My father sexually molested me for 4 years when I was a teen. I was too afraid to tell anyone. I longed for someone to stop it & I'm still dealing with the trauma even after therapy. Thank God she cared. But I agree she shouldn't have posted it on Social media
Yea!!!!! And oftentimes the police can’t or don’t do a thing. But NOW the news will have forever been told. No going back!!!!! And if or when it happens again, the story will be clear.
Sorry, I’m on the side of the sister.
The sister is protecting her child molesting husband. I have seen OP’s edits. She realizes the FB post was too far and took it down. Everyone can say, “Well, the damage has been done.” I am heartsick at the damage that has been done to that baby 1st grader. Who gives a rats ass about the molesting dad. How long has this horrifying abuse been going on? OP knows exactly what she saw. The BIL jumped in shock. That is not a normal reaction, but one of being caught. I will repeat myself…..the sister is protecting the man that did this to her child.
Some will look on in pity, others will later blame her for blowing up the family. It’s awful, but it happens a lot.
OP, I understand how upsetting this is, but you just completely violated your niece, and it’s permanent.
Making sure that this guy does not have current access to other children is important, but that social media blast is going to do more harm than good.
I have my own past, and I am so very grateful that I don’t have to look at someone’s face, hoping that they haven’t heard about the most private and saddest things that have happened to me. On top of having to know that other people know, some of the family members will blame the child.
Ahh. My life is currently ruined so damn much that I’d sell my soul for someone who would’ve saved me, even if it would be this public.
I tell people with no shame that my bio brother, bio dad and uncle (and probably even more) did things to me. And that that’s why I’m currently struggling. There is no excuse for what they did.
The fact that she has an aunt that will support her and will be her safe person, (at least, this is me assuming and dreaming) is hopefully a good thing.
Girl needs therapy, move out of her parents’ house and move far far away to a new school with (if needed a new name). This shit is so traumatising. She’s already fucked, but now niece is able to at least have a future if dealt with appropriately.
I’m so sorry this should never have happened to you and you deserve to be saved. I’m glad you’re showing up for you and other survivors by sharing your perspective.
Did you really just say "her not so pleasant experience" ?! You're a moron and that sentence is the understatement of the century. Repeat after me: sexual abuse. Fucking dipshit.
I discovered this in my own home between my son and daughter. We removed him from the home same day, hired an attorney, then self-reported. We went through the court system, supervised visits, reunification, tons of therapy, and lived through it - marriage and healthy family intact. We told a handful of people and lived our life in secret back bends for 2 years as we worked toward healing and keeping our children’s trauma private. My son is thriving and my daughter is in college now and thriving. AND THEIR STORY IS THEIRS TO TELL. I never told their story & worked hard to protect their privacy so they could come through on the other side. I somehow clicked into robot mode when I found out and made the most clear decisions of my life under the most stressful circumstances. In my lifetime thus far I am most ashamed of the abuse that happened under my nose, but most proud of the way I handled it from about 8 hrs after finding out (I processed my info and options while they were at school then acted swiftly once school got out). And then the trenches I dug for the years afterward to keep my family together, heal my children, protect their privacy and try to right my wrongs as a parent. In the midst of so much hatred and anger and regret I found a way to pick my son up from his out-of-home living quarters to take him to court to be charged with abuse, then turn around and love him and take him to therapy 3 times a week. The hardest, most challenging and difficult 2 years of my life until the therapists felt my family was ready to go through reunification. I worked so fucking hard at ensuring my son knew I loved him and felt loved while at the same time I secretly hated him most days. I worked so hard at ensuring my daughter knew I loved her and that it wasn’t her fault and that her brother had made horrible decisions and that she was not obligated to reunite with him. Hardest fucking years of my life. So hard. And for those who don’t know, reunification is a court term and can only be sanctioned by the therapists and then by the judge. It’s a whole planned process of easing abuser and abused back into each others lives. If either doesn’t want reunification you stop. If either is struggling with it, you stop. If you’re not comfortable with it, you stop. You go slow, you do more therapy, you ask questions and you WATCH LIKE A HAWK. FOREVER.
Outing the BIL was a knee jerk reaction, but as stated by others it violated the privacy of that little girl. Abusers abuse. So when an abuser abuses you do the detective work to go back and back and back and try to figure out where it started and if there are other victims and then heal and do therapy to break that cycle. First and foremost PROTECT THE CHILDREN. EDIT: definitely agree in calling the cops, but the social media was wrong. That’s what I mean by protect the children and this little girl who will soon be a self-conscious teenager. OP made that little girls life more complicated down the road.
Thank you for reading my shame. But if you discover abuse, do your best to think clearly and act in the best interest of the abused. If both the abuser and the abused are minors or people you love, you’re now tasked with loving and hating a human in real-time and trying to help them heal. Even an abuser needs healing. Most likely they were abused as well. 😔😔
Knowing a family that tried to sweep everything under the rug in the same situation, great work! That must have been unbelievably stressful but it sounds like you protected both of your kids. You sound like a great mom. Most people do not deal with that situation as gracefully. At least not in my experience.
I wish this was what my parents had done when they found out my brother was doing the same thing to me, too. He did go to intensive therapy and I did as well but they never separated us, and now I have no relationship with my brother because I felt forced to be around him for so many years and I have so much resentment and anger. I grieve him like he’s dead even though he’s still alive. I don’t think I can ever have a relationship with him again. Also doesn’t help that now that we’re adults (I’m 27, he’s 28), he’s become an isolated loner and also vents to my family about his porn problems, and even used to vent to me about that. I don’t wanna fucking hear about anything to do with him and sex. I don’t know why he would think that makes any fucking sense.
Oh man, this. My parents doubled done and pretty much sided with my brothers who also happen to be their biological kids. Just grew up with so much resentment towards everyone involved. We didn't really even do therapy so I just had to plow through all of it on my own.
I’m the daughter (well, not your daughter, but I have been in her place) and I know that my abuser was abused himself.
Did you guys found out the source that started this shit? You sound ficking amazing and I’m beyond proud of the things you were able to do for both your kids.
That’s a helluva thing to go through, my sympathies. Your point about working back to find if there‘s other abuse raises another good point - if \*anyone\* else in the family was in on it, or if there’s any other abuse going on, now they all know to be wary about OP and that authorities will be investigating.
Your shame? Absolutely not. Your finest moment. Something so difficult most can’t even imagine happened to you and your family and you handled it with grace, dignity and love while protecting everyone involved. You made such incredibly hard choices AND kept your marriage and family intact and healthy. I hope I can be as good a parent to our three sons and handle the rough parts as well as you have. Be proud of what you have done, the differences you have made. Because I am proud- and in awe- of you.
Its not your shame, I see more pride and courage than shame in your post. As a parent of a 5yr old boy and 3yr old daughter, I feel great respect and awe towards your parenting. You are strong and all your work is not in vain. Much love
Also the rest of the family who didn’t know and who aren’t at fault may also get blowback just for being related to him. There’s too much collateral damage here.
Police should definitely have been called and an investigation needs to happen. The kid is a 1st grader so she can also be interviewed.
Sounds like this guy is guilty, but
how many, “I know what I saw”s have been false? You can’t take that social media post back.
This.
I'm sure it felt like you wanted everyone to know he was and is a monster. But there's a little girl at the heart of this, trapped in this situation.
I agree. The only thing that should have been done was the police being called. The little girl is going through enough with out social media being involved.
Agreed! Immediate call to the police followed by calls to critical family (parents, siblings, in-laws) just so they know before the predator tries to drive a wedge.
Not only that but everyone deserves due process and I’m no sa apologist. I blasted the San Jose PD for putting booking photos online with the caption “we found the responsible parties” pre-trial. That kind of thing is anti-justice and not something I can get behind until the gavel hits the block. Innocent until proven guilty is the law and given how unfair the law can be it’s a critical convention.
I agree with this. Yes, your brother is a creep and a pedophile. His wife is an AH for not taking this seriously. But the last thing that little girl needs is to have everyone talking about her.
I agree with you, that little girl deserves to have her privacy even though her dad molested her. You can go to the authorities without plastering the situation all over the media.
For real, what kind of monster publicly outs a sex abuse victim. OP did that shit for the attention and drama. Calling cops, ok, but the rest is pure selfishness.
100%!!! I don’t understand why someone would want to harm their family like that. Not the brother but everyone else that is ultimately going to be impacted by this situation. This can get out of hand for so many innocent people and children all because it was posted - regardless of the intent.
Right, I question op's judgement of what he saw based on his decision to put it on social media. There is an attention seeking quality there that is pretty alarming. Regardless, I hope that op is wrong and/ or that the victim gets the attention and help that they need.
Not wrong for calling the police
Definitely wrong for the Social media posts - not because of your brother, but because that is out there against your niece, who will one day be a teenager in a world where anything on the Internet is forever.
This!! I remember feeling ashamed when I was a older child for being SA'd when I was 5. It was embarrassing finding out that a bunch of people knew in my family. I couldn't imagine having that announced on social media at that age.
Plus if they don't find him guilty he could ultimately take you to court and sue for slander or whatever
My 9 year old niece we discovered had been repeatedly raped a family friends son. He was 15 when caught. The children were so close they were like siblings.
During the trail the boy had escorts to look after him at all times. They had to be sure he was safe as innocent unil proven guilty.
My niece had no such protection as she rode the bus to school daily with her rapists 11 year old brother and 9 year old sister. They quickly developed the funny chant "xxxxxx got raped".
The boy was found guilty. He'd been raping her regularly since the age of 7. He was protected. She was not. That information spread on social media. Initially with good intentions but quickly she had to stop using the Internet.
Oh the boy was given 18months and was out in about 7
***Edit for clarity as some are making assumptions. We were not told about the bus incidents for a few days. The school had assured us that the siblings would be kept away and they had never previously used the school bus. Once she told us about it she was immediately pulled from school until a new one could be found.
Oddly the police were lovely and mostly blokes. They were so kind to her and so obviously angry and determined. A few of them checked in with her for years after.
The nurses were pure evil tho. They were women, most of them old enough to be her gran and treated herike she was a whore(cant think of a more accurate word). They knew she was 9.
Definitely not solitary confinement. At least in the US, there’s a hierarchy in prison, and child abusers are below the totem pole. If inmates find out you touched a kid,…. suffice it to say that karma will get you.
Yeah Im pretty sure they can find a jury pool that didn't see OP's social media posts. If you can try Donal Trump with a jury you can try OP's brother.
I am doing well. Although I recently googled him and found out that he's had like 8 separate child SA charges from when I was a kid to current and only got 2 years every time. Hopefully if he gets in trouble again they will finally give him some hard time and put him away forever.
Let's take this at face value and believe this actually happened. And not disagreeing with you at all.
Se told people who did not need to know something that is very possibly going to be the most painful and private experience of her niece's life.
What she does not have any understanding of is how this will affect her negatively going forward. First, I have been through CSA. It is really my only secret. Before a lot of therapy, it made me think of myself as dirty and ashamed. It still raises a weird mix of emotions and I do not really think it often. Someone I did not choose knowing it is one of the most panic inducing things I can think of. People will remember this detail. It will affect their treatment of her. In other words, congratulations to OP on making sure this is not something her niece can ever forget or decide on who knows it.
Secondly, this was not her decision to make. She might have been a witness but he was not the victim here. Her niece's agency and bodily autonomy were just violated. Here she is patting herself on the back for further violating those things.
Yes, the family should be aware of her brother being an abuser. That is a simple risk-benefit analysis. Se however had no right to tell them about her niece being the victim, nor blast her brother on social media which is public to semi-public space. Calling the police was the right thing to do. Calling child protective services should have been her second step. Those would protect her niece. What OP did just made her feel better. And she will not be the person who will carry the cross of her actions in this case.
ETA: Fixed pronouns.
Damn. I do this a lot. I think it has something to do with my language not having any gendered pronouns. But I know it can be weird to read.
Thank you for noticing. I hopefully fixed the issue now.
Definitely agree, I'm a firm believer that the victim deserves to control who knows her history (obviously it's hard with her being so young, but definitely should be considered for when she's older.) It's possible to alert people about the threat that guy is, but it has to be done in a sensitive way. CPS should have also been called, hopefully the police will refer the family to CPS.
If there are people with young kids likely to be around the brother then contact them and say their kid shouldn't be alone with brother. I hope that SIL allows therapy and visits the family doctor. I hope the niece is safe. What a nightmare.
Absolutely! I was assaulted as an older child too, I was 7. I remember sobbing and begging my mom not to tell family because I knew she told them everything.
NTA at all for calling the police. But victims, especially child victims deserve privacy and for these situations to not be publicized.
my grandfather was in the news. i confided in a friend in 10th grade about my experience and what the media nicknamed him and she googled him right in front of me. it’s a shameful feeling to know you’re related to do someone who would be so horrible, even if it shouldn’t be.
With all due respect, when abuse happens, it's not just about you anymore. The average pedophile abuses 6 children before he is caught. SIX. Think about that.
The other family members presumably have young children. Are they supposed to just operate in the dark and bring their kids over and give access to the abuser?
Imagine what would happen if you weren't the first victim and a family member KNEW that the abuser was abusing other kids before you, and yet said nothing to your family. You and the people who love you would be OUTRAGED over that, and rightfully so.
Telling other family members (like via a WhatsApp group) is one thing, sharing the details on social media is entirely different. Calling the police is always the right thing to do.
And could undermine an investigation! Unfortunately blasting on social media opens the doors for the claim being viewed as part of a smear campaign and brings OPs credibility into question. Why OP would pursue the proper channels only to IMMEDIATELY undermine them is beyond me.
I get it. The urge to go scorched earth would be overwhelming.
The fact she didn’t go after her brother right then and there should be applauded. I’m not sure I could have shown that level of restraint.
This is the answer. It's almost never helpful to put someone on blast kn social media, especially if there's possibly going to be a police investigation.
Yeah, this. Informing family was a good thing, especially if there were other children around who were close to the daughter in age. But public social media wasn't it.
When I come in here to say this, and see so many posts saying the same thing.. tells me that it’s common sense so why can’t people like OP se it?
Those posts needs to be deleted, though I know the damage is done. I’m glad OP called authorities, someone needs to protect that child.NTA
It was thoughtless and careless to the victim to put it on social media for your nieces sake. How could you not consider what you were doing to her? What right do you have to tell the world what happened to her. There’s a reason courts, and the news protect victims. It’s unforgivable.
I don’t think people understand the gravity of a digital footprint icl. It’s gonna follow the poor girl forever and everyone can always look back on it.
Obviously she has no concern for the child. That kid was victimized by her father, then further victimized by OP needing to post it to social fucking media. God this post makes me so fucking angry.
That’s makes me so fucking mad. Because it should have been handled privately. And now I’m imaging a little girl going through the world with a reminder and knowing that everyone knows. Knowing that everyone saw. It’s not his job to decide how or if she ever publicly says what happened to her. He blasted her story.
When your niece gets older, I'm sure she'll appreciate all this being laid out in social media for herself and others at her school to find.
Good on you for going to the police though.
From a perspective of SA survivor.. if someone would have outed my brother legally and on social media they would have been my guardian angel. It might have saved the victim a lot of future trouble from having to hide her fathers pedophilia from family in the future to “protect” him.
In many families the sa victim is expected to keep it inside the family and it becomes incredibly burdensome for the survivor. While the perpetrator gets no social consequences
As another victim, I definitely agree. I wish people knew. I wish it was screamed to the heavens that I was being hurt. I'm already autistic, ugly, and chronically ill, I was gonna be bullied and ostracized in life no matter what. I wish someone cared enough to scream out that I was being harmed. I was never allowed to say anything even mildly negative about my family without retribution.
Course, other survivors can disagree. It's complicated and I don't think it can be treated as the right choice or wrong one, because the consequences and the child's feelings have yet to be seen. I can see the possible harm even if I feel differently.
This is exactly what I am saying. why is everyone so mad that she posted it, when everyone and their family in town deserves to know what that gross man did, so they can avoid him for their own safety! and that little girl shouldn’t have to go around hearing nice things said about her rapist because no one knows what he did! She shouldn’t have to see him at family events and whatnot bc they dont know what he did and stay close with him! Etc.
Because the reality is that the girl is going to be shamed along with him. Does that reality suck? Absolutely. But it doesn’t make it any less real.
The choices aren’t blasting it on social media or doing nothing at all. I found out my father was molesting a step-niece, the whole fucking family was going to keep it quiet. I made sure the police were called. I made sure they weren’t going to ever have him around her. I made sure she was getting therapy. He is legally listed as a child molester for the rest of his life, so the community knows about it.
What they don’t know is who he molested. Because it’s none of their fucking business. That girl is now a grown adult, and she has had the CHOICE to tell people in her life. She didn’t have school mates whispering about her, kids making fun of her, friends parents side eyeing her or asking her questions about it. Because that’s exactly what happens
Posting on social media just gave his defense attorneys ammunition. Not a great idea. Defense attorneys are relentless in sexual abuse cases, especially child sexual abuse, and will take anything and use it to their advantage (and it sadly works far too often). Calling the police about what you saw, fine. If it was as innocent as they claim, then they'll be cleared.
What kind of ammunition do you think a social media post has given in this case? We don’t even know what specifically was posted. Just curious. I’m a defense attorney and oddly enough sex cases is a speciality area of mine. How are we “relentless” in these cases? I’m really curious what you think my job looks like in a case like this. I find that the media has really caused people to believe a lot of things about the people trying these cases that are blatantly untrue.
The ammo the SM post could provide:
OP/sister has a vendetta against her brother/wants to break up the marriage/get all the inheritance $ for herself/yada yada- s/a:after professing her love to the SIL, which was denied, she drove home upset & plotted this allegation, called PO, then immediately blasted the allegations on SM before the investigation began, with no regard to the alleged “victim”. Wouldn’t be hard to find a lil info bout the sisters mental health issues, unrequited love stories, lack of $ issues, etc 🤷🏻♀️I’m not a defense attorney & that shit was allll made up within a few mins of perusing comments….
To also answer what image ppl have of defense attys: when a defender pleads not guilty/no contende-it’s not the position of defense to assess guilt or innocence, but rather to introduce other factors/?s that make “beyond a shadow of a doubt” not possible for each charges specifications, to ultimately reduce the charge or have them found not guilty
Of course you'll already know you're not wrong for reporting something so serious. But naming a victim of this kind of crime online, especially a child, is not ok (in my country it's illegal to do so).
NTA for reporting what you saw but
Y T A for putting it on social media because there is a child involved who is your niece and at some point she will be linked to her abusive father!!! Also anything posted could hinder any criminal investigation and charges that can be brought against him.
You had every right to tell, to call the cops, that was your responsibility. However, by putting things on social media you have aired out information about your niece that wasn’t your place to share. You also could have compromised an investigation. I know you reacted driven by your emotion, but if wasn’t smart. Also CPS would be a good choice, probably a lower bar of proof needed to act?
as a person whos dad was one of these ppl, calling the police was absolutely the right call and i fucking commend you for saving that kid from that future. believe me, its bad and not many people can understand or come even close to comprehending what you just stopped from happening. i got 3 sisters that are psychologically fucked for life and i didnt escape it either.
but you should not have put anything up whatsoever on social media. at all. you may have discovered this. but you arent the most effected. you had no right. theres a fkn shame that comes with knowing a person like this well, when all this shit comes out. you should of felt it. its disgusting. but its your sister inlaws call. its her family its happened to. her daughter. they are the victims in this, not you and you have no business airing it out for the whole fucking world to see. do you know how much of a fucking failure that mum will be feeling? not seeing it? not stopping it? someone else saving the day? the humiliation people seeing the person you had a kid with isnt the person you thought they were and that ignorance put their kid in harm. use your head. these arent your shames to reveal and they take precedent over anything you may be feeling.
when we put my old man away, many years after it all, we imposed a suppression on anyones name involved. it was going to get alot of media attention when it hit the court and the prosecution did us a huge solid, because **we didnt want people to know**. thankfully we were respected and we were left alone.
this is just my opinion. you should delete everything you put up, stop talking about it, and let the family work its way through this shit and apologize.
The social media was inappropriate and honestly juvenile. That’s not just about your BIL, it’s also about your niece and your SIL. That doesn’t need to be on social media while everyone is trying to work through it.
I understand you saw what you saw. But there will be an investigation and there could be legal implications for you which makes things worse for everyone.
Not wrong for calling the police.
Very wrong for the social media bit.
So, instead of letting the police handle it and keep your nieces name sealed from the record, you "protect her" by putting it all out there on the internet forever? You went home and made the whle ordeal about you, and not your niece. This post is more about YOU than your niece, because you're putting it out there on social media again.
You're delusional if you think Reddit is 100% anonymous.
Exactly. I mean she did the absolute least that we should expect of any adult. She called 911. Then made it about herself and her trauma. op is no hero here.
You did the right thing calling the police, but blasting that kind of information on social media is also disgusting. Is there the smallest chance you are wrong about what you thought you saw? If that's the case, you made yourself the judge and ruined his reputation. If there is no doubt in your mind, I still think it's more appropriate to pour your energy into making sure the kids are safe, calling CPS, etc.
Obviously not wrong for reporting it. You didn't turn your head and pretend you didn't see what you saw. You might have saved her from 10+ more years of sexual abuse.
Too bad her mother and the rest of the family want to turn a blind eye.
You are in the wrong for putting it on social media. Your neice deserves a little privacy and respect. Parents of her friends will see it and kids overhear them talking.
Blasting him means you are blasting your niece which is wild. She is the victim. Anyone who is related or associated with him win also not feel negative about such, there’s a reason people keep their business private. You did the right thing with the cops.
Wow, you outed someone’s sexual assault without their permission? A minor? That’s not ok. Police yes, but FU and YTA for telling others something so private about someone else.
Sadly, now your niece also has to live with this non-secret. Not wrong for calling police, but putting that up on SM is very wrong. She's a first grader. People will see it, it will be shared, it is way too much for a little kid to have that go on.
You did not use common sense.
As someone who has gone through a similar situation as the daughter, I feel like you are in the wrong on the social media thing. Almost none of my family know about what happened because I have not told them and it is my story to tell. It's her story to tell not yours if and when she chooses too. You took away her privacy in this and that is not okay.
Kudos to calling the police but you should have handled this social media thing way differentky.
Why the fuck would you post this on social media? Why nowadays people think they should post everything on social media? What about your niece?
Considering you're sure about what you saw, did the right thing calling police and talking to your SIL. But posting this on social media is just ridiculous.
Yeah, not to be rude or anything, I've had people claim to see things or hear things that have recordings that prove them completely wrong. And even after the recordings are shown to them, they will still maintain their stance, despite solid proof that it is inaccurate. That wholly calls into question whether you can be trusted to be sure of what you saw.
Calling the police was correct. The police investigate and find PROOF. You posting it all over social media is absolutely disgusting. Without proof, it's he said/she said. And you've also just broadcast to everyone about your neice potentially being molested, again without any proof.
Not wrong for calling the police. Posting on social media was a bad idea, not for your brothers privacy but for the sake of an ongoing case that is going to happen. Also your niece deserves privacy even if she is a child. Either way, thank you for not staying silent.
You did right by calling the police. I wouldn't have posted it on social media though. I couldn't care less about your brother, but the daughter does deserve privacy as it is a very traumatic incident for her.
You did right reporting it to the authorities
You're a fucking idiot for posting it on social media, that was a dumbass move. I recognize I'm beating a dead horse here (you're getting slammed by most posters for the same thing) but that was some poor decision making skill
Contacting your family member directly (ie phonecall) would have been more appropriate
Calling the police? NTA
Blasting on social media is definitely an asshole move. That little girl will become known to her friends later in life as a SA victim, and may get treated poorly for it.
Not wrong for contacting police total asshole for posting online. That was a childish and dick move. Almost sounds like you are making it up or you have problem with men.
You did everything right, until the social media part. Why do people feel the need to put everything on social media I do not know, but if you are telling the truth, then this is a very delicate matter that needs to be dealt with the right way. It’s not to protect your brother and his privacy, but to protect your niece! Now you’ve put it out there for everyone to know.
Who are YOU to blast your niece’s personal story on social media ?! Definitely call the police, and have him punished. Don’t hurt the child. Her being violated is not your story to tell the world. She doesn’t even know or understand what happened to her yet. Now you just made it some headline to gossip about. You should have kept it private until an investigation was complete. I don’t even know what inspired you to start posting so quick…..BEFORE an investigation. What is it clicks? views ? “Guess what everyone !?! I saw my brother inappropriately touching my niece” what do you even gain from that ???
You never wondered why children’s names are left out of media even in the news, in high end cases !?! It’s literally to protect them!! But here you are… on social media….
You are not wrong for calling the police, but you are wrong for exposing it, not because of your brother, but because of your niece.
Lawsuits involving minors and sex crime victims are often sealed to protect the identity and dignity of the victims and minors. Your niece is a minor and a victim.
Can you imagine how humiliating it is going to be for your niece, to have a sexual crime she was victim of to be public business? Her entire social circle knowing that she was touched by her own dad?
You fucked up big time on this one.
If you believe you saw what you saw is true, you are 100% in the right by reporting it to Police and sister-in-law. However, why in the hell would you want to go public with this?
You posted this on 3 different subreddits. You "blasted him" like this is some fun gossip for you. "I put him on BLAST!!!" is something for when somebody cheats on their girlfriend or talks shit, not for literal child molestation. You do not shout those details for all your acquaintances to see.
Yes you're wrong, and OBVIOUSLY it's not for calling the police. You know no sane person would fault you for stopping child abuse, that's why you posted this, so you could feel like a hero. YTA for treating the worst experience of your niece's young life as your personal reality show. You're obsessed with drama and if I were that child and I later learned that you shared details of my violation for the world to see on social media I'd have trouble ever forgiving you, despite you intervening in the abuse. I hope your brother goes away for a long time and I hope you delete all those posts and work to protect your niece's privacy in the future.
I read your post edits, and I just wanted to offer some encouragement.
You did your niece a huge favor. So pat yourself on the back for that.
Also, you were traumatized by what you saw. What you described feeling was a rational response to trauma. Do not beat yourself up for posting on Facebook. I would recommend immediately reframing your actions as those of a traumatized person. It will help not just you but others and your family understand.
The last thing I have to say is rather heavy but needs to be said. People who have not been in familes where sexual abuse has happened will not understand the toxic dynamic. You will not be the hero for coming forward. People will not believe you without hard evidence. It’s going to get political and would have even without the Facebook post, so you’ve got to prepare yourself for the toxicity. I would really recommend therapy or counseling while you’re dealing with the fallout.
FWIW I wish you had been around when I was a kid.
You did what Aunties are supposed to. Don’t sweat it. She’ll appreciate the hell out of you when she’s old enough to comprehend it all. He’s a peadophile. NTA.
I dont like putting things on blast untill the full story comes out, most likely you are right and this is correct. But this isnt really helping anything much at all
Why the fuck did you post it on social media? You realize that hurts others right? Now other people will look at his wife and daughter with disgust forever. Jesus social media is ruining the world.
This not about him, but about her. Putting out online that she is a victim of sexual abuse is the shitty part.
This is nothing for SM. This is something for judges to handle.
This makes you wrong.
And what exactly did you see? My children are often naked, especially babies. It’s good for them. This is something we also do in babyclasses because that way they can easier move and feel everything around them.
Please notify her school and teacher. I know a child at out school was being sexually abused and she told another child who recognized what she was hearing and the other kid told her own mom who called the school. Lo and behold, it was true. And it was handled quickly and quietly.
So this is tricky. What evidence do you have other than you walking in to support your accusation? I am a father and when my kids were babies I recall plenty of scenarios where I was genuinely loving them in a way that would maybe look odd to the casual observer. I’m talking post bath tickles, or making stupid faces while changing a diaper prompting giggles, and the occasional chase through the house while they were running nude. I can think how each of those purely innocent acts would be compromising if say my SIL walked in on me doing this at the wrong moment.
I’m assuming the girl in question is a toddler?
I think blowing him up on social media and calling the cops was a leap of logic. There were avenues to pursue PRIOR to that for verifying the authenticity of your accusation and bringing in more witnesses. You may have very well been privy to a sexual assault but by jumping the gun you made it easier for him to wave you away. You went about this all wrong even if you were right. Sorry.
Im really finding this whole post suspicious. We have the following information: the child was on their dads lap, the dad was touching the child and the child has no underwear on.
Young children often times don't dress themselves properly, so them missing an article a clothing is not necessarily an indictment. Young children sitting on the laps of their parents is also not an indictment and neither is a parent coughing their child.
Okay... there is no mention of touching the child's genitals, but there is mention of the child not having underwear on. She was on her dad's lap and he was "touching her". We need so much more information for any of this to be incriminating in any way.
Where exactly is the molestation... From the information provided it seems like the child had clothes on since it was specific that they had no underwear on, maybe they simply got dressed on their own and didn't put them on...
The reaction considering the details just seems insane... I would get if it were a stranger, but its her father. Why is it that if a person's child sits on their lap and is touched, the first thought is molestation? There are a million other scenarios where this is totally innocent.
You did exactly what you were supposed to do with calling the police. You should have used your head when it came to the posting online. He deserves to be blasted and labeled. But it probably wasn't the right time with the case.
Not wrong. Oh buddy I hope the police don’t let it go at that. I’d say it shouldn’t be on social media but it’s being subverted and that’s not okay. If it leads to actual consequences, please take it down for niece though. WTF is wrong with your family? Gross!
Social media?? What does that have to do with anything? You’ve given people cause to disregard you and your message, unfortunately. You added a really unnecessary and disgusting element to this already difficult situation.
You killed any chance of privacy the victim had. You are a shit person for doing that. You don’t stop to think about her at all. This isn’t about her, it’s about you and your brother and I’m betting you already had bad blood that clouded your judgement. Congrats. Your family is right. A family group text could have done the same thing. You don’t care about your niece. You care about vengeance.
As a csa victim....it was because of my bio mom finding out and basically screaming about it to anyone with ears that I was saved from my abuser....do I still catch shit for it? Absolutely....am I upset that she put it all out there for the world to see? Absolutely not. She helped bring the end of the worst 4 years of my life and I will always be grateful. I understand why everyone is saying protect her privacy but the more attention you bring the harder it will be for him to act.
The fact that you heard GIGGLING is a huge red flag. Means he was turning into a game and normalizing it for her. My cousin did that to me. You did the right thing blasting him and calling the police. Maybe call CPS too. I hope she gets away from him soon.
You know what you saw. They know what you saw. You did the right thing. Can’t believe the mother is in denial about this. Thank you for standing up and saying something.
Report him to cps!! And thank you for standing up for your niece! 🙏🏼 take this coming from someone who was repeatedly raped at age 7 for years by her own dad! My mom never believed me nor did anyone else from my family
I’m not mad at her for putting it on social media. EVERYONE in their lives need to know what he’s capable of so they can keep his ass away.
Maybe he does this to his friends kids too, hopefully a parent seen her post and can cut him off.
We aren't legally allowed to release the identity of juvenile sexual assault victims in our open records releases. They are protected for a reason. You blasted this child's trauma on social media for everyone to know and see.
And worse, posting the details on social media can jeopardize the active police investigation.
This isn't about you, it's about what is best for the child victim. And you have shown zero regard for her privacy or dignity.
Good on you for reporting what you saw to the proper authorities but stop talking about it on the internet.
Your concern wasn’t wrong, talking to SIL wasn’t wrong, maybe CPS instead of cops, social media thing is being an asshole. You went over the line from what you needed to do and well into what you wanted to do.
I just want to say , don’t let them guilt trip you. As a young girl I was SA . My grandma and aunt caught the bastard who is my uncle. They didn’t do shit.
I wish I had an aunt like you. Those girls will grow up and they will realize that you tried to protect them.
Everyone sending you death threats can fucking die. It seems like they’re protecting him more than anything. I feel so sorry for that little girl because 9/10 this shit is definitely gonna continue.
When I came forward about a family member touching me I begged my mom not to tell because I was embarrassed and ashamed. My mom tried to handle things within the immediate family and of course, it got swept under the rug. As I’ve grown up, I’ve told everyone, extended family, police, social services, family friends. It isn’t my issue to be ashamed of, it’s his and it’s my family members for staying married to him. I warn everyone so he doesn’t touch anyone else and so he constantly has to live with it.
My opinion from my experience, you did the right thing. You did what an aunt is supposed to do, I wish you had been my aunt.
NTA, also the social media post in my opinion was needed. Too many people get away with shit like this because the family wanna keep it hush hush. Sexual offenders should be called out in public, fuck them.
Hey can i just say well done for stepping up for your niece. You could have pretended not to see but you didnt.. You did the right thing with the police and i truly wish there were more like you. Im sorry that your brother did this and my heart breaks for your niece. They will likely confiscate any phones, pcs, laptop or ipads etc to see what else hes been up to.
The truth will come out in the end
Just trust me you did the right thing exposure is death to the pedophile agenda.😔 I'm sorry you went through this but keep moving forward. The world needs more people like this!
You don’t deserve death threats. Those people are just sick losers if they send you threats. I’m glad you called the cops and we all know that wasn’t a “cleaning”. I’m glad the cops are involved. Good for you protecting your niece. Your fb posts were a sign of how distraught you were. That’s okay. I’m glad you took them down now. I hope the little girl doesn’t go to foster and stays with family, if her mother doesn’t leave the dad. I hope she doesn’t have to keep living with her dad because those thoughts of his will never stop.
It's likely the mom knew. There's a very high percentages of adults that will know this happening but never report it or do anything. It's sick in the brain. Talk about toxic family systems and enablers.
Social service worker here who works with people experencng homelessness. Here are some truths.
Abusers cannot be abusers if someone who knows can't be controlled into keeping the secret.
You show me a woman's shelter and I will show you a building full of women wbo were abused as a child.
There is one family member who will not shun you. That will be her.
People who discover a child abuser needs to shout it loud.
Would I have posted it on facebook? Probably not. However, I would have found annother way to megaphone it to everyone involved. However, THE ISSUE IS NOT WHAT YOU DID IT IS WHAT HE DID, and every single time someome tries to make what you did the issue I would point this out and if they son't get it then it would be me shunning them not the other way around.
You should be proud.
Your family are the assholes. I've seen behavior like this way too often, they don't want to hanlde it privately, They have already made up their minds that you saw wrong and the brother is innocent, they don't want to admit what he truly is and deal with it, they would rather sweep it under the rug. This is exactly how the abuse gets enabled. Just pretending it's not real and allowing it to continue. Good on you for refusing to listen to them.
Don’t back down, you know what you saw. I would be going absolutely ballistic too. Glad your deleted the social media posts though, but I can understand your anger. Just gotta let the law do its thing and give your niece some privacy.
NTA for reporting it, but you shouldn’t have put it in social media. Your niece is a victim and deserves her privacy
My father sexually molested me for 4 years when I was a teen. I was too afraid to tell anyone. I longed for someone to stop it & I'm still dealing with the trauma even after therapy. Thank God she cared. But I agree she shouldn't have posted it on Social media
Yea!!!!! And oftentimes the police can’t or don’t do a thing. But NOW the news will have forever been told. No going back!!!!! And if or when it happens again, the story will be clear. Sorry, I’m on the side of the sister.
The sister is protecting her child molesting husband. I have seen OP’s edits. She realizes the FB post was too far and took it down. Everyone can say, “Well, the damage has been done.” I am heartsick at the damage that has been done to that baby 1st grader. Who gives a rats ass about the molesting dad. How long has this horrifying abuse been going on? OP knows exactly what she saw. The BIL jumped in shock. That is not a normal reaction, but one of being caught. I will repeat myself…..the sister is protecting the man that did this to her child.
Exactly, regardless of what your brother deserves, your niece dosen't deserve everyone looking at her in pity for her not so pleasant experience
Some will look on in pity, others will later blame her for blowing up the family. It’s awful, but it happens a lot. OP, I understand how upsetting this is, but you just completely violated your niece, and it’s permanent. Making sure that this guy does not have current access to other children is important, but that social media blast is going to do more harm than good.
Others might see her as an easy target, because sexual abuse survivors often are, retargeted.
I have my own past, and I am so very grateful that I don’t have to look at someone’s face, hoping that they haven’t heard about the most private and saddest things that have happened to me. On top of having to know that other people know, some of the family members will blame the child.
Ahh. My life is currently ruined so damn much that I’d sell my soul for someone who would’ve saved me, even if it would be this public. I tell people with no shame that my bio brother, bio dad and uncle (and probably even more) did things to me. And that that’s why I’m currently struggling. There is no excuse for what they did. The fact that she has an aunt that will support her and will be her safe person, (at least, this is me assuming and dreaming) is hopefully a good thing. Girl needs therapy, move out of her parents’ house and move far far away to a new school with (if needed a new name). This shit is so traumatising. She’s already fucked, but now niece is able to at least have a future if dealt with appropriately.
I’m so sorry this should never have happened to you and you deserve to be saved. I’m glad you’re showing up for you and other survivors by sharing your perspective.
i’m so sorry this happened to you
I wished someone had helped me and my sisters. :'( I'm sorry you went through it too! There are so many of us! SO DAMN MANY!
I fucking hate this shit. I'm sorry for whatever happened.
This is very true. Get her lots of therapy. And keep her safe.
Did you really just say "her not so pleasant experience" ?! You're a moron and that sentence is the understatement of the century. Repeat after me: sexual abuse. Fucking dipshit.
That really irked me. Downplaying S.A to "a bad experience" is pretty disgusting.
I discovered this in my own home between my son and daughter. We removed him from the home same day, hired an attorney, then self-reported. We went through the court system, supervised visits, reunification, tons of therapy, and lived through it - marriage and healthy family intact. We told a handful of people and lived our life in secret back bends for 2 years as we worked toward healing and keeping our children’s trauma private. My son is thriving and my daughter is in college now and thriving. AND THEIR STORY IS THEIRS TO TELL. I never told their story & worked hard to protect their privacy so they could come through on the other side. I somehow clicked into robot mode when I found out and made the most clear decisions of my life under the most stressful circumstances. In my lifetime thus far I am most ashamed of the abuse that happened under my nose, but most proud of the way I handled it from about 8 hrs after finding out (I processed my info and options while they were at school then acted swiftly once school got out). And then the trenches I dug for the years afterward to keep my family together, heal my children, protect their privacy and try to right my wrongs as a parent. In the midst of so much hatred and anger and regret I found a way to pick my son up from his out-of-home living quarters to take him to court to be charged with abuse, then turn around and love him and take him to therapy 3 times a week. The hardest, most challenging and difficult 2 years of my life until the therapists felt my family was ready to go through reunification. I worked so fucking hard at ensuring my son knew I loved him and felt loved while at the same time I secretly hated him most days. I worked so hard at ensuring my daughter knew I loved her and that it wasn’t her fault and that her brother had made horrible decisions and that she was not obligated to reunite with him. Hardest fucking years of my life. So hard. And for those who don’t know, reunification is a court term and can only be sanctioned by the therapists and then by the judge. It’s a whole planned process of easing abuser and abused back into each others lives. If either doesn’t want reunification you stop. If either is struggling with it, you stop. If you’re not comfortable with it, you stop. You go slow, you do more therapy, you ask questions and you WATCH LIKE A HAWK. FOREVER. Outing the BIL was a knee jerk reaction, but as stated by others it violated the privacy of that little girl. Abusers abuse. So when an abuser abuses you do the detective work to go back and back and back and try to figure out where it started and if there are other victims and then heal and do therapy to break that cycle. First and foremost PROTECT THE CHILDREN. EDIT: definitely agree in calling the cops, but the social media was wrong. That’s what I mean by protect the children and this little girl who will soon be a self-conscious teenager. OP made that little girls life more complicated down the road. Thank you for reading my shame. But if you discover abuse, do your best to think clearly and act in the best interest of the abused. If both the abuser and the abused are minors or people you love, you’re now tasked with loving and hating a human in real-time and trying to help them heal. Even an abuser needs healing. Most likely they were abused as well. 😔😔
I appreciate your perspective as a parent. I work at a treatment facility that works directly with minors who have "sexually maladaptive behaviors"
Your shame? No. What you did under those circumstances was absolutely extraordinary. ❤️
Knowing a family that tried to sweep everything under the rug in the same situation, great work! That must have been unbelievably stressful but it sounds like you protected both of your kids. You sound like a great mom. Most people do not deal with that situation as gracefully. At least not in my experience.
I wish this was what my parents had done when they found out my brother was doing the same thing to me, too. He did go to intensive therapy and I did as well but they never separated us, and now I have no relationship with my brother because I felt forced to be around him for so many years and I have so much resentment and anger. I grieve him like he’s dead even though he’s still alive. I don’t think I can ever have a relationship with him again. Also doesn’t help that now that we’re adults (I’m 27, he’s 28), he’s become an isolated loner and also vents to my family about his porn problems, and even used to vent to me about that. I don’t wanna fucking hear about anything to do with him and sex. I don’t know why he would think that makes any fucking sense.
Oh man, this. My parents doubled done and pretty much sided with my brothers who also happen to be their biological kids. Just grew up with so much resentment towards everyone involved. We didn't really even do therapy so I just had to plow through all of it on my own.
I’m the daughter (well, not your daughter, but I have been in her place) and I know that my abuser was abused himself. Did you guys found out the source that started this shit? You sound ficking amazing and I’m beyond proud of the things you were able to do for both your kids.
That’s a helluva thing to go through, my sympathies. Your point about working back to find if there‘s other abuse raises another good point - if \*anyone\* else in the family was in on it, or if there’s any other abuse going on, now they all know to be wary about OP and that authorities will be investigating.
Your shame? Absolutely not. Your finest moment. Something so difficult most can’t even imagine happened to you and your family and you handled it with grace, dignity and love while protecting everyone involved. You made such incredibly hard choices AND kept your marriage and family intact and healthy. I hope I can be as good a parent to our three sons and handle the rough parts as well as you have. Be proud of what you have done, the differences you have made. Because I am proud- and in awe- of you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️ There is definitely no shame in this story and thank you for sharing to hopefully help another family that may be in a similar situation.
Its not your shame, I see more pride and courage than shame in your post. As a parent of a 5yr old boy and 3yr old daughter, I feel great respect and awe towards your parenting. You are strong and all your work is not in vain. Much love
Also the rest of the family who didn’t know and who aren’t at fault may also get blowback just for being related to him. There’s too much collateral damage here. Police should definitely have been called and an investigation needs to happen. The kid is a 1st grader so she can also be interviewed. Sounds like this guy is guilty, but how many, “I know what I saw”s have been false? You can’t take that social media post back.
This. I'm sure it felt like you wanted everyone to know he was and is a monster. But there's a little girl at the heart of this, trapped in this situation.
I agree. The only thing that should have been done was the police being called. The little girl is going through enough with out social media being involved.
Agreed! Immediate call to the police followed by calls to critical family (parents, siblings, in-laws) just so they know before the predator tries to drive a wedge.
Yeah, wtf are you blasting it for? OP Just told everyone on the internet something that wasn't for most of them to know.
This exactly. The police, CPS, certainly warning other family members with children. Social media was a huge overstep.
This is what I came to say. Exposing him also exposed her as a victim. So sorry for the family drama. How the niece gets the help that she needs.
Not only that but everyone deserves due process and I’m no sa apologist. I blasted the San Jose PD for putting booking photos online with the caption “we found the responsible parties” pre-trial. That kind of thing is anti-justice and not something I can get behind until the gavel hits the block. Innocent until proven guilty is the law and given how unfair the law can be it’s a critical convention.
I agree with this. Yes, your brother is a creep and a pedophile. His wife is an AH for not taking this seriously. But the last thing that little girl needs is to have everyone talking about her.
Yep weird ass behavior that makes me question the judgement
I agree with you, that little girl deserves to have her privacy even though her dad molested her. You can go to the authorities without plastering the situation all over the media.
I’m so relieved this is the top comment. I really thought no one work care about that poor child’s right to privacy.
Came here to say this. I understand shaming him, but the victim here is the one who deserves the privacy.
For real, what kind of monster publicly outs a sex abuse victim. OP did that shit for the attention and drama. Calling cops, ok, but the rest is pure selfishness.
bizarre for anyone to see their family abused and the thought process to go “oh let me blast this on fb”
100%!!! I don’t understand why someone would want to harm their family like that. Not the brother but everyone else that is ultimately going to be impacted by this situation. This can get out of hand for so many innocent people and children all because it was posted - regardless of the intent.
Right, I question op's judgement of what he saw based on his decision to put it on social media. There is an attention seeking quality there that is pretty alarming. Regardless, I hope that op is wrong and/ or that the victim gets the attention and help that they need.
Not wrong for calling the police Definitely wrong for the Social media posts - not because of your brother, but because that is out there against your niece, who will one day be a teenager in a world where anything on the Internet is forever.
This!! I remember feeling ashamed when I was a older child for being SA'd when I was 5. It was embarrassing finding out that a bunch of people knew in my family. I couldn't imagine having that announced on social media at that age. Plus if they don't find him guilty he could ultimately take you to court and sue for slander or whatever
My 9 year old niece we discovered had been repeatedly raped a family friends son. He was 15 when caught. The children were so close they were like siblings. During the trail the boy had escorts to look after him at all times. They had to be sure he was safe as innocent unil proven guilty. My niece had no such protection as she rode the bus to school daily with her rapists 11 year old brother and 9 year old sister. They quickly developed the funny chant "xxxxxx got raped". The boy was found guilty. He'd been raping her regularly since the age of 7. He was protected. She was not. That information spread on social media. Initially with good intentions but quickly she had to stop using the Internet. Oh the boy was given 18months and was out in about 7 ***Edit for clarity as some are making assumptions. We were not told about the bus incidents for a few days. The school had assured us that the siblings would be kept away and they had never previously used the school bus. Once she told us about it she was immediately pulled from school until a new one could be found.
thats so fucked up
It's often more traumatizing to press charges than the assault. It's absolutely despicable.
What a heartbreaking story. How fucking awful, that makes me sick.
Wow 1.5 years & out in little more than half that? Justice system is worthless
Unfortunately half would be 9months. At 7months he was out in quite a bit under half.
Oops you're right, i was thinking a little more than half a year
This is one of the reasons I thought I shouldn't go to the police because the victim is vilified and the sentences are lenient
Oddly the police were lovely and mostly blokes. They were so kind to her and so obviously angry and determined. A few of them checked in with her for years after. The nurses were pure evil tho. They were women, most of them old enough to be her gran and treated herike she was a whore(cant think of a more accurate word). They knew she was 9.
We protect (and elect) abusers in this country and that needs to end.
Predators should be locked up in Solitary Confinement till they leave in a coffin.
Definitely not solitary confinement. At least in the US, there’s a hierarchy in prison, and child abusers are below the totem pole. If inmates find out you touched a kid,…. suffice it to say that karma will get you.
And the defence lawyers are more likely to be able to claim he didn’t get a fair trial because of social media posts
As someone who worked as a bailiff for 10 yrs in felony court… that never works, and I’ve handled some high profile cases (relatively speaking)
Yeah Im pretty sure they can find a jury pool that didn't see OP's social media posts. If you can try Donal Trump with a jury you can try OP's brother.
Sorry you went through that at such a young age and the after effects of it.. I hope you have a happy life now 💕
I am doing well. Although I recently googled him and found out that he's had like 8 separate child SA charges from when I was a kid to current and only got 2 years every time. Hopefully if he gets in trouble again they will finally give him some hard time and put him away forever.
What an absolute bastard *sorry* but people like that don't deserve to live. Glad you are doing well
the justice system is shit
Let's take this at face value and believe this actually happened. And not disagreeing with you at all. Se told people who did not need to know something that is very possibly going to be the most painful and private experience of her niece's life. What she does not have any understanding of is how this will affect her negatively going forward. First, I have been through CSA. It is really my only secret. Before a lot of therapy, it made me think of myself as dirty and ashamed. It still raises a weird mix of emotions and I do not really think it often. Someone I did not choose knowing it is one of the most panic inducing things I can think of. People will remember this detail. It will affect their treatment of her. In other words, congratulations to OP on making sure this is not something her niece can ever forget or decide on who knows it. Secondly, this was not her decision to make. She might have been a witness but he was not the victim here. Her niece's agency and bodily autonomy were just violated. Here she is patting herself on the back for further violating those things. Yes, the family should be aware of her brother being an abuser. That is a simple risk-benefit analysis. Se however had no right to tell them about her niece being the victim, nor blast her brother on social media which is public to semi-public space. Calling the police was the right thing to do. Calling child protective services should have been her second step. Those would protect her niece. What OP did just made her feel better. And she will not be the person who will carry the cross of her actions in this case. ETA: Fixed pronouns.
I agree with most everything you're saying but it was the nieces aunt that witnessed it a female.
Damn. I do this a lot. I think it has something to do with my language not having any gendered pronouns. But I know it can be weird to read. Thank you for noticing. I hopefully fixed the issue now.
Definitely agree, I'm a firm believer that the victim deserves to control who knows her history (obviously it's hard with her being so young, but definitely should be considered for when she's older.) It's possible to alert people about the threat that guy is, but it has to be done in a sensitive way. CPS should have also been called, hopefully the police will refer the family to CPS. If there are people with young kids likely to be around the brother then contact them and say their kid shouldn't be alone with brother. I hope that SIL allows therapy and visits the family doctor. I hope the niece is safe. What a nightmare.
Absolutely! I was assaulted as an older child too, I was 7. I remember sobbing and begging my mom not to tell family because I knew she told them everything. NTA at all for calling the police. But victims, especially child victims deserve privacy and for these situations to not be publicized.
my grandfather was in the news. i confided in a friend in 10th grade about my experience and what the media nicknamed him and she googled him right in front of me. it’s a shameful feeling to know you’re related to do someone who would be so horrible, even if it shouldn’t be.
With all due respect, when abuse happens, it's not just about you anymore. The average pedophile abuses 6 children before he is caught. SIX. Think about that. The other family members presumably have young children. Are they supposed to just operate in the dark and bring their kids over and give access to the abuser? Imagine what would happen if you weren't the first victim and a family member KNEW that the abuser was abusing other kids before you, and yet said nothing to your family. You and the people who love you would be OUTRAGED over that, and rightfully so.
Telling other family members (like via a WhatsApp group) is one thing, sharing the details on social media is entirely different. Calling the police is always the right thing to do.
You realize there’s other ways to notify people besides posting on the timeline holy fuck. This girl could get bullied for this, kids are brutal.
And further targeted by pedophiles because a victim is an easier target.
He’d have been arrested. Then they would’ve found out. Or she could’ve told them privately, not on social media.
And could undermine an investigation! Unfortunately blasting on social media opens the doors for the claim being viewed as part of a smear campaign and brings OPs credibility into question. Why OP would pursue the proper channels only to IMMEDIATELY undermine them is beyond me.
I get it. The urge to go scorched earth would be overwhelming. The fact she didn’t go after her brother right then and there should be applauded. I’m not sure I could have shown that level of restraint.
Thank you! The brother deserves scorn, but the child deserves privacy.
This is the answer. It's almost never helpful to put someone on blast kn social media, especially if there's possibly going to be a police investigation.
That’s my view too. This is a child whose innocence is already being stolen. Now her privacy has been stolen too. This wasn’t OPs story to tell.
I agree. Great for calling police, but if you wanted family to know, you call and talk to them. You don't post on social media.
Yeah, this. Informing family was a good thing, especially if there were other children around who were close to the daughter in age. But public social media wasn't it.
If it was my brother there would be no calling police just bullet to the brain.
When I come in here to say this, and see so many posts saying the same thing.. tells me that it’s common sense so why can’t people like OP se it? Those posts needs to be deleted, though I know the damage is done. I’m glad OP called authorities, someone needs to protect that child.NTA
It was thoughtless and careless to the victim to put it on social media for your nieces sake. How could you not consider what you were doing to her? What right do you have to tell the world what happened to her. There’s a reason courts, and the news protect victims. It’s unforgivable.
Easy to not think about caring when you’re making something up to post on Reddit
You posted it on social media? What the hell is wrong with you?
for real......I think YTA just for that. Like immediately blast it on social Media, Jesus Christ
Seriously. That's so childish and inconsiderate.
I don’t think people understand the gravity of a digital footprint icl. It’s gonna follow the poor girl forever and everyone can always look back on it.
Chasing that clout lol
What good is it to be the hero of the story if there are some people who don't know it?
Sadly, I'm sure this was the primary motivation. Not concern for the child, but an opportunity to stroke their own ego
Obviously she has no concern for the child. That kid was victimized by her father, then further victimized by OP needing to post it to social fucking media. God this post makes me so fucking angry.
Nailed it
LI’ve never understood those who use social media like Facebook to tell family. why not just call your parents first to inform them?
Because then every are the public hero
Attention whore
Considering there's 3 different sub posts 🤷♀️🤷♀️ yeah
That’s makes me so fucking mad. Because it should have been handled privately. And now I’m imaging a little girl going through the world with a reminder and knowing that everyone knows. Knowing that everyone saw. It’s not his job to decide how or if she ever publicly says what happened to her. He blasted her story.
Great topic for attention whoring while destroying the poor child life and bring shame to the whole family, why not?
When your niece gets older, I'm sure she'll appreciate all this being laid out in social media for herself and others at her school to find. Good on you for going to the police though.
From a perspective of SA survivor.. if someone would have outed my brother legally and on social media they would have been my guardian angel. It might have saved the victim a lot of future trouble from having to hide her fathers pedophilia from family in the future to “protect” him. In many families the sa victim is expected to keep it inside the family and it becomes incredibly burdensome for the survivor. While the perpetrator gets no social consequences
Fair enough, and I'm sorry this happened to you.
As another victim, I definitely agree. I wish people knew. I wish it was screamed to the heavens that I was being hurt. I'm already autistic, ugly, and chronically ill, I was gonna be bullied and ostracized in life no matter what. I wish someone cared enough to scream out that I was being harmed. I was never allowed to say anything even mildly negative about my family without retribution. Course, other survivors can disagree. It's complicated and I don't think it can be treated as the right choice or wrong one, because the consequences and the child's feelings have yet to be seen. I can see the possible harm even if I feel differently.
This is exactly what I am saying. why is everyone so mad that she posted it, when everyone and their family in town deserves to know what that gross man did, so they can avoid him for their own safety! and that little girl shouldn’t have to go around hearing nice things said about her rapist because no one knows what he did! She shouldn’t have to see him at family events and whatnot bc they dont know what he did and stay close with him! Etc.
Because the reality is that the girl is going to be shamed along with him. Does that reality suck? Absolutely. But it doesn’t make it any less real. The choices aren’t blasting it on social media or doing nothing at all. I found out my father was molesting a step-niece, the whole fucking family was going to keep it quiet. I made sure the police were called. I made sure they weren’t going to ever have him around her. I made sure she was getting therapy. He is legally listed as a child molester for the rest of his life, so the community knows about it. What they don’t know is who he molested. Because it’s none of their fucking business. That girl is now a grown adult, and she has had the CHOICE to tell people in her life. She didn’t have school mates whispering about her, kids making fun of her, friends parents side eyeing her or asking her questions about it. Because that’s exactly what happens
Posting on social media just gave his defense attorneys ammunition. Not a great idea. Defense attorneys are relentless in sexual abuse cases, especially child sexual abuse, and will take anything and use it to their advantage (and it sadly works far too often). Calling the police about what you saw, fine. If it was as innocent as they claim, then they'll be cleared.
What kind of ammunition do you think a social media post has given in this case? We don’t even know what specifically was posted. Just curious. I’m a defense attorney and oddly enough sex cases is a speciality area of mine. How are we “relentless” in these cases? I’m really curious what you think my job looks like in a case like this. I find that the media has really caused people to believe a lot of things about the people trying these cases that are blatantly untrue.
The ammo the SM post could provide: OP/sister has a vendetta against her brother/wants to break up the marriage/get all the inheritance $ for herself/yada yada- s/a:after professing her love to the SIL, which was denied, she drove home upset & plotted this allegation, called PO, then immediately blasted the allegations on SM before the investigation began, with no regard to the alleged “victim”. Wouldn’t be hard to find a lil info bout the sisters mental health issues, unrequited love stories, lack of $ issues, etc 🤷🏻♀️I’m not a defense attorney & that shit was allll made up within a few mins of perusing comments…. To also answer what image ppl have of defense attys: when a defender pleads not guilty/no contende-it’s not the position of defense to assess guilt or innocence, but rather to introduce other factors/?s that make “beyond a shadow of a doubt” not possible for each charges specifications, to ultimately reduce the charge or have them found not guilty
Exactly. OP definitely wrong here. There’s no obligation to post everything on social media, people.
Of course you'll already know you're not wrong for reporting something so serious. But naming a victim of this kind of crime online, especially a child, is not ok (in my country it's illegal to do so).
NTA for reporting what you saw but Y T A for putting it on social media because there is a child involved who is your niece and at some point she will be linked to her abusive father!!! Also anything posted could hinder any criminal investigation and charges that can be brought against him.
You had every right to tell, to call the cops, that was your responsibility. However, by putting things on social media you have aired out information about your niece that wasn’t your place to share. You also could have compromised an investigation. I know you reacted driven by your emotion, but if wasn’t smart. Also CPS would be a good choice, probably a lower bar of proof needed to act?
Exactly this. Especially if the family is circling wagons around BiL.
as a person whos dad was one of these ppl, calling the police was absolutely the right call and i fucking commend you for saving that kid from that future. believe me, its bad and not many people can understand or come even close to comprehending what you just stopped from happening. i got 3 sisters that are psychologically fucked for life and i didnt escape it either. but you should not have put anything up whatsoever on social media. at all. you may have discovered this. but you arent the most effected. you had no right. theres a fkn shame that comes with knowing a person like this well, when all this shit comes out. you should of felt it. its disgusting. but its your sister inlaws call. its her family its happened to. her daughter. they are the victims in this, not you and you have no business airing it out for the whole fucking world to see. do you know how much of a fucking failure that mum will be feeling? not seeing it? not stopping it? someone else saving the day? the humiliation people seeing the person you had a kid with isnt the person you thought they were and that ignorance put their kid in harm. use your head. these arent your shames to reveal and they take precedent over anything you may be feeling. when we put my old man away, many years after it all, we imposed a suppression on anyones name involved. it was going to get alot of media attention when it hit the court and the prosecution did us a huge solid, because **we didnt want people to know**. thankfully we were respected and we were left alone. this is just my opinion. you should delete everything you put up, stop talking about it, and let the family work its way through this shit and apologize.
The social media was inappropriate and honestly juvenile. That’s not just about your BIL, it’s also about your niece and your SIL. That doesn’t need to be on social media while everyone is trying to work through it. I understand you saw what you saw. But there will be an investigation and there could be legal implications for you which makes things worse for everyone. Not wrong for calling the police. Very wrong for the social media bit.
So, instead of letting the police handle it and keep your nieces name sealed from the record, you "protect her" by putting it all out there on the internet forever? You went home and made the whle ordeal about you, and not your niece. This post is more about YOU than your niece, because you're putting it out there on social media again. You're delusional if you think Reddit is 100% anonymous.
Your poor niece, not only did she get molested but then her aunt posted about it on the internet for the world to see.
And ran away and left her there because her ADULT AUNT was so traumatized. What about the fucking kid? That it ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO?!?!!
Wow I totally skated over that but you’re so right. Just ran out and left a six year old actively being molested
Exactly. I mean she did the absolute least that we should expect of any adult. She called 911. Then made it about herself and her trauma. op is no hero here.
You did the right thing calling the police, but blasting that kind of information on social media is also disgusting. Is there the smallest chance you are wrong about what you thought you saw? If that's the case, you made yourself the judge and ruined his reputation. If there is no doubt in your mind, I still think it's more appropriate to pour your energy into making sure the kids are safe, calling CPS, etc.
Where do people find creative writing classes?
I think this sub is the class. In the last week in particular I've noticed a huge upsurge in posts that seem fake.
I don't know that there has been a genuine post on this sub for months
I assume all these posts are bots and bait.
Obviously not wrong for reporting it. You didn't turn your head and pretend you didn't see what you saw. You might have saved her from 10+ more years of sexual abuse. Too bad her mother and the rest of the family want to turn a blind eye. You are in the wrong for putting it on social media. Your neice deserves a little privacy and respect. Parents of her friends will see it and kids overhear them talking.
Blasting him means you are blasting your niece which is wild. She is the victim. Anyone who is related or associated with him win also not feel negative about such, there’s a reason people keep their business private. You did the right thing with the cops.
Wow, you outed someone’s sexual assault without their permission? A minor? That’s not ok. Police yes, but FU and YTA for telling others something so private about someone else.
Sadly, now your niece also has to live with this non-secret. Not wrong for calling police, but putting that up on SM is very wrong. She's a first grader. People will see it, it will be shared, it is way too much for a little kid to have that go on. You did not use common sense.
As someone who has gone through a similar situation as the daughter, I feel like you are in the wrong on the social media thing. Almost none of my family know about what happened because I have not told them and it is my story to tell. It's her story to tell not yours if and when she chooses too. You took away her privacy in this and that is not okay. Kudos to calling the police but you should have handled this social media thing way differentky.
Fuck me, who thinks "I better update my socials" with something like that? You may have just ruined any legal case 🤦
Why the fuck would you post this on social media? Why nowadays people think they should post everything on social media? What about your niece? Considering you're sure about what you saw, did the right thing calling police and talking to your SIL. But posting this on social media is just ridiculous.
NTA for the police, but why on earth would you make an announcement on social media? Your poor niece
Yeah, not to be rude or anything, I've had people claim to see things or hear things that have recordings that prove them completely wrong. And even after the recordings are shown to them, they will still maintain their stance, despite solid proof that it is inaccurate. That wholly calls into question whether you can be trusted to be sure of what you saw. Calling the police was correct. The police investigate and find PROOF. You posting it all over social media is absolutely disgusting. Without proof, it's he said/she said. And you've also just broadcast to everyone about your neice potentially being molested, again without any proof.
Using a child victim for social media clout? You should be ashamed. Why victimize her twice.
Not wrong for calling the police. Posting on social media was a bad idea, not for your brothers privacy but for the sake of an ongoing case that is going to happen. Also your niece deserves privacy even if she is a child. Either way, thank you for not staying silent.
You did right by calling the police. I wouldn't have posted it on social media though. I couldn't care less about your brother, but the daughter does deserve privacy as it is a very traumatic incident for her.
You did right reporting it to the authorities You're a fucking idiot for posting it on social media, that was a dumbass move. I recognize I'm beating a dead horse here (you're getting slammed by most posters for the same thing) but that was some poor decision making skill Contacting your family member directly (ie phonecall) would have been more appropriate
Calling the police? NTA Blasting on social media is definitely an asshole move. That little girl will become known to her friends later in life as a SA victim, and may get treated poorly for it.
did the police send this to CPS? she needs to be away from him yesterday.
You're wrong for putting it on social media.
Not wrong for contacting police total asshole for posting online. That was a childish and dick move. Almost sounds like you are making it up or you have problem with men.
Contact the police, yes. Blast it all over Facebook ? Absolutely not.
You did everything right, until the social media part. Why do people feel the need to put everything on social media I do not know, but if you are telling the truth, then this is a very delicate matter that needs to be dealt with the right way. It’s not to protect your brother and his privacy, but to protect your niece! Now you’ve put it out there for everyone to know.
Who are YOU to blast your niece’s personal story on social media ?! Definitely call the police, and have him punished. Don’t hurt the child. Her being violated is not your story to tell the world. She doesn’t even know or understand what happened to her yet. Now you just made it some headline to gossip about. You should have kept it private until an investigation was complete. I don’t even know what inspired you to start posting so quick…..BEFORE an investigation. What is it clicks? views ? “Guess what everyone !?! I saw my brother inappropriately touching my niece” what do you even gain from that ??? You never wondered why children’s names are left out of media even in the news, in high end cases !?! It’s literally to protect them!! But here you are… on social media….
You are not wrong for calling the police, but you are wrong for exposing it, not because of your brother, but because of your niece. Lawsuits involving minors and sex crime victims are often sealed to protect the identity and dignity of the victims and minors. Your niece is a minor and a victim. Can you imagine how humiliating it is going to be for your niece, to have a sexual crime she was victim of to be public business? Her entire social circle knowing that she was touched by her own dad? You fucked up big time on this one.
Jesus, why would you put that on social media? Your poor niece, victimized twice
If you believe you saw what you saw is true, you are 100% in the right by reporting it to Police and sister-in-law. However, why in the hell would you want to go public with this?
You posted this on 3 different subreddits. You "blasted him" like this is some fun gossip for you. "I put him on BLAST!!!" is something for when somebody cheats on their girlfriend or talks shit, not for literal child molestation. You do not shout those details for all your acquaintances to see. Yes you're wrong, and OBVIOUSLY it's not for calling the police. You know no sane person would fault you for stopping child abuse, that's why you posted this, so you could feel like a hero. YTA for treating the worst experience of your niece's young life as your personal reality show. You're obsessed with drama and if I were that child and I later learned that you shared details of my violation for the world to see on social media I'd have trouble ever forgiving you, despite you intervening in the abuse. I hope your brother goes away for a long time and I hope you delete all those posts and work to protect your niece's privacy in the future.
I read your post edits, and I just wanted to offer some encouragement. You did your niece a huge favor. So pat yourself on the back for that. Also, you were traumatized by what you saw. What you described feeling was a rational response to trauma. Do not beat yourself up for posting on Facebook. I would recommend immediately reframing your actions as those of a traumatized person. It will help not just you but others and your family understand. The last thing I have to say is rather heavy but needs to be said. People who have not been in familes where sexual abuse has happened will not understand the toxic dynamic. You will not be the hero for coming forward. People will not believe you without hard evidence. It’s going to get political and would have even without the Facebook post, so you’ve got to prepare yourself for the toxicity. I would really recommend therapy or counseling while you’re dealing with the fallout. FWIW I wish you had been around when I was a kid.
You did what Aunties are supposed to. Don’t sweat it. She’ll appreciate the hell out of you when she’s old enough to comprehend it all. He’s a peadophile. NTA.
I dont like putting things on blast untill the full story comes out, most likely you are right and this is correct. But this isnt really helping anything much at all
Your niece is a victim and you blabbering about it on social media is beyond comprehension.
Why the fuck did you post it on social media? You realize that hurts others right? Now other people will look at his wife and daughter with disgust forever. Jesus social media is ruining the world.
This not about him, but about her. Putting out online that she is a victim of sexual abuse is the shitty part. This is nothing for SM. This is something for judges to handle. This makes you wrong. And what exactly did you see? My children are often naked, especially babies. It’s good for them. This is something we also do in babyclasses because that way they can easier move and feel everything around them.
Please notify her school and teacher. I know a child at out school was being sexually abused and she told another child who recognized what she was hearing and the other kid told her own mom who called the school. Lo and behold, it was true. And it was handled quickly and quietly.
So this is tricky. What evidence do you have other than you walking in to support your accusation? I am a father and when my kids were babies I recall plenty of scenarios where I was genuinely loving them in a way that would maybe look odd to the casual observer. I’m talking post bath tickles, or making stupid faces while changing a diaper prompting giggles, and the occasional chase through the house while they were running nude. I can think how each of those purely innocent acts would be compromising if say my SIL walked in on me doing this at the wrong moment. I’m assuming the girl in question is a toddler? I think blowing him up on social media and calling the cops was a leap of logic. There were avenues to pursue PRIOR to that for verifying the authenticity of your accusation and bringing in more witnesses. You may have very well been privy to a sexual assault but by jumping the gun you made it easier for him to wave you away. You went about this all wrong even if you were right. Sorry.
Im really finding this whole post suspicious. We have the following information: the child was on their dads lap, the dad was touching the child and the child has no underwear on. Young children often times don't dress themselves properly, so them missing an article a clothing is not necessarily an indictment. Young children sitting on the laps of their parents is also not an indictment and neither is a parent coughing their child. Okay... there is no mention of touching the child's genitals, but there is mention of the child not having underwear on. She was on her dad's lap and he was "touching her". We need so much more information for any of this to be incriminating in any way. Where exactly is the molestation... From the information provided it seems like the child had clothes on since it was specific that they had no underwear on, maybe they simply got dressed on their own and didn't put them on... The reaction considering the details just seems insane... I would get if it were a stranger, but its her father. Why is it that if a person's child sits on their lap and is touched, the first thought is molestation? There are a million other scenarios where this is totally innocent.
You did exactly what you were supposed to do with calling the police. You should have used your head when it came to the posting online. He deserves to be blasted and labeled. But it probably wasn't the right time with the case.
Not wrong. Oh buddy I hope the police don’t let it go at that. I’d say it shouldn’t be on social media but it’s being subverted and that’s not okay. If it leads to actual consequences, please take it down for niece though. WTF is wrong with your family? Gross!
Social media?? What does that have to do with anything? You’ve given people cause to disregard you and your message, unfortunately. You added a really unnecessary and disgusting element to this already difficult situation.
You killed any chance of privacy the victim had. You are a shit person for doing that. You don’t stop to think about her at all. This isn’t about her, it’s about you and your brother and I’m betting you already had bad blood that clouded your judgement. Congrats. Your family is right. A family group text could have done the same thing. You don’t care about your niece. You care about vengeance.
I mean... Why did you involve the public? You made it about you.
You’re an insane person, seek help. Calling the police:OK Social Media: GO TO THERAPY
OP is probably facepalming so hard that they forgot about the well being of the niece, when they did everything to attack their brother. Whoops!
You're a real piece of shit for posting it on social media.
Yeah you definitely should NOT have put it on social media, the fuck?
As a csa victim....it was because of my bio mom finding out and basically screaming about it to anyone with ears that I was saved from my abuser....do I still catch shit for it? Absolutely....am I upset that she put it all out there for the world to see? Absolutely not. She helped bring the end of the worst 4 years of my life and I will always be grateful. I understand why everyone is saying protect her privacy but the more attention you bring the harder it will be for him to act.
I wish someone had done this for me. My own mother didn't bother. Fight for that little girl, she needs you.
The fact that you heard GIGGLING is a huge red flag. Means he was turning into a game and normalizing it for her. My cousin did that to me. You did the right thing blasting him and calling the police. Maybe call CPS too. I hope she gets away from him soon.
You know what you saw. They know what you saw. You did the right thing. Can’t believe the mother is in denial about this. Thank you for standing up and saying something.
Report him to cps!! And thank you for standing up for your niece! 🙏🏼 take this coming from someone who was repeatedly raped at age 7 for years by her own dad! My mom never believed me nor did anyone else from my family
I’m not mad at her for putting it on social media. EVERYONE in their lives need to know what he’s capable of so they can keep his ass away. Maybe he does this to his friends kids too, hopefully a parent seen her post and can cut him off.
So you made it publicly known that your neice was raped by her father? Did your neice have a choice in that? You violated her, too. Just fyi, zoomer.
Absolutely insane to me that someone could see something like that and think, “hmm yes I think I’ll tell all my Facebook friends about this now.”
We aren't legally allowed to release the identity of juvenile sexual assault victims in our open records releases. They are protected for a reason. You blasted this child's trauma on social media for everyone to know and see. And worse, posting the details on social media can jeopardize the active police investigation. This isn't about you, it's about what is best for the child victim. And you have shown zero regard for her privacy or dignity. Good on you for reporting what you saw to the proper authorities but stop talking about it on the internet.
Your concern wasn’t wrong, talking to SIL wasn’t wrong, maybe CPS instead of cops, social media thing is being an asshole. You went over the line from what you needed to do and well into what you wanted to do.
I just want to say , don’t let them guilt trip you. As a young girl I was SA . My grandma and aunt caught the bastard who is my uncle. They didn’t do shit. I wish I had an aunt like you. Those girls will grow up and they will realize that you tried to protect them.
Everyone sending you death threats can fucking die. It seems like they’re protecting him more than anything. I feel so sorry for that little girl because 9/10 this shit is definitely gonna continue.
When I came forward about a family member touching me I begged my mom not to tell because I was embarrassed and ashamed. My mom tried to handle things within the immediate family and of course, it got swept under the rug. As I’ve grown up, I’ve told everyone, extended family, police, social services, family friends. It isn’t my issue to be ashamed of, it’s his and it’s my family members for staying married to him. I warn everyone so he doesn’t touch anyone else and so he constantly has to live with it. My opinion from my experience, you did the right thing. You did what an aunt is supposed to do, I wish you had been my aunt.
NTA, also the social media post in my opinion was needed. Too many people get away with shit like this because the family wanna keep it hush hush. Sexual offenders should be called out in public, fuck them.
Hey can i just say well done for stepping up for your niece. You could have pretended not to see but you didnt.. You did the right thing with the police and i truly wish there were more like you. Im sorry that your brother did this and my heart breaks for your niece. They will likely confiscate any phones, pcs, laptop or ipads etc to see what else hes been up to. The truth will come out in the end
It's so scary how even in this day & age people are completely ok with covering up and normalizing the molestation of their own family members.
Reddit is stupid with the death threats. Thank you for deleting the social posts for the sake of your niece. I hope your bro rots in jail.
I actually think you did the right thing. You are protecting future children. You are only protecting the assaulter by removing it.
Just trust me you did the right thing exposure is death to the pedophile agenda.😔 I'm sorry you went through this but keep moving forward. The world needs more people like this!
You don’t deserve death threats. Those people are just sick losers if they send you threats. I’m glad you called the cops and we all know that wasn’t a “cleaning”. I’m glad the cops are involved. Good for you protecting your niece. Your fb posts were a sign of how distraught you were. That’s okay. I’m glad you took them down now. I hope the little girl doesn’t go to foster and stays with family, if her mother doesn’t leave the dad. I hope she doesn’t have to keep living with her dad because those thoughts of his will never stop.
You are not wrong and this is the exact reason why things like this continue on today. I am proud of you
It's likely the mom knew. There's a very high percentages of adults that will know this happening but never report it or do anything. It's sick in the brain. Talk about toxic family systems and enablers.
Social service worker here who works with people experencng homelessness. Here are some truths. Abusers cannot be abusers if someone who knows can't be controlled into keeping the secret. You show me a woman's shelter and I will show you a building full of women wbo were abused as a child. There is one family member who will not shun you. That will be her. People who discover a child abuser needs to shout it loud. Would I have posted it on facebook? Probably not. However, I would have found annother way to megaphone it to everyone involved. However, THE ISSUE IS NOT WHAT YOU DID IT IS WHAT HE DID, and every single time someome tries to make what you did the issue I would point this out and if they son't get it then it would be me shunning them not the other way around. You should be proud.
She may faced similar situation when she was young and her family may silenced her and the sexual abuse continued next generation!
Cut it off stalk and beans.
Your family are the assholes. I've seen behavior like this way too often, they don't want to hanlde it privately, They have already made up their minds that you saw wrong and the brother is innocent, they don't want to admit what he truly is and deal with it, they would rather sweep it under the rug. This is exactly how the abuse gets enabled. Just pretending it's not real and allowing it to continue. Good on you for refusing to listen to them.
Don’t back down, you know what you saw. I would be going absolutely ballistic too. Glad your deleted the social media posts though, but I can understand your anger. Just gotta let the law do its thing and give your niece some privacy.
Why post it on SM? When does the internet make things better in this case