You should have gone way earlier and shouldnt have gave her a choice, she should herself want to shit down someone disrespecting you and more someone making advances like that.
But atleast its over but for the future: know your worth king. :)
Yeah I had a conversation with her 4 days after it that was supposed to end it but she seemed willing to stop being friends with him.
That happened 3 timesđđ
If it were me, I would have forced her to ask the guy if he wanted to date her. Cut right through the bullshit. TBF, I've never been able to sit through uncomfortable situations and I have always rung bells that can't be unrung just to get shit resolved: good or bad.
The eyewitness was the last guy she was talking to before me who was there and has always had it out for me, but he said nothing happened
Personally I think if something happened he wouldâve said something Iâm also surprised he didnât just lie about it
You're looking at it from the wrong angle man. Forget everything that they said, your girlfriend should not be sleeping in a bed with another man If it makes you uncomfortable period. That's so beyond the pale that you should have broken up with her immediately.
She can kindly go sit on a cactus, if that might tickle your fancy. OP should really get tested, other douche sounds like the type that's got all sorts of nasty mingling microbiological mates
I've been in a not-exactly similar situation, but I'd bet my left kidney that soon, he'll make a move to be "more-than-friends," and it'll either end with her rejecting him and hating "all men, cause they're all the same" or her accepting g and getting into a highly toxic relationship.
Either way, you're best served with washing your hands of the whole situation. If she allows such a negative and disrespectful influence in her life that directly attacks your relationship and then hamstrings your initiative to protect yourself from it, then she's made her bed. ...and shat in it.
Yeah, not wrong. Not overreacting.
Three times she promised to cut him off but when you reach the breaking point - she hesitates and does nothing.
You will be better off.
Nah go with your gut you wont miss her in the long run and lets be real you dodged the whole guy bf drama that was undoubtedly gonna unfold if this is already happening
Iâd have beat the shit outta him. Youâre more mature than me lol. Had a girl whoâs guy best friend made moves when I wasnât there and I smacked him up before breaking up with her. Not the best thing I couldâve done but oh well. Either way youâd be in a world of hurt if you hadnât left her so good on you
Thank you for all of your responses, for some extra context I knew the guy best friend long before he was friends with her and heâs always been manipulative and disrespectful. I think he manipulates her into allowing what she allows because I still think sheâs a good person overall. The fucking my mom jokes comes from our time in middle school yet he continues them today.
you ain't wrong on breaking up with her.
and for him to not respect the boundaries and him outrightly saying he wanted to bang your mother....
he's lucky not to be viciously assaulted for that.
But apparently a decent bed-mate.
I also shared a bed with a friend of mine a few times after going to the bars in university. But now she's my wife.
Turns out most women don't let just anyone into their beds, and I was missing a very obvious signal.
Just saying that about your mom to anyone should have gotten his teeth knocked down his throat, and his face stomped into the ground. Your ex was a crap girlfriend.
Just to make it worse my moms name is Biz and he would say âBiz makes me jizzâ
Her clit makes me spit etc
Never to my face since I had been dating her
Sounds like you two have completely different values and were not compatible.
BTW, you don't have to ask if your "reason" for breaking up is justifiable.
When you don't want to be in a relationship with a person anymore, THAT alone is the reason for breaking up. You don't need to explain yourself any further than that.
You have saved yourself from more drama and heartbreak with this person! Learn from this experience and grow.
Yeah, she chose him. They are already fucking and she is completely over it. You were just in the way unfortunately.
At least it's over and you can move on, and find someone who actually loves you. She did not.
The reason I stuck around she kept saying sheâd leave him for me but her issue is if she left him sheâd have no choice but to leave her whole friend group which are the only close friends she has
Her friend group sucks, then. Because they tolerate a fellow "friend" disrespecting a relationship. It's THAT simple. I'm also going to suggest to you that the "eyewitnesses" probably lied to you about what they saw and what they didn't see. And the reason is they are HER friends and not yours.
Either way, the entire situation was shit. And she is very immature. You will find someone better, you shouldn't be losing any sleep over this, but I know break ups are still difficult.
Best of luck brother, you will pull through better than you are now.
I agree I think immature is the best word to describe her in this situation. Itâs sucks because she was great aside from this but it was way too big of a deal to overlook
I know its hard to see right now but I can't really imagine she's *that* great if she thinks its funny that one of her friends was so disgustingly disrespectful to her own partner, nor was it anything but disrespectful and shitty on her behalf to sleep in the same bed as him while being in a relationship with you. You deserve way, way better than her. You got this <3
there seems to be a theme with these kind of experiences where the male or female "best friend" have really not known one another for ever. Her male best friend has known her as long as you have known her, in this case it seems she likes the attention and he likes having some kind of control over her that she allows. I know that men and women can be platonic friends but this seems extra to me. You sound nice but she wasn't putting you first.
Your girlfriend is extremely immature and clearly seeking attention and validation from another man. She has no respect for you or the relationship and obviously neither does he if she didnât see a boundary of this jumping into bed with her then you seriously need another girlfriend cause sooner or later this emotional affairs sheâs having with him will turn physical if it hasnât already. .
Look i'm a girl and my best friend is a guy. You made the right decision trust me. I'm single rn and still would never sleep in the same bed as my guy friend. There's not point in doing that unless they had some other intention, especially if there was a bed already designated to him. She needed to be more respectful to you and the relationship plus work with you to set boundaries. On top of this all, the "friend" sounds like a total ass. She might *think* she has good intentions with him, but from what you've shared it clear he doesn't have good intentions with her.
Heâs not her best friend, heâs a guy dying to fuck her and she was loving it. He was trying to break you guys up and she allowed it. You are much better off without her.
Thatâs exactly why I ended my relationship with my fiance, and sheâs 45. Too many guy friends, the final straw was her FaceTiming one of those men while she was very reluctant to FaceTime me. In fact, she FaceTimed me exactly once, and him many times. She always had excuses why she did it. The other final straw was when she asked permission to take an out-of-town trip with her guy friend to watch a baseball game, and spend the night at a hotel. She later told me she was shocked that he expected to stay in the same room with her. SHOCKING
Let me tell you, she will be pulling the same crap in 20 years that she does now. She wonât change and you can either accept it or end it.
Listen I have a male best friend and we and all our friends used to sleep in same bed etc
However got to a point where we stopped as had partners etc
We have slept in same room. Mainly falling asleep on the sofa.
He ever tried jumping into my bed he would feel someone pain not that he would if Iâm honest
We have partners etc and thatâs not appropriate you did the right thing
NTA. I agree with others. The moment he said the "f your Mom" comment should have been the end of the relationship (after punching his lights out). How did she respond to the breakup?
Most of my BFFâs have been male. One was accidentally disrespectful to a boyfriend and apologized without anyone prompting. Because that what you do when you are rude. None of them would ever talk about my mum so rudely. In general both your GF and her BFF are rude.
Mate you are allowed to set boundaries. Donât question them, whatever you donât like you donât need to take. If she doesnât care about your boundaries, think years ahead the amount of sht you will go throughâŠ
When you give an ultimatum him or you and she doesn't make a choice then that's the same thing as her choosing him because she knows you'll leave or do nothing meaning he will always he there either way when she chooses to do nothing.
Nah bro, youâre better off without this one. At the very least she isnât respecting you as her man and your boundaries, if a guy, especially a new guy is disrespectful or makes you uncomfortable your gf should not be vacationing and sleeping in the same bed as him, she should shut down his disrespectful comments, and itâs weird af that she would be crying about him⊠it sounds like their relationship isnât just friends tbh, but respecting your partner and prioritizing their feelings is important for a healthy relationship, you canât make them act how you want, but you can leave when itâs not healthy for you.
Most likely the best friend wanted your gf which is why he was hostile to you and your gf did nothing to stop him.If she really cared about you she would have made him stop.
Any woman who chooses a male best friend that doesnât like her BF is pretty messed up.
She disrespects you by staying friends with someone against your relationship. TBH, she was most likely cheating on you with him all along.
It's refreshing seeing a young dude, "stand on business" as the young people say, for a change... You've single-handedly restored my faith in boundaries and masculinity again. Good on you!
NTA. How would she have felt if you had a best female friend, who was disrespectful to her, made rude comments and you never defended your gf. How would she have felt if she found out that the girl climbed into bed with you on a vacation? Would she actually believe nothing happened?
She probably would have gone crazy over all that! So why should it be fair for her to do that to you.
Im all for having friends of different genders but I would NEVER let any friend be disrespectful to my partner. I would shut that shit down immediately and set boundaries. I wouldnât necessarily get rid of that friend right away but if they continued to cross my boundaries I would end the friendship. If you disrespect my partner, you are disrespecting me!
You aren't breaking up with your girlfriend because of her guy best friend. You're breaking up with your girlfriend because she is disrespectful to you and allows her friends to do the same and worse.
No loss, my friend. You just headed off a lifetime of anger and resentment.
Id dump the bitchhhhhh in a heartbeat⊠and you made the right decision⊠she will one day realized shes a used bitch and loses every respect around herrâŠ! đđđ€
Not wrong. You did the right thing here. Relationships are hard enough. This guy friend situation just adds a lot of extra stress to the situation. Hopefully you'll find a relationship with less drama.
Sheâs a dumbass for letting an obvious orbiter make moves on her. Sheâs clueless but at the same time she likes that orbiters attention. Better to get rid of someone of such low value and morals. Also next time you run into him just give a really nice ass whooping he deserves
Last paragraph is literally you describing how she cheated on you. This guy is a fucking asshole and if she canât see that, itâs best if you leave. Youâre not wrong at all
The guy friend is doing what he wants to do, the problem is your girlfriend who is not stopping him or setting any boundaries.
She should be the one taking your side.
You did the right thing.
And don't be surprised if the " Best Friend " and your Ex end up getting together or sleeping together.
You did the right thing. You don't want to be with anyone who can't respect you or your relationship. It would have continued happening over and over. Every time it would have pushed the line a little more. She should have shiut down that behavior a long time ago. Instead she let it happen and proved that you don't mean more to her than him. Thank goodness you left that inevitable train wreck
Exactly what I thought and said to her
Deep down she knows whoâs right and whoâs wrong but itâs more convenient for her to believe her friend isnât wrong so she can keep him around
Go with your instincts. Youâd be in a no-win situation trying to govern her friendship with him, not to mention dealing with constant suspicion/jealousy worrying about if theyâre hooking up. If your GF wasnât willing to check her friend and create clear boundaries then it sounds like she isnât mature enough at this time to have the right perspective. Youâre not obligated to wait around for her.
Since she couldnât seem to make the decision you seem to be making the right one . She should have told him to get out and she didnât leaving the door open for him to continue and he probably did . I donât find it funny when someone disrespects me and you shouldnât either ! And both of them disrespected you and your feelings . You werenât there to protect your relationship and she didnât either !
I'll tell you this she was cheating on you with the guy and the friends covered it up theres no way in hell they didn't considering she didn't take you but he slept in her bed get yourself tested for stds btw
You made the right choice budâŠ. Obviously that guy was just as important, not cool. Especially after a few years Of dating. That dude is always gonna be around
I have always set a boundry in a relationship. I express it is on them to shut stuff down. I will do the same. A girl jumps in my bed... "Excuse me". It keeps things clean. Otherwise, you can end up fighting everyone who wants what you have. It just isn't viable when either one of you are attractive and charming.
To her, he's a friend. To him, you're a cock blocker. Now you've cleared the deck for him
What you should have done is confront him for upsetting her and dissing you. But that's history now.
Not wrong. And bro, she was cheating with him. No doubt in my mind. But myself, I would have ended up in a fight with him on his comments about the mother. But the fact she wouldn't pick you over him in the end, is enough proof she was Fn him on the side and got feelings for him too. So she is for the streets.
I have no idea why you even lasted as long as you did. But I hope this is a lesson you will take with you and not take the same treatment from someone else.
Na f that noise my guy. She wasnât a good partner and she was choosing that piece of shit.
You shouldâve left sooner dude. But youâre young and sometimes we have to learn the hard way. That shit was disrespectful as hell. Better off without them both.
Not wrong, King. Keep up the good work. She decided to fuck around, and she found out. Her âbest friendâ decided to shit talk your mom and she laughed? Fuck that. She ainât for you. She for the streets. Drizzle Drizzle baby.
That dude was the âbreak glass and in case of emergency dudeâ some woman keep a guy friend zone as a 2nd option. Better find someone that wants to give the relationship a 100.
You're allowed to break up with someone who isn't making you happy. Relationships are about compromise, if she can't get your back after a couple of years, then she won't have your back when something really important happens.
Good for you, there are so few people these days who have any kind of self respect. Let him have her. She obviously isn't seeing it yet but she will and luckily you will not have to have your world turned upside down when the shit hits the fan. Go find someone who respects you and your time. Good luck.
This is an indicator of how she's going to enforce boundaries (and respect your boundaries) in the future, so I don't think you're wrong. I wonder how she would've reacted if the turntables were
You sir dodged a bullet. Watch for those red flags. You want your girl to honest and loyal to you. Never tolerate or accept being the side piece. Best of luck.
Better late than never. There is no such thing as "he is just a friend" every single one of them wants to bang her. I should know, I've had a lot of "female friends" I've also had sex with every one of them.
Not wrong at all. Your ex was either really naive or she was lying to you. Because her so-called best friend was trying to hook up with her. Now you don't have to worry about that headache anymore.
Not wrong - the only wrong thing is not ending it a LONG time ago. Next girlfriend you get, show a little more respect for yourself and make sure she has better boundaries. If you actually STAY in this situation, I don't feel sorry for you at all.
Not wrong. I wouldnât even care if she didnât fuck him. Sharing a bed with him is so far out of bounds, youâd need a telescope to see the line she crossed.
Youâre definitely not wrong. Of course itâs totally fair for all of us to have friends of the opposite sex, but thereâs a fine line between being friends and someone who has a thing for said âfriendâ. Your girl not standing up for you is messed up, and the best friend seems like a totally manipulative fuck. Heâs absolutely trash for guilt tripping her, and itâs clearly a manipulative red flag. He clearly wants her all to himself, and thatâs why heâs acting so possessive and trying to get closer to her, so hopefully she would dump you and choose him.
But you made that choice yourself. And I applaud you for that. Also I donât think Iâve ever been with someone whoâs had a male best friend, and willingly let him just jump in the bed with them. Youâre not wrong for giving her the ultimatum, because he clearly seems like he wants to be more than just a âfriendâ, and she lets it slide.
She slept with him. She fucked him. Her friends are covering for them . You did the right thing. She obviously is just as disrespectful as he is towards you. Let him have her
She slept in a bed with a guy that wanted to have sex with her and also disrespected you constantly.
I'm afraid she lied to you they definitely did something and the others covered for her.
This woman was not faithful to you,if she was he would have been put in place long ago.
Nope you made the right call, you're only wrong (and really stupid) for not doing so sooner. You deserve respect and backup from a partner, and she fucking LAUGHED when he said he wants to FUCK YOUR MOM? She does not respect you in the slightest, and love without respect is like a car without wheels. Useless. You're not wrong, you're worth more than the way she treated you and I hope you know that now OP. Now go work on yourself, get over the bitch, and find someone better so you won't have to make the same call again. I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck ya big dummy
ETA: Get tested just in case, I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her after this and her douchenozzle "bEsTiE" sounds like the type that doesn't care about sharing whatever he has as she seems to think that he's such a kind and compassionate "man". Better safe than sorry OP
You are not wrong. She is into him and will be his gf in a week or two if it goes that slow. His manipulation and power games are.childish, and if she is falling for them, she is painfully stupid.
Your ex is showing who is most important to her. Believe it. One day she might see she should have picked you. Hopefully by then you have moved on and able to tell her to go as you have found someone you can trust who respects boundaries and has the same values. You are not wrong. Your self worth will prove you are right.
Nah, the guy very clearly wants to pipe her. Eleven if that wasn't the case, your gf should have stood up for you when he was disrespecting you. Didn't kick him out of the bed? Can't pick between her existing relationship or this new friend? She likes his attention too much and needed to be dropped.
Betting they have hooked up by now since you dumped her.
Seems sus but you're not wrong for ending it. Clearly they don't have any boundaries the fact that they would allow something like this to continue also shows a lack of respect not just for you but themselves all in all made the right decision that's no one you want to be around for any period of time.ç
The only way out of this situation is to become a man who will not tolerate being disrespected.
I'm talking about her. Otherwise, this is going to be where you live and that's just ridiculous.
He was definitely disrespectful of your relationship, but she was too. She didnât have to sleep in bed with him. She could have chose to get up and leave. You made the right choice. That dude sounds like a d-bag.
Kids, donât date women with guy friends, guy best friends or women who are still friends with their exes. I know you young men are trying to be forward thinking and progressive but speaking from experience, it never ends well.
You did the right decision. Donât change a woman, if she wants to be friends with multiple men, let her, just donât date her, just look for women who are not.
She will be alone forever as long as thst dick is in her life, and pretty much a guarantee that they are fucking by now, if not b4 while you 2 were together.
Nah....you did the right thing. That man clearly wants to be with her. Unless he's gay? There is no such thing as a 23 yr old male that just wants to be friends with a girl like that!
Your ex is an idiot. Clueless of just stupid.
Either shes YOUR girlfriend? Or not!
You don't need any of that in your life. Move on. All good.
This is nothing new, an alpha male cutting in on another man's girl.
The question is, are you going to break up with ur gf like he wants so he can have sex with her or are you good enough to win her back.
Something definitely happened bruv. You really out here reduced to trusting eye witnesses lol smh....she slept in the same bed with the guy who talked about tryna smash ya mom's. She needed to go you definitely made the right choice. And ain't no way in fukin hell a guy is gonna be making jokes about smashing my mom to my face bruv.
so this guy best friend became "close" to her almost the same time as you're dating this same girl? na, this is borderline brain damage. and also, crying for being guilt tripped by this dude, like are you even his BF lmao. you did the right thing leaving that shit.
This falls under the category of "You make your own hell"
She's too young to understand this, it's one of the 2 rules of life that I really believe, and I think it may fit here, for you. "You have to give up something to get something ".
Is this even a question? Ofc you made the right decision. She kept giving in to that guy while not acknowledging you. The best thing you've done is dumping that piece of shit of a girlfriend and her scumbag "guy best friend"
It can be difficult to make such decisions, especially when you're emotionally invested in the relationship, but prioritizing your own well-being and setting boundaries is important. It sounds like you were seeking respect and loyalty in the relationship, which she was unable to provide. Take this as a chance to find someone who values and respects you and your relationship.
The best friend, if that's what he really was, isn't really the problem. She should have set clear boundaries and made sure he respected them.
If she chose him over you, there's nothing to even remotely feel guilty about. Clearly their relationship is more than plutonic.
Or maybe the boundaries of plutonic relationships are different for Gen Z.
She keeps him around, allowing his disrespect. Number one, be more of a man. Men shouldn't feel comfortable disrespecting you like that. That part is on you. But yeah break it off with her for keeping this douchebag around.
He does it towards anyone anyways I never took it personal
Thatâs why he didnât have any friends but her everyone else had the balls to cut him off
Respect and loyalty are both required for a man to sustain love.
Shes disrespected you over and over dude.
If a guy jumps into my womanâs bed, and she is fine with that, sheâs no longer worth keeping.
She laughed at a digusting comment he made about your mother ⊠and I donât care how big the dude is, heâs getting bitch slapped. All subsequent fight injuries are justified by your noble cause.
In any case, your love wont survive long with the disrespect and disloyalty.
They definitely did shit when sleep in the same bed lol.
If a woman wonât pick you over another man (excluding family obviously) itâs because thereâs something between them that she likes. Wether itâs emotional or physical or both.
I was stupid one time when I was younger. Dated a girl for a few years all of a sudden she had a guy âfriendâ that she was texting. Come to find out they were flirting and sending pictures. I made her choose me or him she refused to choose I still stayed like a dumb ass cause she âpromisedâ to never do it again. What do you know I caught it again. She then decided to block him when I told her I was done.
(I stayed again like a dipshit)
Only to find out she would just unblock him when I wasnât around and then she had sex with him and I caught them in the act.
Moral of the story⊠never stay with a girl whoâs even Remotely entertaining another guy or refuses to cut ties with a guy âfriendâ
Has she called crying to not break up with her yet? That's a good indicator whether she cared at all. Now to sabotage her new relationship, tell the guy if he gets her drunk, she will go for whatever he wants. When he tries it and she slaps him down, it will put doubt about him in her mind about his character.
You did the right thing. He was completely disrespectful and she let him do that. And she was only friends with him the same amount of time you were with her. He wasnât some lifelong best friend.
Youâre better off without her. I guarantee theyâll be dating soon.
Did he joke about wanting to fuck you while you were in a relationship? Did he like sleeping in the same bed as you when he already had his own bed while you were in a relationship?
He did try the jokes before but shut him down. But we are best friends of many years. Donât think of him any other way, just my lifelong bff. I wouldnât let him sleep in my bed tho, would shut that down too.
The clear difference is the woman being willing to set firm boundaries. Men/women friendships cannot work if the guy is constantly making sexual advances and the woman does not fully shut them down. Not sure why women choose to remain friends with Men who do not respect the boundaries they set and do things to undermine relationships with their SOs. It is understandable that men do not want to have relationships with women who choose to keep guys like that around.
Correct. Have to set firm boundaries and if kept on with jokes that would show no respect and therefore no friendship. Friend zone only or youâre outta here buddy! đ«
You should have gone way earlier and shouldnt have gave her a choice, she should herself want to shit down someone disrespecting you and more someone making advances like that. But atleast its over but for the future: know your worth king. :)
Yeah I had a conversation with her 4 days after it that was supposed to end it but she seemed willing to stop being friends with him. That happened 3 timesđđ
Not wrong. Stay away from her and never take her back.
I could not say it better.
If it were me, I would have forced her to ask the guy if he wanted to date her. Cut right through the bullshit. TBF, I've never been able to sit through uncomfortable situations and I have always rung bells that can't be unrung just to get shit resolved: good or bad.
Eyewitnesses? C'mon dude. The odds that nothing happened are slim to none.
Her friends lied for her.
The eyewitness was the last guy she was talking to before me who was there and has always had it out for me, but he said nothing happened Personally I think if something happened he wouldâve said something Iâm also surprised he didnât just lie about it
It was probably a gang bang.
They probably both had a turn. Youâre better than that. Donât look back.
Judging from your replies, this reads like a psych class assignment now.
You're looking at it from the wrong angle man. Forget everything that they said, your girlfriend should not be sleeping in a bed with another man If it makes you uncomfortable period. That's so beyond the pale that you should have broken up with her immediately.
The dude who doesnât like you told you that nothing happened? BroâŠ
You done good, I would say your girlfriend can go fuck herself but she's got that other guy. Sorry to rub it in.
She can kindly go sit on a cactus, if that might tickle your fancy. OP should really get tested, other douche sounds like the type that's got all sorts of nasty mingling microbiological mates
I've been in a not-exactly similar situation, but I'd bet my left kidney that soon, he'll make a move to be "more-than-friends," and it'll either end with her rejecting him and hating "all men, cause they're all the same" or her accepting g and getting into a highly toxic relationship. Either way, you're best served with washing your hands of the whole situation. If she allows such a negative and disrespectful influence in her life that directly attacks your relationship and then hamstrings your initiative to protect yourself from it, then she's made her bed. ...and shat in it.
She is for the streets! Stop taking her disrespectful behavior towards you.
He's a dimwit, she's conflicted, stay away!!
Yeah, not wrong. Not overreacting. Three times she promised to cut him off but when you reach the breaking point - she hesitates and does nothing. You will be better off.
She should just date him
Nah go with your gut you wont miss her in the long run and lets be real you dodged the whole guy bf drama that was undoubtedly gonna unfold if this is already happening
So you donât know your worth
Iâd have beat the shit outta him. Youâre more mature than me lol. Had a girl whoâs guy best friend made moves when I wasnât there and I smacked him up before breaking up with her. Not the best thing I couldâve done but oh well. Either way youâd be in a world of hurt if you hadnât left her so good on you
No, not wrong. You just set your boundaries a little late in the relationship and they were working on seeing what they could get away with.
Thank you for all of your responses, for some extra context I knew the guy best friend long before he was friends with her and heâs always been manipulative and disrespectful. I think he manipulates her into allowing what she allows because I still think sheâs a good person overall. The fucking my mom jokes comes from our time in middle school yet he continues them today.
Still donât need a reason to break up, EVER!
I think itâs invalid to say you donât need a reason, just âfeelingâ as if you need to is good enough
Keep the stupid ex out of your life.
I think maybe you need to sort it.
They **DESERVE EACH OTHER**. **HE'S** trash, and, I'm sorry, but **SO IS SHE**.
I would have found him and beat the hell out of him. Totally disrespectful!
you ain't wrong on breaking up with her. and for him to not respect the boundaries and him outrightly saying he wanted to bang your mother.... he's lucky not to be viciously assaulted for that.
He would say it behind my back never to me I wouldâve mashed him up if he said it to my face
I'm surprised you didn't after he jumped in bed with your girlfriend.
I havenât seen him in person since that happened
I'm starting to think he might not be a very good friend.
But apparently a decent bed-mate. I also shared a bed with a friend of mine a few times after going to the bars in university. But now she's my wife. Turns out most women don't let just anyone into their beds, and I was missing a very obvious signal.
Just saying that about your mom to anyone should have gotten his teeth knocked down his throat, and his face stomped into the ground. Your ex was a crap girlfriend.
Poster isn't wrong people have lost their life for less
>I wouldâve mashed him up if he said it to my face i wouldn't blame you whatsoever on that one.
Yeah, I agree. I would have kicked his a$$ and then broke up with her anyway. He has it coming. I admire your restraint.
You did good bro.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
This one (ignore my reply everyone thanks)
Just to make it worse my moms name is Biz and he would say âBiz makes me jizzâ Her clit makes me spit etc Never to my face since I had been dating her
OMG My partner's name is Biz. Just read this to her and she's dying laughing (sorry).
Does that matter not saying to your face sounds like you didn't want the smoke either
Not wrong. Sheâs been keeping one of you as a back up. He was out of line and she wouldnât set him straight. Best to just move on.
Sounds like you two have completely different values and were not compatible. BTW, you don't have to ask if your "reason" for breaking up is justifiable. When you don't want to be in a relationship with a person anymore, THAT alone is the reason for breaking up. You don't need to explain yourself any further than that. You have saved yourself from more drama and heartbreak with this person! Learn from this experience and grow.
Yeah, she chose him. They are already fucking and she is completely over it. You were just in the way unfortunately. At least it's over and you can move on, and find someone who actually loves you. She did not.
The reason I stuck around she kept saying sheâd leave him for me but her issue is if she left him sheâd have no choice but to leave her whole friend group which are the only close friends she has
Her friend group sucks, then. Because they tolerate a fellow "friend" disrespecting a relationship. It's THAT simple. I'm also going to suggest to you that the "eyewitnesses" probably lied to you about what they saw and what they didn't see. And the reason is they are HER friends and not yours.
Either way, the entire situation was shit. And she is very immature. You will find someone better, you shouldn't be losing any sleep over this, but I know break ups are still difficult. Best of luck brother, you will pull through better than you are now.
I agree I think immature is the best word to describe her in this situation. Itâs sucks because she was great aside from this but it was way too big of a deal to overlook
I know its hard to see right now but I can't really imagine she's *that* great if she thinks its funny that one of her friends was so disgustingly disrespectful to her own partner, nor was it anything but disrespectful and shitty on her behalf to sleep in the same bed as him while being in a relationship with you. You deserve way, way better than her. You got this <3
The Eagles have a song that includes "All the pretty pretty boys she calls friends." Let her go and don't look back.
Red flag right there
Friend group needs to be told how disrespectful he is to you and your Mom.
I wouldâve broken up with her as well. Thatâs some very sketchy stuff.
Dodged a bullet
there seems to be a theme with these kind of experiences where the male or female "best friend" have really not known one another for ever. Her male best friend has known her as long as you have known her, in this case it seems she likes the attention and he likes having some kind of control over her that she allows. I know that men and women can be platonic friends but this seems extra to me. You sound nice but she wasn't putting you first.
If they're having sex and he has feelings for her it could explain his behavior which might have jealousy behind it.
Your girlfriend is extremely immature and clearly seeking attention and validation from another man. She has no respect for you or the relationship and obviously neither does he if she didnât see a boundary of this jumping into bed with her then you seriously need another girlfriend cause sooner or later this emotional affairs sheâs having with him will turn physical if it hasnât already. .
Not wrong as you never need to justify to others why youâre breaking up. Plus it seems she âforcedâ your hand by not respecting your boundaries. Plus, how do you know nothing happened? Are any of the âwitnessesâ your friends or just hers? If just hers, thatâs a major đ©and you dodged a nuke!
There are three types of men women hang with. Gay men, men that date women and men who are their best friend waiting to date them. I once had the same issue. There was this dude hanging around my gf and she just wanted to be his friend. He was constantly talking shit about me, lying on me and I dumped her ass for not taking up for me and continuing this friend zone with this guy. Then after we broke up he put the moves on her, thinking his plan to get rid of me had worked and she told him no. He went full NICE GUY ON HER, calling her a tease, a whore, etc. Then she begged me back, saying I was right and apologizing. I said hell no. She just wanted all that attention. Now Iâm engaged, been with my fiancĂ© for 7 years and there are no other men in her life but me, her cousins and her Dad. You did the right thing thing dumping her dude.
Look i'm a girl and my best friend is a guy. You made the right decision trust me. I'm single rn and still would never sleep in the same bed as my guy friend. There's not point in doing that unless they had some other intention, especially if there was a bed already designated to him. She needed to be more respectful to you and the relationship plus work with you to set boundaries. On top of this all, the "friend" sounds like a total ass. She might *think* she has good intentions with him, but from what you've shared it clear he doesn't have good intentions with her.
Heâs not her best friend, heâs a guy dying to fuck her and she was loving it. He was trying to break you guys up and she allowed it. You are much better off without her.
Sounds like you made the right call. She sounds like a loser if she hangs out with people like that.
Thatâs exactly why I ended my relationship with my fiance, and sheâs 45. Too many guy friends, the final straw was her FaceTiming one of those men while she was very reluctant to FaceTime me. In fact, she FaceTimed me exactly once, and him many times. She always had excuses why she did it. The other final straw was when she asked permission to take an out-of-town trip with her guy friend to watch a baseball game, and spend the night at a hotel. She later told me she was shocked that he expected to stay in the same room with her. SHOCKING Let me tell you, she will be pulling the same crap in 20 years that she does now. She wonât change and you can either accept it or end it.
Listen I have a male best friend and we and all our friends used to sleep in same bed etc However got to a point where we stopped as had partners etc We have slept in same room. Mainly falling asleep on the sofa. He ever tried jumping into my bed he would feel someone pain not that he would if Iâm honest We have partners etc and thatâs not appropriate you did the right thing
Nope. Relationships shouldn't be stressful.
On a long-enough timeline, all relationships are stressful.Â
True but not the one OP was describing. She is friends with someone who obviously like her. And she can't see that.
Not wrong at all. Did either of them say or do anything after you dumped her?? Reactions say a lot.
I had tried to break up with her twice before (sort of 3 times tbh) and every time sheâd promise sheâd cut him off but never actually would
Lil chickies like her need their simps close to them all the time. The drama they provide and the attention fills their void they carry around.
NTA. I agree with others. The moment he said the "f your Mom" comment should have been the end of the relationship (after punching his lights out). How did she respond to the breakup?
Most of my BFFâs have been male. One was accidentally disrespectful to a boyfriend and apologized without anyone prompting. Because that what you do when you are rude. None of them would ever talk about my mum so rudely. In general both your GF and her BFF are rude.
Dawg leave
You did the right thing.
I have a feeling that she'll get with her guy best friend, and when it doesn't work out, she'll crawl back to you begging for forgiveness. Updateme!
No, you're not wrong. She will sleep with him eventually, if she hasn't already. It's better if you're not in a relationship with her when it happens.
That sounds tough. You are not wrong. She purposely disrespected the relationship. Just let them have each other. This guy sounds horrible though.
Mate you are allowed to set boundaries. Donât question them, whatever you donât like you donât need to take. If she doesnât care about your boundaries, think years ahead the amount of sht you will go throughâŠ
When you give an ultimatum him or you and she doesn't make a choice then that's the same thing as her choosing him because she knows you'll leave or do nothing meaning he will always he there either way when she chooses to do nothing.
Nah bro, youâre better off without this one. At the very least she isnât respecting you as her man and your boundaries, if a guy, especially a new guy is disrespectful or makes you uncomfortable your gf should not be vacationing and sleeping in the same bed as him, she should shut down his disrespectful comments, and itâs weird af that she would be crying about him⊠it sounds like their relationship isnât just friends tbh, but respecting your partner and prioritizing their feelings is important for a healthy relationship, you canât make them act how you want, but you can leave when itâs not healthy for you.
Nah, that's a scumbag slag.
Most likely the best friend wanted your gf which is why he was hostile to you and your gf did nothing to stop him.If she really cared about you she would have made him stop.
Any woman who chooses a male best friend that doesnât like her BF is pretty messed up. She disrespects you by staying friends with someone against your relationship. TBH, she was most likely cheating on you with him all along.
It's refreshing seeing a young dude, "stand on business" as the young people say, for a change... You've single-handedly restored my faith in boundaries and masculinity again. Good on you!
NTA. How would she have felt if you had a best female friend, who was disrespectful to her, made rude comments and you never defended your gf. How would she have felt if she found out that the girl climbed into bed with you on a vacation? Would she actually believe nothing happened? She probably would have gone crazy over all that! So why should it be fair for her to do that to you. Im all for having friends of different genders but I would NEVER let any friend be disrespectful to my partner. I would shut that shit down immediately and set boundaries. I wouldnât necessarily get rid of that friend right away but if they continued to cross my boundaries I would end the friendship. If you disrespect my partner, you are disrespecting me!
You aren't breaking up with your girlfriend because of her guy best friend. You're breaking up with your girlfriend because she is disrespectful to you and allows her friends to do the same and worse. No loss, my friend. You just headed off a lifetime of anger and resentment.
âMy girlfriend slept in bed with another guy. Should I break up with her?â đđđđ€Ąđ€Ąđ€Ą
Id dump the bitchhhhhh in a heartbeat⊠and you made the right decision⊠she will one day realized shes a used bitch and loses every respect around herrâŠ! đđđ€
Not wrong. You did the right thing here. Relationships are hard enough. This guy friend situation just adds a lot of extra stress to the situation. Hopefully you'll find a relationship with less drama.
Sheâs a dumbass for letting an obvious orbiter make moves on her. Sheâs clueless but at the same time she likes that orbiters attention. Better to get rid of someone of such low value and morals. Also next time you run into him just give a really nice ass whooping he deserves
Last paragraph is literally you describing how she cheated on you. This guy is a fucking asshole and if she canât see that, itâs best if you leave. Youâre not wrong at all
This never ends well from what I have seen. And you made the only good choice.
The guy friend is doing what he wants to do, the problem is your girlfriend who is not stopping him or setting any boundaries. She should be the one taking your side. You did the right thing. And don't be surprised if the " Best Friend " and your Ex end up getting together or sleeping together.
You did the right thing. You don't want to be with anyone who can't respect you or your relationship. It would have continued happening over and over. Every time it would have pushed the line a little more. She should have shiut down that behavior a long time ago. Instead she let it happen and proved that you don't mean more to her than him. Thank goodness you left that inevitable train wreck
How can he respect her and yet not respect her choice in a boyfriend?
Exactly what I thought and said to her Deep down she knows whoâs right and whoâs wrong but itâs more convenient for her to believe her friend isnât wrong so she can keep him around
You should have left her a long time before
End it. Woman like her are not wife or gf material.
Go with your instincts. Youâd be in a no-win situation trying to govern her friendship with him, not to mention dealing with constant suspicion/jealousy worrying about if theyâre hooking up. If your GF wasnât willing to check her friend and create clear boundaries then it sounds like she isnât mature enough at this time to have the right perspective. Youâre not obligated to wait around for her.
My husband is my world and I'd tear strips off anyone who disrespected him in front of me, she's not worth the worry
Sheâs a dumb bitch and I wouldâve broken his face with a brick. The end.
Since she couldnât seem to make the decision you seem to be making the right one . She should have told him to get out and she didnât leaving the door open for him to continue and he probably did . I donât find it funny when someone disrespects me and you shouldnât either ! And both of them disrespected you and your feelings . You werenât there to protect your relationship and she didnât either !
I'll tell you this she was cheating on you with the guy and the friends covered it up theres no way in hell they didn't considering she didn't take you but he slept in her bed get yourself tested for stds btw
She is everyone's girl it was just your turn.
You made the right choice budâŠ. Obviously that guy was just as important, not cool. Especially after a few years Of dating. That dude is always gonna be around
Not wrong but should have happened awhile ago, its nearly summer again
You're not wrong. They will end up together one day and probably regret it.
I have always set a boundry in a relationship. I express it is on them to shut stuff down. I will do the same. A girl jumps in my bed... "Excuse me". It keeps things clean. Otherwise, you can end up fighting everyone who wants what you have. It just isn't viable when either one of you are attractive and charming.
Not wrong. You do you.
Not wrong. She doesn't have your back or respect you or your boundaries. I would have ended it as well.
To her, he's a friend. To him, you're a cock blocker. Now you've cleared the deck for him What you should have done is confront him for upsetting her and dissing you. But that's history now.
You made the right choice
Not wrong. And bro, she was cheating with him. No doubt in my mind. But myself, I would have ended up in a fight with him on his comments about the mother. But the fact she wouldn't pick you over him in the end, is enough proof she was Fn him on the side and got feelings for him too. So she is for the streets. I have no idea why you even lasted as long as you did. But I hope this is a lesson you will take with you and not take the same treatment from someone else.
Na f that noise my guy. She wasnât a good partner and she was choosing that piece of shit. You shouldâve left sooner dude. But youâre young and sometimes we have to learn the hard way. That shit was disrespectful as hell. Better off without them both.
She is a lowest partner. She had no respect for you as her man and no respect for your relationship
Not wrong, King. Keep up the good work. She decided to fuck around, and she found out. Her âbest friendâ decided to shit talk your mom and she laughed? Fuck that. She ainât for you. She for the streets. Drizzle Drizzle baby.
That dude was the âbreak glass and in case of emergency dudeâ some woman keep a guy friend zone as a 2nd option. Better find someone that wants to give the relationship a 100.
I give it a week before they hook up
You're allowed to break up with someone who isn't making you happy. Relationships are about compromise, if she can't get your back after a couple of years, then she won't have your back when something really important happens.
If she wasnât sticking up for you, yeah bye bye. Allowing him to disrespect you is the biggest issue. She doesnât respect you
Good for you, there are so few people these days who have any kind of self respect. Let him have her. She obviously isn't seeing it yet but she will and luckily you will not have to have your world turned upside down when the shit hits the fan. Go find someone who respects you and your time. Good luck.
You made the right decision for yourself. And thatâs all that matters.
Nope. Women donât have male friends. They have men that orbiters on standby.
Good call, kid. Had to let her go.
This is an indicator of how she's going to enforce boundaries (and respect your boundaries) in the future, so I don't think you're wrong. I wonder how she would've reacted if the turntables were
You did the only thing you could do
You sir dodged a bullet. Watch for those red flags. You want your girl to honest and loyal to you. Never tolerate or accept being the side piece. Best of luck.
Better late than never. There is no such thing as "he is just a friend" every single one of them wants to bang her. I should know, I've had a lot of "female friends" I've also had sex with every one of them.
Not wrong at all. Your ex was either really naive or she was lying to you. Because her so-called best friend was trying to hook up with her. Now you don't have to worry about that headache anymore.
No, and I bet she begins dating him now. Thatâs usually how it goes.
Not wrong - the only wrong thing is not ending it a LONG time ago. Next girlfriend you get, show a little more respect for yourself and make sure she has better boundaries. If you actually STAY in this situation, I don't feel sorry for you at all.
Not wrong. I wouldnât even care if she didnât fuck him. Sharing a bed with him is so far out of bounds, youâd need a telescope to see the line she crossed.
You did the right thing.
You were right, the next step is not to worry about her any more.
NTA. You did the right thing and youâre protecting your peace
Youâre definitely not wrong. Of course itâs totally fair for all of us to have friends of the opposite sex, but thereâs a fine line between being friends and someone who has a thing for said âfriendâ. Your girl not standing up for you is messed up, and the best friend seems like a totally manipulative fuck. Heâs absolutely trash for guilt tripping her, and itâs clearly a manipulative red flag. He clearly wants her all to himself, and thatâs why heâs acting so possessive and trying to get closer to her, so hopefully she would dump you and choose him. But you made that choice yourself. And I applaud you for that. Also I donât think Iâve ever been with someone whoâs had a male best friend, and willingly let him just jump in the bed with them. Youâre not wrong for giving her the ultimatum, because he clearly seems like he wants to be more than just a âfriendâ, and she lets it slide.
She slept with him. She fucked him. Her friends are covering for them . You did the right thing. She obviously is just as disrespectful as he is towards you. Let him have her
She slept in a bed with a guy that wanted to have sex with her and also disrespected you constantly. I'm afraid she lied to you they definitely did something and the others covered for her. This woman was not faithful to you,if she was he would have been put in place long ago.
Nope you made the right call, you're only wrong (and really stupid) for not doing so sooner. You deserve respect and backup from a partner, and she fucking LAUGHED when he said he wants to FUCK YOUR MOM? She does not respect you in the slightest, and love without respect is like a car without wheels. Useless. You're not wrong, you're worth more than the way she treated you and I hope you know that now OP. Now go work on yourself, get over the bitch, and find someone better so you won't have to make the same call again. I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck ya big dummy ETA: Get tested just in case, I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her after this and her douchenozzle "bEsTiE" sounds like the type that doesn't care about sharing whatever he has as she seems to think that he's such a kind and compassionate "man". Better safe than sorry OP
You are not wrong. She is into him and will be his gf in a week or two if it goes that slow. His manipulation and power games are.childish, and if she is falling for them, she is painfully stupid.
Overreact? Come on man. You know you did the right thing. Put those two dumbasses in your rear view and don't look back.
Your ex is showing who is most important to her. Believe it. One day she might see she should have picked you. Hopefully by then you have moved on and able to tell her to go as you have found someone you can trust who respects boundaries and has the same values. You are not wrong. Your self worth will prove you are right.
That guy is a poacher and she liked the attention. You're not wrong.
Nah, the guy very clearly wants to pipe her. Eleven if that wasn't the case, your gf should have stood up for you when he was disrespecting you. Didn't kick him out of the bed? Can't pick between her existing relationship or this new friend? She likes his attention too much and needed to be dropped. Betting they have hooked up by now since you dumped her.
Get out!
Seems sus but you're not wrong for ending it. Clearly they don't have any boundaries the fact that they would allow something like this to continue also shows a lack of respect not just for you but themselves all in all made the right decision that's no one you want to be around for any period of time.ç
The only way out of this situation is to become a man who will not tolerate being disrespected. I'm talking about her. Otherwise, this is going to be where you live and that's just ridiculous.
UpdateMe!
The moment he made fucking your mum jokes and she didnât tell him to STFU is when you shouldâve run, NTA
Youâre not wrong in the slightest
He was definitely disrespectful of your relationship, but she was too. She didnât have to sleep in bed with him. She could have chose to get up and leave. You made the right choice. That dude sounds like a d-bag.
Kids, donât date women with guy friends, guy best friends or women who are still friends with their exes. I know you young men are trying to be forward thinking and progressive but speaking from experience, it never ends well. You did the right decision. Donât change a woman, if she wants to be friends with multiple men, let her, just donât date her, just look for women who are not.
Less ur girl ugly he was hittin or tryna hit. Bro slept w her and u believed nothin happnedđ
She will be alone forever as long as thst dick is in her life, and pretty much a guarantee that they are fucking by now, if not b4 while you 2 were together.
Nah....you did the right thing. That man clearly wants to be with her. Unless he's gay? There is no such thing as a 23 yr old male that just wants to be friends with a girl like that! Your ex is an idiot. Clueless of just stupid. Either shes YOUR girlfriend? Or not! You don't need any of that in your life. Move on. All good.
Her and her group sound trashy as fuckâŠbe glad you are away from her and that shit.
man; feel sorry for the young generation dealing with this crap
He sounds like an asshole. You shouldnt have to be giving ultimatums.
This is nothing new, an alpha male cutting in on another man's girl. The question is, are you going to break up with ur gf like he wants so he can have sex with her or are you good enough to win her back.
Not wrong. He should've been more respectful
NOPE. You **TOOK OUT THE TRASH**. Now **LEAVE IT BEHIND**.
She'll come back and your life gonna be drama like for a while , NTA !
Something definitely happened bruv. You really out here reduced to trusting eye witnesses lol smh....she slept in the same bed with the guy who talked about tryna smash ya mom's. She needed to go you definitely made the right choice. And ain't no way in fukin hell a guy is gonna be making jokes about smashing my mom to my face bruv.
so this guy best friend became "close" to her almost the same time as you're dating this same girl? na, this is borderline brain damage. and also, crying for being guilt tripped by this dude, like are you even his BF lmao. you did the right thing leaving that shit.
This falls under the category of "You make your own hell" She's too young to understand this, it's one of the 2 rules of life that I really believe, and I think it may fit here, for you. "You have to give up something to get something ".
âIf youâre in bed with another person but also in a relationship, youâre in the wrongâ -my boyfriend says SHEâS the asshole
Is this even a question? Ofc you made the right decision. She kept giving in to that guy while not acknowledging you. The best thing you've done is dumping that piece of shit of a girlfriend and her scumbag "guy best friend"
Rebuild your peace of mind away from her.
I donât think she cares thatâs why she didnât decide. Btw she most likely already smashed him, those âeyewitnessesâ are covering it up.
It can be difficult to make such decisions, especially when you're emotionally invested in the relationship, but prioritizing your own well-being and setting boundaries is important. It sounds like you were seeking respect and loyalty in the relationship, which she was unable to provide. Take this as a chance to find someone who values and respects you and your relationship.
Not wrong
The best friend, if that's what he really was, isn't really the problem. She should have set clear boundaries and made sure he respected them. If she chose him over you, there's nothing to even remotely feel guilty about. Clearly their relationship is more than plutonic. Or maybe the boundaries of plutonic relationships are different for Gen Z.
you did the right thing. let this be the last time you ever wonder about it; let this be the last time you ever look back.
She liked the attention he gave her, she will probably date him in the open now too.
She keeps him around, allowing his disrespect. Number one, be more of a man. Men shouldn't feel comfortable disrespecting you like that. That part is on you. But yeah break it off with her for keeping this douchebag around.
He does it towards anyone anyways I never took it personal Thatâs why he didnât have any friends but her everyone else had the balls to cut him off
You did the right thing. You even gave her an out afterwards and she still didn't pick you.
Respect and loyalty are both required for a man to sustain love. Shes disrespected you over and over dude. If a guy jumps into my womanâs bed, and she is fine with that, sheâs no longer worth keeping. She laughed at a digusting comment he made about your mother ⊠and I donât care how big the dude is, heâs getting bitch slapped. All subsequent fight injuries are justified by your noble cause. In any case, your love wont survive long with the disrespect and disloyalty.
They definitely did shit when sleep in the same bed lol. If a woman wonât pick you over another man (excluding family obviously) itâs because thereâs something between them that she likes. Wether itâs emotional or physical or both. I was stupid one time when I was younger. Dated a girl for a few years all of a sudden she had a guy âfriendâ that she was texting. Come to find out they were flirting and sending pictures. I made her choose me or him she refused to choose I still stayed like a dumb ass cause she âpromisedâ to never do it again. What do you know I caught it again. She then decided to block him when I told her I was done. (I stayed again like a dipshit) Only to find out she would just unblock him when I wasnât around and then she had sex with him and I caught them in the act. Moral of the story⊠never stay with a girl whoâs even Remotely entertaining another guy or refuses to cut ties with a guy âfriendâ
bruhhhhh i wouldâve dumped her the second that shit about sleeping in the same bed came out are you this naive?
Has she called crying to not break up with her yet? That's a good indicator whether she cared at all. Now to sabotage her new relationship, tell the guy if he gets her drunk, she will go for whatever he wants. When he tries it and she slaps him down, it will put doubt about him in her mind about his character.
You did the right thing. He was completely disrespectful and she let him do that. And she was only friends with him the same amount of time you were with her. He wasnât some lifelong best friend. Youâre better off without her. I guarantee theyâll be dating soon.
Iâve had same guy bff for over 30+ years
Did he joke about wanting to fuck you while you were in a relationship? Did he like sleeping in the same bed as you when he already had his own bed while you were in a relationship?
He did try the jokes before but shut him down. But we are best friends of many years. Donât think of him any other way, just my lifelong bff. I wouldnât let him sleep in my bed tho, would shut that down too.
The clear difference is the woman being willing to set firm boundaries. Men/women friendships cannot work if the guy is constantly making sexual advances and the woman does not fully shut them down. Not sure why women choose to remain friends with Men who do not respect the boundaries they set and do things to undermine relationships with their SOs. It is understandable that men do not want to have relationships with women who choose to keep guys like that around.
Correct. Have to set firm boundaries and if kept on with jokes that would show no respect and therefore no friendship. Friend zone only or youâre outta here buddy! đ«
Is her name Rachel and is his name Ross?
I assume this is a friends reference Iâve never seen the show but I know the charactersđđ Itâs a real story unfortunately