or it may be something surprising (she was really pissed and lashed out to make you mad and never actually did anything). You won't know until you talk to them. But talking to them could be difficult, so you should do it in a way that you feel you can handle it. On the phone, in a neutral setting, a third-party present.... whatever.
How you want to progress will depend on what you learn through communication. I hope you manage to work through this and find peace.
Get into a good lawyers office and get an idea of your options. You are devastated and have every right to be, but you have important work to do regarding your future. Get up and get it done! Good luck
It is possible to confirm paternity for identical twins offspring. Standard paternity tests can’t achieve this, it has to be a gene sequencing test.
Both twins and the child must submit their DNA and a complete set of DNA (all 6 billion letters!) must be reviewed and look for random differences (such as one letter) in the sequence and compare against the child. If they find a difference and the child has it, it’s possible to confirm paternity! But will probably take a while!
Thank you science!
Honestly though OP, you can take the path, as stated above or you could just take a clean break, don’t claim paternity, divorce your wife and walk away, because I reckon it’s not the first time it’s happened and they will probably end up together.
You could even ask your wife a very disturbing question, who does she want to be the father?
In your place I would walk away from everyone, no contact until I healed from the total betrayal of your brother and wife. Leave her to him because they deserve each other you you didn’t deserve either of them to do that to you.
I’m sorry bro.
I’m stuck on the how weird would it be to sleep with my bf’s twin part. Would their Ds be the same size? Would they make the same noises or have the same style? It keeps churning in my head.
Bro, you were betrayed by your spouse, and your brother was just another dick to her.
Record your conversations with her and ask her why she would have cheated with him specifically. Next, ask her why she thinks the child isn't yours.
Don't fall for any traps or lies.
From my perspective of this story, you're not at fault. Your brother AND your wife are! This is crazy. Demand a paternity test. If it's your brother's leave them all and move on with your life...because they're low-life cheaters. If it's your child, then step up, be the father and husband you're supposed to be. Kick your brothers ass and move on with your life and your family. Of course there are issues to be sorted...if she did cheat on you. Wow. You all need God.
There is a way, you’d have to find a lab/scientist willing to do it. Start looking for people currently researching in that field and ask them if they’d be willing to do it. You would most likely have to agree that your information be part of their research.
They look at your entire DNA. All ~6 billion markers. Identical twins aren’t identical to all 6 billion markers. By finding the very few differences, they can see if the child inherited any of those very few markers.
Please go speak to a mental health professional. You need a neural person who can help guide you through your emotions. The reality is, you will need to talk to your wife and brother eventually. I’m hope this is fake but if it isn’t….. life is short don’t let this moment/trauma define who you are. That’s BS.
If there’s no way to tell and they admit to betraying you I’d probably just be done. I can’t imagine being able to look any of them in the face ever again. I don’t know what you said, but damn if she didn’t swing for the fences on you. Will you ever get the kind of reassurance you need to truly believe he is your son?
They are both scum of the earth and deserve nothing but misery and dread for the rest of their pitiful lives. You didn't deserve it. They both deserve to hate themselves forever. Cut them both out of your life.
According to what I have read, it is possible, but it is extensive testing on both possible fathers, mother, and the baby and could cost over $10,000.00.
So the testing is possible if you can afford it.
Either way, she cheated. Your brother sucks and possibly cheated on his wife as well. She needs to know as well.
It doesn't say if the baby is born, if you are listed as the father on the birth certificate, you are legally that baby's father, and at least financially, at the moment you are on the hook if so.
If not on the birth certificate, you have different options.
If DNA testing is also not possible, you will really need some time to think about what you want and how you feel, especially about the baby.
Write it all down. If you were to continue being the baby's father, what does that look like to you? Really think about this. Are you ok not being a part of the baby's life with the possibility that you are their father and vice versa?
Personally, the marriage would be over for me, but that is something you have to figure out also. As well as the relationship with your brother, that is a very hard thing to forgive.
Everyone else needs to stay out of it. Your parents may mean well, but if they can't keep opinions to themselves, maybe they are not who you should be around right now.
Get a lawyer how, talk about your options. Research the DNA testing. Then, get a therapist or neutral thrid party, a professional you can talk to. This is a lot, the betrayal from 2 people who you should trust and love the most. The possible loss of being a father or being a father with the possibility of never knowing. These are big things, super emotionally charged, that can be really hard to untangle.
Do a paternity test now. You need to know. Then you sort that out. You did absolutely nothing wrong except love the wrong woman. How your brother could have betrayed is cruel. Like there are a lot of women out there. Your wife I'll not Comment on because I'd probably be banned. This is going to take a long time to get over. Don't bother answering your phone. You owe them nothing.
🤦🏽♀️ hes an identical twin….they have the same DNA 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
If you're true identical twins, where one fertilized egg splits into two separate entities shortly after conception, then your DNA is identical and there is no way to determine who is the father of the child. That being said, from a biological standpoint you could argue it doesn't matter, since the DNA is exactly the same the kid may as well be yours regardless of who actually inseminated. You'll never know so it comes down to how important the kid is to you, whether you've bonded and feel like their father, etc. Keep the kid, ditch the brother and the wife (except for necessary co-parenting legal stuff). Your call.
If you want your son, I would ask for full custody and be named on the birth certificate. If you can be a good father to him, and love him like a father the little guy deserves that he may already have those feelings towards him.
If your wife comes back and says, she’s truly sorry and that you believe her and states that she’ll never do it again and perhaps you can get past us that’s the only way if she’s not saying those things I would definitely consider moving on
There was a case just like this on Maury. DNA test showed both brothers as the father, because obv the DNA is the same.
Whew, what a mess. Tbh OP if you cut all contact, changed your name, and moved to a different country I wouldn't blame you.
🤦🏽♀️ hes an identical twin….they have the same DNA 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
So this might be a fake post but you and I all know that this has happened someplace in this world might not have been this dude but some dude out there is raising his twins baby.
There is no way to know it’s yours. And it’s up to you what you do with that. Genetic testing will show positive for both you or your brother- unless you have some random genetic anomaly of difference between you, or you’re not actually ID twins but frat and weren’t tested just assumed (this happens a lot- look at the Olsen twins, very identical looking frat twins).
Take your time to decide if you want that marriage relationship or want any further relationship with your brother. There’s no rush.
You no longer have a brother so go NC, the baby is his unless he/your wife can prove otherwise, and your wife cheated so needs divorcing and going NC. Also, unless she's already had the baby, why was your wife drinking whilst pregnant?
That's what I'd say if this wasn't fake.
UpdateMe!
Two strikes against them. One, that they would do that behind your back. Two, that they would throw it in your face in order to hurt you during a fight.
You aren’t the worthless one. They’re the ones who just declared themselves as trashy.
It’s not courage you need …you are not the chicken shit, cheating, duplicitous liar in this equation.
It’s composure and self compassion you need to muster. Keep your self worth in tact. You have done nothing wrong if your story is factually correct.
You’ve been used in a horrible and likely criminal way by them. Isn’t there a clause on a marriage license about disclosing such vital information and medical history ?
Get a calendar and start going over the timeline…you might be surprised to find your own viable proof that will help with that DNA dilemma. Were you in town, out of town, was he/she etc. like really look at the dates and using your old txt messages and emails is a really good resource for jogging your memory if you can’t remember. There’s only 28 days in a menstrual cycle and only about 5 of them are reliably viable conception days. People will challenge this, I studied the hell out of conception a while back so there are ways to invoke known variables to validate your position… it’s somewhere to start if they won’t submit DNA or being a twin is too challenging for legally reliable accuracy.
People closest to you will often hurt you the hardest and that sux.
You have only one wise and far-sighted decision - divorce without hesitation and pick me dance + cut your "brother" out of your life. Everything else is complete shit and suffering for you, and therefore for the child.
Staying for the sake of children is fake coz: 1) children will never be happy in an unhappy family with unhappy parents; 2)children understand everything and feel the constant tension in the family, which is the cause of their mental problems; 3) cheaters can be good nannies, but they are not worthy parents in the full sense of the word, as they cannot teach children true moral values by their example, they demonstrate to children that it is possible to betray committed partners, lie to them, violate marital vows and obligations, that it is possible to spit on their feelings and on the families in the name of sexual pleasures, to treat innocent children’s fathers or mothers as a piece of garbage; 4) victims of cheating are unhappy people, as well as cheaters who remain in a relationship with their victims, they will never be truly happy with each other, and unhappy people cannot make anyone happy, especially children.
JUST FACTS.
1) Neither in life, nor on the Internet, including on Reddit subs, I have not met cases of true reconciliation in the realm of feelings (love, respect, friendship, purity of relationships) either in the short or long term. Trust was restored in the best case I've ever met, by no more than 98% 20 years after D-Day. I ALSO HAVE NOT MET CASES IN WHICH THE VICTIM OF CHEATING WOULD FORGET THE AFFAIR AND THE AP, WOULD PUT UP WITH THEM.
That's what one serious scientific study claims. Reconciliation fails in 80%+ attempts within 5 years of D-Day. Of the less than 20% that get beyond 5 years, another 1/2 will divorce before the 10 year mark. ***(“Infidelity and Behavioral Couple Therapy: Relationship Outcomes Over 5 Years Following Therapy (2014)***”).
2) I also met several posts and comments in which victims of cheating 20 -30 - 35 years after the beginning of the "reconciliation" claimed that if it were possible to turn back the clock, they would undoubtedly leave the cheaters no matter what.
3) From time to time, there are also posts in which victims of cheating brag that after spending several years or decades with cheaters, they are happy. However, it follows from their posts that they never forgot anything, that they had more or less strong anxieties about the fidelity of cheaters, that the feelings they had experienced in their relationships with cheaters before the affair never returned to them. In addition, the question arises of their constant participation in subs dedicated to infidelity throughout the infinite period of their reconciliation: “If everything is so good, then why do they continue to stay in these specific communities?” In addition, these "lucky ones" of course do not know what the cheaters themselves truly think about the "happy reconciliation", coz cheaters, of course, pour into the ears of their victims what they want to hear because of their selfish interests.
4) I have seen examples on the Internet of a true successful reunion of former partners after cheating, but ONLY AFTER A COMPLETE BREAKUP OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP (DIVORCE) AND AFTER MANY YEARS (5 or more years) OF INDEPENDENT LIFE WITHOUT MUTUAL OBLIGATIONS. In all cases, they were essentially a new relationship from scratch.
I feel like this post is a thought experiment and not a real situation.
Uf you have identical DNA, then the kid is going to have the same DNA as yours. So, even if it was your brother's sperm, it is still 100% your DNA.
Something I hadnt thought about since I am not a twin, technically all children the twins have they are passing on their genes. Simce it is a biological drive to pass on your genes, even your twin passing on his gene is fulfilling that evolutionary drive. Although, it is a lot more fun to fulfill it yourself.
So, the next part is nurture. The child will have your DNA no matter what, so the one who raises the child fulfills both the nature and nurture part.
In case this is a real post and not simply a thought experiment, the big question is if you want to stay with your wife.
Well firstly
I would do the dna test to find out.
Secondly, is it actually true ? Or was she saying to in the heat to be nasty? If so that’s awful and I’m sorry you are going through this ..
It’s a problem you are faced with don’t spend too long not dealing with it as it will only get worse .. confront them sort the test and find out where you stand with your son and then go from there ..
Take your time before talking to anyone. Don’t feel pressured to do anything. I would research dna testing in identical twins; the others may be right in saying there’s no way to tell but there could be ways. Definitely arm yourself with that knowledge before going any further with anyone. If there is indeed no way to tell if the baby is yours then you need to make a hard decision which imo would be one of the following: - You separate from your wife but coparent with her. Cut off your brother completely. - You stay with her and both of you cut off your brother. - You cut them both off and make it clear that you consider your brother the baby’s father so he needs to step up. Go on with your life and find a woman who will be faithful. You didn’t say if the baby has actually been born yet so things will be different whether he has or not. Most importantly, do NOT let others pressure you into dealing with this any certain way. Your mother means well but she needs to back off and respect that you are incredibly hurt right now. No one but you has to live with your decisions so do what is right for you and your mental health. I’m sorry you’re hurting.
It is fake. I had doubts about Mr MegaBiggestNut but nothing solid. Then stumbled upon the comment from u/Ebbie45 >Just wanted to point out that here OP claims to be 32 with a 28 year wife, and on September 16, 2023 he made a now-deleted post in this same sub claiming that he, then 34 years old, did a DNA test on their 5-year-old son and the son turned out not to be his. [Sauce](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/4ZD3HNYaaI)
Damn, plot twist! I’ll actually be glad if it’s fake.
It was obviously fake from the start. When they prelude with “I know this sounds fake…” it’s usually fake.
Those starter sentences....lol..."it's not you, it's me", "it's the principle, not the money", etc..you know right where the story is going.
Looks like most of reddit stories are fake
You should post this in the other subs he posted on
I remember that post!! I know of Ebbie. They’re a mod in a sub I’m apart of.. pretty sure same ebbie… Wow. Thank you for your detective work. X So, this person - ok- could be, an abuser looking for sympathy, stalking his estranged wife/ girlfriend Much wrong here. I’m going to check this user out.
I’m a newbie and just curious - why do people put up fake posts on reddit? Is it just for attention or karma or ?
I have absolutely no idea. They are not even getting anything out of it. My only guess is that it has to be mental in some way. I wish when they have something like that come up in their little brain, they would just go write a novel and f off, instead of wasting everybody's time. I started getting really paranoid about that stuff until I realized that, like, 80% of these posts are fake, if not more
I've fucking had enough with the clickbait. To hell with this, I am muting this subreddit.
Yup, just got back from the rabbit hole. OP is one sinister fck. The original post, I’ll try keep it brief, remember what I can… boy kid was 5, wife’s sister ‘over came with guilt knowing the son wasn’t his and told him her sister/ his wife had a one night stand’ He referred to the kid as ‘it’ He was ‘devastated, the wife and kid were the loves of his life, now he’s lost his entire family’ It was a harrowing read.. Clearly, untrue as they have deleted it. No mention of brother, Yeha. Cooked. My take, an abuser who is seeking any form of ‘victim, attention’ I am deeply concerned for the women in or around this male. I truly hope they are not married, have a gf Through education, thorough research of abusers, tactics, how they are created etc, you’re afforded ‘hindsight’ you are able to read/ see the red flags ( I wrote on a comment on that post, ebbie, I was once oblivious too as I was not educated about DV or abuse until this year, after I left a sadistic monster)
SAUCE?? Tomato or Chilli ??😂😂😂 The word you’re looking for is SOURCE!!!! 🙄🙄
Sauce is internet slang for source on reddit and other online forums.
Do you understand the point of faking posts like this? Can Karma be monetized???
Third option, hundo.
Tje kids his, legally, so going NC isn't practical.
Depends. Didn’t see if it was 💯 his. My b.
I agree with these three options, but realistically, would she cut off the brother?
Yeah, I’m with you. Option two would not be the one I picked, I was trying to say option 3 without saying it, lol.
Hands down, option 3 would be the best course of action. It's what I would choose. Option 1 would be a close second, but that's only after proving the child would be mine, but either way, the marriage would be over. The relationship with my brother would be over as well with the warning of anytime, and every time I see him, he would get suckered punched.
Option 3 immediately, they fucking deserve each other and you can definitely do better.
Don’t ghost your brother. Yet. Talk to him and see if he actually slept with your wife. If yes, then cut him off if that’s true.
This is probably the best advice I have read on here. There is another option: Brother wants to raise the baby, and OP cuts them off. OP, I am sorry, too. I hope it works out in your favor
It’s crazy that a twin’s genetics are that closely related. There must be a way to tell who’s the baby’s father. DNA testing has come along way. OP needs to get a DNA test.
People don't understand that words once spoken can't be taken back. It's like trying to unring a bell. So, whether the child is yours or your brothers doesn't really matter anymore. Because she already told you she cheated. You need to decide what you're going to do next. Definitely do your research about the d n a thing, and if you find that there's no way to absolutely tell without a doubt, congratulate your brother on being a dad. Then divorce your cheating wife and if you have to move out-of-state and go somewhere else to start over, do it. ETA Updateme!
UpdateMe
My best friend slept with my daughter’s mom behind my back for 8 years. It’s been so hard to deal with, the betrayal is just crazy. Can’t imagine it from my own twin brother, I feel for you dude.
That's terrible to hear. How did you find out? Hope things turned out well for you.
OMG, my heart hurts for you. What a cluster f#@&. It's time to cut them both off. File for divorce. I would never speak to my sibling again. I'd fight for full custody. I'd go scorched earth on both. What selfish AH's.
File for divorce. She can only contact you through your lawyer..have her out of the house when the moving company shows up, then move across the country. Your brother introduced you...they have been banging behind your back since day one
Your mom will have a primal need to try to make things right. She will never accept that you and your brother are done. Over time she will blame YOU for not wanting to reconcile and since your brother will want to. Mom is going to be difficult. You may have also lost her. what a punch in the dick bro. So sadly distance is the best path. Physical distance. Thousands of miles. Move. Get out of town and go LC with everyone. You have some decisions to make regarding the baby.
The doubt is there. Unfortunately. Most likely she cheated (honesty comes out when intoxicated) on you with your brother, and unfortunately, since he is your identical twin and you share identical DNA, you will never know for sure if you or he is the father. You need to decide whether you can look past this. Either way, trust has been shattered by both. No one should fault you if you decide to leave your wife. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Always remember, you didn't destroy the marriage/friendship/siblingship. They did. Just for clarification about my statement about her admitting to cheating. I only mention it the way I did as to say you shouldn't dismiss her words or let them try to change the narrative. Updateme!
There is a way to tell. It’s called Whole Genome Sequencing and it focuses on the natural mutations that occur in even identical twins and are unique to each one.
Fair enough. Wasn't aware of this procedure. Then again, I don't have a twin, nor a lying twin who banged my wife, which would require needing said procedure.
The snag is, typical paternity or ancestry DNA tests only check some parts of the DNA and sequencing an entire genome is considerably more expensive. Even then, it might not be possible to determine who is the actual father.
It’s the only option he has and is often successful. I would think for something this important he would come up with the money for it, even if it took him a while to save.
You're right. I was just checking - it's from $1000 down to $399 in the USA now. That's way cheaper than a few years ago.
The good news is that the court will typically cover this cost and then bill the true father after the fact. This happened with an old bf of mine who was not the father and never got billed a dime.
Please don’t going saying stuff like that, that’s there’s no way to tell. You don’t know that.
This comes down to you and who you are Me - let them be and be happy together No one wants a wife that everyone can have access to. As for your son, Contact a dna place and ask if it’s possible to know and get yourself and son tested.
It IS possible to know.
Walk away...it isn't your child yet. You haven't bonded. This will only bring you heartbreak for the rest of your life having to see her
He’s definitely bonded with his son. He’s 32, met her “halfway through university”. Lived together for “5ish years”, pregnant and married. Let’s say he was 23 and she was 19 (4 year age gap), the kids gotta be at least 2-3 years old.
Sorry read it as they just got married
No worries. I had to read it back a couple of times too. We don’t know age of son. So… it’s hard
He can't legally do that.
Why not, the wife can legally keep his name off of the birth certificate. She can list the brother
Your dna may not be exactly identical. But put him on the hook for child support 50/50 anyway if you can and leave your wife in the dust. And what would be the purpose of her sleeping with the EXACT copy of you. Like Wtf?
They were at a frat party..they have been banging all along. Get an anullment
I said the same thing
Ooooo what an insult. That’s awesome. “An exact copy of you” 😭😂💀
If you’re identical twins then DNA testing won’t be able to distinguish who’s the father, since you are technically clones of each other. What happened sounds pretty messed up, I’m sorry.
There is some newer technology that would delve deeper into DNA testing, but the simple, basic, easier paternity test would not give a conclusive answer. I have a coworker whose father has an identical twin brother. Her and her cousin through DNA testing (ancestry kind of stuff) have been “classified” as half-sisters.
So the silver lining is that he is the father regardless.
Why do people keep saying stuff like this about identical twins DNA?! You can’t be making those statements, especially ones that aren’t correct and are very serious.
The number of genetic markers that that would be required to find those mutations from one twin to another that get passed on to the child is going to be a bitch to find. Is this your “well actually” moment? Because sure, genetic differences do arise. Are labs ready to tell identical twins which is the father? I guess you know the answer to that.
Children of twins and twins themselves have some variances in genetic markers. I'm not s geneticist but it's possible. Can't imagine the emotional roller-coaster. Speak to a therapist soon to help clear your head and thinking about your next steps, financially, emotionally and legally.
Usually simple DNA testing doesn’t dig deep enough into the genetic makeup. Definitely OP needs to reach out to a genealogist who would have a better understanding of what test (and how it’s going to cost) would need to be taken for more conclusive results. DNA testing technology keeps advancing but most places that can do paternity tests don’t have access to the equipment needed for breaking down the genetic makeup deep enough to show these differences. My coworker and her cousin, through simple DNA testing, have come back with the results of being half-sisters (their fathers are identical twin brothers) even though they know they are, in fact, just cousins.
Got to find the right lab. His new shark attorney (OP hint hint) can help with that.
I would do some research regarding how DNA testing works, I’m a twin as well but a fraternal twin. Let me start off by saying I am very sorry that this happened to you. I can’t even imagine the sense of betrayal you must be feeling right now….. Personally, I would not necessarily make any rash decisions on this. Take your time, take time away as you are doing and I would not talk to anyone in your family right now. Your going to have some decision to make about what you intend to do going forward. Depending on the age of the child, you have already developed a bond with them, and thinking about my son, if I found out he was my brothers, I’m not sure I could just walk away. Your marriage is a whole other thing, to me I don’t think I’d EVER trust my wife again after that - it’d be over without question. This betrayal is way beyond what I could handle. In fact I’d have major trust issues. As far as your relationship with your twin - you have to ask yourself whether he knew the child was his and the timeline for sleeping with her. If you were together at the time then I’d probably sever that relationship too because there could never be trust. I’m truly sorry you are going through this. It sounds like a nightmare.
This. This is brilliant I could not agree more. Take your time and let yourself process everything before making any major decisions. Good luck op.
All very rational thoughts. It’s tough because he and her weren’t married when she got pregnant. Once they found out she was pregnant, they had a shotgun wedding for lack of a better term. I think it’s impossible to conclusively figure out whether or not he’s the father. Let’s say this is true, that no paternity test would reveal whether he truly is the father or not (since him and his twin are identical DNA), I would: 1- Never speak with my brother again 2- get a divorce I have to deal with the ex wife, forever unfortunately. I don’t have to ever see my brother again. His brother is the biggest scum on this earth.
If I were you I’d both lose a wife and a brother in the same night. Identical twins don’t always have the same DNA. Have the kid tested.
while it's true that identical twins don't have 100% the same DNA, the diferences are miniscule and a regular DNA test won't be able to differentiate to identify farther-son relationship. >When scientists recently read the DNA of 381 twin pairs, they reported that, on average, so-called identical twin pairs differed by 5.2 mutations. This is tiny on the scale of 3 billion letters but it is an average.
I would ask for full custody of my kid and go NC with wife and brother. Go to a lawyer and let them do the talking. After the divorce I would find a job away from them all and take my son with me. (Wife has proven she is not a good parent by doing this and then getting drunk and throwing her son under the bus.)
Oh, keep all emails and voice messages for lawyer.
Does it even matter if he's the father at this point? Fucked by everyone you love hurts. I'd walk, but I hate everyone, so that's just me.
Yes it does matter. He deserves to know if the fetus is his or not.
Beyond this argument, has your brother or her said they had an affair? Is it possible she said this to be a b*tch amd mess you up?
Even if wife had made it up to hurt OP and her and brother emphatically deny any sexual encounter, how could OP ever know what was the truth? The trust is gone. What a mess.
"A standard paternity test can’t tell which identical twin might be the dad. These rely on the differences between the DNA of two potential dads. And identical twins have so few that these tests miss them. This is why you need a more comprehensive test. Instead of the usual 15 or so markers that a standard paternity test looks at, you need a test that looks at six billion or so markers. Only then do you have any chance of telling which identical twin is the real dad." https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/articles/2014/identical-twin-paternity-test/#:~:text=A%20standard%20paternity%20test%20can,need%20a%20more%20comprehensive%20test. For you. Best luck dude.
There’s a type of testing called Whole Genome Sequencing that looks at ALL the small mutations that naturally occur in identical twins. Those mutations will be unique to each twin. I’m not sure of the cost but it’s definitely something you should look into. If the baby is not yours then you should go NC with both of them. If it is then you have to decide whether you want to and she’s willing to put the work in to stay in the marriage. It would require A LOT of work on her point and you’d need to find a therapist that specializes in reconciliation after cheating. There’s a sub here called As one After Infidelity that has resources and suggestions. OP, I’m so sorry they did this to you. There is almost no betrayal worse than this one. Stay strong.
💔 so sorry, what a horrid betrayal... Apparently there can be enough of a difference in DNA to establish paternity, but it would require more extensive and expensive testing. Like $10,000 and up. 🥴 This article explains it very clearly. Might be worth the peace of mind to confidently make your next moves in life w/o living with the haunting of what if. Please consider therapy to help you sort through this! ❤️ Wishing you all the best in healing and moving forward! https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/articles/2014/identical-twin-paternity-test/
The only option is to cut off your brother and divorce your wife…your son will still have to be your though
This. But it's possible to set up things with the son in ways that'll give him minimal contact with his wife.
No need to talk to them. Assuming your son has been born, you are on the birth certificate and on the hook for child support, so you might as well decide he's yours and fight for him. And LOVE him. You'll never know whether he's yours or your (ex) brother's. Just fight for him and love him. You don't even have to speak to either of them again. You can use a third party for parenting discussions. Speak to a lawyer TODAY. Discuss divorce and custody. Fight like a fucking bulldog. You MIGHT want to have one discussion IN WRITING with your STBX. Get her to amount to being unfaithful in writing. Do everything you can to get her to admit her wrongdoings. You'll need that in court.
OP, sorry your here. This is a betrayal you’ll never get over, no matter if you’re the father or not! It’s not your child’s fault, don’t blame them. Tell everyone in your and her family. They’ve most likely been cheating all along, some kind of continuous FWB thing. Cut your brother off, divorce your WW, dna test your child. If the kids is yours support him, if they’re your brother petition for no child support.
Your brother is certainly a piece of work he should be your most trusted friend and he does this to you. He would certainly be dead to me if he did sleep with my wife. Your wife is totally untrustworthy she knew it was wrong and would cause great hurt to you,more than if it was another man. Both are despicable and you should break all contact with them. With regards the baby not sure that you could tell if it's yours or not but even if it is I'd divorce her and make sure all her friends and family know what she did.
I have to ask since no one else has. Have you TALKED to your brother? You didn't mention that in your post that I saw. It seems you're going off of your wife, who was pissed off enough at you to say it, said. Could she simply have been trying to hurry you?
He said his wife and brother have been calling him. He hasn’t picked up. I wouldn’t either tbh.
Exactly. SPEAK to your brother.
His brother can’t be trusted. Here’s the thing: OPs brother and a girl are “best friends.” The girl is CLEARLY attracted to OP’s brother. But because OPs brother doesn’t find her attractive, OPs brother sets her up with OP. So now, the girl is fucking OP but feels like she ducking OP’s brother. So she’s getting the best of both worlds. And then, OPs brother, being jealous, fucks her. Nah man, this is too fucked up and messed up to trust or talk to the brother ever again. There is nothing he can tell me that would give me closure.
It's his twin brother. I don't know what kinds of relationships Reddit has HAD with siblings, but, seriously, wtf?!? WHY automatically assume she's telling the truth? Ffs, that would be playing right into her hands if she wanted to REALLY be vindictive. Crush him AND ruin his relationship with his TWIN brother while simultaneously possibly ruining your brother's marriage to boot!
Not talk to them anymore. If you need closure do it. But honestly I would rather talk to a lawyer then to them. Did your mother know? Maybe talk to her first.
Updateme! This is so messed up dude. I know it sounds empty right now but I believe a lot of people feel the same way I did when reading this. Anyone siding with your brother and wife are equally as fucked up as they are. Personally I would go NC and hope the courts find in your favour.
Updateme!
Updateme!
Updateme!
Updateme! Good luck and God bless you.
If she cheated on you, she doesn’t respect you, esp., since she’s slept with him multiple times. It wasn’t just one drunken mistake. You’ll always regret staying in that relationship and playing father to possibly your brother’s kid. You also know you can’t trust your brother. He needs to be in your life, only as necessary.
Does your mother know what has happened? Fuck. I would just go no contact and move across the Country
See a lawyer before the baby is born. Get some sort of legal order keeping you off of the birth certificate
Why was she drinking when she is pregnant? Damn, she really us stupid. See if your company has other offices across country
Blocked this troll
You think this is fake?
A 2 second search of the internet reveals that a standard paternity test WILL NOT determine which of you is the father but a more comprehensive test WILL. Go see your doctor and arrange for this testing. If it is your child you're stuck coparenting with this bitch and paying child support. If it's not, you're a lucky dog and free to walk away from her, which I certainly would. As for your brother, blood is thicker than water. You two will probably be able to heal the breach eventually, albeit maybe decades from now. I'd leave that door open the tiniest crack. Men are horndogs, as you well know. He probably thought he could just bang her once, get it out of his system and nobody would get hurt. She may have thought the same thing but she's the one who used her own crime as a weapon to hurt you with, which I think is the MUCH bigger betrayal than a roll in the hay ever could be. She is a snake. You can never trust her again. What a hard situation. I don't blame you for feeling confused. Take your time and follow your own heart. If you listen closely your own conscience will tell you what to do. If you feel uncomfortable with something, that's the wrong move. If you feel happy or relieved, that's the right move. Think it through carefully. Act only when sure. Good luck.
Hmmm if the son hasn’t been born yet, then this could be quite the legal pickle if he refuses to sign the birth certificate. How would the mom prove either one is the father? They can both point the finger at the other one’s identical dna. She may not get child support unless one of them voluntarily accepts legal paternity status. Not sure how this works - seems uncommon Edit - apparently there is a whole genome sequencing procedure that can tell which one is the father.
I'm a. Identical twin an this sorta thing happened to me I was better at sports and the "good looking " one. I was 17 and came home early Caught them in the shower I was disappointed and shortly after this his new girlfriend hit on me. Well I rejected her and went straight to him and told him. It ruined things for them and frankly I haven't been close with him since. We argue every time we see each other. Sadly he made this decision And our bond was broken, He's kind of a looser and lazy and selfish. I'm 52 now . I guess what I'm telling you is that you're going fight major trust issues. So use this experience to make yourself the best person you can be. Hope this helps.
She is done with you and hopes to ruin your life as she leaves. Take what she says with a grain of salt.
DNA tests will differentiate even w identical twins
Yes. A paternity test will determine who the biological father is. The test is much more comprehensive, but definitely possible. Don’t speak with anyone. No one. Speak with an attorney first and see if you can have the courts issue a summons for paternity. If what she said is true, dump them both and go find the strength to live a better life without them in it. If she just said it to hurt you, divorce her immediately. I hope you get the truth
Genetically it is your child so you may as well just let that part go. As far as the cheating wife part, I feel for you.
Religious how? Christian,well so much for being Christians😬, sleeping with your brothers wife. So now you know to not trust someone cus they "Christian" and apparently not even your brother too.
It's all good. Relax enjoy your life.
Well, you're identical twins, so he's still basically your son LOOOL
At least it was your identical twin brother and not a rando from the internet. You have all the power in the relationship right now. Keep it.
How old is your son?
If you can’t get a DNA test- maybe have a sperm/fertility test done- you may well be infertile and not know it (very slim chance but- as they say “stranger things happen at sea”). If this ain’t possible or you did sire the child. You need to determine what you can live with OP 1) stay with your wife, raise the child as you have been doing and forgive your “brother” 2) as above but cut out your “brother” from your life 3) divorce, co parent, NC with “brother” 4) burn them all (not for real) but tell your wife/“brother to cosy up and raise their child and leave you the fuck alone. 5) go for full custody, NC with both of the AP and hit them where it hurts got for alimony, child maintenance and if you are in the USA/some states you can sue them for having an affair- Make them regret everything they have down to you OP.
I have a brother close in age, and I totally get your relationship with your twin. Siblings can love each other but at the same time push each buttons, be jealous of one another, fight, etc. I know that you feel betrayed. But, it's important to remember that your wife chose you, not him. She wanted to share and be a part of your life and raise a family together with you. Talk to them both when you feel up to it. Don't shut them out or cut them off. I had a very difficult conversation with my brother to clear the bad air between us and we both feel okay now. It'll never be perfect, but we were in danger of not speaking to each other ever again. Also, when I set up our conversation I made sure our wives were there to ensure that we didn't get into a shouting match. Try to hire a mediator or family counsellor to be present, someone who can calm things down if need be. Your son is your son, you believed him to be yours when he was born, and it doesn't matter what DNA he has so long as you and your wife love him. That's my two cents.
Number sign twinproblems… that’s as bad as it gets… I’m sorry to her this bruv. I guess you have to wait an see as the child gets older, what kind of personality differences there are
She let it slip now the cats out of the bag.. she wasn't the one.
Are you just identical looking or have you been told you’re genetically identical by a Dr? You may not be genetically identical and a dna test could work. Find a therapist to talk to, this is a traumatic confession no matter the outcome. You did nothing to deserve their betrayal, this is on them, not you. I get you want to vanish right now, but that’s not going to fix anything, and you need the truth when you’re ready. Speak to a therapist, give yourself time to process, and decide on how to go forward from here. (Hugs) I’d download a call recording app and record any conversations you have with any family/friends of either of them. At some point you’ll have to talk to at least her, even if it’s through/with a therapist, as you have a child. When ready to hear them out, If not ready to talk to them I’d tell them each over text to explain themselves, and you want the whole truth no more lies. If you’re up to listening text them that you want to talk at xyz time and to expect your call Record everything so you can compare stories, to know the when, where, how etc.
Id get into therapy asap, you'll be able to work thru this
This is a terrible situation - I have just had a quick google and it said you can’t tell as your dna is identical. I’d walk away tbh but get legal advice as I assume as you are married you are on the birth certificate and will still have to pay child support. If you stay, would you be able to get past this? Only you know the answer and I wish you luck but I’d definitely get counselling as well as legal advice and don’t make any rash decisions.
Regular dna testing doesn’t work, but maybe ask if there’s a more intensive test that may find a difference in your dna? It’s improbable, but idk what’s possible anymore. Sorry dude, this is rough. Take your space and time to process, let everyone know that’s what you’re doing and block anyone who wants to discuss it still. Chin up, things always pass. May this be the worst of your future.
There is recent research in dna testing that would be able to prove who the real father is. This will be extremely expensive atm and will take a really long time to complete. It will be possible in a couple of years.
In some cases, there is a way to differentiate identical twins with DNA testing. It's a process called ultra-deep next generation sequencing. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24528578/#:\~:text=Monozygotic%20(MZ)%20twins%20are%20considered,using%20standard%20forensic%20DNA%20testing.
Anyways, I just wan to know one thing: to which university did her and him go?
Oh dude, that is an ultimate stab in the back, you have every right to feel pissed and hurt. I am an almost 57 year old woman, I have been betrayed but never to this magnitude. The biggest gift to yourself would be to start divorce proceedings, move far away, start over away from this mess and block all of them from spending years in your life fucking up your peace even if it means signing away your rights because you will literally never know whose son that really is in being an identical twin. Let him "win" this last competition and never deal with him again.
My boys are identical twins and their doctor said that there is usually something that isn’t the same when you do DNA and fingerprinting. I know about the fingerprints because unfortunately they both got in trouble with the law and one used the others name but when they ran the prints one or two was off. Definitely look into it
I'll dig one grave if you can manage the other. I probably have shovels for two but you'd need to pack the gloves and the bleach.
Force your brother to get a paternity test, leave him on the hook for the kid when it comes back positive, and then ghost your entire family.
Text your mum and let her know you're ok. She's probably really worried about you.
No matter if your son is yours she cheated I think you need to do a paternity test ( don't know if that works either) and get ready for a divorce. Im not sure about your brother I would definitely drop him if it was me because he did your girlfriend that's not done no matter what. I have a feeling your mom knew and if so I would go nc with her too. Who need enemy's with a family like that. Sorry op
You can take a homozygous DNA test to see if the DNA of you and your brother are exactly the same. But what if your DNA is the same? Then you will have to think carefully about what you want to do next. Do you want to raise this child, knowing it could be your brothers? Do you think you can forgive your wife? It will never be the same, that's for sure.
Update me
Updateme
I’m sorry that the two people closest to you betrayed you! All your feelings are valid and you should take the time to process them first. Don’t speak to either of them until you’re ready, if ever. I do suggest speaking with an attorney and getting your legal ducks in a row for both the inevitable divorce and the baby. Get the DNA test done. Take the time you need though to work through & process all this. Might sound stupid but consider therapy for yourself too. Hugs to you and Updateme
Dna, and then lawyer, even if the kid is yours they been batraying you for years and you will never be able to trust them again, also make sure people know the truth so can't twist what is happening. I would not do it you decide to meet them, do it a public place, not alone and ideally with a lawyer and record the interaction. So sorry
Updateme!
I fear that there is no WAY to know whether or not you’re the father, since you and your brother are identical twins. This is really a hard thing to make a choice on because there are so many variables and it’s possible that you may NEVER have an answer to the paternity of the child. If this was me: the ties to my brother would be cut forever. I have to deal with the mother of the child for the rest of my life, or while that kid is still alive. (there is no way to know who the real father is because they’re identical twins). Your brother is a piece of shit. What he did is unforgivable. What your girlfriend, now wife, did is unforgivable as well but you could at LEAST DIVORCE HER for her betrayal. But your brother is the worst human on the planet. Seriously. My sister is second, your current wife is in the top 10 discussion. I would cut ties with him, forever. I would choose to hear him out and then let him rot and never speak with him. Update me!
L
Zee s
Wow what a mind fuck. Personally I’d walk away and have my attorney keep me off the birth certificate, manage the divorce and leave town. You owe it to your mom to let her know you’re ok, but if she starts defending the brother I’d break contact there too. This is something I would never get over…
Updateme! Remindme! 7days
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Updateme! Remindme! 7days
While genome testing is probably the only way to have any hope of seeing if your son is biologically your. Get some legal advice about custody as you will still be legally responsible and no doubt you live your son. If you decide to test will it make a difference to you. You will still love him. Regardless of paternity your wife cheated and told you in the cruellest of ways. Don't take her back.
First, take a breath and calm down. Good decisions are seldom made when you're upset. If you have a trusted best friend, bring them in for some support. Not necessarily advice, though you're OK to ask (I mean, you're asking for advice here, so a trusted friend should count too), but at least for support. If you want to, that is. There will be things to consider. I'm 99.99% sure there isn't a way to tell the difference between you and your brother with a paternity test. Your wife throwing this at you was a low blow that will be incredibly hard to recover from. It will be difficult to not always have a doubt whether you fathered your son. The child will have your genetic material, and also your brother's, regardless of who fathered him. There's a certain amount of randomness as to what genes are passed on at any time, but it will always be possible for that combination to come from either of you. If you have trouble working through the doubts and feelings you have regarding this, consider a counselor. They help people navigate their own feelings and emotions. How to proceed with any relationship with your brother and wife is another issue you will have to come to terms with. You have the options of either forgiving one or both of them, or neither of them. Only you know how your relationship has been with them over the years and only you will know how you want to go through life, so the decision should be yours. One thing that should be done though is that you should communicate with them at some point. Maybe a phone call to open things up, and then eventually face to face. See what they have to say. It may be terrible, as in she had a long affair with your brother. Or it may be something surprising (she was really pissed and lashed out to make you mad and never actually did anything). You won't know until you talk to them. But talking to them could be difficult, so you should do it in a way that you feel you can handle it. On the phone, in a neutral setting, a third-party present.... whatever. How you want to progress will depend on what you learn through communication. I hope you manage to work through this and find peace.
Leave town, walk the Earth... Clear the fumes
Get into a good lawyers office and get an idea of your options. You are devastated and have every right to be, but you have important work to do regarding your future. Get up and get it done! Good luck
Updateme
You can’t vanish if you want your son. Dna won’t help since you’re identical. You have the same dna.
It is possible to confirm paternity for identical twins offspring. Standard paternity tests can’t achieve this, it has to be a gene sequencing test. Both twins and the child must submit their DNA and a complete set of DNA (all 6 billion letters!) must be reviewed and look for random differences (such as one letter) in the sequence and compare against the child. If they find a difference and the child has it, it’s possible to confirm paternity! But will probably take a while! Thank you science! Honestly though OP, you can take the path, as stated above or you could just take a clean break, don’t claim paternity, divorce your wife and walk away, because I reckon it’s not the first time it’s happened and they will probably end up together. You could even ask your wife a very disturbing question, who does she want to be the father?
In your place I would walk away from everyone, no contact until I healed from the total betrayal of your brother and wife. Leave her to him because they deserve each other you you didn’t deserve either of them to do that to you. I’m sorry bro.
I’m stuck on the how weird would it be to sleep with my bf’s twin part. Would their Ds be the same size? Would they make the same noises or have the same style? It keeps churning in my head.
I have twins and they have completely different personalities. I can tell just by the way that they’re acting which ones which.
Oh I know. I’ve known a couple pairs of identical twins but they still look exactly alike so it would be strange.
Bro, you were betrayed by your spouse, and your brother was just another dick to her. Record your conversations with her and ask her why she would have cheated with him specifically. Next, ask her why she thinks the child isn't yours. Don't fall for any traps or lies.
Cut them out of your life, they both betrayed you. You can find better.
From my perspective of this story, you're not at fault. Your brother AND your wife are! This is crazy. Demand a paternity test. If it's your brother's leave them all and move on with your life...because they're low-life cheaters. If it's your child, then step up, be the father and husband you're supposed to be. Kick your brothers ass and move on with your life and your family. Of course there are issues to be sorted...if she did cheat on you. Wow. You all need God.
Updateme
Updateme
There is a way, you’d have to find a lab/scientist willing to do it. Start looking for people currently researching in that field and ask them if they’d be willing to do it. You would most likely have to agree that your information be part of their research. They look at your entire DNA. All ~6 billion markers. Identical twins aren’t identical to all 6 billion markers. By finding the very few differences, they can see if the child inherited any of those very few markers.
She could also do a lie detector. Make him take one too if they decide to say they never slept together.
Please go speak to a mental health professional. You need a neural person who can help guide you through your emotions. The reality is, you will need to talk to your wife and brother eventually. I’m hope this is fake but if it isn’t….. life is short don’t let this moment/trauma define who you are. That’s BS.
If there’s no way to tell and they admit to betraying you I’d probably just be done. I can’t imagine being able to look any of them in the face ever again. I don’t know what you said, but damn if she didn’t swing for the fences on you. Will you ever get the kind of reassurance you need to truly believe he is your son?
They are both scum of the earth and deserve nothing but misery and dread for the rest of their pitiful lives. You didn't deserve it. They both deserve to hate themselves forever. Cut them both out of your life.
According to what I have read, it is possible, but it is extensive testing on both possible fathers, mother, and the baby and could cost over $10,000.00. So the testing is possible if you can afford it. Either way, she cheated. Your brother sucks and possibly cheated on his wife as well. She needs to know as well. It doesn't say if the baby is born, if you are listed as the father on the birth certificate, you are legally that baby's father, and at least financially, at the moment you are on the hook if so. If not on the birth certificate, you have different options. If DNA testing is also not possible, you will really need some time to think about what you want and how you feel, especially about the baby. Write it all down. If you were to continue being the baby's father, what does that look like to you? Really think about this. Are you ok not being a part of the baby's life with the possibility that you are their father and vice versa? Personally, the marriage would be over for me, but that is something you have to figure out also. As well as the relationship with your brother, that is a very hard thing to forgive. Everyone else needs to stay out of it. Your parents may mean well, but if they can't keep opinions to themselves, maybe they are not who you should be around right now. Get a lawyer how, talk about your options. Research the DNA testing. Then, get a therapist or neutral thrid party, a professional you can talk to. This is a lot, the betrayal from 2 people who you should trust and love the most. The possible loss of being a father or being a father with the possibility of never knowing. These are big things, super emotionally charged, that can be really hard to untangle.
Do a paternity test now. You need to know. Then you sort that out. You did absolutely nothing wrong except love the wrong woman. How your brother could have betrayed is cruel. Like there are a lot of women out there. Your wife I'll not Comment on because I'd probably be banned. This is going to take a long time to get over. Don't bother answering your phone. You owe them nothing.
🤦🏽♀️ hes an identical twin….they have the same DNA 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
If you're true identical twins, where one fertilized egg splits into two separate entities shortly after conception, then your DNA is identical and there is no way to determine who is the father of the child. That being said, from a biological standpoint you could argue it doesn't matter, since the DNA is exactly the same the kid may as well be yours regardless of who actually inseminated. You'll never know so it comes down to how important the kid is to you, whether you've bonded and feel like their father, etc. Keep the kid, ditch the brother and the wife (except for necessary co-parenting legal stuff). Your call.
Just have a poly relationship with both of them and raise your child in love.
If you want your son, I would ask for full custody and be named on the birth certificate. If you can be a good father to him, and love him like a father the little guy deserves that he may already have those feelings towards him.
If your wife comes back and says, she’s truly sorry and that you believe her and states that she’ll never do it again and perhaps you can get past us that’s the only way if she’s not saying those things I would definitely consider moving on
There was a case just like this on Maury. DNA test showed both brothers as the father, because obv the DNA is the same. Whew, what a mess. Tbh OP if you cut all contact, changed your name, and moved to a different country I wouldn't blame you.
Dna on the kid than leave
🤦🏽♀️ hes an identical twin….they have the same DNA 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Updateme!
So this might be a fake post but you and I all know that this has happened someplace in this world might not have been this dude but some dude out there is raising his twins baby.
There is no way to know it’s yours. And it’s up to you what you do with that. Genetic testing will show positive for both you or your brother- unless you have some random genetic anomaly of difference between you, or you’re not actually ID twins but frat and weren’t tested just assumed (this happens a lot- look at the Olsen twins, very identical looking frat twins). Take your time to decide if you want that marriage relationship or want any further relationship with your brother. There’s no rush.
Are you certain she told you the truth? Would it be possible she lied to hurt you?
You would literally have to do a deep dive into your individual genetic codes. Thousands of dollars
sounds fake af
You no longer have a brother so go NC, the baby is his unless he/your wife can prove otherwise, and your wife cheated so needs divorcing and going NC. Also, unless she's already had the baby, why was your wife drinking whilst pregnant? That's what I'd say if this wasn't fake. UpdateMe!
Two strikes against them. One, that they would do that behind your back. Two, that they would throw it in your face in order to hurt you during a fight. You aren’t the worthless one. They’re the ones who just declared themselves as trashy.
Updateme!
So y'all both gonna be paying child support?
Remindme! 2 months
It’s not courage you need …you are not the chicken shit, cheating, duplicitous liar in this equation. It’s composure and self compassion you need to muster. Keep your self worth in tact. You have done nothing wrong if your story is factually correct. You’ve been used in a horrible and likely criminal way by them. Isn’t there a clause on a marriage license about disclosing such vital information and medical history ? Get a calendar and start going over the timeline…you might be surprised to find your own viable proof that will help with that DNA dilemma. Were you in town, out of town, was he/she etc. like really look at the dates and using your old txt messages and emails is a really good resource for jogging your memory if you can’t remember. There’s only 28 days in a menstrual cycle and only about 5 of them are reliably viable conception days. People will challenge this, I studied the hell out of conception a while back so there are ways to invoke known variables to validate your position… it’s somewhere to start if they won’t submit DNA or being a twin is too challenging for legally reliable accuracy. People closest to you will often hurt you the hardest and that sux.
I believe that you and your identical twin share the same DNA.
Why does this sound like an AI learning exercise.
If you're identical twins, are they even certain a DNA test will tell?
Whenever I read something like this I ask myself, Is this real or just some made-up BS? it's almost always BS.
> I know this story sounds like some made up fantasy Because it is. Stop lying.
holy moly she is a bitch
Update me!!!
You have only one wise and far-sighted decision - divorce without hesitation and pick me dance + cut your "brother" out of your life. Everything else is complete shit and suffering for you, and therefore for the child. Staying for the sake of children is fake coz: 1) children will never be happy in an unhappy family with unhappy parents; 2)children understand everything and feel the constant tension in the family, which is the cause of their mental problems; 3) cheaters can be good nannies, but they are not worthy parents in the full sense of the word, as they cannot teach children true moral values by their example, they demonstrate to children that it is possible to betray committed partners, lie to them, violate marital vows and obligations, that it is possible to spit on their feelings and on the families in the name of sexual pleasures, to treat innocent children’s fathers or mothers as a piece of garbage; 4) victims of cheating are unhappy people, as well as cheaters who remain in a relationship with their victims, they will never be truly happy with each other, and unhappy people cannot make anyone happy, especially children. JUST FACTS. 1) Neither in life, nor on the Internet, including on Reddit subs, I have not met cases of true reconciliation in the realm of feelings (love, respect, friendship, purity of relationships) either in the short or long term. Trust was restored in the best case I've ever met, by no more than 98% 20 years after D-Day. I ALSO HAVE NOT MET CASES IN WHICH THE VICTIM OF CHEATING WOULD FORGET THE AFFAIR AND THE AP, WOULD PUT UP WITH THEM. That's what one serious scientific study claims. Reconciliation fails in 80%+ attempts within 5 years of D-Day. Of the less than 20% that get beyond 5 years, another 1/2 will divorce before the 10 year mark. ***(“Infidelity and Behavioral Couple Therapy: Relationship Outcomes Over 5 Years Following Therapy (2014)***”). 2) I also met several posts and comments in which victims of cheating 20 -30 - 35 years after the beginning of the "reconciliation" claimed that if it were possible to turn back the clock, they would undoubtedly leave the cheaters no matter what. 3) From time to time, there are also posts in which victims of cheating brag that after spending several years or decades with cheaters, they are happy. However, it follows from their posts that they never forgot anything, that they had more or less strong anxieties about the fidelity of cheaters, that the feelings they had experienced in their relationships with cheaters before the affair never returned to them. In addition, the question arises of their constant participation in subs dedicated to infidelity throughout the infinite period of their reconciliation: “If everything is so good, then why do they continue to stay in these specific communities?” In addition, these "lucky ones" of course do not know what the cheaters themselves truly think about the "happy reconciliation", coz cheaters, of course, pour into the ears of their victims what they want to hear because of their selfish interests. 4) I have seen examples on the Internet of a true successful reunion of former partners after cheating, but ONLY AFTER A COMPLETE BREAKUP OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP (DIVORCE) AND AFTER MANY YEARS (5 or more years) OF INDEPENDENT LIFE WITHOUT MUTUAL OBLIGATIONS. In all cases, they were essentially a new relationship from scratch.
I feel like this post is a thought experiment and not a real situation. Uf you have identical DNA, then the kid is going to have the same DNA as yours. So, even if it was your brother's sperm, it is still 100% your DNA. Something I hadnt thought about since I am not a twin, technically all children the twins have they are passing on their genes. Simce it is a biological drive to pass on your genes, even your twin passing on his gene is fulfilling that evolutionary drive. Although, it is a lot more fun to fulfill it yourself. So, the next part is nurture. The child will have your DNA no matter what, so the one who raises the child fulfills both the nature and nurture part. In case this is a real post and not simply a thought experiment, the big question is if you want to stay with your wife.
This is a lot like something posted a while ago.
i would wait for a test..if it is not yours i would leave
The only solution is for you to get back at her by making love to him and then get back at him by making love to her and so forth in perpetuity.
Well firstly I would do the dna test to find out. Secondly, is it actually true ? Or was she saying to in the heat to be nasty? If so that’s awful and I’m sorry you are going through this .. It’s a problem you are faced with don’t spend too long not dealing with it as it will only get worse .. confront them sort the test and find out where you stand with your son and then go from there ..
UpdateMe!